A parent’s view

Big move is steep learning curve for the parents too!

Colette Clark, whose son Jenson has just finished his first year at secondary school, gives her view on the move to big school

My son Jenson is 12 and an only child, so I found it hard to come to terms with how quickly my son has grown up and how his primary school years seem to have just flown by.

If I could take a step back in time I certainly would and really relish those younger years, although with working full time it is difficult to juggle everything.

I already had a friend whose son had joined secondary school the year before, and she was definitely my ‘go-to’ on the right and wrong things to do when preparing Jenson for the transition to ‘big school’, even down to what colour bag that most of the boys had and that they weren’t allowed velcro shoes!

After finding this advice really useful, a group of us who have children at Jenson’s school, recently set up a Facebook group for parents and prospective parents so that they don’t find themselves in the same situation and they can ask questions about the new school year ahead. This is also a great way of parents making friends and keeping in touch too.

Starting secondary school is not just a steep learning curve for children! Before Jenson started there were lots of things I wished I’d known.

One thing was how expensive things can be, from school trips to school lunches – which can be anything up to £5 a day. He needed lots more equipment, not to mention the uniform, and with having to buy a new pair of shoes pretty much every term, because he loves football and plays at breaktimes, the costs soon mount up.

The main thing I have discovered during Jenson’s first year is how independent school expected him to become in such a short space of time. Although this is good thing in the long run, you still see them as your baby and it can be hard to come to terms with.

Another thing is how they need to manage their time better too, so that they dedicate enough time each week to their homework.

During this first year, Jenson has changed massively as a person. Not only has he grown, but he has become so much more independent. He can now hold an adult conversation and knows how to get from A to B if his dad and I can’t be around after school. He is also now holding conversations with us on what he wants to do when leaving school and is already looking at options for when that time comes. Primary school is definitely run differently from secondary school. The school Jenson attends has a parent login that you can access daily, so you can see the daily/weekly timetable, if they are in lessons, their attendance and behaviour and, more importantly, the homework that is set, so you can keep track.

One vital piece of advice I would give to parents is to do your homework before making your choices for secondary school to ensure that the school fits with your child’s needs and expectations.

If they are sporty, does the school offer enough opportunities to allow them to take part in the things that they enjoy? Learning is massively important obviously, but they also need to enjoy other activities too.

Jenson thoroughly enjoyed primary school and so when he first stepped through the ‘big school’ doors, it was a whole new world. With him not having the easiest of transitions, due to Covid, he found it hard at first.

This was due to the expectations on him and how big the school is compared to primary with lots more pupils and from different areas.

However, he has made so many new friends – ones that have similar interests as him such as football, but also discovering that he enjoys other things too such as cooking, cross country – the list is endless.