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T.C.D.

Volume 120 | issue Three | February 2013

Volume 120, issue 3

Contents

Miscellany’s Predictions for 2013 A host of projections for the year ahead

Adrift On an Ocean Susan Clandillon discusses the famous coming-out of hip-hop artist Frank Ocean and its impact

‘Girls’ Review A review of the rise and rise of hit TV series ‘Girls’

10 Sex Sells Uncovering the truth about the continued practice of prostitution in Ireland 12 Truth Behind the Bile Hatred of George W. Bush is letting Barack Obama off the hook and obscuring the debate about Iraq 16 Snapped Boards and Spray Paint Our Editor Clare Burnett talks to a talented artist from her home county about living and loving art 20 A Hollywood Ideology William Foley discusses the role of violence in film 24 Civil Disobedience in Israel Claire Payne discusses the non-violent protests in social media that advocate equality in Israel 26 Nutra-Scam Katie Varvos investigates a trans-atlantic weight loss scam that is exploiting peoples’ deepest fears 28 Get on with the Golf Gavin McLoughlin on Rory Mc Ilroy and how the important things in life are ruined by nationalism 30 The Art of the One Night Stand How to deal with the morning after the night before

T.C.D. Miscellany is a full participating member of the Press Council of Ireland and supports the Office of the Press Ombudsman. This scheme, in addition to defending the freedom of the press, offers readers a quick, fair and free method of dealing with complaints that they may have in relation to articles that appear on our pages. To contact the Office of the Press Ombudsman go to www.pressombudsman.ie.

t’s that time of year again, when you realise you have completely wasted the first term, the new year has become depressing as the joys of Christmas are over, and you’ve realised you’ve put on 10 pounds in turkey and leftover Christmas chocolate. We also have the SU Elections to look forward to - my advice would be, if you can’t avoid going into college during this week, to keep pepper spray on your person at all times and avoid direct eye contact. The SU after all is a defunct and obsolete institution, which should be replaced by something more useful, like a soggy paper bag or a chocolate teapot. We shouldn’t have to be subjected to their over-enthusiasm. Added to the frankly ridiculous and incomprehensible ‘preferendum’ on abortion, a weak attempt at some kind of political relevance, the SU are not our favourite bunch of hacks right now. Soapboxing aside, the inauguration of President Barack Obama for his second term in office has led our own Assistant Editor to consider the truth behind the hypocrisies of Barack Obama, Denise Wilkinson reviews the hit show ‘Girls’ and I talk to a Yorkshire-born artist about his life and work. We hope you enjoy this one, and manage to escape SU hackery for another year!

a letter from the editor... Editor: Clare Burnett Assistant Editors: Gavin McLoughlin, Denise Wilkinson Staff Photographer/Creative Director: Atalanta Copeman-Papas Business Manager: Laura Healy Assistant Copy Editor: Lola Boorman Online Editor: Katie Varvos

T.C.D. Miscellany 6 Trinity College Dublin 2 www.miscellany.ie tcdmiscellany@gmail. com Printed by Grehan Printers, 12 Brunswick House, Dublin 2

Lance Armstrong admits that yes, he is still lying to us. Not only did he dope during his comeback from 2009-2011, but he is not even a human being. He is in fact a great malignant alien sent from the Planet Zarg to work out just how easy it is to manipulate human beings into believing heartwarming cancer recovery stories. Pretty easy as it turns out. He peels off his human-shaped body suit to reveal that he is composed of little more than slime and is then beamed back on to the mother ship and never seen or heard from again.

Giovanni Trapattoni is sacked as Ireland football manager after the team are battered 5-0 by the Faroe Islands at the Aviva Stadium. His replacement is Roy Keane, who takes the job on condition that FAI Chief Executive John Delaney becomes his personal slave. Keane spends the entirety of his introductory press conference walking Delaney around the room on a dog lead, yelling “BARK LITTLE DOGGIE!” and “ACCUSE ME OF FAKING INJURY WILL YOU?” Inspired by terror, the team goes on to qualify for the World Cup. Bono tries to resolve the IsraelPalestine crisis by organising a massive rock concert in the middle of Jerusalem. It works. Israelis and Palestinians are finally united in their revulsion at his crotchhugging leather trousers, blatant hair-transplant and general egomania.

This June, Dublin’s largest ever snow fall will ensure that college will be closed for no less than four days and no more than six - possibly five... although its hard to say.

Babyfaced Kim Jong-Un has already been voted The Onion’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ and we predict that he will achieve greater heights of sexiness this year. Possible future titles include ‘Mr Universe’, ‘Most Attractive Dictator of an East Asian Totalitarian Regime’ and ‘Best Leader of a Personality Cult 2013’. That’s if he doesn’t embroil us in a worldwide nuclear war first.

Miscellany:

Predictions for 2013 Our Editorial Team discuss their frankly questionable predictions for 2013: the year we never thought we’d live to see.

Barack Obama appoints Bill Clinton the new US ambassador to Ireland. Within 6 months, and without anyone really knowing how it happened, Clinton is Taoiseach. Middle –aged women the length and breadth of the country are driven mad with lust, their hearts racing at the sound of that velvet Arkansas drawl.

The demon spawn of newlywed couple Chad Kroeger of Nickelback and ‘Sk8r Boi’ songstress Avril Lavigne is born, precipitating the rise of Satan, who claims dominion over the Earth. The entire human race is enslaved and forced to carry out back-breaking manual toil 24 hours a day. Far worse, though, is the torture of our eardrums with Kroeger and Lavigne’s grotesque music, which is now blasted out of the sky in an endless loop.

There will be another Icelandic ash cloud, but because of recent European Court rulings, Ryanair will fly double the amount of scheduled flights across Europe including a special new destination to Reykjavík, Iceland’s capital.

The British Authorities finally succeed in obtaining the Boston University research tapes that implicate Gerry Adams in IRA activity. Everyone is delighted as he is finally brought to justice. Except for Enda Kenny, who no longer has a shield behind which to hide when he is asked difficult questions about the economy by Sinn Fein.

Adrift on an

Ocean by susan clandillon

This week’s announcement of Frank Ocean’s nomination in the outstanding music artist category of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance against Defamation media awards may come as no surprise for avid fans of the smooth, spontaneous, and melodic mastermind, whose open attitude towards his sexuality within a decidely homophobic musical sphere has been both refreshing and inspiring for many. Ocean, through the medium of his tumblr account on the 4th July, openly referred to a relationship he had had four years previously with another man, speaking of the memory fondly, in a somewhat nostalgic and wistful manner. “Four summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent the summer and the summer after together. Every day almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence. until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realised I was in love, it was malignant” It seems as if those spontaneous, glowing and upbeat elements of Channel Orange – his debut studio album- have been derived from this relationship, and to an extent it has reinforced both his character and the

“It seems as if those spontaneous, glowing and upbeat elements of Channel Orange - his debut studio album - have been derived from this relationship” character of his work. Blissful, sunny, bouncy yet clashing and somewhat confused, it is a sound with multiple emotive layers of considerable complexity. The theme of unrequited love, 6

the idea that you might not realise what the good times were ‘til they’re gone, and a concern that you might blink and miss something; these are all the concerns of a young adult trying forge their own path.

Ocean’s path, his story, has been one of trials and tribulations. Following Hurricane Katrina, the studio which he had spent years saving for through working multiple odd jobs, was flooded and looted. A significant obstacle, and a strong deterrent for those of weaker character or lesser ambition. Ocean took this in his stride however, moving to Los Angeles to follow his dream, where he began to write songs for established artists such as Brandy, Justin Bieber and John Legend. Good things come to those who wait, and for his patience and perseverance he was rewarded. With the release of his EP Nostalgia, Ultra, and his collaboration with the Los Angeles-based hip hop collective OFWGKTA, he was soon working with industry giants Kanye West and Jay-Z on Watch the Throne. Commercial success came with the release of Channel Orange, and his appearance on the US chat show Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. A testament to his hard work, and his dogmatic drive, Channel Orange made the number one slot in a multitude of best album of 2012 lists. To

name but a few: Billboard, Chicago Sun-Times, Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, The Guardian, Los Angeles Times, The Sydney Morning Herald, Slant Magazine, Spin, The Washington Post, and The New York Times. Ocean’s GLAAD nomination, serves to reward his diligence. It serves to reward his courage, and it serves to reward his talent. Ocean has come out as bisexual, in an environment where to be anything but heterosexual is hardly discussed, often concealed, and rarely tolerated. Through exposing his sexuality via such a public forum, he has gained many supporters, not least of all Jay-Z and President Obama. Has the support that Ocean has achieved come from a more accepting and open-minded America? Is this indicative of changing attitudes towards the LGBT community, and an appreciation of difference? Right

“[The hip hop scene is] an environment where to be anything but heterosexual is hardly discussed, often concealed and rarely tolerated” now, that’s difficult to gauge, but what we must take from Ocean’s story is a belief in self-determination: evidence that being your own person and staying true to yourself is something that others will admire in you and will revere you for. Actions speak louder than words, and more public gestures like Ocean’s will go a long way towards changing attitudes and public perceptions of sexuality. Times are changing, and those who refuse to accept it will be left high and dry, as the tide of public opinion, supports the Oceans of this era. Susan Clandillon is a Senior Sophister Student of European Studies

denise Wilkinson discusses the HBo phenomenon that is ‘Girls’, a new and improved ‘sex in the city’ - carrie eat your heart out “The magic happens outside of your comfort zone”. This is how Lena Dunham decides to open the third episode of the second season of HBO’s “most lauded, cutting-edge show”: Girls, which she directs, produces and stars in. Young, quirky, egocentric, incoherent, occasionally inarticulate… not to mention slightly fat: Lena Dunham gives us the anti-heroine, Hannah Horvath, played by no other than herself. An English Literature graduate and aspiring writer looking to make a name for herself in hipster New York, Hannah encapsulates what it means to be a young, twenty-something middle-class girl setting forth in the world, and struggling, as she puts it, between “complete self confidence and no self worth”. Inspired by the likes of Woody Allen, Nora Ephron and HBO’s Sex and the City, Lena Dunham’s Girls is exceptionally fresh and refreshing. While many shows which attempted to portray the lives, adventures and shortcomings of young women in big cities have been made, Girls goes further and deeper. On its conception Dunham comments, “Its closely based on my own experience of getting out of college and not having a sense of whether I would ever get to do the thing I wanted to do [write and direct] and I was really miserable”.

“Young, quirky, egocentric, incoherent, ... lena dunham gives us the anti-heroine”

in the spotlight 8

“I don’t’ want to freak you out, but I think I may be the voice of my generation. Or at least, a voice, of a generation” She captures this from the very beginning of Season 1, where the pilot opens with Hannah sitting in a restaurant with her parents, who declare that they will no longer support her, or her “groovy life-style” financially, as it is time for her to make it on her own. Hannah later predicts that she can survive in New York for three and a half days, “maybe seven… if I don’t eat lunch”. Yet the true magic behind Girls is its brutal honesty. Many a viewer has exclaimed in awe mingled with embarrassment: this is my life! Stated clearly, this is a show with no filters, no rose-tinted glasses and no artificial glam, where flab is never hidden, sex is real and often awkward, and dialogue has none of the smooth, rehearsed quality one might find in say Gossip Girl or The O.C. A memorable example of this is Shoshanna’s: ‘I’m like the least virginy virgin ever.’ Or her take on Jessa’s transparent net dress: “OK, so you look, like, totally gorgeous...

as always... um, and very current. But I’m just wondering if it’s maybe, like, a little bit threatening... for babysitting...” Season 2 sees Lena starring in the third episode virtually topless and high on coke, roaming aimlessly with her now gay ex-boyfriend with the sole intent of gaining material for a freelance article.

“I’m like the least virginy virgin ever.” The other three main characters include Marnie Michaels, a seemingly serious, prim and proper city girl, working throughout Season 1 as a gallery assistant. Marnie is Hannah’s flatmate and best friend, and the only girl in the group to have a steady boyfriend throughout the first season. However, despite his love for her, she has come to see him as a “creepy uncle”. Shoshanna Shapiro is an innocent, ditzy college student from NYU who

hasn’t lost her virginity yet, she calls this her “biggest baggage”. Then we get to Jessa. Shoshanna’s somewhat stereotyped, British bohemian hipster cousin who likes to dispense surprisingly insightful pearls of wisdom such as: “All that matters are that your rising signs are compatible, the sex is decent and he supports you creatively”. The male characters are initially on the one-dimensional side, but as the series progresses they too acquire that uncannily realistic quality that defines the Girls cast. While Girls is most definitely a show about girls, its daring and often crude portrayal of human nature and the young modern life makes it a show worthy of a wider audience. So for those of you who are not really the type to watch a show about girls, bear in mind that the ‘magic’ might just happen outside of your comfort zone… Written and illustrated by Assistant Editor Denise Wilkinson

Sex Sells by Katie Varvos

Think prostitution and you might envision nightwalkers strutting down Leeson Street in the wee hours of the morning, wearing leather thigh-high boots and skimpy miniskirts. The famous cut out dress and long legs of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman spring to mind; raking in mad moolah and living the party life style with her trendy flatmate, who also happens to be a prostitute. While this rom-com classic adequately passes an hour and a half, it did nothing for prostitution but glorify it. And unfortunately, for the vast majority of sex workers, there are no champagne or strawberries waiting at the end of the night and certainly no Richard Gere. 20 years ago, prostitution in Ireland looked drastically different. Most encounters happened in dark alleyways, street corners and the back seats of old Volvos. The clients mostly were old lonely men often thought of as social deviants. And the number of girls involved was 70 per cent lower. Today sex is sold from luxury apartments in Ballsbridge to tiny towns in Tipperary. It is possible to buy and sell sex from every square inch of the country. And the buyers are not social

outcasts: they are our fathers, sons, husbands and neighbours. Irish prostitution is rapidly becoming a multimillioneuro industry that is run with a modern and sophisticated business model. The sex industry is market-driven and has no shortage of demand. This has led to a fiery debate on reforming the legal system and convicting those who buy sex. So the multimillion-euro question still burns: should Ireland criminalise prostitution? Under Irish legislation, prostitution is not illegal provided the transaction takes place in a private setting and the person selling is not a victim. This minute there are over 700 sex workers throughout Ireland selling sex from behind closed doors, a practice which

“Under Irish legislation prostitution is not illegal providing the transaction takes place in a private setting and the person selling is not a victim” is technically legal. But while some women chose to sell sex for living, most are forced into it, making the seller a victim and the act technically illegal. These girls only see a slight fraction of the massive profits offered by the booming business. Organised criminals are at the heart of this industry, using sex for personal financial gain. Prostitution in Ireland is modern day slavery. One of the leading causes for the explosion in the sex industry has been

technology. It has never been easier to buy sex when it is just a call, text or click away. It is now so easy to buy sex, Ruhama’s CEO Sarah Benson told RTE, that “[I]t is like choosing a takeaway. Will I have Polish tonight, Thai tonight, or Chinese tonight?” The leading website in Ireland is escort-ireland.com, where over 700 women advertise their services. The website is run from England so it falls outside Irish jurisdiction, slipping through the legal system. Escort Ireland charges a hefty 100 euro per week, per girl, to advertise. This creates revenue of 70,000 euro a week for the website. This figure only highlights the growing demand in the industry. Over the course of a year, the website receives 55 million hits and a single week brings in an average of 350 calls and texts to each girl. With figures increasing for illicit encounters, some pro-prostitution groups argue that the demand will only increase illegal trafficking if Ireland clamps down. However, the proof lies in Sweden. After criminalising prostitution in 1999, a significant reduction in trafficking and prostitution was seen, as it was no longer an attractive destination for traffickers. It is estimated that the number of prostitutes in Sweden has dropped by 40 per cent between 1998 and 2003. The Nordic legislation prosecutes only the buyers of sex, something Irish groups like the Rape Crisis Centre, would like to mimic here. The only backlash to the Swedish reform was seen in Denmark. It has now been hit with fluctuating prostitution levels as organized gang members flee Sweden. Margareta Windberg , a former Deputy Prime Minister of Sweden, said: “I believe that we will never succeed in combattng trafficking in women if we do not simultaneously work to abolish prostitution and the sexual exploitation of women and children.” Not only is there a growing demand for sex services in Ireland, but Irish men are also willing to pay more than their European neighbours. The average cost of a 30 minute session is 150 euro, while an hour is 250 euro. The laws are loose and there is no market regulation, so with the high demand

and increased prices Ireland creates ideal conditions for foreign trafficking and organized crime. Adriana was only 19 when she from kidnapped from Africa and forced to make enormous payments to her captors. She slept with three to five men a day but was only given 20 to 30 euro a day, less than five per cent of her daily earnings. In April last year, 15 Romanian gang members were arrested in Northern Ireland on charges of trafficking. The gang promised Romanian woman good jobs in hotels and restaurants upon their arrival to Ireland but instead they were forced into the sex trade. The gang earned up to 2.3 million euro per annum, highlighting the significant gains for illegal traffickers with no market regulation. RTE’s Prime Time exposed a similar operation led by Romanian national Ion Anton. They found 14 women under his care who all used the Escort Ireland website. When one of the brothels was searched an accounts book showed he reeled in 100,000 euro weekly. This money is all unmarked, untaxed and illegal. In both cases legalised prostitution has made it possible for foreign traf-

“After criminalising prostitution in 1999, a significant reduction in trafficking and prostitution was seen” fickers to reap huge untaxed profits and exploit vulnerable girls.

There is no such thing as a victimless crime and Anton’s girls are no exception. They are moved around weekly to keep the Irish punters happy. These men want to experience new girls all the time. Floria, a former prostitute, testified to the ‘Turn off the Red Light’ campaign, stating that she had to work in Dublin, Limerick and Galway to keep her identity hidden. With all the movement around the country some ask why

these girls do not just run. Once in prostitution, 9 out of 10 women surveyed said they would like to leave but feel unable to do so. Sarah Benson says: “Prostitution is, for the vast majority, a survival tactic. It is not something they would be doing if they felt they had any other choices.” For the majority of woman affiliated with trafficking, violence and drug addiction remain the key inhibitors. Traffickers threaten the women and their families if they flee. The police

involved in the Northern Irish gang bust called this the ‘fear factor’. So when Irish legislation states that the seller must not be a victim, it must be referring to the 1 out of 10 prostitutes that feel safe to leave the industry, but

“This loophole in Irish legislation has only created a flourishing environment for trafficking and violence.” the lack of prosecution suggests otherwise. Violence is not just restricted to those who were brought in through illegal trafficking. According to ‘Turn off the Red Light’, 48% of all women in indoor prostitution have experienced violence from buyers. Although this figure relates to physical abuse, sex workers are not free of verbal abuse either. Forced sex worker Adriana, on several occasions, has been called a ‘bitch and a whore’. So this loophole in Irish legislation has only created a flourishing environment for trafficking and violence. The changing nature and sophistication of prostitution shows how the most vulnerable in society are used and abused for the pleasure of others. With no reform on the table, the growing demand and extreme profits will only continue to boom as Ireland remains an attractive market for organised crime. As long as Julia Roberts is a prostitute and Richard Gere is a hero, Pretty Woman will remain a fairy tale. If you want reality, all you have to do is look at the startling figures. Katie Varvos is a Postgraduate Student of International Peace Studies

urking somewhere on the back of a shelf in my home is a DVD entitled “George W. Bushisms: The Accidental Wit & Wisdom of America’s 43rd President”. It’s a collection of video clips of George W. Bush saying stupid things that I got as a present aged 14 or 15, and so sidesplittingly hilarious did I find it that I probably watched it at least 50 times in the six months that followed. “I know that human beings and fish can co-exist peacefully” was an especial beauty, as was “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family”.

“If we believe in the effective protection of human rights, we must make sure that all those who violate them are condignly punished” I still chuckle as I type those out, and it somewhat pains me now to admit that it was this fluff rather than some noble cause that first sparked my interest in politics. Bush’s attempt at re-election in 2004 was a catalyst for volumes of lampoonery, and I hoovered it all up with prodigious relish. When he eventually outpolled

John Kerry, I marvelled at how a man who exhibited serious difficulty at stringing together a coherent sentence could win a second term as the most powerful man on Earth. The idea that his struggle with English had no bearing on whether or not he was a good President didn’t occur; I just joined merrily in the big game of point and laugh. But even

when you look at it seriously there is no doubt that his presidency was a disastrous one. Given the explosion of government debt over which he presided, it is more than a little ironic that he sprung from a party now purporting to advocate fiscal rigour. But the aspect of his legacy most toxic in the minds of many remains the Iraq war. You will have

seen the images of the horrific abuse of prisoners at Abu Ghraib, a stomach-churning illustration of some of the basest consequences of the Bush administration’s “enhanced interrogation” policy.

“The aspect of his [George Bush’s] legacy most toxic in the minds of many remains the Iraq War” If we believe in the effective protection of human rights, we must make sure that all those who violate them are condignly punished. You would hope therefore that the free circulation of reams of evidence of a state-sanctioned torture program might lead to a bit of accountability for George W. Bush. As there are obvious political difficulties with hauling a former US President before an international court, the question of whether Bush faces charges passes into the bailiwick of Barack Obama, a figure lionised worldwide to the same extent by which Bush is reviled. Obama is the man who promised in the 2008 election campaign to order a review of the Bush interrogation program. If individuals were implicated in wilful criminality, as President he would take appropriate

Truth Behind

the Bile

Gavin McLoughlin discusses how the hatred of George W. Bush serves to deflect criticism from Barack Obama and obscure the broader debate about Western intervention in tyrannical states.

action because “nobody is above the law”. Instead, he has cravenly thwarted meaningful investigation at every turn. In April 2009, Obama blocked congressional attempts to establish a full inquiry because, in the words of his spokesman Robert Gibbs, he wanted to “look forward, not back”. What this really meant, of course, was that the requirements of his political agenda outweighed the requirement of doing justice. He didn’t want a divisive and emotionallycharged process impeding his efforts to deal with what certainly was an economic situation of exceptional gravity. Understandable, but this wasn’t his finest hour. Obama’s Attorney General concluded the review of the interrogation program in August, when investigations into the deaths of an Afghan and an Iraqi detainee were closed without charges being filed. Despite compelling evidence of the commission of war crimes, no-one will face criminal charges. This is absolutely scandalous, and yet Obama gets a relatively free pass while Bush remains the object of ridicule and vitriol.

This is just one symptom of the disease of double standards and shallow thinking that has served to obscure a broader debate about the legitimacy of foreign intervention in tyrannical states.

“Saddam had to be removed from power...there was no other option” Try and argue that despite the horrors of US military torture the Iraq war was morally right and it’s pretty

difficult to get anyone to take you seriously. Nevertheless, I ask that you temporarily divest yourself of any prior baggage and answer two initial questions. Would it really have been best if Saddam Hussein was left in charge of Iraq? This puffed-up, genocidal maniac was responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. Shouldn’t he have been held accountable for that? It is routinely alleged that George W. Bush manufactured intelligence about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction to suit his own ends. No weapons ever turned up, of course, but to accuse Bush of invention here is plain wrong. In large part, the information about Iraq’s weapons capability came during the Clinton presidency. Saddam had used chemical agents to poison the Kurdish town of Halabja in 1988 and was a long-time recalcitrant as far as weapons inspections were concerned, and the consensus of the international, not merely the American, intelligence community was that he had continued to maintain his cache of weapons. Here’s Clinton in December 1998 explaining why he ordered Operation Desert Fox, a round of cruise missile strikes directed at Iraqi military facilities: “Heavy as they are, the costs

of action must be weighed against the price of inaction. If Saddam defies the world and we fail to respond, we will face a far greater threat in the future. Saddam will strike again at his neigh-

a point that the hysterics aboard the “anti-war” bandwagon tend to miss. A sober, rational calculation is required: will intervention cause more innocents to suffer, or less?

here are controversial, ranging from 25,000-200,000 dead. Other political killings, including those “disappeared” by Saddam’s secret police: about 100,000 according to Human

bours. He will make war on his own people. And mark my words, he will develop weapons of mass destruction. He will deploy them, and he will use them.” Given what he thought he knew about Saddam’s weapons, Clinton’s logic was perfectly sensible, but if he wanted to put an end to the threat Saddam posed the most effective way so to do would have been to remove him from office and hold him to account for his crimes against humanity. The same goes for all the lunatic torturers and despots, the Milosevics, the Gaddafis, the Assads. Military action may be required, and accidental civilian casualties may occur, but that shouldn’t mean that the international community sits on its hands and allows these nutjobs to murder and destroy to their heart’s content. This is

The most credible tally puts the number of civilian deaths since the 2003 invasion at 111,000-121,000. This includes not only those killed by military forces, but also victims of the sectarian militias and “the breakdown in civil security following the invasion”. Every one of those deaths is one too many, and clearly the plan for the liberation of Iraq was dreadfully managed. But we must remove the blinkers of hindsight and examine the murderous legacy Saddam had accumulated by 2003. First there was the Iran-Iraq war that he started in 1980: approximately a million dead between both sides. Then there was the genocidal al-Anfal campaign against the Kurds of Northern Iraq in 1988: 50,000-100,000 fatalities. Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait precipitated the First Gulf War of 1991: estimates

Rights Watch, though because of the clandestine nature of these murders accurate totals can be difficult to ascertain. I could go on, but you get the idea. In the face of such a diabolical trail of death and the intelligence about his weapons, Saddam had to be removed from power. Morally speaking, there was no other option. And though the overall situation remains fragile, with sectarian and ethnic tensions still pervading, a free Iraqi people finally have a chance to determine their own future. For all the rancour and recrimination that surrounds this debate, that is a positive upon which all can surely agree.

“Nobody is above the law”

Gavin McLoughlin is a Senior Sophister Student of Law and Political Science

Snapped Boards and Spray Paint:

Editor Clare Burnett talks to Yorkshire-born artist Liam Hobson about his life and work and the practice of art in the 21st century.

LIAM THOMAS HOBSON / 23 YEARS OLD / HARROGATE / HARROGATE COLLEGE

How to be an artist in the 21st Century

Contemporary art has got a bad name. There are too many artists who live off their own fame, reproducing the same old shit because it earns them money and a permanent installation in the Tate - Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst are prime examples of this. Let’s be fair, to do something you love and earn a bomb for it would be everyone’s dream. With art, however, integrity and originality means a lot. A new generation of artists has seen the mistakes of the older generation, has been affected by the recession and the world in general going to hell, and is bringing creativity back to art.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE, DOES IT FIT INTO A GENRE? Im currently a big fan of abstract expressionism and it definitely is a massive influence in my work. I try to mix together abstract painting with a bit of graffiti/ street art style by using spray paint and stencils in my work. It’s a new genre I’m currently trying to work out and perfect... I don’t know what I’m gonna call it yet. ARE THERE ANY REAL LIFE INSPIRATIONS YOU WANT TO GIVE SOME CREDIT TO FOR INFLUENCING YOUR WORK? The first thing that really springs to mind is Barcelona and skateboarding. I first started going to Barcelona at the age of sixteen with all my friends mainly on skateboarding trips. I’ve now been there around twelve times and every visit is as inspiring as the next, I come back home with a whole different approach to life, which always benefits my paintings and my skateboarding massively. DO YOU THINK THAT WHERE YOU’RE FROM AND YOUR BACKGROUND INFLUENCES THE ART YOU CREATE? Yes so much so because I try to incorporate the things people say or do around me in my paintings. I like to write down funny quotes from friends and put them into my paintings, just as a little reminder because it’s good to look back at things like that.

IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT, IF ANY, IS THE PURPOSE OF ART? Spontaneously and consistently being creative doing the thing you love. DO YOU HAVE A RITUAL OR A PROCESS IN WHICH YOU DO YOUR BEST WORK? I have a lot of different ways to start painting, all it is really is finding the motivation in the way that suits me best on that day. It could be just looking at other artists on the internet or books. I recently found that if I get the blood flowing by either skateboarding or working out I can produce quite a lot more work which i always good. Sometimes I think when painting on your own it’s best to leave a painting for a while and then come back to it. IS THERE AN ARTIST OR GENRE OF ART WHICH YOU FEEL IS UNDERRATED OR UNDERAPPRECIATED BY MAINSTREAM CULTURE, AND WHY DO YOU THINK THEY DESERVE THIS RECOGNITION? Andy Warhol was both appreciated but yet underrated at the same time because of rumours that he never did his own work. He also was leading figure in the visual art movement which is pop art and he definitely got enough recognition whilst he was

alive. He is a big inspiration in my print and film work. DO YOU THINK IT’S NECESSARY TO HAVE AN EDUCATION IN THE ARTS TO BE A ‘PROPER’ ARTIST? Personally I don’t think you have to be educated to be a ‘proper artist’ or to produce a brilliant piece of art, I think its all down to the person who is putting paint onto canvas so to speak. Take Jean-Michel Basquait for example. He had no education and somehow after living in a cardboard box in New York he made it as one of the biggest artists of his generation. This is probably because he was at the right place at the right time but there is no denying he had a natural gift for painting. But would he have made it that far in the art world if he wasn’t in New York at that specific time... I don’t think he would have. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE MATERIALS OR MEDIUMS TO WORK WITH AND WHY? Oil, Acrylic, Spray Paint, Marker Pen, Canvas, Snapped Skateboards and Found Objects. I use these things because it’s fun and I love doing it. DO YOU OFTEN CHANGE THESE PREFERENCES OR DO YOU PREFER TO STAY IN THE SAME MEDIUMS?

When painting I find that I normally stick to the same medium but I am currently pushing my art practise into further paths to learn new skills. I am starting to concentrate a lot more on film-making and also printmaking which is very exciting and I find it gives me a lot more motivation when I go back to painting. THERE ARE LOADS OF BASHED UP SKATEBOARDS IN YOUR BODY OF WORK, IS THAT PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT TO YOU? HOW DO YOU THINK OR WANT NON-SKATERS TO REACT TO THAT? Basically I’ve always wanted to creatively combine both of my passions into one and I have my mate Jamie Humphrey to thank for that. Long story short I was just heading around to his outer-building/studio to go chill and paint with him and he basically started painting on a skateboard just before I got round there. It must have looked pretty good because he ran into his garden and shouted “I am a genius” at the top of his lungs only to get caught by his sisters boyfriend. Ever since that day we have been working on skated or snapped skateboards as a canvas and the great thing about it is I go through a lot of skateboards so I’m never in need of something to paint on. I’m not really too fussed on how non-skaters react to my work, I’m not really too fussed how skaters react to my work either.

is iT PossiBle, do You THinK, To Be accePTed inTo MainsTreaM arT WiTHouT ‘sellinG ouT’ as PeoPle liKe BanKsY are accused oF? I’m doing it because I have a passion for it... Oh and yeah Banksy is a sell out! Haha! THen, do You THinK iT’s iMPorTanT To You To Gain recoGniTion For Your WorK? I would like to get recognition for my work because I would like to find myself being able to pay my way in this world just by being creative and not having to work in a dead end job for minimum wage. WHaT do You liKe or disliKe MosT aBouT MainsTreaM arT? Art is an outlet, a stress release, a creative activity and I enjoy it very much. The art world can sometimes get me down though by the amount of rubbish work that is out there in the public eye which is probably going for more money than I earn in a good few years. WHaT is THe BesT adVice You’Ve eVer Had aBouT BeinG an arTisT? Don’t just stick to painting, broaden your artistic skills.

WHaT are You WorKinG on aT THe MoMenT, anYTHinG BiG in THe PiPeline? I am currently working on building a large body of work for an exhibition at the Mercer Art Gallery in Harrogate. I will be exhibiting a series of snapped boards, limited edition screen-prints and a feature film on the movement of water and skateboarding called “Let The Waters Flow”.

WHaT are Your Plans For THe FuTure; do You Plan on BeinG a Full-TiMe ProFessional arTisTs, or JusT use creaTiViTY in a JoB? My plans for the future are simple I’m just gonna keep on doing what I’m doing. Stay motivated, stay creative and always push my artwork further and further.

The Hollywood Ideology

William Foley on the film industry’s attitude to violence and its reflection of fears of terrorism, conflict and the growth of surveillance.

A notable trend that has emerged in Hollywood thrillers and action films over the past two decades has been the aspiration to present the “real world” in all its complexity. Films have become grittier, more frank and seemingly more aware of the moral grey zone in which their characters operate. The sanitised, anodyne representations of violence have been replaced by brutal, candid depictions. The protagonists of these films themselves have made a shift towards becoming more “humanised”. They are more likely to reveal vulnerabilities and frailties precipitated by the brutality and horror of their world and more likely to agonise over the morality of their actions

Seemingly, we are witnessing the death of ideology. Hollywood has done away with the simplistic, Manichean division between Good and Bad; there are only infinitely variegated shades of grey. The filmmaker can no longer count on the automatic support of the audience for the protagonist’s cause but must win them over to the rightness of it.

“Sanitised, anodyne representations of violence have been replaced by brutal, candid depictions” Hollywood has become a fully post-modern phenomenon or, more correctly, a phenomenon which has fully embraced post-modernity. After the End of History there is no overarching Grand Narrative into which filmmakers can insert their tales. In the absence of any Big Struggle, there is only a multiplicity of endless, contingent battles. 20

Surely, this is a progressive development? Does it not represent a newer, more humane Hollywood which is no longer willing to function as the propaganda department of the Western political order, a Hollywood eager to explore the complexities of the world and decide, without recourse to some convenient doctrine or dogma, which

cause is just and which is not? Only an examination of contemporary cinema will confirm or deny the proposition. When Steven Spielberg’s Munich was released in 2005 it provoked the usual howls of outrage from pro-Israeli media and organisations. The film depicted the story of a group of Israeli operatives who are charged with assassinating the members of Black September, a Palestinian terrorist organisation which was responsible for the murder of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. As the bodies of the innocent and the “guilty” start piling up, the group begins to question the morality of their mission. Finally, their Israeli handler reveals to the group’s leader Avner that there was no evidence linking any of the dead targets to Black September.

“Does if not represent a newer, more humane Holywood which is no longer willing to function as the propaganda department of the Western political order?” The film seems to criticise Israeli foreign policy by endowing their agents with a strong, ethical humanity that

leads them to question their very actions. “Look at how awful this mission is” the film seems to say, “see how these decent, humane guys revolt against it”. But is that really what Munich is saying? What is criticised is not the idea of

“[Batman] must save Gotham City from the Joker, a psychotic villain whose power to strike suddenly and without warning plays upon post9/11 American paranoia” the revenge mission but its execution. The Palestinians are not humanised in same way as their Israeli counterparts. Ali, a member of the PLO and the only Palestinian with a significant amount of dialogue in the film, admits to Avner that his countrymen have become “animals” and that his dream is that Israel

“cease to exist”. So, what the film really says is “Look at how superior the Israeli Jews are to the Palestinians. Even when they have to kill in the interests of natural justice they regret it. Whereas the Palestinians, they have become animals…” If the humanisation of protagonists is the first significant element in this new trend, then that of the necessary deception is the second. In “The Dark Knight”, the second film in Nolan’s trilogy, Batman (or the “Dark Knight” as he is now called so that the pseudoseriousness of the film is not undermined) must save Gotham City from the Joker, a psychotic villain whose power to strike suddenly and without warning plays upon post-9/11 American paranoia. In the film, there are three big deceptions. Firstly, since the Joker has threatened to kill a Gotham citizen every day until the Dark Knight reveals himself, idealistic District Attorney Harvey Dent names himself publicly as Batman so that the real caped crusader, Bruce Wayne, can continue

to battle the Joker. Secondly, when a Dent driven insane by the death of his fiancée Rachel goes on a murderous rampage, Batman takes the blame for the murder of Dent’s victims as well as that of Dent himself (whom he did kill) so that Dent’s courageous stand against organised crime can remain a source of hope for the people of Gotham. Finally, to spare Batman further suffering, his butler Alfred burns a letter from Rachel (who is also Wayne’s love interest) informing him of her plans to marry Dent. A final moment of significance is Batman’s use of a prototype tracking device to find the Joker. The device involves a massive invasion of the privacy of Gotham’s citizens and Batman uses it only on the proviso that it will be destroyed afterward. The lesson of the film is thus that deception and manipulation of the public is sometimes necessary in order to protect it from a greater evil. The problem arises, of course, when deciding when these abuses are justified. Justification is, in fact, the third element of this new trend. In the latest

“The lesson of the film is thus that deception and manipulation of the public is sometimes necessary in order to protect it from a greater evil” Bond film, Skyfall, 007 battles Raoul Silva, a cyber-terrorist whose goal is to exact revenge from Bond’s boss M. In the latter half of the film, M is called before a public inquiry into MI6. She is accused of running a ruthless and unaccountable organisation which acts entirely at its own discretion without regard to any moral or legal codes. M fully accepts the accusations. Furthermore, M claims that it is

necessary for MI6 to act in such a way because of the nature of counterterrorism. In an age when terrorists can strike from anywhere at any time with seemingly limitless resources, an agency is required which can defend the British people adequately. As such, it is necessary for MI6 to operate in a “shadow” world where agents must match the ruthless methods of their counterparts. This is undoubtedly the brutal viewpoint that the “real M” might very well espouse. The filmmakers are to be applauded here for their fidelity to reality. The question remains, however. Which side do they want us to be on?

“In many ways, Hollywood seems to have become a ‘more progressive’ entity. Filmmakers have abandoned the overt propaganda of a bygone age” In many ways Hollywood seems to have become a “more progressive” entity. Filmmakers have abandoned the overt propaganda of a bygone age and fully signed up to the postmodern

position, dispensing with ideology which always distorts the portrayal of “reality” and presenting the world as it is. However, there is something within this viewpoint that renders it problematic: the underlying presumption that “reality” can simply be depicted objectively without deeper scrutiny. Such a viewpoint ignores the possibility that there are certain assumptions which are woven into our perception of reality that flow from the very ideology of the dominant social, political and economic order. Mere uncritical reproduction of this “reality” simply reproduces the biases and prejudices inherent in it. Thus, all the elements of this new trend become their opposite. The humanisation of the protagonist becomes the dehumanisation of the enemy. The contingent violation of moral codes becomes, through repetition, established practice. The abolition of a fixed Enemy gives way to the even more Manichean notion of an eternal fight against a new, eternal Evil which can and does manifest itself in any place at any time (no wonder Silva in Skyfall and Bane in the latest Batman film are both distorted versions of Anonymous and Occupy activists respectively). Ultimately, the

eschewal of ideology becomes an even deeper commitment to it. In such a world, our defenders cannot afford the luxury of adhering to

“The humanisation of the protagonist becomes the dehumanisation of the enemy... (no wonder Silva in Skyfall and Bane in the latest Batman film are both distorted versions of Anonymous and Occupy activists respectively” moral codes that the enemy does not. The innate justice of their cause rests not with the morality of what they do but with their innately superior humanity which is somehow distinct from their actions. As long as they remain in the arbitrarily superior moral position there can be no limits on how they act; everything is permitted. As The Dark Knight’s tagline goes: “Welcome to a World without Rules”. William Foley is a Junior Freshman Student of Politics, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology

Israel has long claimed to be the only democracy in the Middle East, and has often been regarded as such by the West. However, it would now appear that many Israelis are not entirely in agreement. A heart-warming and original initiative called Real Democracy was recently established within Israel by a group of activists as a means of electoral rebellion, by which Israeli citizens could ‘donate’ their vote to Palestinians with no right to vote. The Facebook group, with a following of 3,230, is not only a voter-exchange base, but also an open forum for discussion. Obviously some Israelis see this initiative as treason, and some Palestinians view it as simply a method to choose the form of occupation they are living under. Heated discussions continue on the issues of terrorism, occupation, settlements, checkpoints, freedom of movement and the establishment of a Palestinian State. There is much bitterness and anger, but also much progress, in that ordinary Israelis and Palestinians, who would not usually have much day to day contact, are able to exchange ideas and opinions. Mohammad, who grew up in the Arroub refugee camp in Hebron, posted a request on the Facebook page to vote. He received a reply from Aya Shoshan, a 28 year-old Israeli, who said: “Hi Mohammad. I’m Aya, age 28. I am an Israeli citizen and I wish to give you my vote. Giving my vote is a symbolic act - if Palestinians are not

part of this democracy, then neither am I. Calling these elections a democracy when there are four million Palestinians under Israeli control with no right to vote in Israel or establish their own state is a joke. Let’s establish this hypocrisy together. My Palestinian friend, you have my vote. What would you like to do with it?”

“Israel has long claimed to be the only democracy in the Middle East, and has often been regarded as such by the West. However, it would now appear that many Israelis are not entirely in agreement” One of the most high profile participants is Bassam Amarin, who lost his ten-year-old daughter at the hands of an Israeli soldier. He decided to take part because Palestinians have “no power over the Israeli government”. It is a way in which the people of Israel and Palestine can reach out to each other, and prove that they need not always be enemies, even if they have suffered as much heartache as Amarin. One example of the success and fast-paced nature of the movement was on the 21st January, at about midnight, when nine Palestinians from Bil’in village - a symbol of Palestinian resistance - asked to collectively divide their vote between the Balad,

Hadash and Raam-Taal parties. Within 45 minutes, there were nine Israeli volunteers. The Facebook page provides pictures, videos and interviews with many of the participants, both Israeli and Palestinian, where they explain their reasons for participation and the choice for their vote. Despite the success of the campaign, there is a very long road ahead. One of the Real Democracy participants, Galib from Quadum village, was arrested on the 25th January, three days after the elections. According to the people in his village, Israeli soldiers came to look for him. Following pressure from the Real Democracy group, Galib was released without charge. It is widely believed that his arrest was directly linked to his participation in the peaceful initiative. It is a small movement, and had a minor impact on the elections themselves, as the results show with the return of Netanyahu and the rise of the far right Jewish Home party. However, it is the social impact which is turning heads. The fact that Israelis, seen as the oppressors and aggressors, have initiated this movement and are standing up for Palestinian rights is a step in the right direction. It shows the willingness of ordinary people to move towards peace, in contrast to the rigid and militaristic stance taken by the government. We can only hope that such initiatives increase in number and size so as to put enough pressure on the government that they make a real difference on the political stage.

New Civil Disobedience in Israel Claire Payne discusses the phenomenon of Real Democracy and the effects that it has and could have on the future of Palestinians in Israel by claire payne

It’s a fact; most people struggle with weight loss. So when you are perusing Facebook and an advert pops up claiming unprecedented weight loss, it’s hard not to have a wee glance.

women turn to diet pills claiming miracle weight loss. The weight loss industry is one of the fastest growing industries worldwide. It is estimated that in 2014 American consumers will spend just over $3 billion (€2.3 bn)

Oprah said the super fruit tasted like, “a vibrant blend of berries and chocolate” and her celebrity hosting equivalent, Dr. Oz, told viewers it was nicknamed the “beauty berry” in Brazil. Not only have the talk shows

“It’s a fact; most people struggle with weight loss. So when you are perusing Facebook and an advert pops up claiming unprecedented weight loss, it’s hard not to have a wee glance ” Wow, these tiny pills have helped hundreds of morbidly obese women turn instantly into tiny sexy bombshells. According to hundreds of testimonies, all you have to do is pop two little acai berry and colon cleansing tablets a day, sit back and let the fat melt away. And look, how handy, a direct link to the FREE TRIAL. After punching in your credit card details and clicking the terms and conditions, you sit back daydreaming about your new body, and the miracle pills that will solve your bulging problems are already in the post, for a small shipping fee of course. Sound familiar? Well, you are not alone. Nutrascience have been making a mint by offering ‘free trials’ of their acai berry supplement, which angry consumers claim are not so free. Nutrascience uses bogus claims, fake testimonials and slick marketing tricks, which has led to floods of consumer complaints about the acai berry and colon cleansing supplements. Many consumers who have bought the tablets claim that the supposed weight loss is a myth. Diet pills that don’t work? That’s nothing new, but buyers are furious because their credit cards have been charged with exorbitant amounts after signing up to a supposedly free trial. With obesity levels at an all-time high, it is no surprise that many

on diet pills alone. But whether it is Denver or Dublin, the industry has no limits; most weight loss products are now bought online, creating a new market for diet pill scams. Of the weight loss products to be found on the internet, the acai berry supplement is probably the best known. This ‘miracle fruit’ rose to fame when it was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr Perricone named the berry as

first on his list of ‘top ten super foods’. He claimed the berry was vital, not only for antiageing, but also for weight loss.

picked up on this hot topic, but university research teams in Florida, Texas and Oregon provide evidence to support the celebrity claims also. Their findings show the berry contains a combination of antioxidants, amino acids and omega fatty acids. In addition to having all the same vitamins and minerals as most fruits, the acai berry also contains unique plant chemical compounds found in no other fruit on the planet. But the biggest selling point for the acai berry is one particular antioxidant, anthocyanin, which is hundreds of times stronger than that found in your average fruits. There is no doubt that scientists, doctors, nutritionists and celebrities alike agree on the berry’s benefits. While the berry itself may be a miracle worker, many of the supplements which claim extreme weight loss simply do not measure up. So how exactly does the Nutrascience scam work? Most people who have signed up for the Nutrascience ‘14 day free trial’ have been lured in by advertisements on the internet posing as magazines or blogs. After giving their credit card details they are sent 30 days’ worth of acai berry and colon cleansing tablets. However, the free trial is only 14 days, so if you do not want to be charged the whopping 85 euro for the product you must return it within 21 days.

Nutra-scam Katie Varvos tells us her findings on investigating the scamming of unwitting customers in weight loss pills and eyelash extension products by katie varvos

This information is all available in the terms and conditions. The reality, though, is that most internet users rarely read the terms and conditions. TJ McIntyre, IT solicitor and lecturer of Law at UCD, says that, “the average person visits 1400 websites a year, each website has an average 2500word condition agreement, which means that if you read all the terms and conditions on every website you would be reading for 76 days straight.” But while the guidelines are technically stated in the terms and conditions, the website provides no return address, and many consumers have found that the contact number is consistently on a busy tone. And the deal only gets worse: if you do not cancel the product every month you will receive another batch delivered to your home at a price of 85 dollars. Jane Reilly, a schoolteacher from London, was one of the many customers who felt scammed when her purchase of the acai berry and colon cleansing products from Nutrascience cost her £250 (€300). She was also targeted by an advert over Facebook, which she thought was an article written by the Daily Mail. Jane says: “Nutrascience messed

American Federal Trade Commissioner (FTC) banned the American based company from selling anymore of the acai berry and colon cleansing products. The FTC also faulted Central Coast Nutraceuticals for not disclosing adequate information in the terms and conditions, charging consumers’ credit cards without permission, making claims that the product results in weight loss without competent and reliable scientific tests, and publishing deceptive and false statements for financial gain. The Better Business Bureau in America named the acai berry and colon cleansing ‘free trial’ as one of the “top scams and rip offs in 2009”. So while Central Coast Nutraceuticals have been shut down in America,

Central Coast Nutraceuticals, were told to return the product. Not only is this the return address for Nutrascience and Nutraceuticals, but also for a host of other diet product companies. Pro Action, Pure Meta Boost and Slim Pure Hoodia all operate from this Sheffield office. This is also the return address for Pro Lash,

“Angry customers have been sending products back to this address from Ireland, England, America and France...because it is advertised online the scam has no boundaries” me around, delayed their response and have now left me in debt and completely terrified. They are coldblooded criminals.” A spokesperson for the National Consumer Agency in Ireland said they have received some complaints about Nutrascience. But in England the complaints are far more prevalent. Online forums are swamped: Scambook.com has received 62 UK complaints, canyoutrustthem.com has recorded 45 and moneysavingexperts. com has a whopping 343 complaints. The product is also being complained about on reviewtalks.com, theyscam. com and several personal angry consumer blogs. Nutrascience may be new to the Irish and English punter, but in America a very similar money making scam was has been going on for years and was finally shut down by the Feds in 2010. This January, the company, Central Coast Nutraceuticals, was forced to shell out $1.5 million (1.2m euro) in consumer refunds. The

Nutrascience are still operating in Ireland and the UK. Why? The problem seems to be tracking down Nutrascience. According to the Irish Company Registration Office, there is no company with the name Nutrascience registered in Ireland, yet on the website, they give an Irish phone number, which is in operation. When I placed a call to the Dublin number, I was eventually transferred to an operator, who reluctantly said the products were produced in America and shipped to Sheffield in England. The agent was answering phones in Sheffield. According to Company House in the UK, Nutrascience, which was located in Durham, was dissolved in April of 2011. A few of the lucky buyers were able to obtain the return address. The return address for the Nutrascience product is: PO Box 4802, Sheffield. This is the same address to which American customers, who bought from shut down and sued company

a product that claims to lengthen eyelashes. And angry consumers have been sending products back to this address from Ireland, England, America and France. Because it is advertised online, the scam has no boundaries. So it seems Nutrascience is just one of many companies operating incognito. The acai berry and colon cleansing products trade under Nutrascience, just like the eyelash extension product trades under Pro Lash. But these products really come from an umbrella company, a company that could be operating from anywhere in the globe. So until this web of scammers is caught, be careful of false advertising and slick marketing tricks. As weight loss season approaches the online diet products are only likely to increase. Buyer beware, the only thing that these products will shrink is your wallet.

On the South Carolina coast a monster lies. It sleeps in the marshes, the sweetgrass-strewn wasteland battered by Atlantic winds. And when the golfers come to town, the Ocean Course at Kiawah Island wakes, waiting to sink its teeth into their dreams. It is a brute of a golf course, hellishly long and thronged with hazard at every turn. Freshwater alligators stalk the perimeter, dipping in and out of the marsh-pools. The roar of the ocean and the wind is a near-constant companion. Sand is everywhere, the track dotted with little dunes and hollows waiting to gobble an errant shot up.

“It was a contest soured by an ugliness of spirit, a rancour that pervaded competitors and spectators alike” The place was built for the Ryder Cup of 1991. A war raged in the Persian Gulf and the event became a receptacle for the patriotic fervour of America. Some of their players wore combat-style gear, and a squadron of fighter jets flew over an opening ceremony that included Marine guards of honour and the spinning rifles of a US army drill team. It was a contest soured by an ugliness of spirit, a rancour that pervaded competitors and spectators alike. As perhaps only they could at such an emotionally-charged juncture, the Americans triumphed after the German Bernhard Langer missed a sixfoot putt that would have seen Europe retain the trophy. But the barbarity of the golf course left almost as great a legacy, and in 2010 Golf Digest ranked it the most difficult in the United States. So it was here that a mop-haired kid from Holywood, Co. Down arrived to play in the prestigious US PGA Championship in August. Rory McIlroy was already a global superstar, a winner of one of golf ’s coveted major championships, but the carefree manner in which he dismantled Kiawah Island to romp home 8 strokes ahead of the field propelled him to an even higher plane. He would finish the year as the World No. 1, and winner of the overall money list on both the American and European Tours. There is a tendency in some quarters of the sports media to over-emphasise natural ability. You can have all the talent in the world, but in a

Get on with

sport as complex and difficult as golf thousands of hours of diligent practice are required to nurture it. This is easy to forget when you watch McIlroy swing a golf club. He looks as though he were born to play this game. If you’re not a golf fan, I suggest you seek out some footage of him in action. Watch as he takes the club head away from the ball in a graceful arc and delivers it back with a ferocious strength that belies his relative lack of stature. Power, precision, posture, technique and timing combine to produce a golf swing striking in its beauty. McIlroy’s play is to be savoured, so it was with arrant dismay that I learned that the forces of xenophobic bullshit could deprive us of the opportunity to watch him compete at the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro in 2016. Northern Ireland does not field a squad at the Games, so its athletes have the option of competing for either the Irish or the British teams. An invidious position, certainly, but one would expect that in the aftermath of the Good Friday Agreement almost all would accept first that the decision is an entirely personal one and second that either choice is perfectly legitimate. Not so, as it turns out. In an interview in September, Mc-

the

Golf

“The propensity of the nationalist for excessive self-regard has always been especially potent in this country” Ilroy averred that he had always felt more British than Irish. Therefore, he would play for Britain, not Ireland, at the Olympics. Then the yammering started. The propensity of the nationalist for excessive self-regard has always been especially potent in this country, and it reared its ugly head in the reaction of many to McIlroy’s statements. How on Earth, they fatuously wondered, could someone choose to be British when they could

by gavin mcloughlin

be Irish? In particular, how could someone of McIlroy’s Catholic background do this? The riposte he might have delivered was that he was born and raised in the UK, and in any case his decision is none of anyone else’s damn business. But because he is by all accounts a thoroughly decent bloke, McIlroy has now resiled from his initial comments and indicated to the BBC that he may not take part in the Olympics at all, for fear of his decision upsetting people. He is being far too generous. Those who would judge him negatively for following his heart do not merit his consideration. They need to learn to keep out of other people’s affairs. They need to learn that Irishness is not a mark of superiority, merely one identity in a world of many. Most of all, they need to learn that what is important is not that McIlroy plays under an Irish label, but that he just plays. It would be best if they learned it soon, but to expect this would perhaps be quixotic on my part. Nevertheless, this issue is not going to wither away of its own accord. It will lurk insidiously in the background, casting a barely perceptible shadow over everything the Northern Irishman accomplishes between now and Rio. Let’s hope McIlroy tells the begrudgers where to go and puts an early end to this silly sideshow. Only then we can get on with that which is most important: the golf. Gavin McLoughlin is a Senior Sophister Student of Law and Politics

SHE SAYS: If you’re a frequent one-nightstander, you may be able to relate to the multitude of potential problems you could encounter once the dirty deed is done. Apart from the obvious benefits of getting your jollies, the occupational hazards of hooking up with randomers surely outweigh the benefits, right? Picture the scene: It’s been hours since you downed that naggin at pre drinks and you’re now fist-pumping away to some generic beat pounding around your skull. You’re hot and sweaty, your make up’s run down your face. You are in a general hack. But it doesn’t matter, cus you’re feeling sexy! Sexier than you’ve ever felt,

those sexy alcopops really sexed you up, didn’t they, sexy. You spot Sexy Person. You start to dance even sexier, your arms snaking through the air, you’re a sexy serpent, hips thrusting, head down, eyes staring sultrily upwards under those heavy lashes that are coming away from the glue holding them to your eyes. You lock eyes with Sexy Person from across the dance floor. You might get bought a drink, you might dance a while. Ultimately, you shift. They’re so sexy. So sexy, in fact, that you’re now explaining to your friends that you’re going back to your house for some sexy time. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you might even be going back to theirs. At this stage, hopefully some conversation will have been exchanged between you and said Sexy Person. If not, it’s fine. You won’t remember anything anyway in the morning. You arrive at your destination and promptly get naked in front of a perfect stranger, fiddling around with each other for a while. If you’re lucky, you’ll fall asleep straight after, avoiding awkward

post-coital chit chat. Now two possible scenarios lie ahead of you; If you’re in your own house you can rest easy in the hope that they’ll probably be gone in the morning before you wake up. Even if they’re not, you can wake them up and send them on their way by telling them you have to be somewhere. If you’re in their house, however, you’re (hopefully) gonna want to wake up early to get out as fast as possible. When your one-night lover sees you in the absence of fluorescent disco lights sparkling intermittently in dark club corners, they mightn’t think so highly of you as they did in their hazy 2 am state. After a quick hunt for your clothes, you tumble out the door into the unforgiving morning air. At this moment in your life, public transport is your only saving grace. Hungover and smelling faintly of unwashed places, you fall onto a bus, just another dirty drop in the ocean of the great unwashed. You ask yourself why you couldn’t be safe at home in your own bed with no one else to kick out of it. You ask yourself what decisions led you to this pinnacle of existence. You wish you knew. You might smile to yourself. by Georgia Lena O’Sullivan

SAYS:

Two of the most popular ways to get sexual pleasure are alone and with someone else. As going Hans Solo, or using that copy of Zoo you’ve got stashed away can get a bit tiresome after a few laps/days/years, I’d like to recommend the one night stand. Just picture it. You’ve just woken up in someone else’s bed. It’s the spare bedroom; a mild smell of 30

cat poo accompanies a collection of National Geographic magazines from the last ten years stacked up in the corner. Your head is banging. That’s when you realise; lying right beside you is that girl you met the night before but can’t quite remember the name of. It’s all coming back now. The beer goggles meant you didn’t quite notice that wart on the side of her face, or the scars from the sex change. That was a bit of a downer when you found out. You remember copping a feel while waiting for that doner kebab, munching the doner kebab, and then copping another feel. You recall shouting “For Gondor” at inappropriate times during copulation. Now you wish you’d just stayed at home and played Fifa. But what do you do? Don’t panic, there’s a few options. Whatever you do don’t wake the beast. You could run like Forrest

Gump and get out of there while you still can, perhaps slipping on the boxers if time allows. Try to avoid breakfast. This will only lead to the awkward moment where you have to take her number down in your Nokia 3310 and can’t quite remember her name. If she is fast asleep, take a moment to go to your trouser pocket and enjoy that melted Freddo of Victory you’d got saved. Then, brave the streets, wipe that stain off the inside of your trouser leg as you walk brazenly home in last night’s dishevelled shirt, ready to slag your mate for ordering a half pint the previous night, and for a few well-earned Hi-5s. Don’t tell the lads about her sex change. Besides, they’ll probably already know. Later, as according to the LAD Bible, get ready to do it all over again the following night. Repeat ad nauseam. by Duncan Edward Moss

The Art of the One Night Stand

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