September 2018 • Free
Born in 1988
Perspectives from a new generation of parents
30 Ways Parenting Has Changed Plus staff POVs and pics
IT’S OUR BIRTHDAY! Serving Triangle families for 30 years
Retro Recollections A look back at family life in the late ’80s
carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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VOLUME 30, NUMBER 8
CONTENTS SEPTEMBER 2018
i01
FEATURES i03 CAROLINA PARENT CELEBRATES 30 YEARS OF SERVING THE TRIANGLE Take a look back at how it all started
i15 30 WAYS PARENTING HAS CHANGED SINCE 1988 Readers say technology has made the biggest impact
i07 BORN IN 1988 Read perspectives from a new generation of parents i12 FAMILY LIFE IN 1988 Reminisce late ’80s trends in the Triangle
i07
i12
IN EVERY ISSUE
STAYING IN THE GAME The best ways to heal most youth sports injuries
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A VERY SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY Special Olympics commemorates 50 years
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19
24
25
COLUMNS
September Online
17
6
Editor's Note
19 Father Figuring
26 Festivals
20 Understanding Kids
28 Daily
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25 Our Picks
22 Tech Talk Community
10 Education 12
Growing Up
CALENDAR
5
FYI
14
14
Health
23 College Transitions 24 Excursion 31
Faces and Places
carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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READY. SET. GOddard! We help children explore and discover their interests through play in a safe environment. We provide ample opportunities for fun learning experiences, promoting a lifelong love of learning in literacy, science, technology, engineering, arts and mathematics.
NOW ENROLLING! 12 LOCATIONS IN THE RALEIGH AREA GoddardSchool.com The Goddard Schools are operated by independent franchisees under a license agreement with Goddard Systems, Inc. Programs and ages may vary. Goddard Systems, Inc. program is AdvancED accredited. Š Goddard Systems, Inc. 2018
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
ONLINE
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Save Money
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SHOP FOR CONSIGNED CLOTHES AND SHOES Check out sales and shops offering consigned deals this time of year. carolinaparent.com/cp/ consignment-sales-and-storesin-the-triangle
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TAKE A HIKE Explore one of these eight family hikes in the Triangle. carolinaparent.com/ 8-family-friendly-hikesin-north-carolina
ENJOY A FAMILY MEAL DEAL Explore our directory for free or discounted kids meals at a variety of Triangle restaurants. carolinaparent.com/cp/ family-meal-deals
PLAN A FREE OUTING Savor summer’s last days by checking off our list of 25 free (or cheap) things to do around the Triangle. carolinaparent.com/cp/ 25-fun-summer-things-to-dowith-kids-for-free-or-under-5
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carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Celebrating 30 Years in the Triangle
morrismedianetwork.com
W
hat were you doing in 1988? I was a sophomore in high school turning 16; a member of the basketball, volleyball, track and debate teams; and super excited about getting my driver’s license. I knew I wanted to get married and have children someday, but those were distant dreams involving responsibilities I wouldn’t face until sometime after my college years. While I was taking algebra and learning the finer points of how to create poufy ’80s bangs, two Triangle moms — Gita Schonfeld and Bobbi Matchar — decided over coffee one morning that Triangle parents needed a publication offering local events for children, camp listings and parenting advice. A few months later, Carolina Parent was born. This special anniversary issue celebrates the magic Schonfeld and Matchar created 30 years ago. In our special anniversary section, which starts after page 16, explore Carolina Parent’s fascinating history in Caitlin Wheeler’s story about how the Triangle’s most valued parenting resource has evolved over the years to meet the needs of each new generation of parents. On page 7 of our special section, Samantha Gratton introduces us to Triangle moms who were born in 1988 — and now have children of their own. These moms discuss how parenting has changed since they were kids, and what hopes, dreams and worries they have as their children grow up in this new digital age. Take a walk down memory lane on page 12 of our special section, as Mandy Howard looks back at 1988 trends in the Triangle and around the nation. And the spotlight turns to you, our readers, on
PUBLISHER
Katie Reeves · katie.reeves@morris.com
EDITOR
Beth Shugg · bshugg@carolinaparent.com
ASSOCIATE EDITOR
Janice Lewine · jlewine@carolinaparent.com
Editor Beth Shugg dons her 1988 high school basketball uniform.
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
DIGITAL DIRECTOR
Allison Hollins · allison.hollins@morris.com
page 15 of our special section, as you provide insight on 30 ways parenting has changed since 1988. Our staff chimes in on this subject as well. (You’ll get a kick out of our 1988 photos!) Other features this month cover treating youth sports injuries in a feature written by Kurt Dusterberg on page 14, and Special Olympics’ 50th anniversary in a piece by Laura Lacy on page 16. You’ll read about some athletes who have participated in and contributed to Special Olympics North Carolina who will uplift and inspire you. Our September columns focus on keeping children safe at home (page 17), the importance of family dinnertime (page 19), what ages kids should start playing team sports (page 20), 30 ways to win the game of social media (page 22) and whether standardized test scores really matter when it comes to applying to colleges (page 23). Our Excursion column on page 24 takes you on an eco tour of Charleston, South Carolina, through which you can discover the low country’s natural side. On page 26 of our calendar section, discover 42 September festivals in the Triangle. You’ll also find plenty of other ways to spend time with your kids in our daily events section. Enjoy this special look back at 1988 and let’s get ready for the next 30 years. Carolina Parent will be with you and your family all the way! COVER PHOTO: Natalie and Andrew Carmen enjoy a spin on the Pullen Park carousel with their son, Daniel. Natalie was born the same year as Carolina Parent: 1988. Cover photo courtesy of Morton Photography
Beth Shugg, Editor
ART DIRECTOR
Sean W. Byrne · seanwbyrne.com
SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST
Lauren Isaacs · lisaacs@carolinaparent.com
INTERN
Audrey Payne · apayne@carolinaparent.com
MEDIA CONSULTANTS
Candi Griffin • cgriffin@carolinaparent.com Sue Chen • schen@carolinaparent.com Jen Pieh • jpieh@carolinaparent.com
ADVERTISING SALES COORDINATOR Julianne Clune · julianne.clune@morris.com
MORRIS VISITOR PUBLICATIONS PRESIDENT
DONNA KESSLER
DIRECTOR OF MANUFACTURING DONALD HORTON
DIRECTOR OF PUBLISHING SERVICES KAREN FRALICK
PRODUCTION COORDINATOR CHER WHEELER
CONTACT US
carolinaparent.com
Phone: 919-956-2430 · Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com · editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 35,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards. Copyright 2018. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.
A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman President & CEO William S. Morris III William S. Morris IV
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carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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FYI COMMUNITY
BY JANICE LEWINE
Image courtesy of gst/Shutterstock.com
Volunteer Opportunities Abound at Local Organizations As students across the Triangle return to school, many will seek opportunities to complete required volunteer hours. Several local organizations need dedicated volunteers, including Orange County Animal Services, Safe Haven for Cats, Raleigh Rescue Mission, Interfaith Food Shuttle, Kramden Institute, Book Harvest and North Carolina Botanical Garden, to name a few. Visit carolinaparent.com/cp/volunteer-and-community-service-opportunities-in-the-triangle (or search carolinaparent.com for “community service opportunities”) for a full list of local and national volunteer opportunities.
City of Durham Receives CHAMPS Grant to Combat Childhood Hunger The National League of Cities and the Food Research and Action Center has awarded the City of Durham a $125,000 grant and 18 months of technical assistance to help expand afterschool and summer meals programs to reduce food
Durham Bulls Ballpark Project Awards $40,000 to Local Organizations The inaugural Durham Bulls Ballpark Project presented by Coastal Credit Union has given four local baseball and softball organizations $10,000 each for facility renovations. Person High School will undergo renovations to both its baseball and softball fields, and Bull City Little League will see an improvement to its facility that houses three fields. Hillsborough Youth Athletic League will benefit from renovations to its facility that serves more than 500 children in its leagues each year, and the Durham Softball facility will have an overhaul for the first time since it was constructed. Each facility will be renovated in the coming months. Learn more at milb.com.
insecurity that many local families face. “We are thrilled to have this grant and we will be using it to increase Photo courtesy of the Durham Bulls
the capacity to serve meals through Durham Public Schools, the Durham County Department of Social Services, and community partners,” says Mayor Steve Schewel. “Our goal is to triple the number of children and families served after school and in the summer from 5,000 to 15,000 per day over the next four years. We will also be
Representatives of the Durham Bulls, Coastal Credit Union, Person High School, Bull City Little League, Durham Softball and Hillsborough Youth Athletic Association gather to celebrate the Durham Bulls Ballpark Project.
opening more sites to serve meals when school is not in session, and
STATS
the reimbursement for these meals
U.S. Hunger Facts
will come through federal programs. This will strike a major blow against childhood hunger in Durham.” Learn more at citiesspeak. org/2018/08/02/six-cities-receive-nlc-
THE NUMBER OF AMERICANS FACING FOOD INSECURITY
THE NUMBER OF KIDS RECEIVING FREE OR REDUCED-PRICE DAILY SCHOOL LUNCHES
THE PERCENTAGE OF FOOD THAT IS THROWN OUT EACH YEAR
49 MILLION
20 MILLION+
40%
grants-for-anti-hunger-campaigns. SOURCE: DoSomething.org
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
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ENGAGING A CHILD’S INNATE CURIOSITY AND SENSE OF WONDER. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
9
FYI EDUCATION
BY KAREN SHORE
Local Teens Raise Money to Help Kenyan Dancers Each year, Cary-based nonprofit
to have the knowledge that
Graceful Expressions Dance
they can and are impacting the
“Many of these kids have
Education funds charitable
world by using their talents and
experienced great trauma and
Chapel Hill Students Become Global Changemakers
endeavors from a portion of
passions,” says Executive Director
stress in their lives,” Schweitzer
After studying a unit on supply
its annual spring performance
April Schweitzer.
says. “Dance gives them an
and demand, scarcity and
outlet for that. They can express
sustainability, and how economic
proceeds. This year, dancers
Kibera’s program aligns with
schools during their trip.
chose to send their executive
the philosophy of Graceful
feelings they may not be able to
factors impact access to water
director and resident
Expressions: To empower
put into words, and they can feel
around the world, a group of
choreographer to the Kibera
children through dance by
free from those worries during
second-graders at Northside
area of Nairobi, Kenya, in July
building confidence, creativity,
the time they are working on
Elementary School in Chapel
to teach dance in four different
discipline and perseverance. The
their art.”
Hill raised nearly $700 for Go
community centers and schools.
teachers taught in four different
“We want our young dancers
community centers and public
Learn more about this at gracefuldance.com.
Conscious Earth, an organization dedicated to preserving rain forests, protecting animals and providing clean water. After meeting Godi Godar of the Democratic Republic of Congo, founder of Go Conscious
Photos courtesy of Graceful Expressions Dance Education
Earth, the students raised the money by holding a coin drive and hosting a market to sell items they made in the school’s library makerspace. From stress balls to beaded jewelry, students used the economic principles they studied to earn additional money for this initiative. Before Godar said goodbye to the children, he emphasized
Triangle Students Win at National History Day Competition
the support their contributions would provide to Congo citizens.
Triangle students put their
her exhibit on the Triangle Waist
were selected to show the Black
knowledge and presentation skills
Company.
Wall Street documentary at the
for one village, and you guys
National Museum of African
will be the heroes,” he told
“We will be able to drill a well
on display at the 44th National
Durham’s Research Triangle
History Day Competition at the
High School students Angelica
American History and Culture in
them. “The people in the village
University of Maryland, College
Dinh and Lucy Grossman also
the Oprah Winfrey Theater, and
will say, ‘These kids in the U.S.
Park, June 10-14.
received the Outstanding Entry
were recognized with a private
have raised these funds, only
Award in the North Carolina
reception for their hard work.
for you.’”
Davis Drive Middle School
Learn more at nhd.org/
student Meghana Chamarty
Senior Division for their Group
took ninth place and won an
Documentary on Black Wall
winners-44th-annual-national-
Outstanding Entry Award for
Street. Dinh and Grossman
history-day-contest.
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
Learn more about Go Conscious Earth at gcearth.org.
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MECHANICAL FILE NAME 2018_08_06_EOS_HeyClinic_CarolinaParent_MECH
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FYI HEALTH
BY KATHERINE KOPP
Troubling Trends Rise in the 2017 CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Study The Trends in Obesity and Dietary Behaviors Photo courtesy of Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock.com
survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention focuses on U.S. students in grades 9-12 and analyzes changes over time in this age group’s dietary habits. Here are some of the findings from the 2017 survey: • In 1999, 4.2 percent reported no vegetable consumption in the seven days preceding the survey. By 2017, that percentage had risen to 7.2 percent. • In 1999, 24.9 percent of students had
Kids’ Sports Participation Shows Slight Decline
eaten at least three servings of fruit or 100 percent fruit juice in the seven
The “State of Play 2017” report from The
6-12 participated in a team sport on a regular
days prior to the survey. In 2017, that
Aspen Institute shows a slight decline in the
basis in 2011, that percentage had declined to
percentage had declined to 18.8
percentage of American children ages 6-12 who
36.9 percent by 2016.
percent.
are participating in team or individual sports.
Regarding individual sports (including
The report, compiled with data through a
cycling, golf, running, skateboarding and tennis,
partnership with the Sports and Fitness Industry
for example), 53.2 of kids ages 6-12 participated
Association, showed that 55.5 percent of
in an individual sport in 2011. In 2016, that
children in this age group participated in team
percentage had declined to 49.8 percent.
sports (including baseball, basketball, volleyball,
Overall, the percentage of kids who
• In 1999, 10.6 percent of students were defined as “obese;” in 2017, that percentage had risen to 14.8. The percentage of students defined as “overweight” increased from 14.1 in 1999 to 15.6 in 2017.
cheerleading, field hockey, football, ice hockey
participated in either team or individual sports
and soccer, among other sports) in 2011. In
declined from 73 percent to 71.5 percent from
2016, that number had increased slightly to 56.3
2011 to 2016. Learn more at aspenprojectplay.
spent more than three hours each day
percent. But while 41.5 percent of children ages
org/the-facts.
on computers, phones and/or video
• The percentage of students who
games increased from 22.1 percent in 2003 to 43 percent in 2017.
BY THE NUMBERS:
30,000
The CDC survey includes information
The number of visits to emergency rooms each year due to food allergies
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
behavior; and more. View the survey and trend fact sheets at cdc.gov/healthyyouth/ data/yrbs/results.htm. Katherine Kopp is a freelance writer in
Source: U.S. Food and Drug Administration
12
on alcohol, drug and tobacco use; sexual
Chapel Hill.
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www.dukestreetsmiles.com carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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Rest resolves most youth sports injuries, but specialization can lead to surgery BY KURT DUSTERBERG
I
f you have a child who excels at a favorite sport, you’ve probably found yourself caught up in the busy world of travel and club sports — high-level teams designed to maximize performance and exposure for your budding star athlete. Before you know it, your son or daughter is playing for multiple teams, traveling to tournaments, practicing constantly and even taking private lessons. For many families, the end game is to land a college athletic scholarship. But, oftentimes, injuries are the more likely outcome — at least in the short term. With increased specialized sports participation comes the likelihood of overuse injuries, and the cause is obvious to orthopedic doctors. Many kids today “specialize” in one sport, rather than play a variety of sports in different seasons. As a result, these athletes stress their growing bodies in the same joints and muscles without enough downtime. The good news is that most injuries to young athletes are easily treated with rest.
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
ALL YOU NEED IS … REST Dr. William Hage, M.D., specializes in arthroscopic treatments for knee and shoulder injuries at EmergeOrtho, which has multiple locations throughout the Triangle. He estimates that 90 percent of the injuries he treats are sports-specific. Baseball players usually suffer from shoulder and elbow pain in the throwing arm, while soccer players often deal with inflammation around the knee and heel. “I see so much more of that because kids are playing the same sport all year round and not switching gears,” Hage says. “Trying to tell the parents that that’s the source of the problem as well as the key to healing is the challenge. They’re afraid they are missing some opportunity for their kid to move up the ranks.” Hage says he spends a lot of time trying to convince parents and kids that time on the sidelines is the only way to heal completely. “It sometimes takes six to eight weeks of rest or modified rest, where they are still participating,” he says. “In baseball, maybe you’re still hitting or taking fielding practice, but you’re not pitching. In soccer, do the drills,
Photo courtesy of Africa Studio/Shutterstock.com
Staying in the Game
WHEN SURGERY BECOMES NECESSARY Some injuries do require surgery to get back in the game, whether they are caused by overuse or an acute traumatic injury, such as a collision or a stressful movement. Baseball pitchers are vulnerable to stretching and tearing the ulnar collateral ligament (UCL) in the elbow, which requires a ligament reconstruction procedure known as Tommy John surgery. Athletes who play cutting and pivoting sports such as basketball, football and soccer are prone to tearing the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) in the knee, which also requires surgery to return to sports. So what can you expect if your child needs to go under the knife to get back in the game? The surgeries that treat most routine sports injuries have been in place for many years, and they typically return the athlete to full strength. While these procedures haven’t undergone significant innovations in recent years, there have been some advances that make the process easier on the patient. “Surgeries in general are becoming more minimally invasive,” says Dr. Jocelyn Wittstein, M.D., a sports medicine orthopedic surgeon for Duke Health. “All these procedures on adolescents are outpatient procedures. They’re going home the same day.” While those short-term improvements make recovery a bit easier, the length of recovery has not necessarily diminished. Wittstein says that in some cases, the time it takes to return to a sport after surgery has increased “because people recognize the risk of re-injury. For ACL tears, we know the risk of re-injury is lower if you return to sport in no sooner than nine months. People used to return to basketball and soccer at six months after an ACL tear. The problem is patience and investing in one’s future versus immediate satisfaction.” Keep in mind that overuse — throwing too many pitches in baseball, for example — is not the only cause of injuries. Most knee
ACL Injury Prevention Seminar Join Duke Sports Medicine specialists for a seminar on ACL injury prevention Sept. 30, 2018, 5-6 p.m., at Soccer Genome, 9101 Durant Rd., Raleigh. Parents, coaches and athletes are invited to see presentations on ACL injury prevention and concussion management. Demonstrations and a Q&A session follow. This event is being hosted by Wake County Sports Medicine Providers: • Dr. Jocelyn Ross Wittstein, M.D. • Dr. Tally E. Lassiter Jr., M.D., MHA • Melissa Raddatz, MSN, FNP-BC • Dr. Jason Lee, M.D. Register at evite.me/H52PzZGUAV.
injuries are the result of twisting, awkward landings and the stress of directional change on the joint. So, the more often you play, the more you put yourself at risk. “These are not necessarily just overuse injuries, they’re just exposure-related,” Wittstein says. “If you have more exposures to cutting and pivoting activity, you’re probably more likely to have a moment where something like that occurs.” If your child is determined to play a particular sport throughout the year, Wittstein suggests following a preventive injury exercise program that emphasizes balance, flexibility and strength. And when the physical demands of playing the games start taking a toll on your child, take control of the situation. “Do not overbook them,” she says. “And parents need to communicate with the coaches. You really have to stand your ground.” Kurt Dusterberg is a freelance writer in Apex. He is the Carolina Hurricanes correspondent for nhl.com and author of the book, “Journeymen: 24 Bittersweet Tales of Short Major League Sports Careers.”
Image courtesy of Fabio Alcini/Shutterstock.com
but maybe you don’t need to play in the scrimmages. The outcomes if you rest are amazing. Kids heal incredibly well almost every time. If you don’t rest, and you push through the pain, usually kids just break down.”
Platelet-Rich Plasma Injections There are some relatively new treatments for healing sports injuries, such as platelet-rich plasma injections. This procedure involves injecting one’s own treated blood into an injured area to promote healing and reduce pain and inflammation. Dr. William Hage, M.D., at EmergeOrtho has used the treatment on adults with tennis elbow, but he does not recommend the procedure for adolescents. “It’s not something I have done in kids because, number one, kids heal incredibly fast anyway; and, number two, kids hate needles. The idea of doing that with a kid is a little off the standard of care. And frankly, it’s still in a very early, experimental phase.”
carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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A Very Special Anniversary Special Olympics commemorates 50 years BY LAURA LACY
TAR HEEL LEGENDS Stories from North Carolina date back to the beginning. Six athletes from the Tar Heel State went to the games in 1968. Mike Stone, the only surviving athlete from those
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
Photos courtesy of Special Olympics
J
ust over half a century ago, a member of the Kennedy family embarked on a journey that impacts millions of people today. But this was no political campaign or government initiative. Rather, Eunice Kennedy Shriver — President John F. Kennedy’s sister — began what would ultimately become the Special Olympics. Shriver’s sister, Rosemary, had an intellectual disability, and their relationship helped Shriver recognize the challenges people with intellectual disabilities faced. “Eunice Kennedy Shriver was very concerned that there were not better conditions for people with intellectual disabilities at that time,” says Keith L. Fishburne, president and CEO of Special Olympics North Carolina. “Many of them were shut away in institutions and just did not have a good quality of life. And, I think, being from the influential Kennedy family, she was able to really create a social change back in those days.” Thus, Shriver launched a camp at her home where people with intellectual disabilities could take part in the fun and games common at any other sports camp. Her program grew, and on July 20, 1968 — 50 years ago — the first international Special Olympics games were held in Chicago. The Kennedys’ involvement, however, is simply one story. With more than five million athletes participating in Special Olympics activities worldwide each year, there are countless more illustrating how special these games really are.
games, accepted a proclamation on behalf of the organization from Gov. Roy Cooper this summer declaring July 20 Special Olympics Day in North Carolina. While Stone’s experience was one of the first, it certainly isn't the last. Nearly 40,000 athletes currently compete in North Carolina’s Special Olympics games each year. The majority compete at the county level, with a local committee recruiting athletes and coaches to ensure they are properly trained. Most county organizations host a yearly event. Additionally, counties receive a yearly quota to send athletes to state-level competitions in Raleigh, Charlotte, Boone and Indian Trail. Regional events, in which athletes from other states participate, also occur throughout the year. A much larger event occurred in 1999. That was the year North Carolina hosted the Special Olympics World Games, thanks in part to athlete Evelyn Noblitt. Fishburne recalls that Noblitt was in her late 40s or early 50s before she competed, because her parents had always worried about the strenuousness of the games. Noblitt began competing after her parents’ deaths and, armed with an outgoing personality, she eventually joined the committee and lobbied to host the 1999 Special Olympics World Games in North Carolina.
Fishburne points out that this is just one example of where athletes with intellectual disabilities can become leaders. “Special Olympics just helps to give them their voice,” Fishburne says. “And in this case, the parents weren’t trying to do anything wrong or bad by Evelyn. They just wanted to protect her. In some sense Evelyn didn't need to be protected. She could take care of herself, and she showed that.” Kristine Hughes, who began participating in North Carolina's Special Olympics in 2002, offers another example of leadership. She parlayed her Special Olympics participation into a career, and now serves as the state’s athlete leadership manager, responsible for overseeing other athletes who serve as ambassadors for the organization. She is also a certified volleyball official. In fact, she called volleyball games at this year’s national Special Olympics games in Seattle. “So often, it’s easy to say no, you can’t do something because of a disability, and being involved with Special Olympics stops that,” Hughes says. “It allows us to take part in sports — in leadership roles that we probably will need … outside of Special Olympics.” Laura Lacy is a freelance writer in Chapel Hill.
Celebrate With Us!
Image courtesy of babayuka/Shutterstock.com
Serving Triangle families for 30 years
carolinaparent.com | 2018 SPECIAL 30 TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE
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Let’s Celebrate! Enter to win our "30 Days of Giveaways" contest! In honor of Carolina Parent’s 30th birthday, we’re giving away one fantastic prize each day in September. To enter, go to carolinaparent.com/cp/contests and fill out our online form on the day that the prize you want to win is being given away. You can enter to win each day in September if you’d like! We’ll choose one winner from each day’s entries who will win that day’s prize. Check out our list below of some of the fabulous prizes up for grabs! Good luck, and thanks for celebrating with us. Here’s to the next 30 years!
• Two tickets with VIP Club access to “Lady Antebellum and Darius Rucker: Summer Plays On Tour” on Oct. 4 at Coastal Credit Union Music Park.
• Two passes to Triangle Rock Club's Introduction to Climbing Class and two-week passes to the gym. • A two-night getaway to the Beacon House
• Trek helmet, bike lights and handlebar bag. • Circle Society Bling Bubble Gum Roller Skates and Classic Cotton Candy Roller Skates.
• A two-night getaway to Margaritaville Resort in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. • A two-night getaway to the DoubleTree Resort by Hilton Myrtle Beach Oceanfront. • Four North Carolina Symphony Young People's
Inn Bed & Breakfast in Carolina Beach. • Four Carowinds Great Pumpkin Fest tickets. • A two-night getaway to Old Salem, including a two-night stay at the Historic Brookstown Inn in Winston Salem, two passes to Old
• Roo Jr. Kammock. • Four Museum of Life and Science passes. • Six Neuse River Valley Model Railroad Club 34th Annual Show passes. • Four one-day passes to the Shakori Hills
Concert Series vouchers. • A Washington Duke Inn & Golf Club Classic Package (overnight stay for two plus breakfast).
Salem and the Reynolda House Museum of American Art, and a $100 gift card to Spring House Restaurant Kitchen & Bar.
Photos courtesy of the companies offering the prizes. Carolina Ballet photo by Rachel Neville Photography. Live Nation photo by Garrett Poulos.
• Four Xtreme Park Adventure passes. • Four tickets to Carolina Ballet's presentation of "The Nutcracker." • Tweetsie Railroad regular admission and Ghost Train tickets for four.
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• American Girl 2018 Doll of the Year, Luciana (plus a three-book series). • Four tickets to the Town of Cary's Marvelous Music Family Series "Kaleidoscopia" performance on Oct. 13. • Crayola Kids@Work Action Blocks 105-piece Tube.
GrassRoots Festival of Music and Dance. • A Wine & Design private party for 10. • Toys, books, games and more!
Carolina Parent Celebrates 30 Years of Serving the Triangle Image courtesy of OlgaArtAbramova/Shutterstock.com
BY CAITLIN WHEELER
B
“Most helpful of all was Steve Schewel, efore the Streets at Southpoint and right here in Durham,” Schonfeld says. PNC Arena were constructed — and Currently mayor of Durham, Schewel is long before Raleigh became a regular also the founder — and was the long-time on Forbes’ best city lists, and Raleighpublisher — of Indy Week, formerly known Durham International Airport offered daily as The Independent Weekly and originally direct flights to Paris — the first issue of known as the North Carolina Independent. Carolina Parent was printed. He published the first edition of the North The brainchild of two highly educated Carolina Independent in 1983. moms looking not only for ways to fill “He could have treated us as their weekends, but also for meaningful competitors, but instead he did everything and flexible work for themselves, Carolina he could to help us out,” Schonfeld says. “He Parent debuted in May 1988. One of its was invaluable.” creators, Gita Schonfeld, had recently moved Mayor Schewel fondly recalls the to the Triangle from Boston. The other, predigital publishing era’s “culture of sharing.” Bobbi Matchar, relocated to the area from “In those days, the daily papers were fat Baltimore. Both women found something with advertising and hugely successful,” he was missing in the Triangle. says. “Of course that’s changed now, but at the Over coffee at Matchar’s kitchen table Carolina Parent debuted in May 1988 time the Indy and Carolina Parent were very in Durham, the two swapped stories about as a five-page folded paper. much the underdogs together.” how much they had relied on local parenting magazines in the past. IN THE BEGINNING “In Boston, there was Boston Parent,” Schonfeld recalls. “In Baltimore, there was Baltimore’s Child,” Matchar remembers. Carolina Parent started as a five-page folded paper, the focal point its extensive calendar of family events. Schonfeld and Matchar, both By the time they had finished their coffee and Schonfeld ‘s married to physicians, generated a lot of their early content from health son was ready to go home, the two moms had resolved to offer the experts. These articles are surprisingly relevant today, from protecting Triangle its own parenting news source — a magazine filled with against skin cancer to the dangers of excessive stress in competitive local events for children, camp listings and parenting advice. A youth sports. “Beware Software,” published in the January 1989 issue, magazine for and about kids and families. cautions parents not to underestimate the effects of computer games on children. It calls attention to the software’s glorification of violence, and RISE OF THE UNDERDOG lack of gender and racial diversity. Neither Schonfeld, who has a doctorate in special education, “It was really nuts,” Schonfeld says of the first couple of years. nor Matchar, who has a master’s degree in social work, had “We were tiny, it was just the two of us, and we did it all.” experience in journalism or publishing. But they were amazed The “all” included generating advertising, developing content, by how welcoming the industry was. They picked up generous typing up articles, laying out pages for printing, and delivering the finished tips from Boston Parent and Baltimore’s Child, and became product to Triangle preschools, schools, pediatric offices and shops. members of Parenting Publications of America — now known “We dragged the kids with us everywhere,” Schonfeld laughs. as Parenting Media Association — an organization connecting parenting publications around the country. They shared ideas about “They played together and ate peanut butter sandwiches strapped into their car seats.” The kids had their own name for the magazine: generating content, setting up contracts with freelancers and how Carolina Peanut Butter. to deal with bad debts.
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From 1988 through 1992, the company was headquartered in the bonus room above Matchar’s garage. “It was very convenient,” Schonfeld says. The magazine was quick to gain a readership, and it began to generate a steady income. Schonfeld and Matchar hired a sales representative and some additional part-time help. Ted Vaden, editor of The News & Observer at that time, approached them with what Schonfeld calls “an offer we couldn’t refuse.” The newspaper had an office in Durham then, and he was the perfect Southern gentleman, Schonfeld recalls. “He wore an impeccable suit and took us out to a fantastic lunch, and then very politely told us that unless we accepted his offer to buy us, he would enter the child/family market and compete with us.” By that point, Schonfeld and Matchar realized they needed more resources to meet their goals, and were happy to have The News & Observer’s backing. So, in 1992, The News & Observer Publishing Company purchased Carolina Parent, and its previous owners packed their bags and moved to an office in the Kress Building on the corner of Main and Magnum streets in Durham. Vaden proved to be a “generous and considerate” boss, and the magazine thrived, growing to over 60,000 in circulation. DAWN OF THE DIGITAL AGE While Schonfeld and Matchar began their venture in the digital dark ages, changes were fast and furious once the internet took hold. “When I first joined, we would print out columns of text, physically paste them on the flats, cut out holes for photos, and then drive them over to Chapel Hill News for printing,” says Liz Holt, one of Carolina Parent’s first hires who stayed with the publication for 18 years. Holt, who started in advertising and ended up as the publisher until 2010, is proud that Carolina Parent has always prioritized technology and invested in the most up-to-date software it could afford. “Technology has definitely been the biggest change over the years,” says Carolina Parent’s retired art director Cheri Vigna, another early hire. “It made a huge difference, allowing for a lot of creativity and flexibility. Though the learning curve was crazy. I remember one Monday, three days before we went to press, I came in and the computer had crashed, taking all of our proofs with it. Thank goodness I had taken home a copy on Friday to review. That’s when I learned you have to have backups.” Designing the look and feel of Carolina Parent came natural to Vigna. She had moved to North Carolina from the Los Angeles magazine world, and was an avid magazine consumer. “I subscribe to 15 or 20, and always have ideas for layout and design,” she says. “I’ve loved that Carolina Parent has been so generous about letting me incorporate them. Even through changes in ownership, we have been given a lot of freedom to make the magazine we want to print.” Vigna notes that one predigital tradition remains: Posting the finished pages up along the office walls for a final read-through.
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Carolina Parent covers over the years. Top row: October 1992 and May 1999; middle row: May 2001 and November 2013; bottom row: November 2014 and March 2015.
“You could always tell when it was the summer camp edition, because there were so many pages we’d have to paste over the windows, and it would be pitch dark inside,” she recalls. A FORMULA FOR SUCCESS The summer camp issue (first published in 1991) is just one of the Carolina Parent’s popular themed issues. It was so popular that Carolina Parent began hosting a corresponding fair for summer camp vendors (first held in 1998). Other popular monthly themes focus on subjects such as pregnancy, technology, travel, teens, etiquette, youth sports, food and parties. The annual Education Guide includes articles on education trends and changes, as well as directories of preschools, private schools, residential schools and other resources. It also includes an Exceptional Child special needs section. The Triangle Go-To Guide offers features that focus on familyfriendly events, activities and attractions. It also includes directories for family resources in the Triangle. By 1998, the magazine had moved from six issues a year to 12, from 20 pages to 84, and it generated a healthy income from advertisers.
Photos courtesy of Bobbi Matchar and Morton Photography
“The success of the magazine was definitely boosted by the success of the area, especially the growth of suburbs like Cary,” Holt says. Vigna agrees, saying she “sort of had a sense of how popular it would be” when she realized how many young families were moving to the Triangle. “Carolina Parent filled a gap. I had a feeling it would.” The publication’s success attracted the attention of Mark Etheridge, owner of Charlotte Parent, Inc., and in 1998 he bought Carolina Parent to form Carolina Parenting, Inc. That’s when the staff moved out of the Kress Building to its current space on Fayetteville Road near the I-40 interchange, making it more accessible to Gita Schonfeld and Bobbi Matchar, shown here in 1988, launched Carolina Parent 30 years ago. Raleigh, Cary and Chapel Hill. Etheridge streamlined the magazine’s Today, Publisher Katie Reeves and Editor Beth Shugg strive to continue the magic Schonfeld and Matchar started. appearance to match that of Charlotte Parent, but, like Vaden, RTP and the universities, to all of our young professionals. We are a Etheridge trusted the staff to continue to steer the magazine in the creative and highly educated community.” right direction. The Triangle has also accumulated a very diverse population, Shugg points out, and says she enjoys the challenge of balancing local CREATED BY PARENTS, FOR PARENTS Southern flavor with topics that might appeal to different ethnicities. Carolina Parent is special in that it has been consistently created “Native North Carolinians are in the minority here. We’ve got by parents for parents. Schonfeld and Matchar started with an ethnicities from all over the world — from India and Asia and South elementary-age bent: Their kids were young and they focused on America. For us to be local is for us to be international.” issues that were familiar and interesting to them. “As our kids grew up, we started featuring older kids’ issues,” MOBILE MAMAS says Vigna, who also had younger children then. “Luckily, our young Shugg agrees with Vigna that technology has made the most impactful staff knew all about the latest new issue for toddlers.” In this way, changes on the magazine. Managing its online presence has been a the different parenting experiences of the staff has naturally kept the major focus since Carolina Parent launched its first website in 2002. magazine’s age focus broad. Today, the website attracts nearly 65,000 unique visitors a month. “Having parents work here is crucial,” says Beth Shugg, who Shugg says working in digital media is a “wild ride.” was hired as the magazine’s associate editor in 2011 and became “It’s constantly changing,” she says. “Google’s search algorithms editor in 2013. “We generate a lot of our story ideas from our own can seem totally arbitrary. One day we can be at the top of a search daily experiences, and it’s great to have younger and older moms results page, the next day nowhere near it. It is just constant, neveraround us on the staff.” ending learning and adjusting.” Reflecting the mass restructuring of the publishing industry in Industry-wide, the shift to online publishing has resulted in the wake of digital media, Augusta, Georgia-based Morris Media a drop in revenue; print advertising simply makes more money. Network, known for its Where travel magazines and a variety of But, Shugg says, the magazine’s Instagram, Facebook and Twitter lifestyle publications, acquired Carolina Parenting, Inc. in 2014. accounts are very popular, and retaining the revenue once generated Current publisher Katie Reeves and husband Bernie Reeves (who by print advertising is just a matter of figuring out alternative passed away in February) had been prominent figures in Raleigh as revenue streams using various forms of digital and social media. publishers of The Spectator and Raleigh Metro Magazine. She says While metrics show that young moms tend to access Carolina taking on a parenting magazine was a new direction for her. So far, she Parent from their phones, Reeves believes there is a trend toward says she feels “totally delighted” with this “unique niche” of publishing. “It’s a lot different,” she says. “I love that these magazines are info- returning to tangible media. “I’ve certainly seen a resurgence in print,” Reeves says. “Even driven and apolitical, so different from everything else in today’s with teens, I’ve seen more reading books and magazines. I don’t media landscape. Carolina Parent is an especially trusted resource, think print is going anywhere fast.” and sets a high standard for the abundance of information it provides, The same is true, she adds, of Carolina Parent. The product of and the vital role it plays for parents in the Triangle.” an afterschool playdate 30 years ago has grown and thrived along Carolina Parent and Charlotte Parent have operated under the with the Triangle, helping thousands of moms and dads navigate same two umbrella publishers since 1998, and the magazines have their early parenting years. benefitted from the cross-pollination of ideas and technical savvy. At “It’s an important part of our community,” Reeves says. the same time, each region is unique and, often, the two magazines “People count on it.” take different approaches to meet the needs of local parents. “We have an identity as a region,” says Reeves, a Wilmington Caitlin Wheeler is a freelance writer living in Durham. native. “As far as I’m concerned, this is the center of the world, from carolinaparent.com | 2018 SPECIAL 30 TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE
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Born in 1988 Perspectives from a new generation of parents
Image courtesy of OlgaArtAbramova/Shutterstock.com
BY SAMANTHA GRATTON
T
hirty years ago, Carolina Parent was born. So were many of today’s parents. To reflect on how life has changed over the years — and the state of parenting today — we gathered insight from a few moms who also turned 30 this year (or will before the year ends). While some of the tools and tactics have changed over time, today’s parents want many of the same things their parents did: happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who are ready to better their community and world. BUILDING ON TRADITION Every generation is different, but the most persuasive examples of how to parent (or, sometimes, how not to) often come from one’s own parents and childhood experiences. “My parents did a wonderful job of loving us and growing our confidence as individuals,” says Natalie Carmen, a North Carolina native who was born in Durham and currently lives in Raleigh with her husband, Andrew, and 2-year-old son, Daniel — and has another baby on the way. “We are still early in the active parenting stage as far as discipline, education, and creating rhythms and traditions.” Carmen and her husband are Andrew, Natalie and Daniel Carmen fans of transparent parenting. “We are enjoy a ride on Pullen Park's carousel. committed to letting our children see us Photo courtesy of Morton Photography disagree, communicate openly, forgive and find resolution,” she says. “For us, the most important aspects of that process are demonstrating healthy communication and demonstrating the need to give and receive forgiveness. While it can be scary to expose our children to the parts of our personality that cause embarrassment, it is more important to us that we demonstrate humility and the characteristics that make us most human. We aim to build on the skillsets that our parents taught us, and we hope that our children, in turn, are able to build upon the skills we teach them.” Samantha Krafte of Durham, mom to 20-month-old Max, places a strong emphasis on family, since it was instilled in her as a child. “Growing up Italian-American meant everything centered around family,” she says. “We are lucky to be raising our son 20 minutes from my
dad, my brother and my husband's parents. We prioritize family visits on weekends and put our little family first, no matter what.” Krafte’s father, Jack Marcheschi of Chapel Hill, now gets to witness his daughter and son-in-law’s familycentered parenting approach firsthand. “Both parents put their son's needs and welfare first, and are willing to sacrifice their own needs and pleasures for those of their child,” Marcheschi says. “They are remarkable about sharing Samantha Krafte and her husband care for the baby, and my son-in-law is celebrated their son Max’s first birthday at the Museum of Life and a much more hands-on dad than I was, Science in Durham. Photo courtesy of and I admire him for that. I always knew Samantha Krafte my daughter would be a great mom because of the type of person she is. My grandson is very lucky to have the two parents he has.” Another way that parents today are building on their experiences is through family traditions. Samantha Krafte with her parents in 1988. “My parents excelled Photo courtesy of Samantha Krafte in building traditions around family time,” says Lauren Sweetman of Cary, mom to 2-year-old Jack. “We spent most of our holidays celebrating with my grandparents, and most Fridays we would do something fun as a family. Samantha Krafte with her father, Jack Marcheschi, I want my son to recognize in the early 1990s. Photo courtesy of Samantha Krafte the importance of family. I'm looking forward to building our own traditions as he gets older.” MAKING CHANGES “I feel like I parent really differently from my parents,” says Cheri Armour of Raleigh, mom to 2-year-old Liam. “I feel like I and a lot of carolinaparent.com | 2018 SPECIAL 30 TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE
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parents don't spank, which was perfectly acceptable when we were growing up. We care about added sugar, and we take what our kids may feel or have to say into account.” Armour feels that, over time, her parents have softened their ways, thanks in part to seeing how she and her husband now raise their son. She has observed that as grandparents, her parents are much more relaxed toward their grandchild, instead of applying the stricter parenting style they used with her. Armour studied social work at North Carolina State University, which she says has influenced some aspects of her parenting style. “I think there's more of an understanding that when your 2-year-old is acting like a complete animal, that’s okay — their frontal lobe isn't developed,” she says. “They're making a lot of leaps, and they're not just being malicious or manipulative. A lot of times, they're going through something.” STRIVING WITH INTENTION Many of today’s moms and dads keep certain intentions in mind regarding how they parent. They strive to consider the big picture and long-term impact of how they’re raising their children. They might look to different resources — books, friends or parenting methods — to help shape their opinions and strategies. At the same time, they hope to offer grace, both to their kids and themselves, as they figure everything out. “My style is I do what works. I know not every kid is going to be the same, so you have to meet your kids where they are,” Armour says. “I think I want my kids to remember that I really did the best I could, the best way I knew how. I hope they Jen Hershberger with her husband and son. Photo courtesy of Jen Hershberger remember the reading, the dancing, the laughing, the jokes and the trips to Whole Foods to find dinner when I ruined a Crock-Pot creation.” Jen Hershberger, who was born in Greensboro and now lives in Wake Forest, feels her Southern upbringing shaped her in Hershberger with her dad in Greensboro. many ways. She hopes to Photo courtesy of Jen Hershberger pass along everything from manners and hospitality to an appreciation for nature to her 14-monthold son, Nolan. She isn’t just thinking about how she parents now, but also about who her son will grow up to be. “I hope to give my tiny human all the love, freedom, safety and security he needs to be a great adult who contributes positively to his community,” Hershberger says. “I want my son to value kindness and compassion for others. I want him to be able to succeed on his own for
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himself, and not just to please others. I want him to learn how to keep himself motivated and inspire others around him.” TAPPING INTO TECHNOLOGY A major presence in modern parenting that wasn’t around 30 years ago is the internet. Whether today's parents use it to research a topic or set up playdates via social media, the wide variety of digital resources available can prove beneficial and overwhelming. “My parents relied on the wisdom of past generations, their pediatrician and those around them,” says Lily*, a mom in Clayton. “In the internet age we have ‘Dr. Google’ and the experiences of parents all over the world to compare our parenting choices to. It's a blessing and a curse to have so much information at our fingertips.” But with that additional information also comes extra support. “I have found wonderful communities on Facebook and Instagram of like-minded parents,” Lily* adds. Jenna Barnett, who started the “Millennial Mom” blog at millienialmom.tv when her daughter was born, aims to bring a voice to millennial parents’ needs. “Millennial parents seem to really love Facebook mom groups, and we use them as a resource for product and service recommendations, and parenting advice and techniques from fellow moms. It’s pretty amazing that at any time I can Jenna Barnett at age 1. just go on Facebook and access a group Photo courtesy of Tyler Barnett of almost 40,000 fellow moms and ask questions like, ‘What potty training techniques worked for you?’ ‘Does anyone have tips for weaning my baby off the bottle?’ ‘What’s everyone’s favorite sippy cup that doesn’t leak?’” SEEKING COMMUNITY Whether established online or through various activities, today’s parents value community. When families are spread out across the country — or even across town — the “village” it takes to raise a child may look different than a tight-knit neighborhood of friends and family, but it’s still there. “I wholeheartedly believe that your village can make or break your parenting experience. We were built for community, and we need to have that network of people to help support us,” says Chelsea Hartweg of Raleigh, mom to 2-year-old Ellie. “Parenthood is beautiful, but it’s also the hardest thing many people will ever have to do, and I can’t imagine going through it without Chelsea Hartweg at age 1. the wonderful people in my life.” Photo courtesy of Chelsea Hartweg
For example, Hartweg hired a doula for childbirth and later helped establish a co-op playschool for young children. She also finds child care support through both her mother and mother-inlaw, and is active in several local and online mom groups. Chelsea Hartweg, her husband, Dana, and her “The amazing people daughter, Ellie. Photo courtesy of Chelsea Hartweg I’ve met from some of those groups have become really close friends of mine — a few of which I really consider co-parents to our family,” Hartweg says. “Having someone you can call when you’re losing it, and then go to their messy house unshowered and just sit together, can be just what you need for those late afternoons when the kids are starting to lose it.” Being able to turn to a community of parents who may be going through the same experiences works in a therapeutic way for many of today’s moms. “I know the concept of ‘a tribe’ may sound cliche, but having a circle of other new-ish mothers has been pretty pivotal,” says Lauren Freudenberger of Louisburg, mom to 10-month-old Myles. “I haven't been in this game long, but so far, one of my biggest efforts has been to curb my anxieties. I remember Lauren Freudenberger with her feeling the stress my parents were under son, Myles. Photo courtesy of when I was a kid, and I seem to have Lauren Freudenberger carried that with me into adulthood. I don't want that for Myles.” Freudenberger is not alone in feeling the impact from her support network and community. Carmen knows she can always lean on loved ones when parenting takes its toll on her. “My best support is from friends and family,” she says. “Like so many seasons of life, it is a great encouragement to know that we are not alone and have many other souls in the cycle of trying, seeing failure and adapting.” Lauren Freudenberger with her dad in 1988. Photo courtesy of Lauren Freudenberger
Samantha Gratton is a freelance writer living in Raleigh. She loves hearing and sharing life stories, traveling on a budget, rock climbing with her husband and doting on her little one.
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DISCOVER THE
MAGNET
ADVANTAGE.
Wake County’s award-winning magnet schools create well-rounded students by challenging them with programs tailored to their strengths and exposing them to new experiences. We invite you to explore our magnet themes to ďŹ nd those that best meet the unique strengths and interests of your child. To learn more, attend the Magnet Fair on Saturday, November 3, 2018, 9 a.m.12 p.m. at Southeast Raleigh Magnet High School. You can also visit us at our Magnet Theme Thursday information sessions - Sept 6, Oct 4, Nov. 1, Dec 6, Jan 10, Jan 17 (10:00 - 11:00 a.m.) at Crossroads 1 (5625 Dillard Drive, Cary).
wcpss.net/magnet (919) 533-7289 magnetcenter@wcpss.net
See Things Differently.
OINT O
RIDE.
The Wake County Public School System has been a leader in the magnet school movement since 1982. We now host more than 20 programs in 52 schools. Our schools have been recognized on a national level with merit awards, grant awards, certiďŹ cation for standards of excellence, as well as teacher and principal of the year awards. We are particularly proud of our six elementary Magnet Schools Grant award winners. Sign up for a tour and explore these innovative magnet programs!
Fox Road International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/foxroades 919-850-8845
Bugg Center for Design & Computer Sciences Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/bugges 919-250-4750
Green Leadership & World Languages Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/greenes 919-881-8141
Lincoln Heights Environmental Connections Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/lincolnheightses 919-557-2587
Millbrook Environmental Connections Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/millbrookes 919-850-8700
Poe Gifted & Talented / Academically & Intellectually Gifted Basics Magnet Elementary www.wcpss.net/poees 919-250-4777
Family Life in 1988 A look at late ’80s trends in the Triangle
BY MANDY HOWARD
I
t was a magical year. Bruce Willis showed us what it was like to “Die Hard.” Tom Cruise wooed Elizabeth Shue while tending his beach bar in “Cocktail.” “Beaches” forced us to decide whether we were C.C. or Hillary. “Big” had kids begging for a giant floor keyboard. And “Beetlejuice” started a fashion trend for black-and-white-striped suits. It was the birth year of “The Wonder Years,” the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, and Carolina Hurricanes' great, Jordan Staal. Speaking of local greats, it was also the birth year of Goodberry’s Frozen Custard, the Washington Duke Inn and Golf Club and, of course, Carolina Parent magazine. When Durham moms Bobbi Matchar and Gita Schonfeld launched this publication 30 years ago, they couldn’t have imagined that North Carolina was on the verge of a population and cultural explosion that would forever transform the Tar Heel state and attract newcomers from all over the world. “It was small back then,” says Jenny Lahiff, a native of North Raleigh who was a freshman at Cardinal Gibbons High School in 1988. “I lived out in Crosswinds near Greystone, and when Stonehenge Market went in, it was a super big deal because we didn’t have a grocery
Goodberry's Frozen Custard opened its first store in 1988. Photo courtesy of Goodberry's Frozen Custard
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Laura Ashley dresses during the late 1980s. Photos courtesy of Laura Ashley USA store anywhere near us. If you lived in North Raleigh, you lived in the boonies,” she laughs. Though in 1988, cars weren’t such a need for Lahiff, who traveled everywhere on her bike. “The rule was, ‘Be home when the streetlights come on.’ I’d usually get home by dark, and I don’t think my parents cared. I mean, they had an idea where I was, but not really!” North Carolina’s very own Goodberry’s Frozen Custard opened its first store in North Raleigh in 1988. Now, there are nine locations across the Triangle, plus two in Australia. “While the Triangle was, in many ways, a very different place when we opened our very first Goodberry’s Frozen Custard location in 1988 at the corner of Spring Forest Road and Atlantic Avenue, what hasn’t changed at all is the tremendous spirit of the area and the character of the people who live here,” says Henry Brathwaite, vice president of Goodberry’s Frozen Custard. “It’s one of the things that makes this area so special, and why it’s such a great place to live, work and raise a family. We’re just honored to have been a small part of the fabric of the Triangle
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community over the last 30 years, and hope that we’ve been the location of a lot of good memories made with family and friends.” FASHION No conversation about 1988 could be complete without talking about style. And when it came to late 1980s special occasions, the Laura Ashley brand — which celebrates its 65th anniversary this year — comes to mind. Of course, it also helped that Princess Diana was a fan of the brand. “I'm the youngest of three girls. It was a big day when we would drive to the Hanes Mall in Winston-Salem to buy matching dresses that we’d wear to church on Sunday,” says Amy Piland, a Raleigh mom and Greensboro native who loved Laura Ashley dresses. Laura Ashley USA President Penne Cairoli says that embracing the independent and versatile feel of the 1980s helped Laura Ashley become the must-have dress of the time. “With a nod towards the Victorian era, along with classic ’80s puffy sleeves, the styles tapped into the romantic and free-spirited
Image courtesy of OlgaArtAbramova/Shutterstock.com
1980s decade,” Cairoli says. “Women could wear tomboy baggy sweaters or a preppy turned-up collar polo one day, but turn to our versatile dresses the next.” For Raleigh locals, shopping trips were often to North Hills Mall. In 1988, this shopping destination was not the modern, outdoor boutique shopping center Triangle residents know today, but rather an enclosed mall that included favorites like The Limited, Ivey’s and Woolworth’s (the place to get baseball cards and candy.) “That’s where you went for your Forenza sweaters and Gasoline jeans,” Lahiff says. “And, if you’re lucky, your one Benetton shirt,” she adds. Dunn native Emily Powell says fashion was important, but “everything was about the hair.” The oldest of three girls, Powell recited with alarming detail the impressive routine to ensure her hair was on point. “You start with the big body wave. Then you get a section and wrap it around your curling iron, spray and hold until you see the smoke coming out. Then, you tease it and spray some more.”
Dunn native Emily Powell, shown here 1988, perfected the ’80s teased-bangs look. Photo courtesy of Emily Powell PARENTING PRIOR TO POCKETSIZED SCREENS Despite the pervasive trends, Raleigh mom Robin Mentha believes it was easier to raise kids with an independent spirit in 1988. Her daughter, Cassie, was born in 1984. “I think it’s more difficult now,” she says. “There’s so much more information now, computers were just starting to come into our homes then.”
In 1976, Mentha lived on Poole Road (where there is now a Burger King). Determined not to have N.C. Interstate 440 as their front yard, Mentha and her husband bought 5 acres of land on Creedmoor Road so they could live in ‘the country.’ “Well, it used to be the country,” Mentha laughs. Inspired by the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, South Korea, Cassie wanted to try everything from gymnastics to swimming. Mentha encouraged her curiosity and had no problem with Cassie stopping one activity to pursue another. She believed, like many parents of the time, “The more opportunities a kid has, the better!” While it’s true that "ThunderCats" (author’s note: I was Cheetara), "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" and "The Real Ghostbusters" started dominating airwaves and toy shelves, most families only had one TV, so kids only had Saturday morning before relinquishing the den and channel control back to Dad. And although Nintendo was the hottest-selling toy of the year, usually only one kid on the block had one. “It was simpler,” Mentha says. “We even had a wood-burner for heat, so a lot of time was spent snuggling by the fire while Cassie read ‘The Baby-Sitters Club.’” Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia and Stacey (the original members of "The Baby-Sitters Club") were joined in literary popularity by Ramona Quimby, Sweet Valley High twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, and comic book favorites Calvin and Hobbes. Parenting books were flying off shelves in record numbers. John Rosemond’s “Parent Power” advocated a less-is-more parenting style, while pregnant moms turned to 1984’s “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” (“What to Expect the First Year” debuted in 1989.) THE MORE THINGS CHANGE… Carolina Parent has been here for Triangle parents as the region’s population has doubled; as fashions, styles and trends have changed; and as the world was revolutionized by smartphones. But Mentha insists that wisdom remains unchanged. “My three favorite phrases when Cassie was growing up, are still applicable today:
‘Don’t expect too much,’ ‘Pick your battles’ and ‘Learn to let go.’” While it may be challenging to let go of 1980s nostalgia, it’s even crazier to think that another 30 years from now, Carolina Parent will be celebrating its 60th anniversary and readers will reminisce the trends of 2018.
The author, Mandy Howard, and her family in 1988. Photo courtesy of Mandy Howard Mandy Howard is a mother of three and freelance writer in Raleigh.
TOP POP HITS OF 1988 1. "Faith" by George Michael 2. "Need You Tonight" by INXS 3. "Got My Mind Set on You" by George Harrison 4. "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley 5. "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses 6. "So Emotional" by Whitney Houston 7. "Heaven is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle 8. "Could've Been" by Tiffany 9. "Hands to Heaven" by Breathe 10. "Roll With It" by Steve Winwood Source: Billboard TOP MOVIES OF 1988 1. "Die Hard" 2. "Rain Man" 3. "Beetlejuice" 4. "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" 5. "Big" 6. "Mississippi Burning" 7. "Coming to America" 8. "Scrooged" 9. "Bull Durham" 10. "Young Guns" Source: Ranker.com
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MATTER. GROW. BELONG.
30 Ways Parenting Has Changed Since 1988
COMPILED BY THE CAROLINA PARENT STAFF
W
e asked you, our readers, to describe how parenting has changed since the first issue of Carolina Parent debuted in 1988. Here are 30 insightful answers, plus answers from (and 1988 photos of ) our staff. It’s no surprise that the most common observations focus on technology and the digital revolution’s impact on parenting.
1. Children now are attached to their phones. It’s much harder now for parents get kids playing outside or using their imaginations. — Maya Lindley, Carrboro
4. Parents are now communicating with kids by text message and having to monitor their children’s social media accounts. — LaShonda Alston, Raleigh
2. It’s harder to protect children from things you don’t necessarily want them to see. — Erin Holmes, Knightdale
5. Children are not as active. They spend more time on the couch playing video games than outside playing. So you have to become computer savvy to keep up with them. — Lisa Collins, Garner
3. I play podcasts for my kids instead of books on tape. — Khadijeh Zarafshar, Durham
6. There is more screen time and less family time. — Lekha Velamakanni, Raleigh 7. It’s easy to Google answers to questions about parenting. — Sarah Codd, Garner
8. Parents have discovered disciplinary alternatives to spanking children. — Kavitha Subramaniam, Raleigh
BETH SHUGG, EDITOR "I see many of today's parents turning to experts and social media connections for parenting advice. I believe, however, that when parents follow their instincts, they usually make the best decisions. No one knows your kid better than you do! One other big change: digital photography!"
9. We used to ask our grandparents for advice on how to raise our children. — Aileen Plaza, Holly Springs
KATIE REEVES, PUBLISHER "Parents today have to be like the Secret Service. They have to stay five steps ahead of their children and anticipate their every move. Monitoring their safety is done on multiple levels in a world where communication becomes a weapon. Parents deserve more respect than ever for navigating the fast-forward culture of the past 30 years."
1O. Many parents are raising their kids far from grandparents and other extended family, which makes us rely more on neighbors and friends. — Marilyn Marrero, Cary 11. Car seat safety has improved; guidelines and products have come a long way in the past 30 years. — Kerry Meagher, Raleigh
JANICE LEWINE, ASSOCIATE EDITOR "Today’s kids are under enormous pressure — academic, social and extracurricular. Their childhood is slipping away too quickly, and there’s less time to just be a kid and let life unfold at a normal pace. It pains me to see them overwhelmed, unlike how we had it in the ’80s. We make family time a priority so we can enjoy these precious moments with them — before it’s too late."
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JACK MORTON, PHOTOGRAPHER "My parents allowed me to get dirty, 'be home by dark,' and not finish in the top five … and they trusted me — to a degree — to look after myself in 1988 (I was 10). As an only child, that only helped to build a stronger foundation of independence and a celebration of the skills I possessed, with little obsession over the ones I was lacking. The 1980s were a magical decade to be a kid."
12. Fathers are more involved in child rearing. This was just beginning in the ’70s and ’80s. — Lillian Spiller, Durham
13. Parents now have to watch their kids any time they are outdoors. — Melissa Merker, Apex
14. There’s more competition to be Supermom and to show your kids achieving via social media, now that it exists. — Brandi Scammell, Hillsborough
15. Kids’ exposure to online bullying has required parents to teach kids about these
things and to monitor their social media activity to make sure they are not being bullied — or bullying others. — Leann Simpson-Tarokh, Cary
different than the standard mom, dad and two children. Good parenting acknowledges this diversity and celebrates it. — Amy Wolz, Raleigh
17. There is more helicopter parenting. — Erin Rohrbach, Fuquay-Varina
18. There are more organized activities and
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21. Formula feeding has gotten so much easier. Powdered formula with bottled water means no boiling water, or bottles or plastic bags for the bottles. My goodness, I would have loved to have had it that easy. — Sandra Haefele, Roxboro
22. There is too much information on
moms. — Michelle Schoepper, Durham
how to parent and, consequently, a loss of trusting parental instincts. Parents are looking to others — especially via social media — for advice. — Sarah Pearce, Raleigh
20. Parents used to have more time with
23. Kids are more outspoken and want to
19. There is more judgment now among
"Social media has made a big difference in parenting. It seem kids these days have so many distractions; they are on social media, mobile phones or other 'screens' so much that it’s hard to get their full attention. It has made parenting more challenging, and harder to communicate with our children."
"Parents today seem more interested in documenting their child's life than enjoying it. Step away from social media and enjoy the moment!"
16. Today’s families might look very
more acceptance of dads as caregivers. — David Ropp, Chapel Hill
SUE CHEN, MEDIA CONSULTANT
CANDI GRIFFIN, MEDIA CONSULTANT
their children to teach them life lessons at home. Also, nature and exploration was much more of a normal routine verses major family adventure. — Carrie Pickworth, Zebulon
be heard. It’s our job as parents to hear them and have a conversation with them. They understand more and we talk to them like people and not babies. — Jennifer Faustino, Raleigh
JEN PIEH, MEDIA CONSULTANT "Personal knowledge wasn't even questioned in the ’80s. With the invention of the internet, this new generation of parenting is armed with much more knowledge about medicine, growth charts and milestones their children should be hitting and when."
2018 SPECIAL 30 TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE | carolinaparent.com
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LAUREN ISAACS, SOCIAL MEDIA SPECIALIST "Smartphones, tablets and other digital distractions have opened our world to a wealth of information and connections, but unfortunately they also pull time away from our families. It's a whole new management of my time that my parents never had to deal with." SEAN BYRNE, ART DIRECTOR
24. There is more helicopter parenting.
27. Lots of kids have food allergies, which
— Erin Rohrbach, Fuquay-Varina
didn’t seem like a concern when I was growing up. — Kim Gaetz, Raleigh
25. The biggest difference between my
"There's a diaper-changing station in the men's room. Progress!"
childhood in 1988 and my preschoolers’ current childhood is the limitation of freedom to play and explore due to safety concerns in today’s society. — Chelsey Hernley, Raleigh
28. We feel the need to occupy a child’s every moment. There are academic pressures on children at a much younger age. — Kim Simmons, Raleigh
30. Parents are much more involved in their
26. Our lives seem to revolve around
29. There are more expectations for kids
Share your observations on how parenting has changed since 1988 by commenting on this article at carolinaparent.com. Search for "30 Ways Parenting Has Changed" and scroll to the bottom of the article.
activities, and some perceive you to be a “terrible” parent if your child isn’t in at least one sport/club/music lesson. — Sabrina Chatten, Raleigh
to be compared to their peers, and more pressure on parents to do everything right. There are less expectations for kids to be independent. — Bianca Howard, Cary
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GROWING UP
Image courtesy of ph7design/Shutterstock.com
and move hazardous products like rubbing alcohol, nail polish, polish remover, cleaning products, bath salts and perfumes into an upper cabinet — preferably one secured with a latch. Use toilet locks to keep the toilet lid closed. The basin of cool water is tempting, but top-heavy tots can tip into the bowl and drown in just a few inches of water, Trostel says.
ELEMENTARY YEARS
Beyond Baby Gates Keeping kids safer at home BY MALIA JACOBSON
W
ith less time away from a caregiver’s gaze than kids enjoyed a few decades ago, children today may be the most supervised generation yet. Even with more caregiver supervision, one fact remains: Kids are prone to accidents. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, accidental falls and injuries are still the leading cause of death for children under the age of 14, and most accidents occur in or around a child’s home. “While we can’t eliminate every possibility, our best defense is to make our homes as safe as possible,” says child-proofing expert Kenny Lynerd, owner of Child Safe Home Inc. in Cary. Here’s how to keep kids safer, from birth through the teen years.
EARLY YEARS
Splash Guard Mention baby-proofing and most new parents think of baby gates and cabinet latches. While these items are important — baby gates should be screw-mounted at the top and bottom of all staircases — they don’t address all household hazards. “Baby gates and cabinet latches are great ways to keep your babies and young children away from dangerous areas and items in your home. However, there are many other dangers in the home that you might not think of as a new parent,” says Annie Trostel, health education specialist in the Center for Childhood Injury Prevention at Texas Children’s Hospital. Take the bathroom — a space brimming with potential safety hazards, from cleaning and grooming products to the water in the toilet. Use doorknob covers to keep toddlers out of the bathroom,
Window Wellness Childhood safety hazards don’t disappear once kids outgrow baby gates. Falls from second- or third-story windows send thousands of kids to the hospital each year, and parents may not think about securing windows when kids grow past toddlerhood. Never assume that a window screen can prevent a fall, says Stopat4", a child window-fall prevention organization. Its guideline for window safety is easy to remember: Kids shouldn’t be able to open windows more than 4 inches. This means installing window stops on windows within a child’s reach, or child-safe window guards for windows that you may want to open more than 4 inches. If you’re building a home or installing new windows, ask about built-in limiting devices to keep windows from opening wider than 4 inches. Teach children never to sit or play on windowsills, no matter how inviting they seem, and move all furniture that kids can climb onto away from windows, Lynerd says.
TEEN YEARS
First-Aid Brigade Teens face less danger from household accidents than their younger counterparts, but caregivers still shouldn’t let safety slide. Make teens safety stakeholders by enlisting their help in assembling and maintaining one or several family first-aid kits. Teens will be better able to find and use a first-aid kit they helped create. First, pick an easy-to-access spot for your kit — one that is simple to point out to babysitters and visiting relatives. Choose a durable, cleanable container — a small fishing tackle box or hardside makeup kit works well. Find a list of recommended items for a family-size first-aid kit on the American Red Cross website at redcross.org, Trostel advises. And think beyond bandages. Make sure to include less obvious items like aspirin, a space blanket, tweezers and scissors. Remember to stash an extra first-aid kit in the car and with camping gear. Pack a mini-kit for day trips and hikes. Don’t forget to complete the kit by adding needed medications for family members and phone numbers of emergency contacts. Take firstaid knowledge further by enrolling your teen in a first-aid and CPR course, and take comfort in the knowledge that your not-so-little kid is a lot safer — both inside and outside the home. Malia Jacobson is a nationally published health and parenting journalist and mom. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
17
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FATHER FIGURING
Ringing the Dinner Bell BY WHITNEY MACDONALD
. I’ .” It’s hard to say how many games of basketball, whiffle
Fast forward 20 years and you would have seen the same thing in my family with my wife and sons. It wasn’t so much a
ball, street hockey, football or other sporting activity ended
conscious decision; it was just what we did. We couldn’t imagine
with those words when I was a kid. Whether they came out
it otherwise. Both my wife and I worked when our kids were
of my mouth or my friend’s, it was understood that there was
young, so it was sometimes a scramble to get dinner finished. But
no arguing about one more basket or out: Being late for dinner
we always did and, in our busy lives, it was the most cherished
was not an option. Coming home late too often might get you
part of the day.
grounded or land you some extra chores, like doing the dishes for a week. Busting through the door was always followed with the question: “What’s for dinner?” There were favorite dinners and meals I hated, but what was on the table was what we ate. I didn’t think much about it then,
I did my fair bit of refereeing, and helped our sons navigate heartaches, mean teachers, unfair friends and moments of triumph. We found strength in being together, and even during our sons’ teen years, where at times our relationships were strained, we stuck it out and ate together. There were days when
but I marvel now that during
dinner might be the only time
much of my childhood, my
we saw our older son — and
mom — a working, single
even if he didn’t talk to us, he
parent — always had dinner
sat with us.
on the table. In all the houses in my neighborhood the ritual was the same — families gathered for dinner. Kids did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, and then started their homework and got ready for the next day. In the summer, we could go out again for an evening game of flashlight tag or just hanging around with friends, but dinnertime was family time. We weren’t allowed to have music playing and certainly
I once heard someone say that the family “we” is the platform from which the “I” is launched. “We do this ... ” as a family becomes “I stand for this ... ” as a teenager and adult. It’s not easy in today’s busy world to create the moments that make a “we” out of a family’s individuals. As the kids grow up, it becomes even harder to fly in the face of their individual preferences and insist on rituals such as dinnertime. But if a
couldn’t have the TV on during dinner — even if the Bruins or
simple plate of spaghetti on a busy day, or a favorite meal from
Red Sox were playing. We never ate until everyone was seated,
time to time can help give my boys the foundation to say, “I do
and we never got up until everyone was finished. We talked
this because it’s the right thing,” put an apron on me and fire
about our day, finished arguments that needed Mom’s refereeing
up the stove, because it’s time for dinner.
— usually because my little brother was slacking on his chores, and sticking me and my sister with them — he was an expert at
Whitney MacDonald lives in Hillsborough with his wife, Amy,
that! As teenagers, we took turns moping about some heartbreak,
and works nationally and internationally as an educational
complaining about some teacher or recalling funny anecdotes
consultant. He runs workshops on topics ranging from traditional
from the day. I can’t think of many days we didn’t eat together. It
games to parenting, rites of passage for teens and conflict
was family time that my mother guarded fiercely.
resolution. Learn more at creatingmen.com. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
19
Image courtesy of Inspiring/Shutterstock.com
I
“
UNDERSTANDING KIDS
Should My Child Play a Sport? BY LUCY DANIELS CENTER STAFF
begin to be able to delay their individual wishes for the sake of their
E
team, and can think about and consider the group’s goals over their xtracurricular activities, when balanced with open-ended,
own. Depending on your child’s interests, he or she may wish to
free-play time, can enhance and enrich a child’s life. Choosing
continue to develop individual skills in a sport such as gymnastics,
the right activity for your child depends on a number of factors,
but he or she may also wish to add a sport that
including age; emotional and social development; your child’s
has a group orientation in order to feel like a
abilities and interests; and the chance that the experiences will be successful, positive and rewarding.
member of a greater whole. This has both social and cultural significance. If your child is not interested
CHILDREN YOUNGER THAN AGE 6
in sports, there are many other
When thinking about appropriate activities
opportunities to achieve this sense of
for young children, it helps to think about
group inclusion. Consider a scouting
their current phase of development and what
organization, band or orchestra, or clubs
they are working toward mastering. Young
that work toward a common goal.
children are learning to care for themselves, follow directions and self-regulate (develop
BALANCE OF ACTIVITIES
self-control). Children under age 6 tend to be less
While parents have the task of exposing their children to new
group-oriented. While they are learning about being a
experiences and ensuring that they are not becoming hyper-
part of a group in their family — as well as their daycare, preschool or
focused on only one area, it’s equally important to consider the
kindergarten class — they have not yet fully developed the ability to put
child’s wishes about how many and which activities feel right.
their needs and wishes to the side, or at least delay them, for the sake of
Children of all ages benefit when there is a balance between their
the group. To illustrate this point, imagine trying to organize a group of
scheduled life and downtime at home. Open-ended free play is an
toddlers to collaborate as a team on a soccer field. This
important outlet that helps children develop creativity, problem-
effort would more likely result in 11 individual teams,
solving skills, reasoning and focus.
rather than one cohesive group.
CHANCE OF SUCCESS
individualized skill-building and self-regulation,
A final determining factor when choosing any activity
such as swimming, Taekwondo or gymnastics,
or experience for your child is whether you believe the
are great ways to help young children try new
outcome will be positive and successful. If your school-aged
experiences and develop gross motor strength,
child is not emotionally ready for a team sport, putting him
as well as self-control and attention to directions.
or her on a team will likely delay his or her readiness rather
If a preschool- or kindergarten-aged child seems
than force your child to rise to the occasion. Consider choosing
emotionally ready to take lessons in this type of
activities that your child feels will be successful. Building upon
setting, without a parent’s direct support, adding activities
successes, as your child is ready and able, will help support his or
once or twice a week can provide fun and rewarding experiences.
her overall development.
CHILDREN AGES 6 AND OLDER
The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes
Children become more group-oriented as they grow older, which
the emotional health and well-being of children and families.
is why team sports become so popular. Children ages 6 and older
Visit lucydanielscenter.org to learn more..
20
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
Images courtesy of Olga1818/Shutterstock.com
Extracurricular activities that focus on
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21
Image courtesy of Jane Kelly/Shutterstock.com
TECH TALK
30 Ways to Win the Game of Social Media BY LAURA TIERNEY
W
hen was the last time you gave your child social media advice that started with the word “don’t”? “Don’t post that picture.” “Don’t join that platform.” “Don’t post anything that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see.” “Don’t ever think about sharing a nude photo with your boyfriend or girlfriend.” “Don’t do this, and don’t do that.” Sound familiar? Think about it: Any great coach doesn’t just coach players on what not to do. Rather than saying, “Don’t throw the ball that way” or “Don’t shoot it that way,” a great coach huddles with his or her players and coaches them on what to do. Social media is no different. Consider it the largest game in the world that millions of people play every day — including, perhaps, your child. The moves we make are our likes, shares, posts, comments and who we choose to follow. With each move, we potentially “win” by strengthening our reputation, building friendships and changing our world for the better. However, we can also “lose” by tarnishing our reputation and bringing down others. When we emphasize the do’s rather than the don’ts, we help our kids win at social media. To celebrate Carolina Parent’s 30th anniversary, let’s highlight 30 winning moves on social media — for kids and adults. Only do’s allowed — no don’ts. Because when we empower and equip, rather than scare and restrict, we all have the chance to win at social media and use it for good.
2. DO remember you only get one
1. DO understand that what you share
16. DO accept friend requests from
22
reputation — not two, three or one-and-a-half. 3. DO share what reflects your values, goals and interests. 4. DO be mindful that what you like, share and follow can influence others’ opinions of you. 5. DO remember that the number of likes you receive shouldn’t shape what you love. 6. DO understand that your social actions can affect your short- and long-term goals. 7. DO use social media to help you reach your short- and long-term goals. 8. DO protect your private information and know that apps, advertisers and bullies will come after it. 9. DO respect others’ privacy like it’s your own — whether it’s a friend or a stranger in the background of a photo. 10. DO remember that nothing is free. When you click “I agree,” you pay by sharing your personal information. 11. DO get your priorities done (homework, hobbies, etc.) before diving into entertainment-focused screen time. 12. DO value others by looking them in the eye, not down at your phone. 13. DO speak up and say something if you see a potentially dangerous post. 14. DO cyberback others who are being cyberbullied, even if it’s by sending a simple private message. 15. DO encourage and celebrate the winning moves you see your friends make every day.
online publicly represents your character
people you wouldn’t mind introducing
and reputation.
to your parents.
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
17. DO follow people who encourage you to be the best version of yourself you can be. 18. DO avoid falling for fake news by knowing which sources to trust — from publishers to friends. 19. DO use social media as a microphone to spark positive change in the world. 20. DO know when to turn that microphone on, up and off. 21. DO use your microphone to inspire others to make positive changes in the community. 22. DO be open to listening to others who have different viewpoints, backgrounds and cultures. 23. DO “coach down” by helping people younger than you are know how to use social media in a positive way. 24. DO “coach up” by helping people older than you are know how to better understand social media. 25. DO help create common tech standards for your family that parents and kids will follow. 26. DO hold each other accountable to your family’s standards. 27. DO take regular breaks to “zone out.” 28. DO control your devices instead of letting them control you. 29. DO remember that you could be a role model on social media to someone else. 30. DO focus on the do’s, not just the don’ts! Laura Tierney, a digital native who got her first phone at age 13, is founder and president of The Social Institute, which offers students positive ways to handle one of the biggest drivers of their social development: social media. She also recently became a mom. Learn more at thesocialinstitute.com.
COLLEGE TRANSITIONS
Do Standardized Tests Scores Really Matter? BY DAVE BERGMAN, ED.D.
Image courtesy of Bryan Pollard/Shutterstock.com
I
n the last decade, the idea that colleges no longer care that much about standardized test scores has become prevalent in admissions discourse. Many
schools like to brag about how they view test scores as just one of a multitude of factors in the admissions process. Yet, like a seventh-grade boy who spends two hours in front of the mirror every morning trying to perfect his Justin Bieber bangs while simultaneously proclaiming that he “doesn’t
Wake Forest University is just one of the highly selective schools that doesn’t require standardized test scores.
care what anyone thinks,” the facts about test scores quite simply belie the claim. Despite media talk, and institutional reports
As a general rule, larger schools rely more
raising the average scores they can report
on test scores than do smaller liberal arts
to U.S. News and World Report. Thus, these
of the SAT’s and ACT’s diminishing roles, the
colleges merely as a tool to pare down a
institutions can accept lower-performing
data suggest that standardized test scores
massive applicant pool. In a pragmatic sense,
applicants with full impunity.
have actually become more important in
it would be difficult for admissions officers
recent years. Rankings are still driven, in part,
at a school like the University of California at
but not sufficient for admission at the vast
by test scores. The admissions process at most
Los Angeles to wade through 113,000-plus
majority of highly selective schools. At smaller
institutions (with few exceptions, like Reed
applications, sans SAT/ACT data, without
institutions, a student with an excellent overall
College) is still beholden to and driven by the
feeling like harried cashiers in a Weimer
profile but weaker test scores may receive
almighty rankings.
Republic farmer’s market.
a closer look, but unless that school is test-
The bottom line: Test scores are necessary
In fact, for U.S. News and World Report’s
On the other side, the last decade
2018 college rankings, standardized test scores
has indeed seen a rise in “test-optional”
accounted for 8 percent of the publication’s
schools. American University, Bates College,
ranking algorithm, which is a greater weight
Bowdoin College, the University of Chicago,
Dave Bergman, Ed.D., is a co-founder of College
than factors such as a college’s graduation rate,
Connecticut College, George Washington
Transitions, a team of college planning experts
how many students were in the top 10 percent
University, Bryn Mawr College, Franklin &
committed to guiding families through the
of their high school graduating class, and alumni
Marshall College, Hamilton College, Pitzer
college admissions process. He is also co-author
giving (an indicator of graduate satisfaction). Not
College, Union College and Wake Forest
of “The Enlightened College Applicant: A New
surprisingly, the “top” schools remain those with
University are just a sampling of the highly-
Approach to the Search and Admissions Process.”
freshman classes having the highest SAT scores.
selective schools that have adopted a “test
Learn more at collegetransitions.com.
Even with 1,000-plus schools now operating
optional” policy. While this choice may open
with a test-optional policy, more than 82
doors for the test-averse, don’t mistake
CORRECTION: In our August College Transitions
percent of colleges still state that test scores
the intent of the policy as wholeheartedly
column, we erroneously listed the University
are important in their admissions decisions.
charitable or representative of a sweeping
of Southern California as the University of
Almost 55 percent of colleges consider them
philosophical shift. Test-optional schools
South Carolina. This was an editorial mistake
to be “very important,” compared with just 46
generally only receive scores from applicants
in interpreting the acronym USC, and we
percent of schools 25 years ago.
who excelled on the test, which ends up
apologize for the error.
optional, or that applicant can throw a 70-yard tight spiral, the scores still stir the drink.
carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
23
EXCURSION
Charleston Eco Tours Discover the low country’s natural side BY MARILYN JONES
W
e are barely underway when our boat
skeletons and stumps left on the shore from
captain, Mike, announces that there
erosion. This area of deserted beach offers us
are dolphins nearby. All 16 passengers
a glimpse of what barrier islands looked like
— six children, six parents and four
before beachfront houses and condos arrived. Children gather around a naturalist to learn about stone crabs and blue crabs. Photo courtesy of Marilyn Jones
grandparents — clamber to one side of the
The afternoon’s grand finale is a crab
boat to glimpse the mammals coming to the
boil. Mike and John have plenty of crabs for
surface and diving again. Our Barrier Island
everyone to enjoy. When the time is right,
Eco Tour Blue Crabbing Excursion is off to a
and the crabs are perfectly steamed, Mike
great start; we are already making discoveries
adds Old Bay Seasoning and dumps the crabs
owls, hawks, falcons and other birds of
along the South Carolina shoreline.
on two tables, arranging them around bowls
prey are presented in an entertaining and
of melted butter. John teaches everyone the
educational manner via guided tours and
Captain Mike makes a stop so that John, our
proper way to crack open the crustacean for
flight demonstrations. These and other
onboard naturalist, can pull up a crab trap from
accessing the sweet meat.
programs are offered year-round. Tickets
Motoring along the Intracoastal Waterway,
the depths and onto the boat. Inside are stone
Barrier Island Eco Tours leave from Isle of
The Center for Birds of Prey: Eagles,
start at $12 for ages 6-17, and $18 for ages
crabs, blue crabs and plant life that John uses
Palms Marina. The Blue Crabbing Excursion
18 and older. Ages 5 and younger are free.
for “show and tell” — a ready-made marine
is offered Memorial Day through Labor Day,
thecenterforbirdsofprey.org.
classroom. John talks about each crab species,
and costs $36 for ages 12 and younger and
the impressive cutting and crushing power
$46 for ages 13 and older. Ages 2 and younger
specializes in dolphin boat and kayak
of their claws, and how a female lays millions
are free. The company also offers a Capers
tours. Guests explore scenic waterways in
of eggs over her lifetime. John also shows
Wildlife Exploration tour and Dolphin
search of dolphins. Adventures also include
everyone how to catch crabs the old-fashioned
Discovery Sunset Cruise. Learn more at
birding, shelling and exploring Morris Island
way — with a handline and crab net.
nature-tours.com.
Lighthouse. The Folly River Dolphin Boat Tour
Our next destination is Capers Island, an undeveloped barrier island located 15 miles
For more information about the area, go to charlestoncvb.com.
north of Charleston. After Mike beaches the
Flipper Finders: The eco-tour company
is offered March through early November and costs $35 for children and $45 for adults (ages not defined). flipperfinders.com
boat, he and John provide each of us with
OTHER CHARLESTONAREA ECO TOURS
handlines, already baited with chicken necks,
Sandlapper Water Tours: This two-hour
WHERE TO STAY:
and a net for our crabbing attempts.
Guided Nature Tour and Cruise of Charleston
Wild Dunes Resort on Isle of Palms is located
Harbor explores Charleston’s abundant
close to Barrier Island Eco Tours and offers
edge to try their hand at crabbing, seeking
coastal wildlife and the Charleston Harbor
The Boardwalk Inn, The Village at Wild Dunes,
just the right place for sure success. Soon they
area. Tours cost $25 for ages 11 and younger,
vacation rentals, condominiums and cottages.
The children gleefully rush to the water’s
leave their lines behind and begin splashing in and $35 for ages 12 and older. Ages 3 and small tidewater pools and playing impromptu
younger are free. sandlappertours.com.
Tideline Tours: By boat or kayak, guests learn
games of tag. An afternoon of sunshine and
Amenities include a private beach, golf, tennis and Dune Bug Club activities for ages 5-10. destinationhotels.com/wild-dunes.
exploration lay ahead for the children as they
about the Carolina coast and its many inhabitants.
explore the island.
The two-hour Salt Marsh Adventure boat tour
Marilyn Jones is a freelance writer
is offered year-round and costs $35 for children
specializing in travel. Her articles routinely
most beautiful features is Boneyard Beach.
ages 12 and younger, and $45 for ages 13 and older.
appear in magazines and major newspapers
Its name comes from old, sun-bleached tree
Kayak tours begin at $75. tidelinetours.com.
throughout the U.S. and Canada.
One of Capers Island Heritage Preserve’s
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2018
OUR PICKS BY AUDREY PAYNE
Horses for Hope Fall Hay Day | Sept. 29 Take the family for pony rides, a horse grooming station and introductory trail rides at Horses for Hope’s annual Fall Hay Day, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. See riding and horsemanship demonstrations, meet Woody and Jessie from “Toy Story,” and enjoy food trucks and games. Festival admission is free. Activity wristbands for games and one hayride are $10; other activities charge a $1-$20 Photos courtesy of Chapel Hill Downtown Partnership
fee. Horses for Hope promotes healing for individuals of all ages and abilities by using horses in a therapeutic, interactive way. Horses for Hope is located at 2909 Banks Rd., Raleigh. Photo courtesy of Jill Boadway Photography
horsesforhope.org/event/fall-hay-day.
Tar Heel Downtown | Sept. 14 Are you ready for some football? Kick off UNC-Chapel Hill’s football season at Tar Heel Downtown, a giant pep rally on West Franklin Street, 6-9 p.m. Tar Heel Downtown takes place the night before the first home game of the season against the University of Central Florida and features interactive family activities, concessions, face painting and live music. Fans can meet Carolina favorites Rameses, the Marching Tar Heels and the Tar Heel cheerleaders. Admission is free. tarheeldowntown.com.
Take a pony ride and watch horsemanship demonstrations at the Horses for Hope Fall Hay Day in Raleigh on Sept. 29.
Photos courtesy of Karen Swain/NCMNS
BugFest | Sept. 15 Hear what the buzz is all about at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Science’s annual BugFest, 9 a.m.-7 p.m. (The museum closes at 5 p.m., and Bugfest activities move outside at that time.) Arthropods, the featured creature at this year’s festival, join katydids, stinkbugs, cockroaches, cicadas and other creepy crawlies to enlighten visitors of all ages through educational exhibits, displays and activities. Take a strange bug to the Stump the Experts table, sample dishes with bugs as the main course at Café Insecta, learn about beekeeping, and observe the noctural activities of fireflies and moths at the lively Evening Insectival, 5-7 p.m. Admission is free. 11 West Jones St., Raleigh. naturalsciences.org/calendar/bugfest.
Sample culinary delights with insects as the main ingredient at BugFest Sept. 15 at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2018
FESTIVALS BY JANICE LEWINE
KNIGHTDALE EDUCATION FESTIVAL KFEST
SEPT. 1-2 – Fayetteville St., downtown Raleigh. All ages. Free. 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Saturday; 1-10 p.m. Sunday. Explore AfricanAmerican culture and history with an art gallery walk, vendors, kids’ activities, food and more. See website for hours. aacfestival.org.
SEPT. 8 – Knightdale Station Park, 810 N. First Ave., Knightdale. All ages. 1-8 p.m. Free. Explore the elements of STEAM. (science, technology, engineering, art and math) through interactive activities, nonprofit organizations and more. knightdalenc.gov/departments/ parks-recreation-and-cultural-programs/ festivals-and-events-0.
MINI BIOBLITZ SEPT. 6 – Piedmont Wildlife Center, 364 Leigh Farm Rd., Durham. All ages. 5:308:30 p.m. Free. Celebrate wildlife and search for reptiles, amphibians and insects. Learn how to identify common backyard plants, make crafts, track a box turtle through the woods and more. piedmontwildlifecenter.org/events/ bioblitz2018.
RALEIGH GREEK FESTIVAL SEPT. 7-9 – Jim Graham Building at the North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 5-10 p.m. Friday; 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday; 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday. $3/adults, $2/ages 13-18 and seniors. Free for ages 12 and younger. The 37th annual Raleigh Greek Festival features folk dancing, live music, authentic cuisine, a marketplace and more. greekfestivalraleigh.com.
AKC RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERSHIP DAY SEPT. 8 – North Carolina State Fairgrounds, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 10 a.m.3 p.m. Free. Dogs and their owners enjoy contests, breed parades, giveaways, games, a mini agility course and more. akc.org/sports/ responsible-dog-ownership-days/flagship-akcresponsible-dog-ownership-day-2018.
FAMILY DAY AT DUKE HOMESTEAD Sept. 8 – Duke Homestead, 2828 Duke Homestead Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Free. Family Day features inclusive activities for several ability levels. Learn all about life at Duke Homestead in the 1800s and make a craft. dukehomestead.org/special-events.php.
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TRUNG THU MOON FESTIVAL SEPT. 8 – Renaissance Centre, 405 Brooks St., Wake Forest. All ages. 5:30-10 p.m. $6-$8. Wake Forest celebrates its Vietnamese culture with music, stories, dance, arts and crafts, and more. The event concludes with a children’s lantern parade. Purchase tickets online. etix.com (search for “Trung Thu Moon”).
CLAYTON HARVEST & MUSIC FESTIVAL SEPT. 12-16 –Main St., downtown Clayton. All ages. See the website for hours. Free. Clayton’s annual music festival showcases live entertainment, food vendors, rides, hands-on activities, local talent performances, a car show and more. townofclaytonnc.org/downtownclayton/clayton-harvest-music-festival.aspx.
ENTREPALOOZA 2018 SEPT. 13 – Talley Student Union at North Carolina State University, 2610 Cates Ave., Raleigh. All ages. 5:30-8 p.m. Free. NCSU’s annual entrepreneurship and innovation festival features creative business ideas from students, alumni and community partners. Reserve tickets online. entrepreneurship.ncsu. edu/event/entrepalooza-2018.
HOPPIN’ JOHN OLDTIME AND BLUEGRASS FIDDLER’S CONVENTION Sept. 13-15 – Shakori Hills, 1439 Henderson Tanyard Rd., Pittsboro. All ages. $18 and up. Enjoy fiddlers, bluegrass music, hayrides and family square dancing. hoppinjohn.org.
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
SPARKCON 2018 SEPT. 13-16 – Fayetteville St., downtown Raleigh. All ages. Free. Celebrate the best in creative expression at this four-day festival that features live entertainment, hands-on activities, food trucks and more. sparkcon.com.
HILLSBOROUGH HOG DAY SEPT. 14-15 – River Park, 114 E. Margaret Ln., Hillsborough. All ages. 6-10 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Saturday. Free. Hillsborough’s annual celebration of barbecue features local bands, games, a dessert contest and more. hogday.org.
TAR HEEL DOWNTOWN SEPT. 14 – Franklin St., downtown Chapel Hill. All ages. 6-9 p.m. Free. Enjoy a pep rally the night before the Tar Heels’ first home football game of the season. The event features an outdoor concert, interactive games for kids, face painting and Rameses, the Tar Heel mascot. tarheeldowntown.com.
13TH ANNUAL FALL HARVEST CELEBRATION SEPT. 15 – Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.3 p.m. Free. Welcome fall’s arrival with corn-grinding demonstrations, costumed tours of Yates Mill, kids’ scavenger hunt, antique vehicles and storytellers at this annual fall festival. Mill tours charge a $3-$5 fee. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill/pages/ fallharvest.aspx.
BUGFEST SEPT. 15 – North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. All ages.
9 a.m.-7 p.m. Free. Experience more than 100 exhibits, crafts, games and activities dedicated to bugs and other creepy crawlies. naturalsciences.org/calendar/bugfest.
BYGONE DAZE SEPT. 15 – Page-Walker Arts & History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary. All ages. 10 a.m.4 p.m. Free. Step back in time to celebrate the Page Walker Arts & History Center’s 150th year with carriage rides, crafts, games and more. townofcary.org (search for “Bygone Daze”).
CENTERFEST ARTS FESTIVAL SEPT. 15-16 – Downtown Durham, 120 Morris St., Durham. All ages. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Saturday; 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday. $5 suggested donation. Durham’s renowned arts festival showcases 145 juried visual artists from across the U.S., 600 performing artists from North Carolina, food vendors and a Creative Kids Zone. centerfest.durhamarts.org.
CREEDMOOR MUSIC FESTIVAL SEPT. 15 – Main St., Creedmoor. 10 a.m.6 p.m. Free. Carnival food aficionados and music lovers converge on Main Street in Creedmoor to enjoy free kids’ activities, handcrafted merchandise, live music and more. cityofcreedmoor.org/musicfestival.
DOG DAY IN THE PARK SEPT. 15 – Sugg Farm at Bass Lake Park, 2401 Grigsby Ave., Holly Springs. All ages. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Take Fido and the rest of the family for animal entertainment, adoption opportunities, vendors and more. hollyspringsnc.us/355/dog-day-in-the-park.
SPARKcon 2018 takes place Sept. 13-16 in Raleigh.
Photo courtesy of Dan Hacker
AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL FESTIVAL
CALENDAR Photo courtesy of Dulce Levitz
SEPTEMBER 2018 pumpkins take center stage at this festival featuring live music, food trucks, inflatables and hayrides. knightdalenc.gov/mumkin-fest-1.
EAST MEETS WEST FESTIVAL Hippie Tribe Fest takes place Sept. 29 in Holly Springs.
CARNAVAL LATINO
DRAGON BOAT FESTIVAL
SEPT. 16 – Garner Performing Arts Center, Back Lawn, 125 Avery St., Garner. All ages. 1-5 p.m. Free. Celebrate Latino culture with live bands, food trucks, dance performances, face painting, a piñata giveaway, crafts and more. garnernc.gov/departments/parks-recreationand-cultural-resources/events/carnaval-latino.
SEPT. 22 – Booth Amphitheatre, 8003 Regency Pkwy., Cary. All ages. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. $5 advance ticket, $8 at the door. Free for ages 12 and younger. See a variety of dragon boats and enjoy cultural displays, games and stage performances. boothamphitheatre.com/ event/2018-dragon-boat-festival.
BENSON MULE DAYS
GROOVE IN THE GARDEN
SEPT. 20-23 – Downtown Benson, 500 S. Market St., Benson. All ages. See the website for hours and fees. Benson’s celebrated festival features rodeos, a mule-pulling contest, arts and crafts vendors, carnival rides, street performers and bluegrass shows. bensonmuledays.com.
SEPT. 22 – Raleigh Little Theatre, 301 Pogue St., Raleigh. All ages. 2:15 p.m.; gates open at 1:30 p.m. $10 advance tickets, $15 at the door. Enjoy live music while kids play games and make crafts in the Kids Zone. raleighlittletheatre.org/ events/groove-in-the-garden-18.
CAPITAL CITY BIKEFEST
SEPT. 22 – Project Enlightenment, 501 S. Boylan Ave., Raleigh. All ages. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Games, crafts, fire trucks, police dogs, face painting and more highlight this event to benefit Project Enlightenment in Wake County. projectenlightenment.wcpss.net.
SEPT. 21-23 – Raleigh Convention Center, 500 S. Salisbury St, Raleigh. All ages. See the website for the schedule. $10 for ages 13 and older. Free for ages 12 and younger. Celebrate the motorcycle lifestyle with stunt shows, specialty rides, a pre-1972 car show and more. capitalcitybikefest.com.
16TH INTERNATIONAL FOOD AND MUSIC FESTIVAL SEPT. 22 – J. Ashley Wall Towne Square, Cyprus and Third Streets, Wendell. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. Enjoy authentic foods from a dozen countries, live entertainment, games and inflatables. thefoodfestival.com.
CITY OF OAKS PIRATE FEST SEPT. 22 – North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. All ages. 9 a.m.5 p.m. Free. Learn more about the history of pirates in North Carolina, play swashbuckling games, make pirate crafts and meet Blackbeard himself. Reserve tickets online. ncmuseumofhistory.org/pirate-fest.
PROJECT PALOOZA
TAKE A CHILD OUTSIDE WEEK KICKOFF CELEBRATION SEPT. 23 – Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. All ages. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. Experience a day of outdoor activities and nature adventures to kick off Take a Child Outside Week. townofcary.org.
APPLE DAY AT THE STATE FARMERS MARKET SEPT. 27 – State Farmers Market, 1201 Agriculture St., Raleigh. All ages. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Apple Day features fresh North Carolina apples, an apple dessert and more. ncagr.gov/ markets/facilities/markets/raleigh/promos.htm.
MUMKIN FEST SEPT. 28 – Knightdale Station Park, 810 N. First Ave., Knightdale. All ages. 6-8 p.m. Friday; 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday. Free. Mums and
SEPT. 29 – Park West Village, Village Market Place, Morrisville. All ages. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Free. Celebrate Morrisville, Wake County’s most diverse community, with a day of food, culture and music from around the world. eastmeetswestmorrisville.org.
HARVEST FESTIVAL SEPT. 29 – St. Gregorios Indian Orthodox Church, 225 Bashford Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 2-8 p.m. Free. Take the family for authentic cuisine, stage performances, music, a live auction and kids games. harvestfestnc.com.
HIPPIE TRIBE FEST SEPT. 29 – Sugg Farm Park at Bass Lake, 2401 Grigsby Ave., Holly Springs. All ages. Noon-7 p.m. $5 advance tickets, $10 at the door. Free for ages 12 and younger. Get into a groovy mood at this event that showcases musical artists, bohemian craft vendors, kids’ activities, face painting, food trucks and more. Purchase tickets online. eventbrite.com/e/hippie-tribefest-tickets-40127641857.
ORANGE COUNTY LOCALFEST SEPT. 29 – Blackwood Farm Park, 4215 N.C. Hwy. 86, Hillsborough. All ages. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Free. Celebrate Orange County’s heritage and culture with local food, music, cooking demonstrations and artisans. orangecountylocalfest.com.
STORYTELLING FESTIVAL SEPT. 29 – Historic Oak View County Park, 4028 Carya Dr., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Free. Hear stories from professional storytellers and enjoy activity tents, live music and food vendors. facebook.com/events/1787205574906877.
WAKE FOREST DANCE FESTIVAL SEPT. 29 – E. Carroll Joyner Park, 701 Harris Rd., Wake Forest. All ages. 9:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Free. See professional dancers and local rising performers from Wake Forest showcase their talents in this annual event. wakeforestnc.gov/ wake-forest-dance-festival.aspx.
YOUNGSVILLE FALL FESTIVAL SEPT. 29 – 125 U.S. 1-A, Youngsville. 9 a.m.5 p.m. Free. Usher in the fall season with a food truck rodeo, car show, face painting, a craft show and more. youngsvillefallfestival.com.
CANIAC CARNIVAL
HORSES FOR HOPE FALL HAY DAY SEPT. 29 – Horses for Hope, 2909 Banks Rd., Raleigh. All ages. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Free admission. Activity wristbands for games and one hayride are $10; other activities charge a $1-$20 fee. Fall Hay Day features pony rides, horsemanship demonstrations, a petting area, hayrides, games, food trucks and an appearance by Woody and Jesse from “Toy Story.” horsesforhope.org/event/fall-hay-dayfamily-event.
SEPT. 30 – PNC Arena, 1400 Edwards Mill Rd., Raleigh. 12:15-3 p.m. Free. Enjoy inflatable rides, games, booths, a kid’s zone, appearances by Stormy and the Pepsi Storm Squad, live music and more. nhl.com/hurricanes/fans/caniac-carnival.
CARRBORO MUSIC FESTIVAL SEPT. 30 – Carrboro Town Hall, 301 W. Main St., Carrboro. All ages. 1-7 p.m. Free. Carrboro’s signature music festival showcases Triangle-area performers. carrboromusicfestival.com.
KIDS TOGETHER WALK, RUN AND ROLL FOR INCLUSIVENESS
JEWISH CULTURAL FESTIVAL
SEPT. 29 – Kids Together Playground, 111 Thurston Dr., Cary. All ages. 10-11:30 a.m. $15/family, $5/individual. Take part in a 1.4mile walk for inclusiveness. Registration and activities begin at 10 a.m.; the walk begins at 10:30 a.m. Refreshments, games and more round out the fun. kidstogethercary.org.
SEPT. 30 – Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. All ages. 1-4 p.m. Free. Celebrate Sukkot, Judaism’s harvest holiday, with Jewish foods, traditional dancing, a tour of the community garden and more. townofcary.org/recreation-enjoyment/events/ holiday-events/jewish-cultural-festival.
carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2018
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CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2018
DAILY 1 SATURDAY Birding with Vernon. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 8:30-10 a.m. Free. Join bird enthusiast Vernon for an easy walk while looking and listening for feathered friends. Discover different types of birds and their habitats. All ages. Meet at the Waterwise Garden. wakegov.com/parks/lakecrabtree. Kids Pawpaw Song and Dance Celebration. Funny Girl Farm, 504 Erwin Rd., Durham. 9:30-10:45 a.m. $20-$25. Learn about pawpaws, North Carolina’s largest native fruit, and make musical instruments. Ages infant-8. Register online. funnygirlfarm.wixsite. com/funnygirlfarm/events. Saturdays at the Old Mill. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 1-3 p.m. $5/adults, $3/ages 7–16. View the main power drive and milling machinery while exploring the mill’s history and aspects of its preservation. Tickets available inside the visitor center. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Cirque Italia. International Foods, 3424 Olympia Dr., Raleigh. All ages. 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 p.m. See website for fees. A cast of performers from around the globe dazzle audiences with acrobatic and aerial performances, lifelike elephant puppets, a futuristic laser act and more. Purchase tickets online. cirqueitalia.com.
2 SUNDAY Cirque Italia. See Sept. 1. Guided Farm Tours With Goat Cuddle Time. Hux Family Farm, 1923 Shaw Rd., Durham. 1-2:30 p.m. $10/person. Tour the farm, spend time with farmers who care about the environment and meet friendly animals. All ages. Tickets must be purchased in advance online; the farm is not open to drop-in visitors. eventbrite. com/e/guided-farm-tours-with-goatcuddle-time-tickets-4674710083. Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 2-4 p.m. $5/adults,
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$3/ages 7–16. Explore the inner workings of the mill and witness the power of water as it turns the milling machinery. Ages 7 and older. Reservations encouraged. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
3 MONDAY Cirque Italia. See Sept. 1. 1:30 and 4:30 p.m. Going to Seed. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. $1/person. Harvest seeds from the garden and create seed packets for a yard. Ages 5 and older. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay. Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. See Sept. 2. September Stroll. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 10-11:30 a.m. $1 per person. Enjoy an interactive hike with park staff. All ages with adult. Meet in the Educational Gardens. Advance online registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.
6:30-8 p.m. Free. Join park staff for an informal fishing experience. Take your own pole or borrow one through the Tackle Loaner Program. Bait and basic instruction provided. All ages. Participants 16 years and older must have a valid North Carolina fishing license to participate. Fishing is catch-and-release only. Registration required. wakegov.com/ parks/lakecrabtree. Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. See Sept. 2. 2-3 p.m. Storytime for Tots: Playing Possum. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 1-2 p.m. Free. Learn about opossums and make a craft. Ages 2-6. Meet at the Beech Shelter. Registration required. wakegov.com/ parks/lakecrabtree.
6 THURSDAY “North Carolina and World War I.” See Sept. 4.
4 TUESDAY
7 FRIDAY
“North Carolina and World War I.” North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Free. View more than 500 artifacts, period photography, historical film footage, a trench diorama, educational components and video re-enactments featuring North Carolina soldiers and citizens who served their country 100 years ago. ncmuseumofhistory. org/exhibits/nc-world-war-one.
Back to School Bingo. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $11/resident, $14/nonresident. Join members of the Cary Teen Council for a back-to-school celebration featuring prizes and ice cream sundaes. Ages 5-10. Register online. Choose course #117710. classweb.townofcary.org. Sneetches on the Beaches. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Read “The Sneetches” by Dr. Seuss and make
5 WEDNESDAY Crabtree Casters. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville.
CALENDAR POLICY The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. Visit carolinaparent.com/calendar to submit an event for consideration by the 6th of the month for the next month’s issue. Please call ahead to confirm dates and times. This calendar may include some events not intended for young children. Find more events at carolinaparent.com/calendar.
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
Sneetch-themed crafts. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Specialized Recreation: Sports Night. Middle Creek Community Center, 123 Middle Creek Park Ave., Cary. 7-9 p.m. $9/ resident, $12/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs play games in the gym. Register online. Choose course #116906. classweb.townofcary.org.
8 SATURDAY Billions of Beetles. American Tobacco Trail, 1309 New Hill-Olive Chapel Rd., Apex. 10-11 a.m. $1 per person. Discover and explore beetle habitats. All ages with adult. Meet at the New Hill parking area. Advance online registration required. wakegov.com/parks/att. Dig For Duke. Southern Sand Volleyball, 6175 Old Jenks Rd., Apex. Take part in Dig for Duke, a 2-v-2 beach volleyball tournament to raise money for Duke Children’s Hospital. Ages 8 and older. Register online. digforduke.com. Discover the Park: Walk in the Woods. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex. 10-11 a.m. Free. Take a walk in the woods to discover the animals and plants that call the park home. Help collect data for the Natural Resource Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. Ages 14 and older. Registration not required. Meet at the park office. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Discovery Tables: Bugs. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex. 1-3 p.m. Free. Explore the bugs of the park at the discovery table located at the upper playground. All ages. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Grappling For Good Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Tournament. Dorton Arena, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Free-$85. Register by Sept. 4 to compete in a Jiu Jitsu tournament to raise money for Alex’s Lemonade Stand. GI-only tournament. All ages. tapcancerout.org/grappling-for-good. Head for the Cure 5K Run/Walk NC Triangle. Southern Village Green, 400
CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2018 Market St., Chapel Hill. 9-10:30 a.m. $30-$40. Take part in a 5K to raise funds and awareness for the brain tumor community. Register online. events. headforthecure.org. Saturdays at the Old Mill. See Sept. 1. Scavenger Hunt for Grandparents and Grandkids. W.D. Hill Recreation Center, 1308 Fayetteville St., Durham. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Celebrate Grandparents Day by taking part in a scavenger hunt. All ages. dprplaymore.org. What’s the Buzz on Honeybees? Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Meet a beekeeper, sample some local honey and learn about urban beekeeping. All ages with adult. Register online. Choose course #226916. reclink.raleighnc.gov.
9 SUNDAY Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. See Sept. 2. Playing with the Elements: Leaf Ornaments. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 2-3:30 p.m. $3/person. Make leaf ornaments. Ages 7-12. Register online. Choose course #226755. reclink.raleighnc.gov.
10 MONDAY Kids Discover Nature: Box Turtle at Long Pond. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/child. Learn about box turtles and make a turtle craft to take home. Ages 1-6 with adult. Meet at the Cypress Shelter. Advance registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake. Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Fall Gourds and Pumpkins. The Clay Studio, 1058 W. Club Blvd., Durham. $15/ child. Create ceramic artwork using handbuilding techniques and paint the pieces using liquid-colored clay. Ages 2 and older with adult. Register online for either the 10-11:30 a.m. or 4-5:30 p.m. session. durhamarts.org. Tiny Tots: ABCs in Nature. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex.
10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. Practice your ABCs and develop fine motor skills through games and hands-on activities. Play a letter game and go on a scavenger hunt. Ages 18 months3 years with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
11 TUESDAY Parent/Child Clay Workshop: Fall Gourds and Pumpkins. See Sept. 10. 4-5:30 p.m. Preschool Swamp Romp: Butterflies. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $2/person. Preschooler and parent enjoy a craft, activity and guided walk through the wetland. Register online. Choose course #226757. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Slow-Moving Creatures. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.noon. $1/person. Learn about slugs, snails and slimy bugs through hands-on science experiments with a hike and craft. All ages with adult. Registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
Wee Wetland Walkers. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Enjoy an easy hike around the greenway accompanied by a naturalist. Register online. Choose course #226766. reclink.raleighnc.gov.
14 FRIDAY “North Carolina and World War I.” See Sept. 4.
15 SATURDAY
Nature Stories: Crowing for Joy. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 1-2 p.m. $4/ child. Learn crow facts through stories and activities. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay. Nature Watchers: A Snail’s Spell. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/child. Read ”A Snail’s Spell” by Joanne Ryder and search for snail hiding places. Observe the critters up close and enjoy a snail-themed snack. Ages 3-5 with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
Curiosity Club: Bees and Bugs. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.-noon. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 5-8 embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Register online. Choose course #117273. classweb.townofcary.org. Historic Trades: The Farm Family. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Free. Take your family and learn what your roles on a 19th-century farm would have been through fun activities and crafts. All ages. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Pirate Adventure. Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. 3:30-5 p.m. $23/parent and child pair; $12/additional child. Help Black Beard find his lost gold in Bond Park. Ages 6-12 with adult. Meet at the Buehler Shelter. Register online. Choose course #116418. townofcary.org. Tots on Trails: Flowers. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver discover nature on a morning stroll. Register online. Choose course #117284. classweb.townofcary.org.
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16 SUNDAY
“In Just One Evening.” Getting to the Heart of Twins. Free. 6-9 p.m. Local author Marilyn Shannon hosts a panel discussion on twins, their relationships and more. Register online. eventbrite. com/e/in-just-one-evening-getting-tothe-heart-of-twins-tickets-48487223591.
Author Visits: “Please Don’t Let Me Be the Oldest Mom in the PTA: Stories about Mid-Life Motherhood.” Barnes & Noble, 760 S.E. Maynard Rd., Cary. 6 p.m. Free. Sharon O’Donnell discusses her new book featuring humorous and poignant
12 WEDNESDAY
stories of having a child at 38. stores. barnesandnoble.com/store/2647. Eco-Explorers: Snakes. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10 a.m.-noon. $8/resident, $10/ nonresident. Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Register online. classweb.townofcary.org. Guided Farm Tours With Goat Cuddle Time. See Sept. 2. Seasons on a Farm: Bringing in the Harvest. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 1-5 p.m. Free. Learn how farmers harvested crops such as wheat before the invention of mechanized harvesters. Try threshing wheat by hand and make a craft to take home. All ages. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
17 MONDAY Specialized Recreation: Indian Vegetarian Korma. Herbert C. Young Community Center, 101 Wilkinson Ave., Cary. 3:45- 5:15 p.m. $19/resident, $24/ nonresident. Children with special needs make a vegetable curry. Ages 11 and older. Register online. Choose course #116721. classweb.townofcary.org.
18 TUESDAY Homeschool/Track-out: Plant Detectives. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 1-3 p.m. Free. Learn about plants. Ages 6–13. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/lakecrabtree. Nature Peekers: “I Love Spiders.” Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. Read the story by John Parker, sing a spider song and pretend to be a spider before taking a short walk to mist spider webs. Ages 18 months-3 years with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.
19 WEDNESDAY Crabtree Casters. See Sept. 5. History Detective Mill Tour. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake
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CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 2018
Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $5/adult, $3/ages 16 and younger. Solve puzzles, hunt for clues and investigate the milling inside the only remaining water-powered gristmill in Wake County. All ages. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Invent It! Inventors and the Patent System. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10-11 a.m. $4/child. Hear invention stories, including that of Oliver Evans, who invented the automated milling system used at Yates Mill. Ages 7–14. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
20 THURSDAY Discovery Table: The Autumnal Equinox. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 8:30 a.m-5 p.m. Free. Explore fun facts and folklore about this special time of year. All ages. Registration not required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Tots on Trails: Where’s Wildlife? Jack Smith Park, 9725 Penny Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. Ages 1-5 and caregiver discover nature on a morning stroll. Register online. Choose course #117285. classweb.townofcary.org.
21 FRIDAY Crowder by Night: Owl Prowl. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 6:30-7:30 p.m. $1/person. Learn about owls, dissect an owl pellet and practice owl calls. All ages with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/crowder. Hoo’s Eating Hoo? Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 7-9 p.m. Free. Learn about owls and examine and owl pellet. Join park staff on a hike to look for signs of owls, other predators and their prey. Registration required. Ages 7 and older. wakegov.com/parks/lakecrabtree. Lakeside Movies. Bond Park, 801 High House Rd., Cary. All ages. 7:30 p.m. Free. See a family-friendly movie
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by the lake. Movie begins at dusk. classweb.townofcary.org.
22 SATURDAY Beaver Pond. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m.noon. $3/child. Discover how beavers live, eat and play in their watery world. Search for beaver signs around the pond. Ages 3-5 with parent. Advance registration required. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Saturdays at the Old Mill. See Sept. 1. Twilight Walk. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 5229 Awls Haven Dr., Raleigh. 7-8:30 p.m. $2. Take a walk with a park naturalist to explore the woods and fields at twilight. Look for deer, coyotes and owls. All ages. Register online. Choose course #228258. reclink.raleighnc.gov.
23 SUNDAY Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. See Sept. 2. Raleigh LUNGe Forward 5K, Run, Walk & Rally. Midtown Park, 4011 Cardinal at North Hills, Raleigh. Noon-4 p.m. Free-$30. Take part in a 5K race, kids’ dash and family activities to raise awareness in the fight against lung cancer in North Carolina. lungcancerinitiativenc.org/lungeforward-5k-series. Wetland Explorers. Walnut Creek Wetland Park, 950 Peterson St., Raleigh. Free. Examine creeks, trees and logs. Ages 5 and older. Register online for either the 2-3 p.m. or 4-5 p.m. session. reclink.raleighnc.gov.
24 MONDAY Autumn Leaves. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Make a craft inspired by the changing colors of leaves. Materials provided. All ages with adult. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
25 TUESDAY Family Wildlife Series: Hopper Herding. Blue Jay Point County Park,
SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com
3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3 p.m. Free. Search the meadow for katydids, cicadas, crickets and other insects. All ages. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay. A Side of History: Harvest-time for the Ingalls. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Road, Raleigh. 2-3:30 p.m. $6/person. Discover how the Ingalls family prepared for winter. Ages 5 and older with adult. Register online. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.
26 WEDNESDAY Specialized Recreation: Traditional Lawn Games. Page-Walker Arts & History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary. 4-5 p.m. $4/resident, $5/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs enjoy croquet, bocci, corn hole, ladder ball and more. Register online. Choose course #117149. classweb.townofcary.org.
27 THURSDAY Animals of Lake Crabtree. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 9-10 a.m. Free. Discover which animals call Lake Crabtree home. Take a hike in search them and the signs that they leave behind. All ages. wakegov.com/parks/lakecrabtree. Playtime in the Park. Downtown Cary Park, 319 S. Academy St., Cary. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Free. Enjoy giant board games and special activities. All ages. townofcary.org. Specialized Recreation: Trivia Night. Cary Senior Center, 120 Maury O’Dell Place, Cary. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $2/resident, $3/nonresident. Ages 11 and older with special needs enjoy trivia about sports, music, movies and more. Register online. Choose course #116583. classweb.townofcary.org.
28 FRIDAY “North Carolina and World War I.” See Sept. 4.
29 SATURDAY Friendly Snakes. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 11 a.m.-noon. Free. Meet friendly snakes and learn about common snakes found in central North Carolina. All ages. Meet at the Cypress Shelter. Advance online registration is required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake. Matthew Cordell Visits. Quail Ridge Books, 4209-100 Lassister Mill Rd., Raleigh. 10:30 a.m. Free. Meet author and illustrator Matthew Cordell for a storytime celebrating the release of his new book, “King Alice.” Ages 3 and older. Receive a signing line ticket with a Quail Ridge Books purchase of “King Alice.” quailridgebooks.com/event/cordell18. Saturdays at the Old Mill. See Sept. 1.
30 SUNDAY ACL Injury Prevention Presentation. Soccer Genome, 9101 Durant Rd., Raleigh. 5-6 p.m. Free. Parents, coaches and athletes are invited to attend presentations on ACL injury prevention and concussion management. Register online. evite.me/H52PzZGUAV. Kids Go Outdoors. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 4:30-6 p.m. Free. Go on a nature scavenger hunt to search for park wildlife. All ages with adult. Registration is required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Honeysuckle Wreath-Making. American Tobacco Trail, 1309 New HillOlive Chapel Rd., Apex. 1-3 p.m. Free. Create a wreath from honeysuckle. Take gloves, pruning shears and a water bottle. Meet at the New Hill Parking Area. All ages. Advance registration required online. wakegov.com/parks/att. Mill Heritage and Local History Tours. See Sept. 2. Tracks and Traps. Crowder County Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Road, Apex. 2-3 p.m. Free. Observe nature on a hike and use bug traps to catch and release insects. All ages with adult. wakegov.com/parks/crowder.
FACES & PLACES
Olivia (5) enjoys a fun day at Defy Gravity in Durham.
Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun in the Triangle at carolinaparent.com/facesandplaces.
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FACES & PLACES
Norah (6) and Evy (4) of Raleigh head out for the day with their good friend Beau Beau.
Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun in the Triangle at carolinaparent.com/facesandplaces.
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SEPTEMBER 2018 | carolinaparent.com