Rookie Mom: Reimagining Mother’s Day –A Call to Ask What Mothers Really Want

BY BRIGHID CONSTABLE

I really think it’s time to stray away from the traditional Mother’s Day events and actually ask what your mothers/wives really want.

If you’re like my now 70-something mother, whenever she would answer that question from my siblings, she’d reply: “A happy family.”

Although this might sound like a selfless reply, it was totally loaded with expectations.

So we went with the usual: breakfast in bed or a trendy brunch, hand cut flowers, homemade cards, and a “big” gift where my brothers and sisters could chip in to get her something really nice.

But I have a confession… Last year, my husband asked what I wanted for Mother’s Day, and I mimicked my mother’s response:

“A happy family.”

And you know what?

He accepted just that.

My daughter made a homemade card, we had a lovely brunch at Mike’s Big Breakfast, and that was my Mother’s Day.

Am I horrible to admit that I didn’t really like it? (I was 4+ months pregnant, so there was grumpiness to be sure.)

Lately, I’m noticing all of these trends on social media to normalize just giving mother’s a total day off for Mother’s Day – gifting her with a spa day and letting her be, or allowing the partner to take the kids out for the entire day and let her be.

That’s great, but I think we should normalize being unabashedly open about what WE – the mother – want from the day that celebrates when we first became a parent – a magical and monumental moment that should certainly be celebrated.

What does that look like for YOU?

For me– Instead of brunch, take me to that hole-in-the-wall Thai place in downtown Phoenix for lunch with the rave reviews from Phoenix New Times. Instead of flowers, get me a new succulent for the front door ceramic pot, so it’s forever inviting throughout our oh-so warm spring.

Keep the homemade card from the kids, but husband, you better get me one, too. No Dollar Store. You know I keep every card ever given to me.

Nevermind not getting me a gift this year. Yes, I want one. I popped another child out this past year, so heck yes, please do. (A Rebecca Minkoff purse, please. They have a Mother’s Day sale. Ask me for the code.)

One last request: Call As You Wish about 10 days before Mother’s Day. Sneak the kids out of the house to paint and decorate a picture frame with both Brynn and Henry’s handprints on it. Put this article’s picture in that frame.

And that’s it.

Am I high maintenance? Probably. But Happy Mother’s Day to me.

Brighid Constable is a Tempe, Arizona native with an RPG-loving husband, a wild daughter in kindergarten, a forever-smiling baby son, and a rescued cat and dog. When she’s not editing digital media, she is dancing to Sofi Tukker on a road trip up north or falling down the Mindy Kahling television rabbit hole. She has written for Hello Giggles, Scary Mommy, and Phoenix magazine, among others.