Carolina Parent Raleigh Jan 2018

January 2018 • Free

How to Survive Your Teen’s Hormonal Roller Coaster

MAKE MEMORIES, NOT MESSES Digital photo storage solutions

Cyber Health

The Top 5 Vitamins Your Child Should be Taking

Balancing digital protection with privacy carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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Almost as much as who we do it for.

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Not like pint-size adults. And we do it in a special place designed just for them. Where everything we do for these one-of-a-kind patients is backed by WakeMed Children’s, the community’s only children’s hospital.

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CONTENT › J A N UA R Y

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Puberty: A Parent's Survival Guide Tips for managing your child's hormonal roller coaster

18

The Top 5 Vitamins Your Kids Should be Taking Know what and how much of each your child needs

20

Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World How to balance protection with privacy

22

Make Memories — Not Messes Digital photo organization solutions

26

13 Play Dates Just for Moms Re-energize in a kid-free zone

28

Taming Thumbsucking in an Older Child Tips for breaking the habit

IN EVERY ISSUE

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5 January Online 6 Editor's Note FYI 8 Community 10 Education 12 Health CO LU M N S 30 Growing Up 33 Tech Talk 34 Understanding Kids 35 Hammers, Nails and Diaper Pails 36 College Transitions 38 Excursion 48 Faces and Places CALENDAR 41 Our Picks 42 Performances 43 Martin Luther King Jr. and

38

44 Exhibits 45 Daily

41

Black History Month

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For the Smile Of a Lifetime...

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Robert T. Christensen John R. Christensen DDS, MS, MS DDS, MS Pediatric Dentistry

Pediatric Dentistry & Orthodontics

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Plan a Family Ski Trip Book a weekend of fun at a nearby resort.

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HEALTH AND HAPPINESS Prevent Picky Eating

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Let Kids Take the Lead

Win Prizes

Discover three ways to introduce

Read the 11 secrets of

Learn about the importance

From toys to books to

new foods to choosy tots.

happy moms.

of child-led playtime.

performances, enter

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Here’s to Your Health morrismedianetwork.com

O

ur editorial staff always enjoys planning and producing our

January issue because we focus on family health. There are so many facets to consider for achieving good health within a family — different ages, personalities, tastes, body types and interests. Creating meals, routines and fitness strategies that work for all of the pieces making up your family’s puzzle can be challenging.

To simplify this task, our 2018 health issue delivers tips and information on the basics. Discover “The Top 5 Vitamins Your Kids Should be Taking” on pages 18-19, as well as how to choose a quality brand.

Parents of tweens and teens are all too familiar with riding their growing child’s hormonal roller coaster. “Puberty: A Parent’s Survival Guide” on pages 14-15 prepares

PUBLISHER

Katie Reeves · katie.reeves@morris.com

EDITOR

Beth Shugg · bshugg@carolinaparent.com

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Janice Lewine · jlewine@carolinaparent.com

ART DIRECTOR

Melissa Stutts · melissa.stutts@morris.com

DIGITAL DIRECTOR

Allison Hollins · allison.hollins@morris.com

DIGITAL EDITOR

Myra Wright · mwright@carolinaparent.com

SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST

Lauren Isaacs · lisaacs@carolinaparent.com

MEDIA CONSULTANTS

Candi Griffin • cgriffin@carolinaparent.com Sue Chen • schen@carolinaparent.com Jen Pieh • jpieh@carolinaparent.com

ADVERTISING SALES COORDINATOR Julianne Clune · julianne.clune@morris.com

MORRIS VISITOR PUBLICATIONS PRESIDENT

you for what to expect during these tumultuous years.

We wouldn’t be covering family health comprehensively if we didn’t include “Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World” on pages 20-21, which offers guidance on how to protect your child from cyberbullies and predators while also respecting his or her right to maintain some sense of online privacy.

DONNA KESSLER

REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENT OF SALES KRISTEN STANDISH

VP INTERNAL BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT KAREN RODRIGUEZ

DIRECTOR OF MANUFACTURING DONALD HORTON

Another theme we’re excited to cover in this issue is that of home organization.

BUSINESS MANAGER

We’ve targeted our efforts on storing and organizing digital photos in “Make Memories — Not Messes” on pages 22-23. Read tips from photo organization experts on efficient storage practices and cloud-based platforms such as Shutterfly and Google Photos.

SHELONDA WEST

PUBLICATION MANAGER KRIS MILLER

PRODUCTION COORDINATOR CHER WHEELER

Discover 13 play dates just for Mom on pages 26-27, tips for helping an older child break his or her thumbsucking habit on pages 28-29, how to raise socially conscious kids on page 30, seven ways technology can bring your family closer on page 33 and how high school freshmen should prepare for college on page 36.

Our calendar section, which begins on page 41, includes Martin Luther King Jr. and Black History Month events taking place in January and February, as well as live performances and wintry activities to keep your kids entertained and active. Check

CONTACT US

carolinaparent.com

Phone: 919-956-2430 · Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com · editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services.

Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards.

Copyright 2018. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

out carolinaparent.com for more cold-weather fun and prize-packed contests.

Happy New Year! All of us here at Carolina Parent hope 2018 is off to a positive and prosperous start for you.

A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman William S. Morris III

President & CEO William S. Morris IV

Beth Shugg, Editor 7

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

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› FYI

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community

BY JANICE LEWINE

Tour "North Carolina and World War I." Photo courtesy of the N.C. Museum of History

Museum Announces Record-Breaking Exhibit, Seeks Toys The groundbreaking exhibit “North

Skate With the Canes is Jan. 7.

Photo courtesy of the Carolina Hurricanes

Carolina and World War I” at the North Carolina Museum of History in Raleigh has surpassed 203,000 visitors since opening in April 2017, making it the most-visited exhibit of record at the museum.

Offering an immersive, sensory experience in a battlefield environment, “North Carolina and World War I” features life-sized

Skate With the Canes Event to Benefit Kids’ Charities Each year, the Carolina Hurricanes hosts Skate With the Canes, a behind-the-scenes event that allows fans to skate with players and staff from the professional hockey team at PNC Arena in Raleigh. Proceeds from the event benefit the Carolina Hurricanes Kids ‘N Community Foundation, which provides funding to children’s nonprofit organizations and education programs throughout North Carolina. This year’s event is Jan. 7, 1:30-4 p.m., and offers autograph sessions, locker room photos, appearances by Stormy and the Pepsi Storm Squad, and much more. Tickets are $85 per person. Learn more at nhl.com/ hurricanes/news/skate-with-the-canes-to-be-held-jan-7/c-292707436.

trench replica, interactive video and stories of Tar Heel bravery.

The 6,500-square-foot exhibit was planned, produced and built entirely in-house. It runs through Jan. 6, 2019.

The museum’s curation department is also seeking public donations of nostalgic toys from the 1950s to the 1990s,

Poe Center to Host Mother-Daughter Workshop The Poe Center for Health Education in Raleigh invites girls in grades four through seven and their mothers to take part in “Girl Talk,” a workshop on Jan. 6, 9-11 a.m., that addresses adolescent growth and development, as well as the physical, social and emotional changes that girls experience during puberty.

“Girl Talk” features 3-D theater exhibits, hands-on activities and candid discussion to foster motherdaughter communication. The registration fee is $25 for a mother/daughter pair and $10 for each additional daughter. Email Robin Pittman at r.pittman@poehealth.org or call 919-231-4006, ext. 322, to register. Learn more at poehealth.org/events/girl-talk-mother-daughter-workshop-9.

particularly those with a North Carolina connection, to add to its permanent collection or as loans for an upcoming exhibit. For a full list of requested toys, visit ncmuseumofhistory.org/museumis-collecting-toys.

STATS

U.S. toy sales in 2016 Outdoor and Sports Toys

$3.74 BILLION

Infant ⁄ Toddler⁄ Preschool Toys

$3.74 BILLION

Dolls

$2.91 BILLION $2.02 BILLION

Source: The Toy Association, toyassociation.org

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Games ⁄ Puzzles

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Photo credit: Amy Dixon, CNM, with baby

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carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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FYI

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education

BY KAREN SHORE

Students at four Wake County Public School System magnet schools will benefit from a $14.9 million federal grant.

Photo courtesy Paul Cory/WCPSS

Bettina Pope, an English teacher at Wake Forest High School, will visit the National World War I Museum and Memorial in the spring.

Photo courtesy of Bettina Pope and The National WWI Museum and Memorial

WCPSS Teacher Wins a Trip to the National World War I Museum and Memorial Earlier this school year, the National World War I Museum and Memorial in Kansas City, Missouri, launched a contest to “Send a Deserving Teacher on an Adventure!” Wake Forest High School's Bettina Pope was announced the winner from more than 2,000 entrants across the country. The contest, which ran Aug. 22-Sept. 8, involved a public nomination of a teacher who positively affects students’ lives, and includes travel, hotel accommodations, a personalized visit to the museum, and memorials for the winner and a guest.

Pope is currently in her 23rd year of teaching high school English, and has spent 19 of those years at Wake Forest High School. “When I found out I was the winner of the trip to Kansas City, I kept repeating, ‘Me? Me?’ and I was just blown away!”

Pope says. “This is such a wonderful and humbling opportunity. I can’t wait to visit Kansas City and explore the National World War I Museum and Memorial!” She plans to visit the museum this spring.

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Major Grant Awarded to WCPSS Magnet Schools Wake County Public School System recently received the largest competitive grant in its history — $14.9 million from the U.S. Department of Education in support of magnet school programs. Provided by the department’s Magnet Schools Assistance Program, the grant supports programs that will reduce socio-economic isolation in schools, build staff capacity and raise student achievement. Newly designated magnet schools, or those with significantly revised themes, qualified for consideration.

The grant will support the following WCPSS magnet themes, all of which are new to the district: • Bugg Magnet Elementary School’s Center for Design and Computer Sciences. All students will receive hands-on instruction in computer science, including computational thinking, coding, programming and human-computer interaction using digital tools.

• Lincoln Heights and Millbrook Magnet Elementary Schools’ Centers for Environmental Connections. This program will emphasize opportunities to investigate and connect with life outside both schools’ walls, providing students with authentic connections to the natural world.

• Southeast Raleigh High School University Connections: School of Design, Arts and Engineering. This theme encourages strong partnerships with local colleges and universities to prepare students for specific college and career pathways.

Parents may apply to any of these or other WCPSS magnet schools for the 2018-19 school year during the magnet application period, which is Jan. 10-31.

Durham School of the Arts Receives STEM Grant from the Toshiba America Foundation Durham School of the Arts received a $5,000 STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) grant from the Toshiba America Foundation in support of building and coding mini weather stations in Signe Waldbauer’s seventh-grade science class. Toshiba America Foundation funds grants for projects designed by individual classroom teachers.

Using the funds, students will build an air temperature sensor involving a tiny programmable computer. They will then code the computers to take measurements via sensors, upload the measurements to a website they will create, and draw conclusions about the air quality in the school and city. Duke Environmental Engineering and the Environmental Protection Agency will collaborate on the project by bringing experts into Waldbauer’s classroom.

“DSA is very proud to receive a prestigious Toshiba STEM grant for Signe Waldbauer's proposal to have her students build and code mini weather stations” says Durham School of the Arts Principal David Hawks. “We feel such a project will enhance the level of understanding that our students will gain in the science of weather.”

JANUARY

AERIAL, FITNESS AND SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES

Experience aerial, fitness and self-defense classes for kids and adults in Bonsai Studios’ supportive and fun atmosphere. Whether you want to take flight on aerial silks, sweat it out in BUTI yoga or find your inner warrior in a self-defense class, you’ll find the variety you’re looking for at Bonsai Studios (bonsaistudiosllc.com), which also offers birthday parties, camps and events. Enter to win three class passes by going to carolinaparent.com/cp/contests and clicking on the “Aerial, Fitness and Self-Defense Classes” contest post. We’re also throwing in a collection of health and fitness books. Type this code in the online form you’ll be required to fill out: CPaerialfun2018. We’ll announce a winner Jan. 25, 2018. Good luck!

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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FYI

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health

BY KATHERINE KOPP

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

New Blood Pressure Guidelines Released

Tips for a Healthy Family in 2018 Here are some suggestions from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to help your family start off the new year in a healthy way: • Choose healthy foods. A healthy eating plan emphasizes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats such as poultry and fish, beans, eggs, nuts, and fat-free or low-fat milk and milk products. A healthy diet is low in saturated fats, transfats, cholesterol, salt and added sugars.

• Be active. Try simple things such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Consider walking indoors in a mall if the weather is cold. Be active

• Be smoke-free. If you are ready to quit, call 800-QUIT-NOW (or 855-DEJELO-YA for Spanish speakers) to obtain free resources and referrals where you live.

• Get adequate sleep. Insufficient sleep is associated with a number of chronic diseases and conditions, such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, obesity and depression.

for at least two-and-a-half hours each week.

10.4% The percentage of babies born prematurely in North Carolina in 2016 — an increase from 9.7 percent in 2014.

Source: March of Dimes, North Carolina State Center for Health Statistics

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Recently released guidelines from the American College of Cardiology and the American Heart Association recommend that high blood pressure be treated earlier with lifestyle changes and, in some patients, medication, when readings reach 130/80 mmHg (millimeters of mercury) rather than 140/90 mmHg. The new guidelines are the first established since 2003. They lower the definition of high blood pressure to account for complications that can occur at lower numbers, and these new guidelines also allow for earlier intervention.

The new definition of high blood pressure will result in nearly half of the U.S. adult population — approximately 46 percent — having high blood pressure, with the greatest impact expected among younger people. Blood pressure categories in the new guidelines are: • Normal: Less than 120/80 mmHg • Elevated: Systolic between 120-129 mmHg and diastolic less than 80 mmHg • Stage 1: Systolic between 130-139 mmHg or diastolic between 80-89 mmHg • Stage 2: Systolic at least 140 mmHg or diastolic at least 90 mmHg • Hypertensive crisis: Systolic over 180 mmHg and/or diastolic over 120 mmHg, with patients needing prompt changes in medication if there are no other indications of problems, or immediate hospitalization if there are signs of organ damage.

Katherine Kopp is a freelance writer in Chapel Hill.

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Come visit our school to see how we implement the Gifted and Talented Theme as well as the Academically or Intellectually Gifted program.

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We look forward to meeting you on a future tour!

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See Things Differently

PUBERTY: A Parent’s Survival Guide Tips for managing your child’s hormonal roller coaster

BY CAITLIN WHEELER

No matter how advanced parents are in the 21st century, it’s normal to feel a pang of panic when it comes to talking to your child about puberty and sex. While there is no easy way to broach the subject, preparing for and getting comfortable with having this necessary discussion need not be a dreaded task.

When a child goes through the physical, cognitive and emotional changes associated with puberty, there’s a wide range of what is considered normal. Pediatricians typically rely on puberty milestones, known as the “Tanner stages,” to predict when your daughter will get her menstrual period, or how far along your son is in a growth spurt.

The only certainty about developmental timing is that your child’s growth experience is likely different from his or her peers. Already sensitive about a changing appearance, your child may be particularly self-conscious if he or she is the first — or last — in that peer group to enter puberty.

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com charlotteparent.com

Puberty for Girls

Puberty for Boys

Let her know what to expect. On average, girls start puberty earlier than boys — between ages 8 and 14, with the average age being 11. The first signs of female puberty typically include growth of pubic hair and breasts, awareness of body odor and acne. Your daughter’s body may change shape, generally becoming fuller and wider at the hips.

One to two years after the first signs of puberty, she likely will begin menstruating. At this time, consider providing her with a book that might explain the changes in more detail, such as “The Care and Keeping of You” by Valorie Schaefer, (American Girl, 1998. Versions are available for ages 8 and older, and ages 10 and older.); or “Bunk 9’s Guide to Growing Up: Secrets, Tips and Expert Advice on the Good, the Bad, and the Awkward” by Adah Nuchi (Workman Publishing, 2017).

Let him know what to expect. Boys tend to start showing signs of puberty about a year later than girls — between ages 9 and 15, with the average age being 12. Early signs of puberty for boys include growth of pubic hair, increased sweat gland production — aka body odor — and growth of genitals, which is hidden, unlike the very public growth of breasts in girls. Later stages for boys include voice changes, acne, increased muscle mass and a final growth spurt. Keep an eye out for the most obvious of the early signs: sudden growth spurts, an increasing desire for independence and hard-to-ignore body odor.

Provide her with what she’ll need before she needs it.

“You don’t want girls to have a fearful experience when they start bleeding,” says Dr. Curtis McDonald, medical director at the Charlotte Pediatric Clinic. He suggests putting a strategic plan in place so your daughter is prepared, no matter where or when she gets her first period. Give her a care package to keep in her closet and backpack, which could include deodorant, over-the-counter facial washes and creams, pads, tampons (along with tips for how to use them), and remedies for cramping, such as ibuprofen and a hot water bottle or heating pad.

Remind her of the importance of good health and hygiene. Getting regular exercise and eating a healthy diet can help a tween girl feel good about her body, improve her mood and help her focus. Girls in particular need to get plenty of calcium, Vitamin D and iron, McDonald says. Plus, exercise and healthy eating can help alleviate adolescent stresses and influence lifelong routines.

Be supportive and keep communication lines open.

As your daughter’s hormones kick in, her motivations may become more socially focused and her need for independence may increase, according to the National Institutes of Health’s Human Brain Mapping study, published in May 2010. Be prepared for mood swings and “attitude” as she deals with shifting hormones. But remember: You are the adult. Try to keep your cool if she gets frustrated or upset with you. Whether she admits it or not, she needs your support and love.

Know her world. “It may be cliché to talk about girl drama, but it is very real,” says Jeff Parkin, guidance counselor at Durham Academy Middle School in Durham. “The drama ramps up in sixth grade as girls become more socially aware and friends become central, but by eighth grade they are usually mature enough to overcome their issues.”

Familiarize him with the stages of puberty. Be sure to include information about girls in your discussions, since they will likely start to loom over him and develop breasts before he even enters his first stages of puberty. His knowing what to expect might make him more sympathetic and less self-conscious. Provide him with a detailed and approachable book for boys that explains the changes, like “What’s Happening to Me?” by Alex Frith (Usborne Books, 2006).

Remind him to maintain good hygiene. Parkin has observed that boys don’t express the same angst over puberty and body changes that girls do. This lack of anxiety is comforting, McDonald says, but it also means parents may need to nag at sons about showering daily, brushing their teeth and combing their hair until they become habits.

“It’s a transitional time,” Parkin says. “They don’t have much concern for self-image so they won’t do these things on their own, but it’s an important lesson in growing up — to take responsibility for your appearance.”

While teen boys might be less concerned with selfimage than girls, late or early bloomers may be sensitive about being different, or worried that they will never grow.

Be aware of this possibility and remind your son of the wide variety in normal development.

Taking on the Teen Years Clear things up. Not all teens suffer from severe acne, but even dealing with an occasional pimple can be troubling.

“Teens are shy about it,” McDonald says. “My patients won’t bring it up on their own.”

Without criticizing your child’s appearance, explain that hormones cause skin changes during puberty and that good hygiene and a daily cleanser can be powerful tools in warding off outbreaks. Over-the-counter acne treatments have “gotten so much better, and many are as effective as prescriptions,” McDonald says. Your pediatrician can offer additional remedies if your child’s case is severe. charlotteparent.com carolinaparent.com || JANUARY JANUARY 2018 2018

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ENGAGING CHILDREN’S HEARTS, MINDS AND HANDS EVERY DAY

Please join us for preschool and elementary tours of our warm and welcoming 18-acre campus!

Preschool tours: Jan. 5, Jan. 9, Jan. 19, Jan. 23, Feb. 2, Feb. 6, Feb. 9, Feb. 13 Elementary tours: Jan. 10, Jan. 23, Feb. 6, Feb. 21 Sign up online at www.raleighschool.org/admissions or send us an email at admissions@raleighschool.org 1141 Raleigh School Drive | Raleigh, NC 27607 www.raleighschool.org 919-546-0788 COMMUNITY. CHALLENGE. INQUIRY. RESPECT.

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VALENTINE’S WEEKEND

My Fair Lady in Concert FRI, FEB 16 | 8PM SAT, FEB 17 | 3PM & 8PM

Wesley Schulz, conductor Saturday Sponsor: Raleigh Marriott City Center

One of America’s favorite musicals— performed in a concert setting on Valentine’s weekend, with Broadway singers in period costume.

A Celtic Celebration FRI, MAR 16 | 8PM SAT, MAR 17 | 3PM & 8PM

Stuart Chafetz, conductor Weekend Sponsor: Celito Communications, Inc.

Singers and Irish step dancers explore a wide range of Irish and Celtic repertoire.

Tickets start at just $18!*

ncsymphony.org | 919.733.2750 *Price does not include sales tax

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Understand teen brain development. Teenagers’ brains do not function like adult brains. While the thrill-seeking, risktaking, peer-following part has developed, the reasoning area of a teen’s brain does not fully develop until a teen is in his or her mid-20s, according to Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health’s “The Teen Years Explained: A Guide to Healthy Adolescent Development” (Center for Adolescent Health, 2009). Keep these very natural tendencies in mind as you are telling your adolescent to “just say no.” One way to protect your teen may be to keep him or her as busy as possible with constructive activities, or to simply have him or her steer clear of attractively dangerous situations.

Make “the talk” an ongoing conversation. Forget about “the talk.”

Issues associated with puberty and growing up should be part of an ongoing and open discussion — not a single, embarrassingly intense lecture, which puts too much pressure on you and your child. Focus instead on open communication, so that when an issue comes up, you are both comfortable having a conversation.

Considering the proliferation of sexual references in movies and on TV, social media and the internet, if you wait until you think your teen should know, you are probably too late.

“It’s better for a child to hear it from a parent or other mature and trusted source rather than on the bus or on social media,” says Dr. Laura Sinai of Signature Pediatrics in Charlotte.

“The best strategy is to be offensive and provide accurate information that reflects your own values.”

Another reason to start having conversations earlier rather than later is that several studies analyzed in a citation published by the Environmental Protection Agency in 2008 (and revised in 2017) concluded that the age of puberty in both boys and girls has been inching younger.

“Kids are developing physically without the cognitive tools to handle it,” says Marcia E. Herman-Giddens, an adjunct professor at the University of North Carolina Gillings School of Global Public Health, who first identified the issue in a 1997 study at Duke University. “Being open with young children, and providing them with information that will keep them safe, is absolutely key.”

She points out that this information is just as important for kids who don’t develop early so they have context for treating their peers with respect and understanding.

North Carolina public schools, and most private schools, start some form of sex education in the fifth grade. “We find that fifth-graders still have that aspect of curiosity and openness,” Parkin says. “By sixth [grade], they tend to be more self-conscious and less likely to talk.”

Consider starting the conversation with your child before he or she starts learning about it at school or from the media. Keep in mind that the school sessions provide a great

opportunity to continue the conversation by asking your child what he or she learned, and whether he or she has any followup questions.

Know what they know. Today’s youth have access to a lot more than the basic “birds and bees” information. Many teens have seen internet pornography by the time they are seniors in high school, according to an August 2013 Psychology Today article titled, “Overexposed and Under-Prepared: The Effects of Early Exposure to Sexual Content.” If your teen has no real experience with sex and then is exposed to porn, porn may become his or her baseline for how he or she views sex.

“It’s important to bring this up with kids before they see it,” Sinai says. “You should let them know that porn is about as real as what might happen in a Road Runner cartoon, where the coyote falls off a mountain and hops right back up. Tell them and tell them again: Real people don’t treat real people this way. It is just terrible interpersonal dynamics.”

Know your resources. Every child needs someone to talk to as he or she goes through puberty. If you’re uncomfortable doing this, find a trusted friend or family member who isn’t.

“If a child hides some anxiety inside, then it eats away at them and makes it worse,” McDonald says. “Pull back the curtain and make sure they have the information they need to be comfortable with who they are becoming. Empower kids with information they can handle.”

From “It’s NOT the Stork” for preschoolers by Robie H. Harris (Candlewick Press, August 2006) to “The Teenage Body Book” for teens by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman (Penguin Random House, August 2016), there are helpful books to read with your child no matter what age you decide to introduce him or her to conversations about puberty and hormones. There are also excellent resources online for teens, such as the Center for Young Men’s Health (youngmenshealthsite.org) and the Center for Young Women’s Health (youngwomenshealth.org).

If websites and books don’t fully answer your child’s questions, consult with a professional. Your pediatrician should be your family’s first resource, and can put you in touch with a psychologist who specializes in talking with parents of teens.

Finally, remember that it is absolutely appropriate for your child to slowly break away from you. Celebrate this growing independence, while keeping your child safe and informed until he or she has matured enough to move forward without your loving assistance.

Caitlin Wheeler is a freelance writer living in Durham. carolinaparent.com || JANUARY JANUARY 2018 2018 charlotteparent.com

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THE

TOP 5 VITAMINS

Your Kids Should be Taking

BY MICHELE JONCZAK

W

hile kids who consume a well-balanced diet that includes healthy amounts of dairy, fruits, veggies, grains, protein and fats get most of the nutrients they need, vitamins are a good option for giving children’s bodies what they need when blood tests show deficiencies in certain areas.

Wanda M. Koszewski, an associate professor and chair of the human nutrition department at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, South Carolina, recommends that parents encourage kids to eat a well-balanced diet so they get the vitamins their bodies need through food.

She says there's a “delicate balance between what is good and what is too much” when it comes to vitamins in pill form.

There are five vitamins in particular that a growing child should consume in sufficient amounts or supplement his or her diet with when necessary, says Tracy Owens, a boardcertified sports and clinical dietitian at Triangle Nutrition Therapy in Raleigh.

“We have to choose vitamins — our bodies can’t make them, and they are important across the age spectrum,” Owens says.

Vitamin A Vitamin A is absorbed in the presence of fat and is essential for healthy eyes and skin cell production, a well-functioning and strong immune system, and good vision. It can be found in foods like liver, carrots, egg yolks, green leafy vegetables and fortified milk.

Daily Suggested Amounts* 0-6 months: 400 micrograms 7-12 months: 500 micrograms 1-3 years: 300 micrograms 4-8 years: 400 micrograms

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

9-13 years: 600 micrograms 14-18 years: 700 micrograms for females, 900 micrograms for males

Vitamin D Vitamin D helps bodies absorb calcium for healthy bones and teeth. Children can get the amount of vitamin D they need by consuming foods like milk and fatty fish, and by getting plenty of fresh air on sunny days, since vitamin D is absorbed through sun exposure.

Owens says breast-fed babies can get the vitamin D they need through adequate sun exposure and from their mother’s breast milk.

If breast-fed babies aren’t getting enough, however, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends they get 400 international units of vitamin D each day through a supplement. Babies who consume formula in place of or in addition to breast milk are already getting the recommended amount of

vitamin D, since formula is already supplemented with it.

Daily Suggested Amounts* Infants-12 months: 400 international units 12 months and older: 600 international units

Vitamin C Vitamin C, also known as ascorbic acid, boosts immunity, protects cells, maintains healthy gums, heals wounds and helps make collagen — a protein that gives structure to hair, skin, nails, bones, ligaments and tendons. Vitamin C also helps bodies absorb iron, an important component of hemoglobin, which carries oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. Vitamin C can be found in broccoli, potatoes, citrus foods, red peppers and tomatoes. Owens says consuming too much vitamin C, however, can cause stomach problems like diarrhea and nausea.

Chapel Hill Pediatrics

&Adolescents

Welcome NEW and Established Patients

MultivitaminGuide, at multivitaminguide.org, which rates multivitamin brands based on safety, nutritional composition, bioavailability and overall effectiveness, recommends Xtend-Life Total Balance Children, Dr. Mercola Children’s Multivitamins and Garden of Life Vitamin Code Kids.

• Care from birth through college •Complimentary “meet and greet” sessions • Same-day appointments • Comprehensive sports & camp physicals Appointment hours

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Daily Suggested Amounts* 0-6 months: 40 milligrams 7-12 months: 50 milligrams 1-3 years: 15 milligrams (don’t exceed 400 milligrams) 4-8 years: 25 milligrams (don’t exceed 650 milligrams) 9-13 years: 45 milligrams (don’t exceed 1200 milligrams) 14-18 years: 65 milligrams for girls, 75 milligrams for boys (don’t exceed 1800 milligrams)

Vitamin K Vitamin K is a fat-soluble vitamin that helps blood to clot and assists with ensuring proper bone health. Foods rich in vitamin K include kale, spinach, broccoli and edamame.

Daily Suggested Amounts* 0-6 months: 2 micrograms 7-12 months: 2.5 micrograms 1-3 years: 30 micrograms 4-8 years: 55 micrograms 9-13 years: 60 micrograms 14-18 years: 75 micrograms

Vitamin E Vitamin E is an antioxidant

that helps protect cells from damage caused by free radicals in the environment.

Foods high in vitamin E include broccoli, peaches, nuts and whole-wheat products.

Walk in Availability: Chapel Hill Office:

7:15-7:50 am and 1-7 pm M-F; 9 am- 2 pm Sat-Sun

Durham Office: 7:15 -7:50 am M-F

Hillsborough Office: 8 - 8:30 am M-F

Daily Suggested Amounts* 0-6 months: 4 milligrams 7-12 months: 5 milligrams 1-3 years: 6 milligrams 4-8 years: 7 milligrams 9-13 years: 11 milligrams 14 years and older: 15 milligrams If you choose to give your kids vitamins, Owens recommends bioavailability brands, which are high quality; come in a natural, nonsynthetic form; and are more likely to be digested and absorbed by your child’s body. *Source: National Institutes of Health Office of Dietary Supplements Michele Jonczak is a Raleigh writer and mom to Holden (7), Hayes (5) and Emery (3).

919-942-4173

Open daily including weekends and holidays.

Serving you in 3 locations: Chapel Hill: 205 Sage Road., Suite 100 Durham: 249 East NC Hwy 54, Suite 230 Hillsborough: 1000 Corporate Drive, Suite 401

www.chapelhillpeds.com carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

19

Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World World

BALANCING PROTECTION WITH PRIVACY

BY LAUREN RAMIREZ

T

here’s a general consensus in the parenting world: We want what’s best for our children, and we want more for them than we had growing up.

This desire to supply our kids with the best of the best is personified in the wide array of electronic devices available to them.

Our children can hold the entire world in their hands, with access to knowledge and entertainment mere clicks away. And let’s face it — these devices also help keep our kids wrangled long enough for us to get a few things done.

Sure, the internet and all its collective wonders can do a world of good for our children, but it can also serve up a lot of negatives. Are we successfully teaching our kids how to navigate the internet and social media responsibly when they encounter cyberbullying — or cyber strangers who have inappropriate intentions?

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The Stats Brain Balance Achievement Centers — a network of educational facilities that address behavioral, social and learning difficulties in kids by integrating sensory motor stimulation, academic stimulation and nutrition — recently surveyed 2,000 American parents about their children’s screen time habits. According to the results, 92 percent of kids spend more than an hour in front of a screen each day, which can significantly alter their developing brains. Brain Balance Achievement Centers believes more than two hours of screen time per day can cause a child’s brain to shrink and lose volume, leading to a brain imbalance.

According to the data: • 22 percent of the children in the families surveyed are addicted to screens.

• 70 percent get one to three hours of screen time each day.

• 22 percent get more than three hours.

• 16 percent of the parents surveyed have used a TV or iPad to pacify their children.

This statistic goes up to 23 percent for children who have certain difficulties.

Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization that provides education and advocacy to families to promote safe technology and media for children, has also collected data that supports and even extends Brain Balance Achievement Centers’ findings. A 2015 Common Sense Media report states that children ages 8-12 use media for entertainment purposes an average of six hours a day, and teenagers ages 13-18 use it for entertainment purposes an average of nine hours a day.

This does not include time spent using media for schoolwork or homework.

Furthermore, a 2017 Common Sense Media study found that 98 percent of children ages 8 and younger live in a home that has some type of mobile device, and 95 percent of families with children in this age group have a smartphone. Clearly, today’s tweens and teens are experienced digital media consumers, which opens them up to challenges unlike any their parents experienced during childhood.

Cyberbullies and Dangerous Minds Cyberbullying comes in many forms — ranging from verbal abuse on social media to encouraging “suicide games.” A game known as the Blue Whale Challenge is particularly disturbing. When playing, teens are given increasingly intense tasks to complete for 50 days that lead to self-harm and culminate in suicide. Terri Erbacher, a clinical associate professor in Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine’s department of psychology, describes this troubling trend.

“Teens challenge each other to play via social media, and players are assigned game administrators who elicit their personal information that may later be used against them,” she says. “Players are required to upload photos of the completed tasks and, if they refuse, game administrators may threaten to harm family members or come and do the task for them. It becomes extremely difficult to say no.”

Laura Tierney, president and founder of The Social Institute of Raleigh, says that while keeping kids safe online is harder now than ever before, open dialogue between parents and children is still one of the best ways to combat cyber threats.

“I believe the greatest threat facing kids online today is associating social media with actual self-worth, because it affects their mental health,” Tierney says. “Let’s take a second and think about what that feels like as a teenager. Remember passing around your yearbook to classmates for their signatures? You were excited to see what your close friends would write. You

worried about what your crush would write. You were anxious about what old friends would write if you didn’t hang out with them anymore. You’d rather have lots of people sign it rather than no one. Now imagine that happening 100 times a day in a yearbook that all your friends can read whenever they want.”

Tierney says it’s no surprise that in The Social Institute’s survey of 1,700 students in grades 7-12, 29 percent reported feeling that they’re under a lot of pressure to get a high number of likes, shares and comments on their posts.

“Social media allows us to socialize and connect with friends, but it also allows us to associate our self-worth with public feedback,” Tierney says. “It’s more important than ever to talk one-on-one with our children about social media every day, while encouraging them to continue pursuing extracurricular hobbies that strengthen friendships and personal self-esteem.”

Parental Monitoring Programs These research findings, while not entirely shocking, are mission-critical to parents everywhere who face a scary reality: When kids use their devices, they may not be using them alone. Tweens, teens and even younger children can be prey for cyberbullying and the most volatile online predators.

T.J. Lane of Durham, an adoptive parent, middle school teacher and tennis coach, recognizes the dangers facing his adolescent son. After extensive research, he purchased a parental control program called Qustodio.

“I can monitor every single tap he makes with his little fingers — from texts to web searches,” Lane says. “I can even see when he changes his wallpaper or lowers the screen brightness. It’s amazing.”

Social Judo, an app created by New England-based brain surgeon Dr. Matt Phillips, also alerts parents if a child conducts prohibited actions on his or her device, such as using profanity, searching for pornography, engaging in cyberbullying or sexting. Other applications that help parents monitor their children’s online

activity include Net Nanny, Norton Family Premier, Kaspersky Safe Kids and Circle With Disney, to name a few.

Set Clear Expecations Kate Paquin, an Apex-based family coach, says the best way to help tweens and teens navigate an increasingly digital world is to outline expectations with your child before you give him or her that first smartphone.

“The key is to establish strict guidelines, just like you would if they were driving a car or going out with their friends,” she says.

“The guidelines can be loosened later on, but they must be set from the get-go.”

Paquin, who teaches a class called “Social Media for Parents of Teens and Preteens,” also offers the following tips for keeping your kids safe in a digital world.

• Know your teen’s passwords. “If I can’t log in to one of my children’s phones, the phone is taken away,” she says. This is especially important because many teens know how to make multiple accounts for one app. Your child may have one Instagram account for their parents to see and a “Finsta,” or “fake Instagram” account, for their circle of friends to view.

• Be aware of what teens are doing on any device that connects to the internet, not just their smartphone.

• Keep the family computer in an open space.

• Use caution when posting pictures of children on Facebook and other social media accounts. “Parents should make profiles in Facebook private,” she says.

“Your pictures of young children ... can be prime ground for pedophiles.”

This article includes reprinted copy from “Digital Privacy: Is It OK to Spy on Your Teen,” published by Carolina Parent in February 2015 at carolinaparent.com/cp/ digital-privacy-is-it-ok-to-spy-on-your-teen.

Lauren Ramirez of Lexington is a new mom and higher education professional. carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

21

Make Memories — Not Messes DIGITAL PHOTO ORGANIZATION SOLUTIONS

BY MANDY HOWARD

A

s a new mom, I had the best intentions. I could envision my daughter’s first-year scrapbook with every photo I snapped.

But as one child turned into three, months turned into years, phones broke and technology changed, I lost all control.

I have photos on old phones, new phones, computers, jump drives and memory cards. Some are printed and a few made it into photo albums. But the truth is, our memories have become a big mess I’m not sure I can clean up.

I asked several of my friends how they organize their digital photos and the responses I received ranged from bemused wit — “If you figure it out, let me know!” — to beleaguered camaraderie — “Is there anyone who has a business of doing this, because I need them!”

CARD-CARRYING ORGANIZERS One online search revealed that, of course, there are photo organization businesses. In fact, there is even an association: the Association of Personal Photo Organizers (appo.org), a professional membership organization that trains, supports and provides industry tools to members, who are known as Personal Photo Organizers. Those who are interested in joining can choose from professional memberships ($349 annually) or corporate memberships ($450 annually). APPO equips members with the skills to “rescue, manage, organize and save your photos — allowing you to easily find, preserve and share your stories.”

Chapel Hill mom and entrepreneur Amy Hoogervorst is an APPO member who is passionate about her work. “I started preserving my family’s history as a scrapbooker about 20 years ago and then I was a direct-sales scrapbook consultant, teaching people how to make albums for themselves,” Hoogervorst says. “When digital photography came along, I started showing people how to make digital albums.”

Before long, people were asking Hoogervorst for help and she began her own business: Photo Organize Me (photoorganize.me).

CREATE A SYSTEM Hoogervorst’s first tip to clients concerns methodology. “Create a system and stick with it. I think forming good habits is more important,” she says. “Consistency is key.”

That sort of advice might make busy parents shudder, but Raleigh mom and writer Jen Foster feels inspired by it.

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“A few years ago I was in the exact same spot you are now,” she told me. “The first method I tried was buying a ‘photo computer.’ I was going to keep everything in that one spot. I spent days transferring and organizing all photos there.”

It wasn’t long, however, before Foster identified flaws in her plan. First, downloading pictures from her phone to her computer didn’t happen as consistently as she’d planned.

Second, the only way she could search for photos was by the dates they had been taken. “I would have a picture in mind, but would have to go folder by folder because I couldn’t remember exactly when it was taken.” Last, and scariest of all, the computer flashed what she referred to as “the blue screen of death” one day.

Around that same time, Foster purchased a new smartphone. It was love at first download.

“I got the Google Pixel [smartphone] and it automatically downloads all the pictures I take into Google Photos,” she says.

She liked it so much, she transferred all of the photos from her “photo computer” to Google Photos as well. “It has become automatic. I can find photos easily and know I’ll always have them,” Foster says.

Other popular photo storage platforms include Shutterfly, Flickr, Prime Photos and Slidebox (see page 23). Whether one of these or another of the platform options out there are right for you, Hoogervorst advises you take the process one step further. “Back [photos] up in more than one location,” she says.

“Don’t rely solely on an outside vendor.”

Foster agrees. “My fear was, what if Google [Photos] goes away? It’s highly unlikely, but I hate having all my photos in one place that is owned by someone else,” she points out.

Hoogervorst says remembering what is at stake will keep you motivated.

“Your grandparents’ black-and-white photos stored in a shoebox under the bed are more likely to see the year 2050 than your daughter’s first birthday photos. That’s because hard drives fail,” she warns. “Cell phones die watery deaths in toilets and bathtubs, and technology changes. Take care to download and back up your priceless images. And print the ones you love the most. You’ll never regret the time you spend doing this, but you may regret not having done it.”

Mandy Howard is a Raleigh freelance writer and mother of three.

Left: Raleigh mom and writer Jen Foster, pictured with her family, uses a Google Pixel phone and Google Photos to store and share photos.

Photo courtesy of the Foster family Below: Chapel Hill mom and entrepreneur Amy Hoogervorst is a member of the Association of Personal Photo Organizers.

Photo courtesy of Amy Hoogervorst

POPULAR PHOTO STORAGE SYSTEMS Google Photos: Automatic upload options for smartphones make Google Photos a great choice for effortlessly backing up photos. The platform allows you to search by name, face, location or date. Unlimited cloud storage space and cross-device syncing with minimal compression also makes this a great option for moms who never want to miss a smile. photos.google.com Shutterfly: Founded in 1999, Shutterfly is still a fan favorite and leader in online digital photo storage solutions. Its greatest strength – and bread and butter – is photo sharing and printing.

Shutterfly offers countless and frequently updated options for

printing — from photo books to mugs. shutterfly.com Flickr: Offering 1 terabyte of free cloud storage to manage and organize mobile photos, Flickr has updated much of its functionality.

You can turn on automatic uploading and smart search features so organization doesn’t depend on the process of tagging photos in the front end. The default camera view groups photos by date. Enhanced features allow users to easily share photos via social media platforms. flickr.com Prime Photos: A quickly growing contender in the photo organization industry is Prime Photos for Amazon Prime

subscribers.

Offering unlimited cloud storage of original resolution photos, as well as 5 gigabytes for video and document storage, the Prime Photos app automatically syncs with connected devices, so your photos can be accessed from any of them. Other than the incredible amount of storage offered, its strengths include artificial intelligence-assisted search features and family sharing. amazon.com

to mark it as a favorite or tap the album to sort photos into a file.

There are also tools for comparing similar photos to determine the best of the 25 first-day-of-school pictures you took. slidebox.co

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Slidebox: Featuring a fun, Tinder-like approach to organizing photos on your phone, this interface presents your photos in a slideshow format. Swipe up to delete a photo, swipe down

The Photo Organizers: thephotoorganizers.com Association of Personal Photo Organizers: appo.org Photo Organize Me: photoorganize.me

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

23

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25

13 PLAY DATES

26

Just for Moms

JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

A

lthough we’re rarely alone, motherhood can sometimes feel a little lonely. Spending time with a few understanding friends to vent, laugh and re-energize in a kid-free zone is a healthy and fun way to shake off the blues.

“We tend to be able to schedule nap time for toddlers, bath time for babies to help them relax and even make it easy for our partners to hit the basketball court with buddies. But when it comes to us, we forget that we need the same recharging,” says Maria Bailey, host of Mom Talk Radio, author, talk show host and founder of National Mom’s Nite out.

Whether you have a gaggle of friends or just a few you’d like to know better, here are 13 ideas to fire up some fun.

1. Tap your inner Matisse. Studies suggest that artistic engagement can reduce stress and anxiety. Many art studios offer instructor-led, one-time classes created specifically for ladies’ nights out. Feel a pleasant drop in your blood pressure while painting and sipping wine in the company of friends. No cleanup required!

2. Puzzle it out. If your group loves mystery games, plan a gathering at a mystery “escape room.” In this entertainment trend, two or more people are locked in a room and must find and follow clues to discover a way to break out of it within a set amount of time.

3. Pamper and primp. Schedule manicures and pedicures for you and your friends. Or check out a blow out bar, where you and your friends can sip refreshments while getting a signature blow dry and style, or makeup touch-up. Depending on the size of your group, some spas will book an event just for your party.

4. Swirl, sniff and sip. Head to a winery for a relaxing wine tasting or host your own.

Choose a group of wines from a specific region ranging from dry to sweet, and hide the names behind a large bow or decorative

material. Place a placard with a number in front of each bottle. Give each guest a glass with her own wine charm. Provide scoring sheets for each wine your guests taste. Serve light appetizers including cheese and crackers, chocolates and palette-cleansing fruits.

5. Coordinate a book swap. Invite your friends to bring gently used books, cookbooks and magazines they no longer want. Guests can choose as many books to take home as they brought to give away.

Stephanie Perry, a contributor to Readers Lane (readerslane.com), suggests providing Post-it notes so your friends can share their thoughts about a particular book.

“As they peruse, guests can write in their own responses — and some interesting ‘conversations’ can result,” she says.

6. Get pinning. Host a party during which your guests bring snacks and beverages they found on Pinterest. When mom of three Jen Conrad hosted a Pinterest Party, she and her friends made a scented sugar scrub they found on the site. “Everything we ate, drank and did was a Pinterest idea,” she says.

7. Host a “My Favorite Things” party.

What is one kitchen gadget, makeup or cleaning product you can’t live without?

Hide your item in a gift bag and host a gift exchange with friends. Once everyone has opened her bag, each participant explains why she loves the product she brought to give away. “We all took notes so we could run out and try the fun stuff,” says Amber Shepard, a mom of two. Provide each guest with a complimentary notepad and pen to keep track of tips and ideas.

8. Stock the freezer. As if the school year isn’t hectic enough, the holidays are right around the corner. Make mealtime easier by planning ahead with a frozen meal exchange. Each friend should arrive with enough four-person servings for the number of attendees. If five of you participate, each should arrive with five meals. To simplify

the exchange, agree on a budget in advance and choose guests who have similar dietary requirements. Casseroles, lasagnas, marinated meats, soups and stews work well.

9. Plan a cover dish party. “I love this idea because it allows you to have meaningful conversations with other moms and deepen those relationships,” Bailey says. Keep the event simple for your friends by requesting that each dish include five ingredients or less.

10. Explore local cuisine. Gather your foodie friends together and dine at popular, nearby eateries while enjoying great conversation. Take turns choosing one restaurant per month. To build continuity, make the event a standing occasion on the same night each month.

11. Catch the latest flicks. Head to the theater to watch a movie with your friends.

After the film, review it together over dinner or dessert. If budgets are tight, take turns hosting movie-watching and dining parties at each friend's house.

12. Form a culture club. Experience the fine arts with other friends who share a similar zest for integrating more local culture into their lives. Attend different events every four to six weeks, like jazz concerts, live theater, symphony performances or museum exhibits.

13. Be spontaneous. Light the fire pit or gather around your fireplace and invite a few friends over for a last-minute glass of wine, cocktails or mocktails. By simply creating time for you and your friends to chat, you’ll deepen your friendships and nurture your spirit, too.

Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines, looks forward to a mom’s night out at least once every six weeks. She is the author of “Confidently Connected: A Mom’s Guide to a Satisfying Social Life.” carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

27

Taming Thumbsucking in an Older Child

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

BY MYRNA BETH HASKELL

I

t’s not uncommon to see a toddler walking around with her thumb in her mouth. However, once a child reaches school age, she is expected to have stopped sucking her thumb.

When this isn’t the case, social consequences and dental problems become concerns. For the child who continues to suck her thumb, the habit has become a crutch. At this point, it will take patience, understanding and a joint effort by both the child and her parents to eliminate the prolonged habit.

WHY DO CHILDREN SUCK THEIR THUMBS? Thumbsucking in infants is quite common and very natural. According to the American Dental Association, “Children suck on things because sucking is one of baby’s natural reflexes. It may make them feel secure and happy, and helps them learn about their world to suck on their thumbs, fingers, pacifiers or other objects.”

For an older child, however, thumbsucking is not a simple reflex.

The older child might still suck her thumb to relieve boredom or tension.

She also might suck her thumb because she is insecure. In some cases, an older child might only suck her thumb to soothe herself to sleep, or when she is not feeling well.

WHEN DOES THUMBSUCKING BECOME A PROBLEM? The ADA reports that children usually stop thumbsucking between ages 2 and 4. When it continues into the school years, it may cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth and alignment of the teeth.

“When permanent teeth start to come in, thumbsucking could prevent proper spacing and tooth alignment,” the ADA states. “In severe cases, it

can even change the formation of the roof of the mouth.”

Although most school-age children who suck their thumbs do so in private (they become aware that thumbsucking is not an accepted practice), there is a small percentage of children who continue sucking during the day. In addition to causing physical problems for children, thumbsucking can also impact a child’s social acceptance and development if other children take note of it and tease a child at school or in other social settings.

HOW CAN YOU HELP AN OLDER CHILD STOP SUCKING HIS OR HER THUMB? If your child sucks her thumb because she feels insecure, focus on eliminating the cause of the anxiety. If she tends to suck her thumb because of boredom, offer an alternative activity to distract her. If the habit only occurs during sleep (when she is unaware), you might want to consider a “thumb guard” — an adjustable, plastic cap that is secured to the thumb and not easily removed. Ask your pediatric dentist if there is a particular guard he recommends.

In their book, “Good Behavior,” Stephen Garber, Ph.D., Marianne Garber, Ph.D., and Robyn Spizman suggest that parents chart their child’s behavior and offer rewards for success.

Most importantly, the older child must be part of the process. She needs to be ready and willing to quit by taking ownership of the plan.

Most experts agree on the following additional tips to help an older child break the habit: • Don’t use harsh words or teasing; this will reinforce the habit.

• Praise her when you notice she isn't sucking her thumb.

• • • •

Involve her in choosing the method she will use to stop.

Don’t get frustrated, which tends to make the habit worse.

Ask your dentist (or pediatrician) to explain the effects of thumbsucking to your child.

Find age-appropriate literature on the subject.

WHEN SHOULD YOUR CHILD SEE A SPECIALIST? Most children will stop sucking their thumbs when they are ready.

If, however, your child continues to suck her thumb after many attempts of trying to kick the habit, you may need to seek outside help. Your child’s pediatric dentist or pediatrician might suggest an appliance that will help facilitate the quitting process.

Dr. Barton D. Schmitt, M.D., author of “Your Child’s Health,” offers the following guidelines for knowing when to seek advice from a health care provider: • Your child is older than 4 and sucks her thumb constantly.

• Your child is older than 5 and doesn’t stop when her peers tease her.

• Your child’s teacher has expressed concern about thumbsucking in class.

• Your child has been experiencing emotional problems.

• Your child’s permanent teeth have been affected.

You can also talk to your child’s pediatrician about recommending a therapist if you think her thumbsucking is related to an emotional or psychological problem.

Myrna Beth Haskell is a freelance writer and mother of two. Her work has appeared in both national and regional publications.

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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›

›

GROWING UP

GROWING UP

Raising Socially Conscious Kids

Around ages 10 and 11, kids can really begin to embrace these concepts, says Jessica Hulick, founder and executive director of Social Justice Storytime, which strives to promote an inclusive community by creating a space for children and families to learn and discuss contemporary issues through storytime. At family storytimes in Durham and surrounding communities, Hulick and other volunteers aim to create a space where families can learn about issues, such as bullying, gender identity, immigrant and refugee rights, racial equity and family structures through children’s literature. Though the events were designed for kids under age 8, Hulick quickly found that fourth- and fifth-graders were highly engaged in the conversations. Caregivers can continue these conversations at home by answering questions honestly, providing factual information and encouraging reflection about what constitutes fairness.

BY MALIA JACOBSON

Teen Years

“W

Newsreel The moment older kids step into social media, they are deluged with persuasive messages about race, gender, immigration and more, including blatant racial stereotypes and sexually degrading messaging, along with graphic, violent images connected to contemporary world issues. Because teens are absorbing these media messages almost constantly, it’s essential that caregivers talk to them about the violence they’re seeing, Eusebio says.

Encourage teens to expand their media use beyond social platforms. Podcasts and radio can provide topical, current information about social justice, activism and news without displaying graphic violence. Ask teens how they would address problems in their community, including economic inequality, racial tension or homelessness, to open the door to a dialogue around social justice.

“Open and respectful conversation is the best formula for raising peaceful, concerned and proactive children,” Eusebio says.

hy don’t some people have homes?” “Why do we donate money to help people?”

“Why doesn’t everyone have enough food?” When kids begin asking hard questions, they are ready to talk about social justice.

Social justice is a broad term for action intended to create genuine equity, fairness and respect among people, says licensed school psychologist Eleazer Cruz Eusebio, chair of the school psychology department at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Harvard University research shows that children can begin to harbor negative racial biases as early as 3 years old, thus caregivers should consider being intentional about teaching values like equity and inclusion early in life. Here’s an age-by-age guide to communicating with kids about the issues shaping our world.

Early Years

Role Play Toddlers and preschoolers are starting to learn about empathy, the experiences of others and how their actions impact those around them, making early childhood an ideal time to begin talking about social justice. Keep concepts simple. Focus on differences and similarities in people your child knows with messages of inclusion and equity. For example, you could say: “Each person’s body has different abilities. Some people walk with their legs. Your friend Sam uses a wheelchair to get around. That restaurant table has a space for a wheelchair.

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That way everyone can enjoy eating here.”

For a classroom of preschoolers, having interactive group conversations and setting up role-playing scenarios that focus on basic differences and similarities are healthy, productive ways to address false stereotypes, and may even help prevent potential discrimination and bullying, Eusebio says.

Elementary Years

Fair Wars By elementary school, children can handle the concept that the world isn’t always fair, and that some people don’t get what they need, so others should step in to help.

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health journalist and mom. charlotteparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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Carolina Friends School

Helping you keep your child cavity free for a lifetime.

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry

Martha Ann Keels, DDS PhD Dylan S. Hamilton, DMD MS

2711 North Duke Street Durham, NC 27704

919-220-1416

www.dukestreetsmiles.com 32

JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

Catch the Spark of Curiosity a pre-K to grade 12 independent Quaker day school serving the greater Durham-Chapel Hill area

www.cfsnc.org | 919.383.6602 Campus Close-Up January 10

› Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

so encourage family members to take turns. Do a little coaching so kids are prepared to thank relatives for gifts or demonstrate what they can do with a new toy. Ask questions that prompt elders to share memories and stories.

7 Ways Technology Can Bring Your Family Closer

BY CAROLYN JABS

M

ost parents can agree that it’s a good idea to set aside technology-free family time. At the same time, it’s also helpful to remember all the ways technology can bring families closer. Young people, in particular, filter much of their experiences through their phones, so turning phones off for extended periods of time may actually cause them to feel less connected. Here are a few ways technology can enhance family togetherness. Whenever possible, use the simplest apps so as many people as possible can participate.

Plan reunions. Using an app like Party Planner for the annual family reunion can help you manage the details, from inviting guests and tracking responses to delegating tasks and budgeting.

Entering necessary information may take a little time, but it lays the groundwork for future reunions.

Start a family media channel.

Establish a blog or a social media group, and limit access to extended family and special friends. Invite kids, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents to participate, providing whatever support they need to get connected. Encourage everyone to post inside jokes, recipes, memories and bits of family lore. To make people more comfortable with

TECH TALK

sharing heartfelt or silly sentiments, establish a simple rule: What appears on the site can’t be shared anywhere else without permission.

Tune up. Build a family playlist for your next family reunion, summer vacation and other occasions. Ask everyone old enough to talk to make suggestions.

Of course, there are plenty of playlists available on sites like Pandora and Spotify, but it’s a lot more meaningful and fun to juxtapose grandma’s favorites from the 1940s with the latest Justin Bieber jam.

Chat long distance. Schedule video chats with distant loved ones. Group chats can sometimes feel awkward

Set up a group text. If video chatting makes family members self-conscious, try using GroupMe, a free app that allows everyone in the family to see the same text messages. GroupMe works with every smartphone platform. Give it a try in your immediate family, then expand the group to include cousins and other relatives. Notifications can be set to alert smartphone users when a new text arrives, or turned off so multiple texts don’t become bothersome.

Play games. Ask preteens for the best family-friendly games or find apps that simulate classics like Scrabble and Checkers. Help grandparents sign up so they can play across the room — or country. Consider creating customized games for your family. For example, try making up a scavenger hunt that involves taking photos connected with family traditions.

Collect photos. Set up a passwordprotected site on a photo-sharing platform like Flickr, Instagram or Google Photos, then send the link to everyone in the family. Ask family members to upload their favorite photos and videos to create a collective album.

There are, of course, plenty of other ways technology can make family time fun and meaningful. Embracing these possibilities with an open heart makes it more likely that everyone will participate and enjoy these experiences together.

Carolyn Jabs is the author of “Cooperative Wisdom: Bringing People Together When Things Fall Apart,” available at Amazon and cooperativewisdom.org. carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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UNDERSTANDING KIDS Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

dressed, for example, doing what he or she is capable of and relying on a parent for assistance. Parents can begin to set aside tasks they know their child will be able to complete with their guidance, such as putting toys in a basket or hanging clothing in easy-to-reach places.

Doing Things for One’s Self Eventually, a child is ready to carry out these same tasks on his or her own. In the initial stages, a parent might help the child get started and then say he or she will check in on the child’s progress after a little while. Children do especially well when parents are close enough to show their admiration. As with all aspects of development, the need for admiration and

Helping Children Take Responsibility for Household Chores

BY LUCY DANIELS CENTER

A

Doing Things for a Child Early in a child’s development, parents or caretakers do just about everything for their child. We certainly wouldn’t ask or expect an infant to straighten his or her crib blanket or fold his or her clothes.

In the early stages of life, parents play

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child’s intrinsic sense of pride in having completed important household tasks for the family’s sake.

When There Are Problems

new year is often a time for families to set new goals and make personal improvements. Many parents wonder how to identify a good time for their children to begin taking responsibility for their personal spaces (bedrooms and playrooms) and helping out with general family chores.

The key to understanding how and when to ask children to participate in household chores lies in understanding this aspect of development. With this understanding, coupled with your sense of your child’s unique strengths and struggles, you will be in a better position to help your child become a more responsible and helpful member of the family.

Understanding Development Skills and competencies don't typically show up overnight. Usually, skills develop over time. In the same way a child gradually takes on self-care tasks, such as eating or dressing, a child also gradually develops independence in other areas.

praise will gradually be replaced with the

an important part in modeling family values, in relation to caring for personal belongings and keeping the home tidy and organized. While children are not actively participating, they observe and take in a parent’s investment in these tasks.

Doing Things Together Over time, a child may willingly join his or her parent or caretaker in carrying out household tasks such as picking up toys; putting dishes away; or caring for the washing, folding and putting away of clothing. A similar shift takes place in the area of self-care. A child might get

Some parents may find that this gradual approach isn’t helpful and that a child’s resistance to developing independence is stronger than his or her desire to follow directions or please Mom and Dad. In such cases, it may be helpful to examine whether there are other struggles in the child’s life. Do similar issues come up at school or during homework sessions?

Does the child have trouble sleeping at night or developing relationships with peers? When there are pervasive and widespread challenges, a qualified health care professional’s guidance may be helpful in determining reasons for this behavior, as well as effective interventions specific to the child’s emotional needs.

The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes the emotional health and well-being of children and families. Visit lucydanielscenter.org to learn more.

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HAMMERS, NAILS & DIAPER PAILS

My Most Important Subject

BY PATRICK HEMPFING

S

ince September 2011, I’ve written a monthly column sharing the joys and challenges of parenting from the perspective of a stay-at-home dad. My daughter, Jessie, who just turned 13, gave me all the stories — some funny, others tender and a few I could have done without.

I can still remember my sneakers sticking to the kitchen floor as Jessie and I cleaned up strawberry juice and broken glass from the far reaches of our kitchen.

My happy, dancing girl had enjoyed strawberry shortcake, then twirled with her dish on the way to get seconds.

Coming out of a spin, she accidentally crashed her plate against the refrigerator, sending shards of glass and sticky red syrup everywhere.

After more than six years of monthly columns and Jessie now a teenager, I think it’s the right time to end this column. So, whether you’re a longtime follower or a first-time reader, thank you for welcoming my family into your home. I hope our stories brightened your days. Special thanks go to all the publishers and editors who printed them, and to my own team who helped polish my work before I sent it out — my wife, our daughter and my former supervisor at the University of Florida, who served as the final quality controller.

I’ll continue to write. In fact, Jessie and I are working on a new co-authored column I’m eager to reveal. Please look for it in the months to come.

But, for this, my final solo column, I wanted to leave readers with a memorable message. Each month, I complete the draft of my column, then give it to Jessie for her feedback. I think

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock she’s going to be a college professor like her mother. She loves to break out her red pen and mark up my copy. Of course, she feels compelled to assign a grade.

If you think Jessie shows her father some leniency because he’s cared for all her wants and needs these past 13 years, you’d be mistaken. There’s no such thing as bonus points in Jessie’s grading. She’s tough! I’ve learned not to write anything about boys because I’m usually penalized a full letter grade. If you don’t believe me, here’s a sample of grades from the first drafts of a few recent columns, listed in ascending order: 27, 50, 62, 69.97, 82.5 and 90.1253.

Writers need honest critique and I get it from Jessie. Though her grades and comments aren’t always what I like, they make me work harder to become a better writer, and many times I’ve incorporated her useful edits.

But, as I look back, these grades were only for my writing, not my parenting. I’m not going to ask Jessie to

grade my first 13 years as her father.

I’d like to think I’d get many A’s and positive comments. At the same time, I made some mistakes — especially in the subjects of “patience” and “listening.”

Involved parenting is challenging work.

So, as I conclude my final monthly column, I remember Jessie’s words: “You can do better.” Not just when I’m sitting behind my laptop (though I’ll certainly give it my best), but more importantly as a father and role model for Jessie. I want to earn an A in my most important subject — parenting.

And when I miss the mark, perhaps Jessie will offer extra credit or round up my score.

Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year professional career in banking, accounting and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad and writer. Follow him at patrickhempfing.com.

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COLLEGE TRANSITIONS 2. Take the honors track. Students who wish to have all collegiate options down the road will need to take a rigorous course load, beginning in ninth grade. Those students applying to highly competitive colleges and universities will need to be enrolled in multiple advanced placement courses during their junior and senior years. Taking honors courses as a freshman will put your student on track to take Advanced Placement courses as an upperclassman (and, in some case, as a sophomore).

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

How Should High School Freshmen Prepare for College?

BY DAVE BERGMAN, ED.D.

L

et’s begin with a caveat: The College Transitions team is philosophically opposed to the unhealthy obsession with elite college admission that begins in the womb, ramps up to overdrive by the time preschool selection rolls around and, by high school — well, that’s when the therapy bills begin to rack up.

The purpose of this piece is to advise freshmen (and their parents) on ways to successfully launch their high school careers in ways that will open up postsecondary options down the road, whether they happen to be Ivy League universities, “good fit” liberal arts colleges, or public universities.

Does Ninth Grade Matter?

Researchers at the University of Chicago looked at the predictive value of a student’s freshman year of high school as it relates to a number of future outcomes. What they found is that ninth grade matters quite a bit. In fact, students who excel in ninth grade are far more likely to graduate high school, enroll in college and remain in college beyond their freshman year, than are students who struggled through their first year of high school.

Another study by Princeton University and the Brookings Institute found that ninth grade is, in many ways, a watershed year for teens. Classroom performance, behavior and attendance that year is a strong indicator of a student’s future academic pathway.

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With the importance of ninth grade firmly established, it’s time to present steps your student can take now to begin building a solid foundation for college admission success.

1. Ace those classes. Freshman year counts toward a student’s cumulative GPA calculation and impacts class rank (with some exceptions — mostly schools in the University of California system). These two factors will play a major role in selective college admissions. If your student’s aim is to finish in the top 10 percent of his or her class, even a solid 3.3 GPA will put your child in a pretty deep hole. A stellar freshman GPA, on the other hand, will alleviate a great deal of stress as your child progresses through high school.

3. Become active in the school community. If your child is interested in politics, consider joining forensics, mock trial or Model United Nations clubs. Encourage musically inclined students to sign up for chorus, orchestra or marching band. But remember: Admissions officers aren't impressed by applicants who sampled a dozen activities but committed to none.

4. Get to know your student’s guidance counselor. High school guidance counselors often have caseloads double to triple the size of the levels recommended by the National Association for College Admission Counseling. Acknowledging the realities of the counselors’ duties and limited time, the onus is on your student to schedule meetings with him or her as a freshman to begin the college exploration process. Getting on the counselor’s radar as a serious, future-minded student early will pay dividends later on.

5. Take advantage of summer. The summer after freshman year is a great time for your child to land his or her first job, volunteer with a local organization or attend a program on a college campus — even if he or she desires a restful summer break. Such an accomplishment refines your student’s college search before his or her sophomore year commences.

Dave Bergman, Ed.D., is a co-founder of College Transitions and a co-author of “The Enlightened College Applicant: A New Approach to the Search and Admissions Process.” Learn more at collegetransitions.com.

K-8

Ages 2-5

Na�onal Blue Ribbon School Since 2011

Winter Open House Sunday, January 28, 2018 12:30 pm un�l 2:30 pm

Tour the Schools

Meet Faculty and Staff Learn About Curriculum

Register for Open House by visi�ng one of the school websites below

www.preschoolatstfrancis.com

The Future Starts HERE...

www.franciscanschool.org

Ministries of the Catholic Community of St. Francis of Assisi

11401 Leesville Rd., Raleigh 919.847.8205

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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› EXCURSION

Take a Family Ski Trip in North Carolina

BY MEGAN FINKE

W

hether you’re looking for a day of winter fun or an entire weekend on the slopes, North Carolina resorts present a variety of options. Most resorts kick off the ski season in late November and stay open through mid-March. Check websites or call ahead for weather reports and slope closures before you embark on a snowy adventure.

Appalachian Ski Mountain 940 Ski Mountain Rd., Blowing Rock 828-295-7828; appskimtn.com Lift rates: $18-$70. Ages 5 and younger ski free with a ticketed adult.

Number of slopes: Three easy, three more difficult and three most difficult; three freestyle terrain parks.

Off the slopes: A fully lit outdoor ice rink for skating under the stars.

Children’s programs: Ski Wee and Cruiser Camps instructional programs designed for skiers ages 4-10 and snowboarders ages 7-12.

Beech Mountain 1007 Beech Mountain Pkwy., Beech Mountain 800-438-2093; beechmountainresort.com Lift rates: $20-$79; ages 4 and younger ski free with a ticketed adult. Discounted pricing starts March 5.

Number of slopes: Three easy, six more difficult and four most difficult; two freestyle terrain parks.

Off the slopes: Outdoor 7,000-square-foot ice rink and state-of-the art tubing park with chutes up to 700 feet in length.

Children’s programs: Snow Kamp provides all-day child care with an introduction to a winter wonderland of activities for ages 3-5.

Traxx is an all-day ski program for students ages 6-14. Burton Learn to Ride Center provides snowboarding lessons for ages 6-14.

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Appalachian Ski Mountain offers nine slopes and an ice rink.

Photo courtesy of DigiDreamGrafix/Shutterstock Cataloochee Ski Area 1080 Ski Lodge Rd., Maggie Valley 800-768-0285; cataloochee.com Lift rates: $20-$75; ages 4 and younger ski free with a ticketed adult. Adults age 65 and older ski free.

Number of slopes: Eight easy, seven more difficult and two most difficult; freestyle terrain park.

Off the slopes: Snow tubing at Tube World in Maggie Valley 4 miles from the ski area.

Children’s programs: Class lessons for ages 8 and older; private lessons for ages 3 and older. Half- and full-day programs for ages 4-12.

Sapphire Valley Ski Area 127 Cherokee Trail, Sapphire Valley 828-743-7663; skisapphirevalley.com Lift rates: $21-$63 Number of slopes: Two slopes (one main intermediate run, one learning slope). Ideal for youth and beginners.

Off the slopes: Snow tubing at Frozen Falls Tube Park at a 500-foot run with a 60-foot vertical drop. Winter zip line tours on the Vordach Zip Line Experience.

Children’s programs: Ski and snowboard group lessons for ages 5 and older.

Sugar Mountain Resort 1009 Sugar Mountain Dr., Sugar Mountain 800-784-2768; skisugar.com Lift rates: $23-$74; ages 4 and younger ski free with a ticketed adult. Discounted pricing starts March 5.

Number of slopes: Seven easy, 10 more difficult and four most difficult; freestyle terrain park.

Off the slopes: 700-foot-long tubing lanes; 10,000-square-foot outdoor ice skating rink.

Children’s programs: Sugar Bear Ski School program for ages 5-10; includes a lift ticket, rental equipment, a helmet, lessons, lunch and supervision. Polar Bear Snowboard School offers a similar program for ages 7-14.

Wolf Ridge Ski Resort 578 Valley View Circle, Mars Hill 800-817-4111; skiwolfridgenc.com Lift rates: $20-$71; ages 4 and younger ski free with a ticketed adult. Adults 65 and older free.

Number of slopes: Four easy, eight intermediate and two advanced.

Off the slopes: Snow tubing at Wolf Ridge Tube Run. Children’s programs: One-on-one ski or snowboard lessons for ages 5 and older.

Group lessons for ages 9 and older.

You and your child are invited to...

Step into the shoes of an Emerson Waldorf student and experience the riches of our curriculum.

Join us for Waldorf Education Day and All School Open House Saturday, January 13, 2018, 9am - 1pm Free and open to the public. Please pre-register online.

emersonwaldorf.org • 6211 New Jericho Rd, Chapel Hill, NC • 919 967 1858

Learning with a purpose.

Life-Ready.

Open House featuring an informational session and school tours

Pre-Kindergarten - 8th Grade

PARENTS & STUDENTS: Thurs., January 11, 4 - 6 pm PARENTS: Thurs., January 18, 8:15 - 10 am

RSVP to Cathy Clement cclement@sttimothys.org

Pre-K - 8th Grade • 4523 Six Forks Rd., Raleigh • 919.787.3011 carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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What did your child do in Preschool today?

Our students had fun coding with PRIMO.

Half Day Preschool for ages 2 to 5!

Full day option available with special program at Jasper’s Place

Children love our Technology : One-on-one iPad Program, Coding, OSMO, and 3D Language Arts Program!

Spanish & Chinese • Reading, Math & Writing • Art, Music, Science Smart Boards and iPads • Arabic classes • International Assessments After School Classes: Dance, Soccer, STEM Club

January Registration for 2018-2019 School Year. Tour Now!

International Preschool of Raleigh 2730 Godley Lane, Raleigh, NC 27617 (Brier Creek next to Frankie’s)

☎ 919-957-7249

ipraleigh.com

Ages 6 weeks to 12 years Infant, Toddler and Preschool Program 5 STAR Program with a pleasant, safe and loving environment

7420 McCrimmon Pkwy, Cary, NC 27519 | Childrenslighthouse.com/WestCary · 919-388-0470 40

JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

January OUR PICKS

Winter Wonderland at Bond Park Jan. 26-27 Tube down a snow-covered hill in Bond Park during the Town of Cary’s annual Winter Wonderland event.

Snow tubing areas will be available for single riders ages 5 and older. A special parent-child session for ages 4 and younger will also be offered and snow tubes will be provided.

Participants must register online at classweb.townofcary.org for any of the snow tubing sessions offered.

The registration fee is $19 per person.

Enjoy a day of fun at the Dream Big Book Drive. Photo courtesy of Book Harvest

Dream Big Book Drive | Jan. 15 Take part in a community-wide celebration of diversity, literacy and books on Martin Luther King Day at the Dream Big Book Drive, 1-4 p.m., in Durham Central Park. Hosted by Book Harvest, the event features live music, food trucks and

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock

family activities. Take a gently used book or volunteer to sort and box donations.

This event is inspired by King’s vision of a world in which all children have the chance to realize their full potential. Admission is free. bookharvestnc.org.

Celebrate KwanzaaFest Jan. 1 in Durham.

Photo courtesy of AADE KwanzaaFest

African American Dance Ensemble KwanzaaFest | Jan. 1 Begin the new year at the African American Dance Ensemble KwanzaaFest, which will be located at the Walltown Recreation Center in Durham. Arts and crafts, games, face painting and drumming take place from 11:30 a.m.-1:45 p.m. Muddy the Mudcat makes an appearance at 1 p.m., and live performances from the African American Dance Ensemble, Greater Destiny Mime and others begin at 2 p.m. A marketplace showcasing vendors and community groups rounds out the event. Admission is free. aadekwanzaafest.wixsite.com/kwanzaafest.

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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CALENDAR

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performances

See the Shopkins prepare for the Funtastic Food and Fashion Fair at Durham Performing Arts Center Jan. 17.

Photo courtesy of Koba Entertainment

PERFORMANCES NORTH CAROLINA SYMPHONY PRESENTS “HEROES AND VILLAINS” Jan. 6 – Meymandi Concert Hall, 2 E. South St., Raleigh. 1 and 4 p.m. $26. Celebrate the best and the baddest, from “Superman” to “Pirates of the Caribbean,” with music conducted by Wesley Schulz to inspire the next generation of heroes. This performance is part of the North Carolina Symphony's Young People's Concert Series, which features interactive performances that are perfect for children ages 3-12 and include preconcert fun such as the Instrument Zoo, face-painting, and other hands-on activities.

Purchase tickets online. ncsymphony.org.

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

“SHEN YUN” Jan. 16-17 – Raleigh Memorial Auditorium, 2 E. South St., Raleigh. 7:30 p.m. $80-$150.

Take a magical journey through 5,000 years of divine Chinese culture that features classical dance, music and storytelling.

Purchase tickets online. ticketmaster.com.

“SHOPKINS LIVE: SHOP IT UP” Jan. 17 – Durham Performing Arts Center, 123 Vivian St., Durham. 6:30 p.m. $25 and up. Based on the beloved toy, the Shoppies and Shopkins characters come to life onstage in a show with pop music and video highlights. Join the fun as Jessicake, Bubbleisha, Peppa-Mint and friends prepare for Shopville’s annual Funtastic Food and

Fashion Fair. All ages. Purchase tickets online. ticketmaster.com.

WOMEN’S VOICES CHORUS PRESENTS “SONG OF THE UNIVERSAL” Jan. 21 – University United Methodist Church, 150 E. Franklin St., Chapel Hill.

3 p.m. $17/adult, $7/student. The chorus explores the wish for peace and the redemptive powers of nature, love and mercy with works by American composer Abbie Betinis, Estonian composer Vjelo Tormis, Norwegian composer Ola Gjeilo and others. The performance also features dancers and a string ensemble. Purchase tickets online. womensvoiceschorus.org.

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CALENDAR

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Martin Luther King Jr. and Black History Month

Celebrate Martin Luthe King Jr.'s birthday at Northgate Mall in Durham Jan. 15.

Photo courtesy of Northgate Mall

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. AND BLACK HISTORY MONTH MLK DREAMFEST: SONGS OF THE DREAM Jan. 13 – Cary Arts Center, 101 Dry Ave., Cary.

10 a.m. FREE. Enjoy arts-and-crafts activities, and learn songs that animate the struggle for equality in a family-friendly singalong. Kids can sing the songs during a cultural performance titled "Music and the Dream" at 7:30 p.m. at the Cary Arts Center. townofcary.org/recreation-enjoyment/ events/holiday-events/dreamfest.

FROM KING TO KAEPERNICK: PROGRESS THROUGH PROTEST 2018 MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. COMMEMORATION Jan. 14 – Duke Chapel, 401 Chapel Dr., Durham.

3 p.m. FREE. Enjoy a keynote speaker, music and dance. Free parking is available in the Bryan Center parking garage on Science Drive. mlk.duke.edu.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING CELEBRATION WITH NC MOMSRISING: THE POWER OF CHILDREN Jan. 15 – Northgate Mall, 1058 W. Club Blvd.

10:30 a.m.- 1 p.m. FREE. Celebrate King’s birthday with cake, crafts, stories and kid-friendly activities. northgatemall.com.

DREAM BIG BOOK DRIVE Jan. 15 – Durham Central Park, 501 Foster St., Durham. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Inspired by Dr. King’s vision in which all children have the chance to realize their full potential, the Dream Big Book Drive is a community-wide celebration of diversity, literacy and books for all children. Donate new or gently used children’s books, volunteer to help sort and box donations, and enjoy live music, food trucks and family activities. bookharvestnc.org.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. COMMUNITY CELEBRATION Jan. 18 – Friendship Chapel Baptist Church, 237 Friendship Chapel Rd., Wake Forest. 6 p.m. FREE. Join local churches and community organizations for a public celebration honoring the life and legacy of the civil rights leader. wakeforestnc.gov/mlkcommunity-celebration.aspx.

16 TH MLK BLACK HISTORY MONTH PARADE AND BLOCK PARTY Feb. 3 – Downtown Durham, Fayetteville St. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. FREE. Honor the legacy of Dr. King and celebrate Black History Month with a parade at noon that features marching bands, floats, and local dance and church groups. Food trucks, vendors, bounce houses and face painters highlight the block party from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. spectacularmag.com.

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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exhibits See ensembles created by the world’s top designers in “Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair” at the North Carolina Museum of Art through Jan. 20.

Photo courtesy of Johnson Publishing Company LLC

Ebony Fashion Fair. FREE. North Carolina Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. ncartmuseum.org.

“LOUIS C. TIFFANY: ART AND INNOVATION FROM THE WESTER COLLECTION” Through March 4 This lobby-case exhibit features two of the artist's famous stained-glass windows, a small number of blown-glass vases and several lamps. Tiffany became one of the best-known American proponents of the Art Nouveau movement, and the objects in this exhibit case depict the curved and flowing lines and the jewel-bright colors connected with this style. FREE. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh.

919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

“THE SHAPE OF FASHION” Through May 6 View 10 different fashionable silhouettes, including six represented by artifacts, that illustrate changing dress styles from the 1800s to the 1900s. The clothing chosen for this exhibit comes from the museum’s extensive collection of textiles and features ball gowns, afternoon dresses and several examples of men’s and children’s clothing.

FREE. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

“NORTH CAROLINA AND WORLD WAR I”

EXHIBITS “AMERICAN RED CROSS: HEALING THE WARRIOR’S HEART THROUGH ART” Through Jan. 7 This powerful exhibit features more than 20 paintings and three sculptures created

by U.S. Marines who were wounded while serving. The Marines completed the artwork under the guidance of world-renowned artist Craig Bone as part of an art therapy program for Wounded Warrior Battalion–East, based out of Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.

FREE. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

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“MAZES & BRAIN GAMES” Opening Jan. 20 Discover a vast collection of mind-bending adventures, 3-D puzzles and full body games in this 8,000-square-foot exhibit.

Conquer puzzling challenges, test your perceptions in a maze of illusions, bust out a beat in the music maze and more.

See the website for entry times and fees.

The exhibit runs through Sept. 3. North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. 919-707-9800. naturalsciences.org.

JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

“INSPIRING BEAUTY: 50 YEARS OF EBONY FASHION FAIR” Through Jan. 21 Explore the 50-year history of the Ebony Fashion Fair (1958–2009), an unparalleled charity fashion show event that redefined the concepts of beauty, fashion and empowerment for African-Americans. It features 40 stunning ensembles by top designers such as Stephen Burrows, Pierre Cardin, Christian Dior, Givenchy, Patrick Kelly, Christian Lacroix, Yves Saint Laurent, Bob Mackie, Alexander McQueen and others.

It also includes archival photographs and memorabilia from Ebony magazine and the

Through Jan. 6, 2019 This exhibit, covering more than 6,500 square feet of gallery space, showcases North Carolina during World War I. Wind your way through a life-size trench system – complete with mud-plastered walls, hundreds of sandbags, and the lights and sounds of battle. The exhibit also features a reproduction field hospital, floor-to-ceiling murals, historic film footage, interactive video and more than 500 artifacts. The stories of numerous Tar Heel soldiers are distributed throughout the exhibit and include a special showcase of the African American 92nd Division.

FREE. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

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1 MONDAY

Happy New Year!

AADE KwanzaaFest. Walltown Recreation Center, 1308 W. Club Blvd., Durham. 10:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. FREE. Celebrate Kwanzaa with arts and crafts activities, drumming, games, face painting, live performances and more. Take a canned food or toiletry item to be donated to a local nonprofit. aadekwanzaafest.wixsite.com/ kwanzaafest.

2 TUESDAY

Tinkergarten Trial Class. Forest Hills Park, Durham. 10-11:15 a.m. FREE. Explore the outdoors and enjoy a nature-based activity. Ages 18 months-5 years with caregiver.

Register online. tinkergarten.com/ leaders/kate.macartney.

5 FRIDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.”

North Carolina Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. $15/adult, $9/youth. 10 a.m.8 p.m. See the fashion exhibit that explores 50 years of beauty and empowerment for thousands of African-Americans and features more than 40 stunning outfits created by Dior, Givency, Alexander McQueen and others. Purchase tickets online. ncartmuseum.org.

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

6 SATURDAY

“North Carolina and World War I.” North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. View more than 500 artifacts, period photography, historical film footage, a trench diorama, educational components and video re-enactments that feature North Carolina soldiers and citizens who provided extraordinary service to their country 100 years ago. ncmuseumofhistory.org/exhibits.

STEM Saturday. SMILE Camp, 6301 Hillsborough St., Raleigh. 10 a.m.1 p.m. $55/child. Explore chemistry, physics and engineering with hands-on science experiments. See website for ages and times. Register online. smilecamp.org/programs/ academic.

Tinkergarten Trial Class. See Jan. 2.

Tree Toss at the Conservators Center. Conservators Center, 676 E. Hughes Mill Rd., Burlington.

11:30 a.m.-4 p.m. See the website for fees. Watch wild animals receive holiday trees to play with in their natural areas. Enjoy crafts prior to the event. Register online. conservatorscenter.org/visit/ events/treetoss.

4 THURSDAY

7 SUNDAY

3 WEDNESDAY

Magnet Mini Fair. Farmington Woods Magnet Elementary School, 1413 Hampton Valley Rd., Cary. 9:3011 a.m. FREE. Rising kindergartners and their families learn about Wake County magnet elementary programs. wcpss.net/magnet.

What’s in the Box? People.

North Carolina Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh.

10:15 a.m., 11:15 a.m. or 1:15 p.m. $5/member, $8/nonmember.

Explore a part of art. Ages 2-5 with caregiver. Purchase tickets online. ncartmuseum.org.

Skate With the Canes. PNC Arena, 1400 Edwards Mill Rd., Raleigh.

1:30-4 p.m. $85. Fans and players interact with the Carolina Hurricanes in an intimate environment by rotating through autographs, locker room photos and skating sessions in small groups. Stormy and the Pepsi Storm Squad make an appearance.

Children ages 13 and younger must be accompanied by an adult with a ticket. Purchase tickets online. nhl.com/hurricanes/community/ skate-with-the-canes.

Weekend Family-Friendly Tours: Art Detectives. North Carolina Museum of Art, 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m. FREE. Untangle clues to find the hidden story in works of art. Ages 5-11 with caregiver. ncartmuseum.org.

8 MONDAY

Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Candleholders. Durham Arts Council Clay Studio at Northgate Mall, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham 10-11:30 or 4-5:30 p.m. $15-$20.

Create candleholders using slabs of clay and cutouts, and paint them with colored clay. Register online. durhamarts.org.

9 TUESDAY

Magnet Mini Fair. Green Magnet Elementary School, 5307 Six Forks Rd., Raleigh. 9:30-11 a.m.

FREE. Rising kindergartners their families learn about Wake County magnet elementary programs. wcpss.net/magnet.

Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Candleholders. See Jan. 8.

4-5:30 p.m.

Parent Education Session: “Strategies to Help Your Child With ADHD Improve Behavior.”

Duke Child and Family Study Center, 2608 Erwin Rd., Pavilion East, Ste. 300, Durham. 6:30-8 p.m.

FREE. This session, led by Jessica Lunsford Avery, Ph.D, provides a review of behavior management principles with a focus on increasing desired behaviors. Register online. dukehealth.org/events.

10 WEDNESDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.” See Jan. 5.

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

11 THURSDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.” See Jan. 5.

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

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12 FRIDAY

Kids Night Out. Durham Arts Council Clay Studio, Northgate Mall, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham. 6:30-8 p.m. $18/child. Ages 6-12 make pottery while parents enjoy a night out.

Register online. durhamarts.org.

13 SATURDAY

Curiosity Club: Bird Buddies.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 1-3 p.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

Weekend Family-Friendly Tours: Art Detectives. See Jan. 7. ncartmuseum.org.

14 SUNDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.” See Jan. 5.

10 a.m.-4 p.m.

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3. Noon-5 p.m.

15 MONDAY

Martin Luther King Jr. Day Dr. Martin Luther King Celebration With NC MomsRising: The Power of Children. Northgate Mall, 1058 West Club Blvd., Durham.

10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. FREE. Celebrate Dr. King’s birthday with cake, crafts, stories and more. All ages. northgatemall.com.

Dream Big Book Drive.

Durham Central Park, 501 Foster St., Durham. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Take part in a community-wide celebration of literacy, diversity and books for all children. Donate new or gently used children’s book, volunteer to help sort and box donations, and enjoy live music, food trucks and family activities. bookharvestnc.org.

16 TUESDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.” See Jan. 5.

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“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

17 WEDNESDAY

Magnet Mini Fair. Washington Magnet Elementary, 1000 Fayetteville Rd., Raleigh. 10-11:30 a.m. FREE. Rising kindergartners their families learn about Wake County magnet elementary programs. wcpss.net/magnet.

18 THURSDAY

What’s in the Box? Seasons/Nature.

See Jan. 4.

19 FRIDAY

Nature Nuts: Coyotes. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/resident, $13/nonresident. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

20 SATURDAY

Art, Dance and Sing! Page-Walker Arts and History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary. 10-11:30 a.m. $9/resident, $12/nonresident.

Make a craft and dance to favorite songs. Ages 11 and older. Register online. Choose course #111599. classweb.townofcary.org.

Nature Nuts: Coyotes. See Jan. 19.

Pamper Party With Friends. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 2-4 p.m. $11/resident, $15/nonresident. Girls ages 11 and older enjoy a manicure and pedicure, makeup application and a tiara-making station. Punch and snacks served. Register online.

Choose course #111626. classweb.townofcary.org.

Tales and Trails: Bird Box Birding.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 12:30-2 p.m. $18/resident, $24/nonresident. Learn about local birds and build a bird box. All

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ages with adult. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

Tree Toss at the Conservators Center. See Jan. 6.

Weekend Family-Friendly Tours: Art Detectives. See Jan. 7.

Whoo’s Awake? Durant Nature Preserve, 8305 Camp Durant Rd., Raleigh. 5:30-7:30 p.m. $4/person.

Take a hike to listen for owl calls and learn why owls are well adapted to living in darkness. After the hike, enjoy s’mores around a campfire while practicing owl calls.

Ages 6 and older. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Register online. Choose course #215870. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

21 SUNDAY

Eco-Explorers: Winter Wildlife.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

Free Family Day at the Nasher Museum: Cardboard City.

Nasher Museum of Art, 2001 Campus Dr., Durham. Noon-4 p.m.

FREE. Take unwanted holiday shipping boxes and use them to create a huge cardboard city. nasher.duke.edu.

22 MONDAY

Breakfast With Belle.

Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary.

10-11 a.m. $16/resident, $28/ nonresident. Make a craft and enjoy tea with Belle. Ages 3-5.

Register online. Choose course #110646. classweb.townofcary.org.

Fun in the Kitchen: Appetizers.

Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary.

5-7 p.m. $35/resident, $46/ nonresident. Learn to make appetizers. Ages 11-14. Register online. Choose course #110048. classweb.townofcary.org.

JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com

23 TUESDAY

“Inspiring Beauty: 50 Years of Ebony Fashion Fair.” See Jan. 5.

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

24 WEDNESDAY

Get Cooking With Laura: Japan.

Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary.

5-7 p.m. $35/resident, $46/ nonresident. Learn to prepare Japanese-inspired culinary dishes.

Register online. Choose course #109615. classweb.townofcary.org.

Wee Walkers: Winter Wonders.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Children delight in discoveries of shapes, colors and textures in nature. Ages 1 and older with parent. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

25 THURSDAY

Free Story Time, Craft and Snack.

Saint Raphael Preschool, 5801 Falls of the Neuse Rd, Raleigh.

10:15-11 a.m. FREE. Kids ages 18 months-4 years and a caregiver enjoy storytime, craft and snack.

RSVP to srapp@saintraphael.org or call 919-865-5725. straphaelpreschool.org.

Parent Workshop: Special Needs Siblings. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary.

6:30-8:30 p.m. $11/resident, $15/nonresident. Parents learn strategies in raising a child when a sibling has special needs. Register online. Choose course #111589. classweb.townofcary.org.

Trivia Night. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $2/resident, $3/nonresident.

Kids ages 11 and older test their knowledge of New Year’s traditions, music, movies and more. Register online. Choose course #111618. classweb.townofcary.org.

Wee Walkers: Winter Wonders.

See Jan. 24.

26 FRIDAY

Lil Cooks in the Kitchen: “Dragons Love Tacos.” Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 10-11:30 a.m. $23/resident, $30/nonresident.

Read “Dragons Love Tacos” by Adam Rubin and prepare tacos. Register online. Choose course #109611. classweb.townofcary.org.

27 SATURDAY

Cake Decorating: Snowflake Cupcakes. Middle Creek Community Center, 123 Middle Creek Dr., Apex. 10 a.m.-noon. $26/ resident, $34/nonresident. Learn to make cupcakes with a winter wonderland theme. Ages 11 and older. Register online. Choose course #111457. classweb.townofcary.org.

Junior Naturalist: Owl Prowl.

Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 4-5 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

Recycling Relay Rumble. Durant Nature Preserve, 8305 Camp Durant Rd., Raleigh. 2-4 p.m. $4/ person. Gather your recyclables and enjoy relay challenges. Take part in engineering feats like bridge building and egg drops using recyclables. Hot chocolate provided.

Ages 5 and older. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Register online. Choose course #215884. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

STEM Saturday. SMILE Camp, 6301 Hillsborough St., Raleigh.

See Jan. 6.

Your College Quest Guide. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 1-3 p.m. $5/resident, $6/nonresident. Learn how to navigate the college search, prepare for college entrance exams and more. Ages 12 and older with

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY

parent. Register online. Choose course #109354. classweb.townofcary.org.

28 SUNDAY

Curiosity Club: Fun With Fossils. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org.

Weekend Family-Friendly Tours: Art Detectives. See Jan. 7.

29 MONDAY

“North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 3.

30 TUESDAY

JANE S. GABIN, PhD Independent College Counselor

Informed, insightful, involved. Over 20 years’ experience in university admissions and school counseling. Known and trusted in this community. I can help you: navigate admissions, craft your college list, shape your essay, prepare you for interviews.

For more success and less stress, call

919-452-9287 or 919-929-6608 www.janesgabin.com | janesgabin@yahoo.com

Winter Stories at the Farmhouse: Owls.

Horseshoe Farm Nature Preserve, 2900 Horse Shoe Farm Rd., Wake Forest. 10-11 a.m. $2/child. Listen to a story, explore nature items and make a craft. Ages 3-5. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Register online. Choose course #215881. reclink. raleighnc.gov.

31 WEDNESDAY

"North Carolina and World War I.” See Jan. 26. 4-5:30 p.m.

Birthday Party Magic

CALENDAR POLICY The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. Visit carolinaparent.com/calendar to submit an event for consideration by the 6th of the month for the next month's issue.

Please call ahead to confirm dates and times. This calendar may include some events not intended for young children. Find more events at carolinaparent.com/calendar.

DANTHEANIMALMAN@GMAIL.COM

Learn to Play Learn to Sing

Degreed performer of Voice and Piano shares 26 years experience

919-830-6075 susan@riggsmusic.com

Locations in Raleigh & Wake Forest

Buy 4 lessons in first month and get 5th lesson FREE!

YOUR AD. THIS SPACE. NEXT MONTH. advertising@carolinaparent.com

carolinaparent.com | JANUARY 2018

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› FACES & PLACES

Eva (5) and Elsie (3) enjoy a day at The Streets at Southpoint in Durham with their dad, Scott.

Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun in the Triangle at carolinaparent.com/facesandplaces.

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JANUARY 2018 | carolinaparent.com