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Taking offence Pt 1 All rights reserved. Copyright © 2014, MOAMFJ.

When incidents of concern occur, there are 2 responses we can take: 1. Use the incident to create a stumbling block that hinders our journey 2. Use the opportunity as a steep learning curve There are 3 ways to handle offences: 1. Take it with your everywhere you go 2. Throw it back at the sender 3. Examine it, put it in proper perspective, learn from it, deal with the issues, lay it to rest (this is God’s way of operating) The Holy Spirit reveals that offences will come (Luke 7:33; John 6;60,66; Matthew 18:7). There is therefore merit in formulating a personal plan of action to deal with one’s backlog of offences as well as to prepare to effectively handle those that are coming.

Learning objective: This study aims to bring clarity and understanding to a tricky topic.

This study should also assist us in formulating a plan of action to handle offences God’s way.

We feel resentment when we believe we have been: 1. Unfairly treated

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Misunderstood Falsely judged Wrongly accused Taken for granted

Resentment is rooted in the belief that our worth has been devalued in the eyes of others. Our sense of worth is partially determined by the perceptions others hold of us. If we believe that our worth in someone else’s eyes is devalued, we may experience resentment. When an accusation comes don’t take up resentment. Instead use the incident as an opportunity to objectively review: 1.

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Your performance The series of events The context of the events Personal motives Procedures that may need modification, altering or changing.

Don’t make the issue personal to yourself or the accuser. Instead, using your sound mind, correctly identify the issues i.e. injustice, inequality, poor communication, inaccurate information, bias, unclear guidelines, problematic procedures, poor timetabling etc. The issues will not go away if we take up resentment. No! The issues will remain even as our negative approach compounds the situation. Compounding is an excellent financial strategy when applied to interest rates in a saving account, but a poor strategy when applied to problems. So don’t compound the issues, instead isolate them study them then deal with them fairly.

Scripture teaches that we are responsible for our body, soul and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). It also makes us responsible for our choices and how we live on Earth (Philippians 1:10; 1 Peter 4:5). By extension, we should aim to not be a source of offence for others (1 Corinthians 10:32; 2 Corinthians 6:3). Instead our actions and handling of situations should commend us to others (2 Corinthians 6:3-10). This takes a conscious, deliberate act of will power to override our natural tendencies when incidents arise.

Smooth sailing is not a continuous state of affairs. Choppy, turbulent waters will crop up from time to time. Experienced seafaring captains are trained to handle incidents and emergencies. So too we ought to train ourselves and discipline self in order to effectively master and overcome the incidents and emergencies of life.

Mastery must be exercised in the area of the:

1. Tongue James 3:4-12; Ephesians 4:15,29; James 1:26,27; Titus 2:8; 2 Timothy 1:13; When bridled and tamed, Christ’s followers are enabled to speak graciously so that sound words give life and benefit to the listeners. In this way we imitate God who on Creation day spoke words that gave life.

2. Heart Luke 6:43-45; The source of venom and poison for the tongue is the heart contained in the old, sinful, carnal nature. Those in Christ possess an additional nature (i.e. the new man) (2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:9,10). This nature is just like God’s nature (2 Peter 1:3,4). Restraint and mastery over the old heart is necessary to win the battle with one’s tongue.

3. Mind 2 Timothy 1:7; As part of our inner being the mind receives understanding. Without balanced doctrine (Bible teaching) our thinking will be skewed. Without balanced thoughts and thought processes our decision making will be flawed. Without sound decision making our choices would be poor resulting in a life of drama, intrigue, stress and frustration. The mind is the gateway to a happy, rewarding and successful life. Failure to root out ungodly thoughts, imaginations and high things from our minds reduces the likelihood of a successful life (2 Corinthians 10:4-6).

4. Prayer life 1 Timothy 2:1-3; Mastering one’s prayer life is key to taking a proactive approach to life. Praying about difficult situations and potentially difficult interactions before incidents occur is the proactive approach of wise people. Failure to bring difficult issues under Christ’s control only propagates stress (Philippians 3:21).

Summary statement: When we make God’s ways and His word the focus of our lives we reduce the tendency to let people and their ways matter (Psalm 119). When people, their way and what they say becomes the primary focus of our being we are likely to dwell with negativity. People change, their words change and so do their actions. God and His word is unchanging (1 Peter 1:23-25). People unpredictably change their position as circumstances and conditions change. God remains steady and steadfast regardless of the prevailing circumstances. When we develop the perspective of not taking offences personally but consistently working through the underlying issues, we avoid the stalemates of resentment and bitterness.