Mindful Magazine April 2023 - How to Free Your Body

MINDFULNESS • THE JOYFUL MOVEMENT ISSUE

Free Your Body HOW TO

Release resistance, trust yourself, and find effortless flow T H E SCI E N CE O F WO N D E R How experiencing awe helps ease grief and anxiety

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PR AC T I CE S FO R CU LT I VAT I N G PR E SE N CE SH I F T YO U R M I N D FRO M CR I SI S TO C A LM

APRIL 2023 mindful.org

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CONTENTS THE JOYFUL MOVEMENT ISSUE

10 MEDITATIONS FOR CULTIVATING PRESENCE 13 Listen from the Heart 19 Reduce Reactivity 21 Juice Up the Joy 42 Let Wisdom Arise 46 Always Choose You 50 Connect With Your Brave Heart 52 Rest in Nature 53 Breathe Into Intensity 54 Ease Into Sleep

PHOTO BY JAMO IMAGES / ADOBE STOCK. COVER PHOTO BY ALAN SHAPIRO / STOCKSY

66 Take an Awe Walk

A World of Wonder

Awe opens our minds to the truth that each of us is part of something much larger than ourselves, writes Dacher Keltner—and the emerging science of awe shows how this universal human emotion can bring healing to our hearts and our world.

p.56 April 2023 mindful 1

contents

The Space In Between Paying close attention isn’t always a matter of life or death, writes Stephanie Domet—but when we can bring exactly what we’re experiencing into focus, we might surprise ourselves with what’s revealed.

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Make Your Move We are embodied beings, but we often tend to live “up in our heads.” Six mindful movement experts invite us to come home to the body, get curious about what we find there, and let it nourish us from the inside out.

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Shift Your Mind from Crisis to Calm

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How to Free Your Body Release Resistance, Trust Yourself, and Find Effortless Flow

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The Science of Wonder How Experiencing Awe Helps Ease Grief and Anxiety

STORIES

16 Living

Where’s the Fire?

20 Inner Wisdom

For the Joy of It

22 Health

Effortless Flow

26 Brain Science

The Heart of a Leader EVERY ISSUE

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The Power of Awe Experiencing awe can help quiet our inner critic, reduce stress, and expand our sense of connection. Dacher Keltner reveals how he turned to awe during a time of deep grief, and what he uncovered in the process.

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4 From the Editor 7 In Your Words 8 Top of Mind 12 Mindful–Mindless 68 Bookmark This 72 Point of View with Barry Boyce

VOLUME ELEVEN, NUMBER 1, Mindful (ISSN 2169-5733, USPS 010-500) is published bimonthly for $29.95 per year USA, $39.95 Canada & $49.95 (US) international, by Mindful Communications & Such, PBC, 515 N State Street, Suite 300, Chicago IL. 60654 USA. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Mindful, PO Box 257, Lincolnshire, IL 60069-0257. Canada Post Publication Mail Agreement #42704514. CANADIAN POSTMASTER: Send undeliverable copies to Mindful, 5765 May St, Halifax, NS B3K 1R6 CANADA. Printed in U.S.A. © 2023 Mindful Communications & Such, PBC. All rights reserved.

PHOTOGRAPH BY YSPBQH14 / ADOBE STOCK , ILLUSTRATION BY AICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK, SPENCER CREELMAN

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On the Cover

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from the editor

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Heather Hurlock is the editor-in-chief of Mindful magazine and mindful.org. She’s a longtime editor, musician, and meditator with deep roots in service journalism. Connect with Heather at heather.hurlock@mindful.org.

4 mindful April 2023

This is the fourteenth time I’ve had the pleasure of writing a letter to you all. The very first time was for the Winter 2020 issue, during the height of the pandemic when we weren’t sure what the future might hold. I remember writing these words: “There is always compassionate space available to you, in every moment. Space to pause. Space to breathe. Space to reclaim your attention. To communicate with wisdom and skill. To forgive yourself and others. And to remember that joy is your birthright.”

Joy is your birthright! Yes! And…sometimes, especially when the world seems unfair or downright painful, the fact that joy is always an option makes me quite angry.

What right does joy have to show up now?, my grumpiest self mutters.

If I’m paying attention at all, this is exactly when I remember that I’m more than just my pain, my grief, and my thoughts. I breathe and invite my discomfort in a little closer—make sure it doesn’t lash out at others. I give it some care. Some love. Some time.

Lately, I’ve been taking my grumpy self (along with my girls and their friends) to the roller rink and skating around in circles to Salt-n-Pepa and show tunes (our local rink has a fantastic DJ). These weekend excursions have connected me to joy in a whole new way. It’s ridiculous how much fun I’m having. And how much gratitude wells up during these few hours on a Sunday afternoon. Gratitude for my kids when I hear them laughing with their friends. Gratitude for my body, which is strong enough to hold me up still. For my knees, withstanding the pressure of endless left turns even though I’ve been sitting at my computer all week. For the community of parents who show up for time with their kiddos. Gratitude. Gratitude, joy, and movement.

This new issue of Mindful magazine is dedicated to joyful movement. Not just the joy of moving our bodies—we’re celebrating how our practice moves with us throughout our lives, through pain and difficulty, through moments of spectacular and ordinary wonder. How it ebbs and flows, blooms and blossoms. Our lovely team of editors and designers curated stories in these pages to remind you that mindfulness begins and ends in the body, not the mind.

I hope you never forget that joy is your birthright. And if you do forget, or if your anger or pain feel closer than the possibility of joy, may you remember to seek out tiny moments of everyday wonder and let them fill your heart with gratitude for this beautiful life.

With all my love,

PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE ROSEN

Joy and Pain

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in your words

Embodying the PRACTICE

↓ @betterstories.in reminds us that we are all different, so let's accept one another and grow together.

Mindful readers share about how they relate to their bodies and offer some sage advice.

Describe your relationship with your body.

What about your body do you find challenging?

My relationship with my body has evolved over the years. I accept the changes such as wrinkles and gray hair more easily. I obsess less with the need to always "look" good and accept that I am fine at this moment.

I’m epileptic.

Varsha D.

umbersperspective Migraines. msibrahim2020 Working on my self-esteem and letting go of fear.

Weight.

Tanaya C. I treat my body as my temple, careful to watch what I feed it, understanding that food is fuel. My body also signals using aches, pains, and sometimes inflammation when my mental health is struggling or when I am stressed.

What makes you feel strong?

sageholisticwellness

msibrahim2020

That shit is complicated.

My belief in myself!

healthyself.coach

everthrive

My problem-solving skills.

Movement.

Next Question…

What does true leadership look like to you?

Send an email to yourwords@mindful.org and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

The gym.

What advice would you give to a friend who’s being hard on themselves?

You are loved and a gift to everyone the way you are. littlebossvm

terinaparmenter

littlebossvm

gratefulkev1964

el_mundo_de_ruxi

rebuildingtracy

It makes me feel like I am home so I try to improve my conversations with my body every day.

Feeling calm.

Every day is a new opportunity.

Don’t beat yourself up! Celebrate the things you can do. terinaparmenter Find your wow. everthrive Go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. gratefulkev1964 I would point out all the things their body can do. msibrahim2020

→ @mindfuljunkie (Gina Rollo White) snapped a selfie with her guided meditation featured in the December issue of Mindful!

↑ @colormehappii shares the powerful reminder that it's OK to take things at our own pace.

top of mind

and refugees is very rewarding,” he wrote. “Being proud of our stories truly changes the world.”

TOP OF

mind Keep up with the latest in the world of mindfulness.

A GIFT OF HEALING Singer-songwriter Umi merged music and meditation in a December tour promoting her new album

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Forest in the City and donated $2 from every ticket to support WholeSchool Mindfulness, an organization that helps implement and fund the role

of Mindfulness Directors in US schools. “Growing up and being able to go to a school where I was taught mindfulness has very much influenced the person I am now,” Umi says, “and I wish for more children to be gifted that healing.”

PRIDE IN OUR STORIES The Hadhad family fled war-torn Syria and settled in Nova Scotia in 2016. Years earlier, their Damascus chocolate factory had been bombed.

The family opened a new chocolate factory in Antigonish, and it succeeded so well that a movie, Peace

By Chocolate, was made about their story. Yet the story’s ongoing.

Recently on a plane, Tareq Hadhad was chatting

with a man who expressed antiimmigrant views.

During their flight, however, the man proceeded to watch Peace

by Chocolate— and became engrossed in the family’s journey.

At the end, he was astonished to recognize Hadhad as one of the “characters” from the film. Tareq related the whole event on Facebook.

“Knowing that my new friend left the plane with a different perspective about immigrants

Colonel Mark Vande Hai is an astronaut, with two space flights and a total of 523 days in orbit under his belt. He’s also a meditator.

Kripalu hosted a fascinating online conversation with Vande Hai, interviewed

by Micah Mortali, author of Rewilding: Meditations, Practices, and Skills for Awakening in Nature, a book Vande Hai says influenced his practice during his second flight.

He recalls how he woke early each morning and sat in the domed window of the space station, gazing into the inconceivable vastness. Meditating, he says, supported his sense of well-being on the demanding journey. “Being present made me less worried about how many days I had left on the space station,” says Vande Hai. “My job was to experience it and soak it all in.”

PHOTOGRAPH BY NASA, MATESE FIELDS / UNSPLASH

INNER PRESENCE, OUTER SPACE

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PHOTOGRAPH BY SAMSUNG UK / UNSPLASH, ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

A PLEASURE TO READ When Better Sex Through Mindfulness came out in 2018, Dr. Lori Brotto began hearing from readers. “People were saying, ‘okay, now, how do I do this? Is there a group or online space I can access?’”

The answer, Brotto realized, was no. So she created one.

The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook walks readers through the same eight-week group intervention Brotto used in her research.

While the original book dealt with sexual health and low desire in women, the workbook includes gender diverse folks, men, and those with pain, too. Recorded

practices are available for free on loribrotto.com

GATHERINGS OF CARE A new practice community facilitated by mindfulness teachers Rashid Hughes and Caverly Morgan aims to explore practices of individual and collective liberation.

The bi-monthly gatherings include guest speakers and learning through meditation, discussion, and journaling—while working directly with Hughes and Morgan. According to Caverly Morgan’s website, the four months of gatherings will be approached as “an opportunity to create a model for the enlightened society we seek, one that hinges on mutual responsibility and collective care.”

LEARN ABOUT COMPASSION The recently formed Global Compassion Coalition, headed by many top compassion experts, seeks to bring compassion into every area of society. For one, they’re compiling a free digital library of compassion research, exploring its origins, cultivation, and transformative power.

Matt Hawkins, the GCC’s Chief Communication Officer, notes that the library will offer an up-to-date scientific resource for academics, coaches, and trainers; equally, it will provide knowledge and advice for policy-makers, business leaders, and activists interested in harnessing compassion in their work.

ACTS OF kindness

by AVA WHITNEY-COULTER

CLEAN SCENE

When Liam Wildish moved to Maidstone, England, he had to build a new customer base from scratch for his windowwashing business Clean Scene. After six weeks of successful networking thanks to wordof-mouth recommendations and positive feedback from locals, he began washing the road signs to thank the community and make it safer for residents.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER

A deaf couple was happily surprised when they arrived for their reservation at Tatsu Dallas, a high-end sushi restaurant, to find

that the head chef had learned ASL to accommodate them. A local food writer and sister to one of the guests explained on Twitter that the restaurant is known for its intimate tasting menu experience where much of the menu is explained vocally by the chef.

OUTSIDE THE BOX

To make her town more accessible and to highlight the barriers faced by wheelchair users, Rita Ebel builds colorful ramps made of Lego. Ebel has used a wheelchair for 25 years, and she and her husband rely on Lego donations for their efforts. For others interested in re-purposing their Lego, the couple will happily send the building instructions.

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Practical and Spiritual Wisdom

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Research News

by B. GRACE BULLOCK

Research gathered from Georgetown Medical Center, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and University of St. Andrews

“In this exceptional book, Thomas M. Sterner brilliantly illuminates and illustrates how to gain mastery over your thoughts and therefore over your emotions, your perceptions, and your lived experiences.”

— SUZANNE EDER, author of What You Want Wants You

“To me, Hugh Prather speaks the language of spiritual transformation. I love this man — and all that he writes.”

— WAYNE DYER, author of You’ll See It When You Believe It

newworldlibrary.com | Also available as ebooks

ANXIETY TAMER Mindfulness meditation may reduce anxiety symptoms as effectively as a common medication, research out of Georgetown Medical Center finds. In the study, 276 adults diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but not yet treated were randomly assigned to either a mindfulness group or a medication group.

Mindfulness group participants attended an eight-week MindfulnessBased Stress Reduction course that required 45 minutes of daily meditation and one 2.5-hour class per week. Those in the medication

10 mindful April 2023

group received 10 to 20 mg of escitalopram, a generic form of Lexapro commonly used to treat anxiety and depression.

208 individuals (102 in the mindfulness group, 106 in the medication group) completed the study. After eight weeks, both groups reported a comparable decline in anxiety symptoms. While further studies are needed, researchers hope that this will give adults managing anxiety alternative treatment options in addition to medication and psychotherapy.

NEW PERSPECTIVES A pilot study led by researchers at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland explored whether online mindfulness instruction

might benefit 55 university students who had a history of depression, but were not currently experiencing depressive symptoms.

Individuals were assigned to either a mindfulness group or a waitlist control group and completed a mental health assessment prior to beginning the program, and again about 10 weeks later. Both groups received information regarding mental health resources on campus and in their communities.

The mindfulness group was asked to participate in a self-guided eightweek, web-based MindfulnessBased Stress Reduction program. Content included sitting meditation, yoga, working with

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difficult emotions, guided visualization, and loving-kindness meditation. In addition to formal meditation, students were encouraged to practice mindfulness during their daily activities.

People experiencing depression often report feeling more negative emotions and fewer positive emotions when thinking about

the event. Control group members received no instruction during the study and were given access to the mindfulness program after completing the follow-up assessment.

After eight weeks members of the mindfulness group reported an increased ability to regulate their emotions and reappraise past

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

After eight weeks, the meditation group and the medication group reported comparable declines in anxiety symptoms.

the past. To see if the program affected how they related to prior experiences, the mindfulness group also recorded their autobiographical memories in a structured diary for up to five days. They then immediately rated their use of the emotion regulation strategies they’d used (such as reappraisal, reflection, and non-reactivity) while recalling

events, and less reactivity. Those who engaged in the mindfulness program for at least four weeks also noted greater use of emotion regulation skills and fewer symptoms of depression compared to the control group. Although these findings are encouraging, many students in the mindfulness group had little interaction with the program, suggesting that time-intensive

interventions may not be feasible for college students.

RESILIENT KIDS Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology examined whether a higher level of dispositional mindfulness is linked to lower levels of stress, anxiety, depression and negative mood, and fewer COVID-19 related impacts.

They asked 163 children between the ages of 8 and 10 to respond to questions that were read aloud to them over a Zoom call about their mental health and well-being.

Results showed that greater child mindfulness was correlated with fewer symptoms of mental health challenges, suggesting that a mindful disposition may buffer children from negative pandemic-related emotional impacts.

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MINDFUL OR MINDLESS? Our take on who’s paying attention and who’s not

O O

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Thanks to its updated MerriamWebster dictionary, the classic language-lover’s game Scrabble just got kinder. The new edition adds many contemporary terms (like adulting, skeezy, and embiggen) while omitting hundreds of racial, ethnic, and otherwise offensive words from play.

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by AMBER TUCKER

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In a win for climate responsibility and protecting residents’ health, Los Angeles City Council voted unanimously to ban new oil and gas wells in the city. The plan also commits to closing the over 700 active wells within 20 years and supporting oil industry workers in transitioning to renewablesector jobs.

MINDFUL

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Can laundry switch from a tedious task to a calming ritual?

Advertising their new range of washing machines, Samsung recently offered “hacks” for being mindfully present while you do laundry—the most literal example of “wellness washing” we’ve seen yet.

In Miami Beach, the art installation ATM Leaderboard went viral for displaying people’s account balances—and a photo of them—when they inserted their bank card. Unconcerned about privacy, a stream of moneyed individuals have claimed the “high score.” At time of writing, the “leader” boasts $9.5 million.

Everyone loves a gift card—unfortunately, including fraudsters. In one case, a British Columbia man posted a photo online with his $700 worth of Walmart gift cards, with bar codes visible. When he went to use the cards weeks later, they had been drained, leaving only $0.27.

MINDLESS

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

We don’t usually call nonhuman animals mindless, but we’re making an exception for the five wild turkeys that have become too habituated to humans in Woburn, MA. The top turkey, Kevin, likes to “amp up” the female turkeys so they chase people and try to pop their car tires, one resident told The Guardian.

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BEGINNER’S MIND T IM E L E S S • AU T HE N T I C • T R A NSF OR M AT I ONA L

Q

During conversations, I often zone out and don’t really hear what the other person is saying. How can I be more attentive to the person in front of me?

As a practicing cardiologist my most valuable tool is my ability to maintain mindful awareness throughout each interaction. If I miss an important detail someone is sharing, it could mean the difference between disconnection or trust, and between illness or health. Life is no different. When we practice giving others our full attention, we strengthen bonds and make new discoveries.

Here are three practices for staying grounded, present, and connected in conversation:

This engaging and thoughtprovoking adventure of the life of a little girl’s favorite crayon can also help kids and families cope with change, the challenges of growing up, and even loss as this book touches on themes like cycles, impermanence, and connection. For ages 4–8.

A

1 Begin with intention. Recall your intentions for any interaction. These might be to alleviate someone’s suffering or fear, to give them space to share what’s most important, or to live into your own purpose as a friend or healing influence.

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY JONATHAN FISHER

2 Be here now. Ground yourself physically, becoming aware of how your body feels. Accept and embrace whatever sensations may be present. Use the calming and settling power of the outbreath to relax into the dialogue.

3 Keep returning to this gift of being present.

Recognize that the mind’s tendency to wander might get in the way of hearing what this person has to say. Notice when your mind leaves “the now” and heads back in time or into the future. Gently and firmly bring your attention back.

Repeat as needed.

Jonathan Fisher is a Harvard-trained physician with over 20 years of clinical experience.

He is a practicing cardiologist, and certified mindfulness meditation teacher. His personal mission is to help others train the mind and heal the heart.

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A one-of-a-kind children’s movement and play deck, featuring 48 cards with practices for all ability levels, to celebrate the many ways our bodies can move.

For ages 4–8.

Bring the beautiful practice of lovingkindness (metta) ( into the ritual of bedtime with adorable sloth characters that kids will delight in practicing beside.

For ages 2–5.

Follow Bu and his new friends through the park as they encounter bugs! This lively story shows kids that every living creature deserves our kindness and compassion and that we can all be everyday heroes. For ages 3–7.

SHAMBHALA.COM

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Daily Affirmations for All

From small children learning to build self-esteem to university students developing lifelong stress management skills, young people of all ages need attention and care to nurture their mental health. Here are three innovative ways young people are supported today—and by extension, encouraged to thrive.

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Care Fairs are the New Career Fairs While in the throes of studying for final exams, Penn State University students had the opportunity to drop by the Care Fair—an interactive gathering to “take a break and learn about mindfulness, stress management, and sleep,” says Erin Raupers, assistant director of Health Promotion and Wellness, on the university website. By attending, students learned wellness

strategies to carry with them throughout the school year and were also equipped with free “Manage Stress” workbooks and sleep kits.

Meet Robin the Robot A mental health robot (yes, named Robin) currently makes the rounds at children’s hospitals and geriatric facilities. The robot’s job is to roam the hallways, approaching patients who want to play games, listen to music, sing karaoke, or have a conversation. “It cognitively stimulates patients to really feel happy and comfortable again,” Peter Attalla, Director of Sales at Expper Technologies, told KTLA. Robin uses AI technology to carry out emotional interactions, and a pilot study showed that interacting with Robin increased young patients’ cheerfulness and physical appetite and reduced their stress. However, the robot does rely on some human assistance—a mental health professional is always available on the back end of the program.

PHOTOGRAPH BY LITHIUMPHOTO / ADOBESTOCK

RAISING KIDS WHO THRIVE

Charm Words—an awardwinning daily affirmations podcast for children of color— is expanding its reach with the launch of the first-ever Spanish daily affirmations podcast for children. “Spanish is the second most spoken language in the world, and Latine is the fastest growing group in the US. So, we knew we had to launch Charm Words Español to reach more children and parents,” says Wanda Reynolds, ABF Creative’s Chief Content Officer, in a press release. The new show is based on its English counterpart, offering daily, “psychologist-approved” affirmations to help kids navigate big emotions and build the foundations for self-worth and self-care.

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VOICES RISING SHAYLA OULETTE STONECHILD

Coming Into

Alignment

PHOTOGRAPH BY DENITA GLADEAU, ILLUSTRATION BY PAUCHI / ADOBESTOCK

by AVA WHITNEY-COULTER

Shayla Oulette Stonechild reluctantly made her way through Vancouver to her first ever yoga class, coaxed by a friend. Oulette Stonechild was 19 years old and skeptical, expecting that she’d be asked to do complex postures. But, there on her mat, it was her emotions that posed the challenge. “That was the first time that I couldn’t run away from any part of my identity anymore,” she says.

Oulette Stonechild is Nehiyaw Iskwew (a Plains Cree woman) from Muscowpetung Saulteaux First Nation, Treaty 4 territory in Saskatchewan, Canada.

She grew up in Medicine Hat, Alberta, in a predominantly white community and says that she didn’t really reconnect to her heritage until the age of 16, when her father took his own life. Kevin Stonechild had survived the residential school system, then the prison system, in which Indigenous people are drastically overrepresented due to centuries of systematic racism enforced by colonial systems. “I started questioning a lot about my roots and what it means to be alive and what it means to be human,” Oulette Stonechild says.

“I quickly found out that mindfulness is for everyone.

And what you practice on the mat, you also practice in the world.”

Today, Oulette Stonechild lives in Montreal and is a yoga teacher, Indigenous rights activist, TV host of APTN’s “Red Earth Uncovered,” and a part of Lululemon’s Diversity and Inclusion committee.

“When I get attached to a role I’m playing, I start to restrict and lose parts of myself,” she says. “I’m starting to detach from what I view myself as, but also the responsibilities that other people put on to me.”

“We’re still advocating for clean drinking water here in Canada. We’re still advocating for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and two-spirit people, and for our basic human needs being met”, says Oulette. “I think there’s still a lot of healing that needs to happen not only within Indigenous people but also non-Indigenous people before we can really come together.”

“Whether you’re Indigenous or not, we just went through a global pandemic, so how can we support one another and see one another as we are?” ●

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living

WHERE’S THE FIRE? Unchecked stress may lead to overwhelm, unhelpful coping, and burnout. When you learn to recognize the warning signs, you can take wise action to manage your stress—with a little kind attention, and a lot of self-compassion.

PHOTOGRAPH BY TAK KEI WONG / UNSPLASH

By Patricia Rockman, MD

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living

We are nothing if Modern life seems to offer endless moments of stress. Perhaps you wake up in the morning to the sound of your phone’s alarm blaring, sending a hit of adrenaline through your system. Then, you might get another hit as you scroll through your news feed and learn about the latest global or local disaster.

These days, it can feel as if there are threats everywhere, real or imagined, and the body and mind react accordingly in any number of ways. Your heart may speed up or you may feel sweaty, hyperfocused, or simply avoid whatever happens to be unpleasant in the moment.

We may have thought that technology would make our lives easier. But instead we are inundated with packets of data, much of it irrelevant. Facebook tells us what our long-lost friends are doing on vacation. Google reminds us of a holiday potluck we are

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Patricia Rockman MD, CCFP, FCFP, has educated healthcare providers in stress reduction, change management, CBT, and mindfulness-based practices for over 20 years. She is a cofounder of the Centre for Mindfulness Studies in Toronto, where she is also Director of Education and Clinical Services.

supposed to attend. We can endorse professionals on LinkedIn so they will endorse us. And Twitter— well, who knows what’s going on with Twitter?

Meanwhile, a device on our wrist reports that last night, we had 45 minutes of “restless sleep.” Email has become, in the words of a friend of mine, “a To-Do list that you didn’t create.”

And the plethora of apps at your fingertips that help you, say, navigate IKEA more effectively provide minimal payoff.

Our inability to step out of the information flow— such as at work where we may be required to stay plugged in or can’t seem to get away physically or psychologically from our phones at any time—has a direct effect on our health and well-being. Namely, and not surprisingly to many of us, an increase in stress reactivity.

The Three Stages of Stress There are many definitions of stress, and one is from the original father of stress research, Hans Selye: the nonspecific adaptation response of the body to any demand or problem.

He described a process of how we respond to stress called the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). It consists of three stages:

we are not problem solvers. But even too much problem solving can result in burnout.

Alarm, Resistance, and Exhaustion.

Alarm involves a number of physiological reactions—hormonal, neurological, cardiovascular, and so on—and psychological reactions, as we move into a fight, flight, or freeze response for survival.

Resistance may be viewed as the physiological and psychological attempt to adapt to and overcome the effects of the stressor.

This is all well and good if the stressor resolves. If not, the stress hormone cortisol can continue to be produced, resulting in poor sleep, increased illness, anxiety, or poor cognitive functioning.

Exhaustion may follow when a stressor becomes chronic, either from ongoing exposure or ineffectual and repeated attempts to deal with it. We become overwhelmed.

m AUDIO Explore Your Habitual Reactions If you find you often react without thinking, try this practice from Patricia Rockman to respond with greater awareness. mindful.org/ reactions

The Warning Signs of Burnout Fortunately, most of us now live without the →

April 2023 mindful 17

living

Our inability to step out of the information flow has a direct effect on our health and well-being.

threat of saber-toothed tigers—but we instead face long commutes, harsh emails, an unforgiving economy, climate change, COVID-19, and constant reminders via social media about how well others are doing in comparison to ourselves. These stressors result in the same internal reactions as when we are confronted with something life-threatening.

When we are faced with a stressor, regardless of whether it is positive or negative, it involves a change to which we must adjust: the new baby, job, relationship, death, or sickness, to name a few. Stress itself may not be the issue but rather how chronic and severe it tends to be, our relationship to it, and what we do when stress shows up. Humans must necessarily adapt psychologically, socially, biologically, and environmentally. And we are nothing if not problem solvers. But even too much

18 mindful April 2023

problem-solving can result in burnout.

And while burnout may feel inevitable for many of us in our current context, there are symptoms of burnout to watch for, according to The Maslach Burnout Inventory Manual, used by researchers as a measure for long-term occupational stress.

You may experience emotional exhaustion—a feeling of being emotionally overextended and exhausted by work or life. This is common for people in the helping professions when they reach a point where they feel no longer able to give of themselves.

Depersonalization is characterized by a negative, cynical attitude, or treating others as objects. We can begin to see others as deserving of their problems. This view is particularly tied to emotional exhaustion.

The third symptom to watch for is a sense of

low personal accomplishment, marked by feelings of incompetence, inefficiency, and inadequacy, in which you feel unhappy and dissatisfied with yourself and your performance.

This can lead to “learned helplessness” and “chronic bitterness.”

You may notice that you feel disenchanted, that you struggle to get out of bed, or to focus once you’re at work. You may have a short fuse with colleagues and clients, feel sapped of energy to follow through on projects or concentrate on one task. Your sleep and appetite may be affected.

You may use substances to avoid feelings, or experience physical symptoms like headaches and backaches. Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate burnout from depression, so getting help from a mental health professional may be in order.

All of this of course may affect both your work and personal life, making you miserable, affecting relationships, and decreasing productivity.

Small Steps to Less Stress Regardless of the cause of your stress, there are a number of steps you can take to manage it. Begin by bringing kind attention

to your experience, and extend compassion to yourself as you tend to your stress. And then consider these strategies:

1 Make a list of your personal stressors.

Susan Woods, a well-known mindfulness teacher, suggests we think of them in terms of those that are acute or chronic and internal or external. Realize that these categories may overlap.

One can have an acute or chronic problem. For example, an exacerbation of ongoing back pain due to an injury, or a stressor that may be both external and internal; an example would be a stomach pain due to a conflict you’re having with a spouse. Writing them down can help you deconstruct them, making them less overwhelming and more manageable by externalizing them. We don’t have to be them; we can simply have them. And remember: Stressors are finite.

2 Determine which stressors you can change and which ones you can’t.

Once you identify a stressor that can’t be changed, ask yourself how you might bring a change in attitude

living

or perspective to it. Can you see it differently?

Can you accept it? Can a problem become a learning opportunity or a challenge to overcome? Can a task become something that gives you a sense of accomplishment?

3 Do one small thing.

Can you come up with a small, manageable way of beginning to address the stressor or your reaction?

Make sure the action you are going to take is stated in positive and concrete terms—think about what you are going to do rather than what you won’t do. Set a time to start and to finish.

Don’t try to do too much.

Remember, small steps are key.

ILLUSTRATION BY ILLUSTRATION4STOCK224427 / VECTEEZY

4 Build a support network.

Can you identify your inner and outer resources for getting support and managing stress? For example, if you are feeling burned out from work, consider making a list of your internal resources.

What are your strengths?

Make a list of people, places, activities, or things that could be external supports.

Maybe you need an exercise buddy, a friend to vent to regularly, or do an online

Caught

search for a meetup that might fill a need.

IN IN THE THE WEB WEB

5 Monitor and write down those times when you feel even a little bit better.

How can we build and protect our inner resources, our internal supports?

Monitoring what uplifts you can reveal clues as to what your inner resources are. Maybe there are small activities you find nourishing that you’ve stopped doing, like that cappuccino and podcast you used to enjoy first thing in the morning, or simply taking a few deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed.

Remember: The breath is always with you. Start small and schedule! Trying to do too much will likely result in you not doing anything except wanting to pull the covers over your head in a state of overwhelm. Above all, try to be kind to yourself.

6 Finally, don’t forget that everything changes.

Nothing lasts. And since change is inevitable, we can remind ourselves of this and get a little breathing room if nothing else until the stress storm passes. ●

When we’re stressed, we often click into automatic and habitual reactions to what’s stressing us. Mary Elliott and Evan Collins created an exercise using the Web of Reactivity to help us become more mindful of our triggers—and our thoughts, emotions, body sensations, behaviors, and impulses to act—when we are stressed. Try this practical approach: Write down your thoughts, emotions, body sensations, behaviors, and impulses to act during stressful moments. Describe the situation (where, when, who, what). List your initial “automatic” thoughts. Take note of your emotions/ moods in one word, or as many as you like. List where you felt these emotions in your body. List your actions/impulse to act.

1

m RESOURCE Web of Reactivity Explore the Web of Reactivity diagram created by Mary Elliot and Evan Collins. mindful.org/ web

After you make a list, ask yourself where and how you might bring mindfulness to these reactions. Perhaps stopping and taking a breath, bringing attention to body sensations, or bringing curiosity to the experience may disrupt the tendency to cascade into a stress spiral. Also, consider whether the situation needs addressing through action, and if yes, how.

2

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inner wisdom

by Elaine Smookler

PHOTOGRAPH BY JACQUELINE MUNGUIA / UNSPLASH

FOR THE JOY OF IT

You don’t need to laugh large to feel joy from your head to your toes—though it doesn’t hurt. Start with a smile—and notice where it takes you.

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PRACTICE

I am a big laugher. I’ve been told that even in a room of a thousand people, you can always hear me laughing over the crowd.

For me, laughter is the ultimate form of embodied joy. And by “embodied,” I mean that my whole body is involved when I laugh. On the inside, it’s like a bubbling fountain of joy spilling out all over the place.

But what is joy, anyway?

Life can feel grim, but if you decide to follow the sound of the joy-fountain, you will find joy showing up in all kinds of places: kittens playfully bouncing around, the first day of parole, kindness, cuddling up to a big old oak tree, or even in nothingness.

Unexpectedly, I have felt embodied joy after sitting in a silent meditation retreat for hours and hours.

I frequently enter raging against the silence, but as it engulfs me, I notice joy emerging as though my inner being was a large, lazy lion stretching and warming itself in a sunbeam.

How else can you find your way to joy? A friend moved into a new apartment and needed some help, so I helped him. Afterwards, he was obviously so much happier and at ease. I noticed that playing even a small part in his happiness brought me great joy, and

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Elaine Smookler is a registered psychotherapist with a 25-year mindfulness practice. She is also a creativity coach and is on the faculty of the Centre for Mindfulness Studies in Toronto.

I took a moment to let this feeling of embodied joy in.

We can practice letting joy in by noticing how it feels to smile. Where does your body light up when you smile? When I smile, it makes me want to take a deep breath, and I notice my shoulders and belly relaxing. When I embody caring and loving, it feels great!

You might notice joy showing up when you act in alignment with whatever brings you happy thoughts, emotions, and feel-good body sensations. When my friend is happy it makes me happy, so participating in that brings me in contact with that joy-jam.

We literally need nothing to feel joy, even in the midst of despair. Sadly, many of us are numb to joy, or suspicious of it. Maybe you are afraid to open up to joy, or maybe you are so unfamiliar with what joy feels like that you ignore or resist it when it comes knocking.

No one other than you owns your happiness, but you might unknowingly block feelings or experiences that help you embody joy. The bum deal is that when you can’t embody joy, you miss out on one of life’s essential vitamins.

Want more joy? Don’t be afraid to look silly. Silliness helps us take things less personally. It helps us see the world the way a kid does. It allows us to laugh and frolic over nothing.

When we can find more joy in the smalls of everyday life, we can embody happiness, rather than just pursuing it. ●

Juice Up the Joy

m AUDIO Laughter Yoga This gentle movement exercise is Elaine Smookler’s foolproof way to get the giggles going. It is based on the Hawaiian word “Aloha,” a nice vowel-y word that opens the mouth and throat just by saying it. mindful.org/ aloha

Your busy, burdened life might feel like it’s not offering many opportunities for joy.

Try this Nourishing and Depleting Activities list, a tool from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, to see how you might be standing in the way of your own more joyful day.

Write down a list of your everyday activities: - Rolling out of bed - Looking at yourself in the mirror - Showering—with or without singing - Checking social media and the morning’s headlines - Cold pizza and coffee or ? for breakfast - Conversations, work details, bouncing off coworkers Beside each activity put an “N” if it Nourishes or energizes you, and put a “D” if it Drains or Depletes you.

What do you notice about a day filled with Depleting events versus Nourishing ones? We may not be able to get rid of all the depleting things on our list, but how about the items that are in your control? Are there ways that you can add a Nourishing component to a Depleting task? For example, on a busy day planning a healthy meal for yourself. Enjoy! You could listen to a nourishing podcast on a tiresome commute, or you could turn off the camera and do a little chair dance in a long meeting or maybe do a breakdance on the subway—make a few bucks and dazzle your friends.

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health

EFFORTLESS

FLOW

by Eric Langshur and Nate Klemp

The opposite of feeling checked out or distracted—the unfortunate reality for many—is the experience of flow state, bringing your skills you face. Here’s how you can train your mind to cultivate the ease and joy of being “in the zone.”

22 mindful April 2023

PHOTOGRAPH BY TK

and focus together to meet whatever challenge

health

PHOTOGRAPH BY RENDY NOVANTINO / UNSPLASH

As you have very likely experienced through mindfulness practice, our ordinary state is one of mind wandering—a state in which our attention drifts between the present moment and thoughts about past and future. When we practice presence, we begin regularly shifting our attention back to the present moment whenever our mind wanders.

Turning attention into engagement is similar.

Think of it as “directed presence” or as cultivating presence in the midst of the activities we engage in, whether it’s brainstorming with colleagues, working out, catching up with our partner, or putting our kids to bed. Psychologists have a name for this state of full engagement. They refer to it as “flow.”

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, one of the first psychologists to carry out research on this experience, talks about it in his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.

He describes flow as “the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”

LINKING MINDFULNESS AND FLOW By definition, you can experience presence any time, anywhere: lying on the beach, walking to your car, or sitting in traffic. It can be either passive or active.

Flow, on the other hand, is a purely active state that feels almost effortless. According to Csikszentmihalyi, the ideal conditions for flow arise when “both challenges and skills are high and equal to each other.”

Many top athletes, artists, and intellectuals describe this experience. Greek tennis champion Stefanos Tsitsipas recently described the dramatic shift between when he’s playing normally, versus when he’s playing in a flow state: “It felt like I was in a cage and someone decided to unlock it. I suddenly felt free. Every decision I went for felt right,” he said.

“It brings you to another level. You’re not playing with your skill any more, you’re playing with your soul.”

Buster Williams, the legendary jazz bassist, recalls his experience playing with Miles Davis that led to a heightened state of engage-

ment. “With Miles, it would get to the point where we followed the music rather than the music following us.

We just followed the music wherever it wanted to go.”

These descriptions might make flow sound mystical, but you don’t have to be a star tennis player or a legendary jazz bassist to experience a state of full engagement. Whether it’s on a challenging morning run, during an important PTA meeting, or while delivering a presentation at work, flow is something that everyone can access. For example, Csikszentmihalyi’s research found that full-time caregivers were just as likely to experience this state as athletes and musicians. One mother described a state of engagement happening as she worked with her daughter when she was discovering something new.

“Her reading is one thing that she’s really into, and we read together. She reads to me, and I read to her, and that’s a time when I sort of lose touch with the rest of the world. I’m totally absorbed in what I am doing.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Nate Klemp is coauthor with Eric Langshur of Start Here, a New York Times bestselling guide to mindfulness in the real world. He is a former philosophy professor and a founding partner at Mindful.

Eric Langshur is an author, sought-after public speaker, entrepreneur, and investor. He has dedicated his career to modeling a valuesbased leadership that leans on caring for people by investing in developing their potential.

FOMO—THE FLOW OF MISSING OUT? Csikszentmihalyi and fellow researcher Martin Seligman’s research illuminates the connection between flow and well-being. In one →

m AUDIO Resting in Effortlessness With all of life’s challenges, it can be difficult to find your flow and go with it. Explore this practice from Nate Klemp for experiencing effortlessness and appreciating the ride. mindful.org/ flow

April 2023 mindful 23

health

Flow doesn’t always come naturally. We often have to resist the temptation of short-term pleasure to get there. study, his team had 250 “high-flow” and 250 “lowflow” teenagers keep a record of their mood at specific times throughout the day.

When the team examined the responses, the low-flow teens spent the bulk of their time in a state of disengagement, and were said to either be hanging out at the mall or watching television.

The high-flow teens, by contrast, were more likely to spend their time developing hobbies, academic interests, and athletic abilities.

How did these two groups score on measures of happiness? It turned out that the high-flow group outperformed the low-flow group on every measure of psychological well-being, except one. Seligman writes, “The exception is important: The high-flow kids think their low-flow peers are having more fun, and say they would rather be at the mall doing all those ‘fun’ things or watching television.”

The only disadvantage of experiencing flow was the feeling of missing out on short-term pleasures. Pleasures that fail to produce long-term happiness. Two helpful conclusions can be drawn from this research.

24 mindful April 2023

First, engagement is associated with an increase in happiness and well-being. The more we live in the state of flow, the more we grow and experience meaningful success. However, experiencing mental health challenges like depression and anxiety may correlate to a reduced ability to access flow. In a 2022 study published in PLOS One, researchers examined 664 musicians (a population with high rates of anxiety) and the factors that made them more or less amenable to a flow state while performing. The researchers found that the more anxiety a musician reported, the less likely they were to experience flow.

Secondly, flow doesn’t always come naturally.

We often have to resist the temptation of shortterm pleasure to get there.

When we do, we set the stage for this exquisite experience of total absorption in the task at hand.

3 ESSENTIALS FOR FLOW STATE As Csikszentmihalyi and subsequent flow researchers have identified, three main conditions are needed to experience flow: 1) A clear and purposeful set of goals for your activity, which helps channel your attention. 2) A subjective sense of balance between the challenging nature of the activity and your skill-level to navigate

it, which leads to feeling absorbed in the activity. 3) Clear, immediate feedback telling you how well you’re progressing and where you can improve.

To create these ideal conditions for flow, reserve 10 minutes (or more) each day for engaged and purposeful work. Shut down or silence your phone, close your browser and email, and turn off the TV to eliminate digital distractions. Now, use those 10 minutes to focus on a project, task, or hobby you find difficult yet enjoyable.

If you make a mistake or a result isn’t what you intended, instead of criticizing yourself, simply see it as feedback and adjust what you’re doing accordingly.

You can also try alternating between periods of focused engagement and periods of rest and recovery.

Notice when your thinking starts to slow down or when you’re no longer operating at peak levels of focus. Then shift your behavior by taking time to allow your mind to recharge: Walk around, stretch, or take a few deep breaths. Finally, rewire your brain to create this habit by savoring the feeling of giving your mind and body a well earned break. Neuroscientist Judson Brewer says it’s powerful when we start to notice: “What’s it like when I get caught up in thinking, compared to when I’m noticing these body sensations that are trying to tell us to do things, and just being with them? We just have to get out of our own way.” ●

Adapted from Start Here: Master the Lifelong Habit of Wellbeing, by Eric Langshur and Nate Klemp, PhD.

health

3 Ways to Get in the Zone

BY ERIC LANGSHUR AND NATE KLEMP For some, flow comes almost naturally. Mozart started playing concerts at age six.

Picasso painted his first masterpiece at eight. People like Mozart and Picasso don’t have to consciously train the skill of engagement. This experience of total absorption in the task at hand becomes a way of life early on.

However, for most of us, dropping into this state of flow requires a bit more practice and reflection.

The first step is to identify activities that offer the potential for flow. Here are three points to help you identify which activities, either at work or at home, may be conducive to a flow state for you:

1

Challenge Remember that flow doesn’t arise when things are easy.

It’s actually the opposite.

Flow arises when we push our skills and abilities to their very limit. What are the activities that challenge you?

2

Enthusiasm Flow and lack of interest don’t go well together. You don’t have to love the activity that you are doing, but it helps if you choose something that brings you at least some level of enjoyment. What are the tasks you enjoy doing?

3

Skill Flow requires a certain level of mastery. A beginner learning to play her first song on the piano is less likely to experience flow than a concert pianist with twenty years of experience. You don’t have to achieve complete mastery, but achieving a high level of skill is essential. What are your most highly developed or natural skills?

Write your answers to these three questions on a sheet of paper. Then take some time to reflect on the activities in your life that allow you to experience these three qualities.

April 2023 mindful 25

26 mindful April 2023

brain science

THE HEART

of a Leader

By Misty Pratt • Illustrations by Edmon de Haro

The latest research shows that employees are happier in their jobs when they’re led by a woman, but experts say that being an effective leader has more to do with trust than with gender.

Women are shaping the future of leadership and transforming the workplace.

Compared to low representation in the 1970s, women now outnumber men in the workforce and hold 41% of managerial roles.

“We’ve seen improvements,” says Caitlin Sockbeson, Assistant Professor of Management at the Davis College of Business at Jacksonville University. But when Sockbeson examines trends in upper ABOUT THE AUTHOR Misty Pratt is a communications officer in the field of health research and medicine. She is hard at work on her first book about gender bias in mental health care, which explores the bio-psycho-social factors that impact women’s mental health.

levels of management, “it’s not looking quite as rosy.”

Women remain vastly underrepresented at the highest corporate levels, to say nothing of the disparities in other industries, like the trades. And the percentage of women of color in executive leadership roles is even lower than that of white women.

This isn’t bad news solely for women. It’s bad for all of us. Recent research has indicated that women may hold certain advantages over men in terms of leadership styles, reminding us that we have a lot to learn from many women in power.

Still, the work of addressing gender imbalances and creating healthier, more fair, and engaged workplaces

goes beyond putting more women in leadership roles.

Experts say we also need to explore our ingrained ideas about what (or who) makes a leader, so we can all (regardless of gender) cultivate the leadership qualities proven to contribute to healthier and more equitable work environments.

Gender and Leadership There are theoretical arguments as to why women are still underrepresented at the top. Earlier research showed that gender stereotypes disadvantage women, fueling uncertainty about women’s abilities to lead effectively.

“Some of those strong stereotypes—what we call the ‘Think Manager, Think Male’ stereotype— do still persist to a certain degree,” says Sockbeson. Yet, “we have seen that weakening over time, as more women move into management roles, and people become used to seeing women in leadership.”

Another factor at play might be something called “shifting standards.”

Sockbeson explains this using an example: When two leaders (one man, one woman) are being rated for their effectiveness, people tend to rate them against the “standard” for each gender. So, women are rated against female standards, and men are rated against

April 2023 mindful 27

brain science

male standards. “But if I had to choose, I might actually choose the man for promotion,” says Sockbeson. This is because people are not making a comparison to an objective or overall standard, and the standards for men and women are different.

One large meta-analysis found that when all workplace contexts are taken together, men and women do not differ in perceived leadership effectiveness.

Yet when ratings from other people (employees or colleagues) are examined, women are seen as significantly more effective than men. In contrast, when self-ratings are explored, men tend to rate themselves more positively than women rate themselves.

This may be in part because women are often socialized to prioritize communication and collaboration with others, and this way of relating extends to their treatment of colleagues. Similarly, research has shown that women leaders tend to take more action to advance the well-being of their employees, and spend more time on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. Scientific studies have found that individuals who engage in “communal” behaviors build a more respectful workplace, where engagement and collaboration are just as important as the bottom line. “The pandemic has brought this to the forefront—that leaders need to be more empathetic and people-centered,” says Rosabeth Moss Kanter, the Ernest L. Arbuckle Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School.

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The Cost of Calling Women “Better” Leaders Popular media and survey data has emphasized this gender advantage to show that employees are more engaged in their job and perform better when they are led by a woman. However, says Kanter, “These gender differences are small and they’re at the margin, so they do not refer to every woman and every man.”

There’s also a paradox when it comes to praising women for possessing certain leadership qualities that men supposedly don’t: Kanter says that when leadership attributes are seen as more “feminine” (compared with task-focused and goal-oriented leadership styles that are supposedly “masculine”), this can reinforce existing stereotypes— or even contribute to new

ones. Instead, all leaders should be encouraged and given the tools to cultivate skills such as emotional intelligence, collaboration, and inclusivity, regardless of gender.

The literature also recognizes an important caveat to all these findings: The critical work women do in developing healthy and safe workplaces may be going overlooked. Women take on more than their fair share of emotional labor (or what some call “mental load”) in the home, and it appears that this is happening in the workplace too. The evidence underscores the fact that women behave in more prosocial ways when they are in power than men in power typically do, which contributes to a higher risk of burnout for women.

“Women have to be very strategic about saying no,” says Clare Beckton, author and Executive in Residence at the Centre for Research

Women leaders tend to take more action to advance the well-being of their employees, and spend more time on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives.

brain science

on Inclusion at Work at Carleton University. “In the new leadership paradigm, men have to be out there supporting their teams as well.”

Creating

BRAVE

Trust, Inclusion, and Belonging When it comes to creating inclusive and supportive work environments, “leaders do have to be self-aware and aware of what is happening within their teams and taking the time to get to know each team member,” says Beckton. “That requires a leader to have emotional intelligence.”

Beckton says that a key piece to effective leadership is something called a “circle of trust.” Leaders who are more traditional will include “the good old boys” in their circle of trust, who are people they feel most comfortable around.

To counter this, Beckton says, we “need to bring people in who challenge our ideas and have diverse ways of thinking.” This should involve the whole team, rather than one token DEI representative who can end up shouldering a heavy burden of responsibility.

Widening our circles of communication and trust at work may not be easy, but emotional intelligence goes a long way. Carley Hauck is an organizational and leadership development consultant and instructor at Stanford University, and has consulted with organizations throughout the US. She says that the collaborative approach to leadership is sometimes viewed as bad for business.

Space at Work

by Misty Pratt

m RESOURCE Mindful at Work Get real about caring for your employees. Develop and retain your talented employees by giving them the skills they need to thrive and take ownership of their well-being. work.mindful. org

There is consensus among those who study organizational psychology that compassion at work matters. Workplaces are not devoid of emotion, nor are they places where we can check our personal baggage at the door. When managers and colleagues learn to meet difficult emotions with empathy and openness, they create space for compassion. And compassion breeds trust.

Compassion builds workplaces that are psychologically safe, which even Google has rated as the number one predictor of a high performing team.

“Because then we feel like we can be our authentic selves—without criticism, without reprimand and shaming, and without exclusion,” says Carley Hauck.

“And it’s the catalyst for trust.”

Research shows that creating a climate where managers trust their employees (and vice versa) can reduce errors, and motivates employees to ask tough questions and take risks: what many experts define not as safe space, but brave space. Hauck says leaders need to model emotional regulation and give people permission to express their emotions at work, without fear of disapproval from colleagues or leaders.

“They start to acknowledge their humanness; they start to care for each other. And then what happens? Innovation, collaboration goes up, trust goes up, and they create this kind of emotional bank account.” A higher “bank balance” results in a strong level of trust, and the overall quality of work improves.

April 2023 mindful 29

brain science

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Be a source of hope for bipolar disorder.

Questions? Reach out to Lisa Fabian at fabianl@umich.edu or visit prechterprogram.org.

“Toxic environments also aren’t good for business,” she counters. “Toxicity comes from the acculturation of emotions, such as sadness or fear of being seen as weak—being seen as feminine.”

She defines this as the “genderization of emotion,” which has led to workplace cultures where aggression and stoicism are rewarded.

Importantly, Hauck has seen a major shift in this trend over the past few years. She recalls a recent workshop where men were willing to share their emotions and be vulnerable, which created a safe space for others in the group to do the same.

Being able to understand and manage your emotions starts with self-awareness, one of the core components of emotional intelligence.

Research shows that this kind of self-awareness can ultimately motivate men to shift their behavior, opening the door for more collaborative and kind leadership.

Why Emotional Attunement Matters When it comes to developing excellence in leadership, regardless of gender, “One thing that has to change is our story about women,” says Kanter.

Changing our stories means moving beyond entrenched ideas about what makes the “ideal” male or female leader.

“What we need is people with solutions and the

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optimism to get working on them,” says Kanter.

Research shows that mindfulness can increase optimism and positive feelings, as well as emotional intelligence, which can in turn encourage transformational leadership behaviors. In a 2019 study of 57 organizational teams from Germany, researchers found that leaders who participated in a mindfulness intervention showed stronger transformational and lower abusive leadership behaviors when rated by their employees, compared to a control group. A transformational leadership style uses mentorship rather than a reliance on hierarchical power structures of “boss knows best.” Leaders who adopt this style harness their emotional intelligence to motivate their employees to find creative solutions for the problems they face.

Sockbeson says that leaders need to inspire change and get their people behind a bigger vision for the organization. However, there is no magic bullet: “Sometimes, it’s the adaptability of the leader to be able to shift those behaviors a little bit as needed, depending on the context, that may help them be effective.”

Being an effective leader may require us to move beyond the binary of “masculine” or “feminine,” to find an approach that is both flexible and inspirational. Recognizing the real strengths that emotionally attuned leaders bring to the table, valuing them, and choosing to learn from them can help build a workplace where everyone can thrive. ●

MINDFUL MOVEMENT for strength, clarity, and calm

WITH CARA BRADLEY

ONLINE COURSE

Build mental fitness to boost your energy and encourage emotional well-being

LEARN MORE

mindful.org/mindful-movement

exhale

May your self-care practice thrive. May your communities of care thrive. May the ripples of your efforts be felt in this world.

PHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW MAYOVSKYY / ADOBESTOCK

SHELLY TYGIELSKI

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34 mindful April 2023 ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK

insight

the space in between Paying close attention isn’t always a matter of life or death—but when we can bring exactly what we’re experiencing into focus, we might surprise ourselves with what’s revealed.

By Stephanie Domet

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Stephanie Domet is the author of two novels and a nonfiction book for middle grade readers. She’s the cofounder of the AfterWords Literary Festival and a contributing editor for Mindful. She lives in Kjipuktuk/Halifax, where she is, indeed, grateful to be alive, in the best way.

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ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK

I

honestly don’t know how to tell you this story. If we were having coffee together I would say: So, I almost died the other day. Or: Did I tell you about how a ladder almost took me out on the way to Windsor Junction last week?

And it is a story about almost dying. And it is definitely a story about a close encounter with a flying ladder. But if we were in person together I would tell you this story almost wryly, I would tell it to you with a sense of wonder, a sense of: This is the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me. I would tell it a bit funny and a bit surface.

Because the page is where I meet myself best, I’m writing about it—to share the story, and to unpack it a little for myself, too.

And that’s mainly because something happened the day that ladder almost took me out on the beautiful, winding, two-lane Cobequid Road—something happened that I don’t totally understand yet.

My therapist reframed it from a “near-death experience” to a “life-affirming experience.” My meditation teacher offers it was “an extremely wise moment.” My friend Waub, who was in the back seat of my car when it happened, characterized it as “some serious ninja shit.” Each of these is accurate in some way, but none really tells the whole story.

So, let me start at the beginning, as best I can.

On a sunny and cold Sunday morning, Waub, my husband Kev, and I are heading out to Windsor Junction, a rural community of comfortable houses set far back on expansive lawns, with backyards that disappear into forest. Waub is in town at the invitation of a festival I help run.

Earlier that morning, as Kev went to get in the driver’s side of the car, I said, “No, I’m driving.”

He scowled a little—he thinks I’m too critical of his driving (I am), and it is a repeating minor tension in our marriage. “It’s not personal,” I said. “It’s just that I’ll have Waub with me and he’s with the festival, so he’s my responsibility.”

Kev got in the passenger side, and off we went.

Thirty minutes later, we are traveling the winding Cobequid Road, and we are talking about grief. Waub’s a writer, and so am I, and he has asked me about my work. The novel I’m writing has grief as a major theme—as all my work does. I have just started to tell him about a revelation I had a few months earlier about some grief I’ve been holding around my father.

In fact, I’ve just said the words my father, when it happens.

In the other lane, coming toward us, is a pickup truck. It goes over a bump or a rise in the road, and the metal extension ladder that’s in the bed of the truck rises up too. It flies gently into the air, which stops my sentence at the word father. Then it begins to arc out so that it’s sailing perpendicular to the windshield of our car. It’s moving slow-fast, and so are we. Really, we are going about 45 miles an hour, and so is the pickup truck. The shoulders of the Cobequid Road are gravel and dirt, and they slope down into drainage ditches on either side. It’s a crisp fall morning, and there are many cars traveling this road. But the ladder is now the most important vehicle on the scene. I watch as it moves toward us.

And I mean, I watch. Later I will think of this as locking gazes with the ladder, as if it can see me, too. I feel I can see every pore of its skin, if that makes sense. In this life, in this moment, I am a student of one thing, and it’s only exactly what’s happening right. Now. →

insight

I’ve rarely met a moment I couldn’t avoid by ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future—or simply embroidering a story about what it all means.

insight

It took me about a year of dedicated practice to truly begin to notice myself, not just the idea of myself, my story about my experience.

38 mindful April 2023

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK

I need to tell you at this point that this is not the norm for me. I am a very experienced time traveler. I’ve rarely met a moment I couldn’t avoid by ruminating about the past or catastrophizing about the future—or simply embroidering a story about what it all means. In an earlier car crash, five weeks after my father’s death, I lost control of our car, sliding on black ice on (again) a two-lane highway while (again!) a pickup truck barreled toward us in the oncoming lane. In the moments that unfolded, my mind and its attention splintered, generating stories like: I am a terrible driver, and we are going to die.

And as we hit the guardrail and the side mirror snapped off: How much is it going to cost to fix that? And, as Kev rose up out of his seat and moved out of view behind me: Oh my God, you’re not wearing your seatbelt!! And as our tires left the ground and our car sailed through the air: How does this end? Do we die in water? As we hit the ground and rolled and the other side mirror snapped off: I could afford one, probably, but two is too much! And finally, as we came to rest on the roof of the car, Kev out of sight, me hanging upside down in my seatbelt, as I watched the whole front windshield crack before my eyes: Holy shit, I totally fucked up our car.

Our car was indeed totally effed. Kev and I both, miraculously, were unhurt. The violence and surprise of that experience snapped me out of grieving my father’s death, and into an almost rigid gratitude that I was alive, an orientation I often inadvertently weaponized against myself in the 17 years between that moment on a rural highway and this one. Still, for days or weeks afterward, I replayed the collision’s moments in my mind, seeing again and again the impact against the guardrail, Kev lifting into the air, the second mirror snapping as we hit the ground on the passenger side, and then that dreadfully silent moment when I hung upside down and the windshield cracked, and I spoke to Kev without knowing whether he was even alive. As it was happening, it felt like being in a movie. After, it felt like an unending nightmare. And then my driving was accompanied by the knowledge that catastrophe was possible. That I’m the kind of panicky driver who does exactly the

wrong thing— wrenching the steering wheel this way and that trying to get control, everything I learned about defensive driving leaving my head the second things start to go wrong.

I learned I was untrustworthy, terrible in an emergency. The kind of driver who could endanger her most beloved person—and anyone else unlucky enough to be around.

I became anxious in the car, critical of Kev’s driving, uptight and relentless. My father’s words were often in my mind. When he was helping me learn to drive when I was a teen, he said, “Never forget you are piloting a potential death machine.” He wanted to make an impression on my mind. Mission accomplished.

I could not forget the warning, but neither could I reckon with the responsibility.

As the ladder arced toward me—and Kev and Waub—that morning, I understood a number of things. And I mean, I understood them in a bone-deep, intrinsic way. I knew I needed to pay close attention to exactly what was happening right this second. I needed to focus my mind only on what was actually happening—not what I thought about what was happening, or felt about what was happening. Just: the information the moment itself was offering. I needed to focus deeply on that ladder and my relationship with it. And I knew I needed to stay quite soft, but very alert. I knew that if I got tense and critical, my body would tighten. My shoulders would pull in and up toward my ears, and if my body was tight like that, my options would be limited. I knew I was afraid. I had a sense that I might not know what to do. And then a sense that if I waited, I would figure it out—and that there wasn’t time to worry about it. I can’t say how I knew these things—but I can tell you that I knew them intrinsically, in an embodied way that was outside of time. I knew them instantaneously, and deeply. →

April 2023 mindful 39

insight

And so I settled into it, with the ladder. I watched it come toward us, as if it was being pulled by a magnet or a series of strings. At its full length, it was at least as wide as our car. If it collided with us, it would do so at my eye level.

The road’s shoulder was gravel and loose dirt.

No wiggle room. There were cars behind us, though not too close. And in the oncoming lane, the pickup truck. No room for me there.

I took my foot off the accelerator and kept my hands easy on the steering wheel. Behind me, Waub said, “Holy shit.”

The ladder kept coming.

I came to mindfulness anxious, in physical pain, and very impatient. I hoped that regular meditation practice would help me feel more at home in my body, more connected to it, less likely to ignore its needs in favor of logging another hour at my desk, knocking another five items off my to-do list. And I really hoped it would do so quickly and efficiently so I could get back to the aforementioned to-do-list items.

Reader, that was not exactly how it happened.

Instead, I spent many long moments, week after week, with my meditation teacher as she cued me to notice my feet, my seat, my neck, the top of my head, my belly, my thighs, my shoulders, my chest.

Kimberly Brown, author and teacher—my teacher, actually—says the kind of “Post-it Note” approach I had in the beginning is common.

“Many of us are looking to kind of put Post-it Notes on our experience. I have pain in my knee.

Post-it,” she says. “Well, what is that, really?

What is that experience? Can you actually experience pain in your knee? It’s usually not what you think it is. It moves. It changes. It’s hot, it’s cold. It’s in this spot. In that spot. And it’s the same with everything. We have these ideas of what we like, what we don’t like. And when you practice taking the Post-it Notes off, well, now you’re actually directly experiencing, and slowly you are developing the capacity to directly experience your life.” We may still use the Postit Notes sometimes, Kimberly says, and that’s OK—because we are developing the capacity to see what they are. “I think the first step is seeing the biases of the mind,” she adds. “Before you can start to investigate and just be with what’s happening, it’s to see: Oh, OK. I think it’s like this, or I have a story about that. How do I come back to my senses? And really it’s through just paying close, close attention.”

40 mindful April 2023

My meditation practice saved my life that day on the Cobequid Road.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK

It took me about a year of dedicated practice to truly begin to notice myself, not just the idea of myself, my story about my experience—to notice my actual feet on the actual floor, the actual air on my actual hands. My jaw as it clenched, my shoulders as they crept up toward my ears. I began to time travel less, and to connect more to my body. And out of that practice, I began to see the usual benefits—I felt a little more able to notice my anxiety and work with it when it arose. My compassion—for others, and somewhat for myself—deepened. I felt more free, in most moments.

And though I do feel that my meditation practice saves my life every day, in much less dramatic ways, I also feel strongly that my meditation practice saved my life that day on the Cobequid Road.

So let’s return to that scene.

The moment of decision was upon me. The ladder was very close now. I had no time to entertain an imaginary collision, the sound of the glass, the violence of bent metal, the oblivion of impact. When it seemed there was nothing else to do but move, I moved. Gently, so gently, I glanced my body away from the ladder, and with it, glanced the car away. Delicately and intentionally moved the steering wheel a little to the right. The ladder flew by us, inches from the car. It bent through the air around us, curved in front of the truck it had emerged from and skittered to a stop on the road’s shoulder. I watched in my side mirror as dust rose around it and the pickup truck driver pulled over.

“OK,” Kev said.

“Wow,” said Waub.

“That happened,” I said.

I didn’t have even a moment of shaky adrenaline afterwards. Instead, I drove along that winding road feeling a peaceful kind of wideopen gratitude. I had waited as long as I could to respond to the ladder, gathered all the information I needed, and we had emerged unscathed.

I tell Kim about Waub’s ninja comment. She laughs, but then says, “I don’t want anyone reading this to think, Oh, I’m going to meditate, gain

superpowers, and I’ll be able to save everybody.

And I wouldn’t want you to think that either, in the sense that, you know, causes and conditions came together so that you were able to perceive and act in a way that was beneficial. Sometimes it won’t happen that way—and it’s not your fault.

Do you see? Even if you have the direct perception of the moment, there will be other factors out of your control. And you couldn’t blame anyone. Just hold that in your heart, too.”

The causes and conditions are as real as any part of the present-moment experience, I think.

But one thing that flying ladder revealed was a capacity on my part that I wasn’t sure I had any access to. And while the collision after my dad died told me that catastrophe can happen, this experience allowed me to see the space that exists alongside that knowledge—the space that becomes more apparent the more I practice mindfulness meditation.

“Beautiful,” Kimberly says. “That’s it. Because you want to have that when a good friend is crying and sick—it won’t seem so heroic or magical, but it is when you can be present with them and not look away and not let your fear get crazy; when you can act appropriately. We need so many more people that can do this.”

And that, I think, is what I take—both from my meditation practice, and from that moment on the Cobequid Road. When I think back to that earlier collision, the black ice, the broken windshield, its predominant emotional color is: This can’t be happening! And then later: I am lucky to be alive—I could have died! And when I think back to the Cobequid Road, what I am left with is: This is happening. That moment happened, and I was there for every beat of it. And I am so, so lucky to be alive. What a gift it is to be alive. ●

April 2023 mindful 41

PRACTICE

Let Wisdom Arise When we train our awareness of what’s arising, both internally and externally, we increase our capacity to act with wisdom, no matter what life throws at us.

BY KIMBERLY BROWN Wisdom arises out of our mind’s capacity to be aware—which is not the same as thinking. Wisdom allows us to know what is happening in each moment and respond appropriately, with our words, with our actions, with our thoughts.

Sometimes responding appropriately means not doing anything at all, simply meeting each moment as it comes. Wisdom is a moment-to-moment awareness of what’s arising internally and externally.

It begins with developing concentration, which allows us to let go of our thoughts and our plans and be in this moment.

In this practice, we’ll begin with concentration, and then we’ll move to what is traditionally called mindfulness meditation, where we simply notice what’s arising without clinging or pushing away. And then finally, just for two minutes, we’ll let go of all the techniques and just rest in our awareness.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kimberly Brown is a meditation teacher and author based in New York City. Her teaching methods integrate depth psychology, compassion training, and traditional Buddhist techniques as a means to help everyone reconnect to their inherent clarity and openness. Her second book is Navigating Grief and Loss: 25 Buddhist Practices to Keep Your Heart Open to Yourself and Others (Prometheus Books, 2022).

1

Find a seat that’s comfortable. You can sit or stand or walk or lie down.

You can close your eyes if you like, and if your mind is sluggish today, or you feel overwhelmed when you close your eyes, keep your eyes open with a low gaze. Use your wisdom.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SAICLE / ADOBE STOCK, MARTYSHOVA / ADOBE STOCK

2

Simply notice that you’re here. Notice that you’re getting information from all your senses— sound entering your ears.

Taste. Smell. Light. The weight of your body, the air on your skin. You’re also getting information from your mind’s senses.

These are thoughts and emotions. Everything is arising. And everything is dissolving. It all comes and goes.

3

Turn your attention to your breath. Your breath is always with you. It’s going to be with you until you die. So it’s a reliable object that we can bring our attention to. Place one hand on your belly to feel the rise and fall of your breath, and begin to count your breaths.

The first inhale, exhale is

one. The next full inhale, full exhale is two. Count to five and then begin again. The trick here is to not control your breath.

Allow it. You’re just resting here, counting it, being with it. When you get to five, begin again. If you get caught in a story or a plan, it’s OK. Come right back to counting your breath. Notice where you are. If you’re not with your breath, gently come back, beginning again at one.

4

And now choose to open up to mindfulness practice. You can think of this mindfulness practice as noticing everything that’s arising, not just your breath, but thoughts, sound, smell or taste, or any movement in the body. Allow yourself to be with it as it arises and not cling to it or push against it or ignore it as it dissolves and changes.

One way to practice mindfulness is to anchor to your breath. You might consider the metaphor of a ship at anchor. It doesn’t go far away. We don’t have to chase it around, it comes right back when needed. So allow yourself to open to these other

sensations. If you feel you’re getting lost, you can gently come back to your breath. Just be here for two minutes as you practice mindfulness.

5

And now use this quality of awareness to notice: Where is your attention? Let yourself experience this moment as it is, as it arises and as it changes. Light, smell, taste, emotions, thoughts, images, all the sensations of your body. Pleasant.

Unpleasant. Neutral.

6

And now let go of any technique. You don’t have to meditate or not meditate. Allow yourself to be still and aware just for one moment, resting in this quality of awareness.

m AUDIO Acting with Wisdom Begin to train your momentto-moment awareness with a guided mindfulness meditation from Kimberly Brown mindful.org/ wisdom

7

Using your awareness, where is your attention right now? Use it now to recognize that your practice is valuable. Take a moment as we conclude this brief meditation on wisdom to recognize and appreciate your efforts.

Thank yourself for practicing today.

Let yourself experience this moment as it is, as it arises and as it changes.

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movement

MAKE YOUR MOVE Six mindful movement experts invite us to come home to the body, get curious about what we find there, and let it nourish us from the inside out.

INTRODUCTION BY AMBER TUCKER

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

movement

A

few months ago, my partner and I were moving across town from one apartment to another. A gaggle of wonderful friends had volunteered to help us on moving day. As we carried box after cardboard box down several flights of stairs, I found myself feeling more lighthearted than I had in weeks. The inner static of worrying, planning, and overthinking the move had faded as I shifted my attention toward lifting properly, ascending and descending the steps with care, and physically coordinating with others as we packed up the van. Later I realized that the day’s rather unusual physical activities had reminded me how to tune in to movement in a way I hadn’t done in a long time. My mind and body were finally in harmony, in motion together.

Fortunately, this kind of mindbody awareness is available to us every day, not only “moving day.” As biomechanist Katy Bowman puts it, “Movement is the axis and spine of all human behavior.” It’s part of who we are, and part of how we express who we are. Moving with awareness is a way to embody our intentions, our sense of purpose, and our relationship to those we love and the world around us.

Moving mindfully goes beyond trying to change or control something about our body, as is sometimes the case with exercise. With mindful movement, the practice of being present with the body in motion allows us to attend to—and maybe even enjoy!—the process itself, instead of waiting for the desired results. You can bring that presence while doing a weight-lifting or pilates workout, or strolling with a friend after dinner, or playing soccer, or pushing your child on the swing, or folding laundry.

Movement, whether simple or complex, is what life’s made up of. Why not be here for it?

And all of this embodied awareness

Movement, whether simple or complex, is what life is made up of.

Why not be here for it? comes with positive side effects. Contemplative teacher Willa Blythe Baker writes, “Recent studies on interoception (an innate capacity to sense the processes, feelings, and experiences of the interior body, such as your heartbeat, breathing, or hunger) have found a relationship between interoceptive awareness and emotional regulation.” From the butterflies of new love to the heavy ache of grief, we can sense how our emotions are rooted in the body. When we’re able to stay with the curiosity about what our body’s doing and what that feels like in each moment, this in turn improves our ability to navigate our emotions with skill. Becoming more aware and accepting of emotions also creates the possibility, as Zindel Segal describes, of “developing a different relationship to experience, one that is characterized by allowing an experience and letting it be.” When we are regularly in touch with our dynamic nature, our embodied resilience, we no longer feel such a strong need to push anything away.

The teachers and experts in the pages ahead offer a smorgasbord of practices, tips, and inspirations to help you get creative about how you make time for the gift of movement in your daily life. Explore these possibilities; feel what your body craves; shape your movement practice in whatever way serves you right now.

May we all move with courage and curiosity, and in ways that nourish our aliveness, both in mind and body.

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PRESENCE

A Soothing Yoga Flow to Help You Choose Yourself

Movement is a valuable ally in bringing more calm, focus, and clarity to our state of mind. Gentle movement helps us tune in to the daily routines that we might otherwise go through on autopilot.

This not only refreshes our perspective, it refills our cup with gratitude for what, and who, is present with us. Cultivating a spirit of playfulness and appreciation along the way lets us connect more easily with the people we care about, and it grounds and calms our nervous system.

BY DIANNE BONDY

While some yoga poses aren’t available to everyone, this slow-paced series of stretches includes options to customize each pose. The focus is on listening to your own body and moving in the way that feels best for your body, letting go of any comparisons to what others can do.

OPTIONAL PROPS •

A bolster or cushion to sit on

•

Yoga blocks, books, or paper towel rolls

•

A blanket

•

A bench or a chair without arms

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

mindful.org/movement

Dianne Bondy is an accessible yoga teacher, social justice activist, author, and the leader of the Yoga For All movement. Her inclusive approach to yoga empowers people of any shape, size, ethnicity, and ability to practice.

Follow her @diannebondyyogaofficial

Begin by finding a position that feels comfortable for you: maybe sitting cross-legged on your bolster; you can stretch your legs out long and straight, or out wide to the sides; or bring the soles of your feet together, which may be easier on the knees.

1

Take a few minutes to tap into your breath. One option is to close the eyes and take your experience inward. If closing your eyes doesn’t feel safe or comfortable, you can also lower your gaze toward the floor, or toward something in the room in front of you.

2

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

START SMALL

Savor this gentle practice as part of your time to simply be present with yourself. Or, invite a loved one to join you and unwind together, if you so choose.

movement

As you inhale, sweep your arms up to the sky. Bring your left hand down either to the bolster or to the mat and reach your right fingertips over toward the left. Inhale and bring both arms back up. Exhale and release your right hand down to the mat, and then reach your left fingertips over toward the right. Just swaying side to side, taking a side bend. Lengthen out of the crown of the head, really reach through the fingertips, and slightly turn your chest up to the sky as you move side to side.

4

During this practice, we’ll breathe in through the nose for two, and out through the nose for two, if it feels comfortable. You can also choose to exhale, or both inhale and exhale, through the mouth.

3

Let’s explore a couple of Cat and Cow variations, either on the mat or sitting on a bench or chair. From the mat, you’ll want to pad your knees and come onto your hands, fingertips spread out wide. Take your knees wider, soften your belly down toward the mat, squeeze between your shoulder blades—and then round your back up to the ceiling. If putting weight into your knees or hands doesn’t feel appropriate to you, you can sit on the chair or bench, placing your hands on your knees and curling the shoulder blades onto the back. Lift your gaze to the sky, and then as you exhale, round the chest. Repeat 3-5 rounds.

5

Make your way onto your back. Make your way to the floor, and roll over onto your right side and lower yourself down onto your back. Bring the knees in to your heart, one at a time, and gently rock from side to side, just giving your lower back a little massage.

6

April 2023 mindful 47

8

Plant your feet firmly on the mat, then cross the right ankle over the left knee. Your left hand rests on the floor alongside your body, or it can rest out to the side like a cactus arm. With your right hand, you can gently press the right thigh away, noticing how that feels in your body. Or you can draw that left knee in toward the chest, holding on to the top leg, flexing through the heel and pressing your lower back into the mat. On an exhalation, plant your left foot onto the mat. Repeat on the other side.

7

Next we’ll do Half Happy Baby. Holding on at the back of the right thigh, bring the knee close to the body. Hold on to the ankle, and lift the sole of the foot to the sky. Or, hold on at the outer edge of the foot and draw your knee back toward the floor. If you’ve been standing or sitting all day, this may be a nice release for tight hips. You can also do this in bed before you get up in the morning. It’s all about what feels best in your body: honoring that energy, that moment, that sensation, that breath. Repeat on the left side.

Now, just let your whole body soften into the mat. You can gently tug the shoulder blades underneath you, turning the palms up to the sky, relaxing the jaw, closing the eyes if that feels good, or keeping the gaze soft.

For the next few minutes, inhale deeply, and exhale completely.

When you’re ready, begin to bring a little movement to your fingers and toes. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe and supported in this posture, always choose it for you. Stretching your arms, maybe your legs, rolling your wrists and your ankles, finding what feels good for you, just stretching the body in a way that feels delicious, as you prepare to end your practice.

10

48 mindful April 2023

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

9

movement

CONNECT

A New Kind of Social Movement With a little creativity, even the most ordinary occasion with friends, family, colleagues, or neighbors can be more lively and playful.

BY KATY BOWMAN

With so many wants and needs in our lives, the need to move our bodies more is often the ball we drop. Yet, until very recently, movement was not a separate “ball” for humans to hold; movement and community were woven into the tasks that made up daily life.

If you’re struggling to find time for movement, see if you can adjust tasks you are already doing to a dynamic version that increases your physical activity—no juggling required.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katy Bowman is a biomechanist and bestselling author. Her latest book, Rethink Your Position, will be out May 2023. Follow her @NutritiousMovement.

Try it: Love time with your partner?

Swap a dinner out for a hiking date.

If friends (or art or wine!) are your passion, fill a pack with art supplies and a bottle of your favorite vino (or kombucha, or hot tea) and trek through a park for a DIY sip-and-paint with pals.

Meet a friend for coffee—and take it to go on a garden tour.

Take early-rising toddlers on an outdoor sunrise adventure with a portable breakfast.

Start work meetings with a few team-building exercises that are actually stretches for your team.

Start a dynamic book club, where the conversation is on foot or wheels.

Liven up household chores with a dance party, swinging arms and hips to your favorite tune.

Host an active potluck, where neighbors of all ages play casual games of frisbee or basketball and share food.

Experiment together, and have fun!

Before long, infusing your relationships with playful and nourishing movement will become second nature.

April 2023 mindful 49

RISE UP

There are countless ways we can shift our world for the better—whether it’s volunteering weekly in our communities, engaging someone in a compassionate conversation, joining an activist group, or creating art that envisions what positive change might look like and energizes us to get there. Showing up with our passion and care is strong fuel for joy and purpose.

Yet outward actions are not the whole story here. We need to care for ourselves, too: Healing and replenishing ourselves is part of the healing we wish for others.

So let your body and your breath support you in flowing, breathing, and deepening your roots so that we can all continue showing up with revolutionary love.

In this seated yoga practice, we cultivate the tools to nurture, strengthen, and give courage to our fearless hearts.

BY BOO BOAFO

Start by finding a comfortable seat. Start to feel your breath coming into your body. Place your right hand on your belly, feeling your breath there, and put your left hand on your heart, feeling your heartbeat. Honor these two functions that keep us in harmony. Gently release your hands to your knees.

1

Begin to lengthen your inhale and exhale. Imagine the exhale removing all that we don’t need from our body and mind, the inhale embracing everything that nourishes us. What can you embrace in your mind that lets you know you’re safe? And on the exhale, what can you release that does not serve your better good?

2

Breathe into your heart center. Relax your jaw, your tongue, the space between your eyebrows. We have everything we need inside of us: all the courage, all the stamina, all the forgiveness, all the kindness. Embrace it all as you step into your brave heart.

3

mindful.org/movement

4

Inhale, moving your hands up toward the sky. Meet your palms above your head and reach your fingertips up high. Take a long inhale, and as you exhale, draw the shoulders down the back. On your next exhale, turn your palms out and slowly arch your arms out to each side until they are parallel to the mat.

Inhale, bend at the elbows, hinging your forearms up as if mimicking a cactus. With a long exhale, bring your cactus arms closer together until your elbows, wrists, fingers, and palms connect at the centerline of the body. Bow your head and set an intention for your brave heart, with love and kindness as your foundation.

5

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

FEED YOUR FLAME

Connect With Your Brave Heart

movement

We have everything we need inside of us: all the courage, all the stamina, all the forgiveness, all the kindness.

Inhale, reaching upward, and release your intention out into the universe. Take a half twist to the right by lowering your right hand down to the ground behind you while placing your left hand on the outside of the right knee.

Inhale, lengthen the spine, and exhale, twisting the ribcage and shoulders to the right.

6

Inhale, move your right hand high up toward the sky, shifting it all the way over to your left knee or thigh. With the elbows crossed, tuck the chin to the chest, tilt the pelvis up, and let your heart space open into your spine as your shoulders open up. Breathe into that back heart space. Soften the space between your ears.

7

Inhale, come to a comfortable position. Keeping the elbows gently crossed, hug your shoulders and tell yourself that you love yourself unconditionally. No judgment, just unconditional love. Inhale, reaching the arms up to the sky, exhale, and release.

8

Now take a half twist to the left. Let your left hand come down to the ground behind you and the right hand come to the outside of the left knee. Inhale to lengthen the spine, exhale to twist to the left.

9

When you’re ready, move your left hand up toward the sky, moving it all the way over until the left hand meets the right knee or thigh. The elbows are crossed. Tuck the chin to the chest, tilt the pelvis up, and let your heart space open as your shoulders open up.

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Inhale and return to a comfortable position. Keeping the elbows gently crossed, hug your shoulders. Bring to mind someone or something that challenges you. Breathe love into that challenge. And if you can’t breathe love into it directly, perhaps consider what tools you can embrace for the better good of all.

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Inhale, stretching your arms over your head, releasing.

Exhale your arms back down to rest your hands on your knees or thighs. Just sit with that right now as the universal light of interconnectedness shines within you, and within each of us.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Boo Boafo is a yoga teacher, plant-based chef, and holistic lifestyle consultant. She shares the Brave Heart practice as an ambassador of the Urban Yoga Foundation. Follow her @holisticlifestyler

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RESTORE

LET Rest in the NATURE Movement of Nature Tuning in to the natural movement of nature can MOVE be very soothing and calming, even in the midst of ongoing challenges. You can do this meditation YOU outdoors, or anywhere.

mindful.org/movement

BY JEANNE CORRIGAL

First, find a posture lying down or sitting that is comfortable for you. Let yourself really rest into this posture, really land into the sense of your body sitting. Noticing the sensations that let you know you’re here, in the body.

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If you’re practicing indoors, recall a place in nature that you like to be. This can be a place you imagine, or your backyard, a park nearby, or by the ocean or a lake.

Maybe it’s in the forest, in the desert, or by a mountain. As you bring this memory to mind, sense how it feels in your body.

2

Sometimes there can be a little sense of relaxation. Just let this memory come alive for you.

Feel what the body feels like in connection with the Earth.

What does it feel like? Underneath your feet or your body? Are you sitting on a stone or rock? Moss? Are you leaning back against a tree, against a boulder, against a hill?

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Notice what scents you might smell: the scent of spruce in the forest, or the salty scents of the ocean.

What do you smell?

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Now, begin to sense the movement around you. What can you hear? Is there a rustle of the leaves with the breeze of the wind? The sound of birds, the sound of waves lapping? What do you hear in the motion, in the movement of nature? And what can you see in your special place? You might see the trees moving, the sunlight shifting. The waves swelling. Birds flying.

Notice this motion, this movement, and just be with this movement, in a relaxed, easy way.

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ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

Exploring how it feels to move mindfully outdoors can be a deeply awe-inspiring practice. Even when we’re sitting still, we can sense the movement of nature around us, full of momentto-moment reminders of the continuous state of growth and life surrounding us.

Many of us struggle with climate anxiety and grief.

When we move with nature, remembering that as human beings we’re not separate from our environment, we often discover small ways in which we can refocus that anxious energy into connection and gratitude.

These, after all, are at the heart of our collective desire to respect and protect our planet.

movement

BREATHE DEEP

Practice the Power of the Long Exhale

BY GEORGINA MIRANDA

Sense your breath moving your body: another aspect of movement in this inner nature. This breath connects your inner nature with outer nature. This breath that moves and breathes you, and moves in your outer environment as well.

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Sense how your being is a part of this natural movement.

Resting in the breath, like resting in the swell of the ocean, rising and falling.

Sensing, in your body, sensations like tingling, perhaps in the feet or the hands.

Like a little sense of ripples of the waves on the lake, or the pulsing of the heart, or the pulse in the body as the rivers of water move through every cell of your body, these internal rivers.

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Sense the change of temperature in your body, warm and cool. All of these changes are part of this natural movement, internally, externally.

Sensing thoughts that rise and pass, like clouds rising and passing in the sky.

Emotions, like the rhythm of day and night, or the seasons. We’re resting in nature, this movement, internally and externally. Peaceful and relaxed, resting in the midst of movement and change.

PHOTO CREDITBY PHOTOGRAPH TKBRUNO TK AGUIRRE / UNSPLASH

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Let yourself rest as best you can in the sense of ease and being carried, being a part of this movement and change, as you go about your day.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jeanne Corrigal is a Guiding Teacher at Saskatoon Insight Meditation Community. She teaches meditation, compassion practices, and MindfulnessBased Stress Reduction (MBSR).

When we lengthen the exhale, we’re better able to find our power and invite a sense of relaxation to high intensity movement. Longer exhales cause the vagus nerve to send a signal to your brain, activating the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) and easing the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, or freeze).

The technique I share below is one that I practice when engaging in strenuous physical activity and training. This practice has been instrumental in helping me find my flow. With a longer exhale, I find I can do hard things over longer stretches of time and build my overall endurance in my movement practices, whether that be hitting laps on the stairs, running, hiking, climbing, or a high intensity workout.

HOW TO BREATHE INTO CHALLENGING MOVEMENT Take a few deep breaths in and exhale fully through the mouth, with the intention to get present as you begin your movement practice.

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Focus on your breath as it passes through the nostrils, and then try exhaling the air from your lungs with pursed lips.

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Begin to take intention3 ally longer exhales to get used to the feeling and sensation of what this could be like:

•

Breathe in through your nostrils for a count of 1, 2, 3, 4.

•

Breathe out with pursed lips through your mouth for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and (if you can) 6.

•

Be mindful of your capacity so that your next inhale is not a big gasp of air to compensate for over-exhalation.

•

Aim for smooth transitions of inhales and exhales.

Once you feel in rhythm with this breath count, you can go deeper into your movement activity. For example, at this stage I might transition from walking to running, or pick up the pace of going up stairs, or increasing the repetition of weights, etc.

4

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Over time, work toward a 2 to 1 exhale:inhale ratio.

When you are ready to finish your movement practice, start to slow your pace and breath down. Be sure to give yourself a few moments of stillness or stretching with slow belly breathing, to let your heart rate go down and to honor your practice.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Georgina Miranda is a mountaineer athlete and a global leader in change, transformation, mindfulness, conscious leadership development, and the advancement of women. Follow her @georgina.ventures

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CALM

5 Stretches to Ease Your Body into Sleep

Movement often contributes to energy, connection, and optimism, but it can equally be a part of our restorative practice. Slow, conscious movements can be a doorway to deeper calm, ease, and the mental and physical rest that so often get edged out of our busy schedules. While it may be counterproductive to do an intense workout close to bedtime, some studies suggest that engaging in mindful movement as you finish your day may result in a significantly improved quality of sleep.

BY CARA BRADLEY

When we give ourselves a chance to release tension and let go of any wakeful or anxious thoughts at bedtime, we’re setting ourselves up to get a good night’s sleep. These nighttime stretches are a simple form of self-care that lets us meet the next day refreshed and confident. Roll out your yoga mat or a soft blanket, and allow yourself to nod off at the end.

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CAT/COW

Stretch your upper back, loosen tension in your spine Place your hands on the ground beneath your shoulders and your knees on the ground beneath your hips. Keep your back straight and your head forward. As you inhale gently, drop your belly toward the floor, lift your chest, and look forward, arching your spine slightly. As you exhale, bring your face toward your navel while rounding your back upward.

Repeat for 3-5 breaths.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

mindful.org/movement

Cara Bradley is a leading authority on mental fitness and strategies to work and play in flow. She shares her 30+ years of body-brain training with Fortune 500 companies, start-ups, and premiere college sports teams. Follow her @carabradleylife

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SPENCER CREELMAN

OPEN UP TO EASE

In this quick bedtime routine, you’ll stretch and relax areas of your body (and mind!) that may have tightened up during the day.

movement

2

DEEP LUNGE

3

SEATED NECK STRETCH

Stretch the front of your hips From an all fours position, step your right foot forward and slide your left knee further behind you. Place your hands on your knee. Keep your hands on the floor or on your front knee. Hold for 5 breaths. Switch sides.

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Stretch and lengthen both sides of your neck While seated, bring your right hand over your head and place it on your left ear. Gently drop your right ear toward your shoulder. Hold for 5 breaths. Bring your head back to center gently and switch sides, going easy on your neck when you switch.

Hold for 5 breaths.

DYNAMIC BRIDGE

Stretch the chest, neck, shoulders, and spine Place your arms flat on the ground by your sides, palms facing down. Place both feet on the floor under your bent knees. Make sure your back is flat and your body feels centered and balanced. Then, as you inhale, lift your hips up toward the ceiling, creating a straight line from your knees, down your thighs, to your chest.

If it feels comfortable, interlock your fingers under your body and shimmy your shoulder blades toward each other to open your chest muscles. Hold for 8 deep breaths.

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KNEE TO CHEST AND TWIST

Stretch out your low back and hips Stretch out your legs and slide them together. Hug your right knee into your chest, clasping your fingers around your right shin, to stretch your low back and hips. Hold for 3 breaths.

Release your knee and send it to the left for a gentle spinal twist. Turn your gaze to the right. Hold for 3 breaths, then switch sides.

After this last pose, let yourself take a few slow, deep inhales, and a few long, comfortable exhales. When you’re ready, open your eyes and notice how you feel. Slowly get up and crawl right into bed. ●

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science

Experiencing everyday wonder can help us see that we’re part of something bigger.

Science shows that this exquisite emotion can quiet our inner critic, reduce stress, loneliness, and physical distress, and bring a sense of expanded time, perspective, and connection. Awe researcher Dacher Keltner shares

PHOTOGRAAPH BY JOSIP / ADOBE STOCK, ILLUSTRATION BY PAIGE SAWLER

the story of how he turned to awe during a time of deep grief, and what he learned in the process.

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I looked at my iPhone on my gym bag.

Two texts.

From my brother’s wife, Kim: Can you come here as fast as possible?

Fifteen minutes later from my mom: It’s over. Rolf took the cocktail. He is leaving us.

Rolf is my younger brother, born a year after me in a small clinic in Jalisco, Mexico. The “cocktail” was the end-of-life opiates he took, which usually ends a human life in an hour or two.

I picked up my wife, Mollie, and our daughters, Natalie and Serafina, in Berkeley, then my mom in Sacramento. We arrived at Rolf and Kim’s home in the foothills of the Sierras at 10:00 p.m.

Rolf was in a bed downstairs, lying on his stomach and right cheek, his head tilted upward.

My dad held his foot. I leaned in near his midsection. My mom stroked his thin hair.

Rolf’s face was full and flushed. The sunken eyes and gaunt cheeks caused by colon cancer were gone; the tightened skin around his mouth smoothed. His lips curled upward at the corners.

I rested my right hand on his left shoulder, a rounded protrusion of bone. I held it the way I would the smooth granite stones we used to find near the rivers we swam in as young brothers.

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Rolf… This is Dach…

You are the best brother in the world, I said.

My daughter Natalie laid her hand lightly on his shoulder blades: We love you, Rolf.

The cycle of his breathing slowed. He was listening. Aware.

Listening to Rolf’s breath, I sensed the vast expanse of 55 years of our brotherhood, a brotherhood of awe. Roaming Laurel Canyon in the late ’60s and skateboarding through the Volkswagen-lined streets. In our adolescence and young adulthood, walking the wild foothills of the Sierras, exultant trips to Mexico, and then becoming teachers and fathers to daughters.

A light radiated from Rolf’s face, pulsating in concentric circles, spreading outward, touching us. The chatter in my mind, clasping words about the stages of colon cancer and survival rates, faded. I could sense a force around his body pulling him away. And questions in my mind: What is Rolf thinking?

What is he feeling?

What does it mean for him to die?

A voice in my mind said:

PHOTOGRAAPH BY ANDREW NORRIS / ADOBE STOCK, ILLUSTRATIONS BY PAIGE SAWLER

science

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, the faculty director of the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center, and the author of Born to Be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life and of The Compassionate Instinct and Awe The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life.

science

PHOTOGRAAPH BY XTRAVAGANT / ADOBE STOCK, ILLUSTRATIONS BY PAIGE SAWLER

Science Finds Awe Awe is the emotion that arises when we encounter vast mysteries that transcend our understanding of the world. My research from 26 cultures shows that people find awe in the “eight wonders of life,” which are: the moral beauty of others, collective movement, nature, visual design, music, spirituality, big ideas, and encountering the beginning and end of life. Knowing that watching the end of life is a universal wonder soothed me as I watched my brother die.

A new science of awe has charted how awe transforms the self, rendering it small, quiet, and humble.

In one study, when travelers from 42 countries were stopped in Yosemite Valley and asked to draw a picture of themselves, the images they drew were considerably smaller than those drawn by participants at bustling and entertaining Fisherman’s Wharf.

Even the ego-related regions of the brain—together referred to as the default mode network—are deactivated during awe.

Awe opens our minds to the truth that we as individuals are part of something much larger than the self. For example, when participants standing near a large replica of a T-Rex skeleton filled in the sentence stem “I am _________” in 20 different ways, they were less likely than participants in a control condition to define themselves in terms of individual desires and preferences, and more likely to define themselves in terms of shared qualities with others.

Awe unleashes what William James called the “saintly tendencies” of religious experience—sharing, cooperation, and care. In one study, after looking up at an awe-inspiring grove of tall eucalyptus trees, participants picked up more pens dropped by a stranger nearby. Awe is registered →

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in bodily responses—perhaps the kind that led Walt Whitman to observe: “If the soul is not in the body, then where is the soul?” Experiences of awe activate the vagus nerve, which wanders from the top of your spinal cord through your throat, heart, lungs, and digestive organs. Awe slows your heart rate, orients your attention toward others, and prompts you to explore and engage with the world.

Awe’s effects on the lacrimal glands (tear ducts) make our eyes well up with tears that studies find are accompanied by a sense of shared identity with others. Awe is associated with a goose-tingling sensation in your arms and at the back of your neck—perhaps the bodily register of Kundalini in yoga—that arises in many social mammals, including humans, when responding to peril together. Awe is a basic state of mind, a primary form of consciousness. We can find it, other studies would suggest, readily. There is everyday awe to enjoy.

In the grief that followed Rolf’s passing, I would regularly jolt awake before dawn, gasping. My body ran hot. I ached physically. I felt sluggish,

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vague, and confused. This profile is familiar to many in the depths of grief and can resemble the correlates of a deep depression. I felt aweless.

An urgent voice called out in my mind: FIND AWE. Knowing, from my research, that awe can reduce stress, loneliness, and physical distress, and bring one a sense of expanded time, perspective, and connection, I went in search of awe. I relied on the eight wonders of life as a roadmap, and a mindset I developed with Mindful’s Heather Hurlock in our creation of “the awe walk”—to seek out mystery and go where one might rediscover a childlike sense of wonder.

Moral Beauty on the Inside The most universal source of awe, our research finds, is the moral beauty of others, when we are moved and touched by others’ kindness, courage, and ability to overcome adversity. →

PHOTOGRAAPH BY JAMO IMAGES / ADOBE STOCK, ILLUSTRATIONS BY PAIGE SAWLER

science

science

My brother Rolf had been my source of moral beauty—his instinctive tenderness, intolerance of bullies, and physical courage always oriented me toward the good. His passing left me adrift. I found moral beauty again in an inmate-led restorative justice (RJ) program in San Quentin prison, centered on bringing about acknowledgment and forgiveness in contexts of deep harm.

At the center of RJ is the talking circle, led by facilitators serving time.

In those that I participated in, the men in blue (inmates) and I would sit in a circle and take turns speaking on topics like: feelings of shame and remorse; the family member they have let down; a cellmate dying in his 50s; the grace of God; an upcoming appearance before the parole board; the latest thinking on sentencing laws.

One of the facilitators of RJ in San Quentin is now my friend—Louis Scott, in prison for life. Louis was transformed by an idea: to cultivate an awareness of the moral beauty of prisoners through restorative justice, his radio show, and the San Quentin News, which he helped edit. Our need for moral beauty arises in every context, including the dehumanizing confines of prison.

At the end of one day of RJ inside San Quentin, 180 of us, almost all men in blue, stood together in a quiet moment of shared attention, itself awe-inspiring, reciting the tenets of RJ. This recital ended with: I pledge to be an instrument of restoration, of reconciliation and forgiveness.

At “forgiveness,” Louis and I broke a rule: We embraced, at a slightly oblique angle, Louis leaning a shoulder into my chest, both of us crying tears of common humanity.

That kind of embrace was the last real touch between Rolf and me. A couple weeks before he died in his home, he had given each of us gifts, telling stories about the place of our moral beauty in his life. My gift

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science

PHOTOGRAAPH BY YSPBQH14 / ADOBE STOCK

was a French Opinel picnic knife, whose wooden handle I touch often, thinking of his hands. Rolf shuffled to his kitchen and I followed, where we embraced. For only two or three seconds. But it felt longer, lost as I was in taking in through tactile contact his embodiment of moral beauty. As we released, he looked to the ground and said: We made our way.

What I remember today is feeling his chest and shoulder leaning in to mine, his large hands on my shoulder blades, and the feelings of awe that ensued. Today, I actively practice the awe of moral beauty, contemplating a mentor, or the kindness of strangers in the streets, or the symphonies of laughter of children. In practicing awe in this way, I still feel that last touch of Rolf, and am sent down webs of memories of Rolf’s moral beauty— his humanity, his courage, his sense of fairness and justice. I am moved by a force—his spirit—to bring a little more good to our world. ●

Adapted from Awe by Dacher Keltner.

Reprinted by arrangement with Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) LLC, A Penguin Random House Company. Copyright © Dacher Keltner, 2023.

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m VIDEO Awe Walk Tap into a deeper sense of purpose and well-being with the first VR meditation of its kind—a 360-degree guided mindfulness practice at Muir Woods National Monument. mindful.org/ awe

PRACTICE

How to Take an Awe Walk Go out and find your own moments of awe. Listen to them carefully and see where they guide you. What you may find, in how they stir humility and wonder, is that they can point you toward finding new inspiration and deep meaning.

PHOTOGRAAPH BY TOMAS HEJLEK / ADOBE STOCK, ALEKSANDR VOLKOV / ADOBE STOCK

BY DACHER KELTNER We can find awe in many places, in listening to music, thinking about inspiring people, in contemplation and mindfulness.

My favorite approach to cultivating awe is the awe walk—a walk within a place of meaning and beauty, where your sole task is to encounter something that amazes and transcends, be it big or small.

I take two kinds of awe walks. The first is to seek out the new, for there one is likely to find awe. And the second is to return to a familiar place, where the past is linked to the present, yet another kind of vastness—how brief experiences are tied together in the sweep of time.

The striking thing, once you start to think about awe and try to practice it in your life, is how omnipresent it is. As you move through your day, take note of the moments that bring you wonder, that give you goosebumps: These are your opportunities for awe.

This practice can be experienced indoors, but is meant to be brought outside, to a space that either feels new and inspiring or to a familiar place brings peace and presence.

We begin an awe walk as we do all contemplative exercises, with the breath.

Take a deep breath in.

Count to six as you inhale and six as you exhale. Feel the air move through your nasal passage and notice the sound of your breath.

Feel your feet on the ground and listen to the sounds around you. Return to your breath. Count to six while you inhale and six as you exhale.

Shift your awareness now so that you are open to what is around you, to things that are vast, unexpected, things that surprise and delight. Take a deep breath in. Count to six as you inhale and six as you exhale.

Let your attention be open in exploration for what inspires awe. Your attention might appreciate vast spaces, and the sounds and sights within them. You might shift to small patterns, for example of the sorrel on the ground, or the cracks in pavement, or the veins on leaves, or a cluster of tiny mushrooms.

Bring your attention back to the breath. Count to six as you inhale and six as you exhale. Coming out of these experiences of awe, we often feel a sense of wonder.

Wonder happens when we are delighted by that which surprises us, and we are moved to find explanations and deep meaning.

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BOOKMARK THIS read…listen…stream

by AMBER TUCKER, AVA WHITNEY-COULTER, BARRY BOYCE, KYLEE ROSS, and STEPHANIE DOMET

PERMISSION TO SPEAK How to Change What Power Sounds Like, Starting with You Samara Bay • Crown

“To speak with the full wingspan of your voice requires some technical know-how as well as a certain flex of the permission muscle,” writes Samara Bay in this book that delivers plenty of each, and more besides. Bay is a speech and dialect coach who’s worked with actors, politicians, business leaders, and others who are looking for ways to fully discover and inhabit their voice.

Permission to Speak goes beyond the easy “use your voice” platitudes that power hashtag-girlboss memes, and instead explores what it might mean to show up fully, in the way that we want to, and to find the joy in saying what we came to say. The book never shies away from frank talk about the ways systems of oppression have squelched and silenced some voices, and at every turn, Bay offers practical and doable exercises and practices that address both the technical know-how parts and the permission muscle flex—from working with breath to “looping it through the heart” or, in other words, saying it like it matters.

Bay writes with humor and ease, sharing stories from her own experience and those of her clients: analyzing how and when Oprah Winfrey uses vocal fry to connect with her audience, and offering a trick for aligning your skull with your spine in order to relax your throat that is worth the book’s cover price alone.

At the heart of it all is Bay’s belief that helping people—women, especially—find and step into their true voice with confidence, heart, skill, and vulnerability can ultimately lead to a more just world, where a wider variety of voices and messages can be heard in boardrooms, living rooms, market halls, and government halls. – SD

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REAL SELF-CARE A Transformational Program for Redefining Wellness Pooja Lakshmin MD • Penguin Life

Pooja Lakshmin balances a compassionate tone and frank dissemination of the facts. “I was taught to prescribe medications or provide psychotherapy for issues that were clearly systemic,” she writes in the introduction. She compiles anecdotes from her personal life, her education as a psychiatrist, and her clients to dispel the myth that the cure to burnout and self-criticism is found

at the bottom of a turmeric latté or in a wellness getaway.

Real self-care, she writes, is based on four principles: holding boundaries, cultivating kinder self-talk, being intentional about what and who we surround ourselves with, and using our power for good. She guides the reader to make changes that benefit themselves, their workplaces, and their communities. – AWC

YEAR River Wolton • The Poetry Business

Wolton, former poet laureate of Derbyshire, UK, dedicated her year to loving-kindness on January 1, 2020. “I resolved to write a poem a day and not to shy away from the realities of irritation, ill will, rage and pettiness,” she writes. Year compiles these poems, with grayscale watercolor illustrations by Emma Burleigh.

We’re likely to recognize not

only the experiences broadly shared in 2020—pandemic isolation, Black Lives Matter, losing loved ones, getting sick, seeking solace in nature—but, intimately, how we felt about it all. Throughout, the theme of loving-kindness persists as Wolton lets her “negative” emotions be part of the path back to compassion and interconnectedness. – AT

read, listen, stream

TUNE IN TO

REAL LIFE The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom Sharon Salzberg • Flatiron Books

To read any of Sharon Salzberg’s last few books is to sit down for tea with a wise friend who possesses such a coherent, grounded, yet uplifting perspective that we feel held and grateful just being in their presence. Here, Salzberg delves into how small steps, small choices, can help us grow from a self-limiting mindset to a more expansive one, opening to the challenges we’ll inevitably face along the way. She explores, as she sums it up, “the inner

journey—and journeys—we make when we decide to fully live life, whatever the world has presented to us, knowing that life is short and also that life is sacred.” Seeded with a colorful mix of mindfulness tools, Buddhist teachings, lessons from her Jewish background, personal anecdotes and juicy quotations, plus a smattering of pop culture, Real Life feels deeply rooted in our lives now, an expression of genuine engagement with the real world. – AT

mindful Visit mindful.org for featured meditations from Mark Bertin, Sara Ivanhoe, and Christopher Willard 3 PRACTICES FOR MIND-BODY CONNECTION

1

Often, our journeys from point A to point B are times when we’re tuned out from the world around us. Maybe we listen to a podcast or get lost in our thoughts. With walking meditation, these journeys can become opportunities to gather our awareness.

“Whether moving between floors of a building, on a city street, or in the woods, it is an opportunity to guide ourselves out of the distracted autopilot we live in throughout so much of our day,” says Mark Bertin.

2 MINDFULNESS MEDITATION FOR PAIN RELIEF Jon Kabat-Zinn • Sounds True

Jon Kabat-Zinn famously launched Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction in a hospital basement more than 50 years ago—taking meditation directly to people in pain.

That the program is followed the world over and continues to grow daily testifies to the validity of its premise: that fully inhabiting this moment, “the only one in which we are ever alive,” has tremendous healing power, because we don’t increase our suffering by pouring energy into resisting and avoiding. It’s not a magic

bullet that makes pain disappear. Rather, it cultivates the habit of being with ourselves more fully, “turning toward what we most fear to feel.”

In this little guide, KabatZinn returns to his roots, in a way, speaking directly to the condition of ongoing pain, offering wise perspectives and an understanding of why mindfulness can help, simple pathways to practice it, and guided instruction that can help us discover that “with every in-breath we find a new beginning.” – BB

A Daily Mindful Walking Practice

from Mark Bertin

A Gentle Practice to Wind Down Before Bed from Sara Ivanhoe

Gentle movement and intentional breathing can be powerful ways to let go of stress. In this calming yoga practice we stretch, breathe, and release the tension of the day to come into a place of peaceful relaxation before drifting off to sleep. You don’t need any special equipment or clothes to get the most out of this practice. Simply show up in something comfortable and find a place to spread out.

3

The HALT Practice to Tune In to What Your Body Needs from Christopher Willard

In this classic check-in practice we take a break from our day to pay attention to what our body is asking for. Beginning with H, we investigate: Am I hungry? Then A: Am I angry or anxious? L: Am I feeling lonely right now? And finally, T: Am I tired? For each prompt, Christopher Willard offers examples of mindful ways to meet your needs and restore balance. – AWC

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read, listen, stream

PODCAST

reviews

To truly love ourselves, we must take care of ourselves.

TEN PERCENT HAPPIER WITH DAN HARRIS Episode: Kelly Boys This candid conversation between host Dan Harris and Kelly Boys offers insight on the work Boys does in the mindfulness space, often merging mindfulness meditation and non-sleep deep rest (NSDR) rooted in the practice of yoga nidra. Boys, who designed resilience programs for the United Nations, Google, and

San Quentin State Prison, also reveals how to reap the benefits of NSDR with only a few moments of practice. For one, she recommends bringing awareness to the entire backside of your body to welcome a sense of rest, evoking a feeling that “someone’s got my back or I’ve got my back or life has my back,” Boys says. – KR

MINDFULNESS FOR THE CULTURE Episode: “Leaning Into Community” In this brief, energizing episode, Sonia Raye Russell and David Lee Walker Jr. (cofounders of Special Sauce and developers of the BlackFULLness app) discuss how stressful times reveal the strength of our community, and of our practice. From Walker being in a car accident to the duo prepping for a key business meeting, they share how their past two

days were heavy on challenges—yet, “What could have been a disruptive day has been nothing less than beauty in action,” Walker marvels. That’s the power of the practice: When we “show up grounded, present, and aware,” the two remind us, we can experience grace, ease, and gratitude, even when things don’t go as planned. – AT

CALM IT DOWN Episode: “Asking for Help–The Why, the When, and Who” As in every episode of Calm It Down, soft piano music written and played by Chad Lawson welcomes the listener into a peaceful, compassionate space. This episode begins with an anecdote about John Lennon and the song “Help!” After writing the song, Lawson shares, Lennon realized that he had been calling out for help, but hadn’t known where to turn.

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The inevitable highs and lows of life bind all of us together.

So, why is asking for help so hard? Lawson explores this question and offers approachable steps for finding help when you need it. “Real strength is in recognizing when you can’t do it all alone.

Accepting that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather a window for connection,” he says. – AWC

BLACK PEOPLE BREATHE A Mindfulness Guide to Racial Healing Zee Clarke • Ten Speed Press

“Angry. Frustrated. Undervalued. Shocked. Sad. Attacked. Ashamed. Anxious. This is only a fraction of what Black people feel when we experience racism,” writes Zee Clarke in the opening line. And in lieu of waiting for sweeping change in racist systems and attitudes, she believes there is something else Black people can do to begin healing: practice mindfulness. “Please note,” writes Clarke. “Although this book is written for Black people and tailored to the Black experience in America, those of other backgrounds who experience similar challenges can also benefit from the tools that I will share.” Drawing on her own experience, Clarke generously shares how she’s applied mindfulness and breathing practices to racist and harmful interactions that, she writes, “Black people face on a daily basis as a direct result of the harsh impact of systemic racism, microaggressions, and overt hate crimes on our lives.”

In experiences of microaggression or triggering encounters with police, she recounts leaning on the Belly Breath practice for self-preservation and focused awareness. When deciding whether or not to code switch, she recalls the four questions from Byron Katie’s “The Work.” (These are only a few of the real-life scenarios covered throughout the book. Clarke also writes about bearing witness to the assault on Black lives, safety as a privilege, and imposter syndrome.)

Then, Clarke details how to apply these practices and more in a Mindfulness and Breathwork Toolkit featuring illustrations by Princella Seripenah.

“To my white friends,” writes Clarke in the closing of the introduction. “I invite you to educate yourself about the Black experience, with an intention informed by both empathy and action. I also invite you to think about what role you might play to accelerate change.” – KR

read, listen, stream

DRAMA FREE A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships Nedra Glover Tawwab • TarcherPerigee

Nedra Glover Tawwab’s first book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself laid the groundwork for a deeper look at the nuances and complexities of familial relationships. In Drama Free, Glover Tawwab gently guides us through our own journey of unlearning dysfunction, healing, and growing, with chapters dedicated to untangling complicated family dynamics and navigating relationships with more confidence. While Drama Free doesn’t strictly focus on boundaries, “they

are frequently highlighted as a way to thrive in family relationships,” writes Glover Tawwab, and the anecdotes, writing prompts, and ready-to-use conversation scripts throughout the book often offer guidance on how to set and respect boundaries. Each chapter explores a specific dynamic that may not relate to all of our experiences, but enough is covered (from relationships with parents and siblings to children and in-laws) for any reader to feel supported and comforted by the knowledge that they’re not alone. – KR

ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR BLACK MALE TEENS A Practical Guide for Parents On How to Help Your Teen Manage Their Emotions Kenneth Bourne In Anger Management for Black Male Teens, Bourne writes for parents, caregivers, teachers, activists, and anyone else who cares for young Black boys and men: “You are here because you are looking for answers, hope, and resources to address the emotional well-being of Black male adolescents.” And, to help us learn, he doesn’t hold back. Recognizing anger in Black men and boys is an opportunity to ask: What needs are not being met?

This book succinctly connects the history,

neuroscience, environments, and systems that most deeply affect young Black men and boys to give the reader a well-rounded understanding of the context. Then, he offers research and mindfulnessbased practices to help cultivate growth, resilience, and a sense of self-worth. Throughout, Bourne’s voice is one of fierce compassion and love.

He is prepared to reckon with hard truths and deliver the information and stories we don’t want to hear, but need to hear, so that we can care more and care better. – AWC

Self provides a perspective, a vantage point, from which you experience the world.

SELFLESS The Social Creation of “You” Brian Lowery • HarperCollins

When we talk about “the self,” particularly in mindfulness or personal growth circles, our community and relationships aren’t often a big part of the conversation. But this is exactly the angle from which Brian Lowery approaches the ages-old question of how we are to understand “our” selves. A Stanford social psychologist and the Walter Kenneth Kilpatrick Professor of Organizational Behavior, Lowery has spent decades researching unconscious bias and the impacts of how we perceive inequality, concerns that are present in his study of what makes up (and is always remaking) a self. “Selves don’t emanate from some ineffable light within people,” he writes. “Instead, selves are created in relationships.”

Our socially-perceived identities are multifaceted, and frequently in conflict within the same person—like, for himself, being a Black man (a marginalized identity) who is a Stanford professor (a privileged identity), Lowery suggests.

This complexity extends to our inner world: “I think of myself as someone committed to justice, someone who cares about equal access to opportunity, who places others’ life outcomes above abstract ideas. What could be more ‘me’ than the beliefs I hold most dear?” he asks, relatably.

Yet, “What if all this is bullshit?” he counters. “If beliefs and actions define you, it’s only because they have social meaning.” Blending psychology, philosophy, and sociology, Lowery relays the exploration of what a self is into questions about how selfhood relates to personal autonomy, the consequences of our actions, and the desire for a meaningful life. Lowery is remarkably skillful at making these potentially heady themes clear and accessible, and engaging with them makes for a rewarding journey. – AT ●

April 2023 mindful 71

point of view

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

by BARRY BOYCE, FOUNDING EDITOR

m

72 mindful April 2023

then back into the outskirts on the other side into more farmland and eventually wilderness. It was relaxing scenery to pass through on a lovely sunny day. Sadly, though, the towns showed lots of wear from decades of being marginalized.

Prior to our straying into the less-traveled areas, Ohio held one meaning for me. Now, it took on more complexity. Away from the glitz and buzz of airports and city lights, where many of us spend almost all our time when we travel, there is small-town life, and pain that comes from being at the margins, just as there is pain

ways, to exclude countless alternative perspectives. Not fake news or lies, just varied vantage points.

We are inveterate generalizers, just as I generalized my picture of Ohio—until my picture became more nuanced as I was forced to look in places I would not normally go.

With so much division emerging, now seems like an ideal time to commit to finding ways to get off the beaten track, and mindfulness can help us do that. First, in our minds, and then, perhaps in our actions. In mindfulness meditation, when our mind wants to go down the beaten

With so much division emerging, now seems like an ideal time to commit to finding ways to get off the beaten track, and mindfulness can help us do that. in those marginalized urban areas where tourists don’t go.

It taught me something about the insidious nature of the “beaten track”—the well-worn pathway we’re all pulled along on from repeated travel. It’s the proverbial oxcart path through the woods that centuries later becomes a superhighway. The same phenomenon occurs in our minds and in our social relations. In our brain and our central nervous system, as the saying goes, “As it fires, so it wires.” When the algorithm in our social media points our brain in one direction and keeps reinforcing it, neurons fire and lay down a path—a wiring pattern—that is easily repeatable. The pattern dictates what we see and how we see, and ultimately the choices we make. It’s how we learn to isolate and insulate, how we learn to see people in limiting

tracks of our habitual thinking, we don’t try to counteract or contradict it, we simply notice and don’t go there.

We come back to the breath and the body. When the beaten track invites us back, we choose openness and creativity.

Perhaps one question for us now is, Can we transfer that habit into our everyday lives more, and find ways to get out of our isolation and insulation and wander into unexplored places, so we can see a bigger and more complete picture of whatever Ohio we happen to be passing through? ●

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Barry Boyce is the founding editor of Mindful and Mindful.org and author of The Mindfulness Revolution. He has been an avid mindfulness practitioner for over 40 years.

ILLUSTRATION BY TOM BACHTELL

I was driving through Ohio with a colleague when the GPS informed us that we were facing an hour-long delay on the interstate. About 25 miles down the road, we would become ensnarled in bumper-to-bumper traffic, projected to crawl along at an average speed of a few miles an hour for an hour or more. At that point, I thought to call a retired firefighter I know who has worked throughout the entire state and knows it intimately to ask for his advice.

He rattled off several smaller roads and a series of towns we could pass through on an alternate route to our destination, one that was not offered by any of our high-tech phone apps.

If we went this way, he said, it would probably take even longer, but it would offer us a “fall foliage tour.” We agreed it might be just as well for us to get off the beaten track.

We left the high-speed monotony of the freeway and traveled eversmaller roads, up and down rolling hills and past farmland that COURSE stretched as far Come As as the eye could You Are see, punctuated with the Barry Boyce occasional house. leads a 7-day Eventually self-paced we would find mindfulness ourselves on retreat. the outskirts of a town, pass mindful.org/ through the diy-retreat stately town square, often decorated with fountains and statuary, and

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