Senior Living

Sometimes, the holidays no longer seem very jolly as we age, and we don’t feel like celebrating much anymore. What used to be a joyous occasion can change and take on new meanings as life throws us curve balls.

We think we’re supposed to be exceptionally happy this time of year, but that expectation alone can cause people of all ages to become sad or depressed. Older adults and caregivers are especially susceptible to the holiday blues.

While the holidays may not be the same as in the past, there can still be plenty of reasons to celebrate. One of the most important things to remember is that it’s okay to enjoy the holidays as they are now. Old memories hold a special place in your heart, but there is always enough room to add new ones.

Knowing what exactly is triggering these gloomy feelings during the winter season can help you find ways to cope and feel better.

Dealing with Death During Holidays

One of the biggest challenges for families is losing a loved one. Whether the loss is recent or occurred a decade ago, this time of year often highlights absences and brings intense feelings of grief, loneliness, and emptiness. It can be stressful when family and friends purposely don’t mention your loved one’s name to avoid upsetting you. These feelings are normal, but to help you get through these tough times, consider the following ideas and choose what feels right for you: • Place the person’s picture in a place of prominence during the holidays. • Light a memorial candle. • Make a photo album of previous holidays together to focus on positive memories. • Set aside time so that everyone who wants to can share a memory or funny story about your loved one. • Go to church. • Volunteer to help those in need. •

Remember that not everyone grieves in the same way. There is no accepted norm.

Stress Over Too Much to Do

Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than having too much on your plate. To keep from feeling overwhelmed and out of control, try these suggestions: • Focus on what you and your loved ones need instead of what others expect of you. • Be realistic. • Accept help when others offer it and ask for help when you need it.

It makes other people feel good to help those for whom they care. • Prioritize and downsize holiday tasks. Decide which decorations are most important to you and compromise. Cook two or three favorite dishes instead of six or seven.

Make lists • It often helps to see what you need to do, and it gives you a sense of accomplishment when you cross off completed tasks.

Financial Pressure During Holidays

Finances are another notorious source of stress during the holidays, and money is often tight for everyone, especially seniors.

Spending intends to increase this time of year; here are a few suggestions for coping with financial worries: • Set a budget and stick to it when it comes to planning celebrations and purchasing gifts. • Remind your loved ones that less expensive gifts can be just as thoughtful and helpful as more expensive ones. • Make baked goods or create handcrafted gifts. • Encourage your family members to draw names for gifts. • Don’t wait until the last minute.

Avoiding Holiday Depression

There is no reason to wait until depression happens to act on it because we can take steps to help prevent and minimize the symptoms. Generally, what can help is not being too hard on yourself for the difficulty you may be experiencing. Try to: • Keep a regular schedule and building breaks. Adequate rest is crucial, especially during the hectic holiday season. • Avoid feeling guilty for picking and choosing which holiday gatherings you attend. • Make sure you get regular exercise. Unfortunately, it’s typical for people to stop doing the healthy things they usually do because of holiday activity and inclement weather. Make exercise a top priority.

Walk around in your house for 20 minutes if you have to. • Avoid overeating at every meal. Balancing indulgence with light, healthy meals will help you feel less lethargic and improve digestion.

Remember, the real meaning of the holidays is to be thankful for what you had, what you have now, and what the future will bring. Be honest and recognize that the holidays may not be the same as they once were. But remember you can enjoy the small moments now.