When Respect is Missing in Intimate Relationships

Colette Farrugia Bennett Service Manager at Domestic Violence Services & LGBTIQ Hub within Aġenzija Appoġġ

Every relationship, whether intimate or not, should be based on love and respect. We also know that there are circumstances where these two factors are missing or not always present, so it is important to talk about the support services that exist for people who are experiencing some form of abuse in their relationships.

Domestic violence occurs in intimate relationships, as well as in other forms of relationships. It does not discriminate amongst the class, sexual orientation, race, age or religious beliefs of the individual; and research shows that everyone can be a victim of domestic violence.

However, research also shows that females are at a higher risk of being victims of domestic violence perpetrated by males in intimate relationships. This is linked to patriarchal thinking, male controlling behaviours towards their partners, ideologies of male sexual entitlement, gender inequality and norms on the acceptability of violence against women. Other social factors such as drugs and alcohol may exasperate and intensify the perpetrator's acts of violence.

In domestic violence situations, the aggressors exercise power and control over their victims and this is done through physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual and spiritual abuse. Some controlling behaviours also occur through harassment and stalking. All of the above forms of abuse occur with the intent to continue to exercise more power over the victim. There is no profile describing an aggressor.

Such acts of violence have an effect on the victim, and thus it is important that the victims receive the support they may need. Experience and research also show that domestic violence affects the victim's children and relatives.

Apart from the fact that witnessing these situations may be a traumatic experience in itself, family members may also be the target of the aggressor in order to exercise more control over the victim. It is very important that children are protected from such acts of violence.

The Domestic Violence Services within Aġenzija Appoġġ offers various services of support to the victims and their children, as well as the perpetrators. The Domestic Violence Services works closely with the Gender-Based Violence and Domestic Violence Police Unit, and this liaison facilitates the reporting process for the victim, as well as the assessment of the risk experienced by the victims and their children. Liaison with the police is also sought to accompany DVS professionals in interventions which may pose some risk for the professionals and the victims.

Anyone who wishes to find support or information can get in touch with the Domestic Violence Services of Aġenzija Appoġġ on 2295 9000 or Supportline 179.

A woman who was placed in foster care and protected by a care order at the age of six, speaks about her experience with her foster family...

Kate was born in 2003 and had two older brothers. Her biological parents were finding it difficult to cope with bringing up all three children. In fact, Kate's parents used to complain about the children having challenging behaviour and used to physically beat them as a form of discipline. Eventually, Child Protection services were involved and an investigation took place. Kate had to be taken out of the household and an alternative placement found. She was placed in foster care and protected by a care order at the age of six.

fact, she describes her journey in foster care as "a wonderful experience!".

She explained that unfortunately, as a young child, she was deprived of having a biological family to care for her, but luckily, she found a foster family who always supported her and showed her love and respect.

Speaking with the social workers that work within the Directorate for Alternative Care, part of the Foundation for Social Welfare Services (FSWS), Katie recalls how well she had settled with her foster family and was in favor of remaining with her new foster family rather than being re-united with her biological family in the future.

Kate explained that her fostering experience changed her mentality completely. She added that her foster carers fulfilled her needs at the time and stated that, they gave her the childhood she never had. In fact, Kate spoke very highly of her experience in foster care and she said; "If I was to be reborn again, I would do it again". This is also shown by the fact that Kate has chosen to continue living with her foster family even after she reached 18 years of age.

Kate has grown up to be a young independent woman, completed a tertiary education course and has a full time job. She also spoke about how she plans to buy a house and to have her own family one day.

Looking back, Kate thinks of herself as being lucky to have found a foster family that accepted her at such a young age and offered her a second chance of having a family. In

She always refused to have contact with her biological family and still refuses to get in touch even now. Kate explained that she is not interested in getting to know her biological family since she has plans for her future and believes that she needs to focus on her future aspirations. Kate feels that her foster family is her only family and has a positive outlook towards life.

Fostering can be an enriching experience both for adults and children. It gives priceless opportunities to help children reach their full potential. Moreover, embarking on this journey gives an unprecedented sense of joy and pride by giving back to society, whilst helping a child and family in need.

Experience joy by supporting and improving a life of a child, choose fostering.

Fostering, or foster care, is a way of providing a safe and loving family home for children who cannot, for whatever reason, live with their own parents.

Currently the FSWS has 185 families who are officially approved and who have a fostered child/children with them. In 2022 fostering service provided 42 new placements for 36 different children and in 2023, already 10 children found a loving family through fostering.

Individuals who are interested in learning more about fostering can phone on 1778 or follow our Facebook page; 'Fostering Service Malta'