Selves - Digital Booklet

Lonelyhaiku

CRASH—and

my hand’s broken in the sand But I stand up and extend my eyes to The horizon and watch the crows explode

One hundred and nine degrees…

Such abrupt a turn In this reverse I fail to see the benefit And though I may walk in circles I know this much at least:

You cannot suppress a notion You cannot oppress an ocean And you cannot repress me

Marta Andelson: Vocals, flutes Justin Carter: Electric guitar Tom Earnest: Electric bass Leah Meyer: Violin Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, pianos, electric guitar Sami Rebein: Violin

Vincent Kelley: Drums Karin Stein: Charango

Julia Marquez-Uppman: Cello Jacob Ziontz: Viola

i

ii

Still Home?

Polyrhythmic crickets went silent when I passed by so I’ll mind my step Unaccustomed to the sound of quiet since you passed on You left your step I can’t find your step But are you still home?

I thought I saw purple glints in your hair that weren’t there But how could I know?

I’d just like to see if it’s time for your petals to unfold Looking through some photographs you left behind I have tried to find the rest Polyrhythmic crickets await your sound if you’re found Just mind your step, just mind your step But now that I’m home I couldn’t leave if I tried ‘Cause I’m still home, I’ll wait awhile till it’s time to tell what’s been untold: When I was with you I glowed like the dark air just before the headlights crest

Jacob Cohn: Vocals, guitar, banjo

Tom Earnest: Upright bass

Leah Meyer: Vocals, fiddle

Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, pianos

Sun Scream Don’t let go Don’t let go of me I will try to release you

I took a walk along the power lines slicked with sunshine and watched the kids gape at their screaming suns for they couldn’t wait till dark to start the sparks but neither can you And you’ve got pocketfuls of particles but I’ve got none so rest your head on someone else’s knee and do it quickly ‘cause I’m not ready for you I can’t be ready for you and you’re not ready for me

Which leaves me: the longest light who teases the shortest night it precedes And you: the butterfly between sole and sun-soaked concrete

Your son is screaming in the living room Won’t you tend to him?

Don’t pretend you don’t hear him call Hear him crying from behind these paper walls I know it’s hard I know it’s so hard I know you’ve been barred and that I’ve scarred you Tom Earnest: Electric bass

Katie In: Vocals

Drew Johnson: Drums

Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, pianos, vibraphone, mandolins, Nord keyboard

iii

iv

The Central Spine

Caleb Neubauer: Piano, bowed mandolin, singing bowls

June Apathy

v

On the steel and in the stones brushing fingers ‘gainst your wrist Swinging legs and thick shadows your choreographies condense

Pencils snap and ivories cut my fingers as they perch The paper’s blank, a lack of ink won’t let a melody emerge

And your forehead’s numbing from the fracture of a thought as the transatlantic bridges cool and fall apart

The sun is hidden while our faces lose their glow And the notes will fade in approaching monochrome

You don’t know how this all came to be but it feels so far from ordinary

And how did all of this even come to be? ‘cause it feels so far from ordinary

‘Cause you are not immune to an apathetic June And while it’s not opportune it’s an apathetic June

But I am not immune to an apathetic June Few of us are immune to an apathetic June

‘Cause you are not immune to this apathetic June So few of us are immune to an apathetic June

Yeah we are not immune to this apathetic June So we will wait and see if July brings something new

Ethan Kenvarg: Electric guitars, drums

Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, Rhodes keyboard, pianos, shaker

vi

Look Within Sometime

Michael Maiorana: Sympathetic piano vibrations

Ian Neubauer: Acoustic bass

Laurel Tuggle: Harp

Monday Storms The chokecherry keeps reminding me that we’re nearing the end of this season And you may trim the violet clean but August simply cannot be outrun Mahogany blushes as it’s soaked with rain A deepening stain The house, encased, surveys the afternoon In exile, I found fields were best viewed from the fraying edges of the setting sun The driftwood there, atop the stool— it found its place, no need to resume floating in the sea Soon we will anchor just the same We’ll wash ashore as ancient remains of coastal trees Monday storms wet our eyes but fail to wear down tangible time Monday storms compromise but who would let them break our ties?

You or I? Tom Earnest: Electric basses

Vadim Fainberg: Electric guitars

Drew Johnson: Drums

Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, piano, accordions, celesta

vii

viii

Don’t Let Your Gaze Leave Mine Don’t let your eyes leave mine, dear Don’t let your gaze leave mine, dear Don’t let your hands leave mine, dear Don’t let your grip leave mine, dear Don’t let your heart leave mine, dear Don’t let your love leave mine, dear

Tom Earnest: Electric bass

Drew Johnson: Drums

Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, marimbas, drum programming

Voice/Breaths Your voice is not how I expected, how I expected But until now, I hadn’t heard it, I’d never heard it So I will listen, I will notice how we become accustomed to each other’s timbre While you fumble off, you fumble off the field Your voice is not how I expected, not how I’d left it You tell me that you haven’t chosen, you didn’t decide yet But if you’d calm down, we could make waves Yeah if you’d just come ‘round, I could take you to a new place But you crumple up, you crumple up in fear But you crumble in, you crumble in your fear So I stumble out, I stumble out of here Yeah I stumble out, I stumble out of here and I let you breathe in and out Till you turn to me, and swallow up your fear and we tumble off, we tumble off the pier

Tom Earnest: Electric bass Vadim Fainberg: Electric guitar Katie In: Vocals, acoustic guitar Vincent Kelley: Drums, cymbals Andy Keyes: Alto saxophone Caleb Neubauer: Vocals, pianos Luke Panciera: Trumpets Arthur Richardson: Trombones

ix

mmxiv

Selves All songs written and produced by Caleb Neubauer.

String quartet arrangements on 1 by Caleb Neubauer. Brass quintet arrangements on 9 by Erik Jarvis.

Additional collaborative arrangements by Marta Andelson on 1; Justin Carter on 1; Jacob Cohn on 2; Tom Earnest on 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, and 9; Vadim Fainberg on 7 and 9; Katie In on 3 and 9; Drew Johnson on 3, 7, and 8; Vincent Kelley on 1 and 9; Ethan Kenvarg on 5; Michael Maiorana on 6; Leah Meyer on 2; Ian Neubauer on 6; Karin Stein on 1; Laurel Tuggle on 6; and Yang West and Chloe Yates on 8.

Recorded at Ooraloo Studios (drifting) in Grinnell, IA, and Bend, OR. Additional recording took place at Yorick Studio in Omaha, NE, by Justin Carter and Erik Jarvis; in Bozeman, MT; and remotely from Chicago, IL, by Katie In and Ethan Kenvarg.

Mixed by Caleb Neubauer at Yorick Studio in Omaha, NE. Mastered by Jake Munson Sound in Seattle, WA. Illuminated monotypes and artwork design by Caleb Neubauer.

Selves by Misty Aeons is licensed under a Creative Commons

Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License (2014). mistyaeons.com

Caleb Neubauer would like to thank: all of the musicians who worked on this album, for it would not have been possible without your willingness, and would not be what it is without your talents; Grinnell College, Freesound, and Faulconer Gallery for your community and resources; Jon Edwards, for generous use of your attic studio; Paul Nelson, for your immense trust and help in Bucksbaum; John Rommereim, for lending a key to the Electronic Music Studio; Stacey Bostwick and China Mauck, for your support in recording the marimba overnight; Tony Perman and Roger Vetter, for permitting the string quartet to record in the World Music Room; the “Andelstein” family, for your studio use and unceasing encouragement and teaching; Justin Carter and Erik Jarvis, for your valuable input, encouragement, and kindness at Yorick; Pooj Padmaraj, Moira Donovan, and Daniel Agostino, for making Look Within Sometime possible, and its consequent samples; Andy Keyes, for holding down the Rhodes and providing last-minute sax; Christopher Barbey, Andy Delany, Kathryn In, “Snuggles” Kenvarg, and Ana Novak, for always listening and asking questions; Colin Brooks, for your faithful photography and coding excellence; my friends, for your inspiration and love; Jana Hyder, for starting me on piano long ago; Jack Kerouac, for concocting the phrase “misty aeons” in Big Sur, and Mackenzie Martin, for helping me choose it as a moniker; finally, my family, for your unyielding support.