Pre-Release [September 23, 2025]
A lw A ys
s omething t here
Arrangements and Orchestrations b y Geoffrey Ko Book by Sandy Rustin
Originally directed by James Vásquez
Developed by Lively McCabe Entertainment & Primary Wave Music
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CAST OF CHARACTERS
6 Principals / 11 (or more) Ensemble
*This script maps out a cast of 17; the show may be done with as few as 14.
SAMANTHA CRAIG (age 18): A girl with a huge heart, classic teenage angst, and a newly discovered voice.
SAMANTHA CRAIG (STEVENS/ROY) (age 45): Initially seen as a woman at the bottom of the barrel, and later as a woman living her best life.
CAMELIA SHACKLEBAUM (18): Samantha's best friend. A trend setter and feminist before feminism was trendy.
COOPER ROY (age 18): Samantha's secret crush, he is shy and sensitive in the way that Led Zeppelin fans often are.
JOHNNY STEVENS (18): This boy will not survive the #metoo movement as he ages. Samantha's bully of a high school boyfriend and eventual exhusband.
WINSTON LEE (18): Cooper's friend. He basically started Dungeons and Dragons as like a thing. One day, he will invent "apps" and marry Camelia.
ENSEMBLE WOMAN (40s): HOTEL CLERK (a wry sense of humor and an unusual hairdo will get her far). SAMANTHA'S MOM (never met a Jane Fonda video she couldn't drink a Tab while watching. She's the kind of mom with secret passions who also sometimes forgets her daughter's birthday).
SEÑORA JACKSON (Spanish Teacher at the high school). STUDIO CLUB SINGER (a Madonna lookalike at Studio Nightclub).
ENSEMBLE MAN (40s): STAGE MANAGER, PRINCIPAL KANEFSKY, ADULT COOPER ROY (Samantha's husband in a revised alt-realty).
ENSEMBLE TEENS (At least nine actors required):
TEEN 1: HOTEL CONCIERGE, DEBBIE WALLER, Sam's replacement in the band. Never met another girl she wasn't ready to buoy. A sensitive, pragmatic feminist ahead of her time. A Joan Cusack-esque gal.
TEEN 2: HOBBS TOTONCHI. "Hobbs on Keys" is what he wants on his gravestone. Ella is what he wants for the dance.
TEEN 3: DUCKIE MELBER, the anxious drummer in Cooper's band with a mad crush on Scarlet.
TEEN 4: ELLA MENKEN, Sam and Camelia’s friend. She loves lip gloss so much, she keeps one in each pocket, her locker, and her Trapper-Keeper. She is a closet brainiac.
TEEN 5: SCARLET WALTON, Sam and Camelia's other friend. She is serious about two things in the world: Ralph Macchio and fashion.
TEEN 6: GAVIN LOUIS, Johnny's sidekick. He's never been in an actual fight, but he has threatened to "punch the lights out" of 27 kids in his graduating class. This week.
TEEN 7: HOTEL GUEST, STUDENT, LESLIE HUFFINGTON (a Teen Madonna lookalike).
TEEN 8: STUDENT, LACY (Adult Sam and Adult Cooper's daughter).
TEEN 9: STUDENT, GREG (Adult Sam and Adult Cooper's son).
CASTING NOTE:
The roles of SCARLET/DUCKIE/HOBBS can be played by any gender and pronouns may be changed accordingly. The name SCARLET may be changed to SCOTTIE.
ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE ... is committed to supporting a cast and crew of diverse theatre workers. This diversity includes, but is not limited to, gender identities, ethnic and racial backgrounds, sexual orientations, body types, ages, and ability.
SETTINGS
A HOTEL - 2016
LOBBY ELEVATOR HOTEL ROOM
SAMANTHA'S TEENAGE BEDROOM - '80s
TREVIAN HIGH SCHOOL, SUBURBAN CHICAGO - '80s CLASSROOM HALLWAY GYMNASIUM
COOPER ROY'S RAD GARAGE - '80s
SAMANTHA'S ADULT HOME - 2016
PRODUCTION NOTES
This show opens and closes NOW, but the bulk of the show takes place in the late '80s.
MUSICAL NUMBERS
0. OVERTURE
ACT ONE
1. WE GOT THE BEAT (Go-Gos) COOPER, HOBBS, DUCKIE, ENSEMBLE
2. ONLY IN MY DREAMS (Debbie Gibson) ADULT SAMANTHA, FEMALE ENSEMBLE
3. KARMA CHAMELEON (Culture Club) CAMELIA, WINSTON, SAMANTHA, ELLA, SCARLET, JOHNNY, GAVIN, ENSEMBLE
4. TALK TO ME (Stevie Nicks) CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, ENSEMBLE
5. THE SEARCH IS OVER (Survivor) TEEN SAMANTHA, ADULT SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, ENSEMBLE
6. EVEN THE NIGHTS ARE BETTER (Air Supply) TEEN SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, HOBBS, DUCKIE
7. THE LOCO MOTION (Kylie Minogue) CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON, ENSEMBLE
8. WHIP IT (Devo)/MATERIAL GIRL (Madonna) WINSTON, ELLA, SCARLET, TEEN SAMANTHA, CAMELIA, STUDIO CLUB SINGER, ENSEMBLE
9. TOGETHER FOREVER (Rick Astley) TEEN SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, ENSEMBLE
ACT TWO
10. ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME (Naked Eyes) ADULT SAMANTHA, TEEN SAMANTHA, ENSEMBLE
11. POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME (Def Leppard) WINSTON, CAMELIA, TEEN SAMANTHA, ENSEMBLE
12. STOP (Jane's Addiction) / EYE OF THE TIGER (Survivor) SENORA JACKSON, JOHNNY, GAVIN, ADULT SAMANTHA, CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, DEBBIE, ENSEMBLE
13. LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD (Pat Benatar) ADULT SAMANTHA, TEEN SAMANTHA, JOHNNY, COOPER, ENSEMBLE
14. I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY (Whitney Houston) DUCKIE, ELLA, HOBBS, SCARLET, DEBBIE, GAVIN, ENSEMBLE
15. SHATTERED DREAMS (Johnny Hates Jazz) TEEN SAMANTHA, ADULT SAMANTHA, FEMALE ENSEMBLE
16. COULD'VE BEEN (Tiffany) TEEN SAMANTHA, COOPER
17. WE'RE READY (Boston) TEEN SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON, ENSEMBLE
17A. BORDERLINE (Madonna) SCHMADONNA, ENSEMBLE VOICES
18. WE GOT THE BEAT (Reprise)/ CUPS (Anna Kendrick) / GET THE PARTY STARTED (Pink) TEEN SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, ENSEMBLE
19. IF YOU WERE HERE (Thompson Twins) (Instrumental Only)
20. MEGAMIX/BOWS Full Company
PROLOGUE
SAMANTHA
It is 2016 in a Quality Hotel Lobby. (A LED LIGHT BOARD flashes: 2016).
MUZAK plays (instrumental only) GET THIS PARTY STARTED (Pink).
SAMANTHA, 45 tomorrow, enters through the lobby doors, pulling her suitcase behind her. She sees the front desk and crosses in.
MUZAK continues to play.
Samantha Craig Stevens, checking in.
HOTEL DESK CLERK (ENSEMBLE WOMAN (politely cheerful)
How many people in your room?
SAMANTHA
One.
So, just you?
HOTEL DESK CLERK
SAMANTHA
Yeah. Just me.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Cuz we’re having a best friends getaway weekend special if you wanna ...
SAMANTHA (interrupting, irritable) My best friend hasn’t talked to me in 12 years. (her PHONE RINGS)
Excuse me ... (into her phone)
Yes, Mr. Thomkins. Yep, I’ll be ready by 6 AM. Nothing matters more to me than the success of Thomkins Toilets, sir.
Goodnight ...
SAM hangs up, more depressed than you can even imagine.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
(presenting her with a manilla envelope, with a knowing grimace)
Oh, this came for you today.
SAMANTHA
I got mail? Here?
HOTEL DESK CLERK
(with a judgmental knowingness)
It was ... hand delivered. On behalf of a Mr. Johnny Stevens.
SAMANTHA
My husband?
She opens the envelope - reads.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
My husband served me divorce papers at the hospital while my mother was dying. So ... bright side?
SAMANTHA
(upset - stuffing papers back in the envelope)
Yeah. OK - am all I set here? Cuz there’s a mini-bar and a feather pillow calling my name.
The MUZAK shifts to WE GOT THE BEAT (Instrumental Only) (Go-Gos).
The CLERK hands SAM a key.
HOTEL DESK CLERK (sarcastically)
Good luck sleeping. Cooper Roy’s got a show at the Palladium up the block.
SAMANTHA
Cooper Roy is performing here?!
HOTEL DESK CLERK (handing SAM a flyer)
Here’s a flyer but don’t get excited - it’s sold out.
SAMANTHA
Oh, I ... don’t need a ticket. I’ve seen him perform a million times.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
You have?!?
SAMANTHA
We used to ... we grew up together. (then)
Actually - we used to play this song in high school.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
(beyond impressed)
You were in a band with Cooper Roy?!
TIME and SPACE begin to morph from 2016 to 1989.
As dialogue continues, TEENS FROM THE ‘80s begin to take over the space, weaving in and out of the ADULTS in 2016. We hear them singing “WE GOT THE BEAT” on repeat - low, distant - building.
MUSIC/LIGHTS/SPARKLE/FOG/HAZE help us understand a TIME/SPACE transition is underway as SAM’s memory takes hold.
The world of the ‘80’s exists only in SAM’s memory, juxtaposed with the reality of 2016. WE GOT THE BEAT builds ...
SAMANTHA
(distracted by her memories)
No, no ... Well, I mean yes - a long time ago. I sang.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Oh, well, sing something!
SAMANTHA
(dream like)
No no ... I don’t sing anymore.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Why not?
SAMANTHA
Because ... because ...
ADULT SAMANTHA observes a scene from her PAST in her ‘80’s HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM as the 2016 HOTEL LOBBY begins to disappear and a vibrant OPENING NUMBER takes over.
As TEENS stream in, TEEN COOPER takes the stage ...
ADULT SAMANTHA
(noticing him, flooded with nostalgia) Cooper!
The hubbub of memory, like the unzipping of a zipper, now reveals the 1980’s RUBBER BAND.
The lead guitarist and singer is COOPER ROY, amazing and adorable. On keys is HOBBS (Teen 2). On drums is DUCKIE (Teen 3).
SAM is at a loss for words. But no matter, she’s lost in a memory now. The ‘80s have taken over.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Mrs. Stevens? ...
THE RUBBER BAND
ALL THE KIDS JUST GETTING OUT OF SCHOOL THEY CAN'T WAIT TO HANG OUT AND BE COOL HANG AROUND 'TIL QUARTER AFTER TWELVE THAT'S WHEN THEY FALL IN LINE
TEEN ENSEMBLE fills the stage as ADULT SAMANTHA weaves in and out of the scene from her past.
ADULT SAMANTHA (noticing her best friend) Camelia!
THE RUBBER BAND AND TEEN ENSEMBLE THEY GOT THE BEAT THEY GOT THE BEAT KIDS GOT THE BEAT YEAH KIDS GOT THE BEAT
COOPER
GO-GO MUSIC REALLY MAKES US DANCE DOING THE PONY PUTS US IN A TRANCE THE WATUSI, JUST GIVE US A CHANCE
THE RUBBER BAND AND TEEN ENSEMBLE THAT'S WHEN WE FALL IN LINE 'CAUSE WE GOT THE BEAT WE GOT THE BEAT WE GOT THE BEAT YEAH
COOPER WE GOT IT!
DUCKIE EVERYBODY GET ON YOUR FEET
WE GOT THE BEAT
ALL
HOBBS
WE KNOW YOU CAN DANCE TO THE BEAT
ALL
WE GOT THE BEAT
COOPER JUMP BACK, GET DOWN
ALL
WE GOT THE BEAT
COOPER ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
Music video style - it now becomes drums only underscoring as DUCKIE and HOBBS continue to sing; COOPER locks eyes with TEEN SAMANTHA.
TEEN ENSEMBLE
DUCKIE AND HOBBS
COOPER gestures for TEEN SAM to come up on stage. To take the mic. (Ala “16 Candles”) ...
TEEN ENSEMBLE
WE GOT THE BEAT
DUCKIE AND HOBBS WE GOT THE BEAT
TEEN SAMANTHA (looking behind her first and then nearly mouthing the word) Me?
TEEN ENSEMBLE (DUCKIE AND HOBBS ECHO)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
COOPER (warmly, from beneath his perfect bangs) Yeah, you.
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
TEEN ENSEMBLE (DUCKIE AND HOBBS ECHO)
TEEN SAM nods, breaking into a wide smile.
ADULT SAMANTHA
Oh God - I was so young. (noticing TEEN JOHNNY) Johnny!
MALE ENSEMBLE
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE BEAT
WE GOT THE ...
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
DUCKIE AND HOBBS
TEEN SAM starts to make her way to the stage, ADULT SAM observing/weaving throughout, while the high school gymnasium pulsates with teenage angst and the smell of Drakkar.
TEEN JOHNNY (all bite AND bark), swoops in, with his buff and bully sidekick, GAVIN LOUIS (Teen 6), in tow.
MALE ENSEMBLE
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
DUCKIE AND HOBBS
TEEN SAMANTHA
Just as TEEN SAM begins to sing, JOHNNY rips the microphone cord out of the amp. The music stalls.
COOPER/DUCKIE/HOBBS/TEENS (all at once / ad-libbing)
Hey Man! / What’s your beef?! / Dude! / What happened to the music? Etc.
Johnny!
TEEN SAMANTHA/ADULT SAMANTHA
JOHNNY
Samantha! We’ve talked about this. B.S. “bands” are a waste of time.
GAVIN
Total waste.
JOHNNY
I have a basketball game. You’re my lucky charm.
ADULT SAMANTHA
He always used to say that.
JOHNNY
Let’s go ...
TEEN SAMANTHA (all confidence gone)
But Johnny ... I ...
ADULT SAMANTHA (wishing to reverse the past - calling out to her younger self, unheard by all) C’mon! Speak up for yourself!
JOHNNY
I said, let’s go.
TEEN SAM decides to go with him. She hands COOPER the mic and leaves with JOHNNY who pulls her off with him.
ADULT SAMANTHA (calling after them) No! Don’t go with him!
But they’re gone.
LIGHTS shift. TEENS begin to disappear as the memory of the ‘80s vanishes and life returns to the 2016 HOTEL LOBBY.
A HOTEL GUEST strolls off the same way JOHNNY/TEEN SAM exited, pulling their suitcase.
ADULT SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Don’t go with him!
The GUEST is startled by SAM’s outburst and quickly exits.
CONCIERGE
Uh, do you know her?
SAMANTHA (still in a daze) What?
CONCIERGE
Lady - you’re creeping out the guests. Are you OK?
SAMANTHA (snapping out of it)
Oh. God. Sorry. I uh ... that song - it just really brought me back.
By now the memory of the ‘80s is gone. We are back in the bleak HOTEL LOBBY.
HOTEL DESK CLERK (realizing with delight)
Hey - it says here it’s your birthday!
SAMANTHA
It’s tomorrow.
HOTEL DESK CLERK (presenting a muffin) Complimentary muffin!
She sticks a candle in the muffin.
Lighting the candle, the CLERK starts to sing ...
HOTEL DESK CLERK (CONT’D)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ...
CONCIERGE join in...
HOTEL DESK CLERK AND CONCIERGE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR HOTEL GUEST/LADY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
The CLERK and SAMANTHA stand on profile - the birthday muffin between them - like a sad alt version of the end of 16 Candles.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Make a wish, Mrs. Stevens.
A thought. Then SAM snuffs out the candle with her fingers.
SAMANTHA
Ya know what, I’m good, thanks.
HOTEL DESK CLERK
(handing SAM the muffin)
It’s bad luck to snuff out your birthday candle.
SAMANTHA
How could my luck get any worse?
HOTEL DESK CLERK
Don’t jinx yourself!
(handing her a room key) Room 1107. It’s just down the hall.
HOTEL DESK CLERK points.
HOTEL DESK CLERK (CONT’D)
Happy birthday.
SAM weakly acknowledges and moves towards her room.
SCENE 1 (CONTINUOUS FROM PROLOGUE)
2. ONLY IN MY DREAMS (DEBBIE GIBSON)
SAMANTHA
(re: the Cooper Roy flyer/divorce papers/muffin/phone) What an absolute disaster.
Then as SAM makes her way to her HOTEL ROOM ...
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
EV’RY TIME I’M TELLING SECRETS I REMEMBER HOW IT USED TO BE AND I REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND I REALIZE HOW IT FEELS TO BE FREE NOW I SEE I’M UP TO NO GOOD
OFF STAGE VOICES
AH
SAMANTHA AND I WANNA START AGAIN CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN I FELT GOOD
OFF STAGE VOICES FELT GOOD BABY
SAMANTHA
NO, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHEN ...
NO, ONLY IN MY DREAMS
SAMANTHA (AND OFF STAGE VOICES) (CONT’D) AS REAL AS IT MAY SEEM IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS NO, NO, NO, NO, ONLY IN MY DREAMS AS REAL AS IT MAY SEEM IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS
ADULT SAM finds herself in her hotel room. She sets her muffin down, kicks off her shoes, opens the mini-bar and begins to drink.
SAMANTHA & OFF STAGE ENSEMBLE
OH, AH - OH, AH - OH, AH - OH, AH - AH AH, ONLY IN MY DREAMS AS REAL AS IT MAY SEEM IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS (IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS / IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS - OH) NO, NO, NO, NO ONLY IN MY DREAMS AS REAL AS IT MAY SEEM IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS
Iconic SAX solo as SAM gets progressively more and more drunk.
ENSEMBLE
OH, AH - OH, AH - OH, AH - OH, AH - AH
SAM remembers the candle now and lights it ...
SAMANTHA
NO, ONLY IN MY DREAMS AS REAL AS IT MAY SEEM IT WAS ONLY IN MY DREAMS
I wish ... I wish I could do it all over again.
SAM blows out the candle and SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS. SOUND. LIGHTS. MUSIC. MAGIC. SAM, oblivious to it all, promptly passes out on her bed.
Imagine a bit of an electrical, sparkly, lightening storm. (Practically: A gentle strobe light / slow motion movement / a shift in music / a intense gust of wind).
Music/lights/sound transition us from 2016 to 1989.
The world goes topsy-turvy.
SCENE 2 (THE NEXT MORNING AND ALSO 27 YEARS EARLIER IN SAMANTHA’S TEENAGE BEDROOM).
In a SUDDEN juxtaposition, SUNLIGHT streams through the curtains as Debbie Gibson’s Only in My Dreams plays from SAM’s alarm clock.
Through theatrical magic, the HOTEL BED has become TEENAGE SAM’s BED and is rigged in such a way that TEEN SAM is pre-set under the covers.
Sam’s MOTHER knocks on Sam’s door, entering at the same time in a jazzercise leotard.
SAM’S MOM (classic ‘80s midwest, high energy, high bangs) Knock knock, sleepy head.
SAM’S MOM flips on all the lights revealing SAMANTHA’S TEENAGE BEDROOM, complete with Menudo and Michael J. Fox posters. Framed photos of teenage Johnny and Sam.
TEENAGE SAM, stretches, moans, rolls over, pulling a pillow over her head.
SAM’S MOM (CONT’D)
Uh-uh. We’re not doing this today, Samantha. My fingers are all sticky from morning decoupage, I’ve got Mr. Morietti coming over to look at the dishwasher in half an hour and I still haven’t done my Jane Fonda. Getupgetupgetup. You can not miss the bus.
TEEN SAM sits straight up in bed. Headgear and all.
TEEN SAMANTHA Mom?!
SAM’S MOM
Get up, girlfriend!
TEEN SAM’s hair is permed, she’s in Hello Kitty shortie pajamas and now, noticing herself - realizing she’s woken up in 1989 - she ... well, she screams.
SAM’S MOM (CONT’D) (covering her ears)
Cut it out Sam! I don’t have time for hysterics this morning!
SAMANTHA (remembering)
The mini-bar. (realizing)
I must be realllllly drunk.
SAM’S MOM
You better not be, young lady!
SAMANTHA (realizing with concern) Or dead. (desperate)
Mom! Am I dead?!
SAM’S MOM
(80s-mom-threatening)
Not yet, but keep this up, Miss Thing, and you will be!
SAM’S best friend, CAMELIA, enters in leg warmers and a denim jacket coated in pithy buttons. She pulls her headphones off her walkman as she ENTERS the room, throwing her backpack on the floor.
CAMELIA (casually - this is an every day thing)
Hi, Mrs. Craig.
SAMANTHA
(not at all casual because she has timetraveled!)
Camelia!!!
SAM’S MOM
Oh good, you’re here. See if you can get her out of bed. I’ll be doing macramé in the den.
She EXITS.
CAMELIA (speed singing)
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Sammy Boom Ba Bammmmmmmy, Happy Birthday to you.
SAM jumps out of bed to hug her friend.
SAMANTHA
Cami, you’re talking to me!?
CAMELIA
I’m singing to you! (with elaborate hand gestures/choreo) Friends ‘til the end. We always will be. Nothing can come between you and me.
SAMANTHA (desperate)
What. Is. HAPPENING?!!!!!
CAMELIA
It’s your 18th birthday, baby, that’s what’s happening!
SAMANTHA 18?!?
SAM runs to her mirror. Seeing her teenage self for the first time, she gasps - touching her face!
CAMELIA (pulling out of her backpack ...)
I got you a Micky D’s Apple Pie to start your day healthy!
SAMANTHA (shocked at her reflection) Oh my God.
CAMELIA (re: the apple pie) If you’re not gonna eat it, can I?
SAMANTHA
I look ... (thrilled/shocked) So ... young!
CAMELIA
Don’t be crazy. You look very mature. (then) C’mon! Get dressed!
CAMELIA (CONT’D)
(then)
Winston is waiting outside - he’s holding a boombox over his head pretending to be Boy George.
3. KARMA CHAMELEON (CULTURE CLUB)
CAMELIA (CONT’D)
He’s like ... (ala WINSTON)
THERE'S A LOVIN’ IN YOUR EYES ALL THE WAY IF I LISTEN TO YOUR LIES, WOULD YOU SAY
WINSTON appears in the doorway.
WINSTON
Happy birthday, Sam.
SAMANTHA
Winston!
CAMELIA I'M A MAN
WINSTON A MAN
CAMELIA WITHOUT CONVICTION I'M A MAN
SAMANTHA A MAN?
CAMELIA WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SELL
WINSTON TO SELL
CAMELIA A CONTRADICTION YOU COME AND GO
WINSTON YOU COME AND GO
CAMELIA
She runs to him and hugs him!
Come on, come on, let’s go!
CAMELIA helps the shellshocked SAM get ready for school - clothes, makeup, shoes etc.
CAMELIA (CONT’D)
KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA CHAMELEON
SAMANTHA
Karma! That’s it!
WINSTON
YOU COME AND GO
SAMANTHA Winston!
WINSTON YOU COME AND GO
SAMANTHA (desperate for answers) What do you know about Karma?!
CAMELIA
LOVING WOULD BE EASY IF YOUR COLORS WERE LIKE MY DREAMS
WINSTON
RED, GOLD, AND GREEN
CAMELIA
RED, GOLD, AND GREEN
SAMANTHA
Cami, I think I’m in some sorta karmic loop!
WINSTON
That sounds fun!
SAMANTHA (to CAMELIA) I need to talk to you!
CAMELIA
Pass me a note during class.
SAMANTHA (ala Ferris Bueller) But - how could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?
CAMELIA
Cute, Ferris Bueller. Let’s go.
SAM, now dressed, is whisked into the high school mayhem as the CAST shifts the SET, joining in song as the HIGH SCHOOL HALL takes shape. She tries desperately to snap out of this. (Whatever “this” is.)
SAMANTHA
(slapping/pinching herself)
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
(suddenly seeing her entire high school universe in front of her ...)
What the ...
SCENE 3 (CONTINUOUS)
CAMELIA
The SCHOOL BELL rings interrupting her as LYRIC kicks in ...
DIDN'T HEAR YOUR WICKED WORDS EVERY DAY
ELLA (Teen 4) and SCARLET (Teen 5) join the clique.
SAMANTHA
Ella! Scarlet!
ELLA/SCARLET
Happy Birthday, Sam!
WINSTON AND YOU USED TO BE SO SWEET I HEARD YOU SAY
CAMELIA AND WINSTON (ELLA AND SCARLET)
THAT MY LOVE (MY LOVE) WAS AN ADDICTION WHEN WE CLING (WE CLING) OUR LOVE IS STRONG WHEN YOU GO (YOU GO) YOU'RE GONE FOREVER
CAMELIA, WINSTON, ELLA AND SCARLET YOU STRING ALONG YOU STRING ALONG
TEENS spill into the halls.
CAMELIA, WINSTON, ELLA, SCARLET AND TEENS
KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA CHAMELEON YOU COME AND GO YOU COME AND GO
LOVING WOULD BE EASY IF YOUR COLORS WERE LIKE MY DREAMS RED, GOLD, AND GREEN RED, GOLD, AND GREEN
JOHNNY and GAVIN run into the group of TEENS.
JOHNNY (re: SAMANTHA)
There’s my girl.
SAMANTHA
(still in a daze)
Oh my God. Johnny. Look at you.
JOHNNY
(licking a finger with a sizzle sound)
Smokin’. I know. (then)
So - what’s on the menu today?
ELLA (hinting) Birthday cake?!
JOHNNY
No way, dude. (flexing)
I’m off sugar. (then)
Can I have your Ham & Cheese?
SAMANTHA
(a bit breathless with the memory) I used to give you my lunch.
JOHNNY
Babe - what do you mean “used to?”
As he opens her backpack, taking her sack lunch for himself ...
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
I'M A MAN
GAVIN A MAN
JOHNNY WITHOUT CONVICTION I'M A MAN
CAMELIA (with an eye roll) “A man.”
JOHNNY WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SELL
GAVIN TO SELL
JOHNNY
A CONTRADICTION YOU COME AND GO YOU COME AND GO
The “set-up” of school continues.
ALL KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA CHAMELEON
CAMELIA AND WINSTON KARMA CHAMELEON
ALL YOU COME AND GO
CAMELIA AND WINSTON YOU COME AND GO
ALL YOU COME AND GO
LOVING WOULD BE EASY IF YOUR COLORS WERE LIKE MY DREAMS RED, GOLD, AND GREEN RED, GOLD, AND GREEN KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA, KARMA CHAMELEON
On the button, SAM, still shocked, but now fully outfitted as her teenage self, finds herself, as the second SCHOOL BELL RINGS, in Spanish class. CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON, JOHNNY, GAVIN, and COOPER are also in class.
SEÑORA JACKSON
Hola, class.
SAMANTHA (to herself)
This is insane.
STUDENTS
Hola, Señora.
SAMANTHA (inhaling - nearly to herself)
It even smells like high school.
SEÑORA JACKSON
Please open your text books to Chapter Eight, read the “do-now” and ... do it now. (KIDS open their books)
SEÑORA JACKSON (CONT’D)
I’m going to smoke in the teacher’s lounge. Nobody pull the fire alarm. Winston, you’re in charge. Adios.
The room fills with the buzz of teens left unsupervised. WINSTON stands.
WINSTON (calling after her, delighted) Sure thing, Señora Jackson! (ala Pretty in Pink - he addresses the class)
Morning - welcome to another day of higher education. (the class groans - and then ...) Si alguien necesita ayuda, avíseme.
JOHNNY
Winston. How is it possible to have “win” in your name, but still be such a loser.
GAVIN (ever the sidekick) Yeah.
A spitball hits JOHNNY’s face.
JOHNNY (standing, irate)
Hey! Who did that? (KIDS snicker) Oh, you think that’s funny?
COOPER scoffs, rolling his eyes. He stands up, grabbing his guitar.
JOHNNY (CONT’D) (turning his attention to COOPER) Was it you, Frank Zappa?
COOPER (on his way out) Frank Zappa’s rad.
JOHNNY (irate)
Can it, dingleberry. I’m gonna ask you again. Did-you-throw-a-spitball-at-me?!
COOPER (at the door)
I don’t throw spitballs.
SCARLET
Cooper, where are you going?
COOPER
My family speaks Spanish. If Señora Jackson isn’t here, I don’t really need to be here either.
Hey Sam.
(then to SAM)
SAMANTHA
(shocked by the sight of him)
Cooper. You look just the same.
JOHNNY
Don’t say “hi” to my girlfriend, Van Halen.
COOPER
(blown away by how dumb that is) Again. Not an insult. (on his way out)
See ya later, Sam.
He EXITS.
JOHNNY
If he’s going, I’m going.
GAVIN
Yeah, me too.
ELLA
But he already speaks Spanish.
JOHNNY repeats her words, in mocking gibberish.
JOHNNY
(at the door)
Sam, ditch with me. You can buy me a Big Gulp from the 7-11.
GAVIN
(under his breath, an ‘80’s fist pump) Yes!
SAMANTHA
Uh. That’s ok. I’m gonna do the “do now.”
JOHNNY
More like “do not.”
(then - offering a high five to GAVIN)
Hey-o, up high.
(GAVIN high fives him) Down low.
(GAVIN tries, but JOHNNY disses him with the “fixing his hair” move) Too slow.
With a weird blown kiss and gross laugh, JOHNNY EXITS, GAVIN in tow.
SAMANTHA
(hushed and desperate to ELLA, SCARLET, and CAMELIA)
Guys ... I really need to talk to you.
WINSTON
I was just gonna say the same thing. I could really use some one-on-one time, Camelia.
CAMELIA
Not now, Winston.
ELLA
I can’t believe Johnny didn’t wish you a happy birthday!
SAMANTHA
Johnny’s forgotten my birthday for like thirty years; I’m used to it. (desperate)
Is there a conference room where we can talk?
SCARLET
A “conference room?”
SAMANTHA (urgently)
Now?!?
(re: WINSTON - who is hovering) In private?
WINSTON
Oh, don’t mind me. I can keep secrets.
SAMANTHA
Winston, you gave away her 21st surprise party.
ELLA
We’re 18.
SAMANTHA
I swear to God, we’re 45.
CAMELIA (a realization!)
Ohmigod, are you doing drugs?!
The kids all GASP.
SAMANTHA
No! (then) Wait.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
(considering) Maybe? That would explain things.
SCARLET
(a serious accusation)
Sam. Are you wigging out?!
SAMANTHA
Yes! Yes! I am completely wigging out!
CAMELIA (realizing this is major) OK. Hallway. Now. (the KIDS, who’ve been eavesdropping, make a move to join them - she stops them) Just us.
WINSTON opens the door for them.
As the GIRLS flood out into the hallway, the TEENS all ad-lib:
TEENS (ad-lib)
Do you have a date for the turnabout dance yet? Have you studied for bio? Are you going to the pep rally? See you in the parking lot later. My mom won’t let me. ETC ...
WINSTON (a farewell) M’Ladies.
CAMELIA, ELLA, and SCARLET have pulled SAMANTHA out into the hallway.
SCENE 4 (CONTINUOUS)
4. TALK TO ME (STEVIE NICKS)
MUSIC begins to underscore.
CAMELIA (re: WINSTON) He thinks he’s in love with me.
SAMANTHA
That’s good cuz you marry him.
CAMELIA (shoving her) Shut up! (then) What is going on with you today?
SAMANTHA
You’re my best friends, right?
CAMELIA/SCARLET/ELLA (crossing her heart / slicing her neck) Cross my heart and hope to die.
SAMANTHA
God, I’ve missed you guys. (then)
OK, before I explain what’s going on, I’m just gonna old-school close my eyes and make a wish. So if I disappear, call me in like 30 years.
CAMELIA/SCARLET/ELLA
What?
SAM squeezes her eyes shut and ...
SAMANTHA (desperate)
I wish I could go back to my life!
Nothing happens.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D) (beyond frustrated) Ugh!
CAMELIA pulls SAM to her.
CAMELIA
THERE'S NO SENSE IN DANCING 'ROUND THE SUBJECT A WOUND GETS WORSE WHEN IT'S TREATED WITH NEGLECT
SAMANTHA
I knew wishing wouldn’t work!
CAMELIA
WELL, DON'T TURN NOW THERE'S NOTHING HERE TO FEAR
SAMANTHA
I gotta find my way back to that hotel room.
As CAM sings, SAM starts to go. CAM stops her.
CAMELIA YOU CAN TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA
Camelia!
SCARLET
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
ELLA
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA
Ok ... so ... here’s the thing ... I ...
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET (interrupting)
YOU CAN SET YOUR SECRETS FREE, BABY
SAMANTHA
I’m a middle aged woman trapped in my teenage life.
ELLA
And she’s a Hollywood lawyer trapped in Small Town, USA.
SCARLET
We all have our struggles, Sam.
CAMELIA
Now whatever it is, you can tell us.
As the song picks up, CAMELIA, SCARLET, and ELLA form an old school MTV girl band - ironically, hardly conscious of SAMANTHA as she tries her hardest to talk to them ...
SAMANTHA
Well, what I’m trying to say is ...
CAMELIA (interrupting)
DUSTY WORDS
LYING UNDER CARPETS SELDOM HEARD WELL, MUST YOU KEEP YOUR SECRETS LOCKED INSIDE HIDDEN DEEP FROM VIEW
SAMANTHA
Cami, I think I’ve broken the time/space continuum.
CAMELIA
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA
I need you to believe me.
CAMELIA
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
ELLA AND SCARLET WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, DOWN
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA
I’m trying to!
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET (overboard, vibing with herself) T-T-TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA
Guys, listen to me! I have lived this life already. This isn’t some freak show deja vu. I’m a grown up!
ELLA
Sounds like Peggy Sue is taking her 18th birthday a liiiiitttle too seriously.
SAMANTHA
I can prove it. I can predict the future.
SCARLET
Is this like a Ouija Board situation?
SAMANTHA
Tonight, you’ve planned a party for me. You got us fake IDs and we’re going to Studio Nightclub to hear Cooper’s band.
CAMELIA (to SCARLET) You told her?
SCARLET
I swear, I didn’t!
SAMANTHA (to CAMI)
And next fall, you’ll go to UCLA but I’ll marry Johnny even though you try to talk me out of it.
ELLA
Just because he made you a homemade valentine in kindergarten doesn’t mean he’s a worthy life partner.
SAMANTHA (to CAMI)
And years later, you and I get into this big fight.
Tragic!
SCARLET
SAMANTHA
And you become a high-powered attorney ...
CAMELIA
(getting into the fantasy) How “high-powered?”
SAMANTHA
But eventually you stop talking to me ...
CAMELIA
Never!
SAMANTHA
And I’m stuck doing sales for a toilet company, while Johnny cheats on me and serves me divorce papers on my 45th birthday!
SCARLET
This is a really bleak fantasy, Miss Cleo.
ELLA
Why won’t you just tell us what’s really going on?
SAMANTHA
Are you guys listening to me?! This is some serious “back to the future” bullsh --
The bell rings AND ...
CAMELIA
(overlapping so that she completes the “T” sound with the start of the word “TALK”)
TALK-TALK-TALK TO ME
ELLA
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET
YOU CAN TALK TO ME
SCARLET WHEN YOU’RE DOWN, DOWN
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET
YOU CAN TALK TO ME T-T-TALK TO ME
SAMANTHA (exasperated)
I gotta get back to my real life!
ELLA
You should prob’ly go see Ms. Gross in guidance.
SAMANTHA
I don’t have time!
SCARLET
Maybe make time?
SAMANTHA
I have to get home!
CAMELIA
My mom can give you a ride after school.
SAMANTHA
You don’t get it!
SAMANTHA storms off, unnoticed by her friends who are wrapped up in their song.
CAMELIA
LET THE WALLS BURN DOWN SET YOUR SECRETS FREE
SCARLET
YOU CAN BREAK THEIR BONDS ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SAFE WITH ME
ELLA
YOU CAN LOSE YOUR DOUBT ‘CAUSE YOU’LL FIND NO DANGER HERE
The ENSEMBLE filters in, helping to transform the set to a different HALLWAY.
CAMELIA/ELLA/SCARLET (TEENS)
TALK, TALK, TALK TO ME (YOU CAN TALK TO ME)
WELL, I CAN SEE YOU BABY
(YOU CAN TALK TO ME - I CAN SEE YOU RUNNING) [WELL, I CAN SEE YOU BABY]
(I CAN SEE YOU RUNNING)
TALK TO ME, YEAH
CAMELIA AND TEENS
TALK, TALK, TALK TO ME
(YOU CAN TALK TO ME)
WELL, I CAN SEE YOU BABY
(YOU CAN TALK TO ME - I CAN SEE YOU RUNNING) [WELL, I CAN SEE YOU BABY] (I CAN SEE YOU RUNNING) TALK TO ME, YEAH
(YOU CAN TALK TO ME) WHEN YOU’RE DOWN, DOWN (YOU CAN TALK TO ME) SET YOUR SECRETS FREE (I CAN SEE YOU RUNNING) WELL I CAN SEE YOU BABY (WELL I CAN SEE YOU BABY) (WELL I CAN SEE YOU BABY) YOU CAN TALK TO ME (TALK TALK TALK TO ME)
CAMELIA/ELLA/SCARLET
(noticing SAM has left - they AD LIB) Hey, where’d she go? Maybe she went to the bathroom? C’mon guys, follow me. (Etc).
SCENE 5 (CONTINUOUS)
COOPER
Sam?
Cooper! Hi.
SAMANTHA (surprised)
COOPER
You OK?
Ummm ...
SAM runs through the empty hall. COOPER sees her ... lost amidst the lockers.
SAMANTHA (not at all OK)
COOPER
You going to your locker?
SAMANTHA
I ... don’t know. (finding her locker)
My locker!
COOPER
Do you need help or something?
SAMANTHA (a new thought!)
Are you good at physics? Like black holes or worm holes or ...
COOPER (interrupting)
Not a science guy. (then) I have Battle of the Bands practice ...
SAMANTHA (a gasp, remembering) Battle of the Bands! Senior Year!
COOPER (she’s being weird) Rrrright.
SAMANTHA (nearly to herself) God, I screwed that up.
COOPER (confused) It hasn’t happened yet.
SAMANTHA
I’m supposed to sing with you.
COOPER
You are?
SAMANTHA (a distant memory) Didn’t you ask me to sing with you?
COOPER
Yeah, a few weeks ago, but you said Johnny would go crazy.
SAMANTHA (it’s all coming back) I did. (then) He would.
SAM starts to pace, thinking.
COOPER
I got Debbie Waller to replace you.
SAMANTHA
Debbie Waller! No! She runs a cosmetics pyramid scheme!
COOPER (confused)
We’re just doing a trial period.
SAMANTHA
I have dibs. I’ve built that band one garage rehearsal at a time since the 5th grade.
COOPER
You’re the one who quit.
SAMANTHA
Ugh, this is torture! (another idea!)
Do you know any magicians?
COOPER
Look, don’t put a hex on Debbie or anything, Sam.
SAM works her locker combination.
COOPER (CONT’D) (CONT’D)
I’m sure you can just talk to her. It’s not uncommon for sweet bands to go through a shake up.
SAMANTHA (opening her locker - growing unhinged) Is it uncommon for divorceés to remember their high school locker combinations?!
She pulls out her backpack and slams her locker shut to make her point!
COOPER (concerned) Divorceés?
SAMANTHA
When’s Battle of the Bands?
COOPER
A week from Saturday.
SAMANTHA (nearly to herself)
I don’t even know if I’ll still be here then.
COOPER
Why? Where are you going?
SAMANTHA (nearing hysteria)
Probably nowhere! I’m probably stuck here. (realizing)
Oh my God. What if I’m stuck here?! I wish I(light bulb - a gasp!)
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Wish. My wish! Cooper! That’s it! I need a muffin!
COOPER
What?
SAMANTHA (suddenly desperate)
Do you have a muffin?! And a candle? Maybe some tiny bottles of vodka?!
COOPER
Uh ... no?
SAMANTHA
Maybe I can reverse this!
COOPER
Reverse what?
SAMANTHA
I gotta get myself outta here!
COOPER
Outta where?
SAMANTHA (quickly, as she runs off)
Good luck at Battle of the Bands!
Music begins to underscore.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D) (calling as she goes)
I’ve had a crush on you since the 5th grade and now you’re famous! Bye forever ...
She EXITS leaving COOPER baffled.
5. THE SEARCH IS OVER (SURVIVOR)
HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAYS shift and COOPER exits.
TEEN SAMANTHA runs - desperate to find her way home through these halls - a bit of a hall of mirrors (aka lockers) trying to get out.
As TEEN SAM struggles through the MAZE OF “MIRRORS” suddenly, she spots ADULT SAMANTHA within one of the mirrors, looking back at her.
TEEN SAMANTHA (with a gasp)
There I am! How do I get back to you?!
A connection of nostalgia and urgency between them as:
SCENE 6 (CONTINUOUS)
ADULT SAMANTHA (with urgency)
HOW CAN I CONVINCE YOU WHAT YOU SEE IS REAL? WHO AM I TO BLAME YOU FOR DOUBTING WHAT YOU FEEL?
TEEN SAMANTHA
I WAS ALWAYS REACHING
ADULT SAMANTHA YOU WERE JUST A GIRL I KNEW
TEEN SAMANTHA
I TOOK FOR GRANTED THE FRIEND I HAVE IN YOU
TEEN SAMANTHA/ADULT SAMANTHA I WAS LIVING FOR A DREAM LOVING FOR A MOMENT TAKING ON THE WORLD THAT WAS JUST MY STYLE NOW I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES I CAN SEE FOREVER THE SEARCH IS OVER YOU WERE WITH ME ALL THE WHILE
The SCHOOL BELL rings.
Students pour into the halls. As the “MIRRORS”/LOCKERS shift away, so too does ADULT SAM as TEEN SAM’s FRIENDS present her with a giant birthday cake. Candles ablaze.
CAMI/ELLA/SCARLET
Sa-aaam!
SAM turns and notices them.
TEEN SAMANTHA
That’s not a muffin. I need a muffin!
CAMELIA (duh)
It’s a birthday cake, Sam.
TEEN SAMANTHA
I guess it’s better than nothing.
CAMELIA
Gee thanks. (then)
Well, go ahead. Make a wish.
THIS IS IT. The moment to wish herself BACK to her regular life.
SAM, filled with desperate hope, closes her eyes.
SAMANTHA
This is it. (then) I wish I could go back to my real life!
Eyes closed, TEEN SAM blows out the candles.
Nothing. NOTHING HAPPENS.
SCARLET
You’re not really s’posed to say your birthday wish out loud, ya know?
SAMANTHA
(opening her eyes - frustrated) I’m still here?!
ELLA
Especially when it’s super weird.
SAM grabs the matches and tries to light the candles again.
SAMANTHA
Lemme try again.
CAMELIA
One wish per candle, Sam, or bad luck.
SAM scoffs in disbelief at the irony!
CAMELIA takes the cake from SAM as she and the TEENS pour off stage.
CAMELIA (CONT’D)
Meet outside by the senior tree. I’ll save you the biggest slice.
They all EXIT, leaving TEEN SAM alone once more.
She finds a remaining “MIRROR”/ LOCKER where ADULT SAM stares back at her again. They share a moment.
TEEN SAMANTHA/ADULT SAMANTHA (OFF STAGE ENSEMBLE)
I WAS LIVING FOR A DREAM (OOO) LOVING FOR A MOMENT (AH) TAKING ON THE WORLD (OOO) THAT WAS JUST MY STYLE (AH)
NOW I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES (AH)
I CAN SEE FOREVER (AH) THE SEARCH IS OVER YOU WERE WITH ME ALL THE WHILE
COOPER takes over vocals as the set shifts ...
SCENE 7 (CONTINUOUS/AFTER SCHOOL)
COOPER’s GARAGE comes into focus. COOPER’s at the mic.
COOPER
NOW THE MILES STRETCH OUT BEHIND ME LOVES THAT I HAVE LOST BROKEN HEARTS LIE VICTIMS OF THE GAME
As he sings, ADULT SAMANTHA disappears and TEEN SAM continues to search for a way back to her reality.
Now in COOPER’S GARAGE, COOPER (guitar), DUCKIE (drums), HOBBS (keys), and DEBBIE (backup) behind him.
DEBBIE takes over the vocals as SAMANTHA ENTERS, bewildered, unintentionally arriving at COOPER’S GARAGE.
DEBBIE (super emo/borderline goth) THEN GOOD LUCK IT FIN’LY STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNIN’ FROM THE BLUE
COOPER/DEBBIE EVERY HIGHWAY IS LEADIN’ ME BACK TO YOU
COOPER notices SAM and signals the band to stop. They do ... a record scratch moment.
SAMANTHA
(a bit dazed ...)
You sound ... great (?), Debbie.
DEBBIE
Thanks. I’ve been listening to a lot of Bad Religion. What are you doing here?
SAMANTHA (... and confused)
You mean here in 1989 or here in Cooper’s garage.
DEBBIE
Whoa. Meta.
SAMANTHA
I’ve been looking for a portal back to reality.
DEBBIE
Huh. I never pegged you as a new-age chick.
SAMANTHA
I wound up here. Sense memory, I guess. This is where I always go after school.
COOPER
Used to go.
SAMANTHA (dejected)
Right. Sorry.
COOPER
She starts to walk away.
Wait - you don’t have to leave.
DEBBIE
She doesn’t?
COOPER
This is your band, Sam.
SAMANTHA
You’d really let me back in the band?
DEBBIE
But I’m the lead lady singer now. I already put it on my college application activities list.
COOPER
I told you this was just a trial run, Debbie.
DUCKIE
Sam and Cooper started this band for our blockparty talent show when we were like 10.
HOBBS
Lotta history, dude.
SAMANTHA (realizing)
I never shoulda left.
COOPER/DUCKIE/HOBBS
She wants her spot back in the band, Debbie. A beat.
DEBBIE
May I have some time to consider?
COOPER
How long do you need?
DEBBIE (she grabs a rad skateboard)
Long enough to circle the block a coupla times.
HOBBS
Seems fair.
Debbie wheels herself off ...
SAMANTHA (soaking in the space)
God, I’ve missed this garage.
COOPER
Lucky for you, garages don’t hold grudges.
SAMANTHA
Do guitar players?
COOPER
Some. But most believe in second chances.
SAMANTHA
I’m sorry; I never should’ve let Johnny talk me into quitting(light bulb - gasp!)
Second chances?! What if ... what if I don’t need a muffin or a magician or a physicist?!
COOPER
Why would you need any of those things?
SAMANTHA
(on her own track)
What if my wish already came true and I’m in the middle of a do-over?!
COOPER
Like in four-square?
HOBBS
Did your ball bounce out of bounds?
DUCKIE
Did you forget to call “No Black Magic?”
SAMANTHA
(nearly laughing)
Kind of! Yes, I forgot to call no black magic! I forgot to call ... anything!
HOBBS (hammering home the four square metaphor)
So, now you’re stuck in a quadrant and you’ll never be King?!
SAMANTHA
Exactly! I never spoke up for myself. I just ... let high school happen to me.
DUCKIE
Oh, I get it. You need a redo!
HOBBS
Mr. Kessing let me re-do my algebra test - aced it!
SAMANTHA
(with newfound resolve)
Cooper. I think I might actually have to be in your band again.
COOPER
Great. I didn’t want you to quit to begin with. (then)
Hey, um, did you mean what you said earlier? About how you felt about me since fifth grade?
ELLA, SCARLET, CAMELIA and WINSTON ENTER (maybe on roller skates/ skateboards).
CAMELIA
(coming to a stop)
Samantha? You’re back in Cooper’s garage band?
WINSTON
Garage band. That would be a great name for a computer software program that allows you to record music on multiple tracks.
SCARLET
Are you practicing for Studio Nightclub tonight?
ELLA (whispering)
That’s supposed to be her birthday surprise.
CAMELIA
She knows, you guys. She’s IN the band!
ELLA
Does Johnny know about this?
SAMANTHA
Johnny doesn’t need to know everything, OK?
SCARLET
Evolving! I like it.
CAMELIA
I thought we were studying for finals.
ELLA
We’re on our way to your house.
SCARLET
Winston made us study guides.
SAMANTHA
Finals?!
CAMELIA
Were you abducted by aliens or something?
SAMANTHA
I’m open to all theories.
ELLA
Ohmigod, can we be your test audience?
SCARLET
Ohmigod, yes! I was born to be a groupie.
SAMANTHA
I haven’t rehearsed in like 28 years.
SCARLET
My mother says hyperbole is unbecoming.
WINSTON
So, does this mean we’re not studying? (to CAMELIA)
Cuz, I was looking forward to sharing text books and smelling your hair.
CAMELIA
Winston. We’ve discussed private vs. public.
WINSTON
Sorry, my filter is busted but also your hair smells like coconuts.
SAMANTHA
If I’m not having a nervous breakdown then I definitely need to study. I don’t even remember what classes I’m in.
WINSTON
I’ll help you, Samantha. Any friend of Camelia’s is a friend-in-law to me.
CAMELIA
We’re not married!
WINSTON (an eternal optimist) Yet.
COOPER (gaining control)
OK - one practice tune and then finals prep?
DUCKIE (anxious)
We’re gonna sing? Now?
HOBBS
I thought you had your stage fright under control, Duckie.
DUCKIE
That was before people showed up.
ELLA
As president of the fan club of - what’s the name of your band?
HOBBS
Rubber. Get it? Rubber Band.
ELLA
That’s rad.
HOBBS (stars in his eyes)
Thank you, Ella.
ELLA (stars in her eyes)
You’re welcome, Hobbs. (then)
As president of Rubber Band’s fan club, I sayYES! Rock out first, study second.
COOPER (to SAM)
One song?
SAMANTHA
(resigned - and maybe a little excited)
What if Debbie comes back?
COOPER
She’s into her skateboard. We’ve got time.
SAMANTHA
What if I don’t remember?
COOPER
You’ll remember. (then - prompting ...) Duckie ... Hobbs ...
They start to play.
6. EVEN THE NIGHTS ARE BETTER (AIR SUPPLY)
SAMANTHA (she does remember) I WAS THE LONELY ONE WONDERING WHAT WENT WRONG WHY LOVE HAD GONE AND LEFT ME LONELY
As SAM sings, her focus shifts more and more towards COOPER who plays guitar.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D) YOU DID MORE THAN END A BROKEN HEART ‘CAUSE NOW YOU’VE MADE A FIRE START
SAMANTHA AND COOPER (DUCKIE/HOBBS)
AND I, I CAN SEE THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY I NEVER DREAMED THERE’D BE SOMEONE TO HOLD ME UNTIL YOU TOLD ME
AND NOW THAT I FOUND YOU EVEN THE NIGHTS ARE BETTER (AH) NOW THAT WE’RE HERE TOGETHER (AH) EVEN THE NIGHTS ARE BETTER SINCE I FOUND YOU
DUCKIE AND HOBBS
OH, WHOA, WHOA EVEN THE DAYS ARE BRIGHTER
SAMANTHA AND COOPER WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE’S BESIDE YA
SAMANTHA
EVEN THE NIGHTS ARE BETTER SINCE I FOUND YOU ...
Just as SAM is sounding particularly amazing, DEBBIE wheels back on. They stop playing. Another record scratch moment.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Debbie. Sorry. Didn’t mean to jump the gun.
DEBBIE
Yeah, that was premature.
ELLA
Ohmigod, that was psycho rad, Sam!
SCARLET
Duckie, you’re amazing.
DUCKIE
(nothing better has ever happened to him) I am?
CAMELIA
Samantha! That was like next level singing!
SAMANTHA (relishing the moment) That felt so good.
DEBBIE
Why did you quit in the first place?
SAMANTHA
That’s a question I’m currently exploring with myself.
CAMELIA
Well, as your best friend and future attorney, you are booked for tonight at Studio Nightclub.
ELLA
Ohmigod, Sam! Your first real gig!
SAMANTHA
Hang on ... (then) Debbie?
They all look to DEBBIE. A breath.
DEBBIE
Why do you want this so bad, Samantha? A breath. A realization.
SAMANTHA
Nobody’s ever asked me that before. What I want.
DEBBIE
Well ... I’m asking now.
SAMANTHA
(a breath and then)
I think singing might be my destiny and if I ignore the impulse I’m pretty sure my life takes a sharp turn off track.
DEBBIE Intense.
SAMANTHA
That, or I might be in a coma.
DEBBIE
Copy. And what’s in it for me?
SAMANTHA
You ... can ... sing back up? Maintain your “singer in a band” persona?
DEBBIE
Can we have matching t-shirts that we all wear to school on the same day?
SCARLET
I’ll design them.
DEBBIE (a decision)
How can society advance if women don’t support each other’s dreams?
CAMELIA, ELLA, and SCARLET offer snaps.
CAMELIA
Snaps to that, girlfriend.
SAMANTHA (hugging her)
Thank you, Debbie. (then)
I’m sorry I misjudged you for working in multilevel marketing. If I ever regain consciousness, I think we should be friends.
DEBBIE (baffled) What?
CAMELIA (extending a hand to COOPER, all business) My client requires 25% of box office sales plus 10% for her representation. She needs Dr. Pepper and green M&Ms in her dressing room.
SAMANTHA
Oh, I don’t need ...
CAMELIA (overlapping/interrupting) And four front row tickets for me and my staff.
ELLA and SCARLET high five.
CAMELIA (CONT’D)
Do we have a deal Mr. Roy?
COOPER
You strike a hard bargain, Ms. Shacklebaum. (then - shaking her hand) I accept. (then - extending his hand to SAM) Sam?
Their handshake evolves into an elaborate, choreographed, quirky shake unique to them - their pals ad-lib “Whoa, Okayyyy, Cool,” etc.
COOPER (CONT’D) I thought you forgot.
SAMANTHA (flooded with nostalgia) I had.
7. THE LOCO MOTION (KYLIE MINOGUE)
CAMELIA
(in awe of her post-handshake hand)
This is my first real deal! The adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I feel elated! (a build)
I feel alive! (a build!!!)
I feel like ... dancing! Sam - you’re my first client!
SAMANTHA
Oh, Cami, I don’t think I need a lawyer -
CAMELIA
(pulling SAM with her - and calling back to the band)
Show’s at eight - I’ll have her there by 7:30.
As the music kicks in, CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, and WINSTON (perhaps on roller skates/skateboards) move through the song as the SET shifts from COOPER’s garage to SAMANTHA’s bedroom.
CAMELIA (ELLA/SCARLET/WINSTON) (CONT’D) (interrupting)
EV’RYBODY’S DOIN’ A BRAND NEW DANCE NOW
ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON COME ON, BABY, DO THE LOCOMOTION
CAMELIA
I KNOW YOU’LL GET TO LIKE IT IF YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE NOW
ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON COME ON, BABY, DO THE LOCOMOTION
The ENSEMBLE filters in, helping to transition the set.
CAMELIA (ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON, ENSEMBLE)
MY LITTLE BABY SISTER CAN DO IT WITH EASE (OOO WAH OOO) IT’S EASIER THAN LEARNIN’ YOUR ABCS (OOO WAH OOO) SO
CAMELIA, ELLA, SCARLET, & WINSTON COME ON, COME ON DO THE LOCOMOTION
CAMELIA
WITH ME YOU GOTTA SWING YOUR HIPS NOW COME ON, BABY
CAMELIA, ELLA, AND SCARLET JUMP UP JUMP BACK
CAMELIA
OH, WELL I THINK YOU GOT THE KNACK
WINSTON
DO THE LO DO THE LO DO THE LOCO - LOCOMOTION
ENSEMBLE
COME ON, BABY DO THE LOCOMOTION
ELLA AND SCARLET
DO THE LO DO THE LO DO THE LOCO - LOCOMOTION
ENSEMBLE
COME ON, BABY DO THE LOCOMOTION
CAMELIA (ALL)
DO IT NICE AND EASY NOW, DON’T LOSE CONTROL (OOO WAH OOO)
A LITTLE BIT OF RHYTHM AND A LOT OF SOUL (OOO WAH OOO) SO
ALL COME ON, COME ON DO THE LOCOMOTION COME ON, COME ON DO THE LOCOMOTION COME ON, COME ON DO THE LOCOMOTION
WITH ME WHOA WHOA WHOA
SCENE 8 (CONTINUOUS)
As the song buttons, the ENSEMBLE disperses, and SAMANTHA, ELLA, SCARLET, CAMELIA, and WINSTON arrive in SAMANTHA’s BEDROOM.
CAMELIA
SCARLET
SCARLET begins to piece together an outfit for SAM from her closet. SAM stares at herself in her mirror, ADULT SAM staring back at her.
You have to look Pat-Benatar-hot tonight. Where do you keep your leather?
SAMANTHA
What?
SCARLET
Pants - halter tops - leg warmers?
SAMANTHA
I’m not gonna make it through the ‘80s twice.
With utter agreement, ADULT SAM makes her way off as the scene continues ...
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Winston, do you know any Harry Potter abracadabra stuff?
WINSTON
Who’s Harry Potter?
SAMANTHA
Never mind! I remember. (moving toward the door) Maybe I need a fire place so I can apparate.
WINSTON stops her.
WINSTON
People don’t operate in fireplaces, Sam. (then, spreading out books and flashcards)
OK - I’ve organized our study space into areas. Calculus, World History, Biology, Spanish, and English Lit. I thought we could start with a trivia game I’ve prepared about the progression of classical civilizations and then move on to flash cards on limits and derivatives of functions.
SAMANTHA
You’ve really always been like this.
WINSTON (ala Say Anything)
Just trying to leave as many doors open as possible, ya know.
WINSTON (CONT’D)
Cuz, I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career.
SAMANTHA
Don’t worry. You’re gonna invent apps.
WINSTON
Like spanakopita?
CAMELIA interrupts ...
CAMELIA
(holding up a letter)
Um?! An acceptance letter to Boston Conservatory of Music! Sam, congratulations!
SAMANTHA (remembering)
Oh - right. (she takes it out of CAMELIA’s handsreading it)
I forgot about this.
CAMELIA
How could you forget about your literal dream?!
ELLA
Ohmigod you’re gonna be in Boston too?!
WINSTON
If she doesn’t fail her finals.
CAMELIA
Who else is gonna be in Boston?
ELLA
I am. Studying psychology at Harvard. I got in early admissions.
CAM/SCAR/WINS
What?!
ELLA
I hide my intellect to make it easier to thrive within our patriarchal society, but like yeah(nearly squeaking) I’ll be in Boston too!
CAMELIA
Sam, you’re going to Boston?
SAMANTHA
No.
Why not?
CAMELIA
SAMANTHA
Cuz ... I don’t go to Boston.
ELLA
Not with an attitude like that you don’t. “Change your mind, change your outcome.” (then casually) Phil Donahue.
CAMELIA
(re: the return postcard) You gotta send this in to accept your spot, ya know?
SAMANTHA
But college is a fortune and Johnny said ...
WINSTON (interrupting)
Never let finances get in the way of dreams, Sam. I can help you navigate federal and state loan applications, easy breezy.
SCARLET
(interrupting - holding up an outfit)
Too Joan Jett, right?
SAM’S MOM
Sam?
At this, SAM’S MOM, opens the door. Her bangs are impossibly higher and she wears a bedazzled outfit.
(noticing everyone)
Oh, hi guys! Didn’t hear you come in. I get so focused when I’m using my bedazzler. Ya need snacks? I got Hi-C and Hot Pockets in the kitchen.
ALL (adlib)
No thanks, Mrs. Craig, I’m good, etc.
SAMANTHA
Mom!
WINSTON
No thanks, Mrs. Craig. No time for distractions.
SAM runs to her and hugs her.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D) (CONT’D)
I was too shocked earlier to really notice you.
SAM’S MOM (weirded out)
OK?
SAMANTHA (an idea!)
You should go to art school!
SAM’S MOM
What?
SAMANTHA
Winston can help you navigate the loans.
WINSTON
At your service, Mrs. Craig.
SAMANTHA
You’re always saying you missed your calling! 20 years from now you’re gonna fill my basement with crafts. Go! Get your MFA! Be an artist!
SAM’S MOM
Sam, what’s gotten into you?
SAM hugs her again.
SAMANTHA
I see you now. Homemade cookies and clean laundry in my drawers ... go to Grad School after I graduate, Mom. You deserve it.
SAM’S MOM
You’ve been watching too much Geraldo.
SAMANTHA
I mean it, Mom. Your ship hasn’t sailed.
SAM’S MOM (flustered)
OK, well, food for thought, I guess. (about to go)
Oh, Johnny called. He said to be ready at six.
SAMANTHA
Be ready for what?
CAMELIA
Maybe he wants to take you out for your birthday.
SAM’S MOM
Don’t be silly, Camelia, it’s not Sam’s birthday.
(then)
Say no to drugs, kids. Bye!
She EXITS.
CAMELIA
Your mom doesn’t know it’s your birthday?
SAMANTHA
And no amount of therapy will ever lessen the sting.
CAMELIA
What are you gonna do? Johnny is coming to pick you up but you have a gig!
WINSTON
I would argue that there’s an even more important issue at hand.
SAMANTHA
Time travel?
SCARLET
Fashion?
Finals!
WINSTON
WINSTON (CONT’D) (taking charge - with urgency) Sam, if you don’t pass your finals, they could rescind your acceptance at college, not to mention the fact that Principal Kanefsky won’t let you participate in Battle of the Bands. (then)
Now, no more dilly-dallying!
CRACK THAT WHIP
WINSTON passes out study guides, flash cards, etc. He reveals a portable chalk board from SAM’s closet, covered in facts. The kids get busy in a rhythmic, choreographed study session.
WINSTON (CONT’D)
GIVE THE PAST A SLIP STEP ON A CRACK
CAMELIA/SCARLET/ELLA
Ew! What?
WINSTON BREAK YOUR MAMA'S BACK
8. WHIP IT (DEVO) / MATERIAL GIRL (MADONNA)
SCARLET/ELLA/CAMELIA
Rude. Winston!
WINSTON
WHEN A PROBLEM COMES ALONG YOU MUST WHIP IT BEFORE THE CREAM SITS OUT TOO LONG YOU MUST WHIP IT WHEN SOMETHING'S GOING WRONG YOU MUST WHIP IT (spoken in tempo) NOW WHIP IT INTO SHAPE
WINSTON has rolled out a globe and lab skeleton from like ... nowhere?
CAMELIA
You brought props?
WINSTON (carrying on regardless) SHAPE IT UP GET STRAIGHT GO FORWARD ... MOVE AHEAD TRY TO DETECT IT IT’S NOT TOO LATE
The DOORBELL rings interrupting.
The GIRLS GASP.
The MUSIC STOPS but WINSTON keeps going, rather oblivious.
WINSTON (CONT’D) TO WHIP IT
SAM/CAMELIA/ELLA/SCARLET
It’s Johnny!
WINSTON WHIP IT GOOD
SAMANTHA What do I do?!
CAMELIA Hide!
CAMELIA starts to hide SAMANTHA in the closet.
WINSTON
Guess we’re taking a little study break, then?
ELLA
You’re not really s’posed to date someone you have to hide from, Sam.
SAMANTHA
Well, it’s not like I can break up with him.
Why not?!
CAMELIA
WINSTON
He’s a pretty major scumbag, Samantha.
ELLA
Clearly narcissistic with a borderline personality disorder.
SAMANTHA
Why haven’t you ever said anything?
SCARLET
It’s not cool to rail on someone else’s boyfriend, ya know?
CAMELIA
Plus we figured eventually, you’d figure it out.
SAMANTHA
But I didn’t! I don’t! I never do!
ELLA
Don’t beat yourself up, Sam. (presentational)
“From error to error, one discovers the entire truth.” (then casually) Freud.
SCARLET
Cut yourself some slack, Sam. I mean, it’s not like you’re gonna marry the guy.
Before SAM can react, JOHNNY ENTERS, dressed for basketball, spinning a ball on his finger. SCARLET slams the closet door on SAM, closing her in.
JOHNNY
What’s up, dipsticks? Where’s my girl?
CAMELIA
Sorry, Johnny, you just missed her.
JOHNNY
What d’you mean? Where’d she go?
ELLA (feigning irritation)
That’s what we’d like to know.
JOHNNY
You don’t know where she went?
SCARLET
Weird, right?
JOHNNY (a thought)
She prob’ly left early to get court side seats for my game.
CAMELIA
Good thinking. I bet you’re right.
JOHNNY (impressed with himself)
Good looking and smart. Daaaang! How do the rest of you survive?! (then noticing WINSTON) Wait? You’re here?
WINSTON
Astute observation.
JOHNNY
But there are girls here.
WINSTON (with pride) Indeed.
JOHNNY
Are you doing their homework?
WINSTON (defensive) No.
JOHNNY No?
WINSTON
I am helping with their homework.
JOHNNY
And it allll makes sense. (then) Sucks to be you. (then with a spin of his ball) See ya suckers.
JOHNNY EXITS. SAMANTHA EXITS the closet.
SAMANTHA
He’s been this awful the whole time?
WINSTON
No. He used to be nice. His dad used to take us bowling on Tuesday nights.
ELLA
Yeah, once we planted watermelon seeds together in my grandma’s back yard.
SCARLET
I tie-dyed him a bandana in 4th grade that he wore for a whole year.
SAMANTHA
Yeah. Right. He wasn’t always this way.
WINSTON
Ever since his father went to prison for embezzlement, he’s really taken a turn for the jerk.
ELLA
Sudden instability coupled with inherent insecurity can really do that to a guy.
SAMANTHA (realizing)
But if I break up with him now, that will change the entire trajectory of my life.
CAMELIA
Way to give one boy all the power, Sam.
SCARLET
(holding up an outfit, changing the vibe)
In an outfit like this - GOD, feel this faux silk poly-blend ...
(MATERIAL GIRL kicks in ...) ... your life can be whatever you want it to be. But as far as I’m concerned, unless some guy is investing in my fashion empire, boys have nothing to do with it.
SCARLET (CONT’D)
SOME BOYS KISS ME SOME BOYS HUG ME I THINK THEY’RE OK
WINSTON (overlapping)
I believe we’ve veered slightly off topic.
SCARLET
IF THEY DON’T GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT I JUST WALK AWAY
WINSTON (reasserting himself) WHIP IT GOOD!
CAMELIA
Not now, Winston!
SCARLET
THEY CAN BEG AND THEY CAN PLEAD BUT THEY CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT
ELLA AND CAMELIA THAT’S RIGHT!
SCARLET
‘CAUSE THE BOY WITH THE COLD HARD CASH IS ALWAYS MISTER RIGHT
SAMANTHA’s bedroom reveals itself to be a playground of hidden props supporting both WINSTON (school supplies) and SCARLET (fashion). For example, window shades are pulled down to reveal chalk boards and world maps while racks of couture clothing spill out of SAM’s closet - and all the while the songs compete.
SCARLET, ELLA, AND CAMELIA
‘CAUSE WE ARE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
WINSTON IT’S NOT TOO LATE
SCARLET
SOME BOYS ROMANCE SOME BOYS SLOW DANCE THAT’S ALRIGHT WITH ME
ELLA
IF THEY CAN’T RAISE MY INT’REST THEN I HAVE TO LET THEM BE
CAMELIA
SOME BOYS TRY AND SOME BOYS LIE BUT I DON’T LET THEM PLAY
ELLA AND SCARLET NO WAY!
SCARLET
ONLY BOYS WHO SAVE THEIR PENNIES MAKE MY RAINY DAY
SCARLET, ELLA, AND CAMELIA ‘CAUSE THEY ARE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
WINSTON WHIP IT GOOD!
SCARLET, ELLA, AND CAMELIA ‘CAUSE THEY ARE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
ELLA AND CAMELIA LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
SCARLET
MATERIAL
ELLA AND CAMELIA LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
SCARLET
MATERIAL
ELLA AND CAMELIA AND ENSEMBLE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
SCARLET
MATERIAL
ELLA AND CAMELIA AND ENSEMBLE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD
Throughout the above SAM manages to both study with WINSTON and be styled by SCARLET.
The SET and PROPS shift to STUDIO NIGHTCLUB (for example, the globe becomes a disco ball, etc.) a classic ‘80s club - neon lights, big hair.
CLUB SOUNDS mingle with voiceover, of club goers as they ENTER the club ...
ALL
(voiceover - ad lib)
Oooh, I love this song. Oh hi, guys, you look great. ID please. Do you guys wanna a drink? ETC.
MATERIAL GIRL takes on a production number vibe. The ENSEMBLE joins in while ...
SCENE 9 (LATER THAT NIGHT - CONTINUOUS)
They DANCE as they prep SAM for her debut.
CLUB SINGER BOYS MAY COME AND BOYS MAY GO AND THAT’S ALRIGHT, YOU SEE EXPERIENCE HAS MADE ME RICH AND NOW THEY’RE AFTER ME
CLUB SINGER, SCARLET, SAMANTHA, ELLA, CAMELIA ‘CAUSE EVERYBODY’S
SCARLET, SAMANTHA, ELLA, CAMELIA, AND ENSEMBLE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
CLUB SINGER YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE ALL LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
WINSTON WE’VE STILL GOTTA WHIP IT
SCARLET, SAMANTHA, ELLA, CAMELIA, AND FEMALE ENSEMBLE IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
WINSTON, MALE ENSEMBLE IN TO SHAPE SHAPE IT UP
SCARLET, SAMANTHA, ELLA, CAMELIA, AND FEMALE ENSEMBLE (CONT’D)
YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE LIVING IN A MATERIAL WORLD AND I AM A MATERIAL GIRL
ALL
TO WHIP IT GOOD!
WINSTON, MALE ENSEMBLE (CONT’D) GET STRAIGHT GO FORWARD MOVE AHEAD IT’S NOT TOO LATE
As the song ends, TEEN SAM finds herself in the wings of the nightclub stage with COOPER and the BAND, looking incredible.
COOPER (blown away by SAM’s “look”)
Wow. You look ...
SAMANTHA (self conscious)
Too much? Scarlet sometimes thinks she’s Betsy Johnson.
COOPER
You look incredible.
SAMANTHA
Thanks. I feel like - myself.
COOPER
You excited?
SAMANTHA
Totally. If I don’t wake up or suddenly disappear, it’s gonna be epic.
Just then, there’s a kerfuffle as WINSTON, ELLA, SCARLET, and CAMELIA try to prevent JOHNNY (in his b-ball uniform) and GAVIN (also in uniform) from making their way backstage. We hear ...
JOHNNY
Move it! Gavin’s punk sister Lydia said she saw Samantha here.
GAVIN
Lydia never lies.
CAMELIA
Well, maybe Lydia saw someone who looks like Sam.
ELLA
Yeah, cuz she’s definitely not here.
SCARLET
Yeah, and she’s definitely not singing with Cooper’s band.
JOHNNY
What? She’s singing in Cooper’s band?
ELLA (exasperated) Scarlet.
SCARLET
Not all of us are going to Harvard, Ella.
CAMELIA
(regaining control of the situation) It doesn’t matter - you can’t come back here. You’re not on the list.
JOHNNY
Oh, and you are?
JOHNNY and GAVIN try to push their way through as CAMELIA, SCARLET, ELLA, and WINSTON try to block them.
CAMELIA
Yes, well, I’m her lawyer.
SCARLET
I’m her stylist.
ELLA
I’m her therapist.
WINSTON
And I’m tech support.
Their struggle has led them straight to SAM, COOPER, DUCKIE and HOBBS.
JOHNNY (pushing through)
Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure “boyfriend” is on the list. So move!
He successfully breaks through.
SAMANTHA
Johnny? I thought you had a game tonight.
JOHNNY
What are you wearing?!?
SAMANTHA
(confidence lost)
Oh. Um ...
SCARLET
(getting super defensive)
Do you have a problem with her outfit?!
JOHNNY
I have a problem that I had a game tonight and we lost.
COOPER
Well, whose fault is that?
GAVIN
His for missing that three pointer at the buzzer.
JOHNNY
Gavin! (to SAM)
It was your fault. For denying me the presence of my lucky charm.
SAMANTHA
I’m not that lucky, Johnny.
JOHNNY
Ha! You can say that again! (then)
All I know is that you weren’t there tonight and we lost. And where were you?! Huh?! At some podunk-dweeb-filled-music-place? Singing with a bunch of tone-deaf tools pretending they’re Pavarōtti?
COOPER
Do you just not know anything about music?
CAMELIA
She’s not tone-deaf, Johnny. She’s really good.
JOHNNY mock repeats “she’s really good.”
JOHNNY (snapping his fingers authoritatively)
Let’s go. We’re leaving and you’re changing into normal clothes. Now.
Just then the CLUB STAGE MANAGER (ENSEMBLE MAN) pokes his head in.
STAGE MANAGER
Rubber Band. Places please.
JOHNNY
Rubber Band? Like the office supply?
DUCKIE
It represents the elasticity of music.
SCARLET I love that, Duckie.
DUCKIE
Thank you, Scarlet. They blush.
JOHNNY
Samantha, I said we’re leaving.
SAMANTHA (conflicted)
Johnny ... I ...
STAGE MANAGER (interrupting)
She can’t leave. She’s on in two.
SAMANTHA
Yeah. Right. (a deeper realization) I can’t leave.
JOHNNY
Uh, I say you can leave and you’re leaving.
SAMANTHA
Yeah, I heard you, Johnny. But ... (a moment of bravery) I don’t want to go.
JOHNNY (irate) What?
SAMANTHA (to the BAND)
C’mon guys. You heard him - places.
JOHNNY
Samantha!
They push past a disgruntled, muttering JOHNNY, to take their position on stage.
JOHNNY (CONT’D) (still trying to gain control) Samantha!
Loud applause as SAM, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, and HOBBS appear in position on stage. WINSTON, ELLA, SCARLET, CAMELIA, JOHNNY, GAVIN (and OTHERS) fill out the audience.
SAMANTHA approaches the microphone. At first tentative ...
SAMANTHA
Good ... Good Evening ...
A moment of uncomfortable microphone feedback ...
Behind her, unseen by the rest, in a SPECIAL LIGHT, ADULT SAM appears.
ADULT SAMANTHA
You got this.
TEEN SAM inhales with renewed confidence.
TEEN SAMANTHA
Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen! We are ... The Rubber Band!
The CROWD hoots and cheers! ADULT SAM moves off to the sideobserving. She nods them in.
9. TOGETHER FOREVER (RICK ASTLEY)
SAMANTHA
IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU NEED ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY YOU KNOW YOU SATISFY EVERYTHING IN ME WE SHOULDN'T WASTE A SINGLE DAY
SO DON'T STOP ME FALLING IT'S DESTINY CALLING A POWER I JUST CAN'T DENY
COOPER
IT'S NEVER CHANGING CAN'T YOU HEAR ME, I'M SAYING I WANT YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
SAMANTHA AND COOPER TOGETHER FOREVER AND NEVER TO PART TOGETHER FOREVER WE TWO AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU
DEBBIE (too goth) IF THEY EVER GET YOU DOWN THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING I CAN DO
HOBBS AND DUCKIE
BECAUSE I WOULDN'T EVER WANNA SEE YOU FROWN I'LL ALWAYS DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU
SAMANTHA AND COOPER SO DON'T STOP ME FALLING IT'S DESTINY CALLING A POWER I JUST CAN'T DENY IT'S NEVER CHANGING CAN'T YOU HEAR ME, I'M SAYING I WANT YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE HOBBS, AND ENSEMBLE TOGETHER FOREVER AND NEVER TO PART
SAMANTHA AND COOPER TOGETHER FOREVER WE TWO
SAMANTHA, COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, AND ENSEMBLE AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH // YOU
On the word “YOU” SAMANTHA and COOPER kiss. The crowd goes crazy.
JOHNNY, having seen enough, storms out in a huff, knocking over people as he storms off.
COOPER (dumbfounded) What are you doing?
SAMANTHA
I’m rewriting history.
They kiss again.
ADULT SAM registers the moment.
ALL (EXCEPT COOPER AND SAMANTHA WHO ARE TOO BUSY KISSING!) TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU
MAGIC. A bit of that “electrical storm” vibe. Perhaps this is the moment when all has righted itself in the world! How will we know?! We’ll have to wait for ACT 2!
END OF ACT 1.
ACT TWO
SCENE 10 (A NEW DAY - ON REPEAT - UNTIL TODAY, ONE WEEK LATER)
LIGHTS rise on SAMANTHA’S TEENAGE BEDROOM.
It’s a NEW DAY. (On repeat).
10. ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME (NAKED EYES)
Strewn across SAM’s room are FORTUNE TELLING TOOLS: a OUIJA BOARD, A MAGIC-8 BALL, TAROT CARDS, AN ORIGAMI FORTUNE TELLER, A CRYSTAL BALL, A CAULDRON, etc.
SAMANTHA’s alarm clock (which is the opening chords of Always Something There To Remind Me) is going off.
ADULT SAM shuts off the alarm as the music starts.
The LED Message Board reads: DEC 8
ADULT SAMANTHA (OFFSTAGE ENSEMBLE)
(pulling back the covers on TEEN SAM) I WALK ALONG THE CITY STREETS YOU USED TO WALK ALONG WITH ME (getting SAM out of bed) AND EVERY STEP I TAKE REMINDS ME OF JUST HOW WE USED TO BE (getting SAM dressed) OH, HOW CAN I FORGET YOU GIRL?
TEEN SAMANTHA (exasperated to find herself still HERE) AH
ADULT SAMANTHA WHEN THERE IS
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAMANTHA
I’m still here?!
ADULT SAMANTHA ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAM gets back in bed. ALARM goes off again. Another NEW DAY. ADULT SAM shuts off the alarm, pulling the covers back once more.
TEEN SAMANTHA
But I joined the band! I kissed the boy!
ADULT SAMANTHA
Well, that must not be enough!
The LED Message Board reads: DEC 10.
ADULT SAMANTHA (CONT’D) WHEN SHADOWS FALL I PASS THE SMALL CAFE WHERE WE WOULD DANCE AT NIGHT OH, HOW CAN I
TEEN SAMANTHA (exasperated)
AH
ADULT SAMANTHA FORGET YOU GIRL?
(getting her out of bed) WHEN THERE IS
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAM is back in bed. ALARM goes off again. A NEW DAY.
TEEN SAMANTHA
Still?! I thought I’d cracked the code! What else I’m s’posed to do?
ADULT SAMANTHA
I WAS BORN TO LOVE YOU AND I WILL NEVER BE FREE YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME WHOA OH OH OH
TEEN SAMANTHA (reading the Magic 8 ball message) Outlook hazy?!
The LED Message Board reads: DEC 11.
ALARM goes off again. ADULT SAM shuts it off again, pulling back the covers.
ADULT SAMANTHA
THERE IS
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAMANTHA
(re: the Magic 8 Ball message) I don’t wanna “try again!”
Throughout the following - TEEN SAM gets in and out of bed on repeat - perhaps engaging with different fortune telling tools with each NEW DAY.
ADULT SAMANTHA
‘CAUSE THERE IS
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAMANTHA
Michael J. Fox, I need your Delorian!
A NEW DAY The LED Message Board reads: DEC 12.
ADULT SAMANTHA
YEAH THERE IS
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAMANTHA
David Copperfield, where are you now?
A NEW DAY The LED Message Board reads: DEC 13.
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
TEEN SAMANTHA
I can’t keep living in the past!
MALE ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
A NEW DAY The LED Message Board reads: DEC 14.
ADULT SAMANTHA AND ENSEMBLE ‘CAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
MALE ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
A NEW DAY The LED Message Board reads: DEC 15.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
ADULT SAMANTHA
ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME
ENSEMBLE
ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE
By the end of the song, CAMELIA, ELLA, and SCARLET now stand at SAM’s bed. ADULT SAM observes through the bedroom mirror.
CAMELIA
Samantha! Get up! Our final final is in like 20 minutes.
SCARLET
We can’t be late or Señora Jackson will kill us!
ELLA
And then straight up fail us.
SAMANTHA
(sitting up in bed - holding a MAGIC WAND) I’m still waking up here?!
ELLA
I know. Adolescence is endless.
CAMELIA (pulling her out of bed) Seriously. Get up.
ADULT SAM has placed SAM’s college acceptance post card where SCARLET will find it.
SCARLET
(noticing the post card) What is this?
SAMANTHA
(getting up/getting dressed)
It’s been a week already! I’m serious, guys! I don’t belong here. I’ve tried everything!
CAMELIA
This crisis of conscience thing is really starting to grate on my nerves, Sam.
SCARLET
(then re: the postcard) You still haven’t sent back your college acceptance?
SAMANTHA
No, I told you - I don’t go.
ELLA
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Sam.
SCARLET
You’ve been talking about going to college for music since the third grade.
CAMELIA (taking it)
You’re mailing this on our way to school.
SAMANTHA
Hypothetically - if you were stuck in the wrong phase of your life - what would you do?
SCARLET
No such thing as the “wrong phase of your life,” Sam.
CAMELIA
If you’re so anxious about being a grown up, then do everything you can now to make sure your adulthood is rad.
ELLA
That way, when you’re forty-something and losing collagen in your cheek bones, at least you’ll have built an incredible foundation to make yourself feel relevant and vibrant.
WINSTON appears in SAM’s doorway.
WINSTON
Camelia, you look beautiful in the neon glow of Samantha’s bedroom.
CAMELIA
(a bit moved actually) Thank you, Winston.
WINSTON
Hiya Sam; I hate to rush your morning routine, but if I don’t pull out of your driveway within the next 90 seconds, there’s no way I’ll make it to Spanish in time, and if I don’t make it to Spanish in time, I might fail our final exam, and if I fail our final exam, I might not get into Northwestern, and if I don’t get into Northwestern ... I’ll die. So - excuse my pushiness, but ... (ala Pretty in Pink) I’m off like a dirty shirt.
11. POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME (DEF LEPPARD)
WINSTON (CONT’D) (CONT’D) STEP INSIDE WALK THIS WAY YOU AND ME BABE (spoken in tempo) Hey hey!
CAMELIA, part eye-roll, part into his unabashed ambition, pulls SAMANTHA out the door.
They get in WINSTON’s car (perhaps created by the bodies of the ENSEMBLE). It’s a bit of a Revenge of the Nerds fantasy moment.
WINSTON (CONT’D)
LOVE IS LIKE A BOMB, BABY, C'MON GET IT ON LIVIN' LIKE A LOVER WITH A RADAR PHONE LOOKIN' LIKE A TRAMP, LIKE A VIDEO VAMP DEMOLITION WOMAN, CAN I BE YOUR MAN?
CAMELIA MY MAN?
WINSTON (CONT’D)
(the most manly he’s ever been) Camelia - shall we discuss our plans for the Turnabout dance in the car?
RAZZLE AND DAZZLE AND A FLASH A LITTLE LIGHT TELEVISION LOVER, BABY, GO ALL NIGHT SOMETIME, ANYTIME, SUGAR ME SWEET LITTLE MISS INNOCENT SUGAR ME, YEAH
CAMELIA AND WINSTON YEAH
WINSTON
C'MON, TAKE A BOTTLE, SHAKE IT UP BREAK THE BUBBLE, BREAK IT UP
As the SET shifts, and music plays, they get in the car, which the ENSEMBLE helps to “drive” as the SET shifts to HIGH SCHOOL.
WINSTON (SAMANTHA/ENSEMBLE) (CONT’D)
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME OOO, IN THE NAME OF LOVE (OOO IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
WINSTON AND CAMELIA
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME
WINSTON (SAMANTHA/ENSEMBLE)
C'MON, FIRE ME UP (OOO, FIRE ME UP) POUR YOUR SUGAR ON ME (OOO) I CAN'T GET ENOUGH
I'M HOT, STICKY SWEET FROM MY HEAD TO MY FEET, YEAH
At a MAILBOX, TEEN SAM gets out of the “car,” deliberately makes a wish on the POSTCARD, kisses itand puts it in the mailbox. Perhaps a subtle gust of wind, a moment of slo-mo and then ...
WINSTON (CONT’D) (responding to traffic as they drive)
Listen:
RED A-LIGHT, YELLOW LIGHT, GREEN-A-LIGHT GO
As the SET transforms into school, music plays ... WINSTON is in a fantasy of “coolness.”
WINSTON (CONT’D)
CRAZY LITTLE WOMAN IN A ONE MAN SHOW MIRROR QUEEN, MANNEQUIN, RHYTHM OF LOVE
WINSTON AND SAMANTHA SWEET DREAM, SACCHARINE, LOOSEN UP (LOOSEN UP)
TAKE A BOTTLE, SHAKE IT UP BREAK THE BUBBLE, BREAK IT UP
WINSTON (CAMELIA/ENSEMBLE)
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME
OOO, IN THE NAME OF LOVE (OOO, IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME C’MON, FIRE ME UP (OOO, FIRE ME UP)
POUR YOUR SUGAR ON ME (OOO)
ALL
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME, OH, IN THE NAME OF LOVE
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME
OOO, IN THE NAME OF LOVE
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME OOO, C'MON FIRE ME UP POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME, YEAH, SUGAR ME.
The button of the song lands them in the SCHOOL HALL.
SCENE 11 (CONTINUOUS)
In their haste JOHNNY, with GAVIN in tow, bumps into WINSTON -
JOHNNY
Watch it loser!
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
Hey, watch where you’re going!
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s you.
Wind knocked outta WINSTON’s sails, JOHNNY now bumps into SAMANTHA.
SAMANTHA
Ow! That really hurt?!
They look up, realizing ...
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Oh - sorry, I didn’t mean ...
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
Didn’t mean what? To suck face with a loser guitarist in front of millions of people?
Ooooooohhhh.
GAVIN
SAMANTHA
No - I didn’t mean to bump into you just now.
JOHNNY
Oh, OK, cool. So then, you did mean to lock lips with Eric Clapton last week?
COOPER (headed into class - rolling his eyes) Oh my God.
JOHNNY sticks his foot out to trip COOPER, but COOPER effortlessly steps over it, ducking into class.
COOPER (CONT’D) (dreamily)
Hey Sam.
Hey Cooper.
SAMANTHA (double dreamily)
JOHNNY
Gag me.
With a spoon.
GAVIN
DEBBIE enters the classroom.
DEBBIE
Hey Gavin, do you have a date for the Turnabout dance yet?
GAVIN No.
DEBBIE
OK. Just doing research.
DEBBIE makes her way as GAVIN fist pumps the air “YES!”
SAMANTHA
Look, Johnny, I’ve been walking on eggshells with you all week. We need to talk.
JOHNNY
So talk.
Privately.
SAMANTHA (re: GAVIN)
JOHNNY
This is private.
Yeah.
GAVIN
SAMANTHA (exhaling)
You can’t keep being mean to me in the hallway.
JOHNNY
I’m not mean to you. I bought you Starburst last week.
SAMANTHA
I wanna have a real conversation.
JOHNNY
What’s there to talk about? You made a laughably regrettable decision, and now you owe me. Big time.
SAMANTHA
Owe you? (reaching a boiling point)
Owe you what, Johnny? You’ve been horrible to me.
JOHNNY scoffs.
12. STOP (Jane’s Addiction)/EYE OF THE TIGER (Survivor)
LIGHTS shift from Spanish class to an MTV music video vibe. SEÑORA JACKSON ENTERS (ala the beginning of “Stop” by Jane’s Addiction). She wears sunglasses and red lips.
SEÑORA JACKSON
SEÑORES Y SEÑORAS NOSOTROS TENEMOS MÁS INFLUENCIA CON SUS HIJOS QUE TÚ TIENE, PERO LOS QUEREMOS CREADO Y REGADO DE LOS ANGELES, JUANA'S ADDICCIÓN.
Chords begin. SEÑORA JACKSON ENTERS the classroom. LIGHTS/HALL turns into a fantasy rock showwith JOHNNY at the helm. As Jane’s Addiction underscores, JOHNNY addresses SAM.
LIGHTS and TECH go wild.
JOHNNY
Who told you your hair looked good in pigtails? Who let you borrow his alligator stapler - no questions asked? Who let you have unlimited access to his secret stash of Twinkies?
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
Me. This Guy. That’s who. D’you know how many girls at this school would die to be my girlfriend?
All the GIRLS react with disgust.
JOHNNY (CONT’D)
So. Many. Girls.
Now, EYE OF THE TIGER mashes in to STOP as ADULT SAMANTHA appears behind TEEN SAM, pulsing with the inner voice they share.
ADULT SAMANTHA
RISING UP STRAIGHT TO THE TOP HAD THE GUTS, GOT THE GLORY WENT THE DISTANCE, NOW I'M NOT GOING TO STOP JUST A GIRL AND HER WILL TO SURVIVE
ADULT SAMANTHA AND JOHNNY (different emotional tracks)
IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER
IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE
ELLA
SO MANY TIMES IT HAPPENS TOO FAST
SCARLET
YOU TRADE YOUR PASSION FOR GLORY
CAMELIA
DON'T LOSE YOUR GRIP ON THE DREAMS OF THE PAST
ELLA/SCARLET/CAMELIA YOU MUST FIGHT JUST TO KEEP THEM ALIVE
ALL
IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE ...
ADULT SAMANTHA OF THE TIGER
FEMALE ENSEMBLE ONE COME A DAY THE WATER WILL RUN NO MAN WILL STAND FOR THINGS THAT HE HAD DONE
JOHNNY HURRAH AND THE WATER WILL RUN
JOHNNY AND GAVIN IT WILL
JOHNNY, GAVIN AND ENSEMBLE RUN - OH
JOHNNY
GOOD, GO!
JOHNNY AND GAVIN (ENSEMBLE) GIMME THAT (OOO) GIMME THAT (OOO) YOUR AUTOMOBILE (OOO) TURN OFF THAT SMOKESTACK (OOO) AND THAT GODDAMN RADIO (OOO)
Ensemble continues underneath through the end of the song.
ADULT SAMANTHA, ELLA, SCARLET, CAMELIA, AND DEBBIE IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE OF THE TIGER
THE EYE OF THE TIGER THE EYE OF THE TIGER THE EYE OF THE TIGER OF THE TIGER
JOHNNY AND GAVIN (CONT’D) GIMME THAT GIMME THAT YOUR AUTOMOBILE TURN OFF THAT SMOKESTACK AND THAT GODDAMN RADIO HUM ALONG WITH ME ALONG WITH THE T.V AND HE’S WATCHING US ALL WITH THE EYE
GIMME THAT, GIMME THAT, GOOD, GO! TURN OFF THAT SMOKE STACK NOT GONNA
JOHNNY AND GAVIN (CONT’D) STOP!
In one moment, the music shifts as LIGHTS/EVERYTHING restores to “normal.”
SEÑORA JACKSON appears as she did at the beginning of the song - now looking like herself.
STUDENTS take their seats as music begins to underscore and SEÑORA JACKSON passes out the tests.
13. LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD (Pat Benatar)
SEÑORA JACKSON
OK, mis amigos, the test starts now.
As the music intro builds, the STUDENTS begin to take their exam.
TEEN SAMANTHA, motivated/buoyed by the previous song, shifts into a fantasy.
LIGHTS shift as she privately imagines confronting JOHNNY and professing love to COOPER, ala an MTV Music Video, while the rest of the class remains focused/frozen taking their exams.
ENSEMBLE SOLO 1
WE ARE YOUNG
WE ARE YOUNG
ENSEMBLE SOLO 2
ADULT SAMANTHA (spoken)
We are young.
ENSEMBLE SOLO 4
HEARTACHE TO HEARTACHE WE STAND
ENSEMBLE SOLO 5 HEARTACHE TO HEARTACHE WE STAND
ADULT SAMANTHA (spoken with above) Heartache to heartache we stand.
ENSEMBLE SOLO 7 NO PROMISES
ENSEMBLE SOLO 7 (CONT’D) NO DEMANDS
ENSEMBLE SOLO 8 NO PROMISES, NO DEMANDS
ADULT SAMANTHA (spoken with above) No promises, no demands.
ENSEMBLE SOLO 1
LOVE IS A BATTLE FIELD
ENSEMBLE SOLO 2
LOVE IS A BATTLE FIELD
SAMANTHA WHOA-OO WHOA-OO WHOA
ENSEMBLE SOLO 3 (spoken) Love is a battlefield.
(getting up out of her seat - singing to COOPER)
WE ARE STRONG NO ONE CAN TELL US WE'RE WRONG SEARCHING OUR HEARTS FOR SO LONG BOTH OF US KNOWING LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD (now to JOHNNY)
YOU'RE BEGGING ME TO GO THEN MAKING ME STAY WHY DO YOU HURT ME SO BAD IT WOULD HELP ME TO KNOW
JOHNNY
DO I STAND IN YOUR WAY OR AM I THE BEST THING YOU'VE HAD?
SAMANTHA
BELIEVE ME, BELIEVE ME I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY BUT I'M TRAPPED BY YOUR LOVE AND I'M CHAINED TO YOUR SIDE
SAMANTHA re-takes her seat, LIGHTS shift back to normal, the CLASS unfreezes, and SAM finishes her test.
SEÑORA JACKSON
Wrap it up, muchachos.
As the STUDENTS move to hand in their exams and EXIT the classroom, they sing - as if now also in SAM’S fantasy.
SAMANTHA, JOHNNY, COOPER AND ENSEMBLE WOMEN
WE ARE YOUNG HEARTACHE TO HEARTACHE (TO HEARTACHE) WE STAND (WE STAND) NO PROMISES (NO PROMISES) NO DEMANDS (NO DEMANDS) LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD (LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD) WE ARE STRONG (WE ARE STRONG) NO ONE CAN TELL US WE'RE WRONG (AH AH)
SEARCHING OUR HEARTS FOR SO LONG (WE ARE YOUNG) BOTH OF US KNOWING
SAMANTHA, JOHNNY, and COOPER hand in their finals at the same moment.
SAMANTHA, JOHNNY, AND COOPER LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD
The song buttons. The school bell rings. As the KIDS file out of class, over the loudspeaker we hear the distinct sound of a preloudspeaker announcement.
PRINCIPAL KANEFSKY
(over loudspeaker/perhaps visible w mic)
Boys and Girls, this is your principal speaking. Whoever stole the Glenridge High mascot, please return it immediately or today’s pep rally and game against Glenridge will be canceled. I repeat - Glen the Goat has been reported stolen and must be returned ... or else. I’m looking at you, Mr. Stevens.
JOHNNY
Gavin, go give the goat back.
GAVIN (disappointed)
Aw, man.
Annoyed, GAVIN exits.
COOPER
See you after school, Sam?
JOHNNY (using quotation fingers)
Oooooh, after school meeting for “band” practice?
COOPER
You don’t have to put it in “quotes” - it’s literally band practice.
JOHNNY
Whatever, David Bowie.
COOPER (exasperated)
Gah!
JOHNNY
What’s the point?
COOPER ... Of ... ???
AH
JOHNNY
Of being in a band. I mean it’s not like you guys are good enough to go pro or something.
COOPER
Whatever you say, Johnny.
COOPER moves away as SCARLET and DUCKIE make their way to the door.
14. I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY (Whitney Houston)
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
SCARLET
Hey Duckie - how’d you do?
DUCKIE
What?
YEAH
On the test?
SCARLET
(continued without pause from above)
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
DUCKIE
Oh. Not great.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
WOO!
SCARLET
I thought you studied.
DUCKIE I did, but I was distracted.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
HEY, YEAH
By what?
HAA
OOH YEAH
SCARLET
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
HOBBS and ELLA have made their way to the door.
HOBBS
Ella ...
AH-HA
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
HOBBS
There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
YEAH
OK?
... I WANNA DANCE
ELLA
She readies herself for the big question.
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
ELLA
Hold please.
ELLA and SCARLET find each other to gossip about what’s about to happen!
ELLA (CONT’D)
THE CLOCK STRIKES UPON THE HOUR AND THE SUN BEGINS TO FADE
SCARLET
THERE’S STILL ENOUGH TIME TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO CHASE MY BLUES AWAY
DUCKIE
I'VE DONE ALRIGHT UP 'TIL NOW IT'S THE LIGHT OF DAY THAT SHOWS ME HOW
HOBBS BUT WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS LONELINESS CALLS
DUCKIE AND HOBBS
OH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY
SCARLET AND ELLA
YEAH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
By now, GAVIN has re-entered.
GAVIN AND DEBBIE
OH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY
SCARLET, ELLA, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS AND GAVIN
YEAH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
SCARLET
I'VE BEEN IN LOVE AND LOST MY SENSES SPINNING THROUGH THE TOWN
ELLA
SOONER OR LATER, THE FEVER ENDS AND I WIND UP FEELING DOWN
ELLA AND SCARLET AND DEBBIE I NEED A MAN WHO'LL TAKE A CHANCE ON A LOVE THAT BURNS HOT ENOUGH TO LAST
ELLA, SCARLET, DEBBIE, AND FEMALE ENSEMBLE SO WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS MY LONELY HEART CALLS
ALL
OH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY YEAH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY
DUCKIE/HOBBS/ELLA/SCARLET/DEBBIE/ GAVIN WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
The CLASS is invested in getting dates for the dance. EVERYONE gets involved.
SAM and COOPER slowly start to drift towards each other.
SOMEBODY WHO
GIRLS
BOYS
SOMEBODY WHO ALL SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
BOYS
SOMEBODY WHO GIRLS
SOMEBODY WHO TO HOLD ME IN HIS ARMS
DEBBIE
OH I NEED A MAN WHO'LL TAKE THE CHANCE ON A LOVE THAT BURNS HOT ENOUGH TO LAST
DEBBIE/GAVIN SO WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS MY LONELY HEART CALLS
ALL
OH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT WITH SOMEBODY
YEAH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE? SAY YOU WANNA DANCE! DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE?
DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE? SAY YOU WANNA DANCE! DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE?
DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE? SAY YOU WANNA DANCE! DON’T YOU WANNA DANCE? WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
CAMELIA/WINSTON
OH, I WANNA DANCE
OH, I WANNA FEEL THE HEAT, YEAH
YEAH, I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
OH, I WANNA DANCE I WANNA DANCE I WANNA DANCE
YEAH
I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME
The song buttons!
DUCKIE (with SCARLET)
Yes, I’ll go to the dance with you!
ELLA (with HOBBS) You will?!
GAVIN (with DEBBIE) I will!
ALL (fist pump psyched) Yes!
The TEENS make their way out of the HALL as SAM and COOPER are about to ask each other to the dance when ...
JOHNNY (pulling SAM to him)
Goes without saying, but we’re going to the dance together.
SAMANTHA
COOPER, disgusted, turns on a dime and EXITS with the rest of the kids, leaving SAM looking after COOPER, but left with JOHNNY. ADULT SAM now appears - nearly a shadow behind her.
A breath. A choice. And then ...
Johnny. I need to say something.
JOHNNY
(turning on a dime)
Oh, here it is. The part where you’ve come to your senses, tell me you can’t live without me, admit that I’m the best thing to ever happen to you ...
15. SHATTERED DREAMS (Johnny Hates Jazz)
Musical intro beat underscores.
SAMANTHA
In first grade, when you’d pull my pigtails, it would hurt. But when I told my mom, she’d say: “Oh, that means he likes you!” (nearly an aside)
Not her fault. Product of the ‘50s. (then)
And in middle school, when you’d snap my bra on the bus, she would say: “Someone has a crush on you!” So, I grew up thinking that when you hurt me or embarrassed me or told me what to wear or ate my lunch or hacked into my computer ...
JOHNNY
I never hacked into ...
SAMANTHA
You will. (then)
... That that was your way of “liking” me. (realizing)
Which is not true and not cool. (then)
Only, I couldn’t see it before. I just thought: “this must be what it’s like when a boy likes you.” But, it’s not. No matter how many Starburst you give me. I know that now. (then)
And somehow, I’ve been gifted another chance to do something about it.
TEEN SAMANTHA (ADULT SAM ECHOES) SO MUCH FOR YOUR PROMISES THEY DIED THE DAY YOU LET ME GO CAUGHT UP IN YOUR WEB OF LIES BUT IT WAS JUST TOO LATE TO KNOW I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU WHO WOULD STAND BY MY SIDE AND NOW YOU'VE GIVEN ME, GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED DREAMS FEELS LIKE I COULD RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY FROM THIS EMPTY HEART
JOHNNY
Gimme a break.
SAMANTHA
YOU'VE GIVEN ME, GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED DREAMS FEELS LIKE I COULD RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY FROM THIS EMPTY HEART
ENSEMBLE WOMEN join in.
SAMANTHA & WOMEN
YOU'VE GIVEN ME, GIVEN ME NOTHING BUT SHATTERED DREAMS, SHATTERED DREAMS FEELS LIKE I COULD RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY FROM THIS EMPTY HEART OH, OH, OH, NO
JOHNNY
What are you even talking about?! I don’t have to listen to this!
He EXITS!
SAMANTHA SO MUCH FOR YOUR PROMISES
SAM EXITS the classroom as the FEMALE ENSEMBLE shifts the SET.
In the shifting of the HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY, “MIRRORS”/LOCKERS pass TEEN SAM by and she shares a reflective moment with ADULT SAM.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Johnny’s an idiot.
ADULT SAMANTHA
Yeah.
The SET ultimately evolves into COOPER’s GARAGE.
SCENE 12 (CONTINUOUS)
Music underscores, morphing into: 16. COULD’VE BEEN (Tiffany)
SAMANTHA ENTERS COOPER’S GARAGE.
SAMANTHA (continuous) And a bully.
COOPER
Yeah.
SAMANTHA
And I realized something this morning when I woke up still here.
COOPER
Where else do you wake up?
SAMANTHA
I don’t want to grow up and wish for a redo life. I wanna live the life I want right from the get-go, ya know?
COOPER (increasingly baffled by her) Uhhh?
SAMANTHA (continuing on)
And at first, I thought - maybe that means I oughta be on my own, ya know? Like, I don’t need a guy to “complete” me.
COOPER Right.
SAMANTHA
I could be fiercely independent. And that’s true. I could. But then I also thought about how it would feel to grow up and live the kind of life I wanna live, but not be able to share it with the person I’d like to share it with. Ya know?
COOPER (really trying to follow)
... Maybe?
SAMANTHA
Like I can be fiercely independent and also in a healthy relationship. Ella says the two things aren’t mutually exclusive.
Oooook.
COOPER
SAMANTHA
So then I thought about our kiss. Ya know last week at the club ...
COOPER (duh)
Yeah, I remember our kiss.
SAMANTHA
And how twenty years from now I don’t wanna be stalking you on Instagram, curious if your wife had Botox, and wondering if you’re really happy.
COOPER Instagram?
SAMANTHA
COULD'VE BEEN SO BEAUTIFUL COULD'VE BEEN SO RIGHT COULD'VE BEEN MY LOVER EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE COULD'VE BEEN SO BEAUTIFUL COULD'VE BEEN SO RIGHT I'LL NEVER HOLD WHAT COULD'VE BEEN ON A COLD AND LONELY NIGHT
COOPER
THE SWEET WORDS YOU WHISPERED DIDN’T MEAN A THING. I GUESS OUR SONG IS OVER AS WE BEGIN TO SING.
SAMANTHA
THE MEMORIES OF YOUR LOVIN’ STILL LINGER IN THE AIR LIKE THE FADED SCENT OF YOUR ROSES, STAY WITH ME EVERYWHERE. EVERY TIME I GET MY HOPES UP THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO FALL.
COOPER
STILL COULD’VE BEEN IS BETTER THAN WHAT COULD NEVER BE AT ALL.
SAMANTHA AND COOPER AT ALL
COULD’VE BEEN SO BEAUTIFUL COULD’VE BEEN SO RIGHT COULD’VE BEEN MY LOVER EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. (MY LIFE)
SAMANTHA
COULD’VE BEEN SO BEAUTIFUL
COOPER
COULD’VE BEEN SO RIGHT.
SAMANTHA
YOU CAN’T HOLD WHAT COULD’VE BEEN ON A COLD AND LONELY NIGHT
SAMANTHA AND COOPER YOU CAN’T HOLD WHAT COULD’VE BEEN ON A COLD AND LONELY NIGHT
COOPER
COULD'VE BEEN SO BEAUTIFUL
SAMANTHA
COULD'VE BEEN SO RIGHT
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
Will you go to the Turnabout dance with me?
COOPER
Yeah, I will.
They kiss.
SAMANTHA
YOU CAN’T HOLD WHAT COULD’VE BEEN ON A COLD AND LONELY NIGHT
Song buttons. They kiss again.
As the music plays off, DUCKIE, HOBBS, DEBBIE, WINSTON, ELLA, SCARLET, and CAMELIA ENTER (maybe on skateboards/roller skates). COOPER and SAMANTHA pull away from each other.
CAMELIA
(re: catching them smooching) SCANDAL?!
COOPER and SAM pull apart, blushing.
HOBBS
I hope this new dynamic won’t have a negative impact on the band.
ELLA
That’s very insightful of you, Hobbs.
HOBBS
Thank you, Ella.
WINSTON
Hey Cooper, how did you manage to shift your relationship with Samantha from platonic to romantic and is there a template I could follow?
CAMELIA
Winston. Remember how we talked about transparent questions and how they reduce a man’s power of mystique?
WINSTON
I remember everything you’ve ever said to me, Camelia, but that doesn’t get your lips closer to mine.
CAMELIA
Again. Just a reminder - tons of people can hear you.
SCARLET
Does Johnny know? About ... this? Like, that it’s a recurring theme?
SAMANTHA
... Who cares?!
ELLA
I’m seeing real growth in you, Samantha.
SAMANTHA
You have no idea. (then)
Besides, I have a different battle to fight.
SCARLET (realizing)
Battle of the B! (then)
I don’t even know what I’m gonna wear yet!
CAMELIA
You don’t need a special outfit, Scar. It’s just an in-school competition.
COOPER
Yeah, but ... this year’s winning band gets to go on to compete at the state battle.
SAMANTHA
What? Really?!
COOPER
Mr. Kanefsky said there’s gonna be talent scouts at state - and the winning band gets to go on to nationals to compete for a record deal.
ALL (ad-libbed)
Really?! A record deal?! Oh my God! Etc.
ELLA
Are you guys ready?
SAMANTHA
No! No, we’re not ready. To go to state?! Nationals? Be worthy of a record deal?! Our song ... it’s not ... special enough.
DEBBIE
How’re we s’posed to make it special?
SAMANTHA
I don’t know, but ... this might be it!
COOPER
Might be what?
SAMANTHA
The moment I’ve been waiting for. My chance to change the future.
SCARLET
I can style you guys. You’ll at least look cooler than everyone else.
SAMANTHA
Thank you. Yes. That will totally help - but if we’re gonna win this thing, what we really need, is to sound better than everyone else.
DEBBIE
Not to set off any alarms, but I heard that Leslie Huntington’s band - Schmadonna - is playing. She does birthday parties!
They all GASP in awe!
SAMANTHA
We have to think of something that will set us apart from Schmadonna. Something no one’s ever heard before.
Thinking, SAM turns to face the GARAGE WALL, where she now notices ADULT SAM leaning against a row of movie POSTERS - specifically, a POSTER of BACK TO THE FUTURE. ADULT SAM subtly gestures to the poster.
TEEN SAM gasps! ALL What?!
17. WE’RE READY (BOSTON)
SAMANTHA
(to the poster)
Thank you, Marty McFly!
As music starts to underscore, the FRIENDS huddle up as SAM relays her plan, unheard by the audience.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
I have an idea.
(ala Back to the Future) It might not make sense now, but your kids are gonna love it.
There is a hint musically of Anna Kendrick’s CUPS and Pink’s LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, woven in to the accompaniment. An Easter egg of what’s to come.
A “getting ready” for Battle of the Bands montage commences as they sing ...
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
I'M READY FOR MORE
ADULT SAM, almost as TEEN SAM’s shadow, weaves throughout.
SAMANTHA/ADULT SAM AND COOPER (DEBBIE, DUCKIE, AND HOBBS) THE FEELIN' NOW THAT I'M BESIDE YOU (OOH)
SAMANTHA/ADULT SAM, COOPER, CAMELIA (DUCKIE, HOBBS, DEBBIE, ELLA, SCARLET, WINSTON)
WE'LL OPEN THE DOOR (OOH) DO ANYTHING THAT WE DECIDE TO
ALL + ENSEMBLE
AND I KNOW THAT THERE'S SOMETHING THAT'S JUST OUT OF SIGHT AND I FEEL LIKE I'M FINALLY SEEING THE LIGHT HOLDIN' ON, GIRL I KNOW IT'S RIGHT I KNOW IT'S RIGHT WE'RE READY!
Throughout the song, SCARLET styles the band in amazing outfits and the SET shifts to the decorated HIGH SCHOOL GYM.
SCENE 13 (CONTINUOUS)
COOPER AND SAMANTHA (ALL) YOU AND I (OOH)
WE'LL FIND A REASON
SAMANTHA TO SIMPLIFY
COOPER (ALL) SIMPLIFY (OOH)
COOPER AND SAMANTHA (ALL) A CHANGE OF SEASON
COOPER, SAMANTHA, AND ADULT SAM (ALL)
AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S TIME WE WERE OFF ON OUR WAY (OOO) WE CAN GO SO MUCH FARTHER THAN WE'VE COME TODAY (OOO)
ALL HOLDIN' ON, GIRL AND COME WHAT MAY
COME WHAT MAY WE'RE READY!
SAMANTHA, ADULT SAM WE’RE READY!
SAMANTHA, ADULT SAM, DEBBIE, CAMELIA, ELLA, AND SCARLET WE'RE READY! WE’RE READY!
ADULT SAMANTHA YEAH!
WE CAN FIND A WAY
SAMANTHA
By the end of the song, the KIDS have all EXITED leaving ...
17A BORDERLINE (Madonna)
SCHMADONNA ... ready to rock.
PRINCIPAL KANEFSKY (voiceover)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Schmadonna ...
LESLIE HUNTINGTON (OFF STAGE BACKGROUND SINGERS)
SOMETHIN’ IN THE WAY YOU LOVE ME WON’T LET ME BE I DON’T WANNA BE YOUR PRISONER, SO BABY, WON’T YOU SET ME FREE STOP PLAYIN’ WITH MY HEART FINISH WHAT YOU START WHEN YOU MAKE MY LOVE COME DOWN
IF YOU WANT ME LET ME KNOW BABY, LET IT SHOW HONEY
LESLIE
DON’T YOU FOOL AROUND JUST TRY TO UNDERSTAND I’VE GIVEN ALL I CAN ‘CAUSE YOU’VE GOT THE BEST OF ME BORDERLINE
FEELS LIKE I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND YOU JUST KEEP ON PUSHIN’ MY LOVE OVER THE BORDERLINE BORDERLINE
FEELS LIKE I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND YOU JUST KEEP ON PUSHING MY LOVE OVER THE BORDERLINE
LESLIE (CONT’D) KEEP PUSHIN’ ME KEEP PUSHIN’ ME ( KEEP PUSHING MY LOVE YEAH!
The crowd goes wild. LESLIE HUNTINGTON (dressed as Madonna) takes a bow.
As she clears the stage, PRINCIPAL KANEFSKY takes the mic. ADULT SAM is present ... watching.
PRINCIPAL KANEFSKY
Well done ... Schmadonna! (reading from his clipboard)
Alrighty - our final band to take the stage before the judges select which band will go to “State” is: The Rubber Band!
The CROWD cheers as SAMANTHA, COOPER, DUCKIE and HOBBS take the stage.
JOHNNY and GAVIN ENTER the gym.
JOHNNY, noticing SAM on stage, crosses to the amp and unplugs the mic, ala the opening sequence. The feedback from the amp screeches.
SAMANTHA
(from stage - upset) Johnny!
JOHNNY
Samantha! We’ve talked about this. B.S. “bands” are a waste of time.
SAMANTHA (with newfound strength) No, Johnny! You’re a waste of time!
ALL TEENS (ad-lib)
Ooooh. Burnnnnn. (Etc.)
SAMANTHA
And time is not something I’m willing to waste.
She plugs the mic back in triumphantly as the crowd cheers!
18. WE GOT THE BEAT (Go-Gos) / CUPS (Anna Kendrick) / GET THE PARTY STARTED (Pink)
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
I’m breaking up with you, Johnny. It’s over. Forever. You’ve been so loud for so long, I haven’t been able to hear myself. (then)
But I know what I want and I won’t let you - or anyone else - take my voice away. (then - nearly to ADULT SAM)
I’m not sure if this will change anything - but I pray to God it changes everything.
RELIEVED and PROUD ...
So do I.
ADULT SAMANTHA
ADULT SAM makes her way off as ...
SAMANTHA
(to the band)
OK. Ready guys? Let’s do this. (with resolve, she counts the BAND in ...)
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
A One-Two-Three-Four ...
COOPER
ALL THE KIDS JUST GETTING OUT OF SCHOOL THEY CAN'T WAIT TO HANG OUT AND BE COOL HANG AROUND 'TIL QUARTER AFTER TWELVE THAT'S WHEN THEY FALL IN LINE
As SAMANTHA begins to introduce the signature “CUPS” rhythm ...
COOPER, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS THEY GOT THE BEAT THEY GOT THE BEAT KIDS GOT THE BEAT YEAH, KIDS GOT THE BEAT
Ala “Pitch Perfect” - the arrangement becomes wholly original with a contemporary vibeSamantha has brought the band into the future.
SAMANTHA
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ‘ROUND TWO BOTTLE O’ WHISKEY FOR THE WAY AND I SURE WOULD LIKE SOME SWEET COMPANY
THE RUBBER BAND joins SAM on the signature “CUPS” rhythm and encourages the “audience” to do the same. The KIDS ad-lib throughout - impressed with the new sound, new moves, etc.
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
AND I’M LEAVING TOMORROW, WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHEN I’M GONE WHEN I’M GONE YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY WALK YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY TALK OH, YOU’RE GONNA GET THIS PARTY STARTED ON A SATURDAY NIGHT EVERYBODY’S WAITING FOR ME TO ARRIVE
COOPER
SENDING OUT THE MESSAGE TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS WE’LL BE LOOKING FLASHY IN MY MERCEDES BENZ
SAMANTHA and THE BAND’s voices weave in and out of each other as the band’s sound shifts from inherently ‘80s, to something decidedly fresh (for this crowd).
The effect of the following is MIND BLOWING, BATTLE OF THE BANDS WINNING, MAGIC.
SAMANTHA
I GOT LOTS OF STYLE CHECK MY GOLD DIAMOND RINGS
DUCKIE, DEBBIE, HOBBS I CAN GO FOR MILES IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
SAMANTHA
AND I SURE WOULD LIKE SOME SWEET COMPANY AND I’M LEAVIN’ TOMORROW, WHAT DO YA SAY? WHEN I’M GONE WHEN I’M GONE
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY WALK YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY TALK, OH YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
WHEN I’M GONE WHEN I’M GONE YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY WALK
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY TALK, OH
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE
COOPER (DUCKIE AND HOBBS)
I’M COMING UP SO YOU BETTER GET THIS PARTY STARTED (I’M COMING UP, I’M COMING)
COOPER/DUCKIE/HOBBS/DEBBIE I’M COMING UP SO YOU BETTER GET THIS PARTY STARTED
Beneath the following, DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, and ENSEMBLE sing “WE GOT THE BEAT” ...
SAMANTHA (CONT’D)
WHEN I’M GONE WHEN I’M GONE
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY WALK
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME BY MY TALK, OH
YOU’RE GONNA MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE
COOPER (CONT’D)
GET THIS PARTY STARTED
COOPER AND SAMANTHA
GET THIS PARTY STARTED GET THIS PARTY STARTED GET THIS PARTY STARTED
COOPER
I’M COMING UP SO YOU BETTER GET THIS PARTY STARTED
I’M COMING UP SO YOU BETTER GET THIS PARTY STARTED
WE GOT THE BEAT
DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, AND ENSEMBLE
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
EVERYONE is singing alone, finding their own beat.
DEBBIE, DUCKIE, HOBBS, AND ENSEMBLE (CONT’D)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
WE GOT THE BEAT (WE GOT THE BEAT)
By the end - the TEENS in the audience (and maybe even the REAL audience) sing along/participate in the rhythmic moves of the CUPS song. It’s a BIG moment.
As their epic musical adventure buttons - the CROWD goes wild for the new style of music! The band HUGS!
CAMELIA and WINSTON kiss! (Finally!)
Señora Jackson approaches them with a HUGE GIANT EPIC trophy. They’ve WON!!! And just as she hands it to them ...
SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS. SOUND. LIGHTS. MUSIC. MAGIC. That ol’ electrical, sparkly, lightening storm from ACT I.
The world goes topsy-turvy once more.
With the same SOUND from the opening time-travel moment, LIGHTS suddenly rise on 2016.
SCENE 14 (2016)
We’re no longer in a high school. We’re in Samantha Craig Roy’s bedroom on the morning of her 45th birthday.
LACY (Teen 1) and GREG (Teen 2) ENTER her room. LACY holds a big bouquet of flowers.
LACY/GREG
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MO-OM HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
ADULT SAMANTHA, woozy, starts to wake up - confused!
LACY (coming to kiss her) Happy Birthday, Mom.
GREG
How’d you sleep?
SAMANTHA
Uhhh ...
SAMANTHA frantically looks around her.
Mom, you OK?
GREG
SAMANTHA
Me?
(relishing the word) Mom?
LACY
She’s still out of it.
GREG
We tried to wake you earlier - but you were like dead to the world.
LACY
Singing in your sleep and everything.
GREG
How was the concert last night?
SAMANTHA Concert?
GREG Was it sold out?
LACY
River Arena holds like 15,000 people.
SAMANTHA
I ... LACY
Uncle Winston and Aunt Camelia sent flowers. (reading the card)
To Our Best Friends and #1 Clients: See you at the Grammy’s! We love you!
SAMANTHA
The Grammy’s?!
LACY
Can I come this year?
GREG
No, I get to go - you went last year!
SAMANTHA (realizing)
I ... I don’t work for a toilet company.
LACY Ewww. What?
SAMANTHA
Camelia is ... still my friend?
LACY
Are you gonna be weird now that you’re getting old?
GREG
Oh, and Grandma called. She said she’s dropping off that piece of hers you liked at the gallery as a birthday gift.
SAMANTHA
She remembered my birthday?
LACY
We gotta go; Señora Jackson will kill us and then straight up fail us if we’re late.
GREG
She’s started threatening people with her cane. (giving her a quick kiss) Happy Birthday. Love you.
LACY (quick kiss)
Happy Birthday, Mom.
SAMANTHA
OK. Thank you. Bye. I ... I love you.
LACY (on her way out)
Love you too, Mom.
The KIDS EXIT.
ADULT COOPER ENTERS the room holding a breakfast tray - a stack of pancakes - with lit candles.
Hey, you.
COOPER
SAMANTHA
(with a look behind her! Is this gorgeous man here for her?!) Me?
COOPER
Yeah, you. Glad to see the birthday girl’s awake.
SAMANTHA
(an inhale of joy)
Cooper! It’s you. I always wanted it to be you.
COOPER
Who else would I be?
She laughs, hand over her mouth as COOPER sits - pancake “cake” between them. (Ala the end shot of “16 Candles”).
SAMANTHA
Behind them, TEEN SAM and TEEN COOPER - seen in silhouette - sit cross legged, a birthday cake between them.
21. IF YOU WERE HERE (Thompson Twins) (Instrumental only).
Thanks for bringing me breakfast.
COOPER
Thanks for looking beautiful.
SAMANTHA
Thanks for being here when I woke up.
COOPER
Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
SAMANTHA
It already came true.
Over the cake - they kiss.
BLACK OUT - END OF SHOW