CULTURE // UPCOMING FILMS

Words: Miles Buckeridge

Years For Film In Recent History

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Expected: June 2023

It’s hard to resist the subconscious urge of ageist prejudice after learning that at 80, Harrison Ford is reprising his iconic action-archeologist role, Indiana Jones, for one last crack of the whip. He might not be as spritely, but the trailer teases that same pedigree of swashbuckling, snake-phobic, artefact-chasing, map-hopping, humour-laced adventuring that’s often been imitated over the past four decades, but never replicated. And an inestimably large part of its charm over that tenure has been Ford’s glint-eyed screen charisma. Of course he has his sidekicks along for the ride, this fifth chapter of the story sees the return of long-time pal and Fez enthusiast Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), Phoebe Waller-Bridge plays Indy’s Goddaughter Helena, Mads Mikkelsen also appears (presumably as arch baddy) and Antonio Banderas is also named in the cast list. We’re looking forward to it, as long as there aren’t any snakes, we hate snakes.

The Little Mermaid

Expected: May 2023

Disney’s live action presents this enchanting tale of a young fish girl living ‘under the sea’, who is so besotted with the strapping young Prince and human life that she makes a Faustian bargain with a scheming sea witch, for a shot at true love with a mouth-breather. These real world Disney reboots have enjoyed a pretty consistent approval rating so things are looking up for Ariel (played by Halle Bailey). We also have the delicious Neptunetier casting prospects of placing Ursula (Melissa McCarthy) and King Triton (Javier Bardem). We hope it finds its voice because it really feels like it deserves to be ‘part of your world’.

Oppenheimer

Expected: July 2023

This film has all the right periodic elements for a truly explosive release. Directed by Christopher Nolan, starring Cillian Murphy in the titular role and a based-on-a-real-storyline that follows the ethically-fraught series of events behind the Manhattan Project, the race to master nuclear fission and “become Death, the destroyer of worlds”. After shaking the atomic genie out of the bottle, Oppenheimer famously spent the rest of his days lobbying against its use, and we couldn’t think of a better pairing (Nolan and Murphy) to smash that sort of internal conflict nucleus apart. If all this wasn’t enough to send your expectations into an anticipatory mushroom cloud, there’s also the prospect that rather than using CGI to recreate the famous Trinity Test — Nolan, opted for a real explosion. Just not with uranium right Chris? Right Chris? Either way, literally zero chance that this will flop at the box office.

Barbie

Expected: July 2023

Take yourself back to 10 years ago. Now sit down in a studio executive’s chair and consider how you might feel if we pitched to you the idea of a romantic comedy loosely based around the imagined life of popular Mattel toy, Barbie. You’d likely march us straight out of that door, screaming something incoherent and unflattering about G.I. Joe. Snap back to today, with several big Lego movies still looming large in the rearview mirror, it seems dramatically less of a gamble. Especially when you have Greta Gerwig (Little Women, Lady Bird) directing and a cast that includes Margot Robbie as Barbie, Ryan Gosling as Ken, and support from Will Ferrell, America Ferrera, Michael Cera, Kate McKinnon and Helen Mirren.

Gran Turismo

Expected: August 2023

This isn’t a true movie adaption of the popular Sony game, though it shares some of the same DNA. It can’t be. The game doesn’t have a plotline and whilst you may argue that might actually have improved the Assassin’s Creed movie, we wouldn’t dare comment. This film tells the miraculous real life story of Jann Mardenborough (Archie Madekwe). Jann was an elite gamer, a Gran Turismo grandmaster, who was recruited into a racing academy on a gut intuition that good gamers might make good drivers. It’s directed by Neill Blomkamp (District 9, Elysium) and the cast list includes David Harbour, Orlando Bloom, Djimon Hounsou, Josha Stradowski and Geri ‘Ginger Spice’ Horner.

Wonka

Expected: December 2023

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Expected: November 2023

Set 64 years before the Katniss-led Hunger Games trilogy, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes tells the story of the 10th edition of the last-tribute-standing stab-off. Like the originals, it’s based on a book by Suzanne Collins — so the source material foundations at least are reliably solid. The events centre around a young Coriolanus Snow (Tom Blyth), the antagonist in the last series. Ambitious, sneaky but far from the sociopath you revel in despising during his autumn years – he’s tasked with tutoring a young (trigger warning) District 12 tribute by the name of Lucy Gray Baird (Rachel Zegler). Expect the sort of series of events that embitter a man to walk a path of aspirational villainy.

Ferrari

Expected: TBC 2023

Adam Driver has worked pretty hard to carve out a career where he rarely picks up similar sorts of roles, but here — his turn as Enzo Ferrari, marks his second chomp on the iconic Italian designer truffle (the first being Maurizio Gucci in House of Gucci, 2021). This biopic provides an autopsy on a pivotal period of the life of the famous racing driver and subsequent supercar conceiver. On the verge of financial ruin, and in wheel spin of personal turmoil, Ferrari decides to put it all on red and lead the House of Horse to some particularly risky waters.

If you’re still exhibiting mild PTSD from watching either of the big screen adaptions of Roald Dhal’s customarily dark kid’s book ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’, you’re in good company. Someone need only mention the word ‘Oompa-Loompa’ and we’re hurled into a dizzy fog of flashbacks — horrendous factory accidents, including children being sucked into waste valves in a Squid Gamesian furore. Wonka, examines the origin story to the character that headed up this Candyland Gulag – before the ensuing “where the blame” lawsuits. What sort of experiences build a man that metes out sadistic punishments for parent-enabled character flaws in minors? To answer that, it’s Timothée Chalamet who’s leading us on this cane-twirling jaunt of Willy Wonka — the formative years.