Mountain Xpress, December 22 2010

OUR 17TH YEAR OF WEEKLY INDEPENDENT NEWS, ARTS, & EVENTS FOR WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA VOL. 17 NO. 22 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

BOTTLED UP: DISPUTE OVER LIVING WAGE AT BUCHI

p. 14

A NEW GIN IN TOWN

p. 32

DROPPING INTO WNC WINTER SPORTS p. 16 THE XMAS SONGS WE HATE

p. 43

DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

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on the cover Winter wonderland

To many people, winter weather spells trouble. But for others, it elicits an insatiable urge to go outside and play. Here’s an introduction to winter sports in WNC, from one adventurer’s first backcountry trip of the season to a look at the local ski resorts that make playing in the snow easy.

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Cover design by Drew Findley Photograph by Nicole Kendle

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news 8 Asheville City Council 51 Biltmore moves forward; members discuss annexation policies 10 Freaks, Freaky weather ... and girls with wheels The annual 2011 calendar roundup 14 Bottled Buchi firing highlights living-wage issue

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arts&entertainment

Moving Sale all DeceMber long!

42 merry and bright ideas A what-to-do-over-the-holidays roundup

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43 screaming awful Local musicians share their least-favorite holiday songs

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DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

46 ken of steel Our favorite film critic celebrates ten years at Xpress 48 giving that gives back Asheville artists thankful for community kickstarter funding

features 5 Letters 7 Cartoon: Molton Green scene Will return Jan. 5 24 Community Calendar 27 FreeWill Astrology 28 Conscious party Benefits 29 News of the Weird 30 edgy mama Parenting from the edge 32 Food The main dish on local eats 36 Small Bites Local food news 40 Eatin in season What’s fresh 45 Artillery Skateboard documentary smart bets Will return Jan. 5 50 PROFILER Year in review 52 ClubLand 58 Asheville Disclaimer 59 cranky hanke Movie reviews 65 Classifieds 69 Cartoon: brent brown 71 NY Times crossword

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letters The life you save has to be your own

If you believe in global warming, stop making people

I am writing regarding the letter “’Workforce Housing’ Leaves Most Workers in the Cold” [Dec. 8 Xpress]. Josh Mallernee mentioned that he is a city worker making less than $30,000 a year and that at that rate it is harder to find affordable housing to match.

If you can’t afford your rent, either find a better paying job or go back to school [so you can] get a better paying job. Also, maybe you need to find another town to live in if Asheville is so expensive. I myself moved to WNC in March from Charlotte. I am paying $100 less in rent here than I did there.

I probably make even less than you do with my present job as a grocery store cashier. It is all I can do right now to keep myself afloat.

I have to save up all month just for end-ofthe-month’s rent [and] all my other bills. Stop complaining about how much you make, and how much your apartment costs, unless you are willing to make a change.

You are not the only one who is having hard times and trying to make ends meet.

The choices you make in life are your own.

You say it’s a shame that there is not more consideration for people like yourself. No one is going to give you a handout or come along and make your life easier. You have to do that on your own.

— Irene Corey Black Mountain

I hope Susan Andrew was aiming for irony in her Green Scene article criticizing Blue Ridge Paper [“Pulp Nonfiction,” Dec. 8 Xpress]. She is aware of the medium she’s employing to send her message, isn’t she? I mean, she’s writing for a company that sells advertising to polluters on paper that was processed by a polluter, and then the printed paper itself eventually gets thrown into the back of a fossil-fuel-burning truck and carried to a landfill where it becomes pollution.

This is classic “cast the first stone at a glass house full of black pots and kettles” bigotry.

When “environmentalists” no longer use any of earth’s resources for their own sustenance, transportation, shelter, education and entertainment, then they can point the finger at other polluters.

When will humanity learn that it is our own overpopulation of this world that is the problem?

Here’s a green idea for the softhearted tree huggers: Stop making people!

— Norman Plombe Arden

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Asheville 11: Guilty until proven innocent?

I am writing in response to Randy Molton’s cartoon, published in the Dec. 15 [Xpress], in which the Asheville 11 [are portrayed as] spoiled brats who throw tantrums like 11-year-olds.

I am getting pretty sick and tired of this sort

Letters continue

staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editorS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams a&E reporter & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall Senior news reporter: David Forbes FOOD & FEATURES COORDINATOR: Mackensy Lunsford Staff reporter/multimedia: Jake Frankel green scene reporter: Susan Andrew contributing editor, writer: Tracy Rose Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch EDITORIAL ASSISTANT, SUPPLEMENT COORDINATOR & Writer: Jaye Bartell CALENDAR editor, Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt clubland editor, writer: Dane Smith contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Ursula Gullow, Anne Fitten Glenn, Whitney Shroyer, Cinthia Milner, Danny Bernstein, Jonathan Poston, Eric Crews EDIToRIAL INTERN: Amanda Varner Production & Design ManaGeR: Drew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney

Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke AdVERTISING MANAGER: Marissa Williams advertising SUPPLEMENTS manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Russ Keith, Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Scott Sessoms Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope web liaison: Steve Shanafelt web DEVELOPER: Patrick Conant WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque Director of Business Development: James Fisher special projects: Sammy Cox ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

heyyou We want to hear from you.

Please send your letters to: Editor, Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall Street Asheville, NC 28801 or by email to letters@mountainx.com. of crap. The 11 people who have been charged with rioting, vandalism, etc., are neither rioters nor vandals, and they will remain so until proven guilty at trial. If Molton is privy to special knowledge about these defendants that the rest of us are not, then perhaps he can share. Until then, he and the dozens of other ignorant folks whom I have recently heard call the defendants “spoiled children” who need to “sleep in the bed they’ve made for themselves” need to shut the hell up until the trial is over.

— Thad Eckard Asheville

Real revolutionaries take responsibility I believe strongly in the need for activism and protest. Such actions should be well thought out and have a purpose. I believe that our government, as well as governments around the world, don’t always act on behalf of the people. That brings about the need for protest, so we take to the streets to voice our opinions.

I [want] to address the so-called and selfdescribed “Asheville 11.” The actions on May 1 did not target the state or federal government, but instead targeted private property, storefronts, an ATM, some newspaper boxes and parked cars — all totally random and absurd acts in the shadow of the “evil” Grove Arcade.

No letter of intent [was issued] prior to the action — an action that, in my view, mocked and belittled the very need for real action and protest, regardless of who actually [perpetrated] the actions.

If the Asheville 11 are all totally innocent, why isn’t there a push within the community for those responsible to step up? If the Asheville 11 are your “comrades” and you seek “solidarity,” then why don’t the brothers and sisters who really did [the damage] step up? If you are innocent, why make a statement after the fact for solidarity? Why lash out at the corrupt system when you are at its mercy?

The fact is, something really stupid happened on May 1 — a temper tantrum of an extreme nature. Whoever is responsible is uneducated and works against the efforts of true revolutionaries, [and attracts] unnecessary attention to the real cause. The real tragedy here isn’t that these totally “innocent” kids are being railroaded by a corrupt government. It’s that no one is willing to accept responsibility, to stand and accept the blame.

Senseless acts of vandalism … just bring on the heat [and] aren’t revolutionary. The real revolution is to know when, where and how to carry out real actions, with respect and, when it’s necessary, force.

If the Asheville 11 are totally innocent, I hope

DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons [they] can prove it. I hope for [their] sake that the true people responsible will step up and accept responsibility.

The Asheville 11 are not a legitimate group of activists, based solely on their claim of innocence.

— M. “Granpappy” Pyle Asheville

More weed, less greed In March I was arrested for growing three marijuana plants in my home. It was 2 a.m. and I was sitting on my couch eating potato chips.

Flash forward 30 minutes: I am being led to the back of a line of seven police cars (including forensics and dogs). I was not charged with harming anyone, or intent to distribute. The police said they knew I was not trying to sell; they understood that I was growing marijuana in my home to avoid dark dealings with drug dealers.

Even though that was understood, I was charged with three felonies and forced to plead guilty to “maintaining a dwelling for drugs” to avoid a prison term.

So, [having] three marijuana plants for personal use [qualifies as] maintaining a dwelling for drugs? I will be thankful in advance to the landlord who does not assume I am a methcooking drug dealer. Who will rent a home to someone who maintains a dwelling for drugs?

I realize that marijuana is illegal, but I also realize that it is only by breaking the law and speaking up that things can be changed. You have a duty to disobey laws that are morally corrupt.

The N.C. House Bill 1380 [Medical Marijuana Act] sits dormant in the capitol, waiting on intelligent progressive citizens to stand up and say, “Yes, there is a place for medical marijuana.”

The U.S. government is on the wrong side of history on marijuana, and we in Asheville — a city known nationwide for high-quality marijuana, a city with at least two indoor grow shops and a half-dozen smoke shops — need to send a mes-

sage to Raleigh: More weed, less greed.

Call the General Assembly in Raleigh, and tell them it’s time for a little common sense in our Democracy.

— Michael Ivanov Asheville

Go solar: The grandkids will thank you As the end of this year approaches, I think it’s a good time to take a moment and consider the future — our own individual futures and that of the world in which we all live and upon which we all depend.

In considering the future, I think it’s crucial that we think about what we can each do to reduce our demand for fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal. The actions we could take are as simple as turning off lights we are not using, turning the thermostat down a degree or two, or switching some of our most often used lights to compact fluorescent or LED bulbs.

As a community, I think it’s high time that Buncombe County and the city of Asheville begin to require that any new building constructed within the county or city limits have a solar thermal system for heating water. This area gets more than enough sunshine to make hot water for a home or other building, and the technology is well proven. Most solar thermal systems have a 30-year warranty, and the energy savings pays for them fairly quickly.

In addition to saving electricity and money to pay for it, solar thermal water heaters help reduce carbon emissions and other air pollution.

In the Buncombe County and Asheville area this would go a long way to help improve our air quality.

So let’s work on requiring [these] systems in every new building constructed in our community. There is no good reason not to, and your children and grandchildren will thank you.

— Lin H. Orndorf Asheville

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51 Biltmore project gets boost

by David Forbes In limbo since 2008 due to a faltering economy, the 51 Biltmore project took a couple of steps forward at the Asheville City Council’s Dec. 14 meeting. If the hotel/parking deck/retail development is approved, the target site — a large parking lot on Biltmore Avenue — could change dramatically.

On a pair of 4-2 votes with Council members Cecil Bothwell and Gordon Smith opposed, Council approved leasing space on South Lexington Avenue to Public Interest Projects for use during construction and set a Jan. 11 public hearing to consider issuing $15.5 million in revenue bonds for the city’s share of the project, a 422-space parking deck.

Under the terms of the complex deal, Asheville would build the deck on land purchased from Public Interest Projects; the McKibbon Hotel Group would build and manage an Aloft Hotel and retail space atop the deck.

Proponents, including Vice Mayor Brownie Newman, say it’s a golden opportunity for the

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DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

“Transit is changing; putting all of our eggs in one basket is a serious problem.”

— Council member Cecil Bothwell

city to secure the downtown property and add much-needed parking while spurring economic development in the area.

“This is a big commitment of resources, sure,” conceded Newman. “But when I think about public parking in downtown, if we’re going to build one more project in the foreseeable future, this is the one to do: It’s the area of downtown that needs it the most.”

According to staff reports, the city’s overall parking revenues are projected to cover the cost of the bond debt. In the long run, owning the facility would be cheaper than leasing it, even though the city would be paying $130 per square foot rather than the current appraised value (about $95 per square foot).

Some on Council were skeptical, however.

“For $14 million, we could build a four-mile trolley system,” asserted Bothwell, a vocal critic of the project. Staff’s assessments, he noted, had failed to consider other forms of transportation that could provide access to the area without increasing traffic problems.

“It seems to me like we’re acting on a plan developed in a different economic situation,” said Bothwell. “The parking study didn’t consider at all changing automobile use. ... The best estimates say we’re going to reach peak oil within the next decade. Transit is changing; putting all of our eggs in one basket is a serious problem.”

Smith voiced similar concerns, saying the city needs a “multitiered approach” and that “We can’t just do parking and solve the problem.”

He queried consultant Fred Burchette, who conducted the 51 Biltmore parking studies, concerning his analysis.

“Our study was based on existing land use” and the demand it creates, as well as the fact that new transit and shuttle systems would increase the city’s annual operating costs, Burchette replied. “At peak times, it’s hard to find parking on Biltmore. You don’t have parking, people won’t come downtown.”

And for my annexed trick ...

At a pre-meeting work session, Council members revisited their annexation policy, peering at a big map of areas the city might absorb. Because state legislation aimed exclusively at Asheville prohibits the city from making annexation a precondition for access to the water system, and Council has traditionally been cautious about taking in new areas, Asheville barely makes the top 20 North Carolina cities in terms of total area annexed, city staff explained.

And with newly minted Republican majorities in both chambers of the General Assembly, several Council members noted that Republican state Sen. Tom Apodaca, who willl head the powerful Rules and Operations Committee, has declared his intent to do away with involuntary annexation.

“It’s easier to negotiate with someone when you’re not pissing them off,” Council member Esther Manheimer observed. “We have to prepare for a future without forced annexation.”

Council member Jan Davis expressed some optimism, opining that Apodaca “wouldn’t want to cut the legs out from the biggest city in his district.”

City Manager Gary Jackson advised Council that, off the record, the N.C. League of Municipalities is advising towns and cities to take a cautious approach to annexation until the legislative dust settles.

But Bothwell pointed out that if forced annexation is on the way out, this could be the city’s last chance to take corrective action. The current situation, he added, allows surrounding urbanized areas to use city services without helping pay for them.

“We need to find ways to tax people from outside the city for being here,” said Bothwell, citing such examples as cheaper parking rates for city residents. X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 137, or at dforbes@mountainx.com.

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

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Dateline

A potpourri of locally made 2011 calendars

by Amanda Varner As the days dwindle down, it’s time to start hunting up a 2011 calendar. Happily, there are abundant local options for keeping track of things over the coming months — often while benefitting a worthy local cause. They also make affordable gifts. And whether your passion is history, nature, the weather, freaks, girls, guys or cars, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a quick look..

Blue Ridge Rollergirls

5 Star Preschool

Bookmarks

Local photographer Laurie McCarriar continues to turn her work into compact, multifunctional “bookmark calendars.” This year, she’s produced two: Asheville features close-up shots of the city’s colorful daily life and architecture;

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These high rollers went all out for 2011. The cover is a collage of black-and-white action shots, and each month features an energetic, full-color portrait of team members set against some colorful local backdrop. For $15, you can help out a local nonprofit while acquiring this stylishly funky calendar, available at these Asheville businesses: Diamond Thieves, Flipside, Freaks & Geeks, Malaprop’s, Pura Vida, Universal Joint and Write On.

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Did you know you can fuel your natural gas vehicle at home?

WNC Historical Association’s 2011 calendar

10 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 11

Imperfection Rocks showcases shots of rocks and water that fit together to form a single image.

Each is $12 (including shipping) and available at lauriemccarriar.com.

Freaks of Asheville

Suzie Millions graces the cover of the second annual Freaks of Asheville calendar, which showcases a whole new roundup of unique local characters. From Jim Julien (who also designed the calendar) to Cleavage the Clown, each freak gets a photo and a chance to expound on their view of themself and of freakdom in general. Freaks also notes assorted quirky occasions. It’s available at arts2people.org for $13.95 plus tax and shipping; proceeds benefit the local arts nonprofit.

Heels & Wheels

Chromalusion Photography’s first foray into calendar land is sure to turn some heads. Heels & Wheels features local models posing with assorted trucks, SUVs, motorcycles and muscle cars. Photographer Stephani Lofthouse specializes in automotive photography; her portraits range from the seductive Grace Welsh to the classy Aimee Holbrook to the edgy Kat Stewart.

Available through the company’s Facebook page, facebook.com/Chromalusionpix ($25 including shipping).

Men of Westville Pub

Men of Westville Pub

Now in its sixth year, the Men of Westville Pub calendar offers up scandalous shots of the pub’s male employees. All proceeds go to Helpmate (a local domestic-violence agency); the calendar ($10) can be purchased at Westville Pub (777 Haywood Road in West Asheville).

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Ray’s Weather Center

This locally based forecaster has grown tremendously in recent years and now covers multiple cities across WNC via 55 stations and 20 webcams. The Rays Weather.com 2011 Calendar combines essential weather data with serene local nature photos. Amazing views are paired with detailed information about daily, monthly and record high and low temperatures for all the areas covered. Available at raysweather.com for $13.95 plus shipping.

They Built Asheville

The Western North Carolina Historical Association’s They Built Asheville honors 12 of the city’s most distinctive structures, including the Basilica of St. Lawrence, the Kress Building and the Flatiron Building. Each month features a beautiful photo and an informative blurb; a map enables purchasers to find these historic structures. At $12 plus tax, it’s available at the SmithMcDowell House Museum gift shop (283 Victoria Road in Asheville) and at local bookstores. Profits benefit the historical association.

Treasured Trees

Asheville GreenWorks’ Treasured Trees of Buncombe County emphasizes caring for outstanding existing trees and also planting new ones that will grow to join them. An inspiring foldout with 13 colorful photos highlights many different types of trees, valued both for their beauty and their contributions to our environment, as well as the nonprofit’s dedicated volunteers. A small tear-off paper calendar denotes national holidays. Treasured Trees ($10) can be purchased at Asheville GreenWorks (357 Depot St. in the River Arts District) and at many local bookstores; all proceeds support planting trees in Asheville and Bumcombe County.

Weather or not

The Western North Carolina Weather Calendar, a product of UNCA’s Atmospheric Sciences Department, provides a wealth of daily weather info. In lieu of photos, you get the precise times for sunrise and sunset and projected high and low temperatures, plus end-of-month summaries of weather norms. Send a check for $7, payable to “Weather Calendar,” to: Dr. Alex Huang, ATMS UNC-Asheville, CPO 2450, 1 University Heights, Asheville NC 28804. X Mountain Xpress intern Amanda Varner lives in Black Mountain.

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news X labor

Bottled in bond

Buchi firing highlights living wage dispute

by David Forbes

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Every hour she worked at the Buchi plant in Weaverville, the labels Kila Donovan pasted on the bottles of fermented tea drink touted the company’s status as a certified living-wage employer. “I just wanted to go to work, get my paycheck and avoid drama, but after I’d been working there for a couple of months, other employees wondered why we were getting paid less than the living-wage amount,� she recalls.

According to the criteria of the AshevilleBuncombe Living Wage Campaign, a local company must pay $11.35 an hour without benefits or $9.85 with them to be certified as a living-wage employer.

But Donovan, who’d worked for Buchi since June, says she and the other workers earned $10 an hour plus two bottles of Buchi per shift. There were no other benefits, and the employees were treated as independent contractors.

Nonetheless, Donovan says she enjoyed her job and regarded the company’s owners, Sarah Schomber and Jeannine Buscher, as friends. The decision to contact Just Economics, the nonprofit behind the living-wage initiative, was simply an attempt to clear up confusion, Donovan maintains. “We weren’t asking for more money. ... We didn’t think they could pay any more,� she recalls. “We weren’t demanding anything; we just felt like what they were advertising was different than what was happening. It was an integrity issue: They were saying they were treating us a certain way, and that wasn’t true.�

So on Nov. 2 Donovan, acting on behalf of herself and two other employees, asked Just Economics how Buchi had satisfied those requirements.

The living-wage formula allows in-kind payments to be counted along with money and other benefits. When Buchi was certified, the company claimed to pay its workers $10.50 an hour plus two bottles of Buchi per five-hour shift, reports Vicki Meath, executive director of Just Economics.

Donovan, however, notes that “Buchi is a luxury item: We were all surprised that it would be considered part of a living wage. You can’t eat it; it’s not health care or better pay.� She also says she specifically asked Meath not to take action against her employer and not to use her name. “Employees shouldn’t have to risk their jobs for the integrity of the campaign,� Donovan asserts. “I was concerned it was going to be hard to remain anonymous, as Buchi has a staff of six.�

Reassured by Meath’s response and confident that a planned recertification of all the living-wage businesses beginning in January would address the issue, Donovan says she didn’t feel a need for further action, even vetoing Meath’s suggestion that the nonprofit send

14 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

A living wage? Despite the sticker on every bottle of Buchi Kombucha, a former employee of the Weaverville-based company claims she was fired for inquiring why the employer claimed to pay a living wage, but didn’t. photo by Jonathan Welch

the company a letter.

Nonetheless, Just Economics did contact Buchi, and after questioning all the employees, the owners fired Donovan on Nov. 17, citing “personality issues,� Donovan reports.

Contacted by Xpress, Schomber responded via e-mail: “We have a tight team and a happy, meaningful work environment. The accusation by a disgruntled former worker that Buchi received special treatment from Just Economics regarding the living-wage certification program is false. We volunteered to comply with certification criteria because of the values we both share. We support the idea that people should earn honest pay for honest work.�

Who can you trust?

“I don’t know exactly what happened,� says Donovan, “but everyone at Buchi found out about [the inquiry], and it totally endangered my job and the jobs of the two other employees.�

Over the next few days, she says, Schomber and Buscher questioned their workers individually about the situation. “Somebody told them I was the one who made the call,� Donovan maintains. “On Nov. 8, they pulled me aside and said they would be restructuring the team, and they wanted people who were happy at Buchi. I said I was very happy. ...

They said they’d heard from several people that I was unhappy and kept pressing.�

Donovan says she explained the workers’ concerns, emphasizing that no damage had been done to the company. “They actually apologized at first and said the situation would be resolved,� Donovan recalls. “But after that weekend, they had a different

story: They said they were within the guidelines, and they didn’t want people working with them [whom] they didn’t trust. They made me promise that any labor matters in the future I would take to them. I shouldn’t have to promise that, but I felt I had to, to save my job. There were never any other issues they mentioned: It was all about the living-wage campaign.�

Nine days later, however, Donovan was fired. “I was floored,� she reports. “I should be able to make an inquiry about the living wage without losing my job for it.�

Independent contractors

In her e-mail to Xpress, Schomber stated: “The values of Buchi are based on cooperation, mutual aid, clear communication and personal integrity. As mothers (and now business owners), we believe in nurturing and supporting our community.�

Schomber also wrote: “Just Economics contacted us to investigate a call they received questioning whether Buchi was meeting the living-wage criteria. They did not tell us who called. If Just Economics decides to modify their qualification policy to the point Buchi no longer qualifies, we will not have any problem with that decision at all. We’ll either adjust our pay rate or drop the certification.�

Schomber said Donovan’s firing was completely unrelated to her inquiry with Just Economics.

Meanwhile, another Buchi employee, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed numerous key details of Donovan’s story, including the pay rate, the fact that several workers were concerned about the apparent living-wage contradiction, and that Buchi’s owners had questioned the

employees individually.

Copies of paychecks provided by Donovan show that she was paid $170 on Oct. 22 and $140 on Nov. 5 (for 17 and 14 hours of work, respectively, she says). But the checks came with no pay stub, and no deductions were withheld.

Workers doing factory-style labor integral to a business’s operations are typically considered employees, and the employer must withhold taxes and Social Security contributions, among other requirements. Independent contractors must file their own quarterly taxes and benefit contributions.

“A contractor is [someone] like a painter — a job where there’s an element of independent judgment,” Neal O’Briant of the N.C. Department of Labor explains. Asked if there are circumstances under which the type of work being done at Buchi could qualify as contract labor, O’Briant said, “No, not really.”

Negative consequences

For her part, Donovan says she grasped the full impact of her “independent contractor” status when she filed for unemployment benefits and found she wasn’t eligible. She says she’s asked the Employment Security Commission to look into whether Buchi can legally treat its workers as contractors.

In a subsequent e-mail to Xpress, Schomber explained that Buchi’s workers were originally considered independent contractors because, in the beginning, it was a small-scale operation with unpredictable hours (depending on when a batch of kombucha finished fermenting) and a varying crew of workers.

“But as we are finally growing into more regular work, a more detailed understanding of the kombucha brewing process and, consequently, a more regular schedule, we have now been advised that it is time to transition to having employees,” Schomber wrote.

Xpress had asked Just Economics for copies of Buchi’s original living-wage certification, but Meath expressed concerns about “propietary information” the documents might reveal, saying she would take the matter to the nonprofit’s board. At press time, the documents weren’t available.

Shortly after Donovan’s firing, Meath left her an apologetic telephone message, saying, “I’m sorry about what happened to you. I wanted to reiterate that I didn’t use your name in anything, but I realize Buchi is a small company. I dealt with

the situation as best I knew how, but apologize for anything on my part that might not have been perfect. I want to reiterate that, as an organization, Just Economics is taking a lot of what you said in consideration. I wanted to apologize in any way, shape or form for any negative consequences.”

A “gray area”

“It is unfortunate that Just Economics has been targeted in a dispute that’s between an employer and employee,” says Meath. “We’re open to hearing constructive criticism, but we’re really proud of the work we’ve done. We’ve certified 200 businesses that are willing to pay a living wage even in the middle of an economic downturn. That’s an important achievement.”

She acknowledges, however, that there’s a “gray area” in the current policy, especially with regard to the in-kind remuneration that Buchi claimed. Meath says she’s working with The Mediation Center to set up a three-way meeting with Donovan and the Buchi owners.

“We’re trying to take from this [situation] things that will improve our programs,” she notes. “We do allow for other items to supplement the wage, but this is an aspect of our program we’re reconsidering.”

As for Donovan, Meath says, “I never used her name with anyone. Our plan was to investigate whether Buchi was still meeting criteria and to talk to them about future changes in our certification process. However, there’s no way to investigate Buchi without talking to Buchi.”

The campaign is working on setting up a tip line on its website where employees could make anonymous inquiries.

Beginning next year, adds Meath, Just Economics will reconsider its criteria (including the degree to which it allows supplementary items to count toward a living wage) and its policy on monitoring businesses already certified.

Still, she feels her group has been unjustly blamed in the wake of Donovan’s firing, noting that protesters showed up at a Dec. 6 Just Economics event.

“I feel like we’re being harassed, that we’re being targeted with misdirected anger,” Meath maintains. “I’m really proud to work for an organization that’s striving for economic justice.

I’m not sure why there’s a continued campaign to harass our organization.” X

Good through Christmas

Give the gift of Asheville this Holiday Season!

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David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 137, or dforbes@mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 15

outdoors Slip-sliding away

There’s no sport like snow sport

by Jake Frankel

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To many people, winter weather spells trouble. Snowy, icy roads can cause accidents, delays and school closures. Business activity slumps.

Travel plans are foiled. And the occasional power outage can really spark a snafu. Yet when I look out the window and see snowflakes swirling, those grown-up issues barely cross my mind. Instead, I am seized by an overpowering urge to go outside and play.

A recent study by the North Carolina Ski Areas Association suggests that I’m not alone.

Spurred by heavy snowfall, Western North Carolina resorts saw a record 671,554 skier and snowboarder visits last year, up 56,879 from 2008. And all that schussing and carving pumped an estimated $146 million into the economy while generating at least 1,600 jobs.

Since the region’s first chairlifts were installed in the late 1960s, local ski areas have seen slow but steady growth. More recently, they’ve invested in everything from snowmaking guns and lodges to the popular new tubing runs that bring the thrill of shooting down the slopes to folks with less expertise and cash.

Still, with an average annual snowfall of only about 16 inches, Asheville isn’t exactly a winter wonderland; enjoying cold-weather sports here may require some extra effort and creativity.

But with the right attitude and just a couple of inches of frozen stuff, even yards and neighborhood parks can be transformed into sleddingand-riding havens.

So far, this year’s off to a promising start.

A cold snap in early November enabled Cataloochee Ski Area and Sugar Mountain Resort to make snow and open way ahead of schedule. And December roared in like a snow leopard, with exceptionally frigid conditions offering ample opportunities for sledding, snowball fights, snowmen and assorted backcountry adventures.

Backcountry cackalack

On the afternoon of Dec. 5, Asheville boasted only a light dusting of snow, but the mountaintops right outside town were getting blasted.

A cold front had swept down from Canada, blowing moisture from the Great Lakes smack up against the northwestern ridges along the Tennessee border. Storm clouds hovered like flying saucers over the high peaks, dropping near-mystical amounts of snow.

At 5,516 feet, Big Bald is the highest point in Madison County. And though it’s only 45 minutes north of Asheville, on this day, it seemed a world away.

The climb

Trees glazed with sparkling rime and hillsides buried ever deeper in snow flanked the steep, winding, gravel road. (A friend who

16 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

I won’t grow up: There’s nothing like playing in the snow to bring out your inner child. photo by jake frankel

Hoofing it: Hiking uphill in the snow can be intense, but so can the reward of riding back down. photos by Jake Frankel

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 17

I stubbornly strapped into my board for what I hoped would be a heroic dive-bomb back down the drift. revealed this location to me a few years back swore me secrecy.) Deep drifts forced me to steer my four-wheel-drive wagon in the ruts left by a previous vehicle. When my car gave out, I started hoofing it. A pair of cross-country skiers swooped by and waved, their faces betraying concern at seeing me strike out on my own so late in the day.

A little ways up, I took what I thought would be a shortcut to the top: the Appalachian Trail. Ducking into the woods, I paused to tune into the deafening silence. The moment proved fleeting, however, as a mix of songs from Kanye West’s new album soon penetrated my thoughts, serving as the internal soundtrack to the rest of my hike.

I’d walked this route several times before, but thanks to a solid foot of snow, I soon found myself lost in a world of stunted spruce, fir and rhododendrons so thick I had to crawl on hands and knees, ducking under snow-laden branches.

Eventually, I emerged onto the ferociously exposed upper ridge. Battered by howling

Snow deep: Although Asheville averages only 16 inches of snow per year, higher elevations near town get much more. photo by Galen bernard

winds and blowing snow, I could feel the cold pierce every inch of exposed skin. It cut into my lungs and froze the condensation of my breath against my jacket; my fingers stung in my gloves as they clutched the metal edges of my snowboard. My clunky boots struggled to find footing on the ice below, subtly straining my ankles and knees. Glancing toward the windswept summit, it was easy to convince myself I was scaling Mount Everest or accomplishing some other momentous feat.

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Topping the bald was a cornice — a huge, waist-high snowdrift that resembled a white wave crashing along the ridge’s crest. Before attempting to surf it, I lunged into the snowbank free of my board. But I couldn’t jump so well in my oversize boots, and instead of the graceful leap I’d envisioned, I wound up tumbling down the slope, snow collecting in my jacket and behind my neck.

By this time, it was getting dark, and the wind and increasingly heavy snowfall left me practically blind. My fancy goggles weren’t much help, having fogged over in the wake of my failed attempt at flying. Nonetheless, I stubbornly strapped into my board for what I hoped would be a heroic dive-bomb back down the drift. This time, however, I was foiled by a natural booby trap: Almost immediately, a briar bush hiding under the powder tripped me up, forcing yet another face plant.

I tried to ascribe my lack of finesse to the near-zero visibility and my battered, unwaxed board. But there was no denying my own rusty skills. Don’t worry, I told myself: This was only your first run of the season. Hopefully there’ll be many more.

In the coming months, look for more articles on assorted winter sports and activities. Send your own stories, photos and videos plus any tips or ideas you’d like to share to jfrankel@mountainx.com. X Jake Frankel can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 115.

forecast Both the National Weather Service and the WNC-based Ray’s Weather Center are predicting a drier, milder winter than normal this year.

These long-range forecasts are founded on cooler-than-average water temperatures in the Pacific Ocean. This phenomenon, known as La Niña, is the opposite of last year’s El Niño pattern, which brought warmer temperatures to the Pacific and record snows to the Southern Appalachians.

But while La Niña years are historically characterized by above-average temperatures and below-average precipitation, that certainly hasn’t been the case so far. This is shaping up to be one of the coldest Decembers in Asheville’s recorded history, with the daily average temperature hovering nearly 8 degrees below the norm (40 degrees Fahrenheit). And at this writing, we’ve already doubled the average snowfall for the month, having received about 4 inches in recent weeks.

So is the current deep freeze destined to give way to an early spring?

“We really think the rest of the [winter is] going to be relatively mild,” asserts Ray Russell, the founder of Ray’s Weather, adding that he expects a high-pressure trough in the northern Atlantic to break up by Jan. 1, paving the way for “a radical change in the temperatures.”

Don’t break out your swimsuit just yet, however. “Maybe it will turn out all wrong,” Russell cautions with a laugh. “But we’re not worried about it yet.”

Help the Homeless this Holiday

Get outside and play

When you make your tax-deductible Holiday donations, please consider

A look at a few of WNC’s winter playgrounds

Asheville Homeless Network www.ashevillehomeless.org

Wolf Ridge Ski Resort

PO Box 205 Asheville, NC 28802 828-423-5883

Mars Hill skiwolfridgenc.com Vertical drop: 700 feet Skiable terrain: 82 acres Top elevation: 4,700 feet Average snowfall: 65 inches 2009-10 snowfall: 100 inches Snowtubing: yes Ice skating: no

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An easy 35-minute drive north of Asheville on Interstate 26, Wolf Ridge (formerly Wolf Laurel) is the most convenient ski area to town. It gets a lot more snow than the French Broad River Valley and boasts some of the region’s most varied terrain. Be forewarned, however, that the resort has been criticized for poor grooming and for particularly uneven conditions when the weather is less kind.

And amid the otherwise amazing views sits the resort’s new high-altitude housing development.

Notable deals: Tuesday nights (buy one lift ticket, get one free). Women’s Wednesdays (half-price nighttime lift tickets for ladies).

Cataloochee Ski Area

c h e c k o u t w h a t ’s n e w a t . . .

Maggie Valley cataloochee.com Vertical drop: 740 feet Skiable terrain: 50 acres Top elevation: 5,400 feet Average snowfall: 40 inches 2009-10 snowfall: 65.4 inches Snowtubing: yes Ice skating: no Perched above Maggie Valley in the Smokies since 1968, Cataloochee (about 45 minutes west of Asheville) now boasts 16 well-groomed slopes that are particularly well-suited to beginners and intermediate skiers. The resort’s huge snowmaking capacity makes for one of the longest seasons in the Southeast.

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Sugar Mountain Resort

Banner Elk skisugar.com Vertical drop: 1,200 feet Skiable terrain: 115 acres Top elevation: 5,300 feet Average snowfall: 78 inches 2009-10 snowfall: 118 inches Snowtubing: yes Ice skating: yes Sugar is the biggest, baddest ski area in the state, with the longest slopes, most varied terrain and most extensive lift sys-

There’s no business like snow business: A recent study by the North Carolina Ski Areas Association found that last year the industry pumped $146 million into the region’s economy. photo by Jake Frankel

BEFORE

AFTER

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 19

tem. And with a wide array of lodging options, it’s a popular choice for weekend getaways. But the neighboring Sugar Top condo development is hard to ignore, and lift tickets aren’t cheap (adult day passes are $40 weekdays, $66 weekends/ holidays).

Notable deals: March Madness (25 percent discount on lift tickets, rentals and lessons).

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Appalachian Ski Mountain Blowing Rock appskimtn.com Skiable terrain: 27 acres Vertical drop: 365 feet Top elevation: 4,000 feet Average snowfall: 50 inches 2009-10 snowfall: 71.8 inches Snowtubing: yes Ice skating: yes

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The smallest of WNC’s major resorts, Appalachian is best suited for beginners and has always been noted for the quality of its instructors and rental equipment. More recently, it’s built a reputation for some of the region’s best snowboard terrain parks: If sliding on rails and hurling yourself off 50-foot tabletop jumps is your thing, this is the place for you. (The website even specifies which artificial features are open each day.) Those seeking longer, steeper slopes might do better elsewhere.

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Beech Mountain Resort

36 N. Lexington Asheville,NC

Beech Mountain skibeech.com Vertical drop: 830 feet Skiable terrain: 95 acres Top elevation: 5,506 feet Average snowfall: 80 inches 2009-10 snowfall: 122 inches Snowtubing: yes Ice skating: yes The highest ski area in the eastern U.S., Beech tops out at 5,506 feet. Not surprisingly, it receives the most natural snow of any WNC ski area, averaging 80 inches per year. But at two-and-ahalf hours from Asheville, it’s also the farthest away. Those making the trek, however, will find a charming, Alpine village with shops and one of the state’s most picturesque skating rinks.

— J.F.

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Follow Mountain Xpress on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mountainx for local events, news & ticket giveaways!

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 23

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists Calendar for December 22 - 30, 2010 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code.

Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx. com/events.

Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Social & SharedInterest Groups Arise & Shine Toastmasters Through participation in the Toastmasters Communication and Leadership program, people from all backgrounds learn to effectively speak, conduct a meeting, manage a department

or business, lead, delegate and motivate. Info: 776-5076.

• THURSDAYS, 7:30-8:30am - Meeting at the University Highsmith building at UNCA. Artistic Asheville Singles Group • WEEKLY - Meeting locations vary. For single people under 35. Info: coolspiritualartistic@ gmail.com.

Futurist Group Forming in Asheville • Interested in the future? A futurist group is forming in Asheville to discuss various topics. This will make us sharper citizens, workers and business owners. If you are interested in tomorrow, join us. Info: ashevillefuturist@ gmail.com.

Land of Sky Toastmasters Your success in business is based on how effective you are. Through participation in the Toastmasters Communication and Leadership program, people from all backgrounds learn to effectively speak, conduct a

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit.

If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

meeting, manage a department or business, lead, delegate and motivate. $10/month. Info: www.landofskytoastmasters. org.

• TUESDAYS, 7am - Meeting at the South Asheville Reuter YMCA. WNC Parrothead Club • TH (12/23), 7pm - Jimmy Buffett fan club meets at the Holiday Inn in West Asheville.

Fans of music, bigger fans of giving back to WNC. Join us for charitable opportunities, fun and tunes from the Caribbean Cowboys Band. Free. Info: www.wncphc.com.

Government & Politics LibertyOnTheRocks.org A national nonpartisan social group connecting liberty advocates.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - The Liberty on the Rocks social meets at El Chapala Restaurant off of Merrimon Ave. Info: infinitybbc@gmail.com.

Seniors & Retirees Fitness at North Asheville Community Center An exercise group welcomes new participants interested in fun exercise. Come get healthy, and it’s free, too! No discrimination against younger participants.

• MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9-9:45am - Exercise.

Animals Community Partnership for Pets This nonprofit’s primary goal is to provide affordable spay/neuter services to communities in/around Henderson County.

Info: 693-5172 or www.communitypartnershipforpets.org.

• 1st & 4th SATURDAYS, Noon-3pm - Purchase your spay/neuter vouchers at the Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd., Hendersonville (at the Kmart entrance). $20 cats/$30 dogs.

Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605.

• WE (12/29), 5pm - Pet First Aid, a class at WAG, a bou-

tique at 231-A N. Main St., in Hendersonville. $30.

weeklypicks

Business Ready To Sell Or Buy A Restaurant In WNC? (pd.) We work exclusively with the food and beverage industry.

• Contact National Restaurant Properties in Asheville: (828) 225-4801. jeffnra@bellsouth. net • www.restaurantstore. com

Technology DisAbility Partners Located at 108 New Leicester Hwy., Asheville. Info: 2981977, www.westernalliance.org or www.disabilitypartners.org.

• MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8:30am-5pm - Give your computer a second life by donating it to Western Alliance to benefit people with disabilities. Donations are tax deductible.

Free Mac Computer Classes Classes are held at Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte St. To register: classes@charlottestreetcomputers.com.

• MONDAYS, 12:15-12:45pm - Mac OSX. • TUESDAYS, 12:15-12:45pm - iPhoto class.

• WEDNESDAYS, 12:1512:45pm - iTunes.

• THURSDAYS, 12:1512:45pm - iMovie.

Volunteering ABCCM Steadfast House for Women and Children • Through (12/24), 9am-6pm - ABCCM Women & Children’s Shelter asks the community to sponsor a child in need. To sponsor a child, ABCCM will offer the name, age 0-18, size and interests/ideas for gifts.

New gifts only. Drop off items at 20 Annandale St. Info: 373437 or brittany.williams@ abccm.org.

Asheville Area Habitat for Humanity Seeks Volunteers • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5-8pm - Head to Habitat and get a workout while volunteering in the Home Store warehouse. Info: volunteer@ ashevillehabitat.org or call 210-9377.

• Through FR (12/31) - Make a donation to Asheville Area Habitat for Humanity in the name of a loved one. Provide

24 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

Events are FREE unless otherwise noted.

wed

On Wednesday, Dec. 22, stop by the Toe River Arts Council's gallery at 102 W. Main St. in Burnsville to take in the “Artistree in the Home Show.” More than 50 WNC artists are showcased in a display of a contemporary living room decorated for the holiday season. The show runs through Jan. 3. Info: 6827215 or toeriverarts.org.

thur

De-stress at an evening of "total relaxation" on Thursday, Dec. 23, at Mountain Mindfulness Sangha. Be guided into a deep state through song, bells and guided imagery. Bring extra pillows and a blanket. Info and directions: mountainmindfulness@gmail.com, 684-7359 or 299-9382.

fri

Hands On! children's museum, 318 N. Main St. in Hendersonville, will host ornament-making sessions on Thursday, Dec. 23, between 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Friday, Dec. 24, between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. $5 for nonmembers. Info: 697-8333 or handsonwnc.org.

sat

Volunteers are invited to enjoy holiday treats and participate in festive activities at the Christmas Day Tea Party, a celebration with residents of Aston Park Health Care Center, held on Saturday, Dec. 25, from 2 to 4 p.m. Volunteers are encouraged to bring a card or gift for each resident, but this is not required.

Suggested gift items: holiday cards, stuffed animals, music and calendars. Info: 253-4437, ext. 317 or activitydir@astonparkhcc.org.

sun

The Carolina Mountain Club will offer two day hikes on Sunday, Dec. 26. Hike Shut-in Trail & Lake Powhatan Loop at 8:30 a.m. (rhysko@yahoo.com) or venture though the French Broad River Greenway at 1 p.m. (281-3253 or paularww@bellsouth.net). Info: carolinamtnclub.org.

mon

Help bake cookies for families staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center, which provides free lodging for families from out of town who have a loved one in an area hospital. Held on Monday, Dec. 27, from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Supplies provided. Info: handsonasheville.org.

tue

SciGirls presents "Going Green," a program sponsored by the Public Broadcasting System to engage girls in science, held on Tuesday, Dec. 28, from 6 to 8 p.m. Participation is free and all girls ages 9-14 are eligible to attend. Program details, specific hours and registration details at pari.edu.

the recipient’s name and address and they will receive a card about the donation made in their name. Located at 30 Meadow Road. Info: 210-9361 or ahubbard@ashevillehabitat. org.

Be Loved Community Center Located at 39 Grove St. in Asheville. Info: www.beloved. bbnow.org.

• Through (1/1) - Seeking donations for the day shelter and transitional housing program that serves the homeless community here in Asheville.

Needs include: monetary donations, tents, tent heaters, gloves, thermal underwear, over-the-counter medicines, flashlights, AA batteries and food.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Info: www.bbbswnc. org or 253-1470.

• The Mentors and Matches after-school program, which requires an one-hour per-week time commitment, seeks volun-

teers to work with elementary students ages 6-14. Activities include helping with homework, playing educational games, making art and more. Info: www.bbbswnc.org.

Christmas Day Tea Party at Aston Park Health Care Center • SA (12/25), 2-4pm - Christmas Day Tea Party with the residents of Aston Park. Volunteers are invited to enjoy wonderful holiday treats provided by staff and participate in festive activities. Volunteers are encouraged to bring a card or gift for each resident, but this is not required. Suggested gift items: holiday cards, stuffed animals, music and calendars.

Info: 253-4437, ext. 317 or activitydir@astonparkhcc.org.

Friends2Ferals • DAILY - Cat-loving volunteers are needed to help homeless cats. Duties include trapping, transporting to and from the Humane Alliance, post-surgery care, fostering kittens and fundraising. Info: 505-6737 or www.friends2ferals.org.

Gift Wrapping for Hospice • Through FR (12/24), 9-5pm - CarePartners Hospice is look-

ing for volunteers to share their gift wrapping talents. Donations to CarePartners Hospice will be made by customers in exchange for this service. All materials are provided. Held at the Asheville Mall. Info: 6670257 or bbp90@aol.com.

Hands On Asheville-Buncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1.

Visit the Web site to sign up for a project.

• MO (12/27), 7-8:30pm - Help bake cookies for families staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center. The center provides free lodging for families from out of town who have a loved one in an area hospital. Supplies provided.

MANNA FoodBank MANNA helps alleviate hunger in WNC by processing donated food for distribution throughout WNC. Located at 627 Swannanoa River Road. Info: 299-3663 or mannafoodbank. org.

• Through FR (12/24), 10am9pm - MANNA FoodBank seeks volunteers to help support the Ingles Giving Tree during their holiday fundraiser.

Volunteers will greet people and man the donation table at the Asheville Mall. Info: 299-3663, ext. 245 or amccarver@feedingamerica.org.

Meals On Wheels Meals On Wheels delivers meals to more than 500 homebound elderly people each weekday through the help of a network of more than 300 volunteers. Info: 253-5286.

• Meals On Wheels of Asheville/Buncombe County is seeking individuals interested in volunteering as substitute drivers to deliver meals to the homebound elderly. Free gas cards are provided.

Health Programs Lift Your Mood Women’s Circle • Begins January 3 (pd.) Create your individualized approach to help move through “dark night of the soul”, depression, anxiety with attention to body, mind, spirit.

Program addresses nutrition,

exercise, attitude, beliefs, mindfulness, support, etc. • Mondays, 7pm for 12 weeks.

• $240 includes workbook.

• Flex payment option. Preregister by December 29. • Information/registration: Marsha Rand, 772-5315. Maitri Center for Women.

ADD/ADHD and Meditation: Introduction Scientific findings from medical journals on the applications of the Transcendental Meditation technique for treatment of ADHD and other learning disorders. Discussion, video and Q&A. Free. Info: www. adhd-tm.org.

• WEEKLY - Meets at the Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut St. Info: 254-4350.

Art of Intimacy Learn life-changing communication and relationship skills, drawing from the work of Marshal Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication), Brad Blanton (Radical Honesty), Susan Campbell (Getting Real), John Bradshaw (Homecoming) and others. $60/4-session class.

Info: 254-5613 or www.theREALcenter.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7:309:30pm - Meeting.

C.L.O.S.E.R.R. Community Liaison Organization for Support, Education, Reform and Referral. The group offers support, networking, education, entertainment and fellowship for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Straight and their Allies.

• TUESDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets in the social room at All Souls Episcopal in Asheville.

Free Blood Pressure Clinic • TUESDAYS, 1-6pm - The Faith Community Nurse at SOS Anglican Mission will offer free blood pressure checks at 370 N. Louisiana Ave, Suite C1.

Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org.

Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below.

Appointment and ID required.

• TU (12/28), 10am-3:30pm - The 13th annual WTZQ-Grace Lutheran Church Holiday Blood Drive at Grace Lutheran Church, 1245 6th Ave. West.

Info: 693-5605.

Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR/First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes

held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register, call 258-3888, ext. 221. Info: www.redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below.

Appointment and ID required.

• Through FR (12/24) - “Pint for Pint” Blood Drive at the Asheville Donor Center, 100 Edgewood Road. All presenting donors will receive a coupon for a free pint of BBQ pork, Brunswick stew or a side item from Luella’s BBQ on Merrimon Ave. • TU (12/28), 2-6pm - Barnardsville Fire Dept., 100 Dillingham Road. Info: 626-2624.

Support Groups Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families ACOA is an anonymous Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes.Info:http:// adultchildren.org.

• FRIDAYS, 7pm - “Inner Child” meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave., Asheville.Info: 989-8075.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - “Living in the Solution” meets at The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Open big book study. Info: 989-8075.

• MONDAYS, 7pm “Generations” meets at First Congregational United Church Of Christ, 20 Oak St. at College, Asheville.

Info:474-5120.

Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area.

Info: 800-286-1326 or www. wnc-alanon.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7:30-9pm Newcomers meeting 7:30pm, Discussion meeting 8-9pm: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Enter through parking lot door. Info: 225-0515.

• WEDNESDAYS, 8pm - Al-Anon in West Asheville: Meeting at West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Rd., across from Ingles. Newcomers meeting at 7:30pm. Info: 258-4799.

• THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197.

• FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of AlAnon is a gay-friendly support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at

All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 670-6277 (until 9pm).

• FRIDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• SATURDAYS, 10am - Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. • SATURDAYS, 10am Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon.

Beginners welcome.

• SATURDAYS, Noon Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library.

Enter via side glass doors.

• SUNDAYS, 5-6pm Discussion meeting: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. Info: 281-1566.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - Black Mountain Al-Anon: Meeting at First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), 201 Blue Ridge Road (corner of Blue Ridge Road and Hwy. 9). Info: 669-0274.

• MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• TUESDAYS, 5:30pm - 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Study at Kennilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road.

• TUESDAYS, 7pm Discussion meeting: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Bipolar and Depression Support Group • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm Magnetic Minds meets at 314F Patton Ave., in the Parkwood Business Park. Peer support, empowerment, recovery and advocacy. Info: 318-9179.

Cancer Support Group for Caregivers • MONDAYS, 11am-Noon - Meetings at Jubilee, 46 Wall St., Asheville. Emotional support for family members of people experiencing cancer.

Facilitated by Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Love offering.

Info: 299-0394.

Cancer Support Group for Women • MONDAYS, 1:30-3pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church. Emotional support for women experiencing cancer. Facilitated by licensed clinical social worker.

Info: 299-0394.

Crystal Meth Anonymous • MONDAYS, 8pm - This 12step meeting welcomes anyone who has a desire to quit using crystal meth. The group meets at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St. Info: 252-8729.

Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the sup-

port group. Info: 337-4685 or www.thecenternc.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Focus is on positive peer support, coping skills and recovery tools. Led by licensed professionals. Free.

Financial Therapy Groups • TUESDAYS, 7-8pm - Try out new ways of living and of being, supported by others with similar circumstances, for the collective wisdom of the group to enlighten all, while lightening the burden of each. $8. Info: www.financialtherapygroups. com.

Journaling Group • THURSDAYS - Want to better know yourself? The single most essential instrument for nurturing your spirit is a personal journal. Sharing a journal with others can help clarify your thoughts, your emotions, and your reactions to certain people or situations. Info: 989-9811.

National Alliance on Mental Illness Dedicated to improving the lives of persons with severe mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, OCD, PTSD and anxiety disorders. Free connection recovery support groups.

Info: 505-7353.

• 2nd & 4th MONDAYS, 11am - Group meets at 356 Biltmore Ave., Suite 298.

Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with lifecontrolling problems. Meetings are held at S.O.S. Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org or 575-2003.

• MONDAYS, 6:30PM - A support group for men will meet.

Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively.

Meetings are one hour unless noted.

• THURSDAYS, Noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899.

• SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: Carver Parks & Recreation Center, 101 Carver Ave. off Blue Ridge Road. Open relapse and recovery mtg. Info: 686-8131.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm Hendersonville: Balfour United Meth. Church, 2567 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy. 25). Open mtg.

Info: 1-800-580-4761.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Open mtg. Info: 277-8185.

• TUESDAYS, 10:30am-Noon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Open BBSS mtg. Info: 280-2213.

S-Anon For those affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. Info: 545-4287 or 606-6803.

• WEEKLY - Three meetings are available per week.

Sexaholics Anonymous SA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Call confidential voice mail 681-9250 or e-mail saasheville@gmail.com.

Info: www.orgsites.com/nc/ saasheville/.

• DAILY - Asheville meetings.

Womenheart of Asheville • Alternate WEDNESDAYS, 10am-Noon or 6-8pm - This support group for women with heart disease meets at Parkway Behavioral Health, 31 College Place. Info: Rickitannen@ gmail.com or 505-2534.

Sports Groups & Activities Filipino Martial Arts Kuntao: Traditional empty-hand system of self defense. Kali: Filipino method of stick-andknife combat. First two lessons are free. Info: 777-8225 or http://kuntao.webs.com.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7pm - Classes at Asheville Culture Project, 257 Short Coxe Ave.

Outdoors Asheville Track Club The club provides information, education, training, social and sporting events for runners and walkers of any age. Please see the group Web site for weekly events and news. Info: www.ashevilletrackclub.org or 253-8781.

• SUNDAYS, 8:30am - Trail run for all paces. Meet at the NC Arboretum, Greenhouse Parking Area. Info: 648-9336.

Blue Ridge Bicycle Club For more information on the club, or to view a current and comprehensive club calendar: www.blueridgebicycleclub.org.

• WEEKLY - Leads road rides ranging from novice to advanced skill levels. Rides usually have a designated Ride Leader and participants will not be left behind.

Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the conservation of our

natural resources, through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www.carolinamtnclub.org.

• WE (12/22), 9am Buckwheat Knob to Coontree Loop. Info: 738-3395 or bcmorg@hughes.net.

• SU (12/26), 8:30am - Shutin Trail & Lake Powhatan Loop.

Info: 243-3630 or rhysko@ yahoo.com —- 1pm - French Broad River Greenway. Info: 281-3253 or paularww@ bellsouth.net.

• WE (12/29), 8:30am - Hospital Rock to Pretty Place and Rainbow Falls. Info: 859-9387 or gleason.ann@ gmail.com.

John Rock Hike • TU (12/28), 10am-2pm - Hike one of the best trails in Pisgah Forest. Located above the NC Fish Hatchery. Might not be suitable for young children.

Moderate 5 miles. Meet at the Pisgah Ranger Station, Brevard.

Info: (864) 710-1567.

North Slope Trail Hike • MO (12/27), 9:30am1:30pm - Hike the North Slope Trail above Davidson River Campground. A good excuse to try out all the new hiking gear and clothes Santa brought you for Christmas. Moderate 4 miles. Info: (864) 710-1567.

Eco Asheville Green Drinks A networking party that is part of the self-organizing global grassroots movement to connect communities with environmental ideas, media and action. Meets to discuss pressing green issues at Craggie Brewing Co., 197 Hilliard Ave. Info: www.ashevillegreendrinks. com.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5-7pm Program with guest speakers.

ECO Events The Environmental and Conservation Organization is dedicated to preserving the natural heritage of Henderson County and the mountain region as an effective voice of the environment.

Located at 121 Third Ave. W. Hendersonville. Info: 692-0385 or www.eco-wnc.org.

• Through SA (2/5) - Heritage apple, peach and chestnut trees will be available for order.

Maintain biodiversity while raising money for ECO. $25/tree.

Trees must be picked up at the Hendersonville Visitor’s Center parking lot on Feb. 5.

Gardening Pearson Community Garden Workdays

• WEDNESDAYS, 3-9pm - Gather in the Pearson Garden at the end of Pearson Drive in Montford with folks and grow some food. A potluck and produce to take home often follow the work.

Kids At The Health Adventure Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am5pm & Sun., 1-5pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11. Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext.

324. Info: www.thehealthadventure.org.

• THURSDAYS, 10:3011:30am - Preschool Play Date. Interactive fun just for preschoolers led by museum facilitators. Free with admission.

• SATURDAYS, Noon-2pm - Experiment with science during Super Science Saturdays.

Featuring hands-on activities led by museum facilitators, the programs are fun for all ages.

Free with admission.

Celebration Singers of Asheville Community children’s chorus for ages 7-14. For audition/performance info: 230-5778 or www.singasheville.org.

• THURSDAYS, 6:30-7:45pm - New singers are invited to join the chorus. Rehearsals at First Congregational Church, downtown Asheville.

Hands On! This children’s museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.Fri., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: 697-8333 or www.handsonwnc.org.

• WE (12/22), 10-11:30am - An African Drumming Class, led by local drum teacher Maria Mason Freeman, will be offered for children ages 4-10. $15/$10 for nonmembers.

Space is limited.

• TH (12/23) & FR (12/24) - Make a bell-shaped ornament. Free for members/$5 nonmembers.

• TU (12/28), 10:30am - “Crazy Chemists make Crazy Concoctions.” Come make spray chalk. Designed for children ages 3-10. Free for members/$5 nonmembers.

Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute Info: 862-5554 or www.pari. edu.

• TU (12/28), 6-8pm - SciGirls presents “Going Green,” sponsored by the Public Broadcasting System to engage girls in science. Participation is free and all girls ages 9-14 are eligible. Program details, specific hours and registration details at www.pari.edu.

Waynesville Parks and Recreation Info: 456-2030 or recprograms@townofwaynesville. org.

• MO (12/27) through FR (12/31), 7:30am-5:30pm - The recreation center offers a “Winter Camp for Children,” open to youth in grades 1-5. $15 for members/$20 for nonmembers. Bring a lunch, two snacks, a swimsuit, towel and a quiet activity such as a book.

Spirituality Asheville Meditation Group (pd.) Practice meditation in a supportive group environment.

Guided meditations follow the Insight/Mindfulness/Vipassana practices. Insight meditation cultivates a happier, more peaceful and focused mind.

Our &quot;sangha&quot; (a community of cool people) provides added support and joy to one’s spiritual awakening process. All are invited. • By donation. • Tuesdays, 7pm8:30pm: Guided meditation and discussion. • Sundays, 10am-11:30am: Seated meditation and dharma talks. • The Women’s Wellness Center, 24 Arlington Street, Asheville.

• Info/directions: (828) 8084444. • www.ashevillemeditation.com Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA. (828)258-3229.

Mindful Self-Compassion Course: If Not Now, When? (pd.) Tired of being your worst enemy? Driven to perfection?

Tough on yourself? Cultivate mindful self-compassion practices for everyday life.

Simple tools for responding in a kind and compassionate way to your suffering, feelings of inadequacy and self-judgments.

2 hour sessions, 8 session course. • Beginning week of January 17. • Evening and daytime courses. • Fee $140 includes all materials and book.

• Enrollment ends January 10.

• Course limited to 8 participants/group. Call 231-2107 for more information.

Open Heart Meditation (pd.) Learn easy, wonderful practices that opens your life to the beauty within and connects you to your heart. • Free. 7pm, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

645-5950 or 296-0017. http:// www.heartsanctuary.org A Mountain Mindfulness Sangha Part of the World Community of Mindful Living, inspired by the teachings of THICH NHAT HANH, the group practices mindfulness as the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. Practicing with a “sangha” (a community) can bring both joy and support.

All are invited. Info & directions:

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 25

mountainmindfulness@gmail. com, 684-7359 or 299-9382.

• TH (12/23) - An evening of Total Relaxation. Lie down comfortably with pillows and a blanket, while you are guided into a deep state through song, bells and guided imagery.

Please bring extra pillows and a blanket.

• TH (12/30) - Anattasati Magga joins Mountain Mindfulness Sangha for a shared evening of chanting, walking and sitting. Bring a cushion.

An Evening With Spirit • MONDAYS, 6-8pm - You are invited to an evening with Spirit. Theo Salvucci channels messages from the angelic realm at The White Horse, 105c Montreat Road, Black Mountain. Donations only. Info: 713-2439.

Asheville Center for Transcendental Meditation/Free Introductory Lectures Your brain needs this: Scientists know TM creates brainwave coherence. Only an orderly brain can support higher consciousness. TM is easy to learn—enjoyable to practice.

Dissolves deep-rooted stress, reduces anxiety and depression. Verified by 600 scientific studies. Info: 254-4350 or www.MeditationAsheville.org.

• SUNDAYS, 2pm - Meeting at Maharishi Enlightenment Center, 165 E. Chestnut St. Learn how to directly access the field of infinite creativity, intelligence and bliss within you, revitalizing mind and body and creating peace in collective consciousness. Topics: Meditation and brain research; How meditation techniques compare; Meditation for social change; “What science says” and What is “transcending”?

Free. Please RSVP. Asheville Fortune Teller’s Guild • SUNDAYS, 7pm - Meeting.

The guild encourages honesty and responsibility as well as maintaining a high standard for readings. Tarot readers, astrologers, palmists and any other non-mediums or non-psychics are welcome. Location info: 777-9368.

Asheville Meditation Center Classes are held at the Vanuatu Kava Bar, 151 S. Lexington Ave, unless otherwise noted.

Info: 505-2300 or www.meditateasheville.org.

• TUESDAYS, 6-8pm.

Meditative Yoga from 66:45pm. Deep relaxation and seated meditation from 7-8pm.

Donations excepted.

Avatar Meher Baba “I have come not to teach but to awaken.” Info: 274-0307 or 274-7154.

• SUNDAYS, 4pm - Meetings occur most Sundays in Asheville. Share Meher Baba’s inspiring message of divine

love and unity in the midst of diversity. Call for locations.

Awakening Practices Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation and discussion. Info: Trey@QueDox.com.

• 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets at Insight Counseling, 25 Orange St. Church of the Resurrection Located at 1543 Patton Ave., Asheville.

• FR (12/24), 8pm & SU (12/26), 10am - Christmas services. Christmas carols, liturgical dance, Christmas lessons and Holy Communion.

Info: 691-5455.

Cloud Cottage Sangha This branch of the World Community of Mindful Living meets at 219 Old Toll Circle in Black Mountain, to practice seated meditation and mindfulness training. All events by donation. Info: 669-0920, cloudcottage@bellsouth.net or www.cloudcottage.org.

• 4th WEDNESDAYS, 67:30pm - “Learn to Meditate” class.

• THURSDAYS, 6-8pm - Wild Mind, a creative writing and art workshop. Bring a journal. $25 suggested donation.

Community Worship Service With Fellowship Meal • SUNDAYS, 2-4pm - Join SOS Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Asheville, for a worship service, followed by an Agape Fellowship meal.

Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Free. Info: 252-0538 or www.ashevilleccc.com.

• 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 5-6:15pm - Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners.

Creative Technology & Arts Center Located at Odyssey Community School, 90 Zillicoa St., Asheville. Info: www. ctacenter.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5:307:30pm - “Sound Immersion,” with River Guerguerian and John Vorus. Info: www.

ShareTheDrum.com. $15.

Edgar Cayce Study Group • TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - Meet at West Asheville Unity Church, 130 Shelburne Road. Info: 298-8494 or jasonference@ bellsouth.net.

Events at First Baptist Church Located at 5 Oak St. (corner of Charlotte St. and I-240) in downtown Asheville. Info: www.fbca.net or 252-4781.

• FR (12/24), 6-7pm Christmas Eve Candlelight and Communion Service. Welcome God’s great light with candles, communion, and choral music of this Advent season. Sing the carols of this sacred night with friends and family. Child care is available.

Events at First United Methodist Church Located at 204 Sixth Ave. W., Hendersonville. Info: 693-4275 or www.hvlfumc.org.

• WE (12/22), 9am-7pm - The Advent Prayer Labyrinth will be open to the public. In a quiet space, a large canvas, imprinted with a replica of the labyrinth of the great cathedral of Chartres, France, will be laid out.

Insight Meditation Group • TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - People of all experience levels are welcome to join this drop-in meditation group.

Meditation instructions will be given to those who are new to the practice. $5. Info: http://bit. ly/9XujJ6.

Meditation Group • SUNDAYS, 8-9pm - Meditation followed by tea ceremony. By donation. “Yoga without meditation is like driving a car with no steering wheel.”

Deepen your asana practice by cultivating mindfulness through meditation. Donations optional.

Info: info@yogasouth-asheville. com.

Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 2583241 or www.billwalz.com.

• MO (12/27) - No class.

Mother Grove Events Info: 230-5069, info@ mothergroveavl.org or www. mothergroveavl.org.

• SUNDAYS, 10am - Drum Circle —- 10:30am - Weekly devotional service at the Temple. A simple service to ground and center you for the week. Spend some quiet time with the Goddess, with song, readings, meditation and prayer. At 70 Woodfin Place, Suite 2.

• MONDAYS - Book discussion group, facilitated by Antiga, on the book The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lemer.

Info: 285-9927.

Psychic Development Class • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Learn to use your intuition to help yourself and others. Explore remote viewing, channeling, mediumship, telepathy, precognition and healing in a relaxed and fun-filled atmosphere. All are welcome.

Love donations accepted. Info: 828-255-8304 or ecastro1@ charter.net.

Puja at Maha Shakti Mandir

• SATURDAYS, 6-8pm - Gathering at Maha Shakti Mandir (Temple of the Great Goddess). Join Yogacharya Kalidas for Puja, chanting and spiritual discourse. Services offered on a donation basis.

Sound Healing at Skinny Beats Drum Shop • SUNDAYS, Noon - Linda Go facilitates Sounds of the Chakras and Sound Healing Circle for health and well-being at Skinny Beats, 4 Eagle St., Asheville. Love donations.

Free community offering from AshevilleSoundHealing.com.

Info: 776-3786.

Sri Sri Sri Shivabalayogi Meditation Group Receive initiation into Sri Swamiji’s one-hour meditation technique. One-hour of silent meditation followed by Bhajans (devotional singing). Fairview location directions: 299-3246.

Info: www.shivabalamahayogi. com.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm “Silent Meditation.” Free.

St. Germain Aquarian Consciousness Fellowship Sacred spaceusing the St. Germain Violet Flameto support ascension clearingis created with live high-frequency intuitive piano music from classical composers and includesthe Atomic Accelerator Chair and Water into Golden Elixir ceremonies. Info: 658-3362.

• WEDNESDAYS, 6:309:30pm - Meditation and potluck in the Weaverville area.

Toning for Peace Experience the health benefits of a form of singing anyone can do. Generate well-being and peace within. $5-$10. Info: 667-2967 or www.toningforpeace.org.

• 2nd & 4th SUNDAYS, 1:302:45pm - At the Light Center in Black Mountain.

Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville Located at the corner of Charlotte St. & Edwin Pl. Info: 254-6001 or www.uuasheville. org.

• SUNDAYS, 9:15am & 11:15am - Services.

Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart.

Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band.

Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www. unitync.net.

• WE (12/22), 7pm - “Satsang with Chad.” Relax into peace through guided meditation.

Love offering.

• FR (12/24), 7:30pm “Christmas Eve Candle-Lighting Service.” Love offering.

Unity Church of Asheville Looking for something different? Unity of Asheville explores the deeper spiritual meaning of the scriptures combined with

26 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

an upbeat contemporary music program to create a joyous and sincere worship service. Come join us this Sunday and try it for yourself. Located at 130 Shelburne Rd., W. Asheville.

Info: 252-5010 or www.unityofasheville.com.

• 5th SUNDAYS, 11am - Musical Celebration Service.

Musicians are always welcome. Info: 768-3339.

• SUNDAYS, 11am - Spiritual Celebration Service —- 12:151:30pm - A Course in Miracles classes with Rev. Gene Conner.

Windhorse Zen Community Meditation, Dharma talks, private instruction available Tuesday and Thursday evenings, residential training.

Teachers: Lawson Sachter and Sunya Kjolhede. Main center: 580 Panther Branch, Alexander.

City center: 12 Von Ruck Court.

Call for orientation. Info: 6458001 or www.windhorsezen. org.

• SUNDAYS, 9:30-11am - Meditation, chanting and a Dharma talk.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Meditation and chanting.

• FRIDAYS, 5:30-7:15pm - Meditation and chanting at the City Center.

Film Film Screenings at the Wine Studio of Asheville Located at 169 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 255-5955.

• TU (12/28), 7pm - Free screening of Fredrico Fellini’s Eight and a Half.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings 16 Patton Gallery hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-6pm (open on Sun. May-Oct. only). Info: 236-2889 or www.16patton.com.

• Through SA (1/8) - Paintings and drawings by select staff and students of The Fine Arts League of the Carolinas and Reflections, a solo exhibition by Lori Gene, will be on display.

American Folk Art & Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary self-taught artists and regional pottery. Info: 2812134 or www.amerifolk.com.

• Through SU (12/26) - Painter Cheri Bracket in Full Circle.

Art League of Henderson County The ALHC meets and shows exhibits at the Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Hwy. (25N) in downtown Hendersonville. For viewing hours: 692-0575. Info: 6987868 or www.artleague.net.

• Through FR (1/7) - 2010 All Member Art Show at the Opportunity House.

Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 1-5pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville.

Info: 693-8504 or www. acofhc.org.

• Through FR (12/24) - Through A Lens: Carolina Images, an exhibition of photography, will be presented at First Citizens Bank, 539 North Main St., Hendersonville.

Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org.

• Through SU (4/24) - The Olmsted Project.

• Through SU (3/13) - The Director’s Cut: 1995-2010.

Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Open Mon.-Fri., 10am-5pm, and Sat., 10am6pm. Info: 768-0246 or www. bellavistaart.com.

• Through FR (12/31) - Feature wall artist Skip Rohde, Etchings & Dry Points of Asheville Area.

New paintings: August Hoerr.

Black Mountain Center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain. Gallery Hours: Mon.-Wed. & Fri., 10am-5pm (closed Sat. during winter months). Info: 669-0930 or www.BlackMountainArts. org.

• Through FR (1/21) - Gallery Pottery Show, featuring works from the Black Mountain Center for the Arts Clay Studio.

Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public programs. Info: 3508484, bmcmac@bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege. org.

• Through SA (2/5) - Paintings

by Don Alter and W.P. “Pete” Jennerjahn.

Blue Spiral 1 The gallery at 38 Biltmore Ave. is open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm.

Info: 251-0202 or www. bluespiral1.com.

• Through FR (12/31) - Milestones: Blue Ridge Parkway, an exhibition by 20 regional artists; “animal imagery earthenware” by Ron Meyers; and figurative ceramic sculpture by Donna Polseno.

Events at the Turchin Center Appalachian State University’s Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www.tcva.org.

• Through SA (3/19) - The Hemlocks! The Hemlocks!: Grief and Celebration by Lowell Hayes in Gallery B and Mayer Gallery, West Wing —- In the Void, sculpture by David Meyer in Gallery A, West Wing.

Flood Gallery Events Located in the Phil Mechanic building at 109 Roberts St. in Asheville’s River Arts District.

Info: 254-2166 or www.floodgallery.org.

• Through SA (1/8) - The Birds On Acid, work by Aaron Sizemore.

Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-6pm, Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., Noon5pm. Info: 254-8577 or www. thehaengallery.com.

• Through MO (1/31) - Wintertide, a rotating group exhibit of works from many of The Haen Gallery artists.

Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www.haywoodarts.org.

• Through FR (12/31) - It’s a Small, Small Work 2010, featuring artwork 12” or smaller by more than 100 artists from the Blue Ridge National Heritage Area in N.C. Miya Gallery Located at 20 N. Main St., Weaverville. Info: 658-9655 or www.miyagallery.com.

• Through FR (12/31) - Art

by Simone Wilson will be on display.

Seven Sisters Gallery This Black Mountain gallery is located at 117 Cherry St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 669-5107 or www.sevensistersgallery.com.

• Through MO (3/28) - Earth and Water, oil paintings by Martha Kelley.

Toe River Arts Council The TRAC Center Gallery is at 269 Oak Ave. in Spruce Pine.

Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm.

The Burnsville TRAC Gallery is at 102 W. Main St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Spruce Pine info: 765-0520. Burnsville info: 682-7215. General info: www.toeriverarts.org.

• Through MO (1/3) - Artistree in the Home - Winter Show in Burnsville. More than 50 WNC regional artists are showcased in a contemporary living room

interior featuring handmade wood furnishings, iron wrought lamps, candlesticks, clay and glass sculptures, textile pillows, paintings and more.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Art at PULP Located underneath the Orange Peel at 101 Biltmore Ave., Asheville. Info: www.pulpasheville.com.

• TH (12/9) through MO (1/31) - Paintings by Asheville artist Brian Haynes.

Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The Visitor Education Center. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org.

• Through MO (2/28) - Emissaries of Peace: The 1762 Cherokee and British Delegations, an exhibition on display in the Baker Center.

Art at West Asheville Library • Through MO (1/31) - A multimedia exhibition by local artist Mimi Harvey will be on display at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road.

Info: 250-4750.

Clingman Cafe Located at 242 Clingman Ave. in the River Arts District.

• Through FR (12/31) - Peace + Joy + Love = Art. The show will feature the work of local artists Dawn Dalto, Les Powell, Heather Tinnaro and Melissa Weiss.

Laurel Chapter of the Embroiderers’ Guild of America Holds monthly meetings and smaller groups dedicated to teaching different types of needlework. The chapter is also involved in numerous outreach projects. Guests are always welcome at meetings. Info: 654-9788 or www.egacarolinas.org.

• Through FR (12/31) - The chapter is celebrating the holiday season with a holidaythemed exhibit of hand-stitched items on display at the Henderson County Library.

Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: 225-5509 or www.pushtoyproject.com.

• Through MO (1/31) - Birdsong, new drawings, paintings and installation by David Hale.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Collage Mandala Class (pd.) 2nd Floor Wedge. River Arts District, 129 Roberts Street. $100 includes 2 classes/all materials/one painting. • Registration/information, call Amy at LangeArt, (630) 200-9410 for details!

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

“There’s always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in,” wrote novelist Graham Greene. I’ll add to that: There are at least three moments in adulthood when a new door opens and invites the rest of the future in. Judging by the astrological omens, I’m guessing that one such breakthrough lies ahead for you in 2011. What can you do to expedite and encourage fate’s summons? Here’s one possibility: Surrender to the naked truth of what you love.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

If oil companies were given permission to sink their drilling rigs into the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, the petroleum they produced would ultimately lower gasoline prices by four cents per gallon. To my mind, that’s not a good trade-off. Let this scenario serve as a cautionary metaphor for you in 2011, Taurus. Don’t share your pristine wilderness or soulful beauty with exploitative types who offer iffy rewards.

Instead, hold out for those who appreciate you profoundly and whose own gifts help you to thrive.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Freud said that among all human endeavors, there were three “impossible professions” that inevitably yielded unsatisfying results. They were child-rearing, the governing of nations, and psychoanalysis. My own experiences don’t entirely confirm this. My parents raised me pretty well and I’ve given my daughter a decent upbringing. Of the nine psychotherapists I’ve consulted in my life, two were excellent healers and none were damaging. But even those relatively winning projects were sometimes fraught with unsolvable riddles, chronic frustrations, and maddening uncertainties. I bring this up, Gemini, because I think 2011 will be a time when you will generate far more gratification and success than usual in your own versions of “impossible professions.” Unsolvable riddles, chronic frustrations, and maddening uncertainties won’t be completely absent, but they could very well be at an all-time low.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“We have to believe in free will. We have no choice.” So said author Isaac Bashevis Singer.

I encourage you to adopt that puckish thought as your motto in 2011, my fellow Cancerian.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, this will be our year to supercharge our willpower and intensify our ability to carry out our plans — but always with good humor and a highly tuned sense of irony. In fact, one of the best ways to deepen our command over our own unconscious impulses and the caprices of fate will be to take ourselves — and everything else, too — less seriously.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

The coming year will be a time to think big — maybe even bigger than you’ve dared to

think in over a decade. That doesn’t mean you should be rash, reckless, or unrealistic. On the contrary. Your expansive dreams should be carefully wrought and anchored in a detailed understanding of how things actually work.

As an example of what not to do, learn from Snoop Dog. The rapper wanted to rent all 62 square miles of the small European nation of Liechtenstein so he could film his music video there. Liechtenstein authorities turned him down, but only because his team didn’t ask far enough in advance. Had he been better organized, the whole country could have been his.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

An Oregon man named Don Wesson stopped his truck by the side of the road and took home a 40-pound rock that caught his eye. That was more than a decade ago. For years he used it as part of a border to prevent his dog from messing up his garden. Then he saw a TV show about meteorites and brought the rock to scientists. They told him it was a 4.5 billion-yearold meteorite that fell to earth long ago and originally came from the asteroid belt. Other experts told him he could probably sell the exotic artifact for as much as $40,000. I predict a metaphorically similar development in your life during the coming year: the discovery of a valuable old thing from far away that you will underestimate at first.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Richard Grossinger is my friend, my teacher, and the brilliant author of numerous books.

(His latest is called 2013.) He is also a humble adept in the high art of gratitude. On his website, he has a page devoted to expressing vivid appreciation for the 71 best teachers of his life. (bit.ly/YourTeachers) His testimony is a riveting and touching reminder of how each of us is a creation of all the important people we’ve loved and hated. Compiling such a list should, I think, be a rite of passage for anyone who aspires to be an authentic human being. There will never be a better time than 2011 for you to do this work yourself, Libra.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Just when I found out the meaning of life,” said comedian George Carlin, “they changed it.” I’m hoping that will be one of your top inspirational jokes in 2011, Scorpio. If all goes well, you will no longer be content with all your previous answers to the question “What is the meaning of life?” — either because “they changed it,” as Carlin suggested, or because it’s no longer interesting or useful to you. This is very good news, in my opinion. You will have the invigorating privilege of going off in search of fresh answers to the riddle of the ages!

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The United Nations has declared that 2011 will be the International Year of Chemistry — a time to honor the role chemistry plays in our lives.

Meanwhile, you Sagittarians will be celebrating your own personal Year of Chemistry, although

in a different sense of the word — the sense that means natural attraction, spontaneous connection, intuitive allure, and uncanny synchronicity. Don’t let this abundance of grace make you overconfident, and don’t just sit back and let it run wild. Be a master chemist intent on rigorously cultivating the very best experiments.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I have tracked down a formula that I think should be one of your central ongoing meditations in 2011. It’s from newsman David Brinkley: “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.” In the coming months you will be extra smart about knowing which of these bricks to use and how exactly to position them in your foundation. And more than that, Capricorn: You will have special insight not only about bricks that have been flung fairly recently, but also about those that have been hurled at any time in your life.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The city of Stockholm, Sweden consists of 14 islands that are spanned by more than 50 bridges. It’s a beautiful, clean, culturally rich place that’s ranked among the best urban centers in the world. I’m hoping that in the coming year you will develop a certain resemblance to it.

With a little luck and a clear intention to forge strong new links, you will connect the many fragmented areas of your life, creating a unified network that ensures each part is humming in resonance with the whole. In fact, let’s call 2011 your Bridge-Building Year.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

At age 19, I wanted to be a poet when I grew up. My goal was to write a poem every day forever. And yet I had almost no ambition to get published. I was satisfied to bask in the ecstatic epiphany that accompanied each fresh poetic eruption. Then one day I was browsing in a bookshop and saw a flyer for a big upcoming poetry reading. It included every major poet in my then-hometown of Santa Cruz — except me. I was shocked and hurt. Why was I left out? Eventually I realized it was because all the other poets listed had written a book. From that moment on I was obsessively driven to publish my own tome. A year later, after much hard work, it came to pass. I would love to see you experience a similar wake-up call in 2011, Pisces: a friendly jolt that motivates you to rise to the next level.

homework What would the people who love you best say is the most important thing for you to learn? Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com. © Copyright 2010 Rob Brezsny

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 27

consciousparty

fun fundraisers

What: A Boxing Day roller-skating party and fundraiser for Haiti Where: Tarwheels Skateway, 2134 Old U.S. Highway 70, Swannanoa When: Sunday, Dec. 26, from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. ($12 minimum donation per person; free for children under 12 accompanied by a guardian.

Info: http://avl.mx/18).

Why: Attend a roller skating party at Tarwheels Skateway and glide and giggle away for an extremely worthy cause. The $12 minimum donation, which includes the cost of renting skates, will all benefit Partners In Health, a Boston-based nonprofit devoted to â&#x20AC;&#x153;research, advocacy and publications related to health, worldwide,â&#x20AC;? as stated on pih.org. In Haiti, the organization uses a â&#x20AC;&#x153;community-based model [that] has proven successful in delivering effective care both for common conditions like diarrhea, pneumonia and childbirth that often prove fatal for Haitiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poor and malnourished, and for complex diseases like HIV and tuberculosis.â&#x20AC;?

Event organizer Mindy Coleman adds that Boxing Day is also known as the Day of Goodwill and is celebrated by giving money to those in need. Coleman writes, â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is still so much need in Haiti, especially after the earthquake this past year and the cholera epidemic theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re faced with. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m hosting a roller-skating party at our local skating rink to bring people from the community together and to strengthen goodwill and support good causes.â&#x20AC;?

benefitscalendar Calendar for December 22 - 30, 2010 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boxing Dayâ&#x20AC;? Fundraiser for Haiti â&#x20AC;˘ SU (12/26), 5:30-7:30pm - Roller skating party at Tarwheels Skateway, Swannanoa. $12 min. donation per person, includes skate rental. Kids (accompanied by guardian) under 12 skate for free. All proceeds go to Partners In Health for Haiti. Check out the Facebook page. Info: ashevilleboxingdayfundraiser@gmail.com.

ECO Events The Environmental and Conservation Organization is dedicated to preserving the natural heritage of Henderson County and the mountain region as an effective voice of the environment. Located at 121 Third Ave. W. Hendersonville. Info: 692-0385 or www.eco-wnc. org.

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â&#x20AC;˘ Through SA (2/5) - Heritage apple, peach and chestnut trees will be available for order. Maintain biodiversity while raising money for ECO. $25/tree. Trees must be picked up at the Hendersonville Visitorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Center parking lot on Feb. 5.

Performance of A Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas in Wales â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/29), 7pm - A Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. A timeless depiction of Christmas Day starring Dean Zuch, with music by Lea Kibler and Valerie Von Pechy Whitcup. Benefit for MANNA FoodBank. $10. Reception follows. Info: 252-8729.

RiverLink Benefit All proceeds benefit RiverLink. Info: 252-8474 or www. riverlink.org.

â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Save the French Broad Riverâ&#x20AC;? raffle tickets will be sold. Sponsored by Asheville Adventure Guide. Win outdoor gear and prizes while helping the local nonprofit achieve its mission to revitalize the French Broad River and watershed as a place to live, work and play. $5.To purchase tickets, stop by the RiverLink offices at 170 Lyman St.

MORE BENEFITS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 30.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

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The Painting Experience (pd.) Experience the power of process painting with Stewart Cubley as described in the groundbreaking book Life, Paint & Passion: Reclaiming the Magic of Spontaneous Expression. â&#x20AC;˘ January 21-23 in Atlanta and February 18-20 in Chapel Hill. (888) 639-8569. www.processarts.com Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org. â&#x20AC;˘ MO (12/27) through TH (12/30), 1-4pm - Holiday Arts Extravaganza Camp: Hands on crafting, all day long. $18 a day for members/$20 nonmembers.

Mountain Made Located in the Grove Arcade in downtown Asheville. Features the works of regional artisans, writers and musicians. Info: 350-0307 or mtnmade807@ aol.com. â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS, 10am-6pm & SUNDAYS, Noon-5pm - Glassblowing demonstrations.

New Meetup of The Artists Way â&#x20AC;˘ Julia Cameronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s popular 12-step program to help artists and artist-want-to-bes get unblocked will start in mid January. If interested in being a part of this support group, call (865) 964-5616.

The Fine Arts League of the Carolinas Located at 362 Depot St. in the River Arts District. Info: 2525050 or www.fineartsleague. org. â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Open figure drawing sessions. Four 5-minute poses and four 20-minute poses. $5.

Spoken & Written Word Buncombe County Public Libraries n LE = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) â&#x20AC;˘ TU (12/28), 6:30pm - Library Knitters meet. LE. Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers. Info: 2548111 or www.twwoa.org. â&#x20AC;˘ Through TH (12/30) - 22nd annual Memoirs Competition.

Festivals & Gatherings Bounty of Bethlehem Dinner â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/25), 1-5pm Christmas community dinner at Immaculata Catholic School in

Hendersonville. Plus, entertainment, gifts and a visit from Santa. Everyone is welcome.

Free. Info: 693-5115.

Holiday Events at the Grove Arcade Info: www.grovearcade.com. â&#x20AC;˘ Through SU (1/2) - Entries from the annual National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display. â&#x20AC;˘ FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS, 2-6pm & SUNDAYS, 2-5pm - Holiday piano tunes will be performed.

Lighting of the Green at A-B Tech â&#x20AC;˘ Through WE (12/22), 6-9pm - Historic homes on A-B Techâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Asheville campus, 340 Victoria Road, will be decorated with conventional lighting as well as energy-efficient lighting. All are welcome to drive through. Info: http://abtech.edu.

Merrimon Corridor Churches Holiday Events â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/22) - St. Eugeneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Catholic, St. Maryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Episcopal, St. Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s United Methodist and St. Markâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lutheran congregations are celebrating the holidays together. 6pm - Soup and supper meal â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 7pm - Holden Evening Prayer. At St. Markâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Lutheran. Donations will go to ABCCM. Operation Toasty Toes Chapter 7 Makes yarn comfort items that are sent to troops deployed overseas. Info: 696-9777 or www.operationtoastytoes.org. â&#x20AC;˘ Through MO (1/3) - View the second annual Christmas Tree dedicated to our armed forces, featuring silver stars with photos of service members who have received packages of yarn comfort items. On display in the rear lobby of the Hendersonville Public Library.

Music Haywood Community Band Concerts are presented at the Maggie Valley Pavilion, adjacent to the Maggie ValleyTown Hall, and are free to attend. Bring a picnic dinner. Info: 452-5553 or 452-7530 or www.haywoodcommunityband.org. â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS, 7pm Rehearsals at Grace Episcopal Church, 394 N. Haywood St., Waynesville. All interested concert band musicians are welcome to attend.

Land of the Sky Chorus For men age 12 and older. Info: www.ashevillebarbershop.com or 768-9303. â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Open Rehearsals at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Pl. Song Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) The chorus is always looking for women 18+ who want to learn how to sing barbershop harmony. Please visit a

rehearsal. Info: 1-866-8249547 or www.songosky.org.

• MONDAYS, 6:45pm Rehearsal at Reed Memorial Baptist Church on Fairview Road (enter parking lot on Cedar St.). Guests welcome.

Theater Adult and Youth (15+) Core Technique Acting Programs (pd.) The Stella Adler Studio of Acting, WNC’s only professional acting studio and an extension of Stella Adler NYC, is now accepting interviews for its Spring Adult and Youth (15+) Core Technique Acting Programs. To schedule an interview call ACT (828) 2541320. www.stellaadler-asheville.com Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville.

Info: 693-0731 or www.flatrockplayhouse.org.

• Through TH (12/23) - Live from WVL Radio Theatre: It’s A Wonderful Life will be performed at the Historic Henderson County Courthouse.

Proceeds benefit the Boys and Girls Club of Henderson County. $34.

• Through TH (12/23) - A Christmas Carol, adapted by Christopher Schario and based on the story by Charles Dickens. Wed.-Sat., 8pm; Wed., Thurs., Sat. & Sun., 2pm. $40.

Performance of A Child’s Christmas in Wales • WE (12/29), 7pm - A Child’s Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. A timeless depiction of Christmas Day starring Dean Zuch, with music

by Lea Kibler and Valerie Von Pechy Whitcup. Benefit for MANNA FoodBank. $10.

Reception follows. Info: 2528729.

YT Revolution Performance • WE (12/22), 2pm - YT Revolution, the YouTheatre of Flat Rock Playhouse’s new show choir, will perform at the Kanuga Conference Center in Hendersonville. Info: lauren@ flatrockplayhouse.org or 6933517.

Dance 7pm Wednesdays* • InterPlay Asheville (pd.) Play with us, and tap into body wisdom, with movement, reflection, voice, and 1 minute stories. It’s easy and Fun, plus, you can’t do it wrong! (Really!) $5-15. • At Friends Meeting House, 227 Edgewood Road, 28804, near UNCA, across from Ivy Street. (* Except the first Wednesday.) www.interplayasheville.org

Asheville International Folk Dancers • TUESDAYS, 7-9:30pm - We do a variety of dances from all over the world, but mainly line dances from Eastern Europe, particularly the Balkans. At Harvest House, 205 Kenilworth Road, Asheville. No partner, no cost. Info: 645-1543 or mmgoodman@frontier.com.

Asheville Movement Collective AMC hosts weekly dancewaves for personal and community transformation.

First wave is free. Info: www.

DanceAMC.org.

• FRIDAYS, 7-9pm - Meet at the Terpsicorps Studio of Dance, above The Wedge in the River Arts District. $5.

• SUNDAYS, 8:30-10:30 am & 10:30am-12:30pm - Meet at Studio 11, 11 Richland St. in West Asheville. $5.

Scottish Country Dance Offered by the Haywood Scottish Country Dancers at the Harvest House, 205 Kenilworth Road. Info: 622-0071.

• FRIDAYS, 7:30-9:30pm Scottish country dancing. Free.

Info: 622-0071.

West African Dance • TUESDAYS, 7:30-8:30PM - Classes will be held at the Terpsicorps Dance Studio, above the Wedge in the River Arts District. Open to dancers of all ages. $10.

Auditions & Call to Artists Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre Performances are held at BeBe Theatre, 20 Commerce St., Asheville. Info & tickets: 254-2621.

• Dancers are needed to participate in ACDT’s annual 48 Hour Dance Project, which begins on Feb. 25. Paired with choreographers of different stylistic backgrounds, participants work to master a dance in just two days. The project culminates with a public performance at the BeBe Theatre. Open to adults with dance experience only. Info: office@acdt.org.

Montford Park Players Seeks Directors • Through FR (12/31) Seeking directors for the 2011 outdoor season. Interested candidates should request a guidelines packet by e-mailing info@montfordparkplayers. org. Proposals are due by Dec. 31. Info: 254-5146 or www. montfordparkplayers.org.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

newsoftheweird Lead story • Among the patriarchal customs still in force in Saudi Arabia is a requirement that females obtain their father’s or guardian’s permission before marrying. In November, an Associated Press report focused on a 42-year-old female surgeon (licensed to practice in the U.K. and Canada as well as Saudi Arabia) who took her father to court recently. One activist, estimating that nearly 800,000 Saudi women are in the same position, said they “can’t even buy a phone without the guardian’s permission.” At press time, the judge hadn’t issued a decision.

The entrepreneurial spirit

• Alabama is the only state that still bans the sale of sex toys; nonetheless, the Pleasures boutique in Huntsville recently expanded, moving into a former bank building to take advantage of three drive-thru windows to sell dildos.

(Since state law prohibits the sale unless used for “bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law-enforcement purposes,” customers must provide a brief written description of their “legitimate” condition in order to make the purchase.)

• Wei Xinpeng, 55, a boatman in a village near industrial Lanzhou, China, collects bodies from the Yellow River (murder victims, suicides and the accidentally drowned), and sells them back to grieving relatives. Distraught visitors pay a small fee to check his inventory and, if they identify a loved one, the equivalent of up to $500 to take the corpse home. “I bring dignity to the dead,” said Wei, whose own son drowned in the river (his body was never recovered).

• Nov. 3 was National Sandwich Day, and several U.S. eateries capitalized by mixing up bar drinks in honor of such favorites as the cheeseburger, the BLT (using bacon-infused rum), and the PB&J (peanut syrup, strawberry jam, banana and rum). The mixologist at Toronto’s Tipicular Fixin’s makes his cheeseburger cocktail with beef-stock reduction, Roma tomatoes and iceberg lettuce water, garnished with a cheddar crisp and a kosher dill.

55 Taps

Monday - Friday

• Medical Marvels: (1) Six-year-old Alexis McCarter of Pelzer, S.C., had surgery in December to remove the safety pin she’d stuck up her nose as a baby. Springing open after it was inside her, the pin lodged in her sinus cavity, causing headaches, nosebleeds and ear infections). (2) Sharon Wilson of Doncaster, England, finally got a viable answer after nearly 10 years of complicated misdiagnoses. She’d complained of many, many days when she vomited more than 100 times, at “almost exactly” 10-minute intervals. And while the previous diagnosis was a tumor in her pituitary gland, another specialist finally nailed it: “Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome.”

• Yale University researcher Patricia Brennan told a conference in July that a duck’s penis may vary in length from year to year — depending on the competition. After each mating season, their penises waste away, and Brennan found that they regrow longer if there are other males around. (Female ducks are known to have corkscrew-shaped vaginas, and thus, a centimeter or two can make a big difference in successful mating.)

• What’s weird is that it’s legal: The pharmaceutical company Genentech makes both Lucentis (a $2,000 injection for relieving age-related macular degeneration) and Avastin (an anti-cancer drug that many retina specialists prescribe for age-related macular degeneration, because it’s equally effective yet costs about $50). Using Avastin instead of Lucentis saves Medicare hundreds of millions of dollars a year, The New York Times reported in November, though every dollar saved is obviously lost income for Genentech.

In October, the company launched a lucrative rebate program for physicians that’s apparently legal under Medicare guidelines. But as one Ohio specialist put it, “There’s no way to look at that without calling it bribery.”

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net.

Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

• (1) Cell phones and GPS devices have led national-park visitors to do “stupid” things, confident they’ll be saved from themselves, a Grand Teton National Park spokesperson told The New York Times in August. One lost hiker called rangers to ask for hot chocolate; others wanted a personal escort back to their campsite. In August, a party of Illinois hikers called for (and received) three separate rescues in 24 hours. (2) The Milwaukee teachers’ union filed an equal-rights lawsuit in August challenging health-insurance cutbacks by the budget-challenged Milwaukee Public Schools. The union was denouncing the elimination of Viagra as discrimination against men.

The weirdo-American community

• In November, at a burglary scene near Seneca, S.C., deputies found 31-year-old Noah Smith, naked and apparently drugged on hallucinogenic mushrooms, with a stringlike object protruding from his buttocks. According to the deputies’ report (which made its way to the Internet), X-rays revealed that the object in Smith’s rectum was a “mouse.” However, several days later, the sheriff’s office clarified that the object was a “computer mouse.” Smith told emergency-room personnel that he had no memory of the incident.

Armed and clumsy (all new)

• More people who accidentally shot themselves: Daniel McDaniels, 31, Sarasota, Fla., “trying to ward off a skunk” (October). Sanford Rothman, 63, Boulder, Colo., while sleepwalking (October). Reserve police officer Kenneth Shannon, 68, Gary, Ind., in the hand while loading his gun (the bullet went on to hit his partner; October). Sheriff’s Deputy Miguel Rojas, Crestview, Fla., in the leg while getting firearms training (July). A 48-year-old woman, Clover, S.C., in the jaw while trying to kill a rat (September). A 25-year-old man, Juneau, Alaska, in the head after jokingly telling friends that there is “one way” to find out whether or not a gun is loaded (October 2009).

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edgymama Stuff I learned in 2010 Dear friends, family and Internet trolls, Every year I learn all kinds of interesting information from the e-mails you send me and from the amazing things you post on your Facebook pages and Twitter feeds. And now, I have a 12year-old who has her own e-mail address, and I really appreciate all the fascinating educational stuff you send to her.

The other day she asked, “Mom, what are a woman’s assets?” My answer? “Brains, perseverance, strength, fortitude and the ability to multitask.”

But the “real” answer, according to an email she received, is T&A. As in this highly believable snippet from an e-mail she received: “Staring a woman’s ‘assets’ is known amongst all men as causing good sensations, but a recent study claims that it actually improves your overall health.” The author of the study, Dr. Karen Weatherby, claims that “just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout! Sexual excitement gets the blood pumping and improves overall circulation.” She also states that, if done regularly, “ogling can add up to five years to a man’s life!”

It’s so well-written that it must be true. It was

fun to explain to my daughter what the e-mail means by “good sensations.”

Also, in 2010, so many of your e-mails contained photographs and links to videos. For which I thank you. Isn’t it exciting to click on a link and, poof, up pops a video? And before you can hit the “stop” button, pornographic images are indelibly imprinted into your brain. Speaking of good sensations.

Other stuff I learned this year that I’m really happy about includes the fact that drinking alcoholic beverages has the same benefits as doing yoga. It’s so great that I can sit around quaffing beer instead of doing sun salutations and be just as flexible, healthy and fit. Plus, the old saw that alcohol hurts your liver? A myth. A doctor no one’s ever heard of says so.

Another doctor, from Germany, learned from an in-depth study that people who read on their computers with their hands on the mouse or touchpad have low IQs. You can put your hand back on the mouse — I’m kidding.

However, I’m not kidding about the fact that you should sanitize the tops of all your canned food with bleach before opening them or risk eating rat poop. Also, I know it’s the holiday season, but whatever you do, don’t open your door to

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parenting from the edge by Anne Fitten Glenn

the UPS or FedX delivery people. They’re all Al Qaeda agents in disguise. In fact, Al Qaeda insurgents are all over Asheville, y’all. I know I saw some suspicious-looking folks down at Izzy’s the other day.

And whatever you do, don’t open those packages the people disguised as UPS and FedX employees leave on your front porch. Bombs, I tell you! Call me and I’ll come pick them up for you and dispose of them properly. I learned how to online.

Finally, do not let your kids eat Pop Rocks, Mentos, Twinkies or drink root beer. All of these will blow up in their tummies. Trust me, no one wants a scene reminiscent of Alien in the house.

Also, if you don’t forward this column to at

least 400 people in the next 30 seconds, you will be kicked by a rabid donkey and lose all your money in the stock market.

OK, maybe you have nothing left to lose.

Forward it anyway or your feng shui will suck for all of 2011.

Thank you, though, for all your help in 2010.

Keep those informative e-mails coming. I might not survive 2011 without all this life-saving, relevant knowledge.

Love, Edgy Mama X Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www. edgymama.com.

parentingcalendar Calendar for December 22 - 30, 2010

MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE

Mommy & Me Group • 4th MONDAYS, 10am - Free group for moms and babies. Meet new friends and share your experiences.

Info: 216-7244.

Professional Parenting Open House • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS - Professional Parenting Open House. Adoption Plus is now recruiting families. To learn more, join us at 38 Garfield St., Suite B, Asheville. Info: 236-2877.

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 30.

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WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

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Is it possible to compare a delicious small-batch, craft-distilled liquor to fried chicken? At some point during my sampling of Cardinal, North Carolinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only small-batch gin, I decide I want to give it a shot. Gin, after all, has always given me a little extra taste for the absurd.

Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the exact line of (slightly liquor-fueled) reasoning: Cardinal American Dry Gin, distilled by Southern Artisan Spirits in Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mountain, N.C., owes its complex flavor to 11 total herbs and spices, just like the Colonel claims. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s juniper berry, coriander, spearmint, clove, orris root, angelica root, apricot kernels, grains of paradise and orange peel to start, and it all gives Cardinal a bright botanical flavor.

Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the matter of the two secret ingredients that distiller Alex Mauney simply wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t identify. That, of course, is exactly what makes them secret, but I simply canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t let it go. I ask nicely, then I try to trick him into slipping up (and fail). My brainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not really geared toward trickery to begin with, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s becoming slightly muddled by the delicious herbal gin that keeps turning up in various mixes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and once, completely unadulterated â&#x20AC;&#x201D; in front of me. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not happening, Mauney assures firmly. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My brother would kill me,â&#x20AC;? he says, referring to his twin, Charlie, with whom he owns the distillery.

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seated at the bar inside Posana CafĂŠ, and owner Peter Pollay decides to stop tinkering with hand-squeezed juice and house-made agave-based syrups and get down to the business of simplicity. Though heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s working on a special menu dedicated specifically to Cardinal Gin (a product he just recently started carrying), he decides to pour a simple gin and tonic. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a personal favorite, and a drink for which Mauney says his gin is specifically engineered.

And the result of that engineering comes through in the

Not for the birds: The two-headed cardinal on the ginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s label is meant to represent Alex and Charlie Mauney, the twin brothers who own and run Southern Artisan Spirits Distillery.

Photos by Jonathan Welch

flavor. With a squeeze of lime, the simple cocktail displays the ginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s qualities well, showcasing a unique flavor that simply isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t present in any other gin Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve sampled â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a rather big fan of the oft-juniper-heavy liquor. Cardinal, however, is light on the piney berry.

Mauney says that that flavor is by design. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a â&#x20AC;&#x153;Westernstyleâ&#x20AC;? gin, he explains, meaning more floral than what he refers to as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the flavor of Pine Sol.â&#x20AC;? Well, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s good â&#x20AC;&#x201D; no one in their right mind wants to sip cleaning products. Mauney points to a bottle of Hendrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gin behind the bar, which he says is also a Western-style gin. Cardinal is actually comparable in price â&#x20AC;&#x201D; if not cheaper â&#x20AC;&#x201D; than Hendrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, he says.

Also, Cardinalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flavor is more complex and layered than that of Hendrickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, which tends to linger a bit heavily on cucumber notes. With Cardinal, nothing dominates the palate: The clove comes through a touch; the spearmint is barely there; and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

something vaguely â&#x20AC;&#x153;green,â&#x20AC;? yet citrusy, about it.

In short, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dangerously delicious.

Isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there a sort of addictive quality to fried chicken? With that, I decide to drop the not-soclever metaphor and focus solely on the gin and its very gin-like qualities. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no comparing Cardinal to anything mass-produced. It is to Sapphire what Rockyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chicken Shack was to KFC. That is, when Mauney says his gin is a small-batch product, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not kidding; Southern Artisan Spirits only turns out about 180 bottles of carefully monitored liquor a batch.

On the other side of the bar, Cardinal finds its way into a martini glass with a little mint and some lime juice for a twist on a classic gimlet.

Its flavor is perhaps a little summery, conflicting with the frigid temperatures outside. Regardless, it canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t compete with that gin and tonic.

Pollay and his bar staff can tell, and they start over on a new drink. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never been so happy to be a guinea pig. Pollay seems to be enjoying himself as well. He pushes another potion across the bar. This one has a little pouch of lavender and herbs sunk into it. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also slowly changing color. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I get excited about local things and cool, new, unique things,â&#x20AC;? Pollay says. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s evident in the menu at Posana. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not often that a restaurant has a separate list for all-organic cocktails, after all.

And although Cardinal Gin isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t certified

Raising the bar: Posana CafĂŠ owner Peter Pollay (left) loves that he can now put a face to his liquor. Distiller Alex Mauney (right) hopes that more local bar and restaurant owners feel the same.

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Mauney says he started making bread with his brother before venturing into the distillery project. “There is, of course, a correlation between yeast and alcohol,” he says.

Of course, bread-making may have been an easier venture to dive into, though maybe not as lucrative. With liquor distilling in North Carolina, where everything is state regulated, there’s an amazing amount of paperwork to do, laws to obey, officials to deal with. Everything must be permitted and scrutinized — from the licensing of the distillery, to the label on the bottle. Mauney says he is well-prepared for that. He partially credits his law-school education for helping him get his distillery open in record time.

Cardinal Gin has only been on the market for two months, says Mauney. Already two Asheville restaurants serve his product — Posana is one, the Flying Frog the other. It’s also available in most ABC stores in Asheville, Black Mountain and Woodfin. Should Cardinal be successful, Mauney says, Southern Artisan may delve into bourbon and other spirits.

“Hopefully the gin will pave the way for that,” he says. “I hope the local bars and restaurants get behind and support craft distilling in North Carolina. It’s kind of a new thing.”

For more information about Cardinal Dry Gin, visit southernartisanspirits.com. For more info on Posana, visit posanacafe.com. X Mackensy Lunsford can be reached at food@ mountainx.com.

foodcalendar Calendar for December 22 - 30, 2010

LATE NIGHT KITCHEN

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organic, it belongs on that list. It’s actually made with mostly organic ingredients but some, because of the way they are harvested, cannot be certified. The wild-gathered grains of paradise, for example, are culled from the forests of Africa.

As Southern Artisan Spirits is located about 100 miles away from central Asheville, Pollay says that stocking his bar with Cardinal Gin is a no-brainer. “It’s technically a local product, and (Southern Artisan is) unique as the only distillery in North Carolina.” Pollay nods across the bar toward Mauney, who’s swirling his gin and tonic in his glass. Mauney’s father, the night’s designated driver, is seated next to him, sipping Posana’s house-made ginger ale. “And now, just like the local farmers we use, we can put a face to it and really see their enthusiasm and love for the product that they make and the time and effort that they put into it. It’s also obviously handcrafted.”

That it is. Mauney describes how the botanicals are put in a muslin bag and macerated in alcohol for 45 hours. Once the botanicals are pulled out of the alcohol, Mauney says, “It looks almost like tea. It’s brown, but when we re-distill it, it comes back clear.” There’s much more to it, and Mauney launches into a description of the process that’s both technical and bordering on the scientific — we are, after all, talking about chemical changes here. It reminds me much of talking to a baker.

The similarity, it turns out, is no coincidence.

Farm To Table Saturday Brunch - Grove Park Inn (pd.) Just $19.99. Join us 11:30am-2:30pm. Call 1-800438-5800 for reservations. www.groveparkinn.com MANNA FoodBank MANNA helps alleviate hunger in WNC by processing donated food for distribution throughout WNC. Located at 627 Swannanoa River Road. Info: 299-3663 or mannafoodbank.org.

• Through FR (12/24), 10am-9pm - MANNA FoodBank seeks volunteers to help support the Ingles Giving Tree during their holiday fundraiser. Volunteers will greet peo-

ple and man the donation table at the Asheville Mall. Info: 299-3663, ext. 245 or amccarver@feedingamerica.org.

MORE FOOD EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Food Calendar online at www.mountainx. com/events for info on events happening after December 30.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

If you would like to submit a food-related event for the Food Calendar, please use the online submission form found at: http://www.mountainx.com/events/submission. In order to qualify for a free listing, your event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, or cost more than $40, you’ll need to submit a paid listing: 251-1333.

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Beyond the lunch counter: Lion’s Den owner Terry Ayoub, flanked by two of his employees, shows off some of the wares available at the new sandwich shop in the Grove Arcade.

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The Lion’s Den sandwich shop recently opened inside the Grove Arcade, offering affordable light-lunch eats right next to the Fresh Quarter produce market (and in the space formerly occupied by Red Bike Delivery).

The Lion’s Den offers sandwiches (all priced at $5.99) on a selection of breads. I had the chance to sample the turkey, salami and provolone with an olive-artichoke spread. The meat came thinly sliced, stacked on a soft, whole-wheat hoagie roll with lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickles and pepperoncinis, offering a quality deal.

Other sandwiches include a ham and swiss with pesto mayo, roast beef with jack cheese and horseradish mayo, and a hummus sandwich with that same olive spread, which they call “muffaleta,” although that’s not exactly accurate.

Regardless, everything is good and the staff is friendly. The salad bar is a cheap option for downtown lunchers at $4.99 a pound. Besides the typical leaves and vegetables, the bar offers a decent potato salad, a grated carrot salad and a corn salad.

Soup is a hot deal, too, at $2.50 a cup. Soups are made fresh daily. The Lion’s Den offers a vegetarian as well a as meat-based selection on the menu. Combos — soup/salad, soup/sandwich, sandwich/salad — are only $4.99.

(The Fresh Quarter, by the way, is a great place for affordable light fare as well — the little market offers mostly produce, but also bags of spring mix, Greek yogurt, chips and juices.)

For more information, call 505-2821.

Winter warmer savings and specials

From the (cold) mountains to the sea: Maybe a taste of the coast could take your mind off of what could (if early weather is any indication) be a crazy-cold winter season. The Lobster Trap’s winter weekday specials run until spring, offering some pretty good seafood deals. On Mondays, with the purchase of an entree, diners get a half-priced appetizer or a free dessert. On Tuesdays, Gulf oysters by the dozen are 50 cents each, and all other types of oysters are 25 percent off (Don’t forget that winter’s the time for the best oysters). On Wednesdays, steamed gulf shrimp with butter and cocktail sauce is $9.99 a pound.

On Thursdays, two lobster dinners — that’s two lobsters, four sides — add up to $50, an almost 25 percent savings against the menu price. For more information about the Lobster Trap, visit thelobstertrap.biz A nip of the (red) sauce: Cold weather and Italian food just seem to go hand in hand. That, and booze. Vinnie’s Neighborhood Italian has you covered on both fronts. Vinnie’s offers half-price bottles of wine on Mondays, $2 local-brew pints on Tuesdays and $5 martinis on Fridays. On Fridays and Saturdays, the restaurant offers lamb shanks, a dish not offered during the week. On Sundays, kids under 10 eat for free. For more information about Vinnie’s, visit vinniesitalian.com.

Ritrovo Pizzeria in West Asheville also offers $2 pint nights on Tuesdays. Ritrovo is not exactly your red-sauce Italian restaurant, offering primarily wood-fired Neapolitan-style pies and salads, as well as gelatos. They’ve expanded the menu to include a number of gratins and soups.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 37

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Turning Japanese: Tamarind Thai Cuisine in Arden will be adding a sushi bar to its offerings starting Jan. 1. Tamarind is located at 330 Rockwood Road. For more information, call 654-0988.

Ritrovo also offers wine and beer flight specials on Wednesdays (which we’ve previously mentioned, but it’s worth repeating). Visit ritrovopizzeria.com for more information.

Coming in from the cold: Monday through Wednesday nights are all about mussels at Bouchon — all-you-can-eat for $14. The first order includes frites. Forget what you learned in kindergarten — no sharing, people, that’s $14 per person.

Speaking of Bouchon, Xpress recently mentioned that Bouchon Street Food had changed its location for the winter. The eatery has moved from the alley to a small, quiet dining room off Bouchon’s courtyard.

I had a chance to attend a wine dinner on a cold, early December evening, and was impressed by the coziness, as well as the value the casual

eatery offers. As you may already know, Bouchon Street Food serves crepes, gourmet hot dogs and baguettes. They also offer great — and affordable — paté plates with artisan cheeses, desserts (including Nutella cheesecake) and a selection of sandwiches like croque monsieur and pastrami and apple with Lusty Monk. And through January 1, Bouchon Street Food is offering a free sweet crepe between 3 and 6 p.m. with the purchase of a savory crepe, sandwich or paté and cheese plate.

To learn more about Bouchon and Bouchon Street Food, visit ashevillebouchon.com.

Have some winter specials to report? Send them to food@mountainx.com with “winter special” in the subject line. X Send your food news to Mackensy Lunsford at food@ mountainx.com.

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eatininseason Are we living in a meat mecca?

We just might be, thanks to our farmers

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by Maggie Cramer You could call Southern Appalachia a meatlover’s mecca. That’s because area farmers raise almost everything, from beef to rabbit to turkey, year-round.

It’s also because area chefs are buying local and including innovative meat dishes on their menus. While many of us may prefer to stay in the “safety net” of turkey, chicken or beef, our chefs give all local meats some plate time.

Dave Mullins, executive chef at Simma Down Caribbean Café in Asheville, is a big fan of goat meat. In fact, he prefers it to beef (which you can also find on his menu). “Goat has a taste you cannot compare with anything,” he says. “It’s an awesome meat.”

Mullins likes to serve his curried. “That’s the real authentic Jamaican way to fix goat,” he says.

For the home chef new to cooking goat meat, he recommends sautéing it like a quick stir-fry with oil and curry powder, then adding water and simmering until it’s tender. “It is a tough meat,” he notes, adding that transferring it to a pressure cooker for around 30 to 40 minutes can be helpful to ensure the meat reaches the desired tenderness. Although, that’s not a traditional method. “If you’re in Jamaica cooking at home, not everyone has a pressure pot. We use a yellow papaya or yellow mango to help tenderize while cooking on the stove.”

If you do transfer your goat to a pressure cooker, return it back to the stove and simmer it with spices. Mullins suggests pimento seed (also called allspice), fresh thyme leaves, green onions and peppers to bring out the flavor. Serve your curry stew with rice, he says, for an authentic presentation.

Susan Casey, owner of the Purple Onion in Saluda, ventures off the expected path with rabbit. Like Mullins, she favors traditional preparations for the meat (see her recipe for braised rab-

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40 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

Hickory Nut Gap, top, in Fairview offers humanely raised beef, pork and chicken.

Their meats are available on the farm, at area groceries, from tailgate markets (in season) and on the menus of many local restaurants. For more information, visit hickorynutgapfarm.com. Below, Sheep grazing at East Fork Farm in Marshall. East Fork, which offers pasture-raised lamb and free-range poultry, uses no hormones, no animal by-products in their feed and no synthetic pesticides or fertilizers on their crops or pastures. To learn where you can find their meats, visit eastforkfarm.net. bit with mustard sauce). But, she’s also open to new approaches, which she discovered last year (The Year of the Rabbit, incidentally).

“I had only braised it up until then, but James Cole (the owner of Sassafras Ridge farm in Haywood County that supplied their rabbits last year) suggested smoking them,” Casey says.

“We included a smoked rabbit tostado on last year’s menu with an ancho chili sauce. Having the smoked rabbit on hand at the restaurant

eventually led to a barbecued rabbit with slaw on a bun.”

Casey has since had some difficulty sourcing local rabbit in the volume she needs, but hopes to return the meat to her menu soon. “Although I have used rabbit shipped in frozen in the past, it was not as flavorful or tender as the local, fresh rabbit,” she says. “I really enjoy the relationship that evolves with our producers,” she adds.

“Knowing how they feed and care for their ani-

recipe Curried Goat

From Simma Down Caribbean Café

Ingredients 3 lbs goat meat (cut up in bite-size pieces), 1 large onion (chopped), 2 cloves garlic (chopped), 1 Scotch bonnet pepper (chopped and seeded), 5 oz Jamaican curry powder, 1 oz cooking oil, 1 oz ground black pepper, 2 tbsp salt, 4 sprigs thyme, 1/2 oz vinegar, 6 pimento seeds (allspice)

Method Wash goat meat with vinegar and water. Rub in all the seasonings (use just 4 ounces of curry powder at this point) and let marinate in the refrigerator for one hour. Remove the meat from the refrigerator, leaving the seasoning/marinade for later.

In a saucepan, heat the oil on high until it shimmers. Add last ounce of curry powder to the hot oil. Stir the curry powder in oil until the color starts to change. Put the goat meat in the saucepan now. Stir the meat in the hot oil for two minutes, taking care not to burn it.

Add 1 ounce of water to the pot and keep stirring until the meat looks like the muscles are tightening up. Turn down the heat to medium and add 2 cups of water. Cover the pot and simmer for 20 minutes. Check on the meat in the pot, stir again, and add more water to cover the meat. Simmer for another 20 minutes, and then check to see if the meat is medium soft. If it is, add the seasoning you removed earlier. Let the stew simmer for another 15 minutes on a slightly lower heat (between medium and low). If you’d like, you can add potatoes to the pot the same time you add the seasoning. You can also add bread crumbs to thicken.

Braised Rabbit with Mustard Sauce From the Purple Onion (purpleonionsaluda.com)

mals as well as the issues that arise as they process their product and deliver it to us completes the circle.”

On the Purple Onion’s menu, you’ll find ribeyes and strip steaks from Apple Brandy Beef in North Wilkesboro, and lamb shoulder and shank from East Fork Farm in Marshall. Casey hopes to source local goat meat in the near future.

It’s not just the Purple Onion and Simma Down that are in the meat mood this month.

Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project has chosen farm-raised meat for the focus of their Get Local campaign in December. Get Local is a year-round initiative that brings together farmers, chefs and community members around the region to celebrate a single seasonal ingredient.

To find a list of participating restaurants, visit asapconnections.org. There, you’ll also find information about Get Local in area schools, where the focus is all about apples this winter. Visit growing-minds.org for more information.

Pick up local meat at your neighborhood grocery or the farm itself, now that tailgate markets are closed for the winter. To find your favorite meat locally, head over to ASAP’s online Local Food Guide, buyappalachian.org, and search by product. If buyng directly from the farm, be sure to ask the farmers for their favorite recipes — they’ve likely tried all types of techniques. Or, look for recipe links on their websites; many, like East Fork Farm and Carolina Bison, have plenty to share.

Simma Down is located at 42 S. Market Street, 828252-8169. Find the Purple Onion at 16 E. Main Street in Saluda, 828-749-1179. X

Biltmore Park Town Square 30 Town Square Boulevard #140 Asheville, NC 28803 828-654-0046 • brizzpizza.com Locally Owned & Operated by Walker Wells Ventures, LLC

Ingredients 2 approx. 3-pound rabbits, each cut into serving pieces, 1 1/2 tsp salt, 1 tsp black pepper, 3 to 4 tbsp vegetable oil, 2 cups chicken stock, 2 medium onions, finely chopped, 3 large garlic cloves, finely chopped, 1 tsp chopped fresh thyme, 6 tbsp cold unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon pieces, 2 1/4 cups dry white wine, 1/3–1/2 cup Dijon mustard

Method Rinse rabbit pieces and pat dry. Mix together salt and pepper in a small bowl for seasoning rabbit. Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Heat a dry heavy skillet over moderately high heat until hot. Season the rabbit pieces with salt and pepper and brown a few at a time in vegetable oil, adding more oil as necessary. Transfer browned rabbit to a flameproof roasting pan just large enough to hold all in one layer. Reserve skillet. Add stock to roasting pan, then cover pan tightly with foil and braise rabbit in oven 15 minutes.

While rabbit is braising, pour off any fat from skillet, then add onions, garlic, thyme and 3 tablespoons butter and cook over moderately low heat, stirring and scraping up any brown bits, until onions are softened, about 5 minutes.

Add wine and boil until liquid is reduced by half, about 10 minutes.

Pour mixture over rabbit and continue to braise, covered tightly, until rabbit is tender when pierced with a fork, 45 minutes to 1 hour more. Transfer rabbit to an ovenproof serving dish and keep warm, covered loosely with foil, in turned-off oven.

Straddle roasting pan over 2 burners and boil braising liquid until reduced to about 3 cups, about 10 minutes. Transfer 1/2 cup reduced liquid to a bowl and whisk in mustard. Add mustard mixture to reduced liquid in pan, whisking to incorporate. Add remaining 3 tablespoons butter to sauce and swirl pan until incorporated. Season sauce with salt and pepper and pour over rabbit.

Rabbit can be made one day ahead. Cool completely while uncovered, then cover and refrigerate. Cover and reheat in a preheated 350 degree oven for 20 to 30 minutes.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 41

arts&entertainment Merry and bright ideas

A what-to-do-over-the-holidays roundup

by Alli Marshall Maybe the kids are home from college. Maybe you have out-of-town visitors. Maybe the whole family is camping out at your place for the holidays. Maybe you find yourself with too much time on your hands and not enough Netflix envelopes in your mailbox. Just because it’s holiday vacation doesn’t mean there’s tons to do with all that free time — clubs are closed, concerts are few and far between, and the next festival is months away.

Still, you don’t have to resort to stringing popcorn and left-over cranberries for entertainment. Xpress has tracked down some holiday fun (there’s something for everyone), so gather your group (or strike out on your own) and get busy: • Ghost Hunters of Asheville offers an interactive/spooky tour of downtown Asheville.

Groups leave from the lobby of the Haywood Park Hotel daily (except Christmas) at 7 p.m.

Reservations required: call 779-HUNT (4868). $17 adults/$9 kids age 8-14 (ask about discounts). ghosthuntersofasheville.com.

• Here’s something special (and secular) for Christmas Eve — a set by Brooklyn transplants Copper Kettle at Jack of the Wood. The music is described as a blend of “traditional bluegrass, country and gospel.” Pair that with Jack of the Wood’s cozy setting, good friends and family and a beer or two — perfect for setting the celebratory mood. 8:30 p.m. jackofthewood.com.

• Visit the Carl Sandburg Home in Flat Rock — The National Park historic site/house of the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and poet will be decorated in the style of Sandburg Christmases past with poinsettias and a Christmas tree through Thursday, Jan. 6. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily (except Christmas). $5 adults/$3 seniors/free for children age 15 and younger. nps.gov/carl • Go to camp! (Only without a tent and a pair of hiking boots.) Holiday Arts Extravaganza at Asheville Art Museum is an art camp for students in grades 1-4 — both a break from the holiday grind and a chance to get creative.

Monday, Dec. 27-Thursday, Dec. 30, 1-4 p.m. daily, $18 members/$20 non-members per day. ashevilleart.org.

• Get crafty: Leicester Library Knitters, “A casual knitting and needlework group for all skill levels,” meets Tuesday, Dec. 28 at 6:30 p.m. at the Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 2506480).

• ”Not-so-serious holiday cheer” is how LaZoom Tours sums up its annual holiday ride. The

city-wide bus tour features comedy skits, live music, Asheville facts, holiday snacks, tips and prizes. David Ostergaard of Bright Star Touring Theatre joins the mobile show; passengers age 21 and over can bring beer and wine on board. The all-ages rides run several times per day through Friday, Dec. 26. $12 children/$20 seniors and Asheville residents/$22 adults. Advance tickets (required) at 225-6932 or lazoomtours.com.

• Yes, there are plenty of art districts and galleries to peruse. And a couple are having openings and special exhibits over the holidays. Check out “Wintertide,” a rotating exhibition at the Haen Gallery through Jan. 31. Artists include Lynn Boggess, Emily Wilson, GC Myers, Wendy Whitson, Jane Filer, Phyllis Stapler and Marci Crawford Harnden. thehaengallery.com. Also, Woolworth Walk introduces “Revelations” with works by painter Abby Lee and sculptor Michelle Sumares on Saturday, Jan. 1. (There’s a reception on Friday, Jan. 7, 4-6 p.m.) woolworthwalk.com.

• The Drygoods Shop in West Asheville hosts Parent and Child Art Hour on Friday, Dec. 31, 11 a.m. to noon. Says the description, “Get in here and make something! This will not be a ‘taught’ class, rather a time with your child where you make art together.” The theme is monoprints.

Ages 3 and up. $5 for materials. thedrygoodsshop.blogspot.com • Make a leisurely Sunday or Tuesday or ... any day. Gather the family and/or friends (or, heck, have a little me-time) and wander around the Grove Park Inn. The historic hotel is decked out in holiday finery, including themed Christmas trees and the entries (hundreds of them!) from the National Gingerbread House Competition Display. Speaking of which, the Inn’s Magnolia Lounge is serving gingerbread martinis daily from noon to 5:30 p.m. through Saturday, Jan 1. groveparkinn.com.

Want to see more gingerbread creations? The Grove Arcade has a display through Sunday, Jan. 2. grovearcade.com.

• Christmas at Biltmore actually extends through Saturday, Jan. 1. According to the website, “Firelight and candlelight fill the house with a warm glow and accent delicate ornaments and priceless treasures, while the Front Lawn of Biltmore House sets the scene with a sparkling holiday illumination of evergreens bathed in thousands of twinkling lights.” Candlelight Christmas Evenings include self-guided tour of house and a next day visit of the gardens and winery (for $10 more, you can also get daytime admission to the house along with your grounds visit). 5:45-8:15 p.m. Tickets are $79 adults/$39.50 youth ages 10-16 through Wednesday, Dec. 29

42 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

Making the most of your holiday break: Explore literature or hiking trails at the Carl Sandburg Home, top. Learn a little, laugh a lot, on the LaZoom holiday bus toor. (closed Dec. 24 and 25); $69/$34.50 on Thursday, Dec. 30; $59/$24.50 on Friday and Saturday, Dec. 31 and Jan. 1. biltmore.com.

• Kick off the new year in the great outdoors — the Carolina Mountain Club holds a New Year’s Day Hike along a series of trails around Green River Gamelands. Carpool from Westgate Shopping Center to the Cracker Barrel in Hendersonville for an 8 a.m. breakfast. The 6.5-8 mile hike begins at 9:15 a.m. According to the group, “We’ll hike down to and along the Green River, with a late lunch at the big rocks on the Green River, and then hike up and out on the Pulliam Creek trail.”

carolinamtnclub.com/Hiking/Schedules/sundays-all-day-11-1st.asp.

• Poetrio returns to Malaprop’s on Sunday, Jan. 2, at 3 p.m. The event features Tracey Schmidt, Sean Hill and Laura Newburn. malaprops.com.

• The Ladies-only climbing night at ClimbMax (climbmaxnc.com) takes place Monday, Jan. 3.

Learn more about this group and its events at ladiesonlyclimbing.blogspot.com. X Have you thought of some fun holiday activities?

Share them at mountainx.com.

arts X music

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Local musicians wince through the Christmas jukebox We’ve been subjected to holiday music for more than a month, which is, for some, more than a month too long. We asked some of our favorite local musicians which holiday song they really hated. You know, that one song that every time it comes on the radio just made them want to jam icicles in their ears and drive head-on into the first Santa lawn ornament they see. And, man, did we ever get a response.

Scrooges, all of us.

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Seth Kauffman Floating Action

“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney. That song’s way too catchy in the bad way. Something about it stirs up anger in me, not Christmas spirit. Can’t figure out why.

Definitely makes me want to turn off the radio immediately and wreck on purpose.

NIKKI TALLEY “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney. BLECH!!!!!!!! Jingle bells and that weird-ass keyboard sound. ICK! It sounds like he just wrote a jingle (no pun intended) and kept repeating it over and over for three-anda-half painful minutes ... It’s just so sugary saccharin sweet that it gives my cavities cavities!! muah ha ha ha ha.

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“Wonderful Christmastime.” I associate it with working in the mall, where it would loop into the Xmas lineup every 20 minutes.

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matt evans

Stephanie morgan

Anything by Celine Dion. My sister and I have a Christmas tradition in which one of the first things I do when arriving at her house for the holidays is the take the Celine Dion Christmas record out of her CD changer and hide it somewhere in the house. I imagine that she finds the disc sometime around July each year because every December, it’s back in the stereo. I guess it’s the little things.

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” I remember working as seasonal help at an unnamed corporate record store and this song would play on the hour, every hour. By the time Christmas rolled around, I had put in many hours at a bummer job with this song as my soundtrack.

Now, every year I can’t help but think about that song and how miserable that job was.

I can’t stand “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” It reminds me of a brief time in my life when I lived in my dead step-grandma’s trailer and had a teacher who liked to use the term “white trash.” (Incidentally, Mee-Maw was not killed by a reindeer.)

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Chris lee

“Carol of the Bells,” because it sounds like an overly busy minor-key apocalypse. It would fit nicely on Metallica’s Black Album.

I really hate the Eurythmics version of “Winter Wonderland.” It’s sooo bad, the synthesizers plus her voice, it’s this haunting cacophony ... a Christmas nightmare.

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“Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Somewhere between the loungy arrangement and the embarrassing subject matter of a guy begging a girl to stay while funneling drinks down her throat until she’s too drunk (and it’s too cold) to leave is a good reason to ban this song from existence.

And the terrible call-and-response lyrics make you want to jump in and tell everyone to shut up and go home.“You’re cut off! Both of you!”

I hate all Xmas music and I’d rather chew tin-foil than listen to any of it. But if I have to choose one most-hated song it would probably be “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” because it’s the Larry the Cable Guy of Xmas Music. The last thing the most irritating form of music on the planet needed was a goofy, country-comedy twist.

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grammer school I really have an issue with the novelty classic “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

The elderly should be revered and respected, especially during the holidays. Sweet, old ladies have no other choice but to hear a sick tale of grandmothers getting slaughtered by the same animals that will bring presents to their grandchildren the next morning. I hate the idea that granny’s shopping for bad sweaters or having lunch at J&S Cafeteria are subjected to a cheesy jingle that portrays grandmothers in such a negative light. The holidays are a time for grandparents to be loved and appreciated, not trampled by a herd of blood-thirsty Arctic caribou.

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Anything by Jessica Simpson, really. Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to sing Christmas songs, and she’s one of ‘em.

“A Holly Jolly Christmas,” written by Johnny Marks (also the writer of “Rudolph the RedNosed Reindeer” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”) is my least-favorite song during this season of saccharine, banal and over-played music. This song, originally sung by the Quinto Sisters, was sung by some guy named Burl Ives in the Rudolph movie, and the song makes me a bit sick to my stomach, especially heard out of the context of Rudolph. Oddly, I’ve always sort of loved “Silver and Gold,” also sung by Burl Ives, through the character of the friendly, wise snowman in the Rudolph film.

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jason mencer now you see them

“Tennessee Christmas” by Amy Grant. That song has a way of being stuck in my head all year round.

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rbts win / kings of prussia “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gayla Peevey. Bad lyrics. Vocals make me cringe. The last thing you would ever wanna hear tired on a Christmas morning. Although on a positive note: I would love a hippopotamus for Christmas!

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“Last Christmas” by Taylor Swift. Do I need to say much? She’s an alien ...

I would have to say “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” When I was a kid my grandmother would sing it to me so off key that I would laugh so hard until I peed my pajamas. It became a regular thing. Now every time I hear it makes me have to pee so bad I have to run to the toilet. Sometimes I’m sad to say I don’t make it.

drew heller

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evolutionalhealing.com 44 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

I have an unusual story regarding Xmas songs.

I grew up less then a mile from Santa’s Village, an Xmas theme park which blasted Xmas music over their sound system ALL SUMMER LONG! So I go into a weird neurosis every time I hear even one song!

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James: “Jingle Bell Rock” is an entirely misleading song. Jingle bells simply do not rock. Never has the sound of jingle bells been added to something and the response been, “Man, now that rocks!”

In literal terms, jingle bells bounce or bob, they do not rock. And, let’s face it, the song actually “swings,” it does not “rock.”

Nick: There is nothing too sugary, literally or figuratively, for me to stomach (last night I ate ice cream sprinkles by themselves while watching Music & Lyrics). So I have an incredibly high tolerance for holiday music, and can’t say any single song annoys me noticeably. Bring it on!

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“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” With all due respect to the magical mammals of flight, the melody and words of this song stick in my mind like little thorny seed pods, blossoming and blooming into cycles of song I can’t easily get out of my head.

jordan luff

the campaign 1984 Britney Spears’ “My Only Wish (This Year)” has to be the most nauseating piece of garbage I’ve had to endure during the holidays. It’s about Britney pleading with Saint Nick to carry some, I presume, half-naked Abercrombie hunk down the chimney and drop him off under the tree for her to have her way with. It hurts my brain how dumb this is.

the enemy lovers

The Enemy Lovers have talked and unanimously agree “Santa Baby” by Madonna or Joan Javits is one of the worst Christmas songs ever. The song really has nothing to do with the spirit of Christmas. All we can picture when it comes on the radio is a hot half-dressed chick trying to turn Santa on, and that is just wrong. Isn’t Santa jolly enough? It’s the exact opposite of the giving, warm feeling of family and chestnuts roasting on an open fire that we grew up with.

jonathan scales fourchestra “Christmas Time is Here” from Charlie Brown.

The chords make me woozy. Something about it makes me feel kinda dizzy and sickly.

molly kummerle paper tiger

A lot of Christmas music actually really gets on my nerves, unless it’s tastefully presented. It’s all too chipper. Mostly, “Jingle Bells.” The melody line is horrible, the lyrics don’t make any sense, and it’s usually started out as a sing along in a key that doesn’t really work for anyone.

jason smith

night’s bright colors Neil Diamond’s classic butchering of “O Holy Night.” “O Holy Moly” might be more apt.

Normally I’m a big fan of Neil but when, in his version, the chorus kicks in with the usual (and usually appreciated) bombast, I have to change the station. Ironically, it takes away from the dramatic structure and chordal arrangement of the piece, reducing it to caricature. I can almost hear “We Comin’ to Bethlehem!”

shane perlowin ahleuchatistas

I hate “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” It is the typical sentiment of imperial paternalism to assume that indigenous peoples would be better off if they assimilated our superstitions and values. Nauseating. Musically, however, quite the catchy tune. So, cheers to that!!! X

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The coolest cities and towns across America have their own skate videos. L.A. has a bunch, New York, Raleigh, Richmond and, hooray, now Asheville has one, too! This thanks to the PUSH Skateshop & Gallery skate team, and to videographer Ramon Hess, who edited nearly three years worth of footage down to the 40 entertaining minutes of the (appropriately titled) film, PUSH. A small percentage of the clips were shot in Raleigh, but for the most part, all the action occurs in Asheville. This is not a movie geared towards tourists. For that reason, it’s probably one of the better representations of Asheville that I’ve seen. In PUSH, the city serves as a backdrop that offers ledges, parking lots, benches, railings, stairways and tunnels for 15 local skaters as they glide through the urban landscape.

The clatter of board and wheels hitting pavement accompanies a diverse soundtrack that includes original piano music by Andrew Fletcher and bands like The Rolling Stones, King Kahn and the Shrines and Neutral Milk Hotel.

The timeless quality and low-fi aspect of skateboarding is emphasized with sporadic Super 8 clips of Asheville’s rural surroundings. This is

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roneysays: Skateboarding has always been an insider’s game, and though exclusive in practice, the very essence of its form has always remained culturally relevant and attractive to the external.

Like jazz, skateboarding is an art in response to rule, rather than the commonly mistaken sport, whose laborious mastery of said rule is unable to communicate with and for itself. It’s a rabbit-hole language with one point of entry, indifferent to the outsider’s endorsement.

Chock full with every staple of the skateboard-film genre, PUSH contributes to the time-worn tradition with a considerable boast of Asheville spirit. We get the Blue Ridge, organic potatoes, and a 21st-century sense of developing metropolis — by way of its failure and excess. Within its inherent search and loyalty to use, we find skateboarding in abandoned construction sites, empty parking lots and has-been shopping centers — platforms the layman cares not to investigate. Skateboarding builds from what was worse. It recycles our cultural rear and dances it to wonder.

This is why we paint cabooses red.

Gasp with amazement: The footage will make you feel like you’re flying.

Photo courtesy push skateshop & Gallery

a testament that to be human is to have a good time and take risks along the way.

There are no interviews, commentaries or voice-overs to detract from the video montage — just raw skate footage, shot primarily with a fisheye lens, offering a glimpse of Asheville you may not have seen. When watching the movie, I frequently asked myself, “Where is that place?” only to realize later it was a familiar alley or street I’ve walked down hundreds of times. The footage will make you feel like you’re flying, and every now and then you’ll gasp in amazement at some of the tricks.

Be sure to swing by PUSH Skateboard Shop and Gallery on your next venture downtown and grab the DVD of PUSH, which includes fun extras like a slideshow of Mike Belleme’s black-and-white photography. PUSH is the only place in town at the moment where you can buy the DVD (or inquire online at pushtoyproject.com). Thanks to these gentlemen, Asheville is now on the map, at least in the skate world (and what else matters, right?).

While you’re at it, step into the back gallery of the skate shop to see the work of Athens artist, David Hale. His drawings and paintings echo his passion for tattooing and are inspired by the natural world. The work displays a highly personal folklore that involves intensely detailed animal characters, symbols and narratives. The dearth of color affirms the sophistication of the drawings.

“This work is about our longing for connection, to all things, and our beautiful ability to do just that, in every moment,” reads Hale’s artist statement.

Installed throughout the gallery are wooden birds that Hale built out of old skateboards. On each he has painted designs that resemble a hybrid of Aleutian art and Pennsylvania Dutch folk art. An array of large and small winged creatures perch on the wall that Hale has garlanded with drawings and spray paint. Even all the little red “sold” dots contribute to the installation’s overall gestalt, and it’s a good thing because there are a lot of them.

Birdsong by David Hale will be on display at PUSH Skate Shop and Gallery through Jan. 31. X

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 45

arts X film

Ken, take 10

Ken Hanke, still cranky after all these years

by Justin Souther

Nothing if not dedicated: Hanke has reviewed thousands of movies, writes two weekly online columns, co-hosts a weekly podcast and “Ken Hanke has something unique: the gift of being able to be amused curates the Asheville Film Society. by his own misfortunes, such as seeing a really bad film. He has the bigger right photo by jonathan welch picture. He can also decipher exactly a good viewing experience. Everyone should have a constant supply of Hanke’s columns. He’s the smartest writer I have seen more movies than fantasy and horror, you could give me someon films of anyone I’ve read. I keep his orange book under my pillow to give thing else.” me good dreams. He is my good friend and the most loyal person I’ve ever Hanke soon found himself with a much wider range of movies to write about. “At that time, word came down to me that the critic-in-residence was come to know.” — Ken Russell leaving, and would I be interested in the position? And I said, ‘Don’t be silly, It all began a little more than a decade ago, with a perfectly understandable of course I would.’ Then in December of [2000], I found myself in charge of desire. “I wanted to get out of Florida,” says Ken Hanke, who, 10 years ago the whole works.” this month, officially became the Xpress’ full-time film critic. But this wasn’t And how did he get the moniker? “Back when they wanted a new name a case of Hanke showing up in Asheville and taking the city’s moviegoing for the column, I suggested ‘An Elitist Bastard Goes to the Movies’ [now the culture by storm. “I had had a very flimsy offer from the Xpress to do some title of our weekly podcast],” Hanke says. “It was thought that might give freelance work, not realizing that was nothing like a proper job,” he explains. offense, at which point someone remembered that [local filmmaker] Paul “The first thing they offered me was this Brewgrass thing [a story on the Schattel had called me ‘Cranky Ken Hanke’ in a letter — defending me, I years-running festival]. I know very little about beer; I know less about blue- should note — and it became the choice. Mostly because it rhymes, I think. I grass — and wish to know less about bluegrass. But I was afraid if I said no, mean, no one would really think of my as cranky, would they?”

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic and embarrassing Hanke, the face they’d never offer me anything ever again.”

The article, along with a pretty good joke about jug-swigging, can still of Asheville’s movie scene hasn’t been the same since. With thousands of be found, buried deep within the online archives of the Xpress. We’ll never movies reviewed (including about 2,000 new releases, by his estimate) in the know what may or may not have happened if Hanke hadn’t said yes, because intervening years, two weekly online columns, a regular online podcast and curating the Asheville Film Society, as well as hosting retrospectives (with soon thereafter opportunities for writing about film came along.

“They knew [film] was my specialty and they knew I was associated with yours truly) twice a week at The Carolina Asheville, Asheville doesn’t have Scarlet Street magazine.” In fact, Hanke was associate editor of Scarlet Street, — and never has had — such a recognizable personality in the world of film which specialized in horror, mystery and film noir (the final issue published criticism, not to mention one as in tune with the idiosyncratic nature of this in 2006). “Because of that connection, whenever there was something of the city. And I’m not just talking about giant blockbusters, but film on a local horror-film nature that [Xpress] needed reviewed, they would contact me. I level, too. did The Exorcist 2000 reissue, I did Lost Souls, I did Red Planet. I finally said, It’s something that hasn’t been lost on Asheville’s other film institutions.

46 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

The first time I saw A Hard Day’s Night I was 9 years old. The theater I saw it in has now been divided into a Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall/ Young Republicans’ Club. Fortunately, time has been far kinder to the movie than to the more concrete pieces of my childhood. — Hanke reminiscing on A Hard Day’s Night [M]y work only appears in the classiest tomes, you understand. — Hanke discussing his inclusion in the exploitation volume The Sleaze Merchants The very existence of Larry the Cable Guy would seem like a pretty good argument against the concept of Intelligent Design. For that matter, I’d say it seriously calls into question whether the Piltdown skull really was a hoax. — Hanke meeting Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector What is this? Is it the world’s first R & B opera? Is singer R. Kelly the Fellini of music videos? I have no idea. — Hanke encountering R. Kelly’s opus, Trapped in the Closet You want spectacle? Go watch an old Cecil B. DeMille picture. You want intelligent spectacle? Check out David Lean. You want this? You can have it. — Hanke voicing his displeasure with Zach Snyder’s 300

When cavemen were in Egypt land Let my mammoths go.

Oppressed so hard they could not stand.

Let my mammoths go.

Go down, D’Leh, Way down in Egypt land, Tell ole Pharaoh, Let my mammoths go.

— Hanke waxing the pyramid-building mammoths of 10,000 B.C. in his “Worst Picks for 2008”

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It’s not unusual for me to see a film more than once when it first comes out, but Tommy is still the record holder. I was there again the next year when it was re-issued. I took out a signature loan in order to shell out $425 for a bootleg 16mm print of the film in 1977. I’ve owned every video version ever released, and I used to have a running argument with Ken Russell as to which of us had seen it more. After I broke triple digits, he conceded. — Hanke talking about his love of Ken Russell’s film, Tommy.

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Justin Souther can be reached at the.running.board@ gmail.com.

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Several years ago one of the people from the inner circle of filmmaker Edward D. Wood Jr. (he of Plan Nine from Outer Space fame) commented that the lack of money on Ed’s moviemaking forays had less to do with their peculiar “quality” than did Ed’s complete lack of talent and taste. He put it rather succinctly, in fact, saying that Ed could have had millions of dollars and he’d have “still made a piece of shit.” — Hanke discussing the moviemaking prowess of one Uwe Boll

As I was watching Tyler Perry’s latest movie, Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail, my co-critic Justin Souther came into the theater and sat with me for a while. A little way into the proceedings a character entered the film and Justin asked, “Is that Tyler Perry, too?” Without thinking, I said that it was: “That’s him in his ‘Brian the lawyer’ incarnation.” At that moment, I realized that like some soap-opera fan, I actually know all of Perry’s recurring characters and their relationships to each other. And I was deeply frightened by that. The world of Tyler Perry has — after sitting through seven Perry movies — percolated into my brain. It’s clearly a case of an occupational hazard, me going for best of two-falls-out-of-three with a cultural icon — and losing.

— Hanke lamenting a decade’s worth of Tyler Perry reviews

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Late in Jason X one of the actresses utters the line, “This sucks on so many levels,” making it perhaps cinema’s first self-critiquing movie.

— Hanke on Jason X

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Sweet Merciful King of Glory!

What the hell is this witless mess?

— Hanke meeting the bête noire of his decade for the first time, Pootie Tang

It’s O’Toole who makes every aspect of this — from scenes of gentleness and even great beauty to the depths of despair and a climax of absolutely bone-chilling horror — and translates into what gets my vote for the most memorable performance of all time.

— Hanke talking about his favorite movie character of all-time, Peter O’Toole as the 14th Earl of Gurney in The Ruling Class, from “Cranky Hanke’s Screening Room: My 20 Most Memorable Movie Characters, Part 2”

Galaya

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[T]here’s a decided knack to jugswigging. — Hanke discussing the Brewgrass Festival in his first story for Xpress

W

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Neal Reed, who runs the downtown Fine Arts Theater, says, “In the last 10 years, Ken Hanke has become an Asheville icon. Ken’s distinct way of dissecting a movie, combined with his wit and knowledge of film, keeps us waiting each week to see how he will praise, pan or condescend.”

Marc McCloud, the owner of West Asheville’s Orbit DVD, noticed the difference as well. “I was managing a Blockbuster when I first started reading Ken Hanke’s reviews ... . Right away I picked up on Ken’s love for horror films and I did something that I’ve never done before — I reached out and befriended a critic. We might not always agree, but every review has been thought out and written well.”

When I met Hanke more than eight years ago, I was an impressionable youth who liked bad science-fiction movies. I still, on occasion, like bad science-fiction movies, but now I know how to say why I like them, and that (along with the dubious claim I can now make as a “professional writer”) is all due to him. But he also sees himself as a purveyor of good taste. I, for one, know I (as well as anyone who is friends with him) have received a free film education simply from knowing the man.

“What I would like to do more than anything is convey my enthusiasm for the medium and for individual films,” Hanke points out. “But it mostly is — to put it in the vernacular — to turn people on to movies they might otherwise never consider going to see.” X

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arts X community

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Going big: Soulful songstress Kellin Watsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s project had 28 backers who raised $3,210, exceeding her goal by $210.

by Wendi Loomis This fall, five Asheville artists and entrepreneurs received a â&#x20AC;&#x153;kickstartâ&#x20AC;? from their communities through a new Internet-based campaign. With the cumulative help of 381 supporters, a total of $31,387 was raised to fund everything from recording sessions to a food truck. How? Kickstarter.com.

Founded in 2009, kickstarter.com helps artists fundraise for their creative endeavors through online outreach. Artists offer incentives for backers at various pledge levels, ranging from a poster or sticker to homemade cookies or a private house concert. Donations accrue over a period of one to 90 days, with the specific range set by the administrator. A project receives funding if the financial goal, or threshold, is met within that duration. If a project does not reach its minimum funding goal (projects can raise more), the campaign is canceled.

After one of the first local Kickstarter success stories, musician Aaron â&#x20AC;&#x153;Woodyâ&#x20AC;? Wood,

48 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

funded his recording project in August, three more local musicians followed suit.

Amanda Platt of The Honeycutters, solo artist Kellin Watson and Adam Strange of Granola Funk Express shared their Kickstarter experience.

The Honeycutters used Kickstarter because, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we liked the format, and thought it was a cool opportunity for fans to get involved,â&#x20AC;? Platt told Xpress.â&#x20AC;? A number of people had been asking us about our second album, and the only thing stopping us from making it was capital.â&#x20AC;? Kickstarter liked the Honeycutters back. The band reached its $15,000 goal (plus $103) with the help of 86 backers.

Watson appreciated â&#x20AC;&#x153;the community-based approach that Kickstarter had,â&#x20AC;? and the way the site â&#x20AC;&#x153;made me promote and push the project more. If I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t successful in reaching my goal, then no one who pledged would be charged, and all the money would go back to their pockets. That rule really made me determined to make the project a success.â&#x20AC;?

Watson’s project had 28 backers, raising $3,210 (the goal was $3,000).

For Adam Strange, using Kickstarter allowed him freedom to focus more time on the art — and less on working odd jobs for funding. Adam noted his “first album was out of pocket, 100 percent. I had to play shows and wash dishes to make that record. This one was almost 50 percent fan-funded.”

With the help of 66 backers, GFE raised $3,077, almost $400 more than their $2,700 goal Recording projects have pretty clear budgetary demands: studio time, post-production, pressing records and so on.

Artists in other media use Kickstarter as well — even if their final product can’t exactly be distributed.

When local painter Dustin Spagnola began the Asheville to Miami Mural project he wasn’t even thinking about fundraising. “The whole idea was just how do we get people from here to Miami, Fla. and have them have the ability to paint?” It was suggested that Spagnola try Kickstarter to fund his trip with a group of artists to Miami’s annual Art Basel event. He decided to try for a modest goal of $750.

According to the Kickstarter site, the project raised $1,146 from 47 backers.

Local chef Suzy Phillips represents another side of Kickstarter that has nothing to do with albums or murals: business. Specifically, a Lebanese food truck.

“My vision is quite simple,” Phillps wrote on her Kickstarter page. “I want to serve my Asheville community and folks that come and visit from out of town a true authentic experience of Lebanese street food served from a vintage step-up van that would run on spent peanut oil from its fryers and powered by solar panels and biodiesel fuel.”

Phillips successfully raised $8,851 (the goal was $8,000) from 154 backers. “I have people that I never met before in Asheville contact me to tell me how inspiring this is for them and people can’t wait to have my food,” she remarked.

After their successful first campaign, all the artists felt that the Kickstarter site is something they would use again for future projects because it offers

Grateful steps: “People have been incredibly supportive,” says Amanda Platt of the Honeycutters. something more important than just the money raised.

Watson explains, “doing a fundraiser project like this not only creates a buzz and helps me raise funds, but it also gives the fans and friends a sense of being a part of the process, and it really gives everyone a great sense of community and team effort.”

Strange also found that his “friends and fans loved the campaign. It did a lot for me personally with publicity. So many people have been talking about my album, and just know it exists.”

Spagnola views his project as an act of reciprocation. “A lot of this money we raised we’re actually going to turn around and reinvest. When we reinvest it, what’s happening is we’re continuing to tell people about what we did.”

Time will tell whether the Honeycutters indeed “save [the] world with its second album” as stated in their project title, but the overwhelming community support is inspiring. Platt noted, “People have been so incredibly supportive. Every show we’ve played since reaching our goal, and even just walking down the street or in the grocery store we have people coming up to us and saying ‘congratulations.’ The day before the drive ended it was like the last scene in It’s a Wonderful Life: [bandmate] Pete [James] and I were checking the website every five minutes and there were pledges coming in from people we hadn’t seen in years, friends, family — one of my professors from UNCA even pledged!”

“I think people got excited about a couple of things,” said Phillips of her campaign, and Kickstarter in general. “The involvement of the community, the success of the project, and faith in humanity that there is good out there.”

All these Asheville Kickstarter projects are archived on Kickstarter.com, allowing backers to follow the process after the campaign is completed. At the same time, successful projects provide strong examples of the strength and possibility — and effectiveness — of community-supported fundraising. X Wendi Loomis can be reached at wendi@jazzandpoetry.com.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 49

theprofiler

by becky upham

The Profiler’s year in review

Becky Upham looks at the past 12 months of music highs and lows, and profiles herself, too If you…

Were regularly mistaken for a boy until you were 11, Campaigned to be president of the Math Club in high school, Couldn’t decide who was cooler, Karen or Richard Carpenter, Consider caring for curly hair a legitimate hobby...

Then you, too, could write The Profiler! I feel so fortunate to live in this amazing place with such a vibrant music scene, and I love writing the Profiler. My brother tells me it’s the perfect marriage of my two loves: music and making fun of people. I’m always excited about what’s next!

Now IN Roots organic Formula 707 Potting Soil Flora Duo 2 Part Nutrient Nextgen Digital Ballasts & Much More Competetive Prices & Advice You Can Trust!

www.newagegardens.com “Family Owned & Operated”

Located on 2 acres 5 miles from Asheville I-40 (exit 59) Call for details (828) 299-9989

DSZTUBM!SFBEJOH Uivstebzt!2.6 Shop Online: silverarmadillo.com

Open Daily • 253-3020

52 Westgate Parkway Westgate Shopping Center • Asheville

Favorite Shows:

Best Surprises:

The Avett Brothers: Okay, it was last year New Year’s Eve (they played past midnight, right?), but these guys just continue to blow me away with their passion and energy.

Vampire Weekend: Preppy, polished, plaid … I know, I’ve heard the haters, but I can’t help loving them.

Clem Snide: Eef Barzelay ditched his band for the night and performed solo at the Grey Eagle to a crowd of about 50 people; I so admire his songwriting and style.

Jonsi: One of the highlights of my Moogfest experience. He didn’t play an uptempo song for the first 30 minutes, and he had the crowd captivated the entire time.

Hot Chip: To me this was the most danceable show at Moogfest, and I love me some Girl Talk. These guys were just fantastic.

Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings: Sharon Jones is just in a league of her own. She truly knows how to perform, and she has the voice to back it up.

The Black Keys: You see these guys take the stage, and they seem like the world’s most unlikely rock stars; then they just take over the place with these searing blues riffs and thundering drums. Good times.

Joanna Newsom: She plays the harp, and she can bang on the piano like a crazy muppet. What more could you want?

Josh Rouse: He seemed a little out of it when he first took the stage (his guitar was tuned completely wrong), but as he and his bandmates gathered around one mike to sing “Chan Chan” for the final encore, I was completely won over!

Mayer Hawthorne: “This is what we call an intimate show,” he said before he unleashing his classic R&B grooves that had everyone up dancing.

Broken Social Scene: Never let it be said that Canadians can’t rock it out.

JEWELRY•MINERALS•FOSSILS BEADS • INTRIGUING GIFTS

50 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

Kinda Disappointing: MGMT Ra Ra Riot Blitzen Trapper

Becky Upham posts a weekly workout playlist, as well as a featured song of the day, on her blog: beckyupham.com.

Favorite Concert Moments: Sharon Jones pulling an unsuspecting guy up onto the stage and serenading him with “Be Easy.”

Mayer Hawthorne breaking into an awesome cover of “What a Fool Believes.”

Vampire Weekend taking the stage and launching into “White Sky.” When Rooney gave my daughter, Cicely, and her friend Catherine a shout out from the stage.

Sitting on the floor at the Grey Eagle with my sweetie listening to Eef Barzelay (Clem Snide) cover Journey’s “Faithfully.”

How Did I Miss That?

Modest Mouse (Orange Peel) Rodrigo y Gabriela (Orange Peel) Yeasayer (Grey Eagle) Jamey Johnson (Orange Peel) Local Natives (Grey Eagle) Delta Spirit (Grey Eagle) OK Go (Orange Peel) The Tallest Man on Earth (Forsythia Hall)

Favorite Albums of the Year: Kayne West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Girl Talk: All Day Broken Bells: Broken Bells Robyn: Body Talk Jonsi: Go Local Natives: Gorilla Manor Vampire Weekend: Contra Beach House: Teen Dream Cee Lo Green: The Lady Killer

Worst Concert Moment: When a random woman stopped me in the bathroom during the Black Keys and asked, “Don’t you love being the oldest people here?” (I’m still thinking about how I should have answered that ... kicking someone is never the solution.)

Biggest Concert Pet Peeve: A tie between people who don’t take a drink of their overflowing beer before weaving through the crowd and women who cluelessly and repeatedly bonk me with their suitcase-sized handbag while grooving to the music.

Songs that I Played Over and Over Until I Got Really Sick of Them: Joanna Newsom: “Good Intentions Paving Company” Sleigh Bells: “Rill Rill” Robyn: “Dancing On My Own” Rihanna: “Only Girl in the World” Vampire Weekend: “Giving Up the Gun” Kayne West: “Runaway”

My Music Fantasy: Prince comes to the Orange Peel.

Chris Daughtry forms a jam band.

Fleet Foxes The Ting Tings Adele Bon Iver My Morning Jacket Santigold

Don’t miss the opportunity to be in this great annual resource.

Contact Us Today!

My Music Nightmare:

2011 Albums I Can’t Wait to Hear (and see live!):

Green Building Directory 2011

Is This an Amazing Town for Music or What?

Check out this February: Dr. Dog, Tapes ‘n Tapes, Josh Ritter, Bassnectar, Punch Brothers, Rooney, Budos Band, Los Amigos Invisibles, Trombone Shorty, and The Old 97’s!

advertise@mountainx.com (828) 251-1333 Space reservation deadline is February 3

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 51

clubland

Fairview Tavern 831 Old Fairview Rd.

Next to Home Depot

828-505-7236

wed â&#x20AC;˘ Open Jam Thur â&#x20AC;˘ KaraOKe

Fri. dec. 31 BlueS year eve

Delta Moon tix available

Champagne Toast - Breakfast served after midnight daily FOOd & drinK SpecialS

Mon-Thur 3-1 â&#x20AC;˘ Fri & SaT 12-2 â&#x20AC;˘ Sun 12-1

where to find the clubs â&#x20AC;˘ what is playing â&#x20AC;˘ listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina C l u b l an d r u l e s â&#x20AC;˘To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafĂŠs with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed. â&#x20AC;˘To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue. â&#x20AC;˘Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Dane Smith at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland. â&#x20AC;˘Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed. â&#x20AC;˘The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues. â&#x20AC;˘Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publication. This is a firm deadline.

Wed., December 22

Open mic

Curras Nuevo Cuisine

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and

Mark Guest (jazz guitar)

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Blues

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Jim Arrendell & the Cheap Suits

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party

Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Vanuatu Kava Bar

Shag dance

show, 8pm-1am

Old-time jam, 6pm

Open mic w/ Caleb Beissert

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Front stage: Woody Wood (soul, pop)

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Westville Pub

Soul & jazz jam

Jamminâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; w/ Max & Miles

Olive or Twist

Wild Wing Cafe

Heather Masterton Trio (swing, jazz)

Big Daddy Love (Americana)

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Thu., December 23

Blue Note Grille

Hollandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grille

Jazz jam

Marc Keller (singer-songwriter)

BoBo Gallery

Red Hot Sugar Babies (hot jazz)

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s night, 10pm Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Fairview Tavern

Open mic Flat Rock Grille

Jamison Adams (classical guitar), 6-9pm Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter) French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Stephon Lamar (indie, folk)

Athenaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Club

Good Stuff

Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Open mic

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hits & Shitsâ&#x20AC;? w/ Jamie Hepler Red Stag Grill

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Open mic w/ Brian Keith TallGaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Open mic/jam, 7pm

Emerald Lounge

Songs from the Road Band (bluegrass, country, roots) Flat Rock Grille

Shane Perlowin (classical guitar), 6-9pm French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Tyler Herring (folk, Americana, roots)

Athenaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Club

Garage at Biltmore

DJ night

C.R.I.M.E.

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Tom & the Whiting Brothers

Gene Peyroux & The Snow Monkeys

Blue Note Grille

Joe Carlson (singer-songwriter) BoBo Gallery

Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Sam Soper & Co.

Bluegrass jam

Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Town Pump

Open mic & jam

Good Stuff

(â&#x20AC;&#x153;extreme Americanaâ&#x20AC;?)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Handlebar

Hours: Mon-Thur 2pm-12am Fri & Sat 2pm-2am

FRIDAY 12/24

Sunday 2-10pm

;gZY H`ZaaZc\Zg 8deeZg @ZiiaZ

THURS.

SIZZLINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; HOT BLUEGRASS TO WARM YOUR CHRISTMAS EVE! SATURDAY 12/25

- CLOSED FRIDAY 12/31

Hdch d[ GVae]

RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH RALPH! SATURDAY 1/01

EZ\\n GVijho I]Z Hl^c\ 9VYY^Zh EVERY SWING IN BETWEEN!

TUESDAY 1/04 SINGER SONGWRITER IN THE ROUND â&#x20AC;˘ 8-10 PM FEAT. ?dh]jV H^c\aZidc!

A^cYV B^iX]Zaa! AZ^\] <aVhh <gVci EZZeaZh

Wine Tasting!!

Parris 6-8pm

MON. Nights Live Music in December w/ The Twilite Broadcasters

TUES. Local Artist Night Melissa Terrezza & Sean â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jinxâ&#x20AC;? Pace Live Jazz 7-9

WED. 6 Local taps $3 Pint Specials Beer Tasting w/ Sam 6-8

SUN. Bubbles on Special

5walnut.com 52 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

Christmas Eve-Eve w/ the Taylor Moore Band, Charles Wood, The Will & Michael Carnes

Scandals Nightclub

Curras Nuevo Cuisine

Local DJ exposure night feat: DJ Shivers & DJ Rasa

Mark Guest (jazz guitar)

Salsa dance, 7pm

Stella Blue

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

The Enemy Lovers (indie, rock)

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Temptations Red Room

Eleven on Grove

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Electro-lush w/ Mark Davis & Krik Nice, 10pm

Electronic dance w/ local producers/DJs, 10pm

Bluegrass jam, 7pm

The Get Down

Flat Rock Grille

Lobster Trap

The Cigar Brothers

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”)

Town Pump

Live jazz w/ Steve Sarant & Johnny Ferrara, 6-9pm

Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill

David Zoll Trio

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Mela

Peggy Ratusz & friends

Belly dancing

Vanuatu Kava Bar

Havana Restaurant

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Crystal Kin Mtg.

Heather Luttrell (rock, soul, Americana) w/ Underhill Rose

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Olive or Twist

Watershed

Swing dancing w/ Heather Masterton & The Swing Station Band Pack’s Tavern

Ginny McAfee (singer-songwriter) Purple Onion Cafe

Jimmy Landry (folk rock)

Aaron LaFalce (piano) Open mic Westville Pub

Chastity Brown Band (folk, jazz) Wild Wing Cafe

DJ Paco dance party

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Matt Getman (jazz, soul, pop) Good Stuff

Ian Harrod (Americana) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

NFL

FOOTBALL Over 70 Beers on Tap Monumental Hoagies Specialty Pizza Scrumptious Salads Fresh Ingredients • Vegan Friendly

We’ve Got the NFL SuNday ticket

Harrah’s Cherokee

DJ San-D Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Fred Skellenger & Copper Kettle (bluegrass) Jerusalem Garden

Red Stag Grill

Fri., December 24

Belly dancing w/ live music

Billy Sheeran (piano)

Athena’s Club

Lobster Trap

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Johnston Swingtet

Steve Whiddon the pianoman

Mark Appleford (Americana, blues), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

Root Bar No. 1

BoBo Gallery

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist)

Kevin Scanlon (folk, acoustic rock)

DJ Rasa

Red Stag Grill

Purple Onion Cafe

IKD:7O :;9$ (, IJ7HJ?D= 7J ' FC F7JH?EJI 6 8?BBI @;JI 6 8;7HI H7L;DI 6 8HEMDI J?J7DI 6 9>?;<I B?EDI 6 :EBF>?DI L?A?D=I 6 ;7=B;I H;:IA?DI 6 @7=K7HI

Sat. Jan. 8th @ 1pm

IJ7HJ?D= 7J * FC

*/;HI 6 H7CI I;7>7MAI 6 8K997D;;HI J;N7DI 6 8HED9EI 9EBJI 6 H7?:;HI =?7DJI 6 F79A;HI

Sat. Jan. 8th @ 8pm

lOCAlS TueSdAy

25% OFF All FOOd w/ valid local Id

50 Broadway • Asheville, NC 236-9800 mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 53

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter)

Now Serving Cocktails!

Temptations Red Room

D-Day dance party The Warehouse Live

Live music

Featuring the Best Food Ever!

(Seriously)

3pm-2am everyday pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

Upscale Tavern Cuisine Fresh Ingredients & Creative Recipes 33 Brews on Tap – Beer City, USA

HOLIDAY WEEKEND • Hot Holiday Drink Specials • Football / Basketball On the Big Screen

Thurs. 12/23

Ginny McAfee [solo / acoustic]

Christmas Eve Dinner Special $13.99 Sat. 12/25 Closed ~ Fri. 12/24

Merry Christmas!

$06/5%08/ UP

New Year’s Eve Celebration!

3 Floors, 2 DJs, Multiple Bars, Party Favors & Champagne Toast! $10 Advance Tix Available at Pack’s

Century Room

Buffet Dinner $28/person (Price Includes $10 Countdown Ticket)

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music Vanuatu Kava Bar

Space Medicine (ambient, folk, jam) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Bobby Sullivan (piano) White Horse

Special Christmas Eve concert w/ Zach Blew, Kim Hughes, Bob Hinkle & more

Sat., December 25 Athena’s Club

Mark Appleford (Americana, blues), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am Curras Nuevo Cuisine

Greg Olson (folk) Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Fairview Tavern

Live music Flat Rock Grille

Live jazz w/ Dave Lagadi, 6-9pm Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Harrah’s Cherokee

DJ San-D Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Hotel Indigo

Sunset Sessions w/ Ben Hovey (“sonic scientist”), 7-10pm Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music Midway Tavern

Live music Olive or Twist

42nd Street Jazz Band Pack’s Tavern

‘80s/’90s night w/ live DJ Red Stag Grill

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter) Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Live DJ Scandals Nightclub

DJ dance party & drag show Temptations Red Room

Open 7 Days (11am - ‘til)

225-6944 • packstavern.com FREE Parking weekdays after 5pm & all weekend (behind us on Marjorie St.)

20 S. Spruce St.

(off Biltmore Ave. beside Pack Square Park)

54 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller

Marc Keller

Sun., December 26

Tue., December 28

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Blue Note Grille

Linda Mitchell (singer-songwriter)

Eric Congdon

BoBo Gallery

BoBo Gallery

Jarrod

D’or African Party

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Eleven on Grove

Shag dance & lessons

Swing lesson only, no tango lesson or dance

Craggie Brewing Company

Emerald Lounge

Hangover in the Hangar: “Bring your vinyl and we’ll spin it; Bring your own food and we’ll grill it,” 2-8pm

Tuesday Night Funk Jam

Flat Rock Grille

Garage at Biltmore

Live jazz w/ Dave Lagadi, 12pm Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Classical guitar duo, 10am-12:30pm Bob Zullo (jazz, guitar), 6:30-10:30pm Hotel Indigo

Sunset Sessions w/ Ben Hovey (“sonic scientist”), 7-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Irish session, 3pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Aaron Price (piano) Lobster Trap

Mark Appleford (blues, rock, Americana) Luella’s Bar-B-Que

Jon Corbin (of Firecracker Jazz Band), 122:30pm Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

“Vinyl at the Vault” w/ Chris Ballard

Frankie Bones

Aaron LaFalce (alternative, acoustic) Phat Tuesdays Good Stuff

Innocent Flannel (alternative, indie, rock) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Iron Horse Station

Open mic w/ Jesse James, 7-10pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Jake Hollifield (blues, ragtime) Lobster Trap

Jay Brown (country, blues) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Kellin Watson (folk, soul, pop) O’Malley’s On Main

Open mic Orange Peel

DJ dance party & drag show

Hometown Holiday Jam feat: Mike Barnes & Friends, Marc Keller, The Nightcrawlers, Mother Soul, Sons of Ralph & more

The Get Down

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Scandals Nightclub

Shake it Like a Caveman (blues, rock) w/ Tigers & Cinnamon, 8pm Vincenzo’s Bistro

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

“Vinyl at the Vault” w/ Chris Ballard The Get Down

Greg Cartwright spins soul Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Mon., December 27

Blues night

BoBo Gallery

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Classics w/ Z (DJ)

Marc Keller & Company (variety)

Emerald Lounge

Westville Pub

Open mic

Blues jam

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

White Horse

Contra dance Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Irish Sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:30pm

Bob Zullo (jazz, guitar), 6:30-10:30pm

Wed., December 29

Handlebar

Athena’s Club

Shake it like a Caveman (one-man band) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Super duper dance party w/ live DJ

Songwriter in the Round Series feat: Moses Atwood w/ Chelsea LaBate & Alex Krug

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

The Get Down

Posana Cafe

The Krektones (rock, surf)

Kat Williams & Tom Leiner (jazz, blues, soul)

Blue Note Grille

The Warehouse Live

The Get Down

Live music

Masters Bluegrass Jam

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Free Flow Band (soul, funk)

Bill Gerhardt Trio w/ Sharon LaMotte (jazz), 7:30pm

Open mic Jazz jam BoBo Gallery

Bring your own vinyl night Bosco’s Sports Zone

Shag dance

clubdirectory The 170 La Cantinetta 687-8170 Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 259-5544 Athena’s Club 252-2456 Avenue M 350-8181 Barley’s Tap Room 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 Blue Mountain Pizza 658-8777 Blue Note Grille 697-6828 Boiler Room 505-1612 BoBo Gallery 254-3426 Bosco’s Sports Zone 684-1024 Broadway’s 285-0400 Club Hairspray 258-2027 Craggie Brewing Company 254-0360 Curras Nuevo 253-2111 Desoto Lounge 986-4828 Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 The Dripolator 398-0209 Ed Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ 296-0100 Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge 232- 4372 Fairview Tavern 505-7236 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492

Firestorm Cafe 255-8115 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Parkside Pub & Grill 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 French Broad Chocolate Lounge 252-4181 The Garage 505-2663 The Get Down 505-8388 Good Stuff 649-9711 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612 The Grove Park Inn (Elaine’s Piano Bar/ Great Hall) 252-2711 The Handlebar (864) 233-6173 The Hangar 684-1213 Hannah Flanagans 252-1922 Harrah’s Cherokee 497-7777 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Highland Brewing Company 299-3370 Holland’s Grille 298-8780 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 Jack of the Wood 252-5445 Jerusalem Garden 254-0255 Jus One More 253-8770

Laurey’s Catering 252-1500 Lexington Avenue Brewery 252-0212 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Luella’s Bar-B-Que 505-RIBS Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Midway Tavern 687-7530 Mela 225-8880 Mellow Mushroom 236-9800 Mike’s Tavern 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill 258-1550 Olive Or Twist 254-0555 O’Malley’s On Main 246-0898 The Orange Peel 225-5851 Pack’s Tavern 225-6944 Pineapple Jack’s 253-8860 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Posana Cafe 505-3969 Pulp 225-5851 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Red Stag Grill at the Grand Bohemian Hotel 505-2949 Rendezvous 926-0201 Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill 622-0001 Root Bar No.1 299-7597

Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Scully’s 251-8880 Skyland Performing Arts Center 693-0087 Stella Blue 236-2424 Stephanie’s Roadhouse Bistro 299-4127 The Still 683-5913 Straightaway Cafe 669-8856 Switzerland Cafe 765-5289 Tallgary’s 232-0809 Temptations Red Room 252-0775 Thirsty Monk South 505-4564 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues 254-7072 Vanuatu Kava 505-8118 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 The Warehouse Live 681-9696 The Watershed 669-0777 Wedge Brewery 505 2792 Well Bred Bakery & Cafe 645-9300 Westville Pub 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe 253-3066

Broadway’s

Holland’s Grille

The Get Down

‘80s night, 10pm

Marc Keller (singer-songwriter)

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

MegaHurtz w/ Distrophy & Blowtorche Circumcision (metal)

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Bluegrass jam

Fairview Tavern

Old-time jam, 6pm

Town Pump

Open mic

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Open mic

Flat Rock Grille

Front stage: Woody Wood (soul, pop)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Jamison Adams (classical guitar), 6-9pm

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Jim Arrendell & the Cheap Suits

Frankie Bones

Soul & jazz jam

Vanuatu Kava Bar

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter)

Olive or Twist

Open mic w/ Caleb Beissert

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Heather Masterton Trio (swing, jazz)

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Juan Holladay (soul, folk)

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

Good Stuff

“Hits & Shits” w/ Jamie Hepler

Westville Pub

Open mic

Red Stag Grill

Jammin’ w/ Max & Miles

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues)

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Open mic w/ Brian Keith

Carpentry

by Lucy

clubland@mountainx.com

Thu., December 30 Asheville Civic Center

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 55

The Avett Brothers (Americana, bluegrass, rock) w/ Truth & Salvage Co. & The Low Anthem

*I=;F +OMC= #P?LS 1OH>;S

Athenaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Club

DJ night

monday

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mack Kellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s / Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues / Wild Wing Cafe

Mark Bumgarner (Americana, bluegrass) Blue Note Grille

JG

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Plus, XPress Arts Writer Alli MArshAll & BAd Ash tAlk ABout locAl shoWs & events!

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JAkE HOLLIfIELD

Local Art

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WOODY WOOD

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Roots & Songwriter-fueled Jazz

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Beacon Pub / Buffalo Wild Wings / Fredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parkside Pub & Grill / The Hangar / Infusions / Midway Tavern / Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malleys on Main / Hollandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grille

Mark Guest (jazz guitar) Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Flat Rock Grille

Shane Perlowin (classical guitar), 6-9pm French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Matt Walsh (blues) Good Stuff

Gene Peyroux & The Snow Monkeys (â&#x20AC;&#x153;extreme Americanaâ&#x20AC;?)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

THANKS ASHEVILLE! ...FOR MAKING US THE

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ADULT CLUB IN WESTERN NC FOR THE PAST 14 YEARS

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Cancun Mexican Grill / Chasers / Club Hairspray / Harrahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cherokee Fairview Tavern / Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill / Shovelhead Saloon / The Still

friday Fairview Tavern / Fat Catâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Billards Infusions / Mack Kellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Midway Tavern / Shovelhead Saloon Stockade Brew House The 170 La Cantinetta The Hangar / Hollandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grille Infusions / Jus One More / Rendezvous / Shovelhead Saloon / The Still

sunday Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone / Cancun Mexican Grill / The Hangar / Mack Kellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s / Wild Wing Cafe / The Get Down Bluegrass jam, 7pm Lobster Trap

Hank Bones (â&#x20AC;&#x153;man of 1,000 songsâ&#x20AC;?)

Mack Kellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pub & Grill

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety) Mela

Belly dancing Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Uncle Trumps Radio w/ Liberated State (jazz, funk) Olive or Twist

Swing dancing w/ Heather Masterton & The Swing Station Band Orange Peel

Toubab Krewe (jam, world, afro-pop) w/ Jonathan Scales Fourchestra Packâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tavern

TUESDAY OPEN BLUES JAM Shrimp â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;n Grits $1 off Rum Drinks

thursday

saturday

Jack Of The Wood Pub

TRIVIA NIGHT 9 pm â&#x20AC;˘ Prizes Closedâ&#x20AC;Ś Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Celebrating Christmas with Loved Ones!

TUES. 12/28

wednesday

Curras Nuevo Cuisine

Salsa dance, 7pm

Real New Orleans Po Boys $1 off all Whiskey

Getawayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Eleven on Grove) Jus One More / Mikeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Side Pocket / Rendezvous / Tallgaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s / Temptations

Open mic & jam

JAMMINâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; W/ MAX & MILES

CHASTITY BROWN BAND

SUN. 12/26

Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

club xcapades

2

FRI. 12/24

Skylake (indie, rock, experimental) w/ Knives of Spain

Havana Restaurant

426 Haywood Rd. West Asheville TheCircleAsheville.com 828.254.3332

WED. 12/22

BoBo Gallery

w/ SIRIUS B, BLOODROOT ORCHAESTARR No Cover Charge

tuesday

Mayes2 (jazz, classical, R&B)

Fri. DEC. 31

karaoke

Mon. - Sat. 7pm - 2am â&#x20AC;˘ 21 to Enter 828-258-9652 â&#x20AC;˘ 99 New Leicester Hwy. (3miles west of Downtown -off Patton Ave.)

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Scott Raines (acoustic, rock) Purple Onion Cafe

Chris Rosser (folk rock, fusion) Red Stag Grill

Billy Sheeran (piano)

Electronic Voice Phenomenon (ambient, electronic, jazz)

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Steve Whiddon the pianoman Scandals Nightclub

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Live music

Garage at Biltmore

Town Pump

Local DJ exposure night feat: Nicodemus, Yorgo Simou, DJ DFA & DJ Acolyte

Touch Full Boom NYE

Wink Keziah (singer-songwriter, folk, roots)

Good Stuff

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Stella Blue

The Charles Walker Band

The Enemy Lovers (indie, rock)

Gene Peyroux & the Snow Monkeys CD release party (Americana, blues, funk)

Temptations Red Room

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

NYE Reggae Bash w/ KinJah

Electro-lush w/ Mark Davis & Krik Nice, 10pm

Reigning Sound (rock, garage)

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Vestiges (metal)

Westville Pub

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Peggy Ratusz & friends

Handlebar

Cisco Playboys (western swing, rockabilly, country)

Vanuatu Kava Bar

Mac Arnold & Plate Full O’ Blues (blues, rock)

White Horse

Mark Growden

Harrah’s Cherokee

Vincenzo’s Bistro

DJ San-D

Aaron LaFalce (piano)

Holland’s Grille

Watershed

Twisted Trail (country)

The Swayback Sisters (folk, acoustic, Americana), 8:30 p.m.

John Leo & the Eggmen (John Lennon tribute), 10pm

Open mic

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Westville Pub

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Beside the Fire (folk, roots)

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Wild Wing Cafe

Sons of Ralph (bluegrass)

DJ Paco dance party

Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music Jus One More

Wild Wing Cafe

Rubiks Groove (rock)

Sat., January 1

Emerald Lounge

Front stage: New Year’s Eve w/ Sirius.B (gypsy folk) & Bloodroot Orchaestarr Lobster Trap

Panthergod CD release party (electronic, dance) w/ Marley Carroll, P3riph3ral, Moving Temple, Kentsoundz & DJ Gift

Preston Cate (jazz)

Garage at Biltmore

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Touch Full Boom NYE

Shane Pruitt (blues, rock)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Orange Peel

Clutch (rock) w/ Kylesa & Righteous Fool

New Year’s Day Comedy Show w/ Jerry Farber & Jonny Porrazzo

Pack’s Tavern

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

“Countdown to 2011” w/ DJ Moto

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Posana Cafe

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Kat Williams & Tom Leiner (jazz, blues, soul), 9-11pm

Peggy Ratusz & the Swing Daddies (swing)

Purple Onion Cafe

Jazz night

Scoot Pittman Trio (funk, rock, roots)

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Red Stag Grill

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter)

Travers Chandler & Avery County w/ Danny Paisley & the Southern Grass

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Olive or Twist

New Year’s Eve Party w/ Rewind Blue

42nd Street Jazz Band

Scandals Nightclub

Pack’s Tavern

Grove House New Year’s Eve party w/ DJ Stratos

Aaron LaFalce Band (acoustic, rock)

Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band (funk)

Stella Blue

Rewind Blue

Fairview Tavern

Ralph Roddenbery (rock) w/ Phuncle Sam & The Jaime Thomas Band

Scandals Nightclub

TallGary’s

Stella Blue

New Year’s party w/ Unit 50 (rock)

Live jazz w/ Steve Sarant & Johnny Ferrara, 6-9pm

Temptations Red Room

American Gonzos (rock, funk) w/ Machiavillians & Neckbreaker

D-Day dance party

The Warehouse Live

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

The Get Down

Live music

Dave Desmelik (Americana)

The Dispersants w/ Zombie Queen, Blood Summer & Death of Analog

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Mark Appleford (Americana, blues), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Linda Mitchell (singer-songwriter) Blue Note Grille

Russ Wilson Jazz Quartet BoBo Gallery

Special NYE 2011 Bash Boiler Room

Grove House New Year’s Eve party feat: DJ Acolyte & “Asheville’s best drag performers” Curras Nuevo Cuisine

Mark Guest (jazz guitar) Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Grove House New Year’s Eve party w/ Nicodemus, VJ Loopy Jenkins, Yorgo Simou, J-Hecht & Luis Armando Emerald Lounge

Blues Year Eve w/ Delta Moon (rock, blues, roots) Flat Rock Grille

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Coming Soon

Saturday, Jan. 22 - 8pm

Off I-26 Exit 40 - Airport Rd. (behind McDonald’s)

Big Sam’S Funky nation

Mon. - Sat. 7 Days 9am - midnight

mon - Wed 4pm - 9pm // thurS - Sat 2pm - 12am // Sun 2pm - 9pm

828.687.9999

$10 in advance • $15 @ door

Follow Mountain Xpress on Facebook at www.facebook.com/mountainx for local events, news & ticket giveaways!

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Athena’s Club

Nc License# 5283

Greg Olson (folk) Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

The Avett Brothers (Americana, bluegrass, rock) w/ David Mayfield Parade

Acupressure TherApy

Curras Nuevo Cuisine

New Year’s Eve w/ Turntable

Asheville Civic Center

Asia Spa

Vanuatu Kava Bar

The Get Down

Fri., December 31

Now opeN!

Lobster Trap

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

DJ dance party & drag show

Marc Keller

The Warehouse Live

Live music

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 57

58 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

crankyhanke

theaterlistings WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22 - THURSDAY, DECEMBER 30

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

picksoftheweek True Grit JJJJJ

Director: Joel and Ethan Coen Players: Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Closed Christmas Day The Polar Express (PG) 1:00, 4:00 Jackass 3 (R) 10:00 (no show Fri Dec 24) Secretariat (PG) 7:00 (no show Fri Dec 24)

Carmike Cinema 10 (298-4452) n

Western/Drama Rated PG-13

The Story: A young girl, a drunken U.S. Marshal and a self-satisfied Texas Ranger pursue the murderer of the girl’s father into Indian Territory.

The Lowdown: A stunner of an entertaining movie from the Coen Brothers — one of their best and one of the best films of the year.

The Coen Brothers’ True Grit is less a remake of the 1969 Henry Hathaway film with John Wayne than it is a completely new film based on Charles Portis’ novel, more a literary adaptation than a cinematic remonkeying. The stories are more or less the same, but everything about the Coen film feels fresh, new and, yes, unmistakably a Coen Brothers picture. It’s also one of the best films of the year, and almost certainly the best-looking one. And it just may surprise some folks, because while it’s clearly the Coens’ work, it is in no way revisionist — except perhaps as concerns revising the material back to the source. In most respects, what they’ve made here is something startlingly like a traditional Western. For the Coens, that may be viewed as radical.

It’s impossible, of course, not to compare this True Grit to the Hathaway film, since it’s so well known. First of all, the casting here couldn’t be more different. Hathaway gave us (or was saddled with) a hammy John Wayne, a wooden Glen Campbell and an inept Kim Darby. The Coens give us a shrewdly underplaying Jeff Bridges, a deceptively simple Matt Damon and a pitch-perfect newcomer, Hailee Steinfeld, who, unlike Darby, is the right age for the character of Mattie Ross. Stylistically, Hathaway gave us what amounted to an old-fashioned Hollywoodized movie, broadly played and energetic, but lacking in any real depth. The Coens give us a more subtle, dryly humorous film with an undercurrent of darkness.

The story, as noted, is largely the same.

Fourteen-year-old Mattie sets out to avenge the murder of her father by Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), who has run away into Indian Territory. Apprised of the fact that she needs a U.S. Marshal to pursue him there, she hires — mostly against his will — the surly, drinksodden, one-eyed and downright mean Rooster Cogburn (Bridges) for the job. Alarming the family lawyer (bonus points for viewers who recognize the unbilled actor providing the

n Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (254-1281)

Colin Firth (in an Oscar-worthy performance) and Geoffrey Rush (in another Oscarworthy performance) star in Tom Hooper’s magnificently entertaining and moving The King’s Speech. voice-over for the lawyer) and out-maneuvering the adults, Mattie is single-minded in her quest. This much is the same, but the tone is different (Rooster is introduced to us as a gravelly, ill-tempered voice from inside an outhouse). There’s a real menace here and more than a little gothic ghoulishness to it all.

Where lesser filmmakers would have traded on Mattie’s pluck and cute-factor, the Coens keep her a grimly determined, unrelentingly dour presence — a kind of pint-sized force of Protestant righteousness. (A great deal of Carter Burwell’s score is grounded in old hymns, reinforcing Mattie’s mind-set, notably “Leaning on the Everlasting Arm,” which film fans will recognize from Charles Laughton’s Night of the Hunter (1955), which was certainly what the Coens had in mind.) Mattie is played straight with Cogburn, and the movie-cowboy Texas Ranger who forces himself on the party, LaBoeuf (Damon), fills the position of an endlessly bickering comedy team. And amazingly, it all works, coming together into a wholly satisfying film experience.

While the Coens — and their usual (since Barton Fink in 1991) cinematographer Roger Deakins — can be relied on for stunning visuals, True Grit may well be the most beautiful of all their films. Yet at the same time, there are fewer of the elaborate camera flourishes here than are found in many of their films. This is more a film grounded in composition than camera movement — and it fits the tone and the genre in which they’re working. The results are a film I find hard to fault on any level. Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of Western vio-

lence, including disturbing images. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Wednesday at The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

The King’s Speech JJJJJ

Director: Tom Hooper (The Damned United) Players: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Guy Pearce, Derek Jacobi, Timothy Spall, Michael Gambon Historical Drama Rated R

The Story: The story of Britain’s King George VI and his attempts — with the help of an unorthodox therapist — to overcome his speech impediment to become the wartime voice of his people.

The Lowdown: An improbable subject becomes a magnificently enjoyable and moving film experience that needs to be seen.

Tom Hooper — whose 2009 film The Damned United went criminally unseen — returns this year with a film likely to be seen by a very large portion of the moviegoing public. The King’s Speech — destined to be a Best Picture contender at the Oscars and likely to snag that Best Actor Oscar for Colin Firth — is as close to a perfect entertainment as you’re likely to get.

The combination of Hooper’s direction, veteran TV writer David Seidler’s screenplay and the

Movie reviews continue on page 61

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 3D (PG) 1:40, 4:25, 7:05, 9:40 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 2D (PG) 1:10, 3:45, 6:25, 8:50 (no 6:25 or 8:50 on Dec 22) Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas (G) 12:10 Sat-Sun only The Fighter (R) 12:55, 1:55, 3:35, 4:35, 6:30, 7:20, 9:00, 9:50 How Do You Know? (R) 1:25, 4:05, 6:50, 9:30 Little Fockers (PG-13) 12:10, 1:20, 2:30, 3:50, 4:50, 6:20, 7:10, 8:35, 9:35 Tangled 2D (PG) 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 6:55, 9:10 Yogi Bear 3D (PG) 12:40, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 9:20 Yogi Bear 2D (PG) 1:15, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40, 9:45

n Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 (274-9500)

127 Hours (R) 12:25, 2:40, 5:05, 7:15 (Thru Fri), 7:50 (Sat-Thu), 9:30 (Thru Fri), 10:15 (Sat-Thu) Black Swan (R) 11:45, 2:15, 4:40, 7:20, 9:45 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (PG) 11:35, 2:05, 4:30, 7:15, 9:50 (Sofa Cinema) Due Date (R) 12:00, 2:30, 4:45, 7:50, 10:15 (Sofa Cinema) Thru Fri only Fair Game (PG-13) 12:20, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:15 (Sofa Cinema) Thru Fri only The Fighter (R) 11:30, 2:00, 4:35, 7:30, 10:00 Gulliver’s Travels (PG) Starts Saturday Dec 25 — 12:15, 2:45, 4:55, 7:15, 9:20 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (PG-13) 11:40, 2:45, 7:00, 10:10 Thru Fri only How Do You Know (PG-13) 11:30, 2:10. 5:00, 7:35, 10:05 I Love You, Phillip Morris (R) Starts Saturday Dec. 25 — 11:55, 2:25, 4:40, 7:55, 10:00 The King’s Speech (R) Starts Saturday Dec 25 — 11:45, 2:25, 5:00, 7:40,

10:20 Little Fockers (PG-13) 11:50, 2:10, 4:35, 7:50, 10:10 Times thru Fri 12:05, 2:35, 4:50, 7:05, 9:25 Times start Sat The Tourist (PG-13) 11:55, 2:25, 4:50, 7:25, 9:55 TRON: Legacy 3D (PG) 11:35, 2:15, 5:00, 7:45, 10:20 TRON: Legacy 2D (PG) 12:20, 3:30, 7:00, 9:40 True Grit (PG-13) 11:50, 2:20, 4:55, 7:30, 10:10 Yogi Bear 3D (PG) 12:30 (Thru Fri), 12:10 (SatThu), 2:50, 4:55, 7:10, 9:35

Cinebarre (665-7776) n

Hereafter (PG-13) 1:10 (Fri-Sun), 4:10, 7:20, 10:05 (Fri-Sun) Life As We Know It (PG-13) 1:15 (Fri-Sun), 4:30, 7:10, 9:50 (Fri-Sun) RED (PG-13) 1:20 (Fri-Sun), 4:20, 7:30, 10:10 (Fri-Sun) Secretariat (PG) 1:00 (Fri-Sun), 4:00, 7:00, 9:55 (Fri-Sun) The Town (R) 1:30 (Fri-Sun), 4:15, 7:15, 10:00 (Fri-Sun)

n Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200) n Epic of Hendersonville (693-1146) n Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536)

Black Swan (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, Late show Sat 9:30 The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (R) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20 Through Dec. 24 The King’s Speech (R) Starts Dec. 25 — 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, Late show Sat. 9:50

Flatrock Cinema (697-2463) n

Little Fockers (PG-13) 1:00 (Fri, Sun-Thu) 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Christmas Eve)

n Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298) n United Artists Beaucatcher (298-1234)

Gulliver’s Travels (PG) Starts Saturday Dec. 25 — 12:10, 12:40, 2:30, 3:00, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (PG-13) 12:20, 4:00, 7:20, 10:30 True Grit (PG-13) 12:05, 2:40, 5:15, 7:50, 10:25 The Tourist (PG-13) 12:15 2:50, 5:25, 8:00, 10:35 TRON: Legacy 3D (PG) 12:00, 12:30, 3:50, 4:20, 7:00, 7:30, 9:50, 10:20

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 59

Tune In to Cranky Hanke’s Movie Reviews

5:30 pm Fridays on Matt Mittan’s Take a Stand.

nowplaying 127 Hours JJJJJ

James Franco, Amber Tamblyn, Kate Mara, Clémence Poésy, Treat Williams, Kate Burton Fact-Based Drama A fact-based story about Aron Ralston, who chose to cut off his arm rather than die when he was trapped by a boulder in the walls of a narrow canyon. A harrowing, brutal, yet ultimately life-affirming film from Danny Boyle. It’s virtually a two-man show—director and star James Franco—and one of the movies of the year. Rated R

Black Swan JJJJJ

Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder Psychological Thriller/Horror The Story A ballerina in a Lincoln Center opera company lands the lead role in a production of “Swan Lake”—and the experience threatens her sanity. A rewarding, disturbing, full-blooded essay in psychological horror of a kind we rarely see—and one of the best films of 2010. Rated R

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader JJ

Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Ben Barnes, Will Poulter, Gary Sweet Allegorical Fantasy The Story The two younger Pevensie children are whisked back to Narnia for further adventures. Dull adventure, debatable religious themes and childish fantasy are doled out in massively halting slabs in this third installment in the Narnia series. Rated PG

Fair Game JJJJJ

Naomi Watts, Sean Penn, Sam Shepard, Noah Emmerich, Michael Kelly, Bruce McGill Fact-Based Political Drama The story of Joseph Wilson, who blew the whistle on the Bush administration for ignoring evidence that Iraq had no nuclear weapons program—and the fallout that occurred when it was leaked that his wife, Valerie Plame, was a CIA agent. An incendiary film about the duplicity of the Bush administration’s machinations to wage war on Iraq. It will undoubtedly polarize audiences. Rated PG-13

The Fighter JJJJ

Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Melissa Leo, Mickey O’Keefe, Jack McGee Biographical Boxing Drama The Story The reallife story of boxer “Irish” Mickey Ward and his rise to fame against all odds—including the help of his family. A good, creatively made boxing biopic that

never breaks through into actual greatness, despite fine work from Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams.

Rated R

his nemesis. Professionally done all the way with strong voice casting, but lacking anything new or compelling. Rated PG

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 JJJJJ

Tangled JJJJ

Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes, Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy Horror/Fantasy With Dumbledore dead and Hogwarts no longer a haven, Harry Potter and his friends find themselves on the run from Lord Voldemort while preparing for the final confrontation with him. A darker, more horrific Harry Potter movie that may not work entirely on its own—but it is, after all, only part one of two. Still, the film continues and expands upon the creativity and quality of the series. Rated PG-13

How Do You Know J

Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson, Jack Nicholson, Kathryn Hahn Theoretical Romcom-Dram A woman whose pro softball career is over has to choose between a pathologically unfaithful pro baseball player and a nice guy who might be going to jail for corporate fraud. Flat, uninspired, uninvolving, unfunny, unromantic and mostly just unlikable. Rated PG-13

I Love You, Phillip Morris JJJJJ

Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro, Antoni Corone, Brennan Brown Fact-Based Romantic Comedy/Drama A fact-based story of the romance between a con man and the young man he meets in prison. An unusual and very good movie that will ruffle some folks’ feathers, owing to its unabashed gay content, but if that isn’t a problem for you, catch this one. Rated R

The King’s Speech JJJJJ

Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Guy Pearce, Derek Jacobi, Timothy Spall, Michael Gambon Historical Drama The story of Britain’s King George VI and his attempts—with the help of an unorthodox therapist—to overcome his speech impediment to become the wartime voice of his people. An improbable subject becomes a magnificently enjoyable and moving film experience that needs to be seen. Rated R

Megamind JJJ

(Voices) Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, David Cross, Brad Pitt Animated Superhero Spoof A super villain finds life without point or meaning when he vanquishes

(Voices) Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi, Donna Muprhy, Ron Perlman, M.C. Gainey Animated Fairy Tale Animated variation on the “Rapunzel” fairy tale. A largely successful, charming, beautifully made animated film that is neither too smart for its own good, nor too gooey.

Rated PG

The Tourist JJJ

Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff, Rufus Sewell Would-be Romantic Thriller The Story An American tourist meets a mysterious woman on a train and finds himself plunged into a web of intrigue.

It ought to be an effervescent bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne, but this supposed romantic thriller is more flat ginger ale than anything else.

Neither the stars nor the scenery can save it from tedium. Rated PG-13

TRON: Legacy JJJJ

Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, Michael Sheen Sci-Fi/Action A young man—in an attempt to track down his long-lost father—gets trapped in a digital world. Short on plot, but heavy on style— and less corny than the original—the movie manages to be engaging, thanks, in part, to a good performance by Jeff Bridges. Rated PG

True Grit JJJJJ

Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper Western/Drama A young girl, a drunken U.S. Marshal and a self-satisfied Texas Ranger pursue the murderer of the girl’s father into Indian Territory. A stunner of an entertaining movie from the Coen Brothers—one of their best and one of the best films of the year. Rated PG-13

Yogi Bear J

Dan Aykroyd (voice), Justin Timberlake (voice), Anna Faris, Tom Cavanagh, T.J. Miller, Andrew Daly Semi-Animated Kiddie Cash Grab A greedy mayor wants to sell off Jellystone Park to logging interests. A hardly inspired TV cartoon is turned into an even less inspired feature film. Rated PG

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lookhere Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss out on Cranky Hankeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s online-only weekly columns â&#x20AC;&#x153;Screening Roomâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weekly Reeler,â&#x20AC;? plus extended reviews of special showings, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Elitist Bastards Go to the Moviesâ&#x20AC;? podcast, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews â&#x20AC;&#x201D; all at mountainx. com/movies. speech â&#x20AC;&#x201D; beautifully underscored with the second movement of Beethovenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Symphony No. 7 â&#x20AC;&#x201D; turns out to be a scene of intensely emotional drama, no matter how corny that may sound. As entertainment and as one of the warmest and most human films, this is the essential Christmas movie. Movie-wise, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not going to get a better present this season.

And though the film is R rated â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Logueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s method includes swearing â&#x20AC;&#x201D; bear in mind that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solely on the basis of language. Rated R for some language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Saturday (Christmas Day) at The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 and Fine Arts Theatre.

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most illustrious and oh-so-right cast imaginable is simply an unbeatable blend. Few films so deftly walk the line between art film and crowd-pleaser as this one.

The fact-based story is all about the stammer of Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s King George VI (Firth), who was placed on the throne when King Edward VIII (Guy Pearce) abdicated in order to marry the American divorcĂŠe Wallis Simpson (TV and stage actress Eve Best). While itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s common knowledge that George VI stuttered badly, the story of the efforts of controversial speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) to help him â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and the Kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s odd-couple friendship with Logue â&#x20AC;&#x201D; has been largely unknown until now.

Screenwriter Seidler (himself having overcome a stammer) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; who had access to Logueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s notes â&#x20AC;&#x201D; had long wanted to tell the story, but waited till the Queen Mother died to do so.

The central drama of the film concerns George VI giving his first wartime speech over the radio. Now, none of this may sound like the most interesting story in the world, but donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be fooled. As presented in the film, this is a warm and compelling drama filled with humanity and the happy knack for being moving and funny at the same time. The main characters â&#x20AC;&#x201D; George VI, Logue and Queen Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; are wellrounded and feel essentially real. Fortunately, the cast is more than equal to the task at hand.

And while Firth and Rush deserve all the accolades theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve received â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and will yet receive â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Bonham Carter ought not be overlooked.

Since she has the role of the one character most of us remember, hers may be the trickiest role.

It takes very little screen time to fully believe she could age into the Queen Mother we came to know.

The film opens with George VI â&#x20AC;&#x201D; then Duke of York â&#x20AC;&#x201D; disastrously attempting to deliver a radio speech at Wembley in 1925, establishing his problem and the conflict it sets up between himself and his father, George V (Michael Gambon). The story then jumps to the 1930s and Queen Elizabethâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x201D; then Duchess of York â&#x20AC;&#x201D; somewhat desperate attempt to find a speech therapist who can actually help her husband. Official efforts have failed â&#x20AC;&#x201D; one â&#x20AC;&#x153;expertâ&#x20AC;? nearly chokes George by making him try to talk with a mouthful of marbles. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It cured Demosthenes,â&#x20AC;? he assures them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;That was in ancient Greece. Has it worked on anyone since?â&#x20AC;? inquires Elizabeth.

This leads her to the controversial (â&#x20AC;&#x153;not my favorite wordâ&#x20AC;?) Australian Logue, whose methods â&#x20AC;&#x201D; learned in the field with shellshocked soldiers, as it turns out â&#x20AC;&#x201D; are an unorthodox blend of psychiatry and unusual techniques. His insistence on being on equal footing prove troublesome â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he calls the future king â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bertieâ&#x20AC;? and wants to be called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lionelâ&#x20AC;? in kind â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and his attempts to probe the root of the problem psychologically are resisted. However, he achieves results no one else has and George winds up â&#x20AC;&#x201D; against his will â&#x20AC;&#x201D; becoming friends with the man.

The film is a beautiful mixture of fact, supposition, historical name-dropping, reverence and irreverence (in about equal measure), and probably a degree of outright fantasy. But what matters is that it works. The climactic

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How Do You Know J

Director: James L. Brooks (Spanglish) Players: Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson, Jack Nicholson, Kathryn Hahn Theoretical Romcom-Dram Rated PG-13

The Story: A woman whose pro softball career is over has to choose between a pathologically unfaithful pro baseball player and a nice guy who might be going to jail for corporate fraud.

Rent Shop Space by the Hour, Day, Week, Month

The Lowdown: Flat, uninspired, uninvolving, unfunny, unromantic and mostly just unlikable.

No, the title of James L. Brooksâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; How Do You Know doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a question mark. Why? I have no earthly idea. I also have no earthly idea why this spectacularly uninvolving movie was made in the first place. In fact, halfway through I asked my viewing partner, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do you care at all about any of these people?â&#x20AC;? He admitted that he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll go further: I had more emotional investment in Yogi Bear. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sad. And Yogi Bear wasted 36 minutes less of my time. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not so sad. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to say what is wrong with the film, simply because thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost nothing right with it.

Reese Witherspoon stars as Lisa, a 31-yearold professional softball player whose life is turned around when she finds herself cut from the team. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not unreasonable, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s really as far as Brooksâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; screenplay goes in defining her: washed-up ballplayer â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I mean, apart from the fact that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perky Reese Witherspoon. (Morning Glory was much better at handling similar material.) Lisa ends up in an odd relationship with pro baseball player Matty (Owen Wilson), who is the very definition of Mr. Casual Sex. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not clear why she ends up in this relationship, but the script says

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startingwednesday LITTLE FOCKERS

All the Fockers and their relatives are back for another round with Little Fockers, wherein, it seems, Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) is readying himself to appoint Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) his successor as family patriarch (whatever that means). OK, here’s the deal: It has gone largely unreviewed, the buzz isn’t good and the trailer looks worse than not good. Even though it’s got Stiller, De Niro, Owen Wilson, Barbra Streisand and Dustin Hoffman, they’ve all made stinkers

before (Wilson has one out currently). This just looks like desperation galloping straight for us. Look, you’ve got True Grit opening the same day, you get The King’s Speech and I Love You, Phillip Morris on Christmas. You’ve still got Black Swan. Why are you even considering this? Because it looks less ghastly than Gulliver’s Travels doesn’t cut it as an answer. (PG-13)

TRUE GRIT

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

startingsaturday GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

Jack Black — in 3-D no less — in Gulliver’s Travels. Could work, you say? Maybe. The presence of Emily Blunt may help, you think.

Well, maybe and maybe not. And then came that trailer with some of the cheesiest greenscreen work this side of a first-year film course — not to mention a spectacular dearth of amusement. Bert I. Gordon giant insect movies from the 1950s look no worse. On top of this, what do we find? Why, that it hasn’t

she does — after a good deal of tedious vacillating on her part.

In the meantime, the good-natured corporate guy, George (Paul Rudd), who once called her to tell her he wasn’t going to ask her out on a blind date (trust me, this would require more explanation than it’s worth), gets dumped by his girlfriend when he innocently lands in legal trouble. After George bumps into Lisa — and since Paul Rudd is a dutiful actor who has read the script — he opts to call her and actually ask her out. At this point, Lisa and Matty have yet to become ostensibly exclusive, so she opts to go out with George.

They eat dinner in enforced (by Lisa) silence; this is a godsend compared to the scenes where they talk. Naturally, all of this evolves into a romcom triangle. However, if you’re expecting something like Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001), do yourself a favor and just watch that instead.

The film lurches and flips and flops (mostly flops) as the romances complicate themselves in various uninteresting ways and George’s life spirals ever downward with the help of his scheming father, Charles (Jack Nicholson in perhaps the most unsalvageable role of his career). Charles, you see, is determined to manipulate his son into doing a stretch in the big house in order to keep himself out of it. I suppose this could be played for laughs, or it could be played for drama. Here, it’s just more clutter to keep the movie plodding for a torturous two hours. Long before the end, I would have been perfectly fine seeing them all perish

been screened for critics. Shall we merely note that this is not looking in the least bit promising? Of course, there’s the fact that it’s PG rated and therefore family friendly, giving it a slight holiday boost. (PG)

I LOVE YOU, PHILLIP MORRIS See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

THE KING’S SPEECH

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

in some nasty accident. Is it really that bad?

Let me put it this way: I found myself wishing I was watching one of Nancy Meyers’ bloated “romantic tribulations of the rich and vapid” outbursts instead. So, yeah, it’s that bad. Rated PG-13 for some strong language. Re-rated from R on appeal and slight editing. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande.

I Love You, Phillip Morris JJJJJ

Director: Glenn Ficarra and John Requa Players: Jim Carrey, Ewan McGregor, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro, Antoni Corone, Brennan Brown Fact-Based Romantic Comedy/Drama Rated R

The Story: A fact-based story of the romance between a con man and the young man he meets in prison.

The Lowdown: An unusual and very good movie that will ruffle some folks’ feathers, owing to its unabashed gay content, but if that isn’t a problem for you, catch this one.

And here’s something to frighten the horses and worry nervous straight boys: the longdelayed Sundance hit I Love You, Phillip Morris finally comes to town — on Christmas Day, no less. In case you don’t know, the film — which

62 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

played well with both gay and straight viewers at Sundance — is a decidedly unusual romantic comedy starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor as gay lovers who meet in prison. The most outlandish thing about it, however, is that it’s essentially true. The film’s problem has been — and will continue to be, I fear — just exactly how to market it. It’s not just the gay aspect of the film, but also the outrageousness of the story, the stylized direction and writing, and the inability to quite pigeonhole the film. Yes, it’s a romantic comedy (and a much better one than any straight one going right now — or all year, for that matter).

It’s also a drama and ultimately a tragedy of sorts.

The gay element is certainly — and absurdly, in this day — an issue. The film is never graphic in what it shows (though some people head for the hills the minute two men kiss), but it’s not in the least bit reticent when it comes to talking about it. In fact, one of the movie’s funniest scenes involves a guided tour through a prison where it’s made bluntly clear that oral sex is invariably an option in almost any situation you can think of behind bars. Know this going in, because I don’t want letters about how I’ve recommended this film to unwary viewers. (And if you go in simply based on the star rating, that’s your problem.)

Carrey — in a bold performance — stars as Steven Russell, an upright, uptight, God-fearing, church-going police officer with a squeaky clean (and very Jesus-centric) wife, Debbie (Leslie Mann). Steven is also gay, and one day he simply decides to drop the pretense and live what he envisions as the “gay lifestyle,” which in his mind means being a flaming stereotype.

This nets him a flashy Miami Beach apartment, a snazzy wardrobe and a hot Latin boyfriend (TV actor Rodrigo Santoro). The problem is this is all very expensive and he turns to credit-card fraud, hot checks and general conman schemes that land him in prison. Prison, however, is where he meets the great love of his life, Phillip Morris (McGregor), a sweet, guileless Southern boy he is determined to take care of — by any means necessary.

The story follows his attempts, which means more cons, more deception and more legal trouble. Some of it is very funny. Some of it is sad. Some of it is rather pathetic. What grounds it is less the love Steven has for Phillip (since his ability to express it is mostly through conspicuous consumption that requires scams and deceptions), but Phillip’s unquestionable — and up to a point, unquestioning — love for Steven. By necessity, the story is complex, but the film is really more about the romance — and about a man trying to live as a gay man by subscribing to the stereotypes of society. In that regard, the film is more daring than any other. And it doesn’t stop there, because the film pulls its own con by subverting the oldest ploy in the gay-story handbook (you’ll have to find that out for yourself). But in the end, it’s a romance. And, yes, I do recommend it for the adults among us. Rated R for strong sexual content, profanity and mild violence. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Saturday (Christmas Day) at The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14.

TRON: Legacy JJJJ

Director: Joseph Kosinski Players: Garrett Hedlund, Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, Michael Sheen Sci-Fi/Action Rated PG

The Story: A young man — in an attempt to track down his long-lost father — gets trapped in a digital world.

The Lowdown: Short on plot, but heavy on style — and less corny than the original — the movie manages to be engaging, thanks, in part, to a good performance by Jeff Bridges.

Despite its standing as a cult classic and its place in history for introducing the world of film to computer animation — not to mention the nostalgia some have for it — the original TRON (1982) isn’t a very good movie. It’s full-on ’80s live-action Disney, with flat direction and a hokey score. The film also hasn’t aged well, from the goofy, naïve way computers are thought to work down to the foam-rubber suits everyone wears. So what does 28 years and 10 times the budget do for a sequel? TRON: Legacy offers some of the same problems, but handled in a less corny way, and all wrapped up in a really slick package.

TRON: Legacy should get points simply for not going the remake route and instead being a fullfledged sequel. We find out in the film’s opening that after the events of the original film, Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges, reprising his role) became a software mogul, before suddenly disappearing 20 years ago and leaving the future of his company in the hands of his adolescent son Sam. We meet Sam (Garrett Hedlund, Death Sentence) in the present. Sam has apparently grown up to be an unmotivated rich kid. When his dad’s best friend Alan (Bruce Boxleitner, who played the same role in the original) receives a mysterious message from Kevin’s old arcade, Sam goes to investigate, only to find himself accidentally sucked into The Grid, a digital world Kevin had been building as some type of utopia. The problem is The Grid has been taken over by Kevin’s program CLU (played by a youthful, CGI version of Bridges), who, with his need to rid it of imperfections, has taken fascistic control of The Grid.

Most of the plot revolves around Sam attempting to escape The Grid with his father (yes, this is where Kevin disappeared to 20 years ago) and a program named Quorra (Olivia Wilde, The Next Three Days). For the most part, the film is like the original, but more stylized and sophisticated.

The religion-versus-science bent of the original has been built into what could be seen as a thinly veiled allegory of the Holy Trinity (this is never really developed), mixed with the sci-fi topics of dystopian societies and the dangers of fascism.

The things that remain iconic about the first TRON — the light cycles and identity discs — are all there, along with a handful of in-references that are thankfully never overstated. The film does assume you have experience with the original, meaning the importance of some plot points could be easily lost on newcomers — which is no good in a film that’s short on plot to begin with, but I can’t help but kind of admire it.

filmsociety Black ChristmaS JJJJ

Director: Bob Clark (A Christmas Story) Players: Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, John Saxon, Andrea Martin Slasher Horror Rated R Merry Christmas from the Thursday Horror Picture Show with Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (1974) (yes, the same Bob Clark who made A Christmas Story (1983)). What better way to spend the night before Christmas Eve than with the original “slasher” picture? Yes, Black Christmas pretty much started it all — predating Halloween (1978), Friday the 13th (1980) and A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). Though it flopped in 1974 (despite being rechristened Silent Night, Deadly Night, so it wouldn’t be mistaken for a blaxploitation picture), it has come to be recognized as the groundbreaking minor classic that it is. The plot is simple — sorority girls being offed one-by-one by a crazed killer in the house — but the execution is surprisingly clever, creepy and restrained.

The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen Black Christmas Thursday, Dec. 23, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville. Hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

The Thin Man JJJJJ

Director: W.S. Van Dyke Players: William Powell, Myrna Loy, Maureen O’Sullivan, Nat Pendleton, Minna Gombell, Porter Hall Comedy/Mystery Rated NR For New Year’s week, the Asheville Film Society has picked W.S. Van Dyke’s The Thin Man (1934), a film that covers both Christmas and New Year’s Day. This is the first — and easily the best — of the famous comedy/mystery series starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as the tippling married sleuths Nick and Nora Charles. Not overproduced like the second film and not prone to the increasing cuteness of the ones that followed, this first entry is just right.

It’s still fresh — though its mystery may not be — thanks to its stars and because, now as then, a married couple who have a good time and enjoy each other’s company is something rarely seen in movies. It’s fast, funny, completely unpretentious and totally delightful.

The Asheville Film Society will screen The Thin Man Tuesday, Dec. 28, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville. Hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Hanke is artistic director of the Asheville Film Society.

For Cranky Hanke’s full reviews of these movies, visit www.mountainx.com/movies.

But really, the story isn’t all that important.

The movie is meant to be a big-budget popcorn spectacle. In this regard, the film mostly works.

First-time director Joseph Kosinski cut his teeth making car ads and video games, which makes sense since TRON: Legacy looks and feels like one long Lexus commercial. As awful as that sounds, if you’re in the mood for it, there is a kind of appeal. For the most part (aside from the phony-looking, occasionally bobbleheaded CGI Jeff Bridges), the special effects are top-notch.

The score by electronic duo Daft Punk — which mixes electronic music with orchestral arrangements — works well at setting the futuristic mood of the movie. Overall, the film is a shiny, slick, Day-Glo vision of the world to come.

It should be noted that the film moves quite deliberately and methodically (which is probably why the action scenes come off as somewhat clunky), calling to mind Kubrick not only in the way it moves, but also in the way it looks (for example, Kevin’s hide-out resembles the old man’s room at the end of 2001). While the pacing is sure to turn a lot of people off, I found it to work because so much attention is paid to it.

But as a result, characterization takes a back seat (not surprising with this type of movie), which makes some of the performances that much more impressive. Garrett Hedlund in the lead does little more than act as your stock hero, but Jeff Bridges, playing a sort of burnt-out old hippie (think a more sophisticated version of “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski (1998)), does a better job than the movie probably deserves — the fact that he got any kind of emotional reaction out of me in his final scene is astonishing.

Plus, it’s not every day you get to see Michael Sheen gnawing the scenery, channeling Ziggy Stardust-era David Bowie — right down to the mullet and forehead symbol. I would never call TRON: Legacy a great film, but given the occasional surprises it holds, the movie is worthwhile as entertainment — provided you’re on its wavelength. Rated PG for sequences of sci-fi action violence and brief mild language. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

Here’s to a Healthy New Year!

Mountain Xpress is publishing our Double Wellness Issues on January 26 and February 2 Contact advertise@mountainx.com or 251-1333 for more details mountainx.com • DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 63

Yogi Bear J

Director: Eric Brevig (Journey to the Center of the Earth) Players: Dan Aykroyd (voice), Justin Timberlake (voice), Anna Faris, Tom Cavanagh, T.J. Miller, Andrew Daly Semi-Animated Kiddie Cash Grab Rated PG

The Story: A greedy mayor wants to sell off Jellystone Park to logging interests.

The Lowdown: A hardly inspired TV cartoon is turned into an even less inspired feature film.

I’m inclined — probably for my own amusement, since there was otherwise none to be found here — to view Eric Brevig’s Yogi Bear (in 3-D) as possibly being a subversive film. How so? Well, it all goes back to that early poster — you know, the one that shows a glassy-eyed Yogi standing behind a wide-eyed Boo Boo with the tagline, “Great things come in bears” (the one that caused such rude Internet mirth). Now, let us consider that “bear” is slang for “hairy gay man.” Then there’s the movie itself. I haven’t encountered such a fixation on baskets since the Village People were popular. The only thing the title character thinks about is baskets. He obsesses on them. He even builds a device called the “Basket Nabber,” and

64 DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 • mountainx.com

at one point Ranger Smith (TV actor Tom Cavanagh) admiringly observes, “That bear sure knows how to grab a basket.” Now, I ask you — what is one to make of all this?

OK, so if you don’t like that reading of the movie, what are you left with? Well, not much. You’ve got CGI versions of a pair of old TV cartoon characters thrust into a story that has about as much material — and possibly less depth — than one of the five-tosix-minute cartoons from the late 1950s. The movie certainly makes less sense than the cartoons. Evil Mayor Brown (Andrew Daly, a kind of bargain-basement Bruce Davison) plans on selling Jellystone Park to loggers, and Ranger Smith has only a short time to make the park profitable or face the incommodious prospect of taking up residency in the street. So the big question is how to save Jellystone. That’s the crux of the plot.

The bright idea — mostly put forth by Smith’s love interest, visiting documentary filmmaker Rachel (unbelievably played by Anna Faris) — is to attempt to cash in on the park’s 100th anniversary. Apparently, Smith is too dumb to have realized the potential of such a celebration on his own. Actually, since he seems blissfully unaware that a couple of talking bears might have some crowd appeal, that’s not hard to believe.

Then again, the promotional value of chatty bruins seems to escape everyone’s notice, so it is perhaps unfair to single out one specimen of Boobus Americanus for condemnation.

Naturally, this is not in the mayor’s best interest, so he enlists the aid of the other park ranger, Jones (an exceedingly annoying standup comic named T.J. Miller), who is hungry for Smith’s job as head ranger. This isn’t hard to understand, since Smith is pretty much a horse’s rectum in his treatment of Jones. Of course, it’s a given that Jones is even dumber than Smith, so he’s not much good at sabotage — until he dupes Yogi into helping entertain the crowds.

Mindless of the fact that a water-skiing bear might have an appeal (so long as PETA doesn’t hear of it), Smith has forbidden Yogi’s participation, but it’s not hard to convince Smith otherwise. “Comedic” disaster ensues.

Will it all work out? Well, yes, though you mayn’t immediately guess by what curious terrapin-ex-machina means. Will you care? I can’t imagine why. I suppose some may consider discovering that Boo Boo occasionally suffers from flatulence somehow edifying. It’s knowledge I could have done just fine without. If you must know, the 3-D is pretty decent — assuming you care for sodas and popcorn being spewed at you, not to mention a grub worm being discharged from Yogi’s left nostril. And Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake acquit themselves admirably as the voices of Yogi and Boo Boo. Too bad they aren’t given anything to say worth hearing.

Rated PG for some mild rude humor. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, The Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande.

marketplace realestate

Classified Advertising Sales Team: • Tim Navaille: 828-251-1333 ext.111, tnavaille@mountainx.com • Rick Goldstein: 828-251-1333 ext.123, rgoldstein@mountainx.com • Arenda Manning: 828-251-1333 ext. 138, amanning@mountainx.com

j]flYdk t jggeeYl]k t Yffgmf[]e]flk t eaf\$ Zg\q$ khajal t [dYkk]k ogjck`ghk temka[aYfk p[`Yf_] t h]l p[`Yf_] t Ymlgeglan] t kYd]k t Y\mdl Going Green: A weekly Energy & Money Saving Tip

The FAQs p.65

About Green Building

Real Estate

Homes For Sale

jobs

p.66

home

improvement

The EPA’s ENERGY STAR program offers five tips to help families stay warm, save money and fight climate change.

Assess your home at energystar. gov. Compare your home’s energy use to similar homes and get recommendations for energy-saving improvements.

Seal air leaks in your home. Sealing leaks with caulk, spray foam or weather stripping will have a significant impact on your comfort and your energy bills.

Maintain heating equipment. Check your system’s air filter monthly and change it when dirty - every three months at minimum.

Schedule a yearly checkup to make sure your system is operating at peak performance.

p.70

crossword

1000’s OF ASHEVILLE HOMES! On our user friendly property search.

New features include Google Mapping and Popular Neighborhood searches. Check it out at townandmountain.com

Vista St. Garage, basement.

Hardwood, tile, carpet,

on cul de sac, with several new houses. Reynolds schools. Priced to sell at $207,000. MLS listing, 3% A USER FRIENDLY WEBSITE! • Luxury homes • Eco-Green Homes • Condos • Foreclosures.

(828) 215-9064.

AshevilleNCRealty.com

to buyers agent. Vacant, show any time. Kathy and Tom Yurchenco 299-7502.

BACKWARDS! For our clients! (828) 713-5337. • Free expert Buyer

Asheville’s Premier Sustainable Eco-Community

provided by the WNC Green Building Council info@wncgbc.org

HEATING & AIR • PAINTING • REMODELING • KITCHENS & BATHS • LAWN & GARDN

Check it out on page 70 this week!

CONSTRUCTION • 3BR/2BA, 1560 sq.ft. 24

BENDING OVER

Look for Energy Star qualified products. The program offers other ways you can save, such as using power strips as a central turn-off point for electronics and making sure computers are powered down when not in use.

ATTENTION HOMEOWNERS

BEAUTIFUL NEW

stainless appliances, fans,

Use a programmable thermostat. Controlling your home’s temperature while you’re away or asleep can save you up to $180 in yearly energy costs.

• ROOFING & SIDING • WATERPROOFING

FLOORING • FENCES • ELECTRICAL •

p.71

$200 GIFT CERTIFICATE! Purchase a home through Appalachian Realty Associates through the end of the year and receive a $200 gift certificate from Mountain Harvest Florist and Garden Center, Hwy 74-A, Fairview. appalachianrealty.com

$335,000 • DOWNTOWN CONDO ALTERNATIVE • MONTFORD Certified Healthy Built/Energy Star home located on hidden side street, convenient to downtown. 3BR, 3BA. • Open and flexible floor plan Loaded with upgrades. • Woodfloors, granite, stainless steel, built-ins and more! Low maintenance exterior. MLS#474371. • Contact Mary: 275-2598 or Jude: 712-2552 for more information. Town and Mountain Realty.

• Affordable Home and Land Packages starting at only $145,000 • Located just five minutes west of downtown Asheville • Owner Financing available with home sites starting at only $48,000 • Several Homes Completed with Eight Lots Sold within the Last Several Months! Two New Models Under Construction Priced from $235,000.

• Lowest Municipal Taxes in Buncombe County “Intentional Community” featuring Greenhouse, Community Garden, Orchards, Vineyards Park, Social Governance, Rain Water Harvesting and Solar Generation

representation. • Search all ATTENTION HOME BUYERS! Purchase a home through Appalachian Realty Associates through the end of the year and receive a • $200 gift certificate from Mountain Harvest Florist and Garden Center, Hwy 74-A, Fairview. appalachianrealty.com

MLS listings in 1 location: www.AshevilleHolisticRealty .com • Keller Williams Professionals • Mention this ad for FREE home warranty!

79,*0:065 ,(9;/>692: Fine Grading & Site Preparation

Ecological Site Planning & Landscape Design • Excavation & Roads •Water Harvesting/ Management • Stonework • Bridges & Gazebos • Water Features • Renewable Energy

The Villages is a U.S. Green Building Council LEED® for Neighborhood Development™ registered project.

Specializing in Bridge & Roadwork P r e c i s i o n @ e a rt h a v e n . o r g

6 Celebration Place | Asheville, North Carolina 28806

828-252-7787 | www.VillagesAtCrestMountain.com Sales Office Open Mon.-Fri. -9-5 and Weekends By Appointment

mountainx.com

Brandon Greenstein • Paul Caron (828) 664-9127 | 301-7934 Co-Creating Your Natural Landscape

• DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

65

Home Services Heating & Cooling MAYBERRY HEATING AND COOLING INC • Service • Repairs • Replacements AC/Heat Pumps • Gas/Oil Furnaces • New Construction/Renovations • Gas piping. • Visa/MC/Discover.

(828) 658-9145

Kitchen & Bath ACCESSIBUILT RESIDENTIAL REMODELING Custom bath and shower/tub conversion for safety and accessibility.

• 20 years experience. • insured. Reliable. • Free inspection/estimate. (828) 283-2675. accessibuilt@ bellsouth.net

Cleaning CLEANING & ORGANIZATION SERVICES Holiday Cleaning Specials • New Years Organization Projects. Provided by a trustworthy and reliable person.

Hope2010nc@hotmail.com 276-870-8116.

General Services HOME WATER LEAKS A Problem? Excellent leak detection! Lasting correction! Experience!

References! Call 828-273-5271.

Handy Man HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 30 years professional experience. Quality, reliability. References available. Free estimates. $2 million liability insurance. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254

COMPACT COTTAGES ^ŵĂůů ŐƌĞĞŶ ĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ ƚŽ Įƚ Ăůů ďƵĚŐĞƚƐ ĂŶĚ ƐƚLJůĞƐ͘ ^ƟĐŬ ďƵŝůƚ ĂŶĚ ĨƵůůLJ ĐƵƐƚŽŵŝnjĂďůĞ͘ ϭϮϬͲϲϰϬ ƐƋ Ō͘ Ψϳ͘ϱͲϱϳŬ ͻ ŶĞƌŐLJ ĸĐŝĞŶƚ ͻ>Žǁ ŽƐƚ

828-505-7178

ǁǁǁ͘ĐŽŵƉĂĐƚĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ͘ĐŽŵ

RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. • Excellent water leak detection/correction! • Wind damaged shingle/roof repair! 38 years experience!

Responsible! Honest!

Harmonious! References!

Call Brad, you’ll be Glad!

(828) 273-5271.

Services

Education/ Tutoring HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Graduate in just 4 weeks!!

FREE Brochure. Call now. 1800-532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www.continentalacad emy.com (AAN CAN)

from $ϵϵŬ

66

GREAT OFFICE SPACE Fully furnished office space.

South Asheville. Space can be broken into 500, 1000, 1500 square feet. $10/$13 per sq ft. murray33@charter.net 828-712-7685. murray33@charter.net OFFICES FOR RENT IN BLACK MOUNTAIN Various sizes and prices from $200 to $275 a month, including utilities. Five offices total.

Shared waiting room. Call 828-271-4004

Rentals

Computer CHRISTOPHER’S COMPUTERS • Computer Slow? Call Christopher’s Computers at 828-6709800 and let us help you with PC and Macintosh issues: networking, virus/malware removal, tutoring, upgrades, custombuilt new computers, etc.

ChristophersComputers.com

Home PERSONAL COOK AT YOUR DOOR Healthy Food • Great Company • What You Want To Eat To Feel Great.

Serving Asheville and Buncombe County.

828-424-7173.

Caregivers COMPANION • CAREGIVER • LIVE-IN Alzheimer’s experienced. • CarePartners Hospice recommended. • Nonsmoker, with cat, seeks live-in position. • References. • Arnold, (828) 273-2922.

Commercial Listings

Commercial Property HENDERSONVILLE. Urban flex space on historic 7th Ave. Live, work. 9,000 sq. ft. for only $405,000. Bank owned. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024,

Commercial/Busi ness Rentals

>ĂŶĚͬ,ŽŵĞ ƉĂĐŬĂŐĞƐ

CREATIVE SPACE FOR RENT Anam Cara Collective has the perfect space for rent for rehearsals, workshops, small performances, classes and more! 828-545-3861 or ehuntley11@yahoo.com

$265 AFFORDABLE WORK SPACE Views of Town Mountain. Available immediately! Please call 828-333-2131 for showings.

Apartments For Rent 1BR, 1BA HENDERSONVILLE • 1225 Highland, $475.

Hardwood Floors, Elevator.

828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com 1-BR, 1BA SOUTH • 90 Beale St. Central heat/AC, dishwasher. $565/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1, 2, 3 BEDROOM APARTMENTS From $525$1500. • Huge selection! • Pet friendly. (828) 2519966.

Alpha-Real-Estate.com 1BA/STUDIO • 85 Merrimon. Fall Special! All utilities included. $500/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA DOWNTOWN • 68 N. French Broad, $625/month. Hardwood floors, nice view.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA EAST • 7 Violet Hills. Coin Op laundry, pets ok. $535/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA HENDERSONVILLE • 2010 Laurel Park. Private entry, coin-op laundry. $510/month.

828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA HENDERSONVILLE • 827 4th Ave, $445/month.

Hardwood floors, Pets okay.

828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 12 Golf. $655/month, Hardwood floors, sunporch.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 •

1BR, 1BA SOUTH • 30 Allen. Patio, A/C, heatpump, $545/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1-2BA NORTH • 265 Charlotte St. Hardwood floors, dishwasher. $685$860/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5 BA NORTH • 16 Glenway. $730/month.

Dishwasher, garage.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5BA NORTH • 30 Clairmont. A/C, great location. Coin-op laundry. $635/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 42 Gracelyn. Porch, heat included. $795/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 91 Edwin. $775/month. Great location, Central AC. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA NORTH • 27 Spooks Mill. Deck, mountain views. $975/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR/1BA NORTH 20 Brookdale. A/C, W/D hookups. $595/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA ARDEN • 8202 Terra. A/C, walk-in closet. $795/month. 828-2531517. www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR/1BA NORTH Westall Apts. great location, W/D hookups. $725/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com CANDLER • Large 2BR, lots of closet space. Electric heat, water provided $550/month. Call 828-2530758. Carver Realty.

GREAT LOCATION • 2BR, 2.5BA $900/month. North Asheville one mile from downtown. Two story, hardwoods, 960 square feet, built 2004, heating/AC, washer/dryer, deck, parking. Pet friendly. Joel (828) 712-0286.

SOUTH • Forestdale. 1BR, 1BA. D/W, storage. $590/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com SPACIOUS APARTMENT, MIDTOWN ASHEVILLE Great location, hardwood floors. $975 per month includes utilities, washer/dryer . Call or email for appointment.

252-8718, jtferree@mac.com

mountainx.com

WEST ASHEVILLE • 2 and 3 bedroom unfurnished apartments for $649 and $679/month in West Asheville. Water, garbage included. On bus line. Call 828-252-9882.

WEST-ACTON WOODS APTS • 2BR, 2BA, 1100 sq.ft. $775/month. Includes water and garbage pickup.

Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent 2BR, 2.5BA WEST • 445 Sandhill. $995/month.

Hardwood floors, fireplace.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

Homes For Rent $1800 • 4BR, 2.5BA Beautiful Ranch, downtown Weaverville. Wooded backyard w/stream.

Available today. Rent or Lease to own.

(828) 275-4037.

CENTRAL REAL ESTATE SERVICES AVAILABLE • Rentals • Rental Management • Sales • Listings. • The City Solution! 828.210.2222.

AshevilleCityRealEstate.co m EAST • 2BR 1BA House near Warren Wilson College;. Heat pump. $650/month. Call 2530758. Carver Realty.

FAIRVIEW • GREAT COUNTRY HOME! Spacious living, 3BR, 2BA, great deck overlooking large backyard.

Huge detached double garage and fenced yard. $895/month. Call (828) 215-2865 for showings.

LOG HOME FOR RENT EAST ASHEVILLE 1200sqft Nice deck/porch/garage Central HVAC built 1998 2BR/2BA. Hwy70 near I40 exit 55. Pictures online. Call Mike 828-423-6251. mikeberlin@bclip.com

1ST CALL US! 2, 3 and 4BR homes from $700-2500. • Pet friendly. • Huge selection! (828) 251-9966 Alpha-Real-Estate.com

WEST 2BR, 1BA • Hardwood floors, heat pump. $650/month. Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

2BR 1BA HOUSE BALSAM Remodeled well kept private. 3 miles to Sylva. Detached storage, workshop and 1-car garage. $750/month + $750 deposit. Dog OK. Nonsmokers only. 919-8120829.

A BEACH HOUSE AT FOLLY 20 minutes from historic downtown Charleston, SC. • The legendary dog-friendly Rosie’s Ocean View and Kudzu’s Cottage, across the street from the beach!Visit www.kudzurose.com or call (404) 617-1146.

2BR, 1BA WEST • 37 Sandhill. Yard, basement. $925/month. $925/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 277-1492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

2BR, 2.5BA OAKLEY • 20 Lamar. Deck, fenced yard. $1,015/month. 828-2531517. www.leslieandassoc.com

Roommates

Employment

General $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 258-8331.

Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 253-3311.

Vacation Rentals

2BR, 2BA NORTH • 68 Murdock. $945/month.

Basement, fenced yard.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.co m. (AAN CAN)

3BR, 3BA NORTH • 28 Wild Cherry, $1,185/month.

Basement, porch.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

Don’t see what you’re looking for? Please go to www.mountainx.com for additional listings.

BUNGALOW • HAW CREEK Excellent condition: 2BR, 1BA, den, full basement, TED hardwood floors, REN WD. Gas heat. $795/month plus deposit. 298-1227.

SEEKING FEMALE HOUSEMATE Seeking mature/responsible/conside rate female housemate.

Really nice house (near Fun Depot). Large bedroom/private bathroom $450/month. 1/2 utilities.

Deposit/references. No smoking. 778-6005

ROOMMATES.COM • Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of a mouse!

Visit http://www.roommates.com (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES • Call (828) 225-6122 or visit: biltmore.com HIRE QUALITY EMPLOYEES “Our employment advertisements with the Mountain Xpress garner far more educated and qualified applicants than any other publication we have used. The difference is visible in the phone calls, applications and resumes.”

Howard Stafford, Owner, Princess Anne Hotel. • Thank you, Howard. Your business can benefit by advertising for your next employee in Mountain Xpress Classifieds. Call 251-1333.

KITCHEN DELIVERY AID • Do you have experience in food service? Would you like to work Monday-Friday with an organization dedicated to helping children succeed? Eliada Homes is in search of someone to assist in our kitchen. Duties would include stocking, cleaning, assisting with food preparation as needed, and packing and delivering food to all areas of our 200 acre campus. Must be 21 or older with a clean driving record. Hours are MondayFriday from approximately 9am-2:30pm, and job pays minimum wage. Please send in a copy of your resume to eweaver@eliada.org PAID IN ADVANCE • Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home!

Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.n et (AAN CAN) PAID IN ADVANCE Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home!

Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.n et (AAN CAN)

Skilled Labor/ Trades MASTER DECORATIVE PAINTER AND CRAFTSMEN Master decorative painter and craftsman recently relocated to Asheville and looking for local work. I specialize in fine decorative finishes, e.g., Italian plasters, multilayer glazing, faux stone and wood graining, as well as furniture and cabinetry refinishing. I have worked throughout the US and have an extensive portfolio and website. Sean Catinella seancstudio@gmail.com www.seancstudio.com.

828-423-3023 seancstudio@gmail.com www.seancstudio.com

NOW HIRING

Earn $65k, $50k, $40k GM, Co-Manager, Assistant Manager We currently have managers making this and need more for expansion.

One year restaurant management experience required.

Fax resume to 336-431-0873

Administrative/ Office ACCOUNTING ASSISTANT MANNA FoodBank is seeking a part-time (20 hours per week) Accounting Assistant to assist the Director of Finance and Human Resources with multiple duties related to Accounting and Finance.

Extensive education and/or extensive experience are required. Experience in fund accounting software systems for non-profits is preferred and proficiency in MS Excel and Word is required. Please see complete job description at www.mannafoodbank.org. before applying. Only applicants meeting requirements of position will be considered. Deadline for application is December 17 2010. E-mail or fax resume and cover letter to Becky Donald at bdonald@feedingamerica.or g FAX 828-299-8105 (No phone calls please) EOE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT FOR NONPROFIT Part-time in Weaverville. Please see job description and application instructions at www.aflnc.org/employment.

Applications must be received by 12/24/10.

MUNICIPAL BILLING CLERK The Woodfin Sanitary Water & Sewer District is now accepting applications for the position of Billing Clerk. This is a full-time position with benefits. Applicants should have experience in customer service, handling cash, entering data, and similar administrative responsibilities. Strong computer skills are required. A complete job description and application for employment can be obtained at www.woodfinwater.com or in person at 122 Elkwood Avenue, Asheville, NC. Resumes will be accepted; however, all candidates must complete a District application. Resumes received without a completed application will be rejected. All applications must be received by December 23, 2010.

Completed applications can be mailed to: WSWSD, PO Box 8452, Asheville NC 28814, or scanned and sent via e-mail to frontdesk@woodfinwater.co m with “billing clerk” in the subject heading. The Woodfin Sanitary Water & Sewer District is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Families Together Inc. is now hiring a Part-time Administrative Assistant. • Clerical duties include: filing, typing generating reports. • Knowledge of mental health preferred. Email resume to humanresources@ familiestogether.net

Salon/ Spa A STYLIST Needed for the Holidays and beyond in a busy North Asheville salon.

• Organic products with a serene atmosphere. • Call The Water Lily Wellness Salon, 505-3288, swing by 7 Beaverdam Road, or send resume to info@waterlilysalon.com

Sales/ Marketing COMMUNICATIONS INTERNSHIP: SOCIAL MEDIA AMBASSADOR FOR WORLD PEACE Downtown agency in need of interns to assist in office administration, PR communications and event production. For details visit: www.sensiblecity.com

JOIN THE ECOMOM TEAM We are successful Moms who are choosing to work an eco-friendly marketing business from home. We are looking for associates in the WNC area.Visit www.southeastappalachian ecoteam.com or call 828-246-3776.

*

Hotel/ Hospitality FRONT DESK STAFF NEEDED AT DOWNTOWN INN Desk Clerks needed at Downtown Inn. Most be flexible for 1st and 2nd shift. Apply at 120 Patton Ave. jolinerobinson@hotmail.com downtowninnandsuites.com

Medical/ Health Care GIVENS ESTATES ACCEPTING CNA APPLICATIONS Givens Estates hiring CNAs for 1st shift (6a-2p). $9.50 entry and up DOE. 771-2230. ahstaton@givensestates.org www.givensestates.org

(* pending state approval)

Join Our Web Team!

Mountain Xpress is on a mission to empower our community using new media.

We want to build awesome tools to make this happen. Do you have the ideas and web skills to help get us there? Know someone who does?

If so, we want to hear from you.

Some Of Our Current Job Openings: Chef de Cuisine • Restaurant Supervisor Housekeeping • Lead Linen Aide • Laundry Mechanic Massage Therapist • Inventory Specialist • Boutique Consultant Groundskeeper • Spa & Pool Maintenance Technician Server • Dining Room Attendant • In Room Dining Captain Front Desk Agent • Floral & Visual Design Supervisor

Skills needed: HTML, CSS, Javascript are needed, PHP and knowledge of Expression Engine would be a big bonus.

Our web team is growing. As part of this team, you will be a central player in creating new initiatives to serve the WNC community.You will be working to bring multimedia, social media and communication tools to not only Xpress journalists, but the community as a whole.

SHARE IN OUR MANY BENEFITS INCLUDING: • Medical,dental and vision coverage including domestic partner • Flex-account spending for medical and dependent care • holiday pay • sick leave; • Sports Complex access • free on-property weekly physician assistant visit • employee recognition • 401(k) • Grove Park Inn Retirement Plan • life insurance • paid vacation • free meals in the employee cafeteria • free uniforms and laundering services • educational reimbursement • employee discounts on guest rooms, dining, floral, Spa, golf and retail discounts at area businesses • free and discounted visits to area attractions.

For a complete list of our openings and to apply online, go to www.groveparkinn.com. Or, apply in person, Mon-Fri, 9am-6-pm, Sat. 8am-4pm with Human Resources at 290 Macon Avenue, Asheville, NC 28804.

828.252.2711x2082. EOE Drug Free Workplace.

Send cover letter, resume, links to your work, references and any questions you may have to webmaster@mountainx.com

www.mountainx.com mountainx.com

• DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

67

Human Services

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Families Together Inc. is now hiring a Part-time Administrative Assistant. • Clerical duties include: filing, typing generating reports. • Knowledge of mental health preferred. Email resume to humanresources@ familiestogether.net CAREGIVER • CNA POSITIONS The world’s trusted source of nonmedical home care and companionship services, including personal care.

Home Instead Senior Care. homeinstead.com/159

CHILD PSYCHIATRIST Families Together Inc. is now hiring for a child Psychiatrist. Families Together Inc. is a privately owned agency, providing mental health services to the Western North Carolina Community. Contact Dan Zorn, CEO at dzorn@ familiestogether.net

FAMILIES TOGETHER INC. Due to continuous growth in WNC, Families Together, Inc is now hiring licensed professionals and Qualified Professionals in Buncombe, McDowell, Madison, Rutherford, Henderson, and Transylvania Counties. • Qualified candidates will include • LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or LPCA’s and Bachelor’s and Master’s Qualified Professionals. • FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. • www.familiestogether.net • Candidates should email resumes to humanresources@ familiestogether.net

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CHAIRPERSON, MEDICAL ASSISTING • Full-time, 12 months. • Instruct all levels of courses assigned within the Medical Assisting curriculum.

Responsible for program effectiveness, including student learning outcomes, organization, administration, continuous review, planning and development, marketing, student recruitment and maintaining program accreditation. Supervise students in classroom and lab environments. Develop teaching materials and activities to improve instructional quality of the program. Provide supervision and instruction for day and/or evening students and faculty as assigned. Maintain professional certification and seek opportunities for professional development.

Perform duties as assigned by the Division Dean. • Minimum Requirements: (1) AAS degree in Medical Assisting (2) Current credentials as a Certified Medical Assistant through the American Association of Medical Assistants (3) Instruction in educational theory and techniques (3) A minimum of three years work experience healthcare including a minimum of 40 hours of experience in an ambulatory healthcare setting performing or observing administrative and clinical procedures performed by medical assistants. (4) A minimum of 1 year teaching experience at the college level in an accredited Medical Assisting program (5) Ability to utilize computer technology to deliver classroom instruction and manage related activities (6) Computer literacy skills and a willingness to teach online or hybrid courses. (7) Current certification in CPR. • Preferred Requirements: (1) Bachelor Degree in related healthcare arena (2) Experience as a Department Chair person in an accredited Medical Assisting program (3) Experience teaching online courses (4) Knowledge of the policies and procedures of the Commission on Accreditation of Allied Health Education Programs as they apply to Medical Assisting. Salary Range: $49,932 to $54,156 • Review date December 10, 2010 but open until filled. • Starting Date: January 3, 2011. To be considered for any position at A-B Tech, applicants must submit a complete A-B Tech application, which includes two (2) completed reference forms, transcripts (if applicable) and a letter of application. It is the applicant’s responsibility to ensure the application contains all required documents. All requested information must be received by the deadline date. Incomplete applications may not be eligible for consideration. abtech.edu/jobs/

FUNDRAISING AND MARKETING COORDINATOR Exciting opportunity with the region’s foremost youth mentoring program. Two to three years experience in event planning and marketing required. A Bachelor’s degree, strong interpersonal skills and strong computer skills; donor data bases, MS Office, Publisher and digital communication programs, are required. Send resume and cover letter by January 12, 2011 to Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC, 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, Asheville, NC 28801.

THE MEDIATION CENTER • Deep breathing, relaxation…that’s meditation. If conflict resolution is more your thing, consider a career in mediation. The Mediation Center is seeking a full-time Changing Together Project Coordinator and a half-time experienced Family Mediator. See www.mediatebuncombe.org /openings for job descriptions and application instructions. Competitive pay, excellent benefits. The mission of the Mediation

MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm-7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm-1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Nicole at (828) 696-2667 ext 13 or e-mail Nicole: nicole.toto@thementornetw ork.com. • Become a Therapeutic Foster Family.

• Free informational meeting. NC Mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739.

Center is to create

RESIDENTIAL COUNSELOR - LIVE IN POSITION • UMAR, a non-profit specializing in Group Homes for adults with Developmental Disabilities is seeking caring team players for FT RC for 7-on, 7-off live-in direct care positions in Hayesville. Pay range $8-10/hr based on experience and education.

Excellent FT benefits. Valid drivers license, negative drug screen/criminal record/driving record check, and HS diploma or equivalent required. Fax resume to 704-875-9276 or e-mail to Jobs@UMARinfo.com. EOE.

Services

SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR Mountain Area Recovery Center is seeking Licensed Substance Abuse Counselors to fill positions in our Asheville and Clyde facilities. Please e-mail your resume to address below or fax to 828-252-9512. Equal Opportunity Employer rhonda.ingle@marcotp.com

UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS

DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 •

opportunity from conflict.

Career Training EARN $75 - $200/HOUR • Media Makeup Artist Training. Ad, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class.

Stable job in weak economy. Details at http://www.AwardMakeUpS chool.com 310-364-0665.

(AAN CAN).

Employment

REGIONAL MYSTERY SHOPPER Regional Mystery Shopper Needed. You will be hired to conduct an all expenses paid surveys and evaluation exercises on behalf of BANNEST and earn $300.00 Per Survey.

Email your resume to andrewshopper@ hotmail.com

Get paid to shop. Retail and dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality and customer service. Earn up to $100/day. Please call 1800-720-0576.

mountainx.com

Teaching/ Education CHAIR, VETERINARY MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY • Full-time, 12 months.

Instruct all levels of courses assigned within the Veterinary Medical Technology curriculum.

Planning, organizing, and directing the program to include program marketing, student recruitment and program accreditation.

Supervise students in classroom lab and clinical practices environments.

Develop teaching materials, activities, and handouts for each course. Perform assessment, planning, implementation, and evaluation activities to improve the instructional quality of the program.

Provide supervision and instruction for both day and/or evening students as assigned. Maintain professional certification and seek opportunities for professional development.

Perform duties as assigned by the division Dean. • Minimum Requirements: (1) Baccalaureate degree in Veterinary Medical Technology. (2) Five or more years experience as a Registered Veterinary Technician. (3) Knowledge and experience in clinical Veterinary Medical Technology which are appropriate for assigned responsibilities. (4) Knowledge of the standards and requirements of the North Carolina Board of Veterinary Medicine for the practice of Registered Veterinary Medical Technologists. (5) Unrestricted license to practice as a Registered Veterinary Technician in North Carolina (6) Ability to utilize computer technology to deliver classroom instruction and manage related activities. (7) Computer literacy skills and a willingness to teach online or hybrid courses. • Preferred Requirements: (1) One or more years experience teaching within a Veterinary Medical Technology program. • Salary Range: $55,116 $57,456 • Review Date: December 10, 2010 on completed applications, but opened until filled. Start Date: January 3, 2011. • To be considered for any position, applicants must submit a complete application package which includes; A-B Tech application, cover letter, two (2) completed reference forms, and unofficial college transcripts (if applicable for the position) It is the responsibility of the applicant to ensure all required documents are submitted. Positions are open until filled, and review of completed application packages will begin after the Review Date. www.abtech.edu/jobs/

THE “I HAVE A DREAM” FOUNDATION OF ASHEVILLE is hiring a parttime Assistant Program Director. A college degree and experience working with youth is required. Visit ihadasheville.org for full description and to apply.

SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; melt in our sauna; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists.

299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com

Announcements

Counseling Services

PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-4136293. (AAN CAN)

Classes & Workshops LATIN RHYTHM DANCE BEGINNER’S CLASSES • Rumba, Swing, Salsa.

Private Instruction in Ballroom/Latin Dance.

Perfect Gift Idea. Contact Latinrhythmdance@gmail.c om 703-346-7112.

Mind, Body, Spirit

Bodywork INTEGRATIVE MASSAGE AND HOLISTIC HEALING

BY LAUREN Warm massage oils, hot towels, and herbal compresses. Clean, relaxing, and high-integrity healing space! Specializing in • Deep tissue massage • Relaxation and Energyhealing/clearing work. To schedule call Lauren (828) 333-2717. Xolarts certified holistic educator and ongoing apprentice.

LMT#7219. Professionaldraping required. Nonsensual.

LIKE BAMBOO THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE & YOGA • Therapeutic Yoga and Deep Holistic Massage inspired by Deep tissue, rhythmic Trager release, passive stretching and movement, Esalen, and ocean rhythms; Hot Stones and Spa treatments; Prenatal and Postpartum.

Individuals and couples.

Save $10 Mon-Wed. 828-707-7507. info@likebamboo.com www.likebamboo.com MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic Massage.

Manual Lymph Drainage.

Lymphedema Treatment. $45/hour or sliding scale for financial hardship. 17+ years experience. 828-2544110. NC License #146. www.uhealth.net

PSYCHOTHERAPY Working with mind, body, and spirit for healing and growth.

Sliding scale fee. First session free. Michelle Miller, M.S., N.C.C. mmhealingarts@yahoo.com , (828) 776-0576. www.mmhealingarts.com

LAKEHOUSE MUSIC Asheville’s only non-profit Recording Studio. • Recording • Mixing • Mastering • Video Production • Management • Marketing • Rehearsal Space. (828) 242-3573. pete@ lakehousemusic.org

Equipment For Sale CALISTRO MUSIC WNC’s high-end Pro Audio consultation and sales. • Apogee • Adam • Chandler • Empirical Labs • API • Crane Song and many more! (828) 515-0500.

Crate PX700DLX mixer and 2 P15 series speakers.

Hardly used, $400. Price negotiable. (828) 253-2763.

Spiritual FOLLOW YOUR PASSION INTENSIVE - DECEMBER 27TH 10AM-6PM If you want to take bold new steps, let me show you my effective game-plan creation experience helping you live your passion. 732917-0140. rpi@reflectionpond.com www.reflectionpond.com XOLARTS HOLISTIC HEALING Certified holistic healing practitioner in the Andean Shamanic healing tradition offering subtle body therapy for illnesses. $100 per session.

(828) 275-7851

Natural Alternatives HEALING HANDS ENERGY WORK • Renew Energy • Open Chakras • Crystal Healing.

Please call or email to schedule an appointment. • Studio and Home appointments available.

Blessings, Christina: (828) 337-5221. enerchi11@yahoo.com

Musicians’ Xchange

Pet Xchange

Lost Pets A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org

Pets for Adoption

Love! Bootsy is full of it.

She wants to please and be your best friend. Her gentle spirit is so heart warming.

The outdoors and your lap are her favorite places.

Bootsy loves toys and so far only chews what she is supposed to. She is crate trained, almost house broken, and gets along with cats, dogs and kids. This puppy will make an incredible addition to a family. Stop by Animal Compassion Network’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview St., to shop for all your pet supplies.

Musical Services ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 whitewaterrecording.com AUDIO ROBOT Competitive rates • 22’, 13’, and 10’ ceiling rooms • Seasoned engineer. • Avedis Preamps • Prism Converters (Abbey Road, Skywalker Ranch) • Telefunken and AEA microphones. • Also offering onsite recording.

(828) 515-0500. audiorobotrecording.com

My name is Monet and I am great with dogs, kids, and other cats. I am a one-yearold who likes to play with other cats, because I am still young and playful at heart. Please adopt me, I would be a great addition to your family. Stop by Animal Compassion Network’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview St., to shop for all your pet supplies.

by Brent Brown Pet Services

Vehicles For Sale

ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away.

Sadie is a very special little girl. She’s incredibly smart and equally as cute. She seems to already be housetrained, is curious and catches on quickly to all tasks. She gets along well with other dogs. She listens and already sits and shakes hands. Sadie loves to run and needs a fenced in yard to accommodate her 100 mph wind sprints. Whoever adopts her will give their heart away to this precious pup. Stop by Animal Compassion Network’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview St., to shop for all your pet supplies.

Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 215-7232.

R.E.A.C.H. Your Regional Emergency Animal Care Hospital. Open MondayFriday, 5pm-8am and 24 hours on Weekends and Holidays. • 677 Brevard Road. (828) 665-4399. www.reachvet.com

Autos 2008 HONDA CRV EX-L • Navigation, 29,513 miles.

2WD, Tango Red Pearl, gray leather. Sunroof, loaded, back-up camera, new tires, very clean. Warranty. $18,500. 828-250-0373. www.greenvalleycars.com 2009 HONDA ACCORD EXL • V-6, 4-door. 20,954 miles. Automatic, gray, gray leather, sunroof. Everything power, very clean. Warranty. $18,300. 828-250-0373. www.greenvalleycars.com

2009 HONDA CIVIC EX • 2door, automatic. 42,546 miles. Blue, gray interior.

Sunroof, everything power, very clean. Warranty. $12,300. 828-250-0373. www.greenvalleycars.com

2010 HONDA CIVIC LX-S •

2009 HONDA CIVIC SI • 4door, V-6. 20,514 miles. 5speed manual. Red, black cloth interior. 2.0 liter vtech. Loaded, sunroof, very clean. Warranty. 828-2500373. www.greenvalleycars.com

828-250-0373.

2010 HONDA ACCORD EXL • V-6, 2-door coupe.

17,163 miles. Automatic, white, beige leather, sunroof. Loaded, everything power, very clean. Warranty. $18,300. 828-250-0373. www.greenvalleycars.com

113 miles. 4-door, automatic. Tango Red Pearl, black cloth interior.

Everything power, alloy wheels. Warranty. $13,700. www.greenvalleycars.com

Automotive Services • Honda and Acura repair.

certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

— AVA I L A B L E Clinician Recovery Education Center: Must have Master’s degree and be license-eligible. Please contact Keith Christensen, keith.

Jackson County: Registered a Master’s degree and be licensechristensen@meridianbhs.org Nurse (RN) Assertive eligible. Please contact Chris Cruise, Case Manager (QMHP) Community Treatment Team: chris.cruise@meridianbhs.org Recovery Education Center: Must have four years of psychiatric Cherokee County: Must have mental health degree and nursing experience. Please cntact Clinician Assertive Community two years of experience working Kristy Whitaker, kristy.whitaker@ Treatment Team: Must have with adults with mental illness. meridianbhs.org Master’s degree and be licensePlease contact Keith Christensen, Clinician/Team Leader Child eligible. Please contact Patty Bilitzke, keith.christensen@meridianbhs.org and Family Services: Must have patricia.bilitzke@meridianbhs.org Transylvania County:

Antiques & Collectibles Bob Timberlake Painting: Mr. Zimmerman’s Corn.

Make an offer.

Call 257-2754.

Color Projector TV Works well. $175. Call 216-3488.

Half price repair and service. ASE and factory

Team Leader Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have Master’s degree and be license-eligible. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs. org Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have four years of psychiatric nursing experience. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs. org

all about you!”

6 Brand new Dr. Suess books, $68 value, asking $30. 318-2483.

Electronics

WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE

A WOMAN’S TOUCH “We’re

General Merchandise

For Sale

Medical Supplies Earthlite Harmony Deluxe Massage Table: New in box, lots of bells and whistles, $370. Call 215-6744.

Call 275-6291.

AWESOME GOURMET COFFEE The perfect holiday gift. Farm Direct, Certified Organic, 100% KONA. Compare Moonstruck’s Organic pound - $25 - to Whole Foods’ Conventional pound - $50. moonstruckorganics.com 808-328-0707 (AAN CAN)

ABSOLUTE BEAUTY 24/7.

Adult Services

DREAMSEEKERS

A PERSONAL TOUCH Asheville. • East Asheville • Incall/outcall. Treat yourself right! Call now for appointment. 713-9901.

Ask about our “Getting to know you” special.

Competitive rates. Give us a call today! (828) 335-1283.

Destination for relaxation.

Call for appointment: (828) 216-8900.

P OSI TIO NS—

Licensed Clinical Addiction Specialist (LCAS) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Please contact Ben Haffey, ben. haffey@meridianbhs.org Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness. Experience in Vocational Rehabilitation preferred.

Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.

haffey@ meridianbhs.org Peer Support Specialist Recovery Education Center: Must have lived experience with mental health and/or substance abuse challenges and be at a place in one’s own recovery to give back to others. Please contact Caroline Bradford, caroline.bradford@ meridianbhs.org Macon County: Case Manager (QMHP)

Recovery Education Center: Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness.

Please contact Candace Rawlinson, candace.rawlinson@meridianbhs. org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org

For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org mountainx.com

• DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010

69

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DECEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 28, 2010 •

mountainx.com

The New York Times Crossword 828-225-5555

Edited by Will Shortz No.1117 Across 1 Home, slangily 5 Rio Grande city 11 In the manner of 14 Rhein tributary 15 Food storage area 16 Mick Jagger’s title 17 Signs of elation > marathon segments 19 Liberal arts maj.

20 Prefix with skeleton 21 Italy’s side, once 22 Melt ingredient 23 Put down 25 Sign of trouble > commercial writers 27 Greedy sort 28 Certain offshoot 31 Lech of Poland’s Solidarity 32 Beehive State Indians 34 “Born from jets” automaker

36 Watch readouts, for short 37 Pigtail ] cause for a siren 40 Hydrotherapy sites 42 Squandered, as a lead 43 Courtroom attention-getter 47 Like some phone minutes 49 Furry sci-fi creature 51 That, in Tijuana 52 Toaster food -> dazzling designs 54 Smoothly, on a score 56 Spanish counterpart of a mlle.

57 “Dies ___” 60 Rotund Wolfe 61 Ore suffix 62 Fireplace part -> fall color 65 TV spot, often

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE P E E P

S N U F F J J A B L E R O O N Y X L L A M A S

O V E R

P A C E

M A U R Y

L A M B D A

S B I L B E A N E I L A A M I L N R I S C N N I I T I R S

E A S T M N I O I N G S H H G E S M S B A C C T T R A W S O N W W J P S E U E M C S A B A M S O N A P S

S T R M U O N B K S R N I A C D O I T A T A S

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66 Katharine Hepburn’s foursome 67 États-___ 68 What a farmer in Del. works on?

69 Surgeon’s probe 70 Bog product

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AFTERCARE & RELAPSE PREVENTION 27

Down 1 Locomotive part 2 Cheesy dish 3 First millennium B.C., roughly 4 Worrier’s handful 5 Chi-town rails 6 Holy man in an Ogden Nash verse 7 ___ fixe 8 Forgo the script 9 Plaything for two 10 Places for scrubs, for short 11 Like an alias 12 Disney’s Nala, for one 13 Deep secrets 18 Performs 22 El Greco’s city 23 Satyajit Ray’s “The ___ Trilogy” 24 First name in ’50s TV comedy 26 Painter of dreamscapes 29 Prepare for a marathon, say, with “up” 30 Set aside 33 Cascade Range peak 35 Make stout 38 On the ocean blue 39 A.F.B. truant

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Puzzle by Robert W. Harris

40 Showed contempt for something 41 Soldier’s shelter 44 The start of time 45 Where Skype was invented 46 Wild scene 47 Positive aspect

48 Having the least 63 Prez who said “If vermouth you can’t stand 50 Ranges of knowledge the heat, get out 53 Comics character with a wrist radio of the kitchen” 55 Fancy duds 58 Asia’s ___ Sea 59 To be, to Brigitte 62 Jolly sounds 64 Ballpark fig.

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