Finding Inner Peace: Cold, Hard Truths from Sean Crane

This month, we spoke with Sean Crane about pulling back the social media curtain and asking ourselves some of life’s most crucial questions. Sean is a coach, speaker, author of the bestselling book, “Prison of Your Own,” and soon-to-be podcaster. Dennis Postema: What projects are you working on and what’s coming up?

Sean Crane: It’s been a crazy year. I have dealt with a lot of adversity this year, but I have also accomplished many great things.

Right now, I have a coaching program called Unstoppable 365 MFR. It’s an elite self-mastery program for men who want to level up in all aspects of life, from business, finance, fitness, all the way to health.

Since I got out of prison five years ago, I have coached men all over the world. I wrote the bestselling book “Prison of Your Own” in 2021.

Moving into 2023, I’m focusing on speaking and sharing my message on big stages. At the end of February, I’ll be at Ken Joslin’s “Create” event in Atlanta. Ed Mylett and John Maxwell are going to speak, among many other inspiring people that are doing amazing things in this world, and I’m really grateful to be there speaking on stage in front of all those incredible people.

I’m also starting a podcast called “Unstoppable Mindset,” which will be available on all podcast platforms and on my YouTube channel. Through the podcast, I will share what I learned during my time in prison, and how I turned those blessings into successes as an entrepreneur, speaker, coach and family man. I’m so grateful. I just want to share this with the world, because I know it will help people.

Dennis: How did your speaking engagements get rolling?

Sean: I had a few speaking engagements here and there in 2021. I was able to do a TEDx talk, and that was really cool.

Social media is such a powerful tool when we use it to our advantage. When you have an authentic, real message, a good story, and we refine that message over time, and you get in front of the right people, it’s amazing what opportunities you can receive.

I leveraged my story and used my adversity to become an asset that now serves me. I talk about things that other people have never gone through. I can share a perspective and a message from my life experience that resonates with people, even if they haven’t gone through those same trials. They want to hear it, they’re intrigued, and it opens them up to the deeper lessons and teaching points that I love to facilitate.

Dennis: What are some adversities you have faced?

Sean: Many people go through tough times. I know I’m not the only one. Still, I truly believe these things happen in my life for a reason.

While I was growing up, my parents battled drug and alcohol addiction. It was tough. I didn’t have the parents I needed. I lacked consistent love

and good examples. That led to a lot of trauma and pain that I internalized.

During my adolescence, I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope. I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I hated my life. I had no direction. I didn’t play sports. I didn’t hang out with kids at school. I didn’t do any of the things that I wanted to do. I wasted those years. At the age of twenty-three, I went to prison. It was an intense and serious situation that changed my life. I watched a fight break out at a party. Someone tackled me from the side. I wound up wrestling around on the floor with these guys that I thought were attacking me. It turned out that a few people had been stabbed. One of them nearly died. During this fight, I got blood on me and people saw me wrestling, getting on my feet, and running away. People said they saw me fighting, and the cops arrested me for attempted murder. prison. It’s a situation one never expects to be in. It’s something that most people cannot even fathom. You see it in movies, read about it in books, hear about it on the news, but you never think, “This could actually happen to me.” There I was, at twentythree years old, sitting in a jail cell for twentyfour hours a day with absolutely nothing to do. I adapted, learned to survive. It gave me an opportunity to learn more about myself and discover this truth and depth within me that I never knew existed.

Many people knew I was innocent. One other man was arrested, and he had actually committed the stabbing that I went to prison for. They arrested him for the other stabbing incident that night.

He went to court with me, he sat in the same county jail, and everyone knew he had committed both stabbings, but there wasn’t anything to clear my name.

My shirt had been covered in blood and witnesses watched me wrestle with the guy on the floor.

We both took a plea deal where we admitted guilt to the crimes and got lesser sentences. I was sentenced to seven years, and he was sentenced to eight years in prison.

About eight months ago, he reached out to me and said, “Hey, man, I just got out of prison. I want to help you clear your name. I want to go down to the police station and tell them I committed the crime you went to prison for.”

I couldn’t believe it. I never thought someone would do that. He did end up going to the police station and recorded a statement, but the police never did anything with the information. It’s been so

long, and they don’t like to go back unless someone is still in prison for life. From their perspective, there is no point in going back and exonerating me.

I took his admittance of the truth as a sign that I’m on the right track in life.

Recently, I learned that he committed suicide.

Everyone that was tied to my case is all currently in prison, dead, or addicted to drugs and alcohol. They’re living miserable lives. I feel like I was spared. I did five years in prison, and it changed the rest of my life.

I had this intuition that I was going to sacrifice five years of freedom, of life with my family, and that it would give me the rest of my life to live the right way. That’s the belief I went into prison with.

Dennis: How does that perspective affect your coaching?

Sean: I am so blessed. I get to help people for a living. It’s my purpose. I live my purpose every day, and it’s truly incredible to watch these men change their lives and to know that I impacted and influenced them to make that positive shift.

People message me all the time saying, “You helped me find purpose in life. You helped me understand what was at stake. Your story opened my eyes to the fact that this life is precious and we have to make it count.”

I use my incarceration story to reach people who are going through the motions or who don’t understand that this is it. You’re not going to get a do-over. This isn’t a rehearsal.

You’re going through the motions and you’re making excuses. Why? So you can get to the end of your life and die wishing you had a second chance?

A lot of people get stuck in this place in life where they’re settling, where they feel like, “Oh, it’s too late to make a change,” or, “Who am I to make this change, to leave this job, to go after that career, to be somebody? Who am I to do that now?”

They have this limiting belief, this fear, inside of them, so I help them break these fears and start to build confidence in who they are so they can attack these bigger goals and do something meaningful in life.

Dennis: What advice do you have for people balancing entrepreneurship with family?

Sean: First of all, take a look at how you appear on social media. Too many people make their lives out to be perfect online. They want the perfect content and the perfect message. While you should show your followers results so people know you can help them, you also need to show that you’re human. Being vulnerable and opening up about your struggles and mistakes you have made makes you more relatable to your audience. It lowers others’ guards.

When people come into a sales call or see you on social media, you don’t want them to have their guard up. You don’t want them to think, “Oh, this guy wants my money. This guy’s trying to sell me on something.”

Over time, if you can relate to them and show them that you’re a real person, that you’ve been

through shit, then they’re going to think, “Man, how can I learn from this guy? How can I be like Dennis or Sean? Sean fought through addiction, depression, and now he has a wife and kids and a business. I want that. Maybe he could show me. Let me see what he’s doing. Does he have a coaching program?”

That’s when they reach out and you can change their lives.

That’s what I’ve been doing since I came home from prison. I have found success as a coach because I use social media to my advantage. Many people do it wrong, because they copy everyone else and they’re scared of showing their true selves because they don’t want to be judged. But when you show your true self, others will see how you’re different and you really stand out. Raising a family while growing a business is probably the biggest struggle that successful men deal with. How do I be present with my family so they can feel my love? How do I avoid using my phone and be in the moment during family time? Is there a way to balance family while having a successful business, or living a purpose-driven life where I feel like I am achieving at a high level and pushing myself to be my best?

It’s definitely possible, but most men don’t figure it out. A lot of people we see on social media showing off private jets and expensive watches aren’t actually happy with their lives. They have success, clout, status, and money, but there is a big difference between success as the world defines it and what we all actually want, which is inner peace and fulfillment.

Everyone wants to know in their heart that they are their best self, living their best life. Everyone thinks you have to have a certain amount of money or luxurious stuff to be happy. It’s OK to have those things, but if you lose sight of what’s important, and what’s at stake in life, then you’re going to reach the end of your life and realize you don’t have what you wanted deep down.

Happiness is an internal state of being that you have to cultivate. My definition of success is having inner peace at all times. If I’m chasing money or success too much and I’m not spending enough time with my family, I do not feel that inner peace. I feel discord and tension, and those lead to stress and overwhelm.

This year, I spent two weeks in the hospital because my daughter caught a cold that progressed to complicated pneumonia. Fluid build-up outside her lung caused it to collapse. We were in the pediatric intensive care unit. She couldn’t breathe. She had oxygen tubes in her nose and IVs in her arms. She got poked and had blood taken and medicine given to her every day. It was horrible to see my daughter in

that pain and to think she could die in that hospital room. Her condition was worsening.

It was the worst pain I had ever known, and I had done two thousand days in prison. This was by far the worst experience of my life. It made prison look like nothing.

I reflected on my journey to that point and started questioning what it had all been for. We chase success and status. People on social media try to put out this image. Why? I realized none of that shit matters. Nothing we are striving for as a society is that important.

It’s great to push yourself. It’s OK to want nice things. It’s good to do fun things with others and travel the world. But when it comes to it, what really matters the most, for me, is my wife and kids, and knowing I gave them my all—not a lavish life or money, but time, energy and love. There’s a big difference. Many men miss the mark, and they will regret it one day. Those are the men that I have been able to reach more recently, and it’s my goal to help them find the ability to be in the moment, develop that level of self-control, to shift their perspectives and mindsets so they can create what they want in business while making their families the number one priority in their lives.

Everyone shows off material things because they get attention from it. They think it’s cool. If I’m coaching someone who is super successful and I see him on social media, for example, posting pictures of him in his jet, I will get really honest behind closed doors.

I had a conversation recently. I said, “Look, I don’t give a fuck about your jet or your $10,000 jacket. It doesn’t impress me at all. I want to see how you are when you’re at home with your wife and kids. I want to see how you are when no one’s watching you. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled?”

He paused, then said, “No, I’m not.”

I said, “Then what the fuck is it all for? You’re making all this money. I see you on social media all the time.” You’ve seen someone like him. Everyone sees people like him. If you’re not even happy, what’s it all for? Challenging their beliefs and perspectives to make them realize that just because other people are doing something or you think it’s cool, if you’re not happy and living in a purpose-driven way, then you’re doing it wrong. Money and success are never going to lead to the way you want to feel.

After going through that wrenching experience with my daughter in the hospital, I learned the truth. It’s my mission and responsibility to share it with other men. God put me in that hospital room to teach me this lesson so I can help save other men from making the same mistakes I was making, or that I see them making. I won’t hold back. I think when a lot of people reach a high status, they don’t have anybody in their lives willing to call them out.

I’m here to tell you that materialism and doing what others are doing isn’t that cool. It’s not what matters most in life.

Dennis: What is your daily routine?

Sean: Routine allows me to build momentum and maintain a constant flow state while making sure

each part of my life is taken care of.

I wake up at 4:00 a.m. every morning, reflect in my journal and be there in the moment for a while. No phone. No email. I’m not racing out the door.

When I’m ready, I go for a run or workout.

My morning routine sets the tone for the day. I get up early, before I want to, because it’s challenging. I want to make sure the first thing I do is difficult, because that builds discipline.

If you aren’t waking up early in the morning, what message are you sending to your subconscious? You’re telling it that you can sleep in, that you can hit snooze because you don’t have anything important going on, that you can just do it tomorrow, like your life isn’t important. You’re saying you would rather sleep than chase your goals.

Maybe you don’t have a big enough vision. Maybe you’re not inspired. That’s a problem.

Waking up early tells my subconscious mind a message that I want to reach these goals, that I’m hungry for the next level. I’m motivated. I’m not going to let sleep be the thing that pulls me away from my greatest self. I’ll sacrifice sleep for the life that I want.

I don’t think many people give themselves enough time throughout the day, the week, the year, to really stop and be honest with themselves about what they’re doing in life and make sure that it’s what they want to be doing.

When you wake up, for the first fifteen or twenty minutes of the day, sip some coffee, be present in the moment, and ask yourself, “Am I as happy as I want to be in life right now? What do I need to do today to start making positive changes or cultivate the life I want? Who do I need to become to create that life, that vision, that my heart is calling me to create?”

You have to find the answers within yourself, and then you’ll realize that you have a depth within you that most people never tap into. That’s what prison allowed me to do. I found this inner dialogue, and I learned more about myself in that cell than I ever had before. It changed everything for me.

Working out is crucial. You have to push through something difficult. You have to push through another challenge, because every time you make it through a difficult workout, it’s an act of self-love. You’re pushing yourself, you’re developing willpower, you’re instilling that discipline, even when you don’t want to, and it gives you an edge in life. You develop that warrior mindset, so that when you’re in the hospital, like I was, with your daughter, you’re not breaking and going back for a drink, telling your wife, “I can’t deal with this. I’ve got to go.”

No. You’re the rock, you’re ready for anything— anything—that life throws at you.

When you develop that mindset, you’re able to go after opportunities with more initiative. My morning routine and my workouts drive me to go out and chase goals financially, in my business, anything that I want in my life, and I feel more capable of achieving.

If you’re not working out, you’re missing out on a massive component of self-mastery. I start off my day doing that, and it sets the tone, and revs up this internal engine.

I come back home at 6:00 a.m. and my kids are getting up. I’m able to be there, present with them, energetic, loving. I got my stuff done, I’m not waking up late, irritable, anxious for the day. It’s already done. Now I can serve them and be there.

We have breakfast, my wife gets ready for the day, and she’ll usually take the kids out to do something fun. One of my kids is twelve and the other two are both under five years old, so my wife will take them to the zoo or to the park to meet with family, and that’s when I get into my workflow. I do my coaching calls, my social media content, interviews like this, anything I need to do for the day.

After 4:00 p.m., it’s family time. I want to be done with all my stuff by four o’clock, I want to be able to leave my phone in another room and not think about work stuff, go to dinner, and have fun. For me, that’s a perfect day, and that’s what I strive to do every day. I call it a ten-out-of-ten day. I know if I do that stuff every day, it’s aligning with my vision of the man I want to be, and I know all the results and goals that I have will take care of themselves if I’m showing up and executing each part of the day that way.

Consistency is key. That’s the thing most people have the hardest time with, because they go into it thinking they only have to work out or stick with the routine for a short period of time. When I said I was going to quit drinking and doing drugs for the rest of my life, I fucking meant it. I haven’t touched drugs or alcohol for over ten years. I made that promise to myself.

It’s the same thing. You have to commit to who you want to be, that person who you know you’re being called to become. You have to commit to being that person every day, from this moment forward, for the rest of your life.

If you don’t, you will always backslide. If you don’t, you will always start and then stop. You’re never going to be that person or feel the way you want if you don’t commit for the rest of your life.

It’s a mindset. Go into it like, “I’m going to work out every day for the rest of my life. I’m going to eat clean every day for the rest of my life. I’m never going to drink. I’m going to show up every day for my family, present, without my phone, for the rest of my life.”

Make these commitments. Too many people don’t want to commit. They don’t want to sacrifice certain parts of themselves, the things that they do, to create a better person, but it’ll never happen if you don’t.

If you still haven’t committed and you’re not willing to sacrifice, don’t expect to get amazing results. You’re going to get subpar results that you will regret one day because you were unwilling to go all in on yourself.

Find out more about Sean Crane on Instagram or Facebook: @ sean_michael_crane. Check out his website, prisonofyourown.com, to learn more about his book.

Sean gives us powerful insight on living life without regret and leaving a beautiful legacy. Sean: Why is it that all older people share the same thing? They tell you about their regrets to make sure that it doesn’t happen to you, and they tell you to spend more time with the people you love. They always say, “I wish I worked less and cared less about money.” Nobody on their deathbed ever says, “Damn, I wish I’d made another million dollars. Can I go back and try to make more money?” No. They’re saying, “Why did I spend so much time worrying about this paper and these digits on my phone instead of spending time with the people I love and want to be around?” Most people are fooled right now. Social media exacerbates it. No one talks about it because it’s not sexy or appealing, but I’m going to talk about it. The majority of people who think they’re dope with money and expensive stuff aren’t happy. Show me how you’re working out, show me what you’re doing in the morning, show me how you are when your daughter’s sick. Are you compassionate? Are you patient? Like, who are you, really, as a man? I think we need to redefine what a real man is. I want to be the most attentive, loving husband my wife has ever had. I want to be the most present, fun, joyful father my children have ever had. The best example. Consistent. Living in integrity with my words and actions every day.

I also want to be the biggest savage and beast you’ve ever seen in the gym. I want to be the best coach and speaker in the world with the most impactful message, where you can feel my energy through this Zoom call. I want to give it all to the best of my ability. I want to make millions and billions of dollars so I can give it away, so I can open a children’s hospital, so I can really do some tangible good in my community, not so I can buy more stuff and say, “Look at me!”

It’s so much deeper, and people that haven’t been through it don’t understand what’s at stake. They’re just conditioned to think, “Oh, this is what I need to do. This is what everyone else is doing, so this is what I’ll do.”

I’ve been through situations where I felt and saw the truth. It’s undeniable. Prison for two thousand days and then being in the hospital with my daughter, and I feel like I learned these lessons that God bestowed upon me that changed my life and I have to share them with people because I see a lot of people doing it the wrong way.

Who is reading this? Entrepreneurs. People who focus on generating revenue and growing their business. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s not a bad thing, but when you lose sight of why you started it, or you forget the deeper purpose and meaning behind acquiring wealth, success and status, that’s when you’re going to lose that joy or that purpose inside you. That’s when the stress and overwhelm deteriorates you. Are you as happy as you want to be?

Why are you going to keep doing things that aren’t fulfilling you? If you’re not as happy as you want to be, it’s because you’re doing it wrong, and it goes back to what I just shared: You lost sight of why you started. Your priorities are not in order, and you have to fix that if you want to go back to being fulfilled and really enjoy this journey of life that you have.

If you’re unfulfilled, symptoms will crop up. You might drink more or eat more. Your relationships won’t be as harmonious. Those symptoms will make your life worse, and the problem will never go away until you address the root cause of it.