Back Street Heroes - January 2019 - Preview

ISSUE 417

JANUARY 2019

UK OFFSALE DATE: 03/01/19

£4.20

accessories

clothing

14: SHOVELHEAD CHOPPER

a Seventies bike built by someone who wasn’t even born then!

20: ISSUE 1 INTRO

the first bit of our look back at the very first issue of BSH

22: ISSUE 1 HONDA

plunger-framed chopper that wouldn’t look out of place these days at all!

26: ISSUE 1 TRIUMPH

neat, simple, street custom

30: ISSUE 1 KENT SHOW

prepare to get all misty-eyed and nostalgic!

37: ISSUE 1 RICK’S HOG

the epitome of cool…

42: ISSUE 1 NCC

the National Chopper Club just ten years after it was formed!

46: ISSUE 1 VENOM

Eighties chop par excellence!

50: ISSUE 1 ODGIE

early portrait of a legend…

58: GSX600 PROJECT BIKE

Mr Bridges’ (very) long term build in all its glory!

62: THE TRIP OUT

the funkiest bike bash of the year

66: BORDER STORY

as a final treat from 1983, one of the legendary Jim Fogg’s finest pieces of fiction

6: NEWS all that’s new and happening in the custom bike world 8: PRODUCTS loads of good stuff for you to spend your hardearned on 12: LETTERS sound off, one, two, sound off, three, four!

54: CENTRESPREAD Ms Limb has other duties this issue so how’s about summat different?

56: SUBSCRIBE TO BSH see here for the best subscription offers 70: KATANA PROJECT our new build is not your average project bike build…

74: TECH BSH’s resident spanner monkey twirls his implements… fnurk 78: MAG NEWS our regular column by the MAG chairnon genderspecificperson

80: MR BRIDGES the guru imparts more of his knowledge of mechanics 84: INDIAN LONG-TERMER Wor Davie’s last few miles on it

TO GET THE DIGITAL EDITIONS APP, SIMPLY SEARCH FOR ‘BACK STREET HEROES’ IN THE APPLE APP STORE FOR iPAD OR ON GOOGLE PLAY FOR ANDROID

86: (ALMOST) A ROADTEST the new Honda CB1100 EX

CHECK OUT THE BSH FACEBOOK PAGE (BACK STREET HEROES) AND THE BSH FACEBOOK GROUP AT BACK STREET HEROES – THE OFFICIAL GROUP

89: SMALLS sell your bike here for free!

90: EVENTS your essential guide to the best rallies, shows and parties 94: READERS’ LIVES your pictures and our silly captions... yeah, sorry about that 98: NEXT MONTH just to whet your appetite…

BE PART OF THE BACKSTREETHEROES COMMUNITY

105: RICK HULSE the musings of one of the most eloquent thinkers in bikerdomerd 106: BACK IN T’DAY retro choppers from the depths of timeeom

JANUARY 2019

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editor:

NIK SAMSON

nik@backstreetheroes.com

07884 052003 staff writer:

DAVE MANNING

dave@backstreetheroes.com

Pic by Alex

design:

GARETH WILLIAMS publisher:

TIM HARTLEY advertising contact:

RICK NICHOLS

rnichols@mortons.co.uk 01507 529357

I was going to start this issue by paraphrasing the lyrics to John Lennon’s So This Is Christmas in some clever way to make it relevant to BSH and you, its dear readers, but do you know what? It’s only the beginning of December and I’m feckin’ sick of the ‘C’ word already…

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not remotely religious (the closest I get is saying ‘Christ!’ when I drop a spanner), but even I’m starting to pine for the days when it was the spiritual side of Christmas that was important, not the greedy rampant commercialism that prevails today. It seems that from the exact second Halloween’s over (and in some cases before), Christmas tut appears on the shelves of just about every shop, on every retail website, and on every TV channel, both terrestrial and digital. From the beginning of November we’ve been bombarded with Christmas this, Christmas that, much of it portrayed in such a way as to make the easily-led think that this stylised TV world is what reality should actually be like, and to cajole them into spending money that they don’t have on shite they don’t need. What these ads don’t tell you is that the brief moments of pleasure (or feigned pleasure as it so often is as you stare at the item in front of you and think to yourself “What the f**k did they get me this for?”) you get from opening presents on Christmas morning are hugely outweighed by the dawning realisation that (a) you’ve now got to pay that yawning credit card debt caused by you getting drawn in by the festive spirit, and (b) that, bloody annoyingly, you could’ve got most of the crap you’ve spent your hard-earned on at a massively reduced rate the following day in the Boxing Day sales.

Me, I shall be bloody glad when the damn ‘festival’ is over (yes, I’m aware I sound like a right miserable ol’ shyte), when the winter solstice’s been and gone and the nights start getting shorter and the days longer, and us motorbike-riding types can look forward to the return of spring and warmer weather. I mean, I don’t mind riding through the colder months of the year, in fact I quite relish it, but I do look forward to not having to clamber into myriad layers just to bob out for a quick blast to clear the mind, y’know?

So, yeah, while I’m aware that you shouldn’t, as the old saying goes, wish your life away, I’ll be happier when the calendar in my office says ‘January’, rather than ‘December’, but until then I, and I suspect a fair few others too, will just have to, once again, put up with the whole tedious affair, wincing at the godawful

fake Christmas cheer that pervades the country, smiling politely at the drunken shagwits in their tasteless and not even remotely amusing Christmas jumpers, and doing our best not to grab something large, sharp and pointy and going utterly postal after hearing Slade’s Merry Christmas Everybody that one too many times (just the once, in my case…). God, I’d forgotten how hateful it really is…

Mind you, if anyone wants to buy me one of those new Katanas that Suzuki are bringing out? In silver please? Ta muchly!

✱✱✱✱✱✱✱✱ As I think I’ve mentioned before, the trend for cities to introduce Clean Air Zones (or Low Emissions Zones or Ultra-Low Emissions Zones or whatever they’re calling them this week) is increasing. Not only have That London and… umm, Their Birmingham got them, as well as Paris and Brussels, lots of cities across Spain, which apparently has terrible countrywide air-pollution problems, have announced that they too are going to limit certain classes of vehicles from their centres (anything that doesn’t pass the Euro 4 emissions legislation, it appears).

They’ve also announced that some of them are going to, effectively, ban foreign vehicles – people who own vehicles not registered in those countries won’t be able to purchase the relevant paperwork to allow them to take them into said cities.

“Err, so what?” you might be thinking? Well, for a lot of folk who read this magazine it won’t be an issue, but for those of us who like to point their wheels Continentwards during the summer it could be a problem so, if you’re planning a jaunt sur La Manche when the weather gets a bit warmer, it might be worth doing a little research on the ‘Net before you go, okay?

divisional ad manager:

BILLY MANNING

bmanning@mortons.co.uk subscription manager:

PAUL DEACON circulation manager:

STEVE O’HARA marketing manager:

CHARLOTTE PARK publishing director:

DAN SAVAGE

commercial director:

NIGEL HOLE

freelance contributors:

SIMON EVERETT, STEVEN MYATT, ALISON LEIGHT, TIM BEAUMONT, GARRY STUART, JIM FOGG, SELINA LAVENDER, LOUISE LIMB, PAUL & LUKE MARLTON, MR BRIDGES, RICK HULSE editorial address:

BACK STREET HEROES, MORTONS MEDIA, MORTON WAY, HORNCASTLE, LN9 6JR subscriptions:

01507 529529 website:

WWW.BACKSTREETHEROES. COM enquiries and back issues:

01507 529529 24hr answerphone

archive enquiries:

JANE SKAYMAN

jskayman@mortons.co.uk 01507 529423

✱✱✱✱✱✱✱✱ And speaking of travels abroad, from the next issue we’ll be running a short series of features on a nineday, 3,000-mile trip that me an’ her made last year, from here to Croatia and back, that took in autobahns and incredible coast roads, lethal home-made spirits, wasps down bras, and a train trip under a mountain.

I bet you can’t wait, can you? Don’t answer that…

Anyway, that’s all from me this month, see you when you’re older.

NIK

Independent publisher since 1885 Having trouble finding a copy of this magazine?

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Distribution by Marketforce UK Ltd, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London E14 5HU. Tel: 0203 787 9001. Printed by William Gibbons and Sons, Wolverhampton. ISSN: 02679841. BSH is copyright to Mortons Media Ltd 2018 and all rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

The publishers accept no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photographs. If you send material to us for publication, you are strongly advised to make copies and to include an SAE. Original material must be submitted and will be accepted solely on the basis that the author accepts the assessment of the publisher as to its commercial value. BSH UK subscriptions £45.00, European subs £55.89, all other countries £67.89, from BSH Subs, Mortons Media Ltd, PO Box 99, Horncastle LN9 6LZ. USA subs $60 per annum from Motorsport, 31757 Honey Locust Road, Jonesburg, MO 63351-9600 and additional mailing offices. Periodicals postage is paid at Jonesburg, Missouri, USA. Postmaster: send USA address changes to BSH, Motorsport, 550 Honey Locust Road, Jonesburg, MO 63351-9600.

NEWS

Back To Berlin is the first biker flick-meets-Holocaust feature documentary. Eleven motorcyclists set out on a mission to take the Maccabiah torch from Israel to the site of the infamous 1936 Berlin Olympics, for the first Jewish Olympic Games on German soil. They will retrace the heroic journeys of the original 1930s Maccabiah riders and discover how they or their families survived the Holocaust.

Back To Berlin is on release in select cinemas now – watch the trailer on YouTube.

Triumph Motorcycles have recently launched a new pair of on/off-road bikes with their High Power 1200 engine; the Scrambler 1200 XC and Scrambler 1200 XE. The XC is the more road-biased of the two, although it’s very competent off-road, and the XE is the more extreme one. Both bikes use the Bonneville 1200 High Power engine, with a dedicated Scrambler tune, delivering 90 PS (89bhp) at

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7,400rpm and 110 Nm (81ft-lb) of torque at 3,950rpm, and have a sculpted high level exhaust with twin exhaust cans, six riding modes (including Off-Road Pro on the XE), cornering ABS and traction control, a torque-assist clutch, Öhlins suspension, and an impressively long specification list.

As yet there’s no price confirmed, but you can get more info from your local Triumph dealer or from www.triumph motorcycles. co.uk

Royal Enfield have built and raced a custom-built 650 Interceptor at Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah at a record speed of 157.053mph (pending FIM certification). They designed the bike in collaboration with S&S Cycle and Harris Performance, and it was ridden by an 18-year-old female rider – Cayla Rivas.

The Bonneville Racer made it through 22 test runs before hitting a record speed of 132mph without nitrous, and the final top speed was more than 159mph on the measured mile, with a record return run average at 157.053mph.

For more information on Royal Enfield’s new range of 650 twins, go to www.royalenfield.com

Ducati has unveiled three new Scrambler models for 2019, with all three getting LED daytime running headlights, new auto-off LED indicators, new switchgear, Ducati multimedia systems, Bosch cornering ABS, a softer feel to the hydraulic clutch, and an adjustable lever.

The Full Throttle features a two-tone black/yellow white-striped tank, an all-new rear end with a dedicated seat, and white-rimmed yellow number holders, and comes with low-slung tapered handlebars, a stubby front mudguard, and dual silencers.

The Cafe Racer gets dual ’pipes, a nose fairing, lateral number holders, and a stubby mudguard in addition to its Silver Ice Matt graphics and blue frame. It also comes with 17in spoked wheels and aluminium ’bar-end mirrors.

Finally, there’s the Desert Sled, which comes with a red frame, a new seat with colour-co-ordinated stitching, and spoked wheels with black rims. It also features an offroad riding mode that allows ABS disengagement, and adjustable Kayaba suspension.

For more info contact your local Ducati dealer or www.ducati.com

Mutt Motorcycles, the specialists in cool 125 street-scramblers, have teamed up with Maidstone HarleyDavidson to create a new range of very funky Sportsters with their iconic look. Taking a stock Iron 883, they changed the tank and rear shocks, made a new rear ’guard, and fitted Firestone tyres, low Biltwell ’bars, Motogadget grips, concealed M-Blaze indicators, and free-flowing blacked-out ’pipes that makes this Mutt bark like a big dog should.

The bikes are available now at Maidstone Harley-Davidson with a price tag of £13,995 or from Mutt Motorcycles on 0121 439 4774 or cooter@muttmotorcycles.com

Wunderlich, the BMW specialists, have developed a new conversion based on the BMW R nineT; the WunderBob. It has revised suspension which lowers the bike by 25mm, has raised, wide handlebars, a new slimmer subframe with a new seat, rear light and indicators, fully adjustable footrests, stunning dark blue metallic paint, bulbous tyres, an almost floating rear mudguard and a host of other subtle changes.

For more information visit www.wunderlich. de or you can get Wunderlich parts and products in the UK from www. nippynormans.com

An Austrian Ural dealer’s created a limited edition version of the iconic Russian motorcycle ‘n’ sidecar, inspired by the Trans-Siberian Express train.

The Ural Transsib is based on a Ural CT model, and comes with a more powerful engine, Marzocchi telescopic forks instead of the usual Ural leading links, 18-inch wheels with Heidenau K28 tyres, a screen for the sidecar, new graphics and, most importantly, a bottle of vodka hidden in a jerry can!

See more about it on the website at w w w . ural.cc

The 2019 CVO Street Glide, HarleyDavidson’s best-selling bagger, comes with a new Blaze Red band on the engine’s rocker boxes, new red Bar & Shield logos, and three new paint options; Charred Steel/Lightning Silver with contrast chrome Talon wheels, Wineberry/Black Forest with contrast anodised wheels and Black Forest with contrast anodised wheels. There’s also a brand new BOOM! Box GTS infotainment system with three separate amplifiers (75 watts per channel, 900 watts of clear audio performance), a wireless headset interface that lets you use your Bluetooth headset to communicate with the infotainment system, passengers and other riders, and it has heated grips too.

Get more info from your local HarleyDavidson dealer or www.harleydavidson.com

Well-known for her motorcycle illustration work, our own Louise Limb has a new 2019 calendar with a selection of classic images and a few new pieces too. Retailing at £17.50 (including UK postage/ packing) each A4-sized calendar comes in a board-backed envelope, and the first 100 are personally signed and numbered.

You can only purchase these limited edition calendars direct from her via her website at www. louiselimb.com where there is also a huge selection of Christmas cards.

The dates for 2019’s Stormin’ The Castle have been announced – August 30-September 1. Tickets go on sale March 1, but it’s worth making a note now, isn’t it?

For more info, go to the event’s website at www.storminthecastle.co.uk

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ZODIAC CLIP ONS PRODUCTS These Zodiac clip-on ’bars are great for cafe racerstyle bikes, are made from high-tensile steel, and have dimples to route your switch wiring.

Available in chrome or black, and for 39mm and 41mm forks, they’re available from your local Zodiac dealer or www.zodiac.nl

If flames are your thing, the new design on the HJC Aries classic open-face helmet will keep your fires burning!

Made from an advanced Kevlar/ fibreglass matrix, it’s light and has superior fit and comfort, a drop-down sun visor, a moisture-wicking, antibacterial interior, and removable and washable crown and cheek pads.

Available in all the usual sizes, it costs £139.99 from anywhere that stocks the HJC range – go to www. oxfordproducts.com to find your nearest place.

FLAKE KING SPRAY GUNS

If you’re in the market for a dry flake applicator that doesn’t just spit flake out randomly then you need this Flake King 1000 Dry Flake Gun, as it doesn’t rely on pick-up tubes that can cause flake “flurries” – it agitates the flake and draws it out consistently, giving you professional results. There’s also an adapter available so that you can use an airbrush (the Flake King Airbrush Adapter), which fits directly on to your airbrush and enables you to apply clear-coat and then simply push on the adaptor to apply the flake, and a smaller version, the Flake King 500 Mini Gun, which is capable of running off an airbrush compressor too.

Get yours, or more info, from The Airbrush Company on 01903 767800 or www. airbrushes.com

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Guy Martin’s recently restored a 1983 Williams F1 car and raced Jenson Button in it, helped to build a First World War tank, ridden with Putin’s favourite biker gang the Night Wolves, competed in classic endurance racing, stood on top of one of Chernobyl’s nuclear reactors, and taken part in his last ever Isle of Man TT. Then there’s the stuff he really can’t wait to get out of bed for;

These new armoured cargo/combat trousers from Resurgence are made with PEKEV and are the world’s highest, and only, CE EN13595-1 level 2 abrasion-rated cargos. They have the traditional six pockets (zippered side ones), and are made from strong, high-quality yet soft cotton, fully lined with abrasion-resistant PEKEV, with a wicking lining to draw away moisture, and side zippers for armour insertion/removal, ankle cuff straps, and knee and hip armour.

Available in sizes 30– 44”, and in leg lengths of 30”, 32” and 34”, they come in two colours (brown or green), and they cost £260 from anywhere that stocks the Resurgence range – go to www. dot4distribution.com to find your nearest place.

12-hour shifts for a local haulage firm, and tatie farming in his new John Deere tractor. Besides all this, he’s saved his local pub from closure, and become a dad, but let him tell you his own stories, in his own words: “You’re getting it from the horse’s mouth. No filter. I hope you enjoy it.”

We Need To Weaken The Mixture is available from all good book sellers and online.

PRODUCTS

If you’re looking for exquisite British-made leather bags for your bike or self, then might we recommend these Fatbob Crafts ones?

Panniers or shoulder bags start at £120 with a range of designs, and frame or swingarm bags are from

Born as a spotlight, but used on choppers as headlights since the 1960s, this timeless rectangular design looks right at home with all kinds of forks and handlebar shapes, and is made from chrome-plated steel.

It comes with a 12v, H3 55W bulb, and an adjustable mounting bracket, and you can 10

£150. Find out more from their website at www. fatbobcrafts.co.uk

get one from anywhere that stocks the W&W Cycles range – check out www.wwag.com to find your nearest place.

JANUARY 2019

These wide ‘n’ narrow handlebars have a narrow base to give that distinctive Brit style but, due to their narrow base, they need the special Fork riser clamp.

Made from 1” diameter stainless steel, they’re 83cm (32.6”) wide and 25cm (9.8”) high, and they’re available from anywhere that stocks the W&W Cycles range – check out www.wwag.com to find your nearest place.

OptiMate’s solar kits can save a ‘dead’ motorcycle battery or provide safe long-term maintenance, using only the sun’s power – ideal for wherever bikes’re stored where there’s no access to a power point.

They work in both bright and low light levels, are safe for use with all STD, AGM and GEL 12v batteries, from 2Ah–240Ah, and come with a solar panel, controller and all required cables, and there are five different models available.

Prices start at £104.99, and you can get more info from www.optimate1.com

2019 sees the publication of the 50th Anniversary Zodiac Bikers Book, a full-colour catalogue with more than 40,000 parts and accessories for Harley-Davidsons, American V-twins and customs. Just some of the brands available are S&S Cycle, Feuling, Wiseco, Keith Black, Red Shift, James Gaskets, Cometic, Roland Sands Designs, Performance Machine, Mustang, Le Pera, Kerker, SuperTrapp, Jims, Black Duck, Fehling, Tolle, Kustom Tech, Kellermann, Two Brothers Racing and many, many more.

You can get your own copy at more than 2,500 Zodiac dealers across Europe or order it online from www.zodiac.nl

Need to agree or even disagree with something you’ve seen in the mag? Heard a bloody awful joke you think we should groan at? Email nik@ backstreetheroes. com or send it snailmail to the address in the front (somewhere) of the mag!

I’m just sending you a moan – we trike riders are treated like secondclass citizens; we’re frowned upon by car drivers, and barely ever get a nod from other bikers, but we’re still riders… just with a wheel too many. I wouldn’t choose to ride one of these damn things, but physical capabilities mean some of us have no choice.

I have one leg missing, but wasn’t ready to stop building and riding.

Over the summer I built this Harley and it won ‘Best Trike’ at the local bike show. It’s a 1340 Evo with a three-inch BDL primary, right-hand side handchange, front and rear brakes on one pedal, massive 18-inch rear wheels, a stainless sissy bar, and my son (Holdfast Customs) did the artwork on the little tank.

PHIL, CORNWALL I like trikes, Phil, always have, and I always think that people who diss ’em out of hand either’ve never ridden one and so don’t know how much fun they can be, or are the sort of dull, stupid people I don’t need to waste breath on. Cool trike, by the way! N.

Re: Gethin’s letter a couple of issues ago. I am a non-attender at the Brum Demo. No excuse! I didn’t go. I have a good collection of bikes, all different, all perfectly rideable, but I’m busy – lots to do, family, two jobs, a thousand things to do. What’s amiss then?

I go out on my Honda Blackbird and the Harley boys don’t really give you much time. I go out on my Harley and the Jap bike riders don’t give you much time either. I’m the same bloke, but in what’s become two camps – why’s that then? I’m 59 now and still keen to ride, talk about (lots of talk!), work on and watch bikes, but it seems to me that biking has become too trendy.

Gethin is right! Where are we? What are we doing? A lot of us are slotting biking into an image thing! Throwing 30 grand at a Harley and buying a DILLIGAF shirt don’t make a biker! Next time you sneer at a 125 or a moped in February cos it’s not a Big Twin, from the comfort of your van or car, remember they’re real bikers – everyday riders, not weekend sunshine riders. It sounds like I’m ranting, but really I’m asking myself what is it that makes a true biker? Could it be caring about something enough to change ourselves enough to be a force to be reckoned with? To acknowledge each other as bikers, not fashion statements?

I know, I know, perhaps I sound hormonal and, yeah, maybe I’m old, but I remember better days when everything wasn’t so controlled and life was exciting. If I could turn the clock back I would, but I can’t, so how about holding on to what’s still there while we can?

I’m not disgruntled, more disheartened.

WONKS It’s funny, but me and a mate were having a similar conversation not that long ago; he was saying that he felt bikers were nicer people, and the scene was nicer, back in the late Eighties/early Nineties. I agreed with him, but I also feel that it wasn’t just bikers – it was everyone. The world now seems to be a much more angry and aggressive place… N.

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Over the years I’ve met and known and still know many event organisers, and I know they all look at MAG events with envy when it comes to the quality volunteers that actually work behind the scenes.

Recruiting volunteers often isn’t a problem; recruiting the right volunteers with the right skill sets, and retaining them for event after event, is a problem. Now without doubt, of every event I’ve ever been involved with, Yorkshire MAG has the best, most skilled crew in the country. Let me explain a little.

This year my shifts at the Yorkshire Pudding were in ‘Control’ which, in simple terms, involves being a point of contact, sorting marshals out, and sorting problems out. Yorkshire marshals are wonderful, problems are a pain. Typically, the poor sod in Control will receive a long garbled message over the radio of some nightmarish insurmountable problem on the other side of the site, and at many events this’ll lead to frustration, confusion, pee’d off people, and a long time delay in dealing with the problem. At a MAG event like Pudding or the Farmyard or Stormin’, what’ll usually happen is a third voice’ll chime in at the end of the radio communication and simply say, ‘Yeah, I’ll sort this.’ And the problem vanishes. Oh what Michael Eavis’d pay for these folks! They say one volunteer is worth 10 men, but one of these volunteers is worth a hundred.

So how does Yorkshire do this? Care? Concern? Fraternity?

Brother (or sister) hood? I can’t think of the word for it, but, from the minute you rock up for build-up week or your shift, you’re looked after as part of the large extended family that is Yorkshire MAG. The weather this year meant that the first words spoken to you were usually, ‘Have you got a drink?’, followed by, ‘Are you eating with us tonight?’ As for Pete Walker wanting to rub sunscreen on everybody’s naked flesh, I think that was just a cunning ruse…

As an aside, if you’re part of that family and you’ve been at death’s door and the hospital has just allowed you out in your wheelchair for the day with your carer, best think twice before you turn up for a ‘Quiet day recuperating, Mr Thruss’! That was one very customised wheelchair that was returned to the hospital (and the crutches nearly ended up in Durham)!

Now I’d better explain about the boilers. Thinking I was on shift at 8am on the Friday, I’d had a Thursday evening of total sobriety, and opened up Control early at 6am. I read The Event Plan cover to cover, then The Risk Assessment, then checked the marshal rota, then checked all the radio channels, then checked all the radios and batteries in the racks, and checked the marshal vouchers. All was good so, knowing how much Yorkshire folk want hot water for tea and coffee when they come on shift, I switched both boilers on. The boilers refused to boil. It was odd that both boilers refused to work so off I went to check the big generator and the breakers. All were good. Next I checked the site distribution board. It was good. Both the fuses were good. I swapped the extension. It was good. Slowly panic began to build in me as I realised I’d knackered the boilers and any moment hordes of zombie-like Yorkshire folk’d be arriving at Control all wanting hot tea and coffee to go on shift with.

Out of the window bodies began to appear; ones and twos at first, but they slowly began to coalesce into groups like extras from The Walking Dead. In panic I rang Son Number One at CERN in Geneva and pulled him from chasing protons at 99.998 the speed of light and the world’s biggest science experiment, to talk his dad through the logical steps of why the boilers wouldn’t work. His analysis was ‘Dad, they’re f**k f**kty f**k f**ked’ before hanging up on me to go back to smashing protons into each other.

There were now Yorkshire early morning zombies pawing at the door to get in. Under the circumstances there were two options; own up or feign total ignorance. Out of self-preservation I chose the latter. In a confused state several of the zombies began prodding the boilers, repeating the same zombie words, ‘Carrd, tha’t is’ (which means ‘cold’ in English). I sat, sweating, hoping nobody would ask me if I knew anything but, just then, Dave turned up and said, ‘Oh, the boilers are f**ked, the electrician wrote them off last night.’ The relief of Mafeking swept over me – I was saved, and it wasn’t even 7am yet. Just then the two wonderful Yorkshire ladies that were actually rostered for Control arrived and said, ‘Dave, what’re you doing here? You’re not on ‘til 8pm!’

I’d misread my shifts and was 12 hours early!

DAVE WIGHAM The best letter each issue will now receive a free T-shirt from those lovely people, Laura and Mark, at Fat Maggot T-Shirts (www.fatmaggot.com) – get all your rally shirts etc. from them, they’re triffic!

WELL, WELL, WELL, WHERE DO I BEGIN? I SOLD MY OLD SHOVELHEAD CHOPPER AND BEGAN THE HUNT FOR A NEW DONOR AND THIS INVOLVED, AS MOST SHOVELHEAD CHOPPER STORIES DO, A TRIP TO WEATHERLEYS MOTORCYCLES (WWW.WEATHERLEYS MOTORCYCLES.CO.UK) TO SEE WHAT THEY HAD.

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WORDS: JAY RANSOME PICS: GARRY STUART

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#48

ISSUE

Forty-eight Autumn 2018

OCTOBER 2018

No. 330 October 2018 £4.30 UK Off-sale date 31/10/2018

MOTO MEMORIES // TECH TALK // MONTESA COTA 200 // BULTACO MATADOR

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AT THE CASTLE

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R 2018 ISSUE 174 OCTOBER

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