November 2016

Diary of an introvert mom

November 2016

Page 18

What toddlers really want

MAKE YOUR OWN PEPPERMINT BARK!

Page 14

Why isn’t my kid walking yet?

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Page 22

Krue, 2, St. Paul

TOYS! Kid-tested holiday gift ideas Page 28

THE ‘IT’ TOY WHY YOUR CHILD DOES (OR DOESN’T) NEED IT Page 40

A Minnesota Tradition for 30 Years Bachman’s Holiday Open House

Santa and Albert

Rock Christmas

www.accracare.org

ISSUE 11

VOLUME 31

28

Toys, toys, toys!

Check out 35 kid-tested, parent-approved holiday gift ideas, made possible by our highly scientific annual toy test!

40

Splurge alert Should you buy the expensive doll, LEGO set or gadget your little one “realy really” wants? Maybe.

About our cover kid Name: Krue

Age: 2

City: St. Paul

Parents: Chris Pierce and Kendra Logan Sibling: Kayla, 16 Personality: Happy, charming, always has a smile Favorite toys: Her dinosaur and baby dolls Favorite book: I Love My Hair by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley Favorite activities: Being outdoors and playing with her dog, Duke Favorite foods: Spaghetti Photos by Tracy Walsh / tracywalshphoto.com

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

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Out & About

24 IN THE KITCHEN

Holiday joy This homemade peppermint bark is life changing. Trust us.

8 FROM THE EDITOR

Toy salad

Buying a car

Some day your kids will stop playing with all those annoying toys.

Here’s what you need to know before setting foot on a dealer lot.

10 CHATTER

Let it snow!

Walk this way

12 BABY ON BOARD

How can I encourage my 1-year-old to start taking his first steps?

Or not. You don’t have to give in to the pressure of ‘The Holidays.’

14 TODDLER TIME

Cloud dough Try this (and many other alternatives to toys) when it comes to toddlers.

16 SCHOOL DAYS

Just say no In this Age of Entitlement, our kids need to hear that word more than ever.

18 TEENS AND TWEENS

Introvert girl

My daughter isn’t shy. She just prefers smaller social groups and, sometimes, alone time.

November 2016 • mnparent.com

22 ASK THE PEDIATRICIAN

Go skiiing, snowboard or tubing — with the kids — this winter.

Make memories

6

20 GROWS ON TREES

26 BOOKSHELF

Giraffes can dance These books offer fun but important lessons about developing character.

50 FROM OUR READERS

Master chefs

Your cute kids love to help in the kitchen, especialy when it comes to baking!

FROM THE EDITOR mnparent.com

PUBLISHER Janis Hall jhall@mnparent.com SALES MANAGER AND CO-PUBLISHER Terry Gahan tgahan@mnparent.com EDITOR Sarah Jackson 612-436-4385 • editor@mnparent.com CONTRIBUTORS Eric Braun, Abbie Burgess, Jamie Crowson Megan Devine, Dr. Gigi Chawla, Shannon Keough, Laura Ramsborg Tracy Walsh, Jen Wittes, Jennifer Wizbowski CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sarah Karnas skarnas@mnparent.com PAGE DESIGNER Dana Croatt SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Valerie Moe GRAPHIC DESIGNER Amanda Wadeson CLIENT SERVICES Delaney Patterson 612-436-5070 • dpatterson@mnpubs.com CIRCULATION Marlo Johnson 612-436-4388 • distribution@mnparent.com mnparent.com/find-a-copy ADVERTISING 612-436-4360 • sales@mnparent.com 50,000 copies of Minnesota Parent are printed monthly, available at news stands statewide.

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Toys, toys, toys!

I

’m so excited about all the awesome toys — and toy-related ideas — we’re spotlighting this month in our annual Toy Issue!

Wait. What? You don’t want more toys? You don’t like how your carpet/coffee table/entire existence has disappeared under a thick layer of giant playgyms/ mats/bouncers/vibrating chairs, noisemakers and Megabloks? Or maybe it’s the $3,000 worth of Thomas/Chuggington train sets, the 257 Hot Wheels cars or the 80,001 stuffed animals/dolls/Barbies/Calico Critters?

If you’re a neat freak or Type A or just, well, human, all the clutter of children’s playthings (no Photo by Tracy Walsh / tracywalshphoto.com matter how minimalist you might strive to be) can be exhausting, unnerving and — year over year — positively relentless.

I remember when my son was about 3, his favorite activity during playdates was to take out all his toys, puzzles, games, cars and LEGOs from their proper places only to dump them out into one big HILARIOUS toy salad.

When the playdate would inevitably end with meltdowns all around, we’d have to bulldoze through the shambles just to reach our child’s bed. (So THAT’s why the kids left us grown-ups alone for 20-minute stretches of conversation! We knew it was too good to be true!)

Today, my son’s playdates go pretty much the same way, even though he’s 8.

And even our day-to-day existence is a constant cycle of play, pick-up, put-away.

Repeat.

But these days, I don’t resent it quite so much.

In recent years, my family and friends with older kids (teens and tweens) have shown me something: Their children don’t play with toys.

They might play sports or jump on a trampoline, or lead the occasional game of Heads Up! on the iPad. But when it comes to toys, they’re just too old. They have smartphones and independently developed social lives, too.

So, while I’m still sick of managing messes, there’s a tiny part of me that knows, one day it will be gone — along with my son’s childlike ways of playing, (gulp!) — and I know I’ll truly miss it.

Sarah Jackson, Editor

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

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CHATTER

Hit the slopes (or trails)!

ACTING OUT

Parenting can be infinitely frustrating. It’s a grind that can suck the life out of even the most playful of parents.

How can you bring back some of that magic?

The answer, according to two Minneapolis moms, may be improv parentings classes, play days and camps.

Improv Parenting is the brainchild of mother-of-three Keren Gudeman, an educator and improv newcomer, who teamed up with a local improv instructor and fellow parent, Jen Scott.

This past summer, the two launched workshops and classes that use improv techniques to encourage kids to play and to help parents trust themselves, respond instead of react, be in the moment, listen better, be authentic, collaborate and set clear boundaries, while also having fun.

“For a lot of our day-to-day interactions, we’re negotiating,” Gudeman said of modern parenting. “What’s a way you can make it more playful?”

Gudeman shared an example of trying to pick up her son from preschool: When he tried, as usual, to run in the opposite direction down the hall when it was time to go, Gudeman pretended to smear him with a giant stick of “glue” so he would “stick” to her as she picked him up.

Young children, Gudeman said, aren’t always being defiant. Why not look at the world from their point of view?

“We use improv to play games and practice skills, without any pressure to perform, and we ground our material in research,” Scott said. “We believe in the power of play, creativity and spontaneity for joyful, connected families.”

Upcoming classes, held at various Twin Cities locations, include a Preschooler and Adult Workshop at 10:30 a.m. Nov. 10 (free), an Adult Workshop from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Nov. 13 ($15 per person) and Elementary Workshops on Nov. 19 (3 p.m. for grades K-2 and 4 p.m. for grades 3-5), both free!

Learn more at improvparenting.com.

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

Winter is coming.

Are you curling up into a fetal position with your favorite Slanket yet?

Well, maybe you could skip the cabin fever this year. What if you could embrace winter by getting into skiing, snowboarding or even just tubing as a family?

Check out more than a dozen winterfun destinations in Minnesota at skiandboardmn.com, which includes a snow-reports page that allows you to compare ski hills with a single chart to find the best conditions and the most open runs.

Some of the closest resorts include Afton Alps (Hastings), Buck Hill (Burnsville), Elm Creek Winter Recreation Area (Maple Grove) and Hyland Hills (Bloomington). Plus, there are many others worth a drive throughout the state on the North Shore and beyond.

Remember: Skiing and snowboarding aren’t just for big kids. Many destinations offer lessons for kids as young 4 — and some even offer them for 3-year-olds! If downhill skiing isn’t your deal, check out The Loppet Foundation’s Trail Kids adventure club with winter programming starting in December.

Learn more at skiandboardmn.com, exploreminnesota.com/slopes and loppet.org/trail-kids.

Winter Family Fun

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Let’s give Baby a present G

et ready … it’s Baby’s first “holiday season!”

Time to gather around the crèche, the menorah or the non-denominational dinner table and show Baby what the holidays are all about — spending time with family and friends, honoring our religious/ social traditions and getting lots and lots of presents.

“What should I get my baby for Christmas?” is a commonly considered question for parents with babies under the age of 1. The possibilities are endless.

Your child is showing signs of impending walking — perhaps an “activity walker” would make the milestone more engaging?

But plastic toys are so impermanent — an $85 wooden “rainbow stacking tunnel” is super cute and could become a cherished family heirloom! And furthermore, what holiday celebration isn’t made sweeter with an appearance by Sophie the Giraffe?

It’s easy to get caught up in the mania, especially when sentimentality sets in.

After all, it’s Baby’s First Big Holiday Experience — it needs to be meaningful! It needs to be memorable!

And most important, it needs to look really good on Facebook.

⊲⊲Or you could dial it back Yes, I’m a little jaded about the “holiday season” — at least as far as babies are concerned.

What if we could all slow down and embrace some radical honesty? We might all come to recognize a liberating fact: Baby isn’t going to remember any of this.

Whether little Mason is dressed up in a cute little Santa suit or a stained onesie, he simply won’t have the social conditioning to feel embarrassed about the non-efforts of his lazy, selfish parents.

⊲⊲If you must

It needs to be memorable!

And most important, it needs to look really good on Facebook.

I’m of the opinion that babies really don’t need much in the way of official “toys.” Instead, start with what they most definitely don’t need — for instance, toys with small, chokeable pieces, anything doused in lead paint and their own personal iPads — and go on from there.

⊲⊲Simple and classic Despite all my “babies don’t need toys” blather, both of my babies actually had plenty of toys — toys I bought them, toys their grandparents bought them, toys handed down from any number of friends with older kids. And this was all fine and good.

But sometimes I would get overwhelmed by all the stuff, so I’d box up about three-quarters of it all and leave out a much smaller selection. The items that made the cut were almost always very basic — balls, blocks, scarves and cute little maracas, for example.

Simple toys have remarkable staying power and often get used throughout the toddler and preschool years.

⊲⊲‘For them’ (but really for you) Since your baby can’t really express his opinions very clearly, now’s the time for selfish gift giving. Say you’ve always wanted a membership at the science museum or the Walker. This is the year to get one!

After all, it’s not just for you — it’s also a gift of culture to your accompanying infant.

Books are another good idea. Because, if you haven’t

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

BABY STUFF

Teether toy ⊲⊲If your kid can’t get enough of chewing on your car keys (ew!), you might want to strike up a friendship with Eli the Elephant, Gus the Giraffe, and Leo the Lion — a trio of chompable stainless steel “keys.” Geared toward ages 6 months and up, dishwasher-safe Kleynimals (pronounced “clean-i-mals”) aren’t cheap, but they’ll certainly last from one child to the next, if not the next generation. $34.99 • kleynimals.com

figured it out yet, children’s books can be super annoying. And no matter how discerning you think you are, some of these irritating books will get into your house — and eventually become your child’s favorite books.

So attack the problem early and start stocking up on books that you actually want to read out loud.

Everyone has their own taste, of course, but I particularly enjoy the collected works of William Steig and Dr. Seuss.

As for those annoying books you weed out? Sneak them out of the house, drive them across town and deposit them in an obscure little lending library.

Shannon Keough lives in Minneapolis with her husband and two children.

Send questions or comments to skeough@mnparent.com.

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mnparent.com • November 2016

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Remove the batteries from anything with sirens, earworm melodies, baby talk or Elmo’s giggle. Immediately. Don’t look back. Don’t feel guilty. Avoid psychosis.

Rotate your toys, hiding some away for a rainy day. This really does make them new and exciting again and can really help you resist the urge to overindulge in new toys.

Do a toy swap with friends. Do it with parents only to avoid a battle of toddler “mines.” Also, use your noggin: Don’t send your kid’s “extra” stuffed animals to a frequently visited playmate’s house.

⊲⊲Find something else to do.

Be a rebel. Savor simpler times. Revisit your youth. DITCH the toys.

Again, I say this as an expert train table engineer, a lover of building blocks and a dollhouse designer.

When you’re sick of the Playskool singsong migraine bus, when your rabid midwinter bed-headed, jelly-stained mini dino is stomping and roaring for something new, try these cool DIY toys from around the house: Pots and pans. A classic! But you have to commit. Pull them all out — the wooden spoons too — and pop in your earbuds. No rules, no holding back, let them drum and encourage cacophony.

Cloud dough. It’s silky, it’s like moonsand. It’s moldable awesomeness. Though this alternative to playdough is traditionally made with baby oil and flour, many toddler parents feel that vegetable oil is safer. It’s up to you. You can jazz it up with tempura paint powder and glitter, too.

Toys schmoys D

on’t get me wrong: I LOVE our annual Toy Issue. My kiddos have participated in the official Minnesota Parent Toy Test, and I even rely on the results for holiday ideas.

I’ve also genuinely loved checking out all the cool new toy favorites — old and new — with my kids, neighbors, nieces and nephews during each stage of childhood.

But the toddler years can be tricky in terms of “stuff.” They’re just getting into actual toys. They rapidly outgrow age-appropriate toys. And they simply don’t understand that you can’t afford to buy them new toys every single day.

⊲⊲Manage it your way.

How should you deal with all this simultaneous development, growth, independent play, budding consumerism and your limited budget? Here are a few survival tips:

Containers and lids. Mix and match. Fill them with toddler-safe items. Stack, organize, take them to the bath. The possibilities are endless.

Safe, sturdy bookshelf. Let go of your Type A and allow your child to empty and reorganize a display area or bookshelf. Better for older toddlers, this is something they'll LOVE to do — plus it encourages independence, critical thinking and confidence. Try it!

You’ll see!

Toilet paper. Mummies. Décor. Let go and let it roll.

Cardboard tubes. Once your home is thoroughly TP-ed, use the rolls (plus paper towel rolls, too) for horns, crafts, rollers and building.

Old electronics. Batteries-out, plug-free old phones and remotes are fun for “playing grown-up.”

Swiffers, brooms and mops. Don’t worry TOO much about your toddler actually getting the job done. If there’s a small reduction in dust, just call it a welcome side effect. (Toddlers LOVE this one.)

Boxes. This is the MVP of DIY toys. We all know the old saying;

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

TODDLER STUFF

Yoga teddy bear ⊲⊲Meddy Teddy — a “100 percent yogaposeable” bear — isn’t the first toy to encourage kids to practice yoga. But Meddy, with his serene smile and peacefully closed eyes, may be the first to also encourage mediation, a mindfulness practice parents are finding surprisingly effective in dealing with behavior problems. One Baltimore elementary school even replaced detention with meditation, which led to a dramatically reduced number of suspensions. Namaste! $29.95 • meddyteddy.com

“He had more fun playing with the box than the actual toy!” Boxes are playhouses, castles, desks, schools, racecars and hideouts — and, for hipster toddlers — breakdancing mats. Save them up and have a big old box party. Don’t forget the crayons and stickers. Decorating is key.

Kids love their toys and parents (and grandparents) love to buy them.

But toddlers love the opportunity to explore their everyday surroundings, make messes and wreak a little non-threatening havoc with what’s often off limits.

The old school stuff you used to do at Grandma’s when you were a tot is still really cool with today’s toddlers. The brown box post office? The kitchen floor drum set?

Come on: It just doesn’t get better.

Jen Wittes is a freelance writer and mother of two who lives in St. Paul. Learn more about her work at jenwittes.com. Send questions or comments to jwittes@mnparent.com.

It’s more than OK to say no M

y poor children!

They were born into a family where their mother and father aren’t afraid to say no — and to mean it. At times, they might think it’s an unfortunate circumstance, but I know that it’s often for their own good.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of times that my husband and I do say yes, and cave in to requests. But, in our parenting journey, we’re working hard to enforce rules, consequences, limits and boundaries that reflect the values we’re trying to instill in our children (and the love we have for them, too).

Ultimately, we want to keep our children safe and healthy. We also want them to grow up to be welladjusted adults who know how to work through disappointment and frustration, who have experienced — and understand how to delay — gratification and who understand how to have a healthy work/life/ extracurricular balance.

I know my children need and sometimes — even though their actions and/or emotions may not show it — want to hear the word no.

As psychologist David Walsh — author of No: Why Kids of All Ages Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It — said: “No, is not just a one-word answer, it is a parenting strategy.”

⊲⊲Why do we cave so easily?

Saying “no,” and meaning it can be exhausting! As a kindergarten teacher and mother of four, I’ve had my fair share of experiences with vocal, disappointed children who haven’t liked what I’ve had to say.

I know, in the short term, it can be a lot easier and can take a lot less effort to let your child get his or her way, rather than standing strong.

But creating a “yes” culture, as Walsh puts it, can send kids the message that they can and should have whatever they want whenever they want it.

Walsh, who argues children’s brains are primed early on to learn the concept of “no, explains that avoiding “no” can lead to disappointment and failure

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when kids later learn they can’t always have their way.

Amy McCready in her book The ‘Me, Me, Me’ Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World, argues that the habit of giving in can be detrimental for families: It happens in the car, at home, in stores, at the park — you name it. It’s the great give-in, and it’s one of the biggest contributors to the entitlement epidemic. Desperate parents everywhere cave when their kids push them hard enough, teaching them all kinds of unhelpful lessons: for instance, that rules can be broken and that it’s perfectly acceptable to use bad behavior to accomplish a goal.

⊲⊲Facing down the guilt Also, feelings of guilt can weigh us down as parents.

You’ve probably been there too, thinking you’re the worst parent or catching yourself worrying that you’re depriving your children of something “everyone else” has or does.

But the reality is, oftentimes a simple “no” can open up opportunities for more time together, less time working to pay something off and fewer commitments, which can potentially alleviate stress for the entire family.

No, is not just a one-word answer, it is a parenting strategy.

SCHOOL-AGE STUFF

Allergy stamps ⊲⊲Having a child with a food allergy can cause great anxiety for parents, especially when it comes to sending their children out into the world. These fun, customizable stamps — which feature popular characters such as Minions, Pooh, Darth Vader, Anna and Elsa — can help families keep everyone informed quickly, easily and playfully. $45 • expressionery.com

I remember when my daughter was in first grade and we made the hard decision to have her stop participating in the dance class she loved and excelled at when she was in kindergarten. Her first-grade practice schedule would have been over the suppertime hour three days of the school-week.

As a working mom with (at that time) four children ages 7 and younger, it was an overwhelming undertaking to make multiple after-school trips along with the necessary responsibilities of keeping a home.

Having her participate in the experience would have compromised our chance to spend time around our family table daily — and my sanity.

Just thinking about it was stressful!

We said “no,” and she survived. And, with this perspective and understanding of how saying “no” can open up more time together, our family is thriving.

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Megan Devine lives and blogs in Northeastern Minnesota. Follow her on Instagram @megtdevine. Send questions or comments to at mdevine@mnparent.com.

mnparent.com • November 2016

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Introvert vs. extrovert D

uring a recent dinner conversation with my teens, I asked the age-old conversation starter: Who did you sit with at lunch today?

I got two very different responses. As I took their answers in, I realized that this one simple question defines how they each approach life and relationships.

⊲⊲When they were young My daughter is a 13-year-old eighth-grader.

I’ve known since she was a babe in my arms that she was an introvert. She wanted to be held by no one but me. She felt safe as long as she could tuck her head in to the curve of my neck. She was calm if she could face inward — even as an older baby in a carrier.

As a toddler, she would slam down the shade of her stroller when she wasn’t in the mood for the public’s attention.

My first born was practically the opposite. A long line of drool followed him everywhere during his infancy. His mouth was always in a wide-open smile.

All that darn spittle would never stay in his mouth.

In the baby carrier, he was like one of those oldfashioned wooden toy soldier ornaments — the kind that, when you pulled its string, would move all four appendages up and down simultaneously.

When he was a toddler, I was constantly looking for him: He ran too fast — and always in the other direction. During his school-age years, it was the same thing: I can’t remember a time in the grocery store when I wasn’t calling out for him from the checkout.

⊲⊲Lunch-table dilemma When my daughter entered the seventh grade, it came as no surprise to me when she started complaining about her lunch table. She had her group of six girls or so that she sat with throughout the year.

These were her true comrades. They shared selfies, giggles and their baggies of bites. That is until one of her friends, (perhaps an extrovert) thought she’d invite a friend or two. And, in turn, those friends also invited a friend or two.

It got to where there was no room to sit.

Did I mention the cafeteria tables don’t have benches, but instead little circle seats that fit only one person? (I could relate to her frustration!)

This year, now in eighth grade, the girls solved the problem by sharing three tables together. So when I asked her the question — Who did you sit with at lunch?

— it sort of opened a can of worms for her. She likes her small group of friends.

⊲⊲Switching it up You should’ve seen the look on her face when my son responded.

He spent his first two years

TEEN STUFF

Combating overeating ⊲⊲If your child is struggling with overeating, it can be incredibly hard to discuss the issue.

Aimed at helping parents of ages 10 to 18, Free Your Child from Overeating — written by therapist and mother four Michelle Maidenberg — helps families address the causes of overeating and offers more than 50 mind-body strategies rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy. It also includes ways to talk to your child about overeating without discussing his or her weight. $16.95 • amazon.com

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

of high school always looking his groups of friends in the lunch room.

“This year I am going to switch it up," he said. "I’ve been sitting with a different group of kids every day.”

Their different responses made me giggle. I get my middle schooler. Being an introvert doesn’t mean she’s shy. She has a whole group of good friends. But it does mean that smaller groups of people and, sometimes, total alone time is what really revs her up.

Her small group of confidants is a buoy of support for her — after having to deal with the public at large for the rest of the day.

My son, on the other hand, is energized by all of the busyness. He can’t get enough.

⊲⊲What’s my role?

My job, I believe, is to understand their unique needs, but to challenge them, too.

For my extrovert, I have to try to pull him away from activity. Because — as exciting as it is — we all need rest. And he needs time to get his homework done. Did I mention how tiring it is (as an introvert) to parent an extremely active extrovert?!

I’m exhausted by his activity level.

As for my girl, I know her struggle. I encourage her to warm up to the new soccer player on her team. I push her a bit to communicate verbally when she doesn’t feel like it. I make sure I convince her active brother to stop for a bit. And I try to take time to hug her on the couch, and give her one-on-one time.

I guess they both need me in a different way. They meet the world in a different way.

But I’m learning how to see past the chatty and the quiet stereotypes in each of them.

And do you know what I see, despite their differences? They both know who they are — and what makes them tick.

And even though they’re not the same: They’re both happy.

Jennifer Wizbowski lives in Excelsior with her husband, and daughter and son, ages 13 and 15. Send comments, questions and story ideas to jwizbowski@mnparent.com.

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My friend’s uncle’s second cousin’s son has autism.

My friend’s uncle’s second cousin’s son has autism.

My friend’s uncle’s second cousin’s son has autism.

My friend’s uncle’s second cousin’s son has autism.

My friend’s uncle’s second cousin’s son has autism.

Autism is getting closer to home. Today, 1 in 110 children is diagnosed.

Early diagnosis can make a lifetime of difference.

Learn the signs at autismspeaks.org © 2010 Autism Speaks Inc. “Autism Speaks” and “It’s time to listen” & design are trademarks owned by Autism Speaks Inc. All rights reserved.

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8/8/11 5:43 PM

ATTENTION WOMEN 21-33: Would You Consider Being an Egg Donor?

The Center for Reproductive Medicine is seeking women between 21 and 33 years of age to donate eggs for couples who cannot otherwise achieve pregnancy.

You will be compensated for your time and dedication.

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www.ivfminnesota.com Accredited by: Society for Assisted Reproductive Technologies, American College of OB/GYNs and American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM).

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mnparent.com • November 2016

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⊲⊲2. Narrow your search.

Figuring out the car models you want to look at more closely is pretty simple: Start with the types you like, and you can do most of your research online. Sites like Kelly Blue Book and Edmunds offer tons of information and thorough reviews.

Not surprisingly, Amazon is in the car biz, too — you can not only see specs and read reviews for just about any model of car, but you can also ask questions of other owners before you ever set foot on a dealer lot.

With a bit more research, you can figure out if the average monthly payments of cars you like will fit into the figure you arrived at in Step 1. Remember that your down payment amount can drastically change your monthly payment.

Figuring out if you should buy used or new — or lease — is a little more complicated. Here are the basic pros and cons of four options:

Buying a car L

ike me, you may think of the car-buying process as something like grocery shopping at a box store on a Sunday afternoon, only worse. You know it’s going to be painful, but you grit your teeth and get it over with. Sure, you go home with what you need afterwards, but they didn’t have everything you wanted, and you probably spent more than you meant to.

You probably also know that a car is often the second-biggest item people buy in their lifetime, and experts suggest the transaction should be approached with careful thought and research.

You can be as thorough as your time and inclination allow, but it comes down to four basic steps.

⊲⊲1. Set a smart budget.

Consumer Reports offers this basic rule-of-thumb: Your total monthly debt payments — including for your house, student loans, credit cards and car — should be less than 36 percent of your gross (before taxes) monthly income.

So you can find your car payment ballpark by adding your other loan payments and subtracting them from that 36 percent figure.

(What if you arrive at a negative number? No need to panic, just know that you should buy the most affordable, reliable car you can find, and work toward reducing your overall debt load.)

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

Buy used.

Pros: Best value for the money Cons: Higher interest rate; and you won’t always know the car’s full history.

Lease new.

Pros: Full warranty; could help you afford a higher-end car Cons: You won’t own the car and you’ll pay penalties if you can’t stick to the distance limits and other parameters.

Buy new.

Pros: Full warranty; lower interest rate; often free maintenance and roadside assistance Cons: Highest cost; fewer features for the money in most cases Buy certified pre-owned.

Pros: Lower price for a very slightly used car; certified as reliable by the dealership; often has the same warranty as a new car Cons: Still a higher price than a more-used car

⊲⊲3. Figure out the true cost Check with your bank, credit union or other lender to get a quote on the interest rate you’ll qualify for. Remember to check with local credit unions — they might offer rates that are 1 or even 2 percent lower than banks. CULookup.com can help you find a credit union you can join. You can also use Bankrate’s rate search to see average rates in your area.

Once you know the interest rate, you can get a better estimate of your monthly payment.

Add sales tax, the registration fees and insurance onto the sticker price to identify a car’s true total cost.

⊲⊲4. Go to the dealership.

Sunday, November 20 12 – 4 pm, FREE

Now that you’ve done your research, it’s time to test drive the cars. Take your time with the test drive to make sure you like the car. Ask lots of questions.

You’ve already identified the cars’ total costs, as well as the interest rate you know you can get. Remember to bring these figures with you for reference at the dealership so that — once you start talking sales with a dealer — you can quickly figure out if you should go with dealer financing, a cash-back offer or your own lender’s rate.

Bankrate also has a car-rebate-versuslow-interest calculator to help you figure out which is best for your bottom line.

Don’t be afraid to haggle for the best price based on the research you’ve done. Once you and the dealer have agreed on a price, be prepared to say no to all those extras you’ll be offered.

⊲⊲5. Consider digital dealers Still feel queasy at the thought of negotiating at a dealership?

You might also explore the idea of going with a “digital dealer,” a third-party online retailer such as Beepi, Shift, Carvana and Vroom, where you can buy a used car online.

That’s right: You buy the car sight unseen.

But these services offer a full inspection and reconditioning of each car prior to sale. They also provide a no-questions-asked, moneyback guarantee return policy.

If hassle-avoidance is a priority for you, this might be an option to investigate! (And do your grocery runs during the week.)

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Eric Braun is a Minneapolis dad of two boys. Send comments or questions to ebraun@mnparent.com.

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mnparent.com • November 2016

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Is toddler lisping normal?

My daughter is 2 years old and has a bit of a lisp. Does she need a speech therapist?

Articulation concerns are common among parents.

Acquisition of language sounds is expected along a continuum based on age, placement of tongue, generation of sound location and coordination.

There’s also quite a range of anticipated “normal” ages for kids to acquire those sounds. Since hearing sounds clearly is needed in order to speak sounds clearly, any speech concerns should prompt a hearing evaluation.

Lisps are often developmental and are usually outgrown by age 5, but they may persist until age 8. Lisps typically occur around the S, Z, and TH sounds with air escaping around the tongue.

If kids are still having trouble with lisping by kindergarten, it’s a good idea to be assessed by a speech therapist as it may be more difficult to correct later. Additionally, by age 8, other children may

start noticing a child’s lisp and may be inclined to point out differences in articulation.

So, think of that lisp at age 2 as just plain normal and adorable!

Go to mnparent.com/lisp for a timeline showing typical speech sound development: B, H, M, N, P and W often come first, while R, S, V, Z and TH can come as late as 7 or 8 years old.

Our teenager listens to music with over-ear headphones and she CRANKS them so loud!

What is her risk of noise-induced hearing loss?

If you’ve ever been to a music concert and left experiencing ringing in your ears and difficulty hearing, you know firsthand that loud sounds can cause hearing damage.

Most of the time, attending a concert isn’t quite loud enough or prolonged enough to cause permanent loss.

But listening to loud music is a real concern, so real, in fact, that the World Health Organization has estimated that 1 billion teenagers and young adults are at risk for hearing loss.

Excessively loud sounds

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

(more than 140 decibels, comparable to a jet engine at 100 feet) or prolonged exposure to loud music can be detrimental to hearing and cause permanent hearing loss.

Prolonged exposure, 8 hours at 85 decibels (comparable to the intensity of sound of garbage disposal or blender) or 15 min at 100 decibels (comparable to the sound of a motorcycle or snowmobile), can occur while kids are listening to music. Generally, earbuds put kids at greater risk for hearing loss than over-the-ear headphones, but hearing loss due to the intensity of the sound and the length of exposure could occur with either.

My 1-year-old isn’t walking. How can I encourage him to at least try?

It takes incredible strength, balance, coordination and bravery to take those first steps. Babies typically start walking between age 9 months and 15 months.

Babies, who learn to walk best with bare feet, often begin near-walking by “creeping” alongside furniture or walking next to a table or sofa while holding on for balance.

Additionally, near-walking while holding on to grown-ups’ fingers can show babies how much fun walking can be!

In a safe area, not near stairs, you can try offering any type of toy that allows a baby to push while holding on and walking, such as a toy shopping cart, to provide some extra independence in near-walking.

Practice makes perfect. Being supportive, present and delighted with your baby’s progress is the best encouragement for your near-walker!

Teens should generally not listen to music via ear buds or headphones at greater than 50 percent volume, and they should take regular breaks from listening to music. (Editor’s note: Etymotic.com sells $39 kids’ earbuds engineered for supposedly safer sound output.)

At annual well-child visits, audiometry will be performed to test your teen’s hearing.

But if you have concerns about hearing loss, don’t wait until the next well-child visit.

This should prompt a visit to your pediatrician for testing as soon as possible.

Dr. Gigi Chawla is a board-certified pediatrician and the senior medical director of primary care at Children’s Hospitals and Clinics of Minnesota. Send your questions to gchawla@mnparent.com.

Candyland IN THE KITCHEN

By Sarah Jackson and Valerie Moe

Williams-Sonoma is famous for its holiday peppermint bark. But if you don’t have $30 to spend on a pound of the stuff, why not make your own? In multiple at-home tests, this recipe turned out beautifully for us — and you can even let the kids help bash the candies, spread the chocolate, sprinkle the peppermints and break the bark into pieces, too!

TIPS Chop it: If you prefer finer pieces of candy, you can use a food processor or coffee grinder to break the candy into tasty sprinkles.

Try chips: We used white chocolate chips for a brighter white color and we loved the flavor.

Let the kids help: We recommend double bagging the hard candy and putting a thick, nonslip cutting board underneath, too, to minimize breakage of the bag — and the spread of mint dust. To protect your counter tops and minimize noise, do this on a carpeted floor.

PEPPERMINT BARK INGREDIENTS 8 ounces peppermint candies or candy canes 12 ounces milk chocolate chips or dark chocolate chips 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 12 ounces good quality white chocolate ½ teaspoon peppermint extract

Photo by Sarah Karnas

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DIRECTIONS Smash the peppermint candies in a Ziploc bag, using a heavy pot, a rolling pin or meat mallet.

Microwave the milk chocolate chips and the oil at 50 percent power until melted, about 1 to 2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds.

Spread the melted milk chocolate in an even layer in a parchment-lined 9-by-13-inch pan.

Refrigerate for 45 minutes or until the chocolate is firm.

Melt the white chocolate at 50 percent power, stirring every 30 seconds.

Stir in the peppermint extract.

Spread the melted white chocolate in an even layer on top of the milk chocolate layer, then immediately sprinkle on the smashed peppermints.

Refrigerate again for 45 minutes or until the white chocolate is set.

Break the bark into irregular pieces with a knife or fork.

Store the candy in an airtight container at room temperature for several weeks.

BOOKSHELF

Building character

By Laura Ramsborg Introduce your kids to courageous characters by adding these top titles to your holiday shopping list.

PICTURE BOOKS

Little Blue Truck

PRE-CHAPTER BOOKS

Sign Up Here

by Alice Schertle and Jill McElmurry

Plucky Blue, the star of this loveable series, is a little pick-up truck with a can-do attitude. In this book (the first of the series), Blue cheerfully comes to the rescue when a friend gets stuck in the mud; then Blue gets stuck too, and must call on his barnyard pals for help.

This story shares the joy of helping others, in a kid-friendly way.

by Kathryn Cole and Qin Leng

Gaston

by Kelly DiPucchio and Christian Robinson

Endearing bulldog Gaston discovers he was accidentally switched at birth and raised with a poodle family. After trying to reverse the mix-up, Gaston learns to embrace who he is and the family he loves.

Giraffes Can’t Dance

by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees

Meet Gerald, a giraffe who desperately wants to dance, but can’t quite get his long, wobbly legs to cooperate.

With perseverance and a little encouragement from a new friend, Gerald succeeds. Gerald’s story will inspire your kids to try, try again, and make their dreams come true, even in the face of critics.

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Ada Twist, Scientist

by Andrea Beaty and David Roberts

Inspired by scientists Ada Lovelace and Marie Curie, Ada Twist’s tireless curiosity drives her to always ask “Why” and never stop looking for answers. Ada is a true inspiration for kids to become whoever they want to be. Other titles in the series include Rosie Revere, Engineer and Iggy Peck, Architect.

When Dee-Dee is excluded from several school clubs by the other kids, she decides to start a club all her own: It’s called Friendship and everyone can join.

This heartwarming tale is part of the I’m a Great Little Kid series, which features diverse characters and empowers kids to seek solutions for a variety of tough situations.

EARLY CHAPTER BOOKS

Be Someone’s Sunshine When Their Skies Are Gray

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International Assisted Reproductive Center MNP 1016 12.indd 9/22/16 2 9:50 AM

if you are a fan of determination, then you are already a fan of Special Olympics. volunteer, support, coach or compete.

Zita the Spacegirl

specialolympicsminnesota.org

by Ben Hatke

Fans of graphic novels and fantastical space creatures will adore Zita. After landing on an unknown planet, Zita becomes an accidental heroine when she must rescue her best friend, Joseph, from space aliens. This colorful epic adventure reveals the meaning of friendship through Zita’s selfless loyalty.

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8/8/11 3:41 PM

Wonder

by R.J. Palacios

Full of heart and hope, August “Auggie” Pullman is an unforgettable character who only wants the freedom to be himself.

Born with a severe facial deformity, Auggie fearlessly attends public school for the first time when he’s 10 years old. In spite of challenges, Auggie perseveres, forms friendships and teaches everyone a lasting lesson about kindness. Perfect for a family read-aloud, Auggie’s story will stick with you long after you turn the last page.

Minnetonka’s Navigator Program is specially designed for highly gifted children in grades 2-5.

Parent information sessions: November 15 & 21 • Classroom open houses: December 7 & 8 Application deadline: January 27, 2017 • Learn more: www.minnetonkaschools.org Minnetonka Public Schools MNP 1116 S3.indd 1

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mnparent.com • November 2016

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Carter, 6, Bloomington

NEON CRUZER

$59.99 | ages 5 and up

You know a toy is cool when kids fight over it, which is what happened during our test. One kid wanted to ride it, the other wanted to carry it around like Linus with his blankie with intermittent spurts of riding. It’s super-sturdy, features a grippy cool-blue transparent deck and wheels that light up blue when they spin quickly. And its lights are completely motion powered, so no batteries are needed.

Downside: Only lightweight grown-ups are advised to try this one out as its max weight is 134 pounds.

Where to buy: Toys 'R' Us or neonlyghts.com Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

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WIN THE

HOLIDAYS

WITH THESE

35 AWESOME

KID-APPROVED

TOYS

By Sarah Jackson

mnparent.com • November 2016

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TOYS

PEOPLE BLOCKS $59.99 | ages 1 and up The makers of Magna-Tiles have introduced a new product to engage a younger audience. Our infant and toddler toy testers enjoyed pulling them apart and watching them snap back together.

Bonus: Local toy store chain Creative Kidstuff and Minnetonkabased St. David’s Center for Child & Family Development put this on their 2016 joint list of top toys for kids on the autism spectrum.

Downside: Price Where to buy: Creative Kidstuff

TREE TOP ACTIVITY TABLE

$99.99 | ages 1 to 4

Oodles of moving parts — including lots of bead runs and animal-themed gliders — made this nature-themed toy engaging for ages 9 months and older during our toy test. And its sturdy base kept it from tipping over on the 1-year-olds. Parents, meanwhile, liked its contemporary wooden design (attractive enough to stay sitting out on a living room floor).

Downside: Price Where to buy: Pacifier

PULL AND GO CAR $9.99 | 6 months and up This little gem from Skip Hop won big points for cuteness and functionality, too. Youngsters at our toy test were attracted to its soft, silicone feel and smooth rubber wheels. They seemed to find it easy to pull back, and they loved chasing it as it zoomed across carpeted and wood floors.

Downside: None Where to buy: Bed, Bath & Beyond

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Editor’s note: Though we list specific local retailers — who helped make this toy test possible with donations and loaner toys — many other local retailers and online outlets also carry the toys featured in this issue. See our sidebar on local toy stores, and be sure to call individual stores to confirm availability and pricing.

START-UP CIRCUITS

$19.95 | 18 months and up Invented by a local mom — Yvonne Ng, founder of Engineer’s Playground, a STEM resource guide — these toys are to babies what Snap Circuits are to grade schoolers. A fan, a light and a noisemaker can all be powered with interchangeable bases with different on-off switches.

Downside: The high-pitched noisemaker keeps whining until you manually turn it back off.

Where to buy: mindware.com

Saraya, 2½, Woodbury Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

mnparent.com • November 2016

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TOYS

CUPCAKE SET

$25 | ages 2 to 6

We had no idea how amazingly popular this eco-friendly Green Toys set would be with our little testers, who loved the cupcakes’ three types of interchangable components — liner, cake and frosting — all displayed on a handy stand. Babies and toddlers kept coming back to this toy for sorting, staking and “tasting.”

Downside: None Where to buy: Moss Envy

Krue, 2, St. Paul

Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

LATCHES BARN $39.99 | ages 3 and up Melissa and Doug (real parents with six kids!) have taken their popular latches board to the next level by building a barn with functional doors.

Our infant and older testers kept busy with this new-yet-classic-looking toy.

Downside: The flimsy, weirdly fuzzy animals that come with this toy aren’t toddler safe and should be set aside if you have younger kids playing with this toy, which we recommend. The only other danger to little ones we can see would be chewing on the barn or (maybe) getting fingers pinched a bit in the latches or doors.

Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

MYLAND HORSE

$19.99 | ages 2 and up

“Super-cute toy!” said one parent, which pretty much sums up this delightful, interactive set. All the kids liked this little toy, which makes a lovely neighing sound when you put the rider in the saddle, plus galloping and chirping-bird sounds triggered by different play patterns. Car, houseboat and seal versions are available, too.

Downside: It’s more novelty/heirloom than go-to toy, but it would be a crowd-pleaser of a baby-shower gift — or a whimsical stocking stuffer for Christmas morning.

Where to buy: Pacifier

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CUBES PUZZLE $23.99 | ages 2 and up This compact, award-winning, six-in-one puzzle set offered just the right amount of challenge for our toddler-age testers. Three double-sided puzzle boards feature cutouts for four cubes. By luck — or process of elimination — kids have to find which face of each cube will fit with the playful, vibrant, garden animal pictures.

Downside: None Where to buy: HABAusa.com

TOYS

PIKI PIKI BIKE $69.95 | 18 months and up | 70 pounds max Honestly we were skeptical of this trike’s cheap-looking plastic construction. But reviewers online loved it — and so did our test kids. It’s ready to ride the second you get it out of the box (after you put on a few stickers) and it handles and corners surprisingly well, far better than other models we’ve tested. And it looks like a motorcycle, which our test kids loved, too.

Downside: Appearance Where to buy: amazon.com or gallospencetoys.com

FOREST FRIENDS PLAYSET $19.99 | 18 months and up Ages 1 to adult couldn’t resist the sheer cuteness of this sturdy toy, which is designed to help kids learn about animals, counting and colors while practicing fine motor skills. Each squeezable character fits perfectly into the tree, which is quaint and stable enough to sit out as a kid-room decoration when not in use.

STACK AND ROLL WOODEN RACE CARS $19.99 | 18 months and up If your kids are too young to play with Hot Wheels, Matchbox or other big-kid cars, this well-made set of five racers would make a good substitute.

Our test kids enjoyed how easily these zoomed across the floor. We parents liked their vintage toy appearance.

Downside: None Where to buy: Lakeshore Learning

Downside: They’re stackable in only one order (largest to smallest) and the stack is wobbly.

Where to buy: Lakeshore Learning

Q-BITZ JR.

SAGO MINI JINJA’S HOUSE

$19.95 | ages 3 to 8

$25 | ages 3 and up

This compact game takes the fun of blocks and turns it into a pattern-matching game that requires spatial reasoning and problem solving. Each player receives a set of cubes and a small wooden tray.

When someone turns over a pattern card, players must quickly recreate the pattern with their cubes.

This playhouse isn’t just cute, it’s portable, thanks to a cool fold-up design. Our testers couldn’t resist little attachable slide and staircase and the little pieces used to act out dining, sleeping and even getting the mail.

Downside: None

Downside: It’s made of cardboard, so it won’t last forever, unless you leave it at Grandma’s house.

Where to buy: mindware.com

Where to buy: Kiddywampus mnparent.com • November 2016

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TOYS TOYS

MAGNUTTO JUNIOR $24.99 | ages 3 and up We home tested all three of these awardwinning magnetic sets, including Make a Dino, Make a Mood and Make a Pet. Designed to help children identify, express, understand and respond to feelings and emotions, these sets are just plain fun and encourage creativity and silliness, too. We like that the sturdy box opens to a magnetic easel and closes with a rubber band to tightly store all the magnets.

Downside: Its many pieces (more than 100) would be easy to lose.

Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

SWITCH PITCH $8.99 | ages 3 and up This clicky-clacky ball switches color in midair, providing a fascinating, mysterious diversion for all ages.

Downside: After studying it for hours, we still don’t know quite how it works!

Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

CROCODILE HEAD HAND PUPPET

$6.50 | ages 3 and up

If encouraging silliness and playing make-believe are your goals, then this surprisingly responsive hand pxuppet is for you. Our little testers couldn’t get enough of chomping everything in sight with this goofy, flexible reptile.

Downside: Pet hair might stick to this type of plastic.

Where to buy: Kiddywampus

CARDBOARD CREATOR TOOL KIT $24.99 | ages 4 to 11 Add it to the list of things you never thought you’d need as a parent — a kidsafe saw for cardboard. Well, this kit includes two. And we were surprised how well they cut for being relatively dull (which is to say safe). Strong hinges and bolts, plus a pry bar, dibble-like tools and a colorful booklet featuring step-bystep instructions for five projects should occupy your kids for hours. (Our home tester nearly wore himself out using the saw!)

Downside: You provide the cardboard. Also, the saw creates a lot of fuzzy paper debris, so keep your vacuum ready for when you’re done.

Where to buy: Lakeshore Learning

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4-IN-1 GAME RUG $29.99 | ages 3 and up Not only do you get four games in one with this Melissa & Doug toy — Tic-TacToe, Checkers, Nine Men’s Morris and Solitaire — you also get a high-quality, non-slip, stain-resistant, machine-washable, 78-inch-long rug/playmat. It comes with 36 double-sided wooden play pieces (and a mesh bag).

Downside: None Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

MAGNATABS $19.99 and up | ages 3 and up Parents — and kids — couldn’t put this magnetic toy down! A stylus magically pulls metal balls up from inside a bead board, emitting a pleasant clicking sound with every sphere. Boards that teach writing techniques for the ABCs, numbers, cursive and Hebrew are also available.

Downside: None Where to buy: Pacifier

CODE-A-PILLAR $49.99 | ages 3 to 6 This Fisher-Price robot teaches computer coding at the preschool level. A variety of segments — forward, left, right, pause — easily connect together to send the chirpy, blinky little caterpillar on a customizable path. All ages of testers enjoyed watching and interacting with this toy. Segment expansion packs are available to make the creature even longer.

Downside: It doesn’t work very well on carpet. Also, the song that the purple “pause” segment plays is quite annoying. “But,” one mom said, “I suppose you could just ‘lose’ that piece and play without it.”

Where to buy: Target, Toys 'R' Us, Amazon

MY FAIRY GARDEN MAGICAL COTTAGE

$29.99 | ages 4 and up

We weren’t able to test the soil and seeds included with this kit, but our testers loved the look, feel and interactive nature of this indoor fairy garden, even without plants. It comes with a fairy named Freya and a little chipmunk, Hazel, to encourage imaginative play. You can open the doors to the cottage where there’s a table and chairs for sharing tea with other fairies. You can pour water into the toadstool and around the roof of the flowerpot and watch the drips trickle evenly throughout the garden.

Downside: None Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

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TOYS BALANCE BEANS $17.99 | ages 5 and up

PLAYMOBIL NHL HOCKEY ARENA

$59.99 | ages 5 and up

Part game, part imaginative playset, this toy encouraged our test kids — older testers especially — to use their hand-eye coordination. You can move the goalie with a joystick and a pull-back feature on the skaters lets you shoot pucks into the nets with lightning speed with a flick if your finger. This toy is well-built and customizable to your favorite NHL teams and players of choice. Add-on sets include a Zamboni machine, a Stanley Cup presentation set and a score clock.

The cuteness of this “seesaw logic game” drew all ages during our test, despite its “pre-algebra” leanings. It also provided an undivided hour of entertainment for our 8-year-old home tester, who loved the trial-and-error concept: You start with one bean on the left side (as determined by your chosen challenge card).

Then you have to figure out how to add the other assigned beans to balance out the teeter-totter.

Downside: None Where to buy: ABC Toy Zone

Downside: It’s big, almost 3 feet long (though it can be stored in two pieces).

Where to buy: Creative Kidstuff

LUX BLOX $69.99 | ages 6 and up LEGOs are the gold standard of building toys. But they aren’t exactly flexible once built. Enter a new kind of clutch power — Lux Blox. Once connected, they can bend, twist, and turn while retaining strength and stability. They come with embellishments such as wooden dowels and even popsicle sticks, but they don’t come with instructions.

That was a stumbling block at first for our 8-year-old home tester, but once he got building (using Lux Blox videos and photos), he loved these toys.

Downside: Price Where to buy: luxblox.com

NOOCHIE GOLF $139.99 | ages 6 and up After a mini golf outing, two young boys and their parents invented this sturdy course so they could play at home. This four-piece set was hugely popular with all ages during our test. We liked the option to create different course paths and the plastic-but-solid kid-sized putter.

Downside: Adults could easily practice with this set. However, the hole is smaller than regulation size, and it comes with a foam — rather than real — golf ball.

Where to buy: Hub Hobby

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

Harley, 3, Woodbury Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

LIL LOCKITZ $39.99 | ages 5 and up This “Best Friend Party Pack” includes beads, sparkles and charms to create wearable collages, including necklaces, bracelets and keychains. We like the photo puncher, easy instructions and the idea of making things for friends.

Downside: Once you use up the charms and other elements, you’re left with an empty storage case unless you keep buying more sets. Also, this series seems overly gendered toward girls.

Where to buy: Toys 'R' Us

LITTLE RED ACCORDION

REACTORZ LIGHT UP SOCCER BALL

$17.99 | ages 5 and up

Living at our latitude, we know the joy of long summers, but we’re also blessed with dark days in spring and fall, making this light-up LED ball a hit for playing in the dark. Indeed, in our recent home testing, this ball proved to be yet another novel way to get the kids outside. It’s not a regulation soccer ball, but it’s multi-textured construction includes a grippy plastic shell that made it easy to control. It’s also soft to catch — ideal for all ages (not just the listed 5 and up).

$32.99 | ages 7 and up “It’s pretty cool that this is a functioning accordion!” said one test parent, who was one of many who adored this vintage-looking, but real working instrument from a classic toymaker — Schylling. It was fun for little kids, but — for the target age range — it comes with instructions and sheet music with a couple songs you can learn to play by pressing the right keys. And the sound is gorgeous.

Downside: It lights up only when it’s bounced or kicked (and only for a few seconds).

Downside: Its buttons are labeled with the musical notes, but the instructions list numbers for the keys. Also: Like any musical instrument, it’s noisy.

Where to buy: Toys 'R' Us

Where to buy: Electric Fetus

Q-BA-MAZE 2.0 $39.95 | ages 6 and up Kids love marble tracks. They’re fun to build and even more fun to watch. Unlike most sets, this 72-piece cube maze features unpredictable runs because of its two-way-exit cubes, which allow for multiple paths for your intermediate engineer. Our 8-year-old home tester loved building with this super-sturdy set, which comes with 20 steel marbles and three types of colorful cubes.

Downside: None Where to buy: mindware.com mnparent.com • November 2016

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TOYS

K’NEX INFINITE JOURNEY ROLLER COASTER $39.95 | ages 7 and up This amusement park kit (part of a kinetic series) earned top honors from our 8-year-old home tester, who spent two full hours building it and said: “This is the awesomest K’NEX set ever. It’s just so cool. I want this so bad.”

With its 347 pieces, it was challenging for our advanced builder, but not boring. And the rubber-band pull-back car offered lessons in gravity and momentum with the rise and fall of its many twists and turns.

Downside: Illustrations in the directions would be easier to decipher if they were bigger. Also, the journey isn’t infinite: You have to pull back the car each time it runs the course. Other, more expensive, motorized sets from K’NEX address this issue.

Where to buy: whatonearthcatalog.com and amazon.com

PLAYMOBIL SPACE ROCKET WITH LAUNCH SITE

$49.99 | ages 6 and up

Kids were drawn to this toy repeatedly during the test, due to its outer-space theme — and lights and sounds to simulate takeoff. Its maintenance platform slides up and down for a full inspection prior to launch, and there’s even a repair robot to assist with repairs.

Downside: It comes with a lot of little pieces that could easily get lost.

Where to buy: Hub Hobby

DR. EUREKA $19.95 | 8 and up The only thing better than magnets? Shiny, tiny balls! And this game comes with eight red, eight green, eight purple, plus 12 test tubes for shuffling them around. This game not only teaches logic and sequencing, but also dexterity. If you can create the test-tube combinations on the challenge card first — without touching the balls by hand — you win the game. Also, it’s super-fun for parents, too.

Downside: It would be easy to lose the balls, and you need them all if you have four players.

Where to buy: Hub Hobby

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD GAME $24.99 | ages 4 and up Kids get to help Little Red find the right path to Grandma’s house with this game, using a series of 48 challenge cards, accompanied by a gorgeous miniature picture book.

Downside: None Where to buy: amazon.com

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

SHOP AROUND! ⊲⊲ABC Toy Zone, Burnsville, Chanhassen, Rochester, abctoyzone.com ⊲⊲Air Traffic Kites and Games, six Twin Cities locations, including MOA, airtrafficonline.com ⊲⊲Autism Shop, autismshop.com (This store is now online only.) ⊲⊲BuyBuy Baby, Woodbury, buybuybaby.com ⊲⊲Choo Choo Bob’s Train Store, St. Paul, choochoobobs.com/store

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⊲⊲Creative Kidstuff, seven Twin Cities locations, including MOA, creativekidstuff.com ⊲⊲Doodletown Toys, Big Lake, online and craft shows only, doodletowntoys.com ⊲⊲Electric Fetus, Minneapolis, electricfetus.com ⊲⊲Games by James, six locations, including MOA, gamesbyjames.com ⊲⊲Hub Hobby, Richfield and Little Canada, hubhobby.com ⊲⊲Kiddywampus, Hopkins, kiddywampus.com ⊲⊲Lakeshore Learning Store, St. Louis Park and Maplewood, lakeshorelearning.com ⊲⊲Lark Toys, Kellogg, larktoys.com ⊲⊲Mall of America, Bloomington: Specialty toy stores include The LEGO Store, American Girl, Build-A-Bear Workshop, Nickelodeon Store, Disney Store, Marbles: The Brain Store, and JM Cremp’s Adventure Store. ⊲⊲MindWare, Roseville, mindware.com ⊲⊲Moss Envy, Minneapolis, mossenvy.com ⊲⊲Pacifier, four Twin Cities locations, pacifier.me ⊲⊲Mischief Toys & Gifts, St. Paul, mischieftoy.com ⊲⊲Something Safari, Excelsior, somethingsafari.com ⊲⊲Teeny Bee Boutique, St. Paul, shopteenybee.com.

Don’t see your favorite local store here?

Tell us about it: Write us at editor@mnparent.com.

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o give t e g r u l you sp re Should ids what they’ y your k r this holida dying fo n? Maybe. seaso lso strive for can a these u o y t u B with balance trategies. s simple

The

it toy

By Abbie Burgess

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

S

ometimes the toys children want the most are the very ones that cause parents uncertainty — not just about our budgets, but also our values.

Items that top a kid’s wish list can present parents with a multitude of toy-buying dilemmas.

It could be a doll that each of your child’s friends has, but comes with a hefty price tag. Or maybe it’s a tablet or phone: Are you ready for that? Are your kids?

Is the It Toy this year even age appropriate for your kid? Does your kid want it only because it’s popular? How much is too much to spend on a toy that might be a quickly passing fad? And what kind of precedent will you set for future years if you cave this year?

The truth is, you may never know the “right” answers. But here are some strategies to consider when making your toy-buying decisions.

Delaying gratification To Willmar mom Shanna Gebhard, the season’s It Toy is whichever one her 6-year-old daughter, Peyton, “really, really wants.”

Right now, more affordable Shopkins toys and Poppit clay kits top Peyton’s list.

But when Peyton’s most desired It Toy was a set of American Girl Bitty Twins dolls, she didn’t stop talking about it for a whole year, Gebhard said. Peyton spent hours looking through the catalog, carried it around the house with her and picked names for the twins.

Her mom, after delaying her daughter’s gratification for a year, figured it would be worth the splurge on the $125 set of dolls.

She was right: Bitty Twins Charlotte and Loretta go almost everywhere with Peyton. And they encourage imaginative play that doesn’t involve screen time.

“There is so much you can do besides a toy under the Christmas tree. We live in such an amazing area for things for families to do.”

— Shanna Gebhard of Willmar

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The it toy

Gianna Kordatzky — a New Brighton mom of four, who co-authors a website featuring free and low-cost family-activity ideas (Family Fun Twin Cities) — found herself in a similar situation, but handled it a bit differently.

When her two daughters wanted American Girl dolls at the same time, she was in for double sticker shock.

She told the girls they could have the dolls if they pitched in, too.

After about a year of saving their birthday and Christmas money, they made their purchases with Mom and Dad covering the remaining cost.

Kordatzky recommends the dolls for kids at an age — about 7 or 8 — when they're are young enough to engage in lots of imaginative play, but also old enough to appreciate earning money for a big toy purchase.

Cultivating imagination Brenda Schaeffer, a licensed psychologist in Minneapolis who has worked with many local children and families, is a proponent of gifts that help children be artistic and imaginative. She said between the ages of 3 and 7, children are highly creative and it’s one of the most important aspects of their development.

Kordatzky favors giving outdoor toys for staying active such as roller blades and bikes. She also keeps her kids stocked with art supplies.

“Who doesn’t love getting a new box of crayons?” she said.

“Even I think that’s cool.”

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

↑↑New Brighton sisters Brin and Maya Kordatzky, ages 9 and 11, saved their birthday and Christmas money to help pay for their beloved dolls.

Photos by Abbie Burgess

Many popular toys are heavy on technology. Schaeffer said it’s OK to give that type of It Toy, but balance it with other toys that encourage more imagination.

Gebhard won’t buy anything electronic for Peyton, not wanting to add to the overload of screen time she gets from cartoons and the iPads she uses at school to learn to read.

In addition to the brand-name toys in her collection, her daughter has a tiger and giraffe made of wood and rope, which Gebhard describes as “the most primitive looking toy animals I’ve ever seen.”

Despite their rudimentary aesthetic, the toys are some of Peyton’s favorites.

“Sometimes the simplest toys make the best toys, because then their imagination kicks in,” Gebhard said. For Peyton’s animal toys, the bathtub becomes a watering hole, the backyard a savannah.

“She’s seen The Lion King a few too many times,” Gebhard said.

Giving experiences Beyond toys that foster the imaginative qualities in children, families are turning to giving experiences instead of tangible gifts. Gebhard attributes her daughter’s creative play abilities to the theater performances they’ve attended together since Peyton was a baby.

Last year, attending her first ballet performance was one of her favorite Christmas gifts.

“There is so much you can do besides a toy under the Christmas tree,” Gebhard said. “We live in such an amazing area for things for families to do.”

Kordatzky agrees. The It Toy in her house right now is LEGO sets of all kinds, but she offers her children the choice between a nice gift like a large LEGO set or a fun outing such as the Minnesota Zoo. One benefit to giving experiences isn’t having quite so many toys cluttering the playroom or needing to be thrown away when they break. With four kids, that’s especially helpful.

“We have Hot Wheels tracks all over and I don’t know how to control it!” she said.

Kordatzky also holds back on toys because the children’s grandma is a generous gift giver.

“We want our kids to be grateful for what they have, and not expect things or think they deserve them,” she said.

↑↑Dane and Omri Kordatzky, ages 8 and 6, play with PlayMobil action figures and LEGOs in their New Brighton home. Though the toys — high-end must-have “It Toys” — weren’t cheap, they’re proven to be lasting playthings that encourage imaginative play.

←←Shanna Gebhard’s 6-year-old daughter, Peyton, asked for a set of American Girl Bitty Twins dolls for a year before her mother agreed to take the plunge.

Instilling gratitude, too In a season that seems to revolve around kids’ lengthy wish lists, it’s never too early to learn about gratitude and giving to others.

“The concept of giving and sharing is really important, because children can be very self-centered. Especially today they need to learn the values of caring for others,” Schaeffer said.

There are many parents now involving their children in volunteering with nonprofit organizations, Schaeffer said, and that’s one way to help children to learn the pleasure of giving.

Acts of kindness needn’t be done solely through an organization, however. A person in need might be closer than you think.

“There is a lot of loneliness around the holidays,” she said.

“Parents should really look around and see if there are people in their lives like an elder — or a child who isn’t likely to get one or many gifts.”

When children give presents to family, parents can encourage gifts that are handmade and heartfelt. Schaeffer fondly remembers her own grown children once writing her notes to be used as coupons for things such as breakfast in bed.

It’s one more way to teach children that gifts are from the heart and aren’t always physical objects.

As with many things, holiday gifting is all about balance.

“I personally love gift giving,” Schaeffer said. “It’s OK to spoil a child over the holidays, as long as they know it’s just once a year.”

Abbie Burgess is a Twin Cities freelance writer and lifestyle blogger at thepinkpaperdoll.com.

mnparent.com • November 2016

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Out & About NOVEMBER

mnparent.com/calendar

A Beautiful Planet ⊲⊲Made in cooperation with NASA, this Omnitheater film features stunning footage of our magnificent blue planet — and the effects humanity has had on it over time — captured by the astronauts aboard the International Space Station. Directed by acclaimed filmmaker Toni Myers and narrated by actress Jennifer Lawrence.

When: Ongoing Where: Science Museum of Minnesota, St. Paul Cost: Film tickets cost $9.95 for adults and $8.95 for ages 4–12 and 60 and older.

Info: smm.org

ONGOING

Sundays at Landmark

MythBusters: The Explosive Exhibition

⊲⊲This annual fall-to-spring series of mostly free cultural and arts events is designed to entertain, enrich and educate all ages.

⊲⊲Does toast always land butter-side down? Does running in the rain get you less wet than walking through it? Can you really make a canoe out of duct tape? Spend a day as a MythBuster at this traveling exhibit, inspired by the Discovery Channel series.

When: Through Jan. 15 Where: Mall of America, Bloomington Cost: $11.99–$15.99 Info: mallofamerica.com

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When: Events start at 1 p.m. and are free, except where noted: Oct. 30 (Great Pumpkin Festival); 4 p.m.

Nov. 13 (Saint Martin’s Day); Dec. 11 (Santa’s Workshop); 1 and 3:30 p.m. Jan. 8 (Minnesota Boychoir); 3 p.m. Jan. 29 (Saint Paul Civic Symphony); Feb. 19 (Carpathian Celebration, $4–$6); 11 a.m. March 19 (Day of Dance, $6); 11 a.m. April 1 (Scottish Ramble, $6); 3 p.m. May 7 (Rose Ensemble); and May 14 (Saint

Paul Civic Symphony Mother’s Day Concert).

Where: Landmark Center, St. Paul Cost: Various Info: landmarkcenter.org

Spookley the Square Pumpkin ⊲⊲Filled with music and memorable characters, this all-ages puppetry extravaganza — based on the book, The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin — follows Spookley, who faces relentless teasing from all the other round pumpkins. When Spookley’s boisterous spiders friends (Edgar, Allen and Poe) try mnparent.com • November 2016

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to convince him to run for the Pick of the Patch contest, he isn’t sure he should dare to be square.

When: Through Oct. 30 Where: Stages Theatre Company, Hopkins Cost: $12–$16 Info: stagestheatre.org

Mindbender Mansion ⊲⊲Test your brain power and problemsolving skills like never before in a brand-new exhibition of brainteasers and puzzles.

When: Ongoing Where: Science Museum of Minnesota, St. Paul Cost: This exhibit is included in regular museum admission, which costs — as of Nov. 1 — $18.95 for adults and $12.95 for ages 4–12 and 60 and older.

Info: smm.org

When: 1–3 p.m. Oct. 30 Where: Landmark Center, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: landmarkcenter.org

Halloween Hodgepodge ⊲⊲Activities geared toward ages 18 months to 12 years at this beloved indoor event include face painting, carnival games and inflatables, a family dance and trick or treating.

When: 3–7 p.m. Oct. 30 Where: Eagan Community Center Cost: Ages 18 months to 12 years require a ticket — $5 in advance, $6 at the door with a food donations item. Adults and younger children can attend for free with a food donation item.

Info: cityofeagan.com

NOV. 5

Jack Brass Band OCT. 29–30

ZooBoo ⊲⊲Celebrate Halloween at the Como Zoo at a non-scary, family-friendly event with live entertainment, animal visitors and craft projects, all geared toward ages 3 to 8 as part of an annual fund-raiser.

When: 4:30–7:30 p.m. Oct. 29–30 Where: Como Park Zoo and Conservatory, St. Paul Cost: $6 to $7, plus fees at Eventbrite.com Info: comozooconservatory.org

OCT. 30

Great Pumpkin Halloween Festival ⊲⊲This annual event offers all the fun of Halloween without the fright, featuring staff dressed as costumed characters, storytelling, music, crafts, face painting, treats, a costume parade with free candy and a special performance by The Teddy Bear Band.

⊲⊲Join in the ongoing MacPhail Free Family Music Series for ages 8 and younger with a live musical performance, featuring New Orleans-style brass tunes.

When: 10 a.m.–noon Nov. 5 Where: MacPhail Center for Music, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: macphail.org

NOV. 5–FEB. 25

Night Trains ⊲⊲See dozens of model railroads decorated with snow and holiday lights at the Twin City Model Railroad Museum’s new location in St. Paul’s Midway neighborhood.

When: 6–9 p.m. Saturdays Nov. 5– Feb. 25. Santa will visit on Dec. 17.

Where: Twin City Model Railroad Museum, 668 Transfer Road, Suite 8, St. Paul Cost: Admission is $15 for ages 5 and older.

Info: tcmrm.org mnparent.com • November 2016

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Out & About NOV. 8–JAN. 8

Cinderella ⊲⊲Back-by-popular-demand, this rambunctious musical — created

by Minneapolis’ own Children’s Theatre Company — tells the heartwarming, classic story of Cinderella’s transformation, including holiday carols, updated pop-culture references, physical comedy, audience participation and silly gags, plus grand sets and lavish costuming.

When: Nov. 8–Jan. 8 Where: Children’s Theatre Company, Minneapolis Cost: Tickets start at $15.

Info: childrenstheatre.org

NOV. 11

Project STEAM ⊲⊲Join in an evening of hands-on family activities for toddlers, preschoolers and their parents, including take-home resources about science, technology, engineering, art and math.

When: Nov. 11. Arrive at 5 p.m. for a meal, followed by activities at 5:45 p.m.

Where: Calvary Lutheran Church, Golden Valley Cost: Activities are free. Meals cost $5 per person or $15 per family.

Info: Register at calvary.org/steam.

NOV. 12

Mother-Daughter Event ⊲⊲Ages 8 to 13 are invited to this inaugural Girls Are Powerful event designed to help girls and their moms — or caregivers — celebrate their strength, power and relationships.

When: 10 a.m.–noon Nov. 12 Where: Hilton Minneapolis,

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November 2016 • mnparent.com

Cardboard Gallery ⊲⊲Get creative with cardboard with more than 3,500 square feet of work space filled with cardboard boxes of all shapes and sizes, plus an assortment of tools and connectors for making forts, rocket ships, creatures, mazes and more.

When: Through Jan. 1 Where: Science Museum of Minnesota, St. Paul Cost: This exhibit is included in regular museum admission, which costs — as of Nov. 1 — $18.95 for adults and $12.95 for ages 4–12 and 60 and older.

Info: smm.org

Bloomington Cost: $30 for mother/daughter, $10 for additional guests Info: girlsarepowerful.com

NOV. 13–DEC. 23

Kids in the Castle ⊲⊲Visit the historic Turnblad Mansion with the kids for a variety of holiday events, seasonal displays and children’s activities.

When: Celebrations of Light (Nov. 13), Let’s Talk Turkey (Nov. 18), Gingerbread House Workshop (Nov. 25), Making Traditions (Nov. 26), Julgladje (Nov. 26–27), Julmarknad/ Christmas Market (Dec. 3–4), Lucia’s Legend (Dec. 9), Tiny Tomtes (Dec. 16–17), Lucia Celebration (Dec. 10), Lucia in the Mansion (Dec. 13), Neighborhood Holiday Open House

(Dec. 14), Winter Solstice (Dec. 21) and Little Christmas Eve/Lilla Julafton (Dec. 23) Where: American Swedish Institute, Minneapolis Cost: Various. Regular museum admission is $9 for adults, $7 for seniors, $5 for ages 6–18 and free for ages 5 and younger.

Info: asimn.org

NOV. 15–DEC. 31

Reluctant Dragon ⊲⊲In this beloved old story, a young boy befriends a poetry-loving dragon living in the hills above his home. When the townsfolk send for St. George to slay the dragon, the boy needs to come up with a clever plan to save his friend and convince the town to accept him.

When: Nov. 15–Dec. 31

Out & About When: 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Nov. 19 Where: Midtown Global Market, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: doitgreen.org

NOV. 22–JAN. 1

Holiday Lights in the Park ⊲⊲View more than 60 holiday light sculptures and animated displays as you drive through Phalen Park.

Ballet Tuesdays ⊲⊲Take in a ballet performance on the second Tuesday of each month (the first Tuesday of November), courtesy of Saint Paul Ballet students and company members, offering excerpts from productions such as The Nutcracker and the company’s diverse repertoire. Children are invited to wear their dance shoes and tutus and to practice techniques demonstrated by the dancers. Bring a lunch to eat during the show or stop by Anita’s Café at Landmark Center.

When: 1 p.m. Nov. 1, Dec. 6, Jan. 10, Feb. 7, March 14, April 11 and May 9. The ballet will also perform at the Mall of America at 10 and 11 a.m. on Nov. 22, Feb. 7 and April 25.

Where: Landmark Center, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: spballet.org or landmarkcenter.org

Where: Old Log Theatre, Excelsior Cost: Tickets start at $14.

Info: oldlog.com

NOV. 18–DEC. 28

Rudolph: The Musical ⊲⊲Rudolph and friends are back for an encore production of this all-ages audience favorite, based on the classic television special by Rankin and Bass.

When: Nov. 18–Dec. 28 Where: Stages Theatre Company, Hopkins

Cost: $18–$25 Info: stagestheatre.org

When: 5–10 p.m. Nov. 22–Jan. 1 Where: 1615 Phalen Drive E., St. Paul Cost: $10 per car at the gate ($8 online) Info: lightsinthepark.org

DEC. 2–18

The Littlest Angel ⊲⊲This all-ages musical follows the adventures and misadventures of a little angel who creates one disaster after another after he gets to heaven.

When: Dec. 2–18 Where: Youth Performance Company, Minneapolis Cost: Tickets start at $5.

Info: youthperformanceco.org

DEC. 10–11 NOV. 19

Green Gifts Fair ⊲⊲Shop among 80-plus local, ecofriendly artists and businesses at Do It Green Minnesota’s 11th-annual gifts fair.

Plus enjoy holiday food samples, kids’ activities, prizes and many green living demos. Other highlights include a photo booth, a children’s nature area and a puppet show by Heart of the Beast.

Monster Jam ⊲⊲See custom-designed machines — with 66-inch-high tires — reach speeds of up to 100 miles per hour and fly up to 130 feet.

When: Dec. 10–11 Where: U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis Cost: Tickets start at $15.

Info: monsterjam.com mnparent.com • November 2016

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CHILDCARE/EDUCATION

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FROM OUR READERS

TOP CHEFS

Our Minnesota Parent fans love to cook and so do their kids. Check out their latest photos of their culinary stars!

DaMaya, 3, Bloomington Eli, 1½, and Emma, 4, Minneapolis

Evy, 6, Woodbury

Benjamin, 2, Minneapolis

Holly, 5, Mounds View

Brody, 4, New Brighton

Nils, 9, Crystal

Want to see your kid on this page? Send photos with your child’s first/last name, age and city to editor@mnparent.com.

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November 2016 • mnparent.com