BLOOM - Perusal

BLOOM was conceived and developed by Working Dog, with further development by Melbourne Theatre Company’s NEXT STAGE Writers’ Program, first produced by Melbourne Theatre Company in 2023 at Arts Centre Melbourne Playhouse, directed by Dean Bryant.

Melbourne Theatre Company 2023 premiere production cast and creative team:

Mrs MacIntyre – Anne Edmonds

Doug – Frankie J. Holden

Rose – Evelyn Krape

Ruby – Vidya Makan

Betty / Chef – Maria Mercedes

Sal / Inspector / News Reporter / Trev – Eddie Muliaumaseali’i

Roland – John O’May

Gloria – Christina O’Neill

Lesley – Jackie Rees

Finn – Slone Sudiro

Director – Dean Bryant

Music Director / Arranger / Orchestrator – Zara Stanton

Choreographer – Andrew Hallsworth

Set Designer – Dann Barber

Costume Designer – Charlotte Lane

Lighting Designer – Amelia Lever-Davidson

Sound Designer – Nick Walker

Assistant Director – Tasnim Hossain

Production Dramaturg – Dean Bryant

Dramaturgs – Matt Edgerton and Jennifer Medway

Voice & Text Coach – Matt Furlani

Original Arrangements by Katie Weston and Ned Wright Smith.

Premiere Production Arrangements by Zara Stanton.

MUSIC 0: PINE GROVE AD (PRE-RECORDED)

The stage is in darkness. We hear the sound of an advertising jingle playing on loop

ADVERTISING JINGLE

IF YOU HAVE A LOVED ONE IN YOUR LIFE IN NEED OF EXTRA CARE

PINE GROVE IS THE PLACE TO BE YOU’LL FIND A WELCOME THERE...

VOICE OVER

Pine Grove - setting new standards in aged care.

Lights up on the reception area of the Pine Grove Aged Care facility where ROSE is seated The advertising jingle starts again

ROSE

(TO HERSELF) You’re kidding me...

ROSE

Annoyed, Rose turns it off using a remote control FINN enters, wheeling a bicycle He takes a seat near Rose

(TO FINN) If that’s not “elder abuse” I don’t what is.

FINN

Hello.

I don’t need help...!

Rose attempts to reach for a magazine on the coffee table Finn, noticing she is a little unsteady, goes to help her

ROSE

Rose continues to struggle She holds out a hand for Finn to assist her He does so

That’s not “help”.

ROSE

Rose takes her magazine and sits back down. A beat.

So, you live here?

FINN

ROSE

Not if I can do anything about it. But the powers-to-be have declared me no longer fit to live at home.

FINN

That sucks.

ROSE

First they took away my license. Said I was “speeding”. Not my fault if everyone else is so slow. Now they’ve taken my house.

FINN

And they want you to move in here?

ROSE

They say it’s just for “respite care”. We all know what that means. Life without parole. I’m Rose.

FINN

Oh, Finn.

ROSE

Finn makes a hand gesture - Rose attempts to replicate it

So what brings you here?

Finn holds up a flyer

FINN

(I saw) this ad. “Free board in return for light duties”.

ROSE

Why would you want to move in with a bunch of geriatrics?

FINN

Well, you know, it’s a good opportunity to help out with a deserving group of… (senior)

Bullshit.

MUSIC 1: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

ROSE

(Yep.) I got kicked out of my place.

FINN

ROSE

(INTRIGUED) Really? What happened?

FINN

Bunch of things. People I was living with started making all these demands

ROSE

Such as?

FINN

Rent. I was planning to get the money, I teach piano part-time

ROSE

(INTERESTED) You’re a musician?

FINN

Studying. At uni. That’s where I saw this ad.

FINN

I’D BE LYING IF I SAID THIS WAS EVER “OPTION A” BUT MY FRIENDS AND MY FUNDS ARE RUNNING LOW SO I FIGURE, “HEY WHY NOT”?

I COULD GIVE THIS THING A SHOT BESIDES, I’VE GOT - NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Welcome to the club.

ROSE

Rose offers her hand

ROSE

They shake hands

I’M NOT HAPPY TO BE HERE, RE-HOUSED LIKE SOMEONE’S PET I’D LIKE TO HAVE A SAY - BUT THEY SAY ‘NO’ SO YOU SIT THERE MEEK AND MILD, AND GET TREATED LIKE A CHILD UNTIL YOU’VE GOT - NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

MRS MACINTYRE enters, clipboard in hand

MRS MACINTYRE

Ah! Here she is! You must be (CHECKING FORM) “Mrs Bonetti?”?

ROSE

Ms. And it’s “Rose”

Of course it is. Welcome to Pine Grove.

MRS MACINTYRE

Mrs MacIntyre consults her clipboard.

MRS MACINTYRE

Now it says here you’ve been deemed “unfit for independent living”? Oh dear, I’m seeing “falls risk”, “mobility concerns”, apparently there was some sort of “fire”?

ROSE

I was cooking

In your bedroom?

Nosey do-gooders.

MRS MACINTYRE

ROSE

MRS MACINTYRE

Now there pet, don’t get yourself in a state. You’re in safe hands here. You may be oldenbut our care is golden!

Rose reaches for Finn’s bike

ROSE

You create a distraction - I’ll make a break for the door

Mrs MacIntyre blocks any escape attempt.

MRS MACINTYRE

No need for that! (INTO LAPEL MIC) Check the front gates are locked. We’ve got a bolter.

Mrs MacIntyre turns to Finn

MRS MACINTYRE

Are the two of you together?

No!

FINN

ROSE

(TO FINN) No need to sound so horrified

FINN

I’m Finn. (HOLDING UP FLYER) I’m here about the ad.

MRS MACINTYRE

You both stay there - I’ll be right back.

Mrs MacIntyre exits.

ROSE & FINN

GUESS WHAT? WE’VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Rose? I’m Gloria And this is Ruby

Welcome to Pine Grove.

Two staff members, RUBY and GLORIA enter

GLORIA

RUBY

GLORIA

If there’s anything we can do to help you settle in?

ROSE

Where’s the bar?

Looks to Ruby, they both laugh

RUBY

Why don’t you come and meet some of the residents? Everyone, this is Rose.

Ruby and Gloria assist Rose to stand and join the other residents: DOUG, LESLEY, BETTY, ROLAND, SALVATORE

GLORIA

(TO ROSE) We have an exciting activities program There’s gentle exercise classes

DOUG

“Sit and Get Fit”

“Ladies Embroidery Club”

“Stitch and Bitch”

Not to mention Morning Melodies

GLORIA

LESLEY

GLORIA

Betty sings, loudly and badly

BETTY

Aaaaaaah!

Gloria notices Finn for the first time

GLORIA

Oh, you must be Finn? (LOOKING AT WATCH) We were actually expecting you about an hour ago

FINN

Yeah, it was traffic (HOLDING UP FORM) I’m here about the Residency Program

RUBY

(TAKING FORM) The what? I thought we said “no” to that idea?

GLORIA

Ruby, we need more staff

“Trained” staff

It’s just a trial

RUBY

GLORIA

RUBY

(READING FORM) “Assisting with domestic duties”?

FINN

Is there a problem?

RUBY Yes

GLORIA No

Mrs MacIntyre returns, clipboard in hand

MRS MACINTYRE

Now, I believe it’s “Mr Bailey”? I must say you come with excellent references. (READING) “Straight-A Pupil”, “a keen interest in aged care”

FINN

(BLUFFING) Sounds like me...

If you could just sign here...

Mrs MacIntyre hands Finn a form.

MRS MACINTYRE

Finn looks at the form

FINN

I’m not actually a “qualified care-assistant”

MRS MACINTYRE

It’s just a technicality And initial here

Finn signs as requested.

MRS MACINTYRE

Excellent. (LOOKING AT WATCH) Well, I won’t keep you from your duties.

FINN

Sure, I’ll just unpack

MUSIC 2: CHASING THE CLOCK

Now!

Wow Is she always like that?

MRS MACINTYRE

Mrs MacIntyre exits Finn turns to Gloria

FINN

GLORIA

No, sometimes she can be in a bad mood. Anyway, welcome to Pine Grove. Any questions?

FINN

Sure. (LOOKING AT HIS PHONE) What’s the wi-fi password?

Ruby turns away (clearly unimpressed). Finn turns to Gloria

Something I said?

FINN

GLORIA

She’s a little... busy. To be honest, we all are.

FINN

Yeah?

GLORIA

EACH DAY STARTS JUST LIKE THE ONE BEFORE QUARTER TO LATE, KEY-CODE AT THE DOOR

RUBY

PICKING UP LAUNDRY AND HANDING OUT PILLS WORKING DOUBLE SHIFTS JUST TO PAY THE BILLS

RUBY & GLORIA

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MINUTE IT’S A RACE AND YOU’LL NEVER WIN IT WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK

GLORIA

Why don’t I show you around ?

Gloria takes Finn on a ‘tour ’

GLORIA

This is our Ever-Green wing (ASIDE) Some of our more “active” residents.

Gloria turns to the residents.

GLORIA

Good morning! How are we all feeling today?

DOUG

CAN’T QUITE SAY IT’S THE LIFE THAT WE CHOSE

ROLAND

ALARMS ON OUR WRISTS, NAME-TAGS ON OUR CLOTHES

BETTY

STUCK IN THIS PLACE WITH THE ROOM CLOSING IN

LESLEY

WONDERING WHEN DID THIS ENDING BEGIN?

ROLAND, LESLEY, DOUG, BETTY BUT WHEN YOU’RE FACING THE CLOCK YOU LEARN TO SAVOUR EVERY MINUTE THE DAY MOVES SLOW, BUT AT LEAST YOU’RE IN IT WHEN YOU’RE FACING THE CLOCK

GLORIA

Everyone - this is Finn. He’s coming to stay with us (TO FINN) Perhaps you can just start by getting to know a few of them?

FINN

(SLIGHTLY HESITANT) Okay...

Go ahead - they don’t bite!

Most of us don’t have teeth.

Are you from the university?

That’s right.

GLORIA

DOUG

Betty approaches

BETTY

FINN

BETTY

My son is a professor. He’ll be in to visit later. I have to get ready.

Betty moves off Finn approaches Doug

FINN

G’day, I’m Finn

Doug. So you’re moving in with us?

I guess.

Doug offers his hand.

DOUG

FINN

DOUG

One piece of advice. Watch out for Betty. She’s a little “light-fingered”

FINN

Okay. Which one’s “Betty”?

The one holding your bag.

DOUG

Doug indicates Betty (who is indeed now holding one of Finn’s bags). Finn attempts to retrieve it. Gloria retrieves his bag.

GLORIA

Betty! Darling. It’s not for you.

(Betty exits)

LESLEY

I must say, it’s so nice to see a young face round here

Lesley places her hand on Finn’s cheek

LESLEY

You have beautiful contours

Do I...?

The things I could do with your mouth

FINN

LESLEY

DOUG

(EXPLAINING) Lesley’s a painter. (TO LESLEY) You gotta say that up front love

LESLEY

(LAUGHS) Oh, sorry.

G’day, I’m Finn.

FINN

Finn notices Salvatore nearby He goes to shake hands

GLORIA

This is Salvatore He’s not much of a talker - are you Sal?

Roland is reading the newspaper (Exit Salvatore)

ROLAND

Ignoramus

Unlike Roland...

GLORIA

ROLAND

When did grammar become an optional extra?

GLORIA

Roland, this is Finn He’s moving in with us

ROLAND

Abandon hope all ye who enter.

It’s not that bad Roland!

GLORIA

ROLAND

(APOLOGETIC) Of course not my dear.

(TO GLORIA) Well, they all seem...

“Interesting”? You’ll get used to it.

How long have you been here?

FINN

As Gloria turns her back Roland motions “ run ” to Finn

GLORIA

FINN

GLORIA

It was a six month contract. That was eight years ago.

GLORIA

NEVER WOULD HAVE CALLED THIS MY DREAM CAREER BUT I’VE GROWN TO LOVE BEING ROSTERED ON HERE SURE, I HAD PLANS BEYOND THESE WALLS BUT THREE KIDS AT HOME - RIGHT NOW “DUTY CALLS”

GLORIA & RUBY

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MINUTE LATE FOR THE DAY BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN IT

GLORIA, RUBY & RESIDENTS

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK

CHEF (Betty double) passes through. Gloria stops her.

GLORIA

Oh, Chef? This is Finn. He’s moving in with us.

CHEF

So?

GLORIA

I just thought we’d let you know of... (TO FINN) any dietary requirements?

FINN

Oh, I’m pretty much pescatarian

(DISDAINFUL) You’re what?

CHEF

FINN

You know, sort of vegetarian. But I’ll eat fish.

CHEF

Will you?

FINN

Yeah, I just prefer a more plant-based…

Meat’s fine

FINN

Chef takes a step towards Finn Finn wilts

Chef turns and exits

GLORIA

I’ll have a word with her.

Thanks. So what do you need me to do?

FINN

Gloria picks up several bags of linen

GLORIA

How about you get these to the Kitchen?

Sure.

FINN

GLORIA

Oh, and while you’re there can you find Betty?

FINN

The one on the scooter right?

(NODDING) She’s got your phone.

Seriously, this is not going to work

Ruby, give him a chance.

GLORIA

Finn takes the laundry bags and heads off. Ruby looks on, disapprovingly.

RUBY

GLORIA

RUBY

We need qualified staff, not... (DISTRACTED) shit!

Ruby spots TREV (Salvatore double) with a mop

RUBY

Trev? This floor - it’s filthy

Just a bit of dust

TREV

RUBY

(SUSPICIOUS) Has she cut back on cleaning hours again?

TREV

Relax, I’ve got it covered

Covered in what?

RUBY

Mrs MacIntyre steps to the P.A.

MRS MACINTYRE

Attention all staff. Team meeting will commence in 5,4,3,2,...

Mrs MacIntyre steps towards the staff with a stop watch and clipboard.

MRS MACINTYRE

One. Let’s make a start. Now, who’s in Room 17?

RUBY

It was Mr Kappley .

I thought he died?

He passed away. On Tuesday

That was a week ago

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

We usually give families a few days to collect possessions

MRS MACINTYRE

We’ll need to change that. (WRITING ON CLIPBOARD) From now on it’s 48 hours.

Speaking of “changes”...

MRS MACINTYRE

AS OF NEXT WEEK EVENING MEAL WILL BE BROUGHT FORWARD TO 4.30PM

RUBY

Dinner? At 4.30?

It’s practical.

It’s lunch.

MRS MACINTYRE

GLORIA

MRS MACINTYRE

It will allow us to “stream-line” catering staff hours.

RUBY

You mean “reduce”?

MRS MACINTYRE

WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE A FEW MORE CUTS

But...

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUTS” I’M NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING DRASTIC

RUBY

How about two residents to a bed?

MRS MACINTYRE Perfect!

GLORIA SHE WAS BEING SARCASTIC

MRS MACINTYRE

(It’s) still worth considering

We’re short-staffed

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

Not any more We’ve just signed up a perfectly qualified new employee

Mrs MacIntyre gestures towards Finn who is being dragged behind (or on?) a mobility scooter (driven by Betty)

FINN

Whoah! Stop!

Found her. So, what else needs doing?

FINN

Finn manages to stop the chair

GLORIA

Well, you see those old folks?

Gloria indicates residents.

GLORIA & RUBY

YOU GOTTA WAKE THEM, THEN MEDICATE THEM SIGN ALL THESE FORMS AND THEN BACK DATE THEM

RESIDENTS

BOOK OUR PHYSIOS, OUR PSYCHIATRISTS OUR DENTISTS AND OUR PODIATRISTS

GLORIA & RUBY SOME NEED HELP TO DRESS OR TAKE A SHOWER

RESIDENTS

JUST GET US UP AND WE’RE ON OUR WAY

FINN

IT SOUNDS LIKE A FULL-ON DAY

GLORIA

GUESS WHAT? THAT’S JUST YOUR FIRST HALF HOUR

STAFF & RESIDENTS (& MRS MACINTYRE)

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY MINUTE

LATE FOR THE DAY BEFORE YOU EVEN BEGIN IT

STAFF & RESIDENTS

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK

RUBY READY TO COME WHEN ANYONE PAGES

ROSE & FINN

NOW THERE’S NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

STAFF & RESIDENTS

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK

GLORIA

MAXIMUM HOURS FOR MINIMUM WAGES

ROSE & FINN

NOW THERE’S NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

FULL CAST

WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK WHEN YOU’RE CHASING THE CLOCK

MRS MACINTYRE

Alright, let’s not stand around all day

Mrs MacIntyre turns to Rose who is seated

MRS MACINTYRE

How about we get you settled in love?

ROSE

It’s Rose. And I haven’t actually said yes to this.

MRS MACINTYRE

(TO FINN) They’re often a little confused for the first few days

ROSE

I can hear you.

MRS MACINTYRE

It’s for the best pet. (UNDER BREATH) And it’s not like you’ve got anywhere else to go.

Finn approaches Rose.

FINN

You okay?

Looks like I’m stuck here for now.

Welcome to the club.

MUSIC 3: I JUST NEED A BREAK

ROSE

FINN

Finn walks to his room

FINN

It consists of a spartan single bed, a side table and chair He takes a seat - something feels odd Finn picks up the chair - to reveal it is a commode. He starts to unpack his bag - including a slightly wilted marijuana plant in a pot - which he places forlornly under a desk lamp

HERE WE GO AGAIN, SAME OLD STORY

ME STARING IN A ROLE I SEEM DESTINED TO PLAY ANOTHER STELLAR START BEFORE IT FALLS APART I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY

FINN

HERE WE GO AGAIN - WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED IT?

I’M SURE I SWORE THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT - STARTING FROM TODAY BUT THIS PATTERN KEEPS REPEATING, DID I SOMEHOW MISS A MEETING?

I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY

IS THIS GONNA BE THE STORY OF MY LIFE? RIGHT NOW I’M RUNNING OUT OF EXPLANATIONS LOOK AT ME, “THE BOY MOST LIKELY” TO FALL SHORT OF EXPECTATIONS

‘CAUSE I NEED, I NEED, I NEED, I NEED, I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY

Finn makes a call on his phone

FINN

Yo Marco - what’s good bro? It’s Finn. You mentioned a while back, you might have a spare room? (DISAPPOINTED) Sure. No problem. Just thought I’d ask. Actually, I’ve got another call coming through

Finn hangs up and takes the new call

FINN

Hello? “Stephanie”? Oh, from the Music Faculty.

Finn mouths “shit”

FINN

Yep, I’m almost done on the term assignment, I was just wondering about a tiny extension? Yeah, that’s right - “special consideration” What “grounds”? Oh, um

Finn looks round for an excuse He picks up his (now almost dead) cannabis plant

FINN

there’s been a death in the family Thanks, anyway gotta go Gotta grieve

Finn hangs up

FINN

HERE WE GO AGAIN - FEELS LIKE I’M DROWNING TERM PAPERS OVERDUE, AND BILLS I’LL NEVER PAY I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE USE IS, I’M NOT LOOKING FOR EXCUSES I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY I JUST NEED, I NEED, I NEED, I NEED A BREAK A BREAK, I JUST NEED

FINN

Hang on. Maybe...

Nuh

FINN

IS IT MY FAULT? AM I TO BLAME?

MAYBE THE BUCK STOPS WITH ME IS IT FINALLY TIME, TO ACCEPT THAT I’M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY

FINN

FINN

I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY

Finn turns out the light and lies on his bed

MUSIC 3A: AFTER JUST NEED A BREAK

Mrs MacIntyre makes an announcement via the P A

MRS MACINTYRE (P.A.)

(SWEETLY) Attention residents Due to unforeseen circumstances today’s Gardening Club excursion has been postponed

General disappointment from the Residents DOUG, LESLEY, ROLAND & ROSE What?/Again?/That’s a pity/Really?

Mrs MacIntyre holds the microphone away from her mouth

MRS MACINTYRE (ANGRY) Shut up!

The Residents shut up as directed. Mrs MacIntyre turns back to the microphone.

MRS MACINTYRE (P A )

(SWEETLY) Those interested in horticulture are welcome to check out our pot-plant display in the foyer Oh, and there’s been a few changes to this evening’s menu I’ll let Chef explain...

Chef speaks to the residents

CHEF

Soup of the Day is Mushroom

It was mushroom yesterday

DOUG

CHEF

Then it’s Soup of the Week. And for main course we’ll be serving “Vegetarian Surprise”

LESLEY

What’s the “surprise”?

It’s beef.

CHEF

Ruby is with Rose They are going through a photo album

RUBY

And this is in India?

Goa I taught there for almost two years

ROSE

RUBY

That’s a beautiful photo, you’re glowing.

ROSE

One for the funeral booklet?

RUBY

I’m sorry we won’t be getting out again this week Rose

ROSE

It’s not your fault.

Our bus has broken down

Here you go

RUBY

Ruby hands Rose some pills and a glass of water

RUBY

ROSE

All I seem to do these days - take pills. Not sure why.

You have a heart condition

RUBY

Ruby hands a second pill

ROSE

Pills, ramps, rails. It’s like being bubble-wrapped. Do you know they took away my cigarettes?

RUBY

We had to.

You set fire to one bed...

We just want you to be safe.

ROSE

RUBY

ROSE

Maybe I don’t want “safe”. If you think too much about falling you’ll never climb. So what about you sweetheart? What are you hoping to climb?

RUBY

Nothing really

How long have you been here?

Almost a year

You like it?

ROSE

RUBY

ROSE

RUBY

I do. But I don’t like the way we treat people. Ever since the new owners there’s been all this cost-cutting

ROSE

Can you say something?

RUBY

Who’s goin to listen? I don’t have any real qualifications. Like, business or management. I have thought about going to uni.

ROSE

So, what’s stopping you?

RUBY

Bunch of things. It would mean going part-time here. Then there’s the cost. My parents, I sort of help out at home

ROSE

Fair enough. I certainly wouldn’t be here if I had the money to escape.

A beat

RUBY

And... maybe I’m just scared of making a mistake

MUSIC 4: MAYBE IT’S TIME

Oh sweetheart

ROSE

Rose sings to Ruby.

ROSE

WHAT’S THE POINT OF RISKS IF YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THEM? AND WHAT’S THE POINT OF CHOICES IF YOU’RE TOO AFRAID TO MAKE THEM? DON’T THINK TOO HARD, JUST GRAB A COIN AND TOSS IT GO FIND YOURSELF A LINE - AND CROSS IT MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY “YES” MAYBE IT’S TIME TO TAKE A CHANCE TO FORGET ABOUT WHO’S LOOKING - AND JUST DANCE MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY “YES” YOU DON’T NEED A MAP, JUST TO SET OUT ON YOUR OWN WHAT’S A FEW WRONG TURNS IF THEY’RE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE? DOUBTS ARE NEVER WORTH THE TIME WE GIVE THEM AND DREAMS WILL DRIVE YOU MAD UNTIL YOU LIVE THEM SO MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY “YES” MAYBE IT’S TIME TO TAKE A CHANCE TO FORGET ABOUT WHO’S LOOKING - AND JUST DANCE MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY “YES”

ROSE

Your future is there for the taking

RUBY

Yeah, but it’s different for you You’ve done so much

And you can too.

ROSE

RUBY

BUT WHAT IF I GET IT WRONG?

ROSE

YOU PROBABLY WILL

RUBY

I MEAN REALLY, BADLY, WRONG

ROSE

NOW THAT’S A SKILL

RUBY I DON’T HAVE YOUR COURAGE

ROSE

YOU CAN LEARN IT

AND IF I REALLY SCREW UP?

RUBY

ROSE

LET’S CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN YOU BURN IT

ROSE

Sweetheart, get out of your own way.

ROSE

STOP PLAYING IT SAFE, A NEW DAY HAS BEGUN SO GRAB YOURSELF SOME SCISSORS - AND RUN

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY

“YES”

RUBY

ROSE

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO TAKE A CHANCE TO FORGET ABOUT WHO’S LOOKING - AND JUST DANCE

ROSE & RUBY

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY ‘YES’

ROSE

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO SAY

This line cut off by Finn (wearing nothing but boxer shorts) chasing Betty (who has stolen his bag)

FINN

No! Give it back. We’ve been through this...

Jesus - what time is it?

FINN

RUBY

Finn manages to retrieve his bag He rubs his temples - a just woken up look

Half an hour after you were supposed to be on duty.

FINN

Yeah (LOOKING FOR EXCUSE) It was, you know

RUBY

Traffic?

Yep I mean, no My alarm didn’t go off

FINN

Mrs MacIntyre looks on disapprovingly.

MRS MACINTYRE

Oh Mr Bailey - kindly put some clothes on I’m quite certain our residents do not wish to look at (INDICATING HIM) that

Several of the residents lean in for a better view. Betty leans so far off her scooter she has to be restrained from toppling over.

ROLAND

Speak for yourself

Mousaka!

BETTY

Finn speaks to Ruby.

FINN

What do you need done?

RUBY

We gave you a list last week. (TO GLORIA) I should have stapled it to him.

GLORIA

Perhaps you could give us a hand in here?

FINN Sure

GLORIA

Maybe put some pants on first?

Now, where were we?

This month’s budget

Finn leaves to put on his track-pants Mrs MacIntyre consults her clipboard and speaks to Gloria and Ruby

MRS MACINTYRE

GLORIA

MRS MACINTYRE

Yes. I’m still not happy with it. We seem to be spending a lot on food.

GLORIA

It’s the only thing they’ll eat

But “salads”? “Fresh fruit”?

It’s healthy

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

It’s expensive! (CATCHING HERSELF) And, difficult to manage. Old people don’t want to do all that chewing. Let’s look at soup, tinned.

GLORIA

Mrs MacIntyre, I was wondering if you’d had a chance to look at our Leisure and Lifestyle proposals?

Gloria hands over a folder

GLORIA

I’ve found some new activities we might be able to introduce. There’s walking groups, a community garden program

MRS MACINTYRE

Sounds costly. (CATCHING HERSELF) And we don’t want to tire them out. Look at them

Mrs MacIntyre looks towards Roland

MRS MACINTYRE

Is that one dead?

Roland snorts - wakes himself up

MRS MACINTYRE (Phew)

GLORIA

We could at least visit the park?

Why would they need to visit a park?

MRS MACINTYRE

ROSE

Because we’ve been stuck in here for weeks

The other Residents hubub

MRS MACINTYRE

Now there pet, don’t get yourself in a state.

The other Residents join in

DOUG, LESLEY, ROLAND, BETTY

She’s right/it’s true/let us out/it’s been weeks

MRS MACINTYRE

Enough! (CATCHING HERSELF) I mean, there’s... safety issues

ROSE (SKEPTICAL) In a park?

MRS MACINTYRE

Hay-fever Wild dogs What if someone leapt from the bushes and exposed themself?

LESLEY

Sounding better every minute

GLORIA

But in terms of their psycho-social health we... (need to get out)

MRS MACINTYRE

Oh, psycho-social health, spare me the jargon! Half of them don’t even know what day it is.

Mrs MacIntyre exits, dropping the folder Gloria gave her (it is grabbed by Betty). Finn has returned (in pants)

FINN

(REFERRING TO MRS MACINTYRE) Bad mood?

GLORIA

We’ve seen worse.

Okay, what do you need done?

Oh Any chance of some music?

(SKEPTICAL) On that?

FINN

Gloria looks around She spots the old piano

GLORIA

FINN

RUBY

No, there’s a Steinway in the hall Yes! “That”

FINN

I dunno It’s not quite (good enough)

Here, let me give it a bash.

Doug takes a seat at the piano.

DOUG

Doug starts to play “Chopsticks” (badly) There are groans and complaints from the other residents. Doug stops.

RUBY

(TO FINN) Happy?

Alright...

Finn (reluctantly) sits and plays Bach’s Prelude in C Major.

MUSIC 4A: BACH 1

Ah! Now that’s more like it.

The residents respond, gathering around.

ROLAND

BETTY

(TO FINN) My son, he take me to concerts all the time. He’ll be in to visit later.

Ruby guides Salvatore to a chair near the piano

RUBY

Salvatore, come and sit down here. (TO FINN) He loves music - don’t you Sal?

DOUG

Sounding good son. Know anything with a bit more of a beat?

ROLAND

Quiet! It’s Bach you Philistine

DOUG

Who you calling a “Philistine” ya’ poncy shit?

An argument breaks out between Doug and Roland (”Quiet!/You’re the one talking”) Ruby and Gloria attempt to separate them Finn uses the opportunity to step away from the piano (and into his bedroom)

MUSIC 5: I JUST NEED A BREAK (REPRISE)

FINN

THESE PEOPLE AND THIS PLACE

I’M NOT SURE THAT I CAN FACE ANOTHER DAY I JUST NEED A BREAK TO GO MY WAY

Unseen by Finn, Rose enters. She notices the marijuana plant.

Doing a spot of gardening?

ROSE

FINN

(DEFENSIVE) What? No... that’s just... a weed.

ROSE

I think the indefinite article might be somewhat superfluous

FINN

(NOT UNDERSTANDING - NODS) ...what?

ROSE

So, how are you settling in?

FINN

Oh, you know. It’s not great. But I don’t really have many options.

ROSE

You can’t move home?

FINN

Nah. Me and my Dad... He thinks music is a shitty career choice

ROSE

And Mum?

FINN

She... passed away (ROSE: Oh). But I’ve made some calls, there’s a chance something may come up

Rose takes a seat on the edge of Finn’s bed. There is a pause.

ROSE Well?

FINN

“Well” what?

ROSE

This would typically be the moment you ask me how I’m doing

FINN

Oh yeah - sorry. How are you... (doing?)

ROSE

I think it’s the loss of control. They tell you when to wake up, what to eat, what to wear. This is not even my cardigan...

Finn reads the label on the cardigan

FINN “Roger”

ROSE

I think I must have his old room. (SHUDDER) It’s like being in kindergarten. And the walls... I’d do anything just to get out. See a show. See the sun. Anyway... that’s enough from me.

Rose hands Finn a book of music

ROSE

For you

FINN (READING) “Chopin Etudes”

ROSE

Every pianist worth their salt should learn them.

FINN

These annotations You play?

Those days are behind me.

Thanks Rose.

ROSE

FINN

Rose attempts to stand Finn moves to assist

I don’t need help.

ROSE That’s not help

ROSE

Finn waits a beat Rose accepts his hand

FINN That’s not help

As Rose exits she points to Finn’s plant

Oh, and that pot-plant...?

(NERVOUS) Yeah?

It needs fertilizer

MUSIC 5A: AFTER BEDROOM

ROSE

FINN

ROSE

Mrs MacIntyre steps to the microphone

MRS MACINTYRE (P.A.)

Attention Residents. Due to circumstances beyond our control there will be no psychologist visit this week. Anyone with mental health concerns will be offered their choice of selfhelp magazine or scented pillow.

Ruby and Gloria enter

RUBY

He clocks on late, finishes when he wants, no regard for anyone else

GLORIA

Ruby, you’re not giving him a chance.

RUBY

It’s been six weeks.

At least he’s now wearing pants.

More’s the pity

GLORIA

ROLAND

GLORIA

And he seems to keep the residents amused

RUBY

Ha! He leaves that bike of his in the corridor What if someone tripped over it? He shouldn’t be here

GLORIA

I told you, we need more staff

RUBY

He’s not “staff”. He’s a self-indulged little shit. And he’s just going to end up causing more trouble

Ruby is cut off by the sound of a fire alarm. General panic. Mrs MacIntyre rushes in

MRS MACINTYRE

Fire alarm! Don’t panic! Where’s the petty cash tin? Don’t panic! Don’t panic! Why are you panicking?

The alarm stops Trev enters

TREV

It’s okay, it’s okay.

What happened?

It was just one of the smoke detectors

What set it off?

Smoke?

(SUSPICIOUS) Whose room?

MRS MACINTYRE

TREV

MRS MACINTYRE

TREV

MRS MACINTYRE

Trev tries to stall

TREV

Gee, kind of hard to say...

It was mine.

Could have been her ’s

Rose…? Are you alright?

ROSE

Rose enters (drenched in water?)

TREV

RUBY

Well I won’t be needing a shower

(STERNLY) Hand them over.

ROSE

MRS MACINTYRE

A beat. Rose hands Mrs MacIntyre a packet of cigarettes

MRS MACINTYRE

You know that smoking is banned here

ROSE

Everything’s ‘banned’ here.

And where did you get these?

Found ‘em

It was me.

MRS MACINTYRE

ROSE

FINN

MRS MACINTYRE

Well, thanks to you two we’ll now have to pay for a fire inspection, not to mention the clean-up costs. As a result, tomorrow’s shopping excursion will be cancelled.

DOUG, ROLAND, LESLEY & BETTY

What?/No.../You Can’t/That’s not fair

MRS MACINTYRE

Well you should have thought of that before you decided to break the rules.

Mrs MacIntyre exits Rose turns to the others

Sorry about that folks

ROSE

DOUG

It’s Betty I feel bad for She hasn’t been shop-lifting for weeks

BETTY

I want to get something nice for my son He’s coming to visit later

Everyone, head on back to bed.

GLORIA

The Residents head off as directed. Ruby turns to Gloria

RUBY

What did I tell you? He’s trouble. You realize she’s going to use this as an excuse for more cuts?

GLORIA

I know

We’ve got to say something

It’s not that simple

RUBY

GLORIA

RUBY

But if we just stood up to her! Tell her “no more cuts”

GLORIA

(SNAPS) Ruby, It doesn’t work that way. I’ve been here for eight years, I’ve seen a lot of young people like you come and go and I know what happens. You stand there, you ask for change and then you piss off and leave me to pick up the pieces.

Ruby is stung

GLORIA

Sorry That was a shitty thing to say

RUBY

I just don’t think it’s fair You should be running this place!

GLORIA

This place

MUSIC 5B: BEFORE BEST IS YET TO BE

GLORIA

I want to make it better too...but sometimes you just have to get up, come to work and try and keep it going.

RUBY nods and GLORIA goes to door.

(HEADING OFF) You good?

(SMILES) Well, good enough.

MUSIC 6: THE BEST IS YET TO BE

GLORIA

RUBY

Gloria leaves.

RUBY

ANOTHER DAY DONE BOXES TICKED PROGRESS CHARTED ANOTHER DAY DONE. AND I'M HERE, WHERE I STARTED. JUST CIRCLING ROUND, KICKING UP DUST FROM THE SAME OLD GROUND WHEN DID MY “CERTAINS” ALL TURN TO “SORT OF”? HOW MANY PLANS WILL I FALL SHORT OF?

YOU DREAM ONE DAY THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE AND YOU’LL WAKE UP TO SOMETHING NEW BUT THEN “ONE DAY” COMES AROUND AND IT’S STILL THE SAME OLD YOU

BUT I KNOW THAT “GOOD ENOUGH” IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME GOTTA KEEP MYSELF BELIEVING THAT THE BEST, THE BEST IS YET TO BE

ANOTHER DAY DONE ANOTHER SUN SETS AND WHAT HAVE I GOT TO SHOW? ASKING MYSELF ‘IS THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS’? AND PRAYING THE ANSWER IS ‘NO’ FOR GOD’S SAKE - GUESS WHAT?

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO ACCEPT WHAT YOU’VE GOT GUESS THAT I SHOULD TOUGH IT OUT, SUCK IT UP THEN I GET IN MY HEAD – AND FUCK IT ALL UP IT’S GOOD ENOUGH IT’S NEAR ENOUGH IT’S NOT ENOUGH (OOOH) SO GIVE ME A CHANCE, GIVE ME SOME ROOM SHOW ME THE SUN I’LL BE READY TO BLOOM I WON’T LET MYSELF STOP BELIEVING THAT THE BEST IS YET TO BE NO I CAN’T LET MYSELF STOP BELIEVING THAT THE BEST, THE BEST IS YET TO BE

MUSIC 6A: AFTER BEST IS YET TO BE

Doug, can you take the pose again?

How’s this?

I really would prefer you naked

Trust me - you wouldn’t

Lesley is painting Doug

LESLEY

DOUG

LESLEY

DOUG

ROLAND

When I was on the stage we always insisted on signing a no-nudity clause

Finn, walking through, looks at the painting.

Looking good mate.

FINN

Betty turns to Finn

BETTY

My son is a painter He’ll be in to visit later I have to get ready

Betty exits Finn turns to Gloria

Hey, can I ask about Betty’s “son”...?

We’ve never seen him.

FINN

GLORIA

Lesley tries to squeeze paint from an empty tube. She holds up her hand in pain.

LESLEY Ow!

DOUG

(CONCERNED) You okay?

LESLEY

Damn arthritis. I might need to take a break.

No worries.

DOUG

Lesley speaks to Doug

LESLEY

They’re showing a movie in the lounge this afternoon. Care to watch it with me?

DOUG

This afternoon? Sure. I’ve got a few things on. See how I go...

LESLEY

Missed out...

I reckon she likes you mate

You reckon?

And you?

Lesley exits

FINN

DOUG

FINN

DOUG

Oh yeah She’s a very special lady I remember the day she got here My old ticker was racing, I felt light-headed, shaky

FINN

Sounds serious

DOUG

Turned out to be low blood sugar But you’re right I was sort of smitten

FINN

So, what happened?

DOUG

Nothing’s really come of it. She’s sort of reached out a few times, but...

FINN

“But” what?

DOUG

Well, after Nancy - my wife - I didn’t think I’d ever, you know… To find someone special twice in your life. I’m not sure I deserve that

‘Course you do.

FINN

DOUG

You think I should talk to her about my feelings?

FINN

Yeah, sure.

Ooooh

I mean, whenever. No rush

I am 82.

Yeah, yeah - talk to her.

Hey.

Where are you going?

Uni.

What about morning tea?

I’ve eaten

DOUG

FINN

DOUG

FINN

Finn starts to head out He passes Ruby

FINN

RUBY

FINN

RUBY

FINN

RUBY

(I meant) for the residents You’re rostered on

Finn has clearly forgotten

FINN

Aah! Alright - let me make a quick call...

Finn exits Ruby looks annoyed

He’s hopeless

Don’t be so positive

RUBY

ROSE

RUBY

The way he just cruises through this place like none of us exist Then it’s “off to uni”

ROSE

And what about you? When are you off to uni?

RUBY

(CONFIDENTIAL) I got an offer For next semester

ROSE

That’s wonderful news. So, now all you’ve got to do is say...?

RUBY

Yes

No!

Finn and Ruby almost collide

FINN

Finn takes a cup of tea to Roland who reads out loud from his book

ROLAND

“Come what come may, Time and the hour runs through the roughest day”

FINN

What’s that?

Roland holds up the book he is reading

ROLAND

Just spending some time with the Bard

FINN

You were an actor, right?

That was a lifetime ago.

ROLAND

FINN

(READING COVER) “William Shakespeare - The Complete Works”

ROLAND

A treasured gift.

Who’s “Andrew”?

Someone who was very special

Were you married?

FINN

Finn looks at a name written on the inside cover

ROLAND

FINN

ROLAND

Not an opportunity ever afforded us Back in our day one didn’t advertise that they were “otherwise inclined” Unlike your generation with their L’s and G’s and BTS’s It’s like a cat walked over a typewriter

FINN

You must miss him?

ROLAND

Not a day goes by We met at the theatre (HOLDS UP PAGE) This was one of his favourites “The play that must not be named”

Doug leans across and reads from the book’s cover

DOUG

Macbeth?

Quiet! You plebeian

ROLAND

DOUG

Who you calling a “plebeian”? And what does it mean ya’ poncy shit?

Doug and Roland begin to tussle over the book

DOUG

It’s Macbeth He’s reading Macbeth Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!

What the hell is going on in here?

We’ve got it under control

Doesn’t look like it.

And what’s he doing out of his room?

Salvatore likes to be with us.

Lesley tries to defend Doug, Rose helps Roland Ruby and Gloria attempt to de-fuse the situation

ROLAND

Stop saying it! You mustn’t say it!

Mrs MacIntyre rushes in

MRS MACINTYRE

GLORIA

MRS MACINTYRE

Mrs MacIntyre notices Salvatore

MRS MACINTYRE

GLORIA

MRS MACINTYRE

Oh , please. He’s got no idea who you are

GLORIA

But we know who he is

I beg your pardon?

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

They really need to get out. If we can just fix the bus...

MRS MACINTYRE

You leave that to me. I’ve got budgets to meet. Speaking of which... (CONSULTING CLIPBOARD) What’s this? “Paints”?

GLORIA

They’re for Lesley. Her art.

MRS MACINTYRE

She’s almost eighty. Get her a colouring book.

ROSE

You can’t keep treating us all like this

MRS MACINTYRE

Now there darl...

It’s “Rose”. R.O.S.E.

ROSE

MRS MACINTYRE

...don’t get yourself in a state. Have you had your pills this morning?

ROSE

I’m sick of pills

We’re worried about your heart

At least I’ve got one.

MRS MACINTYRE

ROSE

Residents “Ooooh’ Gloria speaks to Mrs MacIntyre

GLORIA

If we could just organize some lifestyle activities.

MUSIC 7: EVERYTHING I DO

MRS MACINTYRE

For god’s sake! Buses, paints, fresh fruit (SNEERING) “lifestyle activities” You people have no idea what all this costs

MRS MACINTYRE

DAY AFTER DAY, I LIVE TO SERVE AGED CARE IS MY LIFE’S VOCATION BUT IN TURN YOU’LL LEARN THAT RUNNING THIS PLACE CALLS FOR MORE THAN JUST DEDICATION

IT TAKES FISCAL RIGOUR, DILIGENCE, A CAN-DO ATTITUDE A KEEN DISTASTE FOR WASTE, A LITTLE LESS ON FOOD A BALANCED BUDGET’S ALL I CARE ABOUT MAINTAINING AND IT PAINS ME SO TO KNOW SOMEONE ROUND HERE MIGHT BE COMPLAINING. BECAUSE...

EVERYTHING I DO - I DO FOR THEM FINDING FRUGAL ORDER IN MAYHEM IF WE STAY AFLOAT THE CREDIT IS ALL MINE SO EACH OF YOU CAN KISS MY BOTTOM LINE EVERY EXTRA CENT, EVERY DOLLAR WE’VE NOT SPENT MEANS THAT WE CAN TRULY SHINE LIKE A BRIGHT, PRECIOUS GEM EVERYTHING I DO, I DO FOR THEM

MRS MACINTYRE (CONSULTING CLIPBOARD) Why are we still checking the residents twice nightly?

GLORIA

To make sure they’re safe

There’s a call button

But what if they have a fall?

Then they can fall on the call button

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

MRS MACINTYRE IF YOU CAN’T FIND SOME COSTS TO TRIM THERE’S PLENTY OUT THERE WHO COULD AND IF OUR PROFIT MARGIN’S FLAT THEN WE’LL HAVE TO TRIM SOME FAT DO I MAKE MYSELF UNDERSTOOD?

TREV

Not really...

Good.

MRS MACINTYRE

Eh !

MRS MACINTYRE

EVERY CUT I MAKE - I MAKE FOR US WHY GO WASTING MONEY ON SOME SILLY BUS? YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE CHALLENGES I FACE THE FIGHT TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON IN THIS PLACE WHILE I’M BALANCING THE BOOKS, DEALING WITH PSYCHOTIC COOKS

CHEF

MRS MACINTYRE

GIVING ALL THAT I’VE GOT I DO THE LOT. WITH NO FUSS EVERY CUT I MAKE I MAKE FOR US

BUT IT’S MY JOB, I’LL NEVER STOP THOUGH IT CAN BE LONELY AT THE TOP YOU SEE NO ONE’S DOING ANYTHING FOR ME

TREV

Ohhhh, that’s sad.

Don’t give her sympathy!

So, just remember

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

Mrs Macintyre is thrown a walking stick. She drops it

MRS MACINTYRE

EVERYTHING I DO - I DO FOR YOU RESIDENTS AND CARERS, EVEN CLEANERS TOO

TREV

Thank-you

Back me up!

MRS MACINTYRE

MRS MACINTYRE & ALL WASTEFULNESS IS REPREHENSIBLE

MRS MACINTYRE AND IT’S SURELY COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU’RE ALL DISPENSABLE

RESIDENTS & STAFF WE KNOW, WE ARE DISPENSABLE

MRS MACINTYRE IF YOUR PROFLIGATE WAYS FALL BENEATH MY PRUDENT GAZE

MRS MACINTYRE THEN I’LL BE FORCED TO REACT

MRS MACINTYRE IT’S A FACT

MRS MACINTYRE

YES IT’S TRUE

RESIDENTS & STAFF IT’S A FACT

RESIDENTS & STAFF

YES IT’S TRUE

MRS MACINTYRE EVERYTHING I DO, I DO FOR YOU

STAFF & RESIDENTS EVERYTHING, YES EVERYTHING I DO, I DO FOR YOU

MUSIC 7A: AFTER EVERYTHING I DO

Ruby is giving Rose a manicure - as she speaks to Gloria. (Finn is working nearby)

RUBY

Can you believe that crap? “Wastefulness”?

GLORIA

She’s always worse round this time of year

RUBY

All we’re trying to do is make peoples’ lives a little more comfortable.

Ruby rubs a little hard with the nail file

Ow!

Sorry Rose. Is your finger okay?

ROSE

RUBY

I’ve got nine others

What do you mean “this time of year”?

ROSE

FINN

GLORIA

Annual inspection. It’s coming up next month

FINN

That’s a good thing right?

Not really

GLORIA

FINN

But if they find out what’s going on here things might improve?

RUBY

He’s right.

GLORIA

He’s not. If they “find out what’s going on” then we could get shut down. And our residents end up god-knows-where. At least here they’ve got each other.

FINN

(UNDERSTANDING) Right.

Someone wanted to see me?

CHEF

Finn heads over to a lounge chair Chef enters

GLORIA

Oh yes. Rose was wondering about having a glass of wine.

CHEF (SCORNFUL) “Wine”?

ROSE

With our dinner

You’re just asking for trouble

No, we’re “asking” for wine

CHEF

ROSE

Or maybe a beer?

Sparkling!

What’s wrong with juice?

DOUG

ROLAND

CHEF

LESLEY

We’re not children. We just want a drink.

GLORIA

(TO CHEF) To help complement your meal

DOUG

Or help us forget it.

CHEF

What if you drank too much and had a fall?

ROSE

Then we’d go down happy.

CHEF

Request denied. Now, if you’ll excuse me - tonight’s dinner won’t micro-wave itself.

Chef exits as Trev enters

TREV

G’day Chef

Out of my way

CHEF

Trev starts vacuuming. Finn (relaxing in an armchair listening to music on his headphones) is annoyed by the noise He takes off his headphones

(SHOUTING) You gotta do this now?

FINN

Trev turns off the vacuum.

TREV

I gotta do the whole the place

Can you start over there?

What?

Ow!

Sorry Rose.

(HOLDS HAND UP) Eight...

(TO FINN) “Start over there”?

What is your problem?

Careful mate...

MUSIC 8: PEOPLE LIKE YOU

FINN

RUBY

Ruby is still trimming Rose’s fingernailsshe nicks a finger again

ROSE

RUBY

ROSE

RUBY

FINN

TREV

RUBY

My ‘problem’ is the way you treat us all like shit And the way you treat this place like it’s just somewhere to dump your stuff

FINN

Look, I’m just asking for a little peace

RUBY

Oh, I’m sorry

RUBY

ARE WE DISTURBING YOU? WHILE YOU LIE THERE IN THE DARK WITH YOUR MOZART AND YOUR BACH

FINN

It’s Chopin.

RUBY

SOME OF US HERE HAVE WORK TO DO.

FINN

Listen, I pull my weight

WHAT? YOU’RE LAZY

I DO MY FAIR SHARE

RUBY

FINN

RUBY AND YOU’RE CRAZY.

FINN I put in

RUBY

How?

I PICK UP THE LAUNDRY

OH, SPARE ME

I EMPTY THE BIN

FINN

RUBY

FINN

RUBY RARELY

Finn points at Trev

FINN

WELL I HELPED HIM MOP

When?

TREV

RUBY

CAN WE GET A BALLOON DROP?

Finn rubs his temples

FINN

Listen Florence Nightingale.

That’s not good

You know your problem?

I suspect I’m about to find out

TREV

A sudden frosty silence. Ruby is clearly not happy.

RUBY

FINN

RUBY PEOPLE LIKE YOU THINK THE WORLD OWES THEM A LIVING PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE ALL TAKING AND NO GIVING

I give up - does that count?

FINN

RUBY

ANYTHING YOU WANT, SOMEONE ELSE CAN FETCH IT WHAT’S A FRIENDSHIP FOR, IF YOU CANNOT STRETCH IT? PEOPLE LIKE YOU PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

FINN

Yeah?

Yeah...

Well

RUBY

FINN

FINN PEOPLE LIKE YOU, WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED

RUBY

Is that so?

FINN

PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN NEVER JUST LET THINGS SLIDE WHATEVER WE DO, YOU’VE ALREADY DONE IT NOTHING’S EVER RIGHT UNLESS YOU RUN IT PEOPLE LIKE YOU PEOPLE LIKE YOU

RUBY

Yeah?

FINN Yeah

GLORIA

Alright kids, let’s play nice

FINN (SLIGHTLY WORRIED) She started it

RUBY

PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEVER PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE’S NOTHING YOU’VE EVER STOOD FOR PEOPLE LIKE US ARE LEFT DOING THE JOBS THAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU THINK THEY’RE WAY TOO GOOD FOR Ruby angrily picks up Finn’s music, bag

FINN

My stuff...

RUBY

YOU WANT YOUR THINGS BACK? WHY DON’T YOU COME GET THEM? OUR EXPECTATIONS WERE LOW, BUT BUDDY - YOU MET THEM YOU’VE HAD IT ALL ON A PLATE.

FINN

What...?

RUBY

NO, WAIT AND IF THINGS GO BAD YOU’LL JUST MOVE HOME WITH MUM AND DAD

FINN

Okay. Stop there.

RUBY

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO SAY “PLEASE”?

FINN

WOULD IT HURT YOU TO SAY “THANKS”? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME

RUBY

I CAN FILL IN THE BLANKS

YOU THINK THAT I’M RICH?

FINN

RUBY

YOU THINK THAT I’M A BITCH

FINN

WELL LET’S GET ONE THING CLEAR

RUBY & FINN

I’VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING HERE

(A beat. This is the first time they realize they have something in common).

RUBY & FINN

PEOPLE LIKE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE A CLUE LET’S MAKE ONE THING CLEAR

FINN

I’VE GOT NO IDEA

I’VE GOT NO IDEA

WE’VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE EVEN DOING HERE

Best entertainment we’ve had all week

RUBY

RUBY & FINN

DOUG

MUSIC 8A: AFTER PEOPLE LIKE YOU

Finn is playing the piano, practicing Chopin’s Etude No 1 He stops playing to write something on his sheet music He notices Salvatore standing close (gets a fright)

MUSIC 8B: CHOPIN #1

Jesus Hello

FINN

No response from Salvatore.

BETTY

Sounding wonderful darling. My son’s a pianist you know. But I think you might be a little better.

FINN

(NOT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION) Thanks.

Finn starts to play again Rose, who has been sitting nearby with her eyes closed, speaks.

Stop!

(SURPRISED) What?

ROSE

FINN

ROSE

You’re playing without any feeling. There’s accented notes in every one of those arpeggios. But you’re gliding over the top without any nuance.

BETTY

Come to think of it, she might be right

FINN

(TO BETTY) Sorry, can I have a bit of space here...?

Betty steps away Rose comes over to the piano and turns the pages of Finn’s music

ROSE

Try something slower Number Three

ROSE

Finn plays the opening bars of Chopin’s Etude No 3.

He barely gets a few notes out before Rose interrupts, pointing to the music

“Lento ma non troppo ” . You’re letting it drag sweetheart.

Finn starts Etude No 3 again

ROSE

Okay, you’ve got three voices there. Right hand melody...

Finn plays the right hand melody

ROSE

Left hand accompanies...

ROSE

Finn plays the left hand Rose points to the music score

But can you see that semi-quaver passage? It’s like a third voice It should sit between the melody and the bass

Finn plays this

ROSE

Now try layering the melody back on top...

You’re dragging again...

ROSE

Finn tries this. He gets barely a few notes out before Rose cuts him off.

ROSE

This is the final straw Finn closes his sheet music book and starts to get up (Betty steals the book )

Really? You hit something hard and just walk away?

FINN

I just need a break

ROSE

No, you need a kick in the bum. Look, you’ve got talent. You’re not as good as you think you are - but you could be.

Rose taps the side of the piano.

ROSE

What I’d do to hear a concert grand again

FINN

There’s recitals every week at Uni.

And how would I get there?

Oh. Yeah...

Keep practising Lento

ROSE

FINN

ROSE

Rose starts to leave

FINN

Got it. Oh, Rose - I wanted to tell you. I might have found somewhere to stay. With some people from uni.

ROSE

Well done.

FINN

It’s just, I don’t have to take it. I could stay on here for a bit

ROSE

Why would you want to hang around with a bunch of geriatrics?

FINN

But, what about you?

ROSE

I don’t need help Get out of this place If that’s what you want

FINN

(UNSURE) Yeah...

Rose exits Finn sits and thinks

MUSIC 8C: BEFORE STORY

A new day forms. Gloria is helping the Residents prepare for an outing (jackets, coats etc.)

GLORIA

Come on everyone, the bus leaves in five minutes

LESLEY

I’m ready to go now!

Doug notices Lesley is dressed for the occasion

DOUG

Phoaarrrr...! (CATCHING HIMSELF) I mean, doesn’t Lesley look lovely everyone?

Mrs MacIntyre enters

MRS MACINTYRE

You wanted to see me?

RUBY

Yes. We just had a call from some reporter

Ruby takes a piece of paper out of her pocket

RUBY

They want to do a story on us. (READING FROM PAPER) Our “student accommodation scheme”

MRS MACINTYRE

(ALARMED) What?

We’re gonna be on telly!

DOUG

MRS MACINTYRE

No one is going to “be on telly”! I do not want a news crew anywhere near this place! (CATCHING HERSELF) I mean, there’s our residents’ privacy to consider Call them back

Mrs MacIntyre exits.

GLORIA

Alright, we should get moving. Has everyone got something warm? Doug, it’s a little chilly outside

DOUG

Oh, we’re not toddlers

Has everyone been to the toilet?

Actually, that’s a good point.

GLORIA

DOUG

Doug, Roland, Rose and Betty make a move towards the bathroom Trev enters

TREV

Um, I’m afraid there’s been some bad news. The bus won’t start.

ALL RESIDENTS

What?/No/You’re kidding/not again (etc )

TREV

However, on the plus side...

What?

I was hoping you’d have something...?

We were promised an excursion.

To the art gallery

We’re really sorry Lesley.

GLORIA

TREV

ROLAND

LESLEY

RUBY

GLORIA

But you know what? We can create our own art here Everyone - it’s Crafternoons time!

DOUG

Oh, not Crafternoons?!

Why don’t we all grab some scissors?

I wouldn’t be handing out weapons

A disdainful silence from the residents

GLORIA

ROSE

GLORIA

Look, I know you’re disappointed, but we just have to make the best of it.

ROSE

Yes, yes, you’re right

GLORIA

Who else feels like joining in? Betty? Lesley?

LESLEY

No

Roland? How about you Doug?

I’ll give you a hand

(ANNOYED) Oh for god’s sake!

GLORIA

Doug moves to assist.

DOUG

Doug stumbles - and knocks over a tray of cups (or similar). Gloria and Lesley move to assist him

FINN

RUBY

(BOTH BARRELS) What gives you the right!

FINN

He shouldn’t be lifting (stuff like that)

RUBY

“He”? His name’s Doug. Doug had a stroke last year. That’s why he’s sometimes a bit unsteady.

FINN

Well how was I supposed to know that?

RUBY

By taking the time to find out. Instead of just walking past these people like they don’t exist. Everyone here is dealing with something. That gap between who they are and who they used to be You’ve just got to take the time to listen

Ruby bends to clean up the mess. Chastened, Finn goes over to Doug.

Sorry about that Doug.

FINN

DOUG

Nah, you’re right. I’m a clumsy old fool. Son, do you know the hardest thing about being in this place?

FINN

Crafternoons?

DOUG

(CLOCKING JOKE) No one needs you.

MUSIC 9: THE STORY OF MY LIFE

DOUG

I USED TO BE THE BLOKE WHO COULD FIX ANYTHING IF A CAR WOULDN’T GO OR YOU HAD A DOOR HANGING LOW I WAS THE FELLA THEY’D RING. I COULD UN-BLOCK A DRAIN, MEND A MOWER, FIX A FAN LEAKING PIPE? I WAS YOUR MAN ALWAYS GOOD WITH MY HANDS

DOUG

That’s how I met Nancy. Her folks’ washing machine packed up. Fixed it in half an hour. But pretended it needed more work. Kept coming back for a week. She had a smile that could light up a room.

DOUG

WE GOT MARRIED, FOUR KIDS RAISED ‘EM WELL BUILT A HOUSE, BUILT A HOME, LIFE WAS GOOD THE DAYS WERE LONG, BUT YOU’D WAKE UP NEEDED JUST ASK FOR DOUG - AND I’D DO WHAT I COULD

DOUG

Not much I couldn’t turn me hand to. Then Nancy got sick. I couldn’t fix that. Fuckin’ useless. All I could do was rub her back. Until the end. When even that was no longer needed. Kids have got their own lives - don’t see so much of them any more.

DOUG

LOOK AT ME NOW SHUFFLING AROUND THIS PLACE A DODDERY WASTE OF SPACE

AHHHHHH...

ALL

DOUG

GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY OF MY LIFE

GLORIA

Doug, you are not a waste of space.

LESLEY

And there’s plenty of people here who need you round.

FINN

What about you Rose? You used to be a teacher right?

ROSE

St Loyola. Number one in the state. For teen pregnancies.

ROSE

I TAUGHT MUSIC AND FRENCH, THE GIRLS CALLED ME “MADEMOISELLE” WEEKDAYS WE’D GO TO MASS, WEEKENDS, WELL, I’D GO TO HELL NOW I’VE TRAVELLED ALL OVER THE WORLD FELT LIKE THERE WAS SO MUCH TO SEE I NEVER MARRIED. THEY’D SAY “YOU DIDN’T FIND THE RIGHT ONE” I SAY “THEY NEVER FOUND ME” BUT WHO HAS TIME FOR REGRETS? I’VE GOT ALL THAT I NEED. GIVE ME WHISKEY AND CIGARETTES AND IF YOU’RE GOING DOWNHILL - LET IT BE AT FULL SPEED.

ALL

AHHHHHH

ROSE

I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY OF MY LIFE

Lesley sings

LESLEY

AT ART SCHOOL YOU START WITH STILL LIFE DRAWING BOWLS OF FRUIT, JUGS OF WINE, A LOAF OF BREAD BUT I FOUND DOING FOODS KIND OF BORING SO I MOVED ONTO NUDES INSTEAD IT WAS IN SPAIN WHERE I FIRST MET ANDRE HE WAS A SCULPTOR, I WAS HIS MUSE WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS JUST A FANCY WORD FOR SOMEONE AN ARTIST SCRE

Gloria cuts her off.

Thank-you Lesley!

BETTY

THE LIFE I LEFT IS WASHED AWAY LIKE FOOTPRINTS ON A BEACH THE LAND I LEFT - I SEE IT NOW SO CLOSE. SO OUT OF REACH I FORGET MORE THAN I CAN REMEMBER I TRY TO REMEMBER IT ALL BUT THE DAYS GO BY EVER SO SLOWLY WHEN YOU’RE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL

ALL

AHHH...

BETTY

I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY OF MY...

Roland sings ROLAND MY LIFE HAS BEEN A CAVALCADE OF PREMIERES, THEATRES PLAYED CURTAIN CALL I’D TAKE IT FOURTH WALL I’D BREAK IT AND IF THE REVIEWS WERE BITING WE’D JUST BLAME THE LIGHTING AND THEN PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE NOW WHAT DO I CARE?

GLORIA

IF I NO LONGER STAND IN THE SPOTLIGHT’S GLARE? AT LEAST I CAN SAY I WAS THERE

DOUG

I was there

I was there

I was there

I was there

LESLEY

ROSE

BETTY

ALL

I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY

LESLEY WHEN DID I START ACTING MY AGE?

DOUG

BUILT A HOUSE, BUILT A HOME

ROLAND

LET ME TAKE THAT CURTAIN CALL

DOUG

SHE HAD A SMILE THAT COULD LIGHT UP THE ROOM

ROSE I WANT TO GROW OLD DISGRACEFULLY

ROLAND AT LEAST I CAN SAY I WAS THERE

BETTY WHEN YOU’RE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CALL

ALL THAT’S THE STORY BEHIND THESE EYES AND MOTTLED SKIN THERE’S A LIFETIME BOTTLED IN THESE ARE OUR MEMORIES, THE PROOF OF US MAKING UP THE TRUTH OF US I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY

I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY I GUESS THAT’S JUST THE STORY OF MY LIFE

MUSIC 9A: AFTER STORY

A P A announcement is made

P.A.

Attention all residents Today’s Meditation and Mindfulness Group is now meeting in the main lounge area

Gloria is conducting a therapy session with Doug, Lesley, Betty and Roland. Trev is nearby mopping the floor

GLORIA

Alright, is everyone comfortable? We’ll just start with some gentle breathing exercises. Let’s all close our eyes...

The Residents close their eyes. Trev walks into a table (or similar)

GLORIA

Not you Trev.

Sorry.

TREV

GLORIA

Relax the shoulders, feel the stress leaving your body. Nice deep breaths. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. And in again. And...

They are interrupted by Doug snoring

GLORIA (GENTLY) Doug?

LESLEY (GENTLY) Doug?

BETTY

(LOUD AND INTO HIS EAR) Doug!

DOUG

(WAKING WITH A START) Ah! What happened?

LESLEY

You were snoring.

She said “nice deep breaths”

DOUG

GLORIA

Okay, now that we’re all relaxed… (let’s)

ROLAND

Speak for yourself

GLORIA

Let’s all share some thoughts or reflections. How are we all feeling today?

BETTY

Older. Slower

GLORIA

There’s no doubt aging has its challenges.

ROLAND

But it sure beats the alternative.

LESLEY

You know the funny thing about getting old? You don’t really notice it happening.

General agreement from the other residents

BETTY

One day you wake up with a few new aches and pains

DOUG

You can’t do half the things you used to

ROLAND

You start repeating yourself

It’s a struggle to just get out of bed

You start repeating yourself

LESLEY

ROLAND

DOUG

But it isn’t all bad. You learn to not take anything for granted

LESLEY

Or anyone.

BETTY

You stop trying to be someone you’re not. And just accept who you are. Ruby enters and speaks to Gloria

RUBY

Have you seen Rose?

No...

GLORIA

RUBY

She’s not in her room and not in the dining room. I think she’s missing.

MRS MACINTYRE (ALARMED) Who’s missing?

RUBY

Rose.

MRS MACINTYRE

What? We’ve got the inspection this week She can't do this to me, the old bag

DOUG

She’s not “missing” - she’s gone out

Sorry Doug?

For an adventure

What sort of “adventure”?

GLORIA

DOUG

MRS MACINTYRE

MUSIC 9B: WHEELCHAIR BIKE ENTERS

On cue Finn enters - riding a modified tandem bike (a wheelchair attached to the front of a bicycle) with Rose up front

Rose! Where have you been?

RUBY

ROSE

Out. With Finn. He took me to a recital at the university.

MRS MACINTYRE

What?

Big buildings you learn things there

ROSE

MRS MACINTYRE

But (INDICATING BIKE) on this contraption? Is it even roadworthy?

FINN

Doug?

Doug holds up a wrench

DOUG

I was a bit worried by about that axle.

FINN

(THUMBS UP) You did a great job.

Finn and Doug exchange a “high-5” (badly) Mrs MacIntyre leads Rose away

MRS MACINTYRE

Come on, let’s get you back to your room Have you had your blue pill today, dearie?

ROSE

No dearie, I don’t like those blue pills They make me foggy

MRS MACINTYRE

You heard what Doctor Patrick said Now let’s be a good girl

ROSE

(AS SHE IS TAKEN AWAY) Thank you Finn.

FINN

No worries.

(TO MRS MACINTYRE) Furball

ROSE

I heard that!

Alright, give it to me.

MRS MACINTYRE

Finn turns to Ruby.

FINN

RUBY

(NOT REALLY ANGRY) You should have asked.

FINN

Rose really wanted to get out.

RUBY (CONCEDING) She did look pretty happy

FINN

After the concert we sat in the park and shared a (MIMING A CIGARETTE)

RUBY

Finn!

FINN

Nothing caught fire! She loved it. (BEAT) I loved it.

Finn and Ruby share a look Sal approaches

RUBY

How’s it going Sal? Come and have a seat

FINN

Does he ever say anything?

RUBY

Used to When his wife would visit But after she (you know)

FINN

Died?

RUBY

Passed away he rarely speaks. He really needs one-on-one care. Stimulation. But we don’t have the time Besides, (LOOKING ROUND) she prefers to keep him medicated

FINN

Why?

RUBY

So he can be classified as “extra-needs” - and billed at higher rates.

Ruby’s pager goes off.

RUBY

That’s me

Ruby indicates the tin that Sal is holding

RUBY

His photos Sal likes to go through them Would you have time to ?

FINN

Sure

FINN

Ruby exits. Finn takes the album and sits next to Salvatore

(TO SAL) Alright, let’s take a look. Where are we here Sal?

No response from Salvatore

FINN

Looks like... someone’s backyard. You’re cooking up a feast.

Still nothing from Salvatore

FINN

You had a bit more hair back then Seems like you were a bit of a ladies’ man Got the babes around

Finn turns the page to another photo

FINN

What are you holding here? What’s this instrument?

MUSIC 9C: SAL’S PHOTO ALBUM

Finn holds the photo up for Salvatore No response Finn gets his phone out and takes a photo of the photo

Mrs MacIntyre makes an announcement

MRS MACINTYRE (P.A.)

Attention residents, due to unforeseen circumstances there will be no Beauty Therapist on duty this week

General disappointment from Rose, Lesley and Betty

MRS MACINTYRE

Oh, what are they going to achieve anyway? (CATCHING HERSELF) For those seeking a more “youthful” appearance - we’ll be lowering the lights.

The lights are lowered Ruby is doing make up on Lesley

LESLEY

Thanks for stepping in Ruby.

RUBY

I’m sort of going for a smokey eye look Lesley.

LESLEY

I’m in your hands.

ROLAND

I used to always insist on my own hair and make-up artist You can’t take chances with novices.

RUBY

I’m doing my best Roland.

Ruby holds up a mirror for Lesley to see

RUBY What do you think?

LESLEY

I’m thinking “I used to have skin as smooth as yours”

DOUG

I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself Lesley. Ruby’s a baby.

RUBY

I’m twenty three

ROSE

Jesus. I’ve got a hip replacement older than that

Lesley turns to Doug who is passing through

LESLEY

What do you think?

I, I, I, I, you, you, you, you

Care to give me an adjective?

Wow

I’ll take that as a compliment

I think he likes you.

Perhaps.

Well what about you?

DOUG

Doug struggles to speak

LESLEY

DOUG

Doug exits

LESLEY

FINN

LESLEY

FINN

LESLEY

I don’t know. We come from such different backgrounds. I asked him the other day what he thought of Caravaggio. He said he’d “never tasted it”. But...

RUBY

“But” what?

LESLEY

I do have feelings for him. It’s hard to explain

ROSE

You see, this is where we could do with wine

MRS MACINTYRE (P A )

Attention All Staff. Code Red, repeat Code Red

There is a bustle of activity from Staff and Residents

What’s a “Code Red”?

FINN

Mrs Mac enters in a flap.

MRS MACINTYRE

The Inspector ’s here, you know the drill, look caring - no one speaks unless spoken to.

Mrs MacIntyre turn to the Residents

MRS MACINTYRE

Let me see some smiles

I said “smiles”!

The Residents manage a very unconvincing smile.

MRS MACINTYRE

The Residents manage a slightly more convincing smile. The INSPECTOR enters

INSPECTOR

Mrs MacIntyre.

Inspector - delighted to see you again!

MRS MACINTYRE

The Inspector removes their coat (It is immediately stolen by Betty ) The Inspector consults their clipboard

INSPECTOR

Alright then, shall we ?

MUSIC 10: HERE AT PINE GROVE

MRS MACINTYRE

I’m sure you’ll find everything to your complete satisfaction...

MRS MACINTYRE TAKE A LOOK AROUND WE JUST KNOW YOU’LL BE IMPRESSED GO ANYWHERE YOU CARE

MRS MACINTYRE

(GUIDING INSPECTOR AWAY) Not there...

STAFF

PUT OUR STANDARDS TO THE TEST

MRS MACINTYRE

YOU WON’T FIND A FINER FACILITY CARING FOR THEM IS OUR PLEASURE

STAFF

PLEASURE

MRS MACINTYRE

AREN’T THE ELDERLY SUCH A TREASURE?

MRS MACINTYRE

Make sure they’ve all got their teeth in

MRS MACINTYRE & STAFF

YES PINE GROVE, IS THE PLACE TO BE

Mrs MacIntyre indicates for the Inspector to follow her on the tour.

MRS MACINTYRE

OUR ROOMS ARE BRIGHT AND SPACIOUS AND THE MEALS ALL FRESHLY MADE WE STEAM-CLEAN THE CARPETS DAILY

STAFF EVERY COCKROACH HAS BEEN SPRAYED

MRS MACINTYRE

Shut up!

Yes!

Mrs MacIntyre squashes a cockroach behind the Inspector ’ s back

MRS MACINTYRE

THEY LOVE IT HERE WHY JUST YOU LOOK AND SEE

STAFF

WE’RE SO GLAD TO HAVE THEM ALL STAYING

MRS MACINTYRE

STAFF

WHY WE SHOULD BE THE ONES WHO ARE PAYING

Not literally

PINE GROVE

PINE GROVE, PINE GROVE IS THE PLACE TO BE

MRS MACINTYRE

STAFF

MRS MACINTYRE

BUT DON’T JUST TAKE MY WORD, ASK ANYONE YOU SEE

MRS MACINTYRE (GUIDING INSPECTOR AWAY) Not her

MRS MACINTYRE

IT’S SENIOR’S LIFESTYLE LIVING IN FIVE-STAR LUXURY

Mrs MacIntyre gestures to where Chef is collecting a plate from Doug

MRS MACINTYRE

Why look, another gourmet meal being enjoyed by our residents

CHEF

You not gonna finish this?

Just a little too much garlic

What’s wrong with garlic?

This is dessert

DOUG

CHEF

DOUG

MRS MACINTYRE Bon appetit!

STAFF

JUST PRESS THE BUTTON WE’LL COME RUNNING WHEN YOU CALL ALL LIVING IS ASSISTED HERE

MRS MACINTYRE

ASK ANYONE WHO’S AGISTED HERE

STAFF

EVERYTHING FOR ONE LOW MONTHLY FEE

MRS MACINTYRE

“Fair use” policy applies

STAFF

THEIR HAPPINESS IS OUR GUARANTEE

MRS MACINTYRE

That’s not contractual...

STAFF

PINE GROVE, PINE GROVE, PINE GROVE

MRS MACINTYRE AND AGAIN NOW...

STAFF

PINE GROVE, PINE GROVE

PINE GROVE - IS THE PLACE TO BE

The Inspector looks it his clipboard

INSPECTOR

Well, everything seems to be in order. So, unless there are any complaints?

Rose stands

ROSE

I’ve got one. We haven’t been outside this place in three months

INSPECTOR (SHOCKED) What?

(TO MRS MACINTYRE) Is this true?

MRS MACINTYRE (SHOCKED) What?

INSPECTOR

MRS MACINTYRE

Of course not! She’s a little “confused” We offer an extensive program of inmate act, er, resident activities don’t we? Come on

MRS MACINTYRE

YES PINE GROVE IS THE PLACE TO... (BE)

But this resident says...

And I’m not the only one saying it.

Tell him what’s going on here...

INSPECTOR

ROSE

Rose turns to her fellow residents

ROSE

The other residents are clearly too frightened to speak up

MRS MACINTYRE

Oh dear Looks like we’re having another one of our “turns” And if they get any worse we may have to be confined to our room

Mrs MacIntyre and Rose stare at each other in an obvious ‘stand-off ’

INSPECTOR

Does anyone else have a complaint?

Just the “garlic” thing...

DOUG

A pause. The other Residents are too frightened to say anything.

INSPECTOR

Very well then. I guess I’ll see you in 12 months

Mrs MacIntyre escorts the Inspector out She looks menacingly at Rose

MRS MACINTYRE

YES PINE GROVE - IS THE PLACE TO BE

Mrs MacIntyre steps towards Rose in a threatening manner

MRS MACINTYRE

Now you listen here. I’ve had just about enough of your trouble-making.

ROSE

I know my rights

MRS MACINTYRE

You gave up your “rights” when you walked through my door. You swapped freedom and choice for safety Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to let the board know the wonderful news

ROSE

You’re resigning?

MRS MACINTYRE

That we’ve successfully passed another inspection How about three cheers for Pine Grove? Hip hip ?

Silence from all.

MRS MACINTYRE

We’ll do it later

Mrs MacIntyre exits

GLORIA

Well, that was quite a morning! Who’s for a nice game of bingo?

Zero interest from the Residents

LESLEY

Rose was right. We need to get outside

GLORIA

I know you do Lesley. We’re still waiting on the bus to be repaired

DOUG

Probably just needs a new set of plugs. We could... (LOOKS AT FINN)

DOUG & FINN ...jump start it!

RUBY

What do you mean Doug?

DOUG

The bus, it’s parked on a slope. All we’ve got to do is release the hand-brake, put the motor in gear - and you’re good to go. Then we do the same thing on the way home. You with me?

ROLAND

I understood “bus”

Maybe we try it?

RUBY

GLORIA

What are you on about? Mrs Mac will never let us

RUBY

She doesn’t have to know. She’ll be gone for the next few hours.

GLORIA

But where are we going to get the keys?

Ruby turns to Betty

RUBY

Betty?

Who wants to drive?

BETTY

Betty holds up a set of keys

General excitement from the Residents as they start to get up.

MUSIC 10A: INTO THE PARK

Hold still everyone

I’m happy to “hold still” here all day

A park The Residents and Staff are on benches & deck chairs, enjoying the sun Lesley is painting with an easel

LESLEY

DOUG

GLORIA

Have you all got sunscreen? Pass it along

The sunscreen is passed along - until it reaches Betty (who pockets the bottle)

ROSE

How good is it, just to feel sun on your face?

ROLAND

“On the green of the hill, we shall drink our fill, of golden sunshine”

DOUG

Seriously, I never understand half the things you say

ROLAND

Vulgarian

Add that one to the list.

I’m just going to get some sunscreen.

She’s a good kid

(LOST IN THOUGHT) Yeah...

You don’t agree?

DOUG

RUBY

Ruby heads off Doug speaks to Finn

DOUG

FINN

DOUG

FINN

What? No! I mean, she’s We sort of got off on the wrong foot I wish I could start over again

DOUG

Then you should tell her that

You mean speak to her?

FINN

Doug nods. Finn walks over to Ruby.

FINN

This was such a great idea Getting them out

RUBY

I feel bad it’s taken so long

FINN

It’s not your fault Seriously, I don’t know how you do it The way you look out for everyone

It’s my job. To care for them

RUBY

FINN

No, you care about them. You and Gloria should be running this place

RUBY

Not likely I don’t have any real qualifications I have thought about going to uni

FINN

Sounds like a plan

RUBY

But I keep putting it off Story of my life

FINN

Doesn’t have to be

FINN

Look, I just want to say sorry. For the way I’ve behaved. You were right to call me out

RUBY

I can be a little judgey

FINN

And I can be a little... shit. So, we’re good?

RUBY

Good enough. So what about you? What are your plans?

FINN

To be honest, I used to think I’d become a concert pianist Tour the world But that dream has sort of

RUBY Died?

FINN

Passed away Guess I’ll have to figure something else out

RUBY

Can I ask you something? Why did you stay?

How do you mean?

FINN

RUBY

Rose told me you found somewhere else

FINN

Oh yeah, it was a share-house, living with some people from uni.

RUBY

But you didn’t take it?

I guess I prefer living with friends.

FINN

Gloria breaks the moment

GLORIA

Hey! Who feels like getting an ice-cream?

Rose - are you okay?

I’m fine Just a little short of breath

If you need us to get you home ?

I’m perfectly content here

General enthusiasm from all (except Sal) as they get up Rose struggles to stand

RUBY

ROSE

RUBY

ROSE

FINN

(TO RUBY) How ‘bout I stay back with Rose and Sal?

RUBY

Shall I bring you one back? Rum and Raisin?

ROSE

(You can) skip the raisin.

Everyone heads off to get an ice-cream, leaving Finn, Rose and Salvatore.

ROSE

You wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette?

FINN

Rose!

Just asking!

ROSE

Finn reaches into his backpack and steps over to where Salvatore is sitting.

FINN

Although, that reminds me, I do have this. I’ve been meaning to show it to you Sal.

Finn takes a bandoneon out of his bag

FINN

It’s sort of like that instrument you were holding in your photo Borrowed it from uni Gotta take it back in a couple of days but I thought you might, you know

Finn places the bandoneon on Salvatore' lap Nothing happens

FINN

I suppose you can’t really… play it any more, hey?

Finn takes the bandoneon and studies the photo of Salvatore holding the instrument.

FINN

Not even sure of the fingering…

FINN

Finn produces a note/chord Unseen by Finn, Salvatore sits bolt upright at the familiar sound of the bandoneon

As Finn continues to tentatively play the instrument Salvatore stands and walks over to Finn, standing directly behind him

It’s sort of like a piano accordion but the keys are weird

Finn realizes that Salvatore is mesmerized by the instrument. His shock turns to excitement.

MUSIC 11: SALVATORE’S SONG

OH-OH-OH

OH-OH-OH

OH-OH-OH

OH-OH-OH

OH-OH-OH

OH-OH-OH

What are you doing?

OH-OH oh shit

Finn plays another chord on the bandoneon Salvatore sings a melody matching the chord

SALVATORE

Finn plays another chord. Salvatore matches it

SALVATORE

Betty joins in, tentatively BETTY

ALL RESIDENTS

They are joyous and energized Until Mrs MacIntyre enters

MRS MACINTYRE

DOUG

MRS MACINTYRE

Thought we’d have a little “picnic in the park” did we? (INDICATING SALVATORE)

Thank god we had this one fitted with a tracking device

GLORIA

Mrs MacIntyre I can (explain)

It was Salvatore He started singing!

FINN

(They all join in: “it was amazing/you should have heard him ”)

MRS MACINTYRE

That’s enough! Everyone. Back on the bus. (TO FINN & ROSE) The pair of you have been nothing but trouble since you arrived (TO RUBY AND GLORIA) As for you twoconsider this a first warning You’re officially on probation

During this tirade and the following exchange the “outdoor” colour drains as we are transported back to Pine Grove.

GLORIA

We were just trying to look after the residents

MRS MACINTYRE

By stealing a bus?

GLORIA

By showing them some kindness Ever since you arrived there’s been nothing but cut-backs and cruelty

MRS MACINTYRE

Are you quite finished?

GLORIA

People are dying here, not just because they’re old, but because we don’t have time to give them the care they deserve

MRS MACINTYRE

(Well you listen to me.) When I took over this place from those nuns it was a financial basket case. So the Board asked for some changes. A few small cuts. Thanks to my efforts, Pine Grove keeps its doors open.

GLORIA

And you take home a monthly bonus

MRS MACINTYRE

You want to go back to the Little Sisters of Perpetual Bankruptcy...?

GLORIA

No, I want to go back to caring for people And we can still do that, if we manage our funds

MRS MACINTYRE

I’m sorry, but I refuse to take financial advice from a... glorified cleaner

Gloria is visibly stung Mrs MacIntyre turns to the others

MRS MACINTYRE

Effective immediately, all group Lifestyle and Leisure activities are suspended. Dinner moves to 3.30, residents in bed by six. And that bus? It’s permanently impounded.

Mrs MacIntyre exits. Everyone is disconsolate.

DOUG

Well, it was good while it lasted

FINN

No. No! Just because we hit something hard, let’s not walk away

LESLEY

You heard her We can’t do anything

ROSE

Yes we can. We can make our own entertainment. Here. What about a choir?

FINN

You want to start a choir?

ROSE

No, I want you to start one. Music is a gift. And gifts are meant to be shared

LESLEY

She won’t let us do that

“She” doesn’t have to know.

MUSIC 11A: BEFORE CHOIR 1

ROSE

FINN

Hard transition to the choir rehearsal Finn is coaching the choir members

Okay, let’s start by working out who can sing what.

Finn steps over to the piano

FINN

Let me hear some higher voices? Altos, sopranos...

MUSIC 12: CHOIR REHEARSAL 1

AH

Finn plays a note/chord Rose, Lesley, Betty Ruby and Gloria attempt to sing it

FEMALE CHOIR MEMBERS

They sound okay - but Betty is particularly shrill

FINN

Okay... (DIPLOMATIC) Betty, I wonder if you might try a little more pianissimo?

BETTY

What’s that mean?

DOUG

(PRETEND COUGHING) Stop singing

FINN

No! It’s great, we’re just looking for a “blend”. Like we had in the park. Let’s try the other end. Baritones. Tenors...

Finn plays another note/chord. Doug, Roland and Salvatore attempt to sing it.

MALE CHOIR MEMBERS

AH...

FINN

Pretty good. Roland, I think you’ve got a bit more to give?

ROLAND

Perhaps. It’s just that I don’t usually perform with dilettantes

DOUG

(ANGRY) Who you calling “dilettantes”? (TO GLORIA) And what does it mean?

FINN

We just need to fine tune a few things. Let’s start with some simple exercises.

Finn sings

FINN

GO GET A BEER FROM THE FRIDGE

The Choir echoes.

CHOIR

GO GET A BEER FROM THE FRIDGE

FINN

Don’t stop before you reach the fridge.

Finn sings

FINN

BRING ME SOME WEED AND A BONG

The Choir echoes.

CHOIR

BRING ME SOME WEED AND A BONG

FINN

Alright...!

Finn sings

FINN

STOP OR I’M CALLING THE COPS...

The Choir echoes

CHOIR

STOP OR I’M CALLING THE COPS

What’s going on in here?

Nothing!

I distinctly heard singing

Oh, it might have been the television...

Mrs MacIntyre enters, not looking happy. The Residents hastily resume their seats

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

GLORIA

Gloria presses the remote control. We hear a short burst of the opening TVC (”If you have a loved one in your life”). Gloria turns it off.

MRS MACINTYRE

Very well then. But keep it down. We don’t want to over-stimulate them

Mrs MacIntyre exits Finn turns back to the choir, speaking under his breath

FINN

Christ what a joyless old cow

The choir echo back in 4 part harmony

CHOIR

CHRIST WHAT A JOYLESS OLD COW

Finn is forced to stop them before Mrs McIntyre hears.

FINN

Sssh! No!!!

MUSIC 12A: CHOPIN #2

ROSE

Night Finn is at the piano in the dining hall Rose is coaching him (Chopin Etude 3) She interrupts right at the climax of the piece

Remember, this next section should be one long phrase. But each phrase only makes sense if it carries the memory of the one before it.

Finn plays the final section of the Etude It ends Rose looks satisfied

Beautiful

ROSE

FINN

Thanks. Rose? Hey, What if my dad was right? About music being a shitty career choice

ROSE

You really believe that?

I’m never gonna be a concert pianist

Probably not.

FINN

ROSE

Finn is slightly taken a-back A beat

FINN

The other day in the park, with Sal. When we got him singing. That meant so much more than… passing some exam

ROSE

What did I say about music?

It’s a gift.

And what do you do with gifts ?

FINN

ROSE

Finn nods his understanding

FINN

What about you Rose? Are you…still planning to get out of here?

ROSE

It’s no longer top of my “To Do” list

Rose exits. Finn returns to playing the final moments of the Chopin piece. A new day forms as the Residents gather round the piano for choir rehearsal. Finn concludes the Chopin and starts to conduct them

MUSIC 13: CHOIR REHEARSAL 2

Okay, altos, sopranos…

FINN

Finn plays a note Rose, Lesley, Betty, Ruby & Gloria sing

ROSE, LESLEY, BETTY, RUBY & GLORIA

OH-OH-OH

FINN

Baritones, tenors...

OH-OH-OH

Let’s bring it altogether

OH-OH-OH

Finn plays a note. Doug, Roland and Salvatore sing

DOUG, ROLAND & SALVATORE

FINN

Finn plays the several chords Everyone joins in

RESIDENTS & STAFF

It sounds great Everyone applauds, exuberant with how they are sounding

FINN

Not bad for a couple of weeks. Let’s take five everyone...

The choir members relax, sit down.

GLORIA

I’ve never seen them so energised.

Betty approaches Finn.

BETTY

Finn - I need to ask you When is the concert?

FINN

What “concert”?

BETTY

Us Singing My son - he would like a ticket

FINN (HUMOURING HER) We’ll let you know.

RUBY

Betty’s right. We should put on a concert. I mean, all this work - it seems such a pity no one else gets to see it

We could raise money - fix the bus.

GLORIA

General enthusiasm from all

FINN

Okay, but how do we convince Mrs Mac? We’re not even supposed to have a choir

GLORIA

We tell her it’s a chance to promote the home. People in the audience might have elderly relatives.

FINN

That could work But what do we do for an audience?

RUBY

Leave that to me...

MUSIC 13A: NEWS STAB

A television news report

NEWS ANCHOR

We’ve all heard the phrase “singing for your supper”. But for a group of seniors at the Pine Grove Aged Care centre it’s a case of “busking for your bus”. When their only means of transport needed repairs these enterprising oldies decided to take matters into their own hands

Vox pops with residents

LESLEY

We’re putting on a concert. It’s going to be wonderful

DOUG

You’ll be supporting a worthy cause Us

BETTY

My son is a TV reporter.

ROSE

Betty tries stealing the reporter ’ s microphone

Come on down to Pine Grove. Who knows what you’ll discover is going on here...?

That’s enough! She’s having a “turn”

Mrs MacIntyre steps in and holds her hand up to block the camera.

MRS MACINTYRE

ROLAND

Is this my camera? I’ll need a mid-shot...

GLORIA

The concert is open to all - and tickets are just thirty dollars . Mrs MacIntyre leans into frame

MRS MACINTYRE

Plus booking fee

RUBY

We hope to see as many people here as possible

NEWS ANCHOR

Good on them

How?

I just made a few calls

Look at them. It’s disgusting.

It’s beautiful.

This is a home, not a bordello

The TV bulletin ends. Finn turns to Ruby.

FINN

RUBY

Finn smiles at Ruby Another moment Doug and Lesley walk past, hand-in-hand Mrs MacIntyre watches on, unimpressed.

MRS MACINTYRE

RUBY

MRS MACINTYRE

FINN

It’s not “a” home. It’s their home. Our home.

MRS MACINTYRE

(STILL DISTRACTED) We need to put something in their tea. Next stop “Viagra Falls”.

Gloria approaches.

GLORIA

Ruby? It’s Rose...

MUSIC 13B: INTO ROSE’S ROOM

(CONCERNED) Rose?

Rose is in her room, seated in a chair and looking frail. Ruby and Finn enter

RUBY

ROSE

I’m fine. I’m fine. Wish everyone would just stop your fussing.

Gloria offers Rose a pill and a cup of water

GLORIA

Here you go.

I’m done with those pills.

But Rose...

So How are you doing?

ROSE

Rose shakes her head, refusing to take the cup

GLORIA

ROSE

Finn takes a seat next to Rose

FINN

ROSE

Thank you for asking. I’m tired, if you want to know the truth. Tired of turning into the person I never wanted to be. Tired of being stuck in here, of losing control.

Ruby takes Rose’s hand

ROSE

I’m done with climbing. It’s all downhill.

Rose starts to cough. Gloria turns to Ruby

GLORIA

Can you grab me that blanket? (TO ROSE) Just relax Close your eyes I’m right here We all are

FINN

(TO GLORIA) Is there anything we can do?

GLORIA

You’re doing it You’re here

MUSIC 14: BEING THERE WITH YOU

Gloria sings

GLORIA WHEN THE DAY FALLS SHORT AND THE SHADOWS GROW FIND THE STRENGTH TO STAY AND THE COURAGE TO LET GO SO THE NIGHT IS LONG LET ME BE YOUR SUN TO SHINE ON ALL YOU DID AND LEFT UNDONE I’LL WIPE YOUR TEARS THE HAIR FROM YOUR FACE HOLD YOU BLESSED AND BROKEN SO YOU FIND SOME TIME TO GIVE YOU LOSE A LITTLE SOMETHING TOO BUT I KNOW FOR SURE, THAT I’M BETTER FOR JUST BEING THERE WITH YOU

Morning

How long have you been there?

FINN

ROSE

Rose is in bed, asleep. Finn sits by the bed. Rose opens her eyes

A while.

Surely you have better things to do.

Not really

Give me your hands

You make sure to keep practicing

(CONCERNED) Rose

FINN

ROSE

FINN

ROSE

Finn places his hands in Rose’s

ROSE

FINN

ROSE

You’re not as good as you think you are, but..

FINN

It’s going to be fine

But...?

You could be

ROSE

ROSE

FINN I could be

GLORIA

MY HAND IN YOURS YOUR PATH IS LINED WITH ALL YOU LOVE AND LEAVE BEHIND

SO YOU FIND SOME TIME TO GIVE YOU LOSE A LITTLE SOMETHING TOO BUT I KNOW FOR SURE, THAT I’M BETTER FOR JUST BEING THERE WITH YOU WHEN DAY AND NIGHT TURN TO ONE AND YOU HAVEN’T GOT A PRAYER LET ME STAND BY YOU, I’LL SEE THIS THROUGH YOU KNOW THAT I’LL BE THERE

FINN

Transition Ruby is now seated by Rose’s bed Finn enters

How’s she doing?

Aren’t you off-duty?

FINN

RUBY

Ruby shakes her head Finn takes a seat next to Ruby

I might just stay on a bit Couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone

FINN

How do you ever get used to this?

RUBY

My grandparents, they lived at home with us We were all with them - until the end I think everyone deserves that

FINN

When my Mum was dying, she was in hospital, they said I was too young to go in. I never got to be there. (BEAT) I want to be here now.

RUBY

I think Rose would like that

You know what she’d say to us?

“I don’t need help”

Rose? It’s Finn.

FINN

RUBY & FINN

Rose stirs, mumbles Finn leans in close

FINN

ROSE

(FAINTLY) Looks like I’m finally getting out of here

The Residents & Staff gather for a memorial service.

LESLEY

THERE WERE VERY FEW TRACES OF LADYLIKE GRACES

DOUG

SHE NEVER QUITE SAW THE NEED

BETTY

SHE FLAUNTED RULES GLADLY

ROLAND SUFFERED FOOLS BADLY

RESIDENTS AND FOLLOWED NOBODY’S LEAD

RESIDENTS, GLORIA, FINN & RUBY SO YOU FIND SOME TIME TO GIVE YOU LOSE A LITTLE SOMETHING TOO BUT I KNOW FOR SURE, THAT I’M BETTER FOR BEING THERE WITH YOU WHEN DAY AND NIGHT TURN TO ONE AND YOU HAVEN’T GOT A PRAYER LET ME STAND BY YOU, LET ME SEE THIS THROUGH YOU KNOW THAT I’LL BE THERE

GLORIA WHEN THE NIGHT - FALLS SOFT AND THE SHADOWS GROW FIND THE STRENGTH TO STAY AND LET GO.

A P A announcement is made

MRS MACINTYRE (P.A.)

Good morning visitors, and welcome to Pine Grove. Our concert is due to commence shortly. Of course, this residents’ choir is just one of the many enriching psycho-social activities I personally ensure is provided here at the facility. As we say in the ad… (SINGS) “If you have a loved one in your life in need of extra care, Pine Grove is the place to beyou’ll find a brochure on your chair...”

The Residents and Staff are preparing for their concert

LESLEY

You’ll never believe it - there must be a hundred people out there!

ROLAND

It’s a full house!

Critic in the house!

Why is the Inspector here?

The Inspector enters. Roland notices first

ROLAND

GLORIA

Mrs MacIntyre overhears

MRS MACINTYRE (ALARMED) What?

INSPECTOR

Mrs MacIntyre

MRS MACINTYRE (SMARMY) Inspector - what a wonderful surprise!

MRS MACINTYRE (SINGS) PINE GROVE IS THE PLACE TO BE

INSPECTOR

No need for that I’m afraid we’ve received a complaint About you

MRS MACINTYRE What?

INSPECTOR

Some quite detailed and disturbing allegations

The Inspector consults his clipboard.

INSPECTOR

“Failure to provide lifestyle services”. “Bullying and underpayment of staff”. “Overmedication of residents”.

MRS MACINTYRE

Why... that’s outrageous. Who would say such things?

INSPECTOR

It was a former resident. I’m not a liberty to reveal their name

RUBY Rose. FINN Rose

MRS MACINTYRE

What? That conniving, ungrateful little... (REALIZING) But... she’s no longer alive. So you have no proof!

INSPECTOR

On the contrary, we were sent quite a dossier. Drug charts, staff time sheets a detailed set of financial records.

MRS MACINTYRE

Those are kept locked in my office, how did anyone get hold of...(them)?

Everyone turns to look at Betty

BETTY

Rose, she ask me for help

INSPECTOR

Until this matter is fully investigated I’m left with no choice but to have you stood down immediately.

MRS MACINTYRE

But you can’t do that! Why, the residents - they love me

Mrs MacIntyre turns to the Residents for affirmation There is silence

MRS MACINTYRE in their own way Besides, who will run the place?

INSPECTOR

I’ve spoken with the owners. This facility will have to be closed.

MRS MACINTYRE (TRIUMPHANT) Ha!

INSPECTOR

You’re still sacked.

Oh yeah. Well, just remember.

MRS MACINTYRE

MUSIC 14A: MRS MAC’S EXIT

MRS MACINTYRE (SINGS) EVERYTHING I DID I DID FOR (THEM)

INSPECTOR

Out!

Mrs MacIntyre exits

DOUG

But, where are we all going to live?

RUBY

What if we found someone else to step in?

INSPECTOR

As manager? At such short notice?

RUBY

How about Gloria?

Me?

GLORIA

RUBY

Yes! She’s been here for eight years, practically runs the place anyway, everyone loves her

Enthusiastic agreement from the Residents (”we love Gloria”)

INSPECTOR

Well, as an interim measure, it seems sensible.

RESIDENTS

Hooray!

The Inspector looks at his clipboard

INSPECTOR

Oh, one other thing Is there a “Finn Bailey” here?

FINN

That’s me

INSPECTOR

You’re listed here under some sort of “student residency scheme”? What exactly are your qualifications?

I’m halfway through a music degree

He’s very good.

FINN

BETTY

INSPECTOR

But no aged care training or accreditation? I’m afraid you’ll have to leave too.

RESIDENTS

No!/What?/He can’t leave/That’s not fair!

GLORIA

What if Finn stayed on - in a different role?

INSPECTOR

Such as?

GLORIA

Music therapist (TO FINN) Is that okay?

FINN

Yeah, I’d love that

I’d be happy to supervise him

I’d be happy to kick his butt

Alright, let me see what I can do.

GLORIA

RUBY

INSPECTOR

The Inspector exits

GLORIA

Okay everyone, come on We’ve got a concert to perform

ROLAND (CALLS) Ten minutes to curtain!

Doug looks towards the audience

DOUG (NERVOUS) Shit...

ROLAND

Are you alright?

There’s a lot of people out there...

Allow me to share an old actor ’s trick...

DOUG

ROLAND

Roland indicates the audience.

ROLAND

Just imagine everyone in the audience out there is naked.

Doug stares at the audience

ROLAND

How do feel now?

Still not great

(CALLS) Overture and Beginners!

Gloria Can you take the warm-up?

Of course!

DOUG

ROLAND

FINN

GLORIA

The Residents move into position. Betty approaches Finn

BETTY Finn?

FINN

What’s up Betty?

My son....

Yeah?

BETTY

FINN

BETTY

He’s not coming to see me. But that’s okay. It’s been so long, I’ve almost forgotten what he looks like. I’m going to imagine he looks like you.

(TOUCHED) Sure.

Gloria wrangles the choir into position.

GLORIA

All together now. And...

MUSIC 15: GROW A LITTLE OLDER

Gloria wrangles the choir-members over to one side for rehearsal. They warm-up by humming “Grow A Little Older”

RESIDENTS

GO GET SOME BEERS FROM THE FRIDGE

Looks like you picked up a new job.

Finn takes Ruby aside.

RUBY

FINN

Yeah, guess so. I might even get paid this time. But, like Rose said, music is a gift, you gotta share it

RESIDENTS

BRING ME SOME WEED AND A BONG

RUBY

She also said “get out of your own way”

FINN

You’re doing that uni course?

(NODDING) I start next month

RUBY

RESIDENTS

STOP OR I’M CALLING THE COPS

FINN

So I guess we won’t be seeing each other as much?

RUBY

Unless, we saw each other somewhere else.

I know a great park

RESIDENTS

CHRIST WHAT A JOYLESS OLD COW

Looks like we’re ready.

Gloria approaches

GLORIA

Gloria addresses the (imaginary) audience

GLORIA

Thank you everyone for coming out this afternoon It’s been a big year here at Pine Grove We’ve all made new friends, and said good-bye to some special ones But here we are May I present, the Rose Bonetti Memorial Choir

The Choir starts to sing (oohs & aaahs)

FINN

I THOUGHT I KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS, ‘TIL YOU PROVED THEM WRONG

RUBY

THOUGHT I HAD IT ALL WORKED OUT, AND THEN YOU CAME ALONG

RUBY & FINN NOW THIS JUST FEELS SO RIGHT

RESIDENTS (CHOIR) AHHH...

FINN

I mean...

WE WOULDN’T

WE CAN’T

WE SHOULDN’T

FINN

RUBY

FINN

RUBY

WE AREN’T

RUBY & FINN BUT MAYBE…?

DOUG & LESLEY MAYBE...

DOUG

FOR THE FIRST TIME I GUESS I’VE FOUND A REASON, TO STICK AROUND

LESLEY AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THE PIECES FIT NOW THAT YOU’RE A PART OF IT

ROLAND & BETTY & SAL FOR THE FIRST TIME IT’S SO CLEAR WHAT I’M DOING HERE

GLORIA

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I KNOW FOR SURE THIS IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR

STAFF & RESIDENTS

WON’T YOU GROW A LITTLE OLDER NOW WITH ME FIND THE VERY BEST THE BEST THAT’S YET TO BE SO GROW A LITTLE OLDER NOW WITH ME

BETTY

WE’VE GOT NOTHING FIGURED, NOTHING PLANNED

ROLAND BUT IF YOU’RE WILLING TO LEAP

LESLEY WHO KNOWS WHERE WE’LL LAND?

SALVATORE

TAKE THIS CHANCE NOW, SEE WHERE IT MIGHT END FIND OURSELVES A ROAD

STAFF & RESIDENTS

AND LEAN INTO LEAN INTO, LEAN INTO THE BEND

WON’T YOU GROW A LITTLE OLDER

(WON’T YOU GROW) NOW WITH ME (NOW WITH ME) FIND THE VERY BEST (THE VERY BEST) THE BEST THAT’S YET TO BE GROW A LITTLE OLDER NOW (GROW A LITTLE OLDER, OLDER NOW)

NEWS ANCHOR (PRE RECORDED)

And in further local news, the Pine Grove aged care home has a new permanent manager...

A live spot highlighting Gloria

NEWS ANCHOR

This appointment follows the dismissal of the facility’s former proprietor

A live spot highlighting Mrs MacIntyre.

NEWS ANCHOR

Who has been banned for life from the aged care sector - and is now running a childcare centre

Reveal Mrs MacIntyre unhappily holding two young ‘children’ (or a pram)

STAFF & RESIDENTS

BEYOND THESE FLOORS, BEYOND THIS ROOM THERE’S STILL TIME FOR US TO... BLOOM!

EVERYONE (INCLUDING ROSE)

WON’T YOU GROW A LITTLE OLDER NOW WITH ME FIND THE VERY BEST THE BEST THAT’S YET TO BE THROUGH THE LAUGHTER AND THE GRIEVING THROUGH THE COMING AND THE LEAVING ALL THAT’S BEEN AND ALL THAT’S YET TO BE GROW A LITTLE OLDER NOW... WITH ME

MUSIC 16: BOWS/EXIT MUSIC