Stop Being the Nice Guy: How Barbers Can Overcome People-Pleasing to Boost Their Business

By Carlo Chincarini

As a barber, you’re not just cutting hair—you’re building a brand, serving clients, and running a business. But there’s a hidden obstacle that’s quietly killing your success, and it’s not the economy, algorithms, or marketing. It’s something 98% of business owners, including barbers, struggle with: peoplepleasing, or what I call Nice Person Syndrome.

This debilitating habit keeps you stuck, undercharging, overworking, and frustrated, preventing you from growing your shop and making the money you deserve. As a business coach who’s worked with elite athletes, CEOs, and service providers like you, I’ve seen how this syndrome sabotages success—and I’ve lived it myself. Here’s how to break free, take charge, and become the confident, profitable barber you’re meant to be.

The Nice Person Syndrome: Why It’s Holding You Back

You got into barbering because you love the craft. Maybe you started cutting hair in a garage, and now you’ve got your own shop, a team, and a loyal clientele. You pride yourself on being a good person—someone who delivers killer fades, builds trust, and keeps clients happy. But there’s a difference between being a good human and being a “nice guy” in business.

Nice Person Syndrome is rooted in a myth: if you’re endlessly giving, accommodating, and likable, clients will love you, your needs will be met, and your business will thrive. Sounds great, right? Too bad it’s a lie. When you prioritize pleasing others over your own goals, you end up frustrated, underpaid, and burned out. You might undercharge for a premium cut to keep a client happy, let latecomers disrupt your schedule, or avoid raising prices because you’re scared, they’ll walk away. This isn’t kindness—it’s a trap that devalues your skills and shrinks your bank account.

The Root of the Problem: Toxic Shame

To understand why Nice Person Syndrome is so damaging, let’s get real for a moment. As kids, we’re born helpless, relying on others to meet our needs. When those needs aren’t fully met—through no one’s fault but just the messiness of life—we internalize a fear of abandonment. We start believing that if we’re not “good enough,” people will leave us. Worse, we develop toxic shame—a deep-seated belief that there’s something wrong with us, that we’re not okay as we are. So, we try to fix it by becoming who we think others want us to be.

In your barber shop, this shows up as saying yes to every client request, avoiding conflict, or staying quiet when your team slacks off. You’re not just cutting hair—you’re tiptoeing through life, seeking approval to avoid that old fear of being “not enough.” But here’s the truth: trying harder to be nice only deepens the frustration, damages your relationships, and keeps your business stuck.

Breaking Free: Becoming the Integrated King

The opposite of Nice Person Syndrome isn’t being a jerk—it’s becoming what I call the Integrated King. This is the version of you that leads with purpose, confidence, and vision, unapologetically owning your worth. Here’s how to make the shift and grow your barber business:

1. Set Rock-Solid Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t mean—they’re a sign of self-respect. Create clear shop policies, like a 24-hour cancellation fee or fixed hours. If a client begs for a last-minute slot, say, “I’m booked today, but I’ve got you tomorrow at 3 PM.” Post these rules on your booking site or in your shop. When you enforce boundaries, clients respect you more, and you reclaim your time.

2. Charge What You’re Worth

Stop undercharging to be liked. Research local rates—if the average fade is $30 but your skills are top-tier, charge $40. Raise prices gradually (10-15%) and give clients a heads-up: “To keep delivering the best cuts, prices are going up next month. Thanks for your support!” Offer premium services, like a $60 VIP package with a cut, shave, and scalp massage, to boost revenue without overworking.

3. Communicate with Confidence

Speak up without fear. If a client’s always late, try, “I love having you in my chair, but starting on time helps me keep the day smooth.” Upsell naturally: “This styling gel will keep that fade sharp—want to try it?” Ask for referrals: “If you’re stoked with the cut, tell your friends—I’m taking new clients!” Clear communication builds respect and grows your business.

4. Invest in Your Growth

Say yes to yourself. Take courses to master new techniques, like textured crops or beard sculpting. Market your work on Instagram or TikTok with before-and-after videos— a 15-second reel of a flawless fade can draw in high-paying clients. Upgrade your shop’s vibe with better lighting or fresh decor to justify premium prices. Growth isn’t selfish—it’s how you build a brand clients trust.

5. Build a Support System

You don’t have to do this alone. Connect with other barbers in local or online communities to share tips and challenges. Consider a business coach to keep you accountable. Celebrate every win—whether it’s enforcing a boundary or landing a new client—to build momentum.

The Payoff: More Money, More Freedom

Kicking Nice Person Syndrome to the curb doesn’t mean losing your heart—it means stepping into your power. By setting boundaries, charging your worth, communicating boldly, investing in growth, and surrounding yourself with support, you’ll make more money, attract better clients, and run your shop on your terms. You’ll trade frustration for fulfillment and build a business that reflects the skilled, confident barber you are.

Your time is now. Stop seeking approval and start leading as the Integrated King. Your clients, your team, and your bank account will thank you.

Carlo Chincarini is globally renowned as “The Kingmaker.” Founder of The Kingmaker, Carlo and his team help business owners and elite athletes worldwide transform from people-pleasers into confident leaders who win in life, business, and love. Connect with Carlo on Instagram @thekingmakercoaching or via email at carlo@thekingmaker.com.au.