All About Women September 2014

WOMEN All About

September 2014

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Traci Royster Committed to Serve Lisa Erwin Test of Faith

Lynn Gilbert Coming Home

Polly Heafner Anticipating God’s Plan

Ann Shore Governor’s Choice

Welcome to our newest provider, Lynn Gilbert, PA-C

Photo by Leda Winebarger

‘You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were.

All you really have is now.’

- Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Jeff Eason Hollie Greene Laine Isaacs Heather Jordan Mary McKinney

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Powers

advertising Leigh Ann Moody 828.264.6397, ext. 271

cover photo

by Sherrie Norris

Any reproduction of news articles, photographs or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ŠCopyright 2014 A Mountain Times Publication

contents women in the news ann shore young at heart fashion beyond the blue stars lisa erwin mom’s world living well traci royster high country courtesies by the book lynn gilbert beauty marriage and family corner polly heafner recipes blowing rock fashion show

traci royster

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ann shore

lisa erwin

lynn gilbert

polly heafner

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editor’s note

Sherrie Norris is pictured here in Elizabethtown, NY, listening intently to a local resident while serving up a bit of Southern Hospitality. Photo submitted

We southern gals have grown accustomed to the jokes that have evolved about us through the years, and especially about the words and phrases we use.

I take a pride in the “sisterhoods” that have cropped up in the lower half of the country, as well, including the Sweet Potato Queens, and even on a level closer to home, the once popular Cabbage Queens, who appeared in local parades and were known for going about doin’ good.

We’ve been accused of being able to say just about anything and get by with it, as long as we end it with three little words — “Bless your heart.”

During a week in upstate New York earlier this year, trying my best to “do good” with a group from my church, my southern charm and hospitality were put to the test on a couple of occasions.

My first challenge came, when, after I had prepared breakfast for our Boone crew, and invited some of the locals to eat with us, someone had the audacity to ask what a certain pot held.

“Grits,” I answered. “What’s a grit?” the young man responded.

I quickly decided not to joke with him and further confuse him with our common acronym for the word, so rather than say, “Girls Raised In The South,” I explained that grits were ground corn and they were real good with butter. Some people even ate them with sugar, I added.

I can’t remember if he ate any grits, but he did seem to enjoy the gravy and biscuits that were next in line — and something he couldn’t find in a nearby restaurant.

Three days later, while standing at another serving line, filling plate after plate with hotdogs, hamburgers and chips for about 100 individuals who came for what the invitation called a “barbecue,” I was really dishing out the warmth and affection of a good ol’ girl from Carolina. I was stopped in my tracks, momentarily, when a young lad, about 10, who had apparently been observing me quite closely, looked up at me and asked, “Why do you call people sweetie?”

To tell you the truth, I hadn’t thought much about it. “Well, honey, I just don’t know why I do that,” I said. To that, he just rolled his eyes, grabbed his burger and walked on down the line to claim his beverage that had been made with a little lemon, water and, well, yeah, a lot of sugar.

Sorry, sweetie, we had already guzzled all the “soda” we had toted with us up north from the E-vic special at Harris Teeter. But, we did have cookies one of the store managers had sent as a gift — you guessed, it, sugar cookies.

Ya’ll girlfriends, you git what I’m talkin’ about, dontcha?

Some things are just a little “sweeter” when they come from the South.

Bless your hearts.

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WOMENINTHENEWS Judge Linda McGee, left, was administered the oath of office as chief judge of the N.C. Court of Appeals by chief justice of the N.C. Supreme Court Sarah Parker, right, on Aug. 1. McGee has served as a judge on the Court of Appeals for almost 20 years and is the second woman to head that court. This is the second time in history that the chief justice and the chief judge have both been women. The last time was almost 35 years ago when the chief justice was the late Susie Sharp and the chief judge was the late Naomi Morris. McGee practiced law in Boone for 17 years and was a partner in the law firm of di Santi, Watson, and McGee until she became a Court of Appeals judge in 1995.

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WOMENINTHENEWS

Linda Vana, left, and Jane Deavers, display a decorated bra in August as a sample to inspire participation in the upcoming fundraiser at The Dande Lion, Inc. of Banner Elk. Photo submitted

Local Boutique Hosts Fundraiser to “support” local women in detecting and fighting breast cancer When something happens to one of our own in these mountain communities, we come together to support each other.

That’s the idea behind the Breast Buddies fundraiser sponsored by The Dande Lion, Inc. of Banner Elk. Recently, Linda Vana, a staff member and longtime friend of store owner, Jane Deavers, was diagnosed with breast cancer; “fortunately, she is doing well at this time and has a good prognosis,” Jane says.

“However,” she adds, “her situation brought to our attention the importance of early detection and treatment of this illness — and one that directly affects not only the patient, but the family and loved ones, as well.”

With that in mind, The Dande Lion has established what Jane and her team hope to be an annual fundraiser.

In early August, The Dande Lion provided 15 bras for individuals to decorate “in any fashion they desired,” Jane says,

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“including anything that may represent a fight slogan against breast cancer or your business theme.”

The fully decorated bras are now on display in the store through Sept. 30, during which time patrons may place $1 votes for their favorite bra in the appropriate ballot box. Donors can make larger contributions or vote for more than one bra.

“At the close of business on September 30, we will determine which bras received the most votes,” Jane says. “On October 1, proceeds will be donated, through the Seby B. Jones Cancer Center at Appalachian Regional Health Care Center in Boone — just in time for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.”

“This year’s donations from Breast Buddies,” Jane said, “will go directly to the Wilma Redmond Mammography Fund, which provides free first-time mammograms for uninsured women 35 years and older, as well as support, through the

Seby B. Jones Cancer Center, to individuals in the community who cannot afford diagnostic follow-ups. “ Nearly two months ago, Jane says, Linda was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“It brought to mind how important early detection is and what an opportunity we have at The Dande Lion to emphasize the incredible medical resources open to us here in the area. The clinical and caring aspect of the physicians and support staff are wonderful and impressive.”

Jane and her staff invite the High Country community to participate in what she calls a “fun and important fundraiser to promote breast cancer awareness.”

For more information, call The Dande Lion, Inc., at (828) 898-3566.

The Dande Lion is located at The Shoppes of Tynecastle, 4501 Tynecastle Hwy. in Banner Elk. – Sherrie Norris

WOMENINTHENEWS Jan Karon Returning to Blowing Rock

Best selling author Jan Karon returns to Blowing Rock with her latest novel on Sept. 14. Photo submitted

After ending her Mitford Years series a decade ago, author Jan Karon has renewed the series with “Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good.”

Thee acclaimed best-selling author is returning to Blowing Rock this month with her new novel, “Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good.”

Set for a Sept. 2 release, the book returns to both the Mitford Years setting and its characters.

Jan will sign copies of her new novel at Chetola Resort on Sept. 14.

“Light from Heaven” was thought to be the final novel in her multimillionselling Mitford Years series, a collection of stories taking place in a beloved town based in part on the village of Blowing Rock.

During the years, the Mitford series was praised for its melding of Christian themes, down-home humor and realistic portrayal of the struggles of ordinary people.

Jan insists that although her Mitford series was first dreamt up in Blowing Rock and that the town’s character was inspired by her years here, none of the characters is directly linked to Blowing Rock residents.

Jan will appear at Chetola Resort in Blowing Rock for a meet and greet, as well as an onstage interview with the president of her fan club. The event is scheduled to begin at 2 p.m. on Sunday, Sept. 14.

Pre-signed copies of the new book will be available for purchase. The event is free and includes light refreshments and is sponsored by Putnam & Penguin Publishing, the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce and Chetola Resort at Blowing Rock.

Reservations for the book signing are required and space is limited. To make reservations, call Chetola at (828) 2955509.

— Jeff Eason

Genie Starnes named Blowing Rock’s Woman of the Year The 37th annual Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon to benefit Chestnut Ridge at Blowing Rock was filled with surprises on Friday, Aug. 1 Genie Starnes was probably the most surprised person at the event at the Blowing Rock Country Club when she was named Blowing Rock’s Woman of the Year for 2014.

The surprise was compounded by the appearance of her son and daughter, Chad Starnes and Christie Feild. Genie Starnes was unaware that either of them was in town for the occasion.

“It was a total surprise,” says Starnes.

“I had no idea my children were hiding out in Blowing Rock.”

Blowing Rock’s 2013 Woman of the Year Sandy Miller announced her successor at the end of the annual fashion show and luncheon. Miller cited Starnes’ devotion to volunteerism as one of the pri-

“Volunteerism affords an individual mary reasons she was selected Blowing joy, friendship Rock’s Woman of and opportunity,” the Year for 2014. she says. “ToSince moving gether we find to Blowing Rock friendship and from Tennessee opportunity to with her husband achieve our goals.

Jerry 12 years And achieving ago, Genie has our goals brings played an active us pure joy.” role in a variety of A number of Blowing Rock acprevious Blowtivities including ing Rock Women the Beach Music of the Year were Blast, the annual present at the Blowing Rock From left, Jerry Starnes, Genie Starnes, Christie Feild and Chad Starnes at the 37th annual Blowing Rock Fashion luncheon and Fashion Show Show and Luncheon. Photo by Jeff Eason fashion show and Luncheon, including Sandy Miller, Lynn Lawrence, the Blue Ridge Wine and Food Festival, Betty Pitts and Tacky Vosburgh. and WinterFest, among others. She also serves on the board of Ensemble Stage — Jeff Eason Company.

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Boone businesswoman Ann Shore, co-owner of Blinds Direct, remembers the GOP’s glory days in Raleigh, when she served as personal secretary to the state’s first Republican governor in more than 70 years. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Ann Shore

The governor’s choice Boone businesswoman, Ann Aldridge Shore, has fond memories of her earlier years when her first job on King Street eventually led her to an esteemed position as the personal secretary of a North Carolina governor.

It started in 1961 with a 12-year stint as secretary to the father-and-son law firm of Holshouser and Holshouser in Boone.

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In 1973, Ann reluctantly joined the younger attorney, James E. Holshouser Jr., in the state capitol when he became the first Republican governor of North Carolina in more than 70 years.

Ann remembers well applying for her first job with the Holshousers.

James E. Holshouser, Sr. had just finished a term as a federal court judge and was joining his son, “Jim,” who had

completed law school, passed the N.C. State Bar exam, and returned home to practice law.

“After graduating from Cove Creek High School, I was looking for a summer job to help with college funds for the fall,” Ann says.

She had no experience when she heard about the job opportunity, but was “more than willing to work hard and

learn,” she says.

“I declined at first,” she says. “I already from the administration building while It was a challenging position, she says, had a job I loved; I had a husband, and by the capitol was undergoing renovation; but she loved the legal aspects of it all. that time, two young children.”

Ann’s office was located just outside HolsLearning the criminal and civil Over next few months, his calls conhouser’s door. process of law was intriguing, she says, tinued; Ann and George finally agreed “Everyone who visited him had to through which she gained “a great apto go to Raleigh and “look around,” she first pass the security office and then my preciation for those who made the system says. “We had lunch at the mansion, office,” Ann says. work.” were escorted around Raleigh with the Ann worked closely with all of the With no computers or fax machines, governor in a huge limousine, and were governor’s staff, including his security and only a manual typewriter, Ann says, truly impressed that he even wanted us to team, mansion staff, press office, adminisshe was determined to do everything work on his team.” trative assistant and scheduling coordinaright the first time to avoid having to do Returning to Boone, the couple went tor. it over. to their church family and requested their Ann remembers “lots of time-consumIn the meantime, Ann married George help to pray about the matter. ing meetings” with the press secretary for Shore; a year later, the couple welcomed “From there, everything just seemed news releases and deadlines. their first child. to fall into place,” Ann says.

“Since I had a family, I made it clear The younger Holshouser became In June 1973, the Shores moved to Rathat I would not make it a habit of workactive in politics early in his career and leigh, began attending Creedmoor Road ing late, but occasionally it was needed, eventually served four terms in the House Baptist, and with the help of a deacon, especially when the state of the state of Representative and was chairman of found a babysitter who ended up caring address was given,” she says. “Since we the N.C. Republican Party, the latter of for their two children for four years. didn’t have computers at that time, all which introduced Ann to the political The governor and his staff worked releases were done on the typewriter.” arena.

When the first computer With no personnel in the arrived in the governor’s Raleigh office to produce the office, it was slow to respond, party’s newsletter, Ann often Ann says; she found it “much accompanied Holshouser on faster” to walk to the legislaa one-day trip to Raleigh to tive building and retrieve publish and mail the publicaneeded information on varition. ous senate or house bills.

“It was no easy task,” Recording minutes and she says, describing the taking notes, Ann was the manual process of using a only woman in staff meethand-cranked mimeograph ings. machine and an addressoAmong her job highgraph machine — something lights was welcoming visishe had never seen before. tors from Watauga County, “The machine often she says, “I enjoyed giving jammed and we had to spend them tours of our office, and hours prying the address when possible, the downplate out of the machine to town area.” get it going again.”

Her collection of meIn 1972, Holshouser ran mentos, gathered during her for governor and was elected time with the Holshousers, as North Carolina’s 68th indicate that Ann was an governor and the first Repubimportant part of the first lican governor since 1896; he family, before, during and was also the youngest govafter its move to the execuernor ever elected and the tive mansion. last one in North Carolina She has numerous ineligible to run for a second newspaper clippings, invitaterm, Ann says. tions and programs from Holshouser immediately special events, place cards began calling the Shores, from inaugural dinners and asking them to move their gatherings at the mansion, family to Raleigh so Ann as well as handwritten notes could become his personal from the governor.

A newspaper clipping from The Watauga Democrat in 1973, features a young Ann Shore soon after she and her family moved to Raleigh at the request of N.C. Governor, secretary.

James E. Holshouser, Jr., to be his personal secretary.

Continued on next page

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A few of many mementos Ann Shore has of her time in the N.C. State Capitol.

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Ann and her family were included in Holshouser’s inaugural events, as were several of his friends from Boone — and the Watauga High School Marching band, which led the parade.

Among her treasures is also a signed photograph of the governor with these words, “To Ann, the best secretary a governor ever had.” She also accumulated numerous letters of commendation, certificates and awards, including that of the Long Leaf Pine, for her “confidence, integrity and learning zeal . . . in service to the state of North Carolina.”

Ann was mentioned in numerous political publications and Raleigh newspapers.

One publication reported that Ann and her son, Mitchell, who was 5 at the time, were watching the governor’s state of the state message on TV one day, when Mitchell asked his mother, “Who is that?” when Holshouser appeared on the screen. Ann replied. “You know who that is.” “Oh, yeah, that’s the man who works in your office.”

A letter written to her by Phillip Kirk Jr., the governor’s administrative assistant, said, “The smartest thing the governor ever did was to bring you to Raleigh.”

In Nov. 1975, Ann was interviewed for the New York Gregg/McGraw Hill publication Today’s Secretary, spotlighting executive secretaries in politics.

Moving to Raleigh was a big adjustment, Ann says.

“It was a big change and exciting; eventually, I came to love the busy hectic pace.”

Ann’s fondness for Holshouser and his family are obvious today, as she talks about his numerous accomplishments while in office and about his commitments to healthcare, economic development, rural communities and education.

After the governor’s four-year term ended, Ann received several job offers; the Shores considered staying in Raleigh since George was still employed with N.C. Department of Transportation.

After weighing their options, she says, they decided to move back to their home in Boone.

Ann returned to the law office, which then was known as Holshouser, Holshouser and Lamm; their children were enrolled in Watauga County Schools, and for a while, George continued to commute to work.

“It wasn’t easy,” she says, “but, we made it work.”

In the meantime, the couple purchased

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828-264-4660 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC 28607 www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home

LO O E An autographed photo of Gov. James E. Holshouser, Jr. is among Ann Shore’s keepsakes of her time in Raleigh.

property and started a family Christmas tree farm. “We didn’t object to hard work, but it was more than we bargained for,” Ann says.

They eventually sold the farm and purchased property to build a new home in 1987.

In 2004, as Ann contemplated retirement, she, instead, joined her son Mitchell in purchasing Blinds Direct, the business in which he was employed.

So began her new career in selling window fashions.

A decade later, she is still “very much involved” in the business, she said.

Ann is grateful for “many wonderful experiences,” but ones she would have missed, she says, had she declined her job with the governor.

From long before Holshouser’s 1973 inauguration to his 2013 funeral, he was a big part of Ann’s life.

“I have been so blessed,” she adds,

“but my career pathway has required a lot of hard work, commitment and dedication on my part, as well as that of my family. I kept telling them it was all about teamwork.”

“I am so proud we all pulled together,” she says, “through good times, as well as the tough ones. My family is my pride and joy.”

The Shores’ daughter, Starla Wilson, lives in Rockingham, is a middle school math teacher and mother of their two “wonderful grandchildren, Tyler and Caroline,” Shore says. “My son, Mitchell Shore, is still my business partner in Blinds Direct.”

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sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

Newland, NC (828)733-0186 Like us on

SEPTEMBER 2014

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youngatheart

Being Fabulous [fab-yuh-luh s] I am fortunate to have two fantastic nieces, Aria and Elinor. Aria turns 10 in September and is blossoming into a lovely young girl. “Princess Elinor,” as she prefers to be addressed, turned 6 in August. Seeing them only occasionally, I am always shocked to realize how they have grown, yet excited to catch a glimpse of the, hopefully, fabulous women each will one day become. I say ‘hopefully’ because being

fabulous takes time, effort and guidance from other fabulous women. To that end, I have penned the following letter to my nieces and to nieces everywhere.

Dear Aria and Elinor, I was lucky to have excellent female mentors who empowered me to become my fabulous self. I feel it is my responsibility, as a good aunt, to do the same for you. Fortunately, the burden does not rest on my shoulders alone. Your amazing mothers, grandmothers, teachers and other female role models will help guide you down the path to fabulousness.

Fabulous – Extraordinary, tremendous, stupendous, phenomenal, remarkable, exceptional, amazing, wonderful,

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astonishing, marvelous – is more than an adjective, it is a way of life. Being fabulous is not about any one attribute – beauty or brains, wealth or power, education or experience – but rather, the sum of all your parts. Being fabulous is being the best you that you can be.

Please know that this takes work; I have to remind myself to be fabulous on a regular basis, because being a woman, much less a young lady on the precipice of womanhood, is challenging. You face expectations and exposure unlike anything I recall from my youth, especially

living under the microscope of today’s digital world with its array of social media platforms, status updates, selfies and a reliance on Photoshop, to achieve unattainable beauty.

That being said, you also have opportunities for greatness. But, with greatness comes responsibility. Just as I hope to empower you to fabulousness, you will have the awesome task of molding the next generation. There is no need to panic, however, because I have seen fit to compile a handy list of being fabulous guidelines:

Your amazing mothers, grandmothers, teachers and other female role models will help guide you down the path to fabulousness.

- auntie feather Be kind – You know the adage about flies and honey. I can, with 100 percent certainty, say, that being kind to another person is something that you will never regret.

Be genuine – Be yourself and own it.

It is perfectly acceptable for you to like science or sports, math or monster trucks.

Even if someone says that you are weird, in the words of my mother, “at least you’re not boring!”

Be strong – Strength comes in many forms – mental, emotional and physical. And, yes, there really is strength in numbers. Create a support network of fabulous friends (female, male, feline,

etc.) for times of need. Also, a few pushups never hurt anyone.

Be self-reliant –You should take charge of your own happiness, but we all need a helping hand from time to time.

Learn the difference between assistance and dependence.

Be classy – Manners, poise and good sense never go out of style. When in doubt, always ask, before engaging in questionable behavior, “Am I comfortable with my grandmother or future employer seeing pictures of this online?”

Be stylish – Trends come and go; find what works for you. However, please

remember that leggings are not pants!

Be smart – One day you will learn that smart is sexy. However, out of deference to your fathers, I offer the following addendum: Concern yourself only with the smart part of the previous guideline and become an astrophysicist or president — or something. You need not worry about sexy until you are at least 30, if ever.

Be loud – Use your voice to stand up for yourself, your ideals and others who are being far too quiet.

Be bold – Try new things. Travel, eat and experience all that life has to offer.

Be afraid – A healthy amount of fear makes us appreciate our accomplishments. You will hurt, and you will fail, but you must conquer fear rather than let it conquer you. Unless you fear spiders, in which case — throw random objects until you smash that bugger.

Be funny – Humor is great at diffusing awkward situations, just be sure to turn it inward rather than outward. Also, I hear that laughter is the best medicine; unless you have appendicitis, then, I would suggest seeking actual medical care.

Be fabulous!

Love, Auntie Feather

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports.

She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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Timeless

Fashion

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&

Fads fade, but timeless fashion never goes out of style.

I’m reminded of, and inspired by, the fashion icons who remain consistently present, even in our era of instantaneous, you’ll-miss-it-if-you-blink street style.

There are several styles that will never go out of style, not because they’re trendy or hip, but because they have a way of accentuating your body, curves and your best assests.

The basic principles of achieving a beautiful, elegant and timeless look are quite simple. A more sophisticated look comes with time, but for now, let’s stick to simple clean lines and focus on quality.

‘

Discover what looks good on you

Keep your choices simple Remember, simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Ideal choices are usually those with simple styles in neutral or pastel colors.

But, your personality and skin tone are also factors to consider, too. Discover the colors you wear best and wear them in blocks.

Refrain from patterns, unless you know how to wear them while trying to achieve the elegant look. If in doubt, stick to clean lines.

And, unless you are fairly young, keep your clothing choices modest: skirts at least knee length or slightly above.

When apple I think of icons, it seems as if all of them follow these tips for timeless fashion.

Celebrate every day the person you are, and garner the level of respect you deserve.

Don’t be afraid of prints and patterns, but keep in mind — you should - emily wear the clothes; don’t let the clothes wear you. It is all about scale and proportion. Seek out small designs that do not overpower your frame.

’

Quality Quality is essential to elegance, so make that your aim. It’s not an extravagance to buy a few good pieces that will have a long life. It actually pays to have the very best that you can afford, but it might not work for those of us who want a different item to wear everyday of the year. Take my advice and stop buying clothes that do not completely satisfy you.

I find it easier to work with my wardrobe when I have only those items that I really love. So, buy only what you love.

Hold out for quality items and do more with less.

Be yourself and smile What do you love about yourself, and what makes you happy to wear?

Celebrate, every day, the person you are, and garner the level of respect you deserve. You limit your options every time that you don’t try to be your best and to look your best.

Use your body to a new level Avoid clothing that is too “boxy,” too big or has too much fabric. Don’t be afraid to tailor your clothes. The proper fit makes all the difference in how it appears on your frame – and most importantly, how it makes you look.

Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

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Members of the Blue Star Mothers of the High Country prepare to pack boxes to send to their military children during their monthly meeting in July. Left to right: Carolyn Isaacs, Tammie Spears, Genie Brown, Becky Million, Peri Moretz, Kim Isler, Sara Rice, Nancy Christensen, Kathy Farris, Meleah Coffey and Gudrun Ohlen. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Beyond the Blue Stars

High Country mother’s group shares victories, challenges and support

I

t’s not difficult to picture about a dozen women sitting around a table once a month talking about their children. It happens every day in every community across America.

Such is the case in Boone, especially, as one mother reports that her daughter has a new teaching job; another shares the good news that her son is engaged — and yet another, that her son is about to become a new father.

Around the circle it goes. One mother takes her turn to say that her child is moving from one country to another, while yet another announces that her son just came home for a two-week visit. The next mother in the group is nearly in tears as she talks about her son surprising her by showing up at church on Sunday.

A mother is one thing, but a Blue Star Mother is another — and several of those brave women are in our midst.

As parents of children who serve in the military, Blue Star Mothers of the High Country is a group that works hard to show its love and support not only for their own family members, but also for others who are serving in the armed forces.

The group has been in existence since January 1010, but it doesn’t proclaim its presence loudly. The women work quietly behind the

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scenes to meet the needs of their children and fellow troops, and occasionally host a public awareness campaign or fundraiser to aid in their efforts.

During the 2014 Memorial Day ceremony at Boone Mall, Blue Star Mothers presided over a booth with information about the organization; a repeat performance will mostly likely take place on Veteran’s Day. At any given time, the group might sponsor a flapjack fundraiser to help defray expenses required to send dozens of care packages overseas. They sent 79 boxes in 2013.

But, most of the time, you don’t hear much about them, unless you are a member — or unless you are on the receiving end of a red, white and blue box that makes its way to your base.

One soldier told his mother recently, “Those blue moms are really popular among my platoon, especially when our boxes arrive.”

That’s the kind of response the organization loves to hear. But, another mother’s son was not as excited with the ribbing he received when his battery-operated bunny (in an Easter package) broke out in the familiar tune, “Here comes Peter Cottontail” — before it ever got out of the box, and with his fellow soldiers nearby.

Or another, when the bomb squad was

‘

One soldier told his mother recently, “Those blue moms are really popular among my platoon, especially when our boxes arrive.”

’

called to investigate a box he received, which included battery-operated “spinning toothbrushes” from a dental hygienist mom.

Most of what the Blue Star Mothers send to the troops are the expected pre-packaged food items and snacks, wet-wipes, batteries, playing cards, phone cards and other extras many people take for granted.

But, sending care packages is just one of the many ways the group serves members of the military.

Special projects and community support The local BSM has sponsored various projects through the years, including a “Cool Wrap Sew-a-thon” at Sew Original.

During the event, shop owners provided necessary materials for volunteers to sew, iron and fold headwraps that helped to provide relief from heat exhaustion. The wraps were (and are) especially helpful for those deployed to arid locales with extreme temperatures. Also, a quilt auction was held to help cover costs of supplies and shipping, says member Kim Isler.

“We’ve been very fortunate to have the support of the community in our efforts,” she adds, “namely Applebee’s for helping us with our fundraisers, the Peacemakers, (local chapter of the Christian Motorcycle Association) for their financial and moral support, and Walgreens, which gives their customers an opportunity to donate special items at the checkout counter.”

The latter, Kim says, has provided the group “with dozens and dozens of boxes of goodies to send to our children.”

Kim mentions Green Valley Elementary School, too, as a great supporter. “We have done school presentations there to keep awareness of the sacrifice of soldiers in front of the kids,” she says. “They have been a big help to us.”

And, Kim adds, “We’ve got our affiliate dads, too, who provide muscle power, as well as moral support, when we need it. We would like to thank everyone for what they have done for us, and what they continue to do.”

A new “friend and fundraising idea” currently being discussed is that of a cookbook, which will include favorite family recipes, as well as tips on preparing and packaging food items for shipping.

A big part of what the organization does, but certainly not its main focus, Kim says, is to serve each other through friendship, support and encouragement.

Whether it’s the mom who has three children currently in active duty, such as Kim, or who, like Meleah Coffey, has one son in service and is just joining the group, there is a place for every mother — and enough support to go around.

The Blue Star Mothers of America, Inc. is a non-partisan, non-political, non-profit organization, consisting of mothers who have, or have had, children honorably serving in all branches of the military.

The group’s mission is to provide support for their sons and daughters and their families who are actively serving in the military, and to especially support and care for those who are deployed.

The High Country Chapter, covering Alleghany, Ashe, Avery, Watauga and Wilkes counties, is currently about 30 members strong.

With passion and commitment The mothers are passionate in their mission and take their commitment seriously, says Peri Moretz, who along with Debbie Branch and Kim started the local group.

“We three agreed there needed to be a group in this area for mothers who had children in the military,” says Peri. “Kim, who is now our president, first mentioned Blue Star Mothers, telling us it was a national organization founded during World War II. Women would hang flags in their windows signifying that they had a child serving. Debbie looked into it and got all the paper work done to get us started.”

Even though Peri’s son, Matthew was recently honorably discharged from the Army, (after nearly seven years in the infantry division and now working for ECRS in Boone), she is still an active member of the group.

“It has helped me in many ways, “Peri says. “The other mothers understood how I felt when Matt was deployed. They let me share my thoughts and fears, and allowed me to cry if I needed to.”

Once Matthew came home, she says, she was able to help other mothers whose children were deployed, especially those for the first time.

“Doing things for our military heroes helps us by helping them,” Peri adds. “It gives us a sense of purpose by not only helping our children, but also other men and women who are serving.”

Not only does the group send boxes, cards and letters, Peri says, “We do whatever we can to let them know they were not forgotten. We let them know we love,

support and pray for them.”

Some men and women do not receive boxes, Peri says, “So we always send extra things for our kids to share.”

The mother’s group has invited speakers to attend its meetings to discuss various topics of interest, such as benefits that are available to their children upon discharge and post traumatic stress disorder.

“A retired chaplain came and showed us pictures of what Afghanistan and Iraq looked like,” Peri says, “including the housing our kids live in, the country’s people, the geography and even what a sandstorm looks like. He helped us have a better understanding where our children were.”

Newcomer Sara Rice joined BSM in 2013 upon an invitation from Peri, soon after her son, Robert, left for basic training, “My son graduated WHS in 2012 and left for the US Air Force in April 2013, Sara says. “Following basic training at Sheppard Air Force Base, he left for his first duty station, Misawa Japan, in October of 2013.

He has been overseas for 11 months now.

“Being a part of BSM as been great support for me,” she says. “I took the vicepresident’s role last year to help grow the group and support our men and women who serve this great nation.”

Sara says she loves the excitement the troops experience when they receive the boxes from home.

“My son always waits to open his when we Skype, so I can get pictures of him and see the smile on his face,” she says. “It’s the little things that bring joy to our heroes when they are so far from home. It’s these sacrifices that most people do not understand. When your child steps up to serve, the whole family serves — and makes sacrifices. What we do, as Blue Star Mothers, is our way to honor those sacrifices and to be there for each other as mothers of airmen, marines, soldiers and sailors.”

Any mother in the area who currently has a child or children in any branch of the military, or has had in the past, is invited to join the group at any of its monthly meetings at Perkinsviile Baptist Church on the second Monday of each month.

For more information, contact Kim Isler at (828) 264-1840 or visit www.bsmhc. webs.com sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

SEPTEMBER 2014

19

Hope for tomorrow with

Lisa Erwin Lisa Erwin, standing, center, surrounded by family — Jay, Kaitlyn, and Sam — has learned to take nothing for granted. Photo by Paige Howard

When you talk to Watauga County native Lisa Erwin, her passion for life, her family and her faith are evident.

“I’ve never doubted who I was or who I belonged to,” Lisa says. “I’ve always known that I’m a child of God and that He would take care of me.”

Last year, that faith was tested. On Aug. 24, Lisa’s husband of 20 years, Jay Erwin, was critically injured when a falling tree hit him from behind and left him paralyzed from the chest down.

After being airlifted to Johnson City Medical Center, Jay was transferred to intensive care; Lisa rushed there with their two children, Sam, then 18, and Kaitylyn, 16.

“His doctor told me, ‘If he survives through the night, we’ll fuse his spine back together again,’” Lisa says. “And then, he said, ‘Just pray — and pray hard.’”

The following weeks presented many emotional and physical challenges for

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Jay, one of which was pneumonia.

“Just one lung was doing all the work for two,” Lisa says. “Jay had just run his first marathon before the accident; it was his physical fitness that kept him alive, that kept that lung working.”

Jay spent the next few months in physical, occupational and speech therapy at The Shepherd Center in Atlanta.

“At the hospital in Johnson City, they just made sure he lived,” Lisa says. “At The Shepherd Center, they showed him how to live.”

During the last month of Jay’s rehabilitation, Lisa practically lived with him at the center so, together, they could learn a new way of life. Lisa and Jay were able to go home on December 12 and quickly began to acclimate.

Lisa worked periodically through Jay’s rehabilitation, and eventually resumed working regularly as a dental assistant at Blue Ridge Dentistry. Within six months after the accident, Jay returned

to his customer service job at Blue Ridge Electric Membership Corporation.

Although Lisa and Jay were at home again, they knew their lives, moving forward, would be very different.

“It’s like I’ve lost a helpmate,” Lisa says. “I’ve had to take totally over and pick up a lot of the pace.”

Lisa and Jay were spontaneous people; that kind of flexibility — and other things — have had to change.

“We were ‘fly by the night’ kind of people,” Lisa says, “Now everything’s a lot more structured because of medicines that Jay has to take at certain times, and things like that.”

Additionally, Lisa’s hobbies and lifestyle have changed as a result of the accident.

“We’ve always been outside people,” she says. “We liked to hike and run. Now, we’re inside people. I don’t read or work out anymore because I don’t have the time. The little things, like making sure

we have dog food and keeping the lawn mowed, are my responsibilities, now.”

Lisa can’t deny that this experience has changed her.

“I’m harder,” she says. “I don’t know how to say that any other way. I guess I’m in survival mode. We will survive, and I will do anything in my power to survive.”

Jay’s wellbeing is Lisa’s priority, and as a result, Lisa has become more outspoken through this ordeal.

“You have to become your own advocate and you have to fight,” she says. “I am the person who is going to make sure Jay has a good life. I will make things good for him. That’s my job — that’s what God put me here for, and I’m going to do it.”

In spite of circumstances, Lisa draws encouragement from her husband.

“The thing that is the most incredible about Jay is his faith,” Lisa says. “He never lost his faith. On the day he was hurt, in ICU, he looked at me and said, ‘I’m going to glorify God through all of this.’ I’m inspired by Jay’s strength, his will to live, and his determination. Sometimes I cry and I get sad, but as long as I’ve got him to support me, I’m good.”

Lisa smiles as she speaks of the people who have come forward to help her and her family, and the support they have received from the community.

“My coworkers and Jay’s coworkers have been great,” she says. “Our family and friends have been a great encouragement, and many people have donated

Lisa Erwin and her husband, Jay, are now traveling in a completely different direction than what either of them had planned. Photo by Janice Welsh

to help us. Our friend, Tom Van Gilder, started a fundraiser for us to help raise money for a handicap-accessible van.”

Although much has changed for the Erwin family, some things remain the same. Lisa and Jay are still pursuing an active lifestyle, and Jay has finished three 5K races since his accident.

“He beats me every time!” Lisa laughs.

“I always tell him to let me cross the finish

I want everybody to understand that the reason we are so strong is because our faith is so strong. I want people to know that we are conscious that God has put us in this situation for a reason.

My hopes for tomorrow are as big as they ever were.

- Lisa Erwin

line first just once.”

Lisa’s life is beginning to settle into a pattern, and she is adjusting to her “new normal.”

“When we were at The Shepherd Center, they told us to give ourselves about 18 months to two years to feel ‘normal’ again,” Lisa says. “Jay and I were both very independent people and now we’re together all the time. Thank God we like each other,” she adds.

Throughout the many physical and financial challenges, Lisa’s faith remains unchanged.

“I want everybody to understand that the reason we are so strong is because our faith is so strong,” she says. “I want people to know that we are conscious that God has put us in this situation for a reason.” Lisa smiles as she adds, “My hopes for tomorrow are as big as they ever were.”

Laine Isaacs Laine Isaacs is a Watauga County native and freelance writer. Her favorite things include traveling, dancing, making people laugh, and beating her family at Scrabble.

SEPTEMBER 2014

21

mom’sworld

Coming Up for Air

Summer vacation is that deep breath of restoration that comes in between the doggie-paddle of life through which we all move.

Unfortunately, American culture has created this kind of on-off switch in our lives: We are either working hard in work, school, or home — or we are blissfully indulging in the complete lack of responsibility as sand squishes through our toes.

It seems rare to find the balance of respite and diligence in our day-to-day living.

Having just come off of the sandsquishing time, I find myself bemoaning the return to the rat race, no matter how much I love my job.

Parceling out 30-minute segments of my day — from 5:30 or 6 a.m. until 9 or 10 p.m. at night — is exhausting just thinking about, let alone doing it, but somehow we do it.

I vow to change it, to cut out some things, include or prioritize others, but the hours in the day never seem enough.

Meanwhile, my children have taken to complaining about their abundance

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of time. “I’m bored” has been the broken record from my 7-year-old lately, even when we are actually on the beach. I cannot even fathom the concept of boredom anymore, nor can most of my friends or colleagues.

When I was young, I recall the long summer days that stretched from first light to dusk. My friends and I were outside almost non-stop. There was lots of swimming, walking, biking and creativity.

We were busy, but I remember telling my mother the same thing my son tells me: “I’m bored.” “Play a game,” my mother would say. “Read a book” or “Go outside.”

My friend and I would pout, scuff at the dirt, and ultimately direct ourselves into some several-hour or all day project that became the next best thing to sliced bread.

We wrote plays, stories, guides to torturing younger siblings (no, I’m not kidding), movie scripts, and house plans for a dream mansion, complete with an Elvis Presley room. We developed “I Dream of Jeanie” and “King Tut” jumps into her swimming pool. We mapped out a kingdom in our backyards. Boredom truly did seem to lead to bursts of imagination and physical activity.

I find that nowadays kids are much more likely to gravitate to their electron-

ics, unless we, as parents intervene. For all the fascinating and wonderful things computers can do, there is something to be said for the way in which good oldfashioned “down time” would catalyze inventions and ingenuity.

With age, I can honestly say that finding the mental space to create and contemplate new ideas becomes more and more challenging.

Most women that I know are juggling — at minimum — work, home and parenting roles, and some add on scout troop leader, softball coach and church Sunday school teacher.

The demands tick away at our clocks, and exhaustion builds until the release of the brief, but deep breath of vacation.

Unlike our counterparts in the rest of the world, Americans rarely do more than pay lip service to the health benefits of rest and relaxation; after all, most “normal” Americans cannot afford the time or money to do this more than once or twice a year and, to be sure, frequently pay before and after vacation time with the chaos that seems to be the dues owed

this luxury.

I would love to see our country follow suit, not only with recreation time, but also with postpartum leave for mothers and fathers. Making time to spend with our children seems like a priority worth setting in this country — we should be around to witness and appreciate the great imaginative projects that the next generation develops.

Maybe, when women continue to seek out public office, and remind our communities and country the benefit of both work and family time, the tides will change.

For now, though, I suppose our children will have to “suffer” through their time off as we continue to work on the balancing act. School has started and it’s time to go back to work: Ready, set — go! in order to actually go.

It is not uncommon in other countries that people take off four to six weeks at a time, several times a year, for rejuvenation and travel. Surely, attitudes and productivity would increase if we all had

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions?

828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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23

LivingWell

Helping our Kids Get Healthy

W

e spend a lot of time talking to our kids about the dangers of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. It is just as important to discuss the dangers of an unhealthy diet and lifestyle. An estimated one in five American children is considered overweight. Being overweight leads to heart disease and type 2 diabetes.

Even if your children are not overweight, poor eating habits can seriously impair their cognitive function, their moods and their self-esteem. Bottom line, your family’s eating habits can have a life-long impact on your children’s future success and longevity.

Some things you can do to give your children the advantages that come with being fit include:

Get everyone in the family on board: You cannot expect one child to eat low-fat chicken breast while his lean sister eats pizza with all the works. Everyone in the household should be encouraged to eat well.

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SEPTEMBER 2014

‘

Even if your children are not overweight, poor eating habits can seriously impair their cognitive function, their moods and their self-esteem.

- Bonnie Church

’

Educate children on how to properly fuel their body:

Teens,” by Dr. Mehmet Oz.

A few resources that can help you explain the importance of a healthy diet and develop a family wellness action plan include: “Dr. Susan’s Kids-Only Weight Loss Guide,” by Dr. Susan S Bartell, and “YOU: The Owner’s Manual for

Your goal is to provide your children with foods that are higher in fiber, lower in sugar and free of bad fats, which equate to lots of vegetables, fruits and lean proteins. Great recipes may be found at www.kidscooking.about.com

Keep healthy foods in the house:

Make your house a junk food-free zone: It is OK to enjoy some of the higher fat, higher sugar foods – once in a while, but they should not be a mainstay in your cupboards. If your children do not see

junk food, they will be less inclined to ask for and crave them. Removing unhealthy foods also prevents conflict, because you do not have to say “no’ when they reach for the temptation food.

Limit specialty drinks: Did you know that a 16-ounce “fruit” drink can contain more than 15 spoons full of sugar? That equals the sugar you will find in three pieces of cake. Encourage everyone to drink more water and less sweet stuff.

Get them a water bottle and keep it filled: Brain tissue is 85 percent water. For optimum brain function, your child needs water. Adequate water will also take the edge off sugar cravings.

Don’t do anything else while eating: Distracted eating leads to increased consumption. Make it a rule, except for

special occasions, like family movie night, to eat nowhere but at the kitchen table.

Another exception to the rule is water: Encourage your children to carry their water bottles with them and drink water anywhere and everywhere.

Helping your children live well will support a longer life, a healthy self-image and the satisfaction of achievement. Sounds like something every parent wants for their children.

bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

SEPTEMBER 2014

25

Traci Royster Committed to serve

Traci Royster is one of the most vivacious, compassionate, committed and involved women in the Boone area.

Whether on the campus of Appalachian State University, or in the greater Boone community and beyond, Traci makes a lasting impression wherever she goes. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious and it shows in everything she does.

And she does a lot.

Traci has maintained a constant presence in Boone since coming to ASU as a student in the fall of 1996 from her hometown of Burlington.

“I’ve grown up on this campus,” she says. “I loved it from the beginning and I’ve never left it.”

Receiving her bachelor’s degree in psychology in May 2000, Traci obtained her master’s degree three years later, in human development and psychological counseling, with a concentration in college student development and student affairs.

She has since applied it well as she has climbed the ladder through what she refers to as “progressive experience in higher education” and “diverse experience in student affairs and development;” she has also devoted countless hours and endless energy to numerous fundraising, friend raising and community development projects.

Photos by Sherrie Norris

Traci Royster, described by a colleague, “precisely embodies the school’s marketing line — ‘Making a Difference in the World, One Student at a Time.’”

The golf cart Traci sometimes chauffeurs across campus could easily be her lead car in a parade — and she, serving as grand marshal.

The smiles, waves, quick stops to chat with coworkers and students, are evidence that Traci is well-known and loved at Appalachian.

All for others Examples of her influence have been felt both on and off campus in multiple roles — from fundraising chair for Watauga Education Foundation, chair of the ASU Diversity Celebration committee, serving on the Boone Area Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors, to team captain and committee member for Watauga County Relay for Life — and many others.

Dan Meyer, president of Boone area Chamber of Commerce refers to Traci as “a ball of fire,” who is passionate about students and their families — “and a real cheerleader for ASU.” Meyer adds, “Traci adds great enthusiasm to the Chamber’s board and committees and makes it a point to attend chamber events. Her forte is making folks feel welcomed and important, wherever

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she is at the time.”

Everyone knows “ Miss Traci” and she knows everyone.

Since 2009, Traci has been director of the Parent and Family Services at ASU, with myriad responsibilities — from implementing parent orientation each semester, coordinating special events for students and their families, raising money for the parent fund and the university, as a whole, to overseeing the Parents Association Board of Directors and Parents Association, as well as advising, advocating and counseling families in crisis.

Traci is a familiar face as a representative of ASU on “town and gown committees,” and is also the chancellor’s admissions representative.

She helps build relationships between students, families and the university, and is known for her successful networking abilities across the country.

According to J.J. Brown, associate

vice chancellor, dean of students and Traci’s immediate supervisor, “Traci is a tremendous person, and friend to all whom she comes into contact with on campus, or in our community, to which she gives so much of herself. On campus, she is an outstanding resource to parents and family members and is a gift to our community. I am grateful for the difference she makes each and every day on a personal basis.”

Since her days as a graduate assistant at the Learning Assistance Program, Traci has served in numerous capacities in student support services, has led internship programs, as well as freshman seminars and life/career planning classes, and more.

Traci has made countless presentations, attended and led conferences, has joined professional members — both on and off campus — as well as serving as a consultant at other universities.

One of her highlights, she says, was the 2011 trip to South Africa through ASU’s International Programs to collaborate with South African University partners.

From a colleague’s perspective Christopher Edmonston, a colleague in the Bill Friday Leadership Fellows program, chose Traci as a subject of a class project for which students were assigned during their two-year class: Each person had to visit another classmate and write a story about that person, based upon observation.

In Edmonston’s words, Traci “precisely” embodies the school’s marketing line — ‘Making a Difference in the World, One Student at a Time.’

Traci’s character, passion and dedication were apparent, he noted, in the way she interacted with others — students, in particular. Traci is sincere and earnest, as each encounter proves to anyone who takes the time to get to know her.”

It was the same at church, he says.

It is her motto, Traci says, “To give back and to live each day to the fullest.”

Edmonston wonders, while accompanying Traci across campus, if she ever met a stranger.

“Everyone feels as though they know her,” he notes, “but do they know she is an only child? Do they know that she worries about her mother in Alamance County?

Do they know some of the personal sacrifices she has made to work with them? Do they know that life in Boone can be challenging for her? Do they know that she was the first African-American Appalachian Alumni Council president? Do they know what obstacles she hurdled to earn her two degrees? Do they know?”

What they do seem to know, Edmonston continues, “Is that when they have needed Traci — for advice, for problem solving, for wisdom, or just for fun — she has been present for them.

She is always in a hurry but never seems to rush. She always has a next engagement, a next phone call or a next note.

Time with people is paramount to her.”

Furthermore, he says, “Her colleagues see the value in what she offers, for in a

deadline-driven environment — like university administration and student affairs — someone who is perceived to have time for everyone, like she does, is an irreplaceable commodity.”

She is in constant observation of those around her, never missing an opportunity to lend a hand or ear, as needed.

Many consider Traci, Edmonston says, “the glue which holds this place together.”

Giving back Traci, sharing with AAW, says she realizes the importance of going the extra mile for others, and has been on the receiving end, more than once.

“As an 18-year-old freshman at Appalachian, I was so homesick I thought I would die,” Traci says. “If it had not been for Cindy Wallace, director of the learning assistance program at the time, there’s no telling what would have happened to me. Cindy told me that I was not going home and that I was going to be just fine; she said that I was made for bigger and better things.

I quickly learned that’s the Appalachian way. We take care of our own.”

Traci credits Cindy, too, for keeping her on her career path.

“I kept changing my major from one thing to another, until she finally told me I had to choose one and stick with it,” Traci says.

Today, Cindy, serving as vice-chancellor for student development, says, “Traci’s life is driven by her servant’s heart. She is motivated by helping others and has been incredibly impactful on our campus, assisting students on their educational journey. No problem is too big or too small for Traci to tackle. Traci’s circle of concern extends well beyond the Appalachian campus — we are lucky to have this compassionate spirit in our community, making a difference every day.”

To honor Cindy’s legacy and the impact she has had upon Traci’s life, Traci initiated and coordinates the Cindy Wallace Access to College Endowment Fund, to provide scholarships to students in need.

‘

Traci adds great enthusiasm to the Chamber’s board and committees and makes it a point to attend chamber events. Her forte is making folks feel welcomed and important, wherever she is at the time.

- Dan Meyer President of Boone Area Chamber of Commerce

’

Family influence It was also the love and encouragement Traci received from her parents through the years, she says, that helped shape her into the person she is today.

Although divorced, Traci’s parents always came together for her good. “My mother always had the house that the neighborhood kids wanted to come to,” she says. Tracy learned the importance of team spirit and staying active in her “softball-driven family,” and especially, from her father.

Determined that she get a good education, Traci’s parents always encouraged her to succeed and accompanied her on campus visits as she applied — and was accepted — at five colleges.

“We all agreed that ASU was the right fit,” she says. “We just knew this was it.”

It might not have been her plan to come and stay forever, she adds with a chuckle, “But it was God’s plan.”

A champion of influence As a first-generation college student, Edmonston pointed out, Traci “cham-

pions minority students, and promotes inclusion at every turn — using her power and influence to change lives here every day. She learned those skills here and she passes that legacy on.”

Traci is redefining structures all around her, Edmonston adds, “She moves around campus like a chief-of-staff, touching lives and shaping her culture.”

What drives her, he says, “is a combination of devotion, faith, upbringing and a congenial spirit — the compulsion to build a legacy. It is the drive to succeed as a college administrator. It is a genuine love for education and for students.”

It is evident, too, Edmonston says, that Traci is both advocate and mentor to hundreds, if not thousands.

“It is also clear that they value her advocacy and ideas,” he notes. “How did this happen? What did Traci do to learn the student body and earn their trust?”

Traci sees through the structures in order to do what is best for our students, he wrote.

Former Chancellor Ken Peacock was quoted by Edmonson to say, “There is only one Traci on this whole campus.”

Referring to a Harvard Business Review piece about authentic leadership, he said, “Traci is that person, an authentic leader; you can’t help but love her.”

Beyond her expected role, Traci has written many grants for special programs on campus and has had extensive involvement in the alumni association, serving in numerous capacities from council member to president; the latter, she says, allowed her opportunities to travel extensively around the country and into Africa with the chancellor and vice chancellor of university advancement, helping to raise awareness of and funds for ASU. Traci has held a seat on numerous university task forces and committees, including that of current chair of the Chancellor’s Admissions Committee, various staff and faculty search committees, student recruitment and transition teams, the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, and faculty advisor for several sororities, fraternities and Admissions Diversity Council.

She has also served lengthy terms as faculty advisor for the Ladies Elite Service Organization and the Minority Women’s Leadership Circle. She is an ex-officio member of the ASU Board of Trustees and an honorary member of the ASU Foundation Board; a member of the ASU Board of Visitors, Yosef Club Advisory Board, Appalachian Library Advisory Board, and member, as well as

Traci Royster has maintained a constant presence in Boone since coming to Appalachian State University as a student in the fall of 1996 from her hometown of Burlington.

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past president of the Alumni Council.

Traci has also been an active member in Boone Rotary and Blue Ridge Conservancy.

Most recently, in May, Traci joined the board of trustees for The Crossnore School, something that, because of her passion for children and education, she says, has quickly become near and dear to her heart.

A deep faith Admitting to a “deep faith,” Traci says, “I love the Lord, so spending quiet time with him is imperative.”

Church service and fellowship at Boone United Methodist Church is also important to Traci, she says, where she helps teach the sixth-grade confirmation class, which she says, she “absolutely loves doing” on Sunday mornings and evenings.

Jason Byassee, senior pastor at Boone Methodist, sees Traci as “a terrific leader, a natural leader” in their congregation and on campus, where, he said, “she makes others feel better about the institution just by her presence.” Furthermore, he adds “She has an infectious joy that she can’t keep to herself and blessedly, doesn’t try to. She earns the trust of all those around her. I’m honored to be her pastor.”

Traci is also a member of Sonrise Emmaus Community So, what does she do in her free time, you might ask?

“I love spending time with family and friends, traveling and reading,” she says.

“And, I love volunteering.”

Whether in Boone or in Africa, it’s all because of a passion of one woman determined to make a difference. And she does.

“Giving is at the core of my soul,” Traci says — “and it is one of my favorite things to do.”

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

Traci Royster changes lives, one student at a time.

SEPTEMBER 2014

31

highcountrycourtesies

Recognizing National Courtesy Month

Setting the Standard “Good manners can open doors that education cannot.”

— Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

Although I was raised to be a “Southern lady,” I did not fully appreciate the benefits of that instruction until well into my adult years. Years of extensive travel, and the opportunity to live in various regions around the United States, fully exposed the contrasting effects of people using courteous manners as opposed to people not using respectful etiquette.

From Miami to Denver, to New York City to Los Angeles, I found that the more

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courteously I treated others, the more they stepped up their behavior. Although reactions were not always immediate, those with whom I regularly interacted took notice and responded with respectful gestures of their own.

A public outing today quickly reveals how few persons use basic respect and manners — skills we all should have learned in kindergarten. Perhaps we can all utilize the month of September, which is designated as National Courtesy

Month, to refresh our awareness and observance of courtesy towards others.

Consider how well you currently incorporate the following few basic skills in your lives, and accept my challenge to “kick it up a notch:” Look people in the eyes when speaking to them Eye contact expresses focus and respect, and expresses to the other person that what they are saying is important to you.

Say “please” and “thank you” The first of these two simple expressions shows consideration for others; the second shows gratitude and appreciation.

Apologize Excuse yourself immediately for small infractions and take responsibility for yourself for larger ones.

Practice “present company trumps all media company” When in the presence of others, set aside your media devices and “be here now.” This includes sitting at the dinner table, standing at the store cash register, walking with friends — and similar situations. If you are expecting an important call, prepare your company for that likelihood, then step aside to accept that call, should it come.

Watch for others Employ common courtesies of letting others go first, holding doors for others, allowing others to exit a doorway or elevator before you enter, and offering to carry packages. After all, life is not all about you.

Hone a solid handshake The classic greeting among adults reveals volumes about a person’s selfconfidence. Always stand to greet another person and smile to indicate your pleasure at seeing this person. Look into their eyes to let them know you are focused on them alone. Greet them by name. Offer them a firm, palm-of-hand to palm-oftheir-hand shake; three light pumps, then release their hand.

Introduce others When you are in a social setting with two persons who do not know each other, introduce them by looking at each person as you say their name, then share something about each person that you think the other person may find interesting, or that the two may have in common.

Use good table manners Even in the most familiar, casual settings, chew quietly with your mouth closed, use a napkin and handle silverware appropriately. Practice more formal skills for those special occasions so you will be prepared and comfortable.

Be friendly Take turns, share, smile, wait your turn patiently, and look for ways to honestly compliment others. Life is so much more fun when you do.

Send thank you notes While an immediate text, email or phone call expression of gratitude for those within your casual circle of acquaintances is appropriate, a handwritten note is the more memorable standard for familiar circles and always for formal acquaintances.

While I have truly witnessed how treating others with respect and using proper manners have opened doors, I have, likewise, observed how poor manners and social skills have slammed doors that college degrees and exhaustive experience could not pry open.

Good manners are a solid foundation for pleasant social interaction throughout our lives, attracting others and expressing our inward character. We do not learn good manners by accident, and we must be intentional in using good manners; when we do, our lives and the lives of those around us are richly enhanced.

As I frequently remind my students, using good manners —“treating others as they would like to be treated” — costs nothing, but has a tremendous pay-off.

What standard of courtesy do you choose for yourself?

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2014 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She encourages others to use good manners through High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops, and she is director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net

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Frances Mayes: ‘Under Magnolia’ After many years as a professor in San Francisco, as well as time spent on the restoration of her Italian home, Bramasole, Frances Mayes had a “life-changing epiphany” she says, that established North Carolina as one of the places she currently resides.

On a chance weekend in Mississippi, Frances realized that the “south of her childhood — the soft balm of a southern night, the protection of the sun-spangled leafy canopy and the sun that could melt a bar of gold,” was calling her home.

During our recent interview she explains, “As this desire happened to me, I realized that something had been stirring. Now and then, you find yourself suddenly on a big mysterious X mark, the moment of change, and this was one of those times.”

In her latest memoir, “Under Magnolia,” Frances questions, “I wonder if I have the courage to reimagine the place I fled?”

When asked about the process of looking back into both the beautiful and painful parts of growing up in Fitzgerald, Ga., she explains, “Once I actually found myself back in the South, it felt almost foreign, and at the same time, deeply familiar. The place itself strongly reasserted my deep, physical connections with it — the fecund earth smells, the chaotic chorus of tree frogs, the soaking humidity, the evening light raking across the meadow — and it feels like home.”

In contrast with her Italian memoirs, written about the excitement of discovery, “Under Magnolia,” “is about the deepest workings of memory,” she says.

Throughout her book, Frances writes about the discord in her home as part of the realization that “we were not normal people.” The volatile relationship between her parents, their excessive drinking and the illness of her father, are carefully explored.

Frances describes the difficulty of writing about these events, “At least we were not dull,” she says. “My childhood was chaotic and full of extremes, but I was lucky in many ways. I knew who I was and I just loved, always, the place.” She continues, “Writing a memoir is somehow freeing. You take the pieces of your past and make a narrative. That containment somehow tames the memories.”

Her work carries an incredible resonance about the significance of place and community. “In California,” she says, “I always felt that I was a happy visitor. I loved living there, but I always was a traveler there.”

“Mysteriously,” she describes, “Italy felt like home from the minute I put my basil plants in the ground at a house I rented in 1985. It still does, almost equally, to the South. Those strange connections that say ‘home’ need to be acknowledged when they suddenly arise.”

She also recognizes a duality between Italy and the South, “So much of what I love about Italy, I also experienced as a child growing

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up in Georgia,” she says, “ — the immense sense of hospitality and the way life centers on the table, a small Tuscan hill town and an isolated town in South Georgia, both possess an intense sense of community. Both, also, have a great sense of the absurd and a love of jokes.”

During the timely weekend in Mississippi that Frances includes in the preface of her memoir, she discovered the following quote from William Faulkner’s “Absalom, Absalom” —‘That is the substance of remembering — sense, sight, smell: there is no such thing as memory: the brain recalls just what the muscles grope for.”

Frances explains, “I love this (quote) because it expressed exactly what I wanted to evoke in the memoir: the primitive, bodily memory we all carry, and memory beyond thought that resides in the synapses.”

Furthermore, she says, “In writing memoir, you’re following the white peb-

bles you dropped in the forest, and they lead you straight back to the child who’s still standing there looking at you.”

On July 24, as Appalachian State’s Carol Grotnes Belk Distinguished Lecturer for the summer event series, Frances shared her ideas about the power of place, the joy of discovery, and that life begins anew when “ordinary leaps beyond ordinary.”

She explained that while “Tuscany had its way with me,” it is the South of her childhood that established her love for food, place, nature and imagination.

With humor, she explained the thought that prompted her to continue her journey in a foreign country: “Italy is a 1,000 lifetimes deep. Surely it’s a substitute for just one man!” And further, in describing the joys and challenges of learning a new language, “We loved the words even before we knew what they meant.” Furthermore, she asserted: “You

are where you are — there is a place for delight, joy, excitement and surprise.”

Readers, regardless of their backgrounds, will connect with Frances Mayes’ coming-of-age story as she explores questions everyone must ask: Who am I? Where do I come from? How does this place shape me?

Through the combination of her lush landscape of sensory details and provocative prose, readers will catch glimpses of their childhoods — the fleeting moments of the past we long to hold — while her writing also sparks an excitement for the possibility of future discoveries.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

About the Author Born in Fitzgerald, Ga., Frances Mayes grew up with a love for books and a longing to travel. Both passions have fueled her life as she worked as a professor of creative writing at San Francisco State University, and as she followed her wanderlust to Tuscany, Italy.

The discovery and purchase of a 300-year-old farmhouse, “Bramasole,” along with its five overgrown acres, worked as Frances’ muse, leading to three widely successful memoirs, “Under the Tuscan Sun,” “Bella Tuscany,” and “Every Day in Tuscany.” A film version of “Under the Tuscan Sun,” starring Diane Lane, was released in 2003.

A widely published essayist and poet, Frances has written several books of poetry, including “Sunday in Another Coun-

try” and “After Such Pleasures.” Through collaborative projects with her husband, poet Edward Mayes, she continues to share her love for “the voluptuousness of Italian life” through cookbooks and photo-textbooks.

Her latest memoir, “Under Magnolia” (Crown 2014), Frances examines the places and events that shaped her childhood. The book calls into being the “green terrarium” of life in the South, while “bringing back those vivid, intense lives” of her past.

Frances and her husband divide their time between Tuscany and Hillsborough.

For more information, including readings and events, visit her website at www.francesmayes.com.

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Welcome home

Lynn Gilbert Author Thomas Wolfe was right about a lot of things, but Lynn Gilbert disproves one of his notions: You can go home, again.

Recently joining OrthoCarolina of Boone as a physician’s assistant with a specialty in osteoporosis, Lynn returns to Boone with experience and enthusiasm that many women (and men) are finding to be just what the doctor ordered.

A Boone native who attended Parkway Elementary School and graduated with the class of 1999 from Watauga High, Lynn went on to Appalachian State where she was added to the academic dean’s list while receiving her bachelor’s degree in exercise science. She transferred to Jefferson College of Health Sciences in Roanoke, Va., where she graduated cum laude with her degree in physician assistant studies.

She spent the next nine years as a PA with Virginia Orthopaedic, Spine Surgery as an osteoporosis specialist, during which she started and directed Virginia Orthopaedic Osteoporosis Clinic, “to raise awareness about the disease and its consequences,” she says.

In the meantime, Lynn received her master’s degree in physician assistant studies from the University of Nebraska and did her master’s thesis on osteoporosis treatment.

Lynn Gilbert is delighted to be back in Boone and part of the staff at OrthoCarolina.

Photo by Sherrie Norris

Use it or lose it. We only build bone strength until we reach 30 years of age. After that, we begin to lose bone mass each year. The more we work to keep our bodies strong, the longer our bones will last.

- Lynn Gilbert She was delighted by the opportunity to move “back home” earlier this year, she says.

“My parents still live here, and as grandparents, of course, they are thrilled we are back,” Lynn says. “My sister also lives in Boone and works as a PA at Watauga Medical Center with the general surgery group.”

Her memories of growing up in the Boone area are pleasant ones, she says. “I mostly enjoyed the community here —it’s a small, beautiful town that has so much to offer. The cool weather is also wonderful, both in the summer and winter.”

Her parents, originally from the Winston Salem area, came to Boone to attend ASU, she says. “They loved the area and made it their home.”

Inspired to serve Lynn had no doubt that she wanted to “do something in the medical field,” she says. Upon hearing someone mention the career of physician assistant while she was at ASU, she became interested.

“I shadowed a PA here at Boone Pediatrics and loved it,” she says. “While doing clinical rotations in PA school, I realized I wanted to do orthopedics, which worked well with my background in exercise science and physiology. I was inspired to begin care for osteoporosis patients, once I was saw how common the disease is and how little it is treated.”

Fractures are often life changing for patients, she adds, “so I wanted to work to prevent as many as possible.”

All About Life When asked about her philosophies for life, Lynn’s response is simple: “Enjoy it, as it is a gift from God!” Lynn and her husband, Adam, have been married for 11 years.

“We met while on the track team at ASU,” she says. They have two children, Lanson, a 4-year-old little boy who loves

Batman and Bob the Builder, and Ellie, a 2-year-old little girl “who loves anything her big brother has,” she says.

The family also owns two dogs, a cat and they enjoy playgrounds, sports and vacationing at the beach and lake.

Lynn enjoyes Zumba “as a great exercise routine,” she says, while goodnaturedly admitting to having no rhythm.

“Thank goodness they normally turn off the lights,” she adds.

Adam accepted a position offered to him with Lynn’s father in his business, probably, she says, “so the grandkids would move closer!”

Deciding that family is the most important part of life, the couple knew returning to Boone was the right thing for them to do. “Fortunately, OrthoCarolina was willing to hire me,” she says, “so, I did not have to begin as a PA in a different specialty.”

On behalf of OrthoCarolina, Stephen Fleming, longtime orthopedic surgeon in Boone says, “We are delighted to have Lynn join our practice and believe that she has a lot to offer our patients.”

Why a PA? Lynn loves people and it shows in her work. “I enjoy spending time with my patients, getting to know them and helping them feel better,” she says.

As for any advice she might share with women, Lynn offers, “Use it or lose it. We only build bone strength until we

reach 30 years of age. After that, we begin to lose bone mass each year. The more we work to keep our bodies strong, the longer our bones will last.”

Lynn’s knowledge about and enthusiasm for her profession is well known and has resulted in invitations to speak at numerous healthcare conferences across the country, including most recently, the Virginia Academy of Physician Assistants Summer Conference in Virginia Beach. Earlier, she also presented at the National Physician Assistant Conference in Orlando, instructed students at Stanford University on chronic disease and self-management, and served as committee chair at Jefferson College of Health Sciences.

Lynn is certified through the National Commission on Certification of Physician Assistants, American Academy of Physician Assistants, North Carolina Academy of Physician Assistants, Virginia Academy of Physician Assistants, National Osteoporosis Foundation and the American Red Cross.

Lynn is currently accepting new patients at OrthoCarolna, located at 194 Doctors Drive in Boone. For more information, call (828) 264-1100 or visit orthocarolina.com.

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BEAUTY The next time you’re out and about — shopping, running errands or dining — take note of the brows on the faces around you. Nonchalantly start a brow watch, noticing the wide range of appearances that brows can give the face. No staring allowed, especially at that hairy uni-brow.

If you’ll notice, you will see that some looks are surprised, some worried, some bland and vague, and the possibilities go on.

You will discover that brows provide for an expressive frame that sets the mood of your face. In fact, they are the most important and expressive part of your face.

Getting the right shape will help you send the right message. If you can do so, I advise you to schedule at least one consultation with a professional who can get your brow shape going and make it easy for you to maintain.

Brow care, for most of us, is cursory or nonexistent. I have worked on hundreds of faces and only occasionally have I found naturally occurring beautiful brows. The rest of us can definitely use a few brow grooming tips: • Keep in mind, the length and arch of your brow affects the nose and face shape.

Properly shaped brows have a dramatic effect on overall face shape, opening the center of the face. With that said, stand in front of the mirror and take a good look at your eyebrows. Are you happy with what you see? Can there be improvement?

• Properly shaped brows have a dramatic effect on your overall face shape. Yes, your brows are too important to ignore, and as you can clearly see, they bring balance to your face by opening up the center of your face.

• What about those of us who have begun to experience the phenomena of thinning hair on our head, accompanied by disap-

Watch the brows, gals 38

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pearing eyebrows and lashes — which all seems to relocate to our top lip and chin? In this case since, there are very few sparse hairs left, or in some cases, none, you will need to follow the natural brow line.

• Look at a picture of yourself with brows before “the migration.” Avoid black pencils and opt for a brown/taupe shade, preferably in powder form.

Steps for shaping brows • Begin by brushing brows upward and outward.

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• Place a straight edge along the outside corner of the nose and the inner corner of the eye; this gives you proper inside placement of the brow.

• Place a straight edge along the outside corner of your nose and the outer corner of you eye, which gives you the outside placement of the brow.

• Make a mark with an eye pencil at each spot.

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• Remove hairs that fall outside the line, tweezing in the direction of hair growth.

Steps for applying color • Sharpen pencil or use slant brush for powder.

• Lightly stroke to create tiny, hair-like lines wherever brows need filling or extending.

• Use short diagonal marks and draw in the same direction as hair growth.

• Use an eyebrow brush to gently blend and soften any harsh lines.

• If you’re using a pencil, brush over with powder to soften the look.- For more natural looking brows, use a matte shadow that is two shades lighter than your eyebrows; a shade too dark will look harsh.

Stay beautiful!

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at (828) 262-5954.

SEPTEMBER 2014

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marriageandFamilyCorner

Personal and Relational Integrity

Recently, I heard a man on the radio saying something to the effect of “It may seem like a small thing, but nothing is too small to do with integrity.”

A wealth of related quotes and examples came to mind as I contemplated that assertion, one being Gamaliel Bradford’s observation, “In great matters, men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.”

Merriam Webster defines integrity both as “the quality of being honest and fair” and as “the state of being complete or whole.” In relationship with oneself — and with other people — these two definitions are actually connected: the quality of being honest and fair leads to, and allows, the state of being complete or whole.

Therefore, showing yourself as you wish to seem — and as you truly are — can be more frequently the same, so personal integrity and relational integrity are enhanced.

Much has been described about how essential action is to integrity. We have all heard the maxim that “actions speak louder than words.” Integrity doesn’t exist because of thoughts and intentions. It exists because actions are consistent with promises and agreements, and are true to values held by the person executing the actions, while also being honest and fair. It is in “doing” that integrity is both developed and revealed.

Additionally, personal and relational integrity depend upon one another. That is, a person who maintains integrity within values they hold, that lead them to be dishonest and unfair, isn’t able to have a healthy experience of relational integrity.

For example, a person might value independence to the extent that she or he doesn’t care about how her or his behavior impacts loved ones.

In this example, giving or receiving meaningful feedback is essentially impossible, as is maintaining genuine connections with other people. And, since even the most introverted people are generally social beings, without meaningful feedback and genuine connections, emotional health is threatened.

Therefore, choices made to “get away” with dishonest and unfair actions

through being sneaky — or through being controlling — may lead to getting some of what you want, but they will also lead to a fragmented person and disconnected relationships.

So, seeking to maintain independence without sacrificing connection, and without sacrificing integrity, is a wise effort.

Through my life and 21-year career, I have had countless conversations in which the integrity of a spouse, parent, coworker, boss, friend or other person, is questioned. Unfortunately, these unilateral examinations of the integrity of others are far more commonplace than evaluations of one’s own personal integrity — in addition to that of other people.

We can control the choices we make about with whom we will interact, but we can’t control the actions of other people.

Yet, our own actions and choices are within our own control and are areas where our focus is most powerful.

Since our own actions and choices are ours to control, the reciprocal nature of thoughts, emotions and actions is important to recognize. We generally choose actions based on our thoughts and our feelings. But, it is also true that feelings and thoughts follow actions.

This principle is behind the AA motto of “Fake it till you make it.” That motto doesn’t indicate a prescription or permission to be dishonest; Instead, it means spanning the distance between how we want to seem and how we truly are, by behaving how we want to be, even (or especially) in small, daily matters.

If you want your life and your relationships to be those of integrity, you have to do things consistent with integrity. The key is to choose behaviors that are of integrity, which include fairly negotiating with others — without forfeiting yourself.

Self-respect and genuine connection are two rewards of integrity. Dropping rationalizations, striving despite fears, and regularly examining choices and action open the opportunity for these rewards.

It is a worthy question to ask what you might choose, regarding your own behavior, the next time you find yourself “missing” something.

For example, if you discover that there is a lot of dramatic conflict and overreactions around you, it might be useful to explore ways to behave in more peaceful

ways, both with the people involved in conflict and at other times.

The feeling behind the words “I love you” is not what builds trust within a relationship, nor does it build commitment. Trust and commitment are built by experience of doing and receiving loving actions. Loving and being loved are among the many examples of rewards of behaving with integrity.

‘Integrity doesn’t exist because of thoughts and intentions. It exists because actions are consistent with promises and agreements, and are true to values held by the person executing the actions, while also being honest and fair.’

- Mary mckinney For comments on this article or suggestions for future articles, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc. 828-268-0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828-773-5463 www.mckinneymft.com

SEPTEMBER 2014

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As the sign reads near her office at Crossnore Elementary School, Polly Heafner continues her own tradition of excellence as she has devoted her life to ministering to others. Photo by Hollie Greene.

Polly Heafner

Anticipating God’s Plans 42

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F

or more than four decades, Polly Heafner has served as a loving and devoted pastor’s wife.

Since age 14, she knew she was destined for mission work, but it was years later, when her husband, Lander Heafner, was called to the ministry, that she knew it was all “part of the plan,” she says.

As a young wife and mother of three daughters, Polly worked to help support her husband in his 3½ years of school at Fruitland Bible College. During that time, they also welcomed a son.

With an inexplicable energy, “Ms. Polly,” as she is fondly known, continues to hold fast to her commitment to God, her husband, family and church.

Born in Lincoln County to Elsie and Jesse Davis, Polly was raised as the “baby” of eight children on a farm in the Pumpkin Center community.

Growing up surrounded by people of all ages, Polly was “spoiled” by her siblings, but she says, she also learned that everyone is important, that every family member has needs that must be supported, A young Polly and Lander Heafner knew they were meant for each other when they met on a double date in 1958. Photo submitted. that families must have leaders — “and that trust is vital.”

Polly inherited her love for a gentleman — all the girls liked him.” home. She remembers, soon afterward, God, as well as her leadership skills from Married just after high school graduresponding to a sermon at a women’s her mother, “a very creative woman” she ation, the couple has now shared 56 years gathering about missions, and how the describes, who often whipped fresh cream together.

Lander continues to be “a man work began home — “and not only in from their cow’s milk before breakfast, of integrity who is not afraid to stand up Africa,” she says.

She shared her feelings while Polly picked strawberries, resultfor what he believes,” Polly says, “and a with her group leader, who she met at the ing in homemade strawberry shortcakeman serious about his commitments.” altar again nearly 17 years later, when she biscuits before school.

In the early days, Polly began to work joined her husband as he announced his Polly’s mother taught her children outside the home; the duo worked rotatcall to preach.

Together, she says, they that they might not have wealth, but they ing shifts to provide for their daughters celebrated their commitment to serve. had a good name — and that was better — Donna, Carol and Michelle — and to Polly and Lander, attending diff erent than great riches. make sure the girls were never at home schools, met on a double date during Polly enjoyed school and graduated without a parent. their senior year.

Lander’s date was Polly’s from Lincolnton High in 1958. Never shy The couple purchased a home near best friend; Polly was dating her best or introverted, Polly was active in drama Polly’s family and made time for lake outfriend’s cousin. club and public speaking events. ings and camping adventures.

Attracted more to each other than She “loved interacting with adults When Polly began waking up to distheir designated dates, the two began datand my peers,” she says, and planned to cover that Lander was not in their room ing in February 1958. attend college to become a teacher. during the night, she became concerned, “Lander was the best looking thing I At 14, Polly accepted Christ as her savespecially when sometimes finding him ever saw,” Polly says, “He was popular and ior and was baptized in the creek near her SEPTEMBER 2014

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Polly and Lander Heafner are now anticipating their next step in life following more than three decades in ministry at First Baptist Church, Crossnore. Photo submitted.

staring out a window or scribbling furiously in a notebook.

Soon, Lander told her, he felt God’s call to the ministry.

Donna was 13, Carol 11, and Michelle 9, when Lander began to study at Fruitland Bible College.

Although this was a time of financial struggle, Polly says, “God always provided.”

During Lander’s final year of school, the family welcomed Jesse Michael, named after his father and maternal grandfather.

Soon after Lander completed his degree, the couple moved their family to Taylorsville, where they began Lander’s first pastorate at Pleasant Hill Baptist Church.

During their nine years there, Polly embraced her new role as the preacher’s wife.

She remembered, as a child, “wonderful examples of pastor’s wives” and that they were well loved and cared for,” she says; the idea of becoming a preacher’s wife had “always been a positive thing.”

Recognizing, too, that her life would be transparent for all to see, Polly has

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always maintained an honest and sincere approach, and says, “What you see is what you get.”

She also recognized the importance of surrounding herself and her husband with support and love.

“God blessed us in our lives and in our church,” Polly says of their time in Taylorsville.

Their daughters graduated from high school and two of them married, while the youngest began working.

“We were blessed with a grandson at about the time our son, Jesse, started to school,” she says. “Life was good and we were happy serving where God wanted us.”

A new plan In 1982, Lander was recommended as a new pastor to First Baptist Church of Crossnore, by his director of missions, Jim Lambert.

“The rest is history,” says Polly.

In February 1983, with 11 inches of snow on the ground, Lander, Polly and Jesse made their first trip to Avery County.

“The trees were bare and snow was

piled up everywhere; it was desolate,” Polly says. “We were freezing and afraid to get out of the car.”

Later, in April, on Lander’s first Sunday as Crossnore’s new pastor, it snowed again. “We feared we would never get warm,” Polly remembers.

Leaving behind her parents and oldest children was one of Polly’s most difficult transitions ever.

“It was harder than leaving my parents when I married,” she says. “It was heartbreaking.”

Despite the challenges, Polly quickly became a cornerstone, not only in her new church, but also in the community.

She taught various classes — from children’s church to adult Sunday school — but her heart was always with children and youth.

From her own childhood, she learned the importance of encouraging children and nurturing their talents; she rarely missed attending sporting events, where she cheered and supported the kids.

One lesson Polly learned early as a preacher’s wife, she says, “was that I’m not invincible. I can’t do everything — I need people to lean on, to support and

love me.”

She also had to find a balance, and to establish boundaries, she says, to be her best as wife, mother of four, and eventually, grandmother of six and great-grandmother of five.

“Watching God at work and watching a new generation grow,” she says, has brought her immense joy. “With God’s hand, it has all worked out.”

Polly has continued to work outside the home, and since 1999, as secretary at Crossnore Elementary School.

“I love working at the school,” she says. “I know most of the children by name and I feel it is a comfort to those children to know I am here to help them.”

Her job is like that of any wife and mom, she says, “You are called to wear many hats.”

Polly stays busy, “never stopping,” she says, and tries to take good care of herself by eating healthy.

It’s important, she says, to have friends, prayer partners and confidants.

Many of the women in her church have been there for her, she says, but one best friend, Brenda Hicks, has been a special role model, confidant and advisor since their husbands were in seminary together.

“It is wonderful to be able to pick up the phone and call on someone, knowing they will pray for me, regardless of the situation,” Polly says.

A special Bible verse, 1 John 4:4, has been her anchor and support, “time after time,” she says: “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”

Her husband’s recent retirement, after 31 years at Crossnore, has left the couple with a few unanswered questions, but ones they will take “day by day,” Polly says. “Avery County is my home. I will continue to follow the Holy Spirit — and Lander. You don’t ever stop being the preacher’s wife.”

Observing the horizon as the next phase of life unfolds, Polly says, “I will continue to anticipate what’s ahead.” As she reflects upon the past, she surmises, “I would do it all over again.”

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Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

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Seasons of Change

With yet another seasonal transition upon us, we begin to turn our focus from picnics on the parkway to tailgating at the stadium, from potato salad to potato soup and from grilled chicken to chicken and dumplings.

Funny, isn’t it, how our choices of food are often dictated by the weather?

As your menu planning begins for these cooler days — which remind us that autumn is on the horizon — hopefully we can add a bit of seasonal spice to your life, whether at home or at the game.

Grilled Potato Wedges 4 large baking potatoes ½ lb. butter 2 Tbsp. garlic powder 1 Tbsp. hot sauce 1 Tbsp. paprika or other seasoning of choice 1 Tbsp. salt 2 tsp. ground black pepper Melt butter in a heavy pan over medium heat; add garlic powder, hot sauce and seasonings, stirring slowly to mix completely. Once combined, allow to cool slightly.

Place potatoes in bowl and add butter mixture to coat thoroughly. Place potato wedges on grill to cook. Close lid and turn every 10 minutes or as they begin to brown, which ever occurs first. Cook until well browned and tender when pierced. Use some of the leftover butter mix to coat the grilled potato wedges.

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SEPTEMBER 2014

Savory Chili 2 lbs. ground chuck 1 onion, chopped 1 bell pepper, chopped 1 (14 oz.) can stewed tomatoes 4 (8 oz.) cans tomato sauce 1 (14 oz.) can ranch-style beans 1 (14 oz.) can pinto beans 1 (14 oz.) can kidney beans 1 (10 oz.) can Rotel diced tomatoes 1 (1¼ oz.) pkg. McCormick mild chili seasoning Brown ground chuck in frying pan with onion and pepper. Pour beef mixture and undrained canned items together into a large pot. Cook on medium-high until heated through.

Seems to be tastier on the second day.

Quick Ritz Cookies Ritz crackers Peanut butter Candy coating (white or chocolate) Make a sandwich out of the crackers and peanut butter. Melt candy coating and dip crackers into the chocolate. You will be pleasantly surprised by the taste. Make plenty — they disappear like magic.

Cheese Straws 4 cups plain flour 1 lb. shredded cheddar cheese 1 lb. butter or margarine Pinch of salt Dash of Tabasco sauce Mix all ingredients together. Press through cookie press to form a straw, or roll into ball and flatten with a fork on a cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for about 10-12 minutes, or until lightly brown.

Honey Glazed Snack Mix 4 cups Corn Chex or Crispix 1½ cups mini pretzels 1 cup walnuts or pecan halves 1/3 cup butter ¼ cup honey Heat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl, combine cereal, pretzels and nuts. In saucepan over low heat, melt butter; stir in honey. Pour over cereal mixture; toss to coat. Spread on jellyroll pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes or until glazed, stirring occasionally. Cool slightly, spread on waxed paper. Cool completely. Freezes well.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

SEPTEMBER 2014

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Scenes from The 37th Annual Blowing Rock

PHOTOS BY JEFF EASON

Fashion Show Ladies look for lucky bargains during the Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon’s gigantic silent auction during the Friday, Aug. 1 event.

Savannah and Lillie Troyer stride down the runway as a daughter-mother modeling team.

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SEPTEMBER 2014

Tacky Vosburgh receives a plaque for her service as honorary chairwoman of this year’s Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon.

From left, Betty Pitts, Lynn Lawrence and Blowing Rock Mayor J.B. Lawrence hit the runway as the first models of the fashion show.

Liz Hayes models an ensemble at the fashion show.

Lisa Stripling and Rob Dyer share a smile as they prepare to model fashions at the Blowing Rock Country Club.

Celeste Phillips models the latest fashions at the Blowing Rock Country Club.

Blowing Rock Town Manager Scott Fogleman dons accessories during the annual fundraiser.

Model Cory Bettis with event emcee Gwen Dhing on the runway.

SEPTEMBER 2014

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Photo by Leda Winebarger

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