Tales from Shawangunk, Part 65

In college, Peg learned how not to handle romance

TALES of love FROM SHAWANGUNK Chapter 65 by Peggy Spencer Behrendt

In 1974, Tim and Peggy Spencer Behrendt set off on an adventure. They began a new life in the woods of Cold Brook, NY, without modern conveniences like electricity or indoor plumbing. These are excerpts and reflections from Peggy’s journal chronicling their adventures and also her childhood memories growing up in Westmoreland.

“Love is a Many Splendored Thing” was the title on the sheet music I often saw on the piano where I practiced my lessons as a youth. Beneath the title is a picture of Jennifer Jones and William Holden in a romantic embrace. Part of the lyrics seemed particularly poetic to me; “Once, on a high and windy hill, in the morning mist, two lovers kissed and the world stood still.” In my sophomore year of college (1967-68), I decided to see if there was any truth to these words. During meals at the school cafeteria, I’d made friends with some “Zippies” (the nickname for Music Majors). They were upperclassmen and lots of fun. One of them had a car, so we went out some times, to have pie a la mode, or pizza and beer at an Italian café, or drive to nearby villages and look around in second-hand stores. This was a real treat because stay ing on campus all the time got boring. One nice day, Bruce and I stopped at a scenic overlook to admire the abun dant vineyards around Fredonia, NY. A warm, gentle breeze brushed my cheeks and I felt very comfortable with my new friend. It was a high, windy hill, and there weren’t any mists, but I decided to see if the world would “stand still” if we kissed. Of course, I knew this was symbolic, but nothing happened, ex cept that he seemed pretty happy and suddenly as sumed that we were now “going together!” For me, it was just an experiment, not a commitment, and I couldn’t figure out a tactful way to explain that to him.

Sometime afterward, I discovered that I also liked one of his best friends, and subsequently, alienated both of them. I

Our wedding reception; sharing pizza. Tim in a sweater I made from his sheeps wool, me in a Guatemalan dress.

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t h i n k I was considered a fick le female, but I was just exploring this new world of romantic relationships. Tim once went to pick up his college girlfriend at the train station and saw her kiss another fellow goodbye before she came to kiss hello to Tim!

In 1972, I’d graduated from college and was testing my skills as a music teacher in a new community. I be gan to attend a local church. Choir rehearsal there was so much fun and so different from the Festival Chorus I was in at college earlier that year where over 300 pow erful, trained voices united in a celestial symphony of soul uplifting power. I loved it, but it required military discipline, whereas in this tiny church choir in the nar row organ loft of this 1816 edifice, giggling, teasing, FEBRUARY SAVINGS

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and goofing off seemed to be acceptable behavior. I couldn’t help but join in the playful atmosphere. I felt like a naughty kid even though I also felt sorry for our good-humored and patient young director, George.

After rehearsal, we strolled to a village tavern to hydrate our voices, creating quite a cacophony between the crunching and squeaking of our big boots on sub-zero, ice-crusted snow and our yells and laughter over snowballs tossed about.

Our minister Tim, (my future husband), joined us and was telling me about the athletic career he pursued before entering seminary; the college football scholarships, the wres tling, the swimming. I responded with stories of my successes in competitive gymnastics, swimming, and “almost” majoring in Phys. Ed. Then, for some inexplicable reason, I told him that I could wrestle, too, which was totally untrue.

Next thing I knew, I was wrestling in the freshly fallen snow with my church minister on a quiet village street and rolling together into a snowbank. Despite my lack of expertise, I was young, strong, and agile and gave him a decent challenge, but soon got pinned in a frigid pillow of snow. Pink cheeked, laughing, and somewhat sheepish, we got up and went on to the choir reception. But it was a harbinger of a very amicable relationship to come.

Just a few years after that, when I heard the thumping of wrestling

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Daughter Rebekah and husband, Gael Audic have a little romance on our trail

The imprint of bird wings in snow

Pulse LMR ad Rev 3.75x5_Layout 1 5/21/2014 1:36 PM Page 1 coming from my parent’s living room where one of my younger sisters and her boyfriend (also her future husband) were playfully sparring, I knew that something much more serious was up. Look out, if you get into a wrestling match with a Spencer girl! Of course, these things don’t always work out. While doing re search on FultonHistory.com, I ran across this article (I’ve abbreviated) about an application for divorce in the Syracuse Journal, September 27, 1915 “’DECLARED WIFE WAS TOO AFFECTIONATE’

‘I’ve had enough affection to last me for 25 years,” declared Frank Merz. ‘My wife wanted me to keep my eye on her all the time and I got tired of showing my love every second. Even when we went to the picture show, she insisted on my (putting) my arm around her. If I started to look at a pretty actress on the screen, she would make me turn and gaze at her.’ He does not contemplate returning to her…although he doesn’t appear to have any objection to her outside claim that she expects him to bubble over with affection all the time.”

In the early 1980s, Tim and I met a very affectionate couple from Rome, NY who were dating. She was a vivacious, bright, and pleasant member of our church, who was on the staff of my old high school. He was a suc cessful restaurant owner and chef. But she unexpectedly suffered a serious stroke and would probably need help the rest of her life. I joined Tim on a pastoral visit to her rest home. I knew she loved cats, but animals weren’t allowed in

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her facility. I decided to smuggle in my cute, new kitten, Sooty to cheer her. I put him into an ample willow picnic basket I’d recently made and casually strolled past the reception desk, hoping he wouldn’t meow. I must have looked a little guilty because a suspicious atten dant called out; “You don’t have a dog in there do you?” “No,” I honestly an swered, and skulked to her room. Phyllis was thrilled!

But, the next time we went to see her she wasn’t there! Her boyfriend, Paul, had taken her for what was supposed to be a little day outing, and they nev er returned. We got the whole, glorious, romantic story when we were invited to dinner at their home. He’d kidnapped her from the rest home; they’d gotten married, and were so happy together! She did require lots of care, but he’d recently sold his restaurant, retired, and could devote his time to her. They pre pared meals together; she maneuvering in her wheelchair, he fetching ingredi ents too high for her, and we joked about trying to find out the secret ingredient in her tomato sauce. Their meals were delicious, ample, and (amazingly for the time) vegetarian! Paul knew that we were struggling financially with family responsibilities and our land purchases for the preserve; consequently, he al ways sent us home with many leftovers and extra beverages, and once gave Tim a top quality pair of shoes that lasted him for years.

A few years later, Paul died quite un expectedly. Phyllis was devastated and helpless. A relative from very far away came in to manage things and she was taken to a rest home in an other state. She only lived for a few weeks after the re-location.

In 2000, Tim retired from the church he served for thirty years in Utica, and we be gan a new life as Senior Citizens. We bought an old 1977 Trillium Camper for $2,000 (12 ft. long), some folding rocking chairs and prepared to tow it in our 1990 4-cylinder Dodge Dakota Ram to Florida to camp out for a few winter months of balmy leisure. We felt we could afford this wonderful adventure, and were quite ex cited! I would make baskets to sell, and we could save money by sleeping in the camper along the way in stead of in motels. But after our first, long, tiring day of traveling through cold, winter weather on snowy roads, we pulled into a tiny campground after dark, and discov ered that the electric heat and lights in the camper didn’t work! We’d had no way to test them at home, having only 12-volt electricity. So we spent a miserable night huddled to gether on an icy cold mattress.

Further south, A white heron strolls by our camper

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the brakes suddenly felt like a sponge and we could only slowly come to a stop. It took a couple of days and several hundred dollars to get them repaired. A hubcap off the camper tire disappeared along the way, and the only way for the passenger to rest was to lie sideways on the seat, with the seat-belt holder jammed into their side. By the time we got to our campground, we were ex hausted, over-stimulated, and miserable. I seriously contemplated divorce!

But, Tim and I had made an agree ment during our first years of marriage to give each other two weeks’ notice if we wanted out of the relationship. After two weeks on our campsite, next to the Indian River which teems with exot ic wild birds and fishes of many kinds, decorating our lot with pots of pretty flowers from a local nursery, biking to the ocean for long naps and walks on the beach, playing in the abundant waves of the magnificent ocean, meeting nice new people and doing crafts with new friends, we recovered from the journey, and were friends again.

I’ve seen the same thing happen to

other couples who take that cross-conti nental trip; they look so tired and unhappy with each other during the first days after arrival, but restful, unstressful time in the sun soon heals their relationship. Now, we minimize this travel stress by storing our stuff there and flying instead. There are still problems and stresses, but it is less.

While we are gone, our Preserve is supervised by the next generations of Behrendt’s as we now have children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren living on our road. They maintain a nice public trail for snowshoeing or cross country skiing and we offer some win ter workshops such as: WINTER TREE MEDICINE WALK with Herbalist Lisa Fazio on February 1st at 10:30am when you can learn about some medicinal properties of our trees, bark, and nee dles. (email lisa@therootcircle.com to register) Or you may enjoy a WINTER WOODLAND NATURE WALK FOR CHILDREN (and adults) with Kimber ly Behrendt as your guide on March 7th at 10:30 (call 315-826-7685 to register). This is an opportunity to discover fun and games in a beautiful winter envi ronment while learning to appreciate its unique qualities and beauties.

We invite you to park at the end of Shawangunk Rd. and sign in at the Trail Head any time, to ski or walk in our Wondrous Woodsy Winter Wonder land. You may see our great-grandchildren making snow angels, or laughing with glee as they get towed on a sled by their mom and dad, Kim and Todd Beh rendt. You will likely see many tracks of wildlife: deer, rabbits, squirrels, mice, birds… and possibly lovers. •

The Shawangunk Nature Preserve is a deep ecology, forever wild, 501©(3), learn - ing and cultural center. Tim and Peggy still live there and can be contacted through their website. www.shawangunknaturepreserve.com