mWidening Your Scope From Within

Meditation is one of those aspects of life that rewards an amateur’s approach, in the original sense of the word, an amator, one who loves. We do it not to become skilled, proficient, or professional, but out of a growing passionate curiosity about the nature of our mind. It rewards a beginner’s attitude, a willingness to not know, and to see oneself as a perpetual student. So, in some sense the middle of the path of meditation is more beginning, more opportunities for less me

In seeking to find those opportunities, though, we may also find ourselves wanting to share what we’re doing with more people—both in terms of introducing people to mindfulness practice and finding fellow travelers and guides. When you’re committing to this kind of uncommon inner exploration, it sure helps to have company. Mindfulness is extremely uncommon in the day-to-day world. So many things you encounter are trying to lure you into an experience that distracts you from being with yourself. With meditation, you are intentionally going inside and not hiding from what you find there. It’s nice to have friends, then, including ones with more experience. It can get lonesome. There be dragons within.

As we explore less me, we may also try to adopt more practices and put structure into the ways we weave practice and life together. In general, we reach in more, as well as up and out.

Reaching in more can take the form of periodic longer sessions of meditation. And if anything can be said to mark a transition from the beginning of the path of meditation to the middle, it’s breaking through the restlessness barrier and finding the simple ability to be with oneself longer without running away. This ability becomes the doorway to deeper exploration, both on your own and with others.

Eventually, inevitably, the point of mindfulness becomes how we relate with other people. Some people define mindfulness as close, focused attention, and define awareness (or panoramic awareness) as attention that takes in a greater scope, more of our surroundings, and more of what’s going on with others. At times, we need a tighter focus to rein in our wild mind; at other times, we can be looser and more expansive.

Our early explorations into our emotions may lead us to recognize a need to be, first, kinder to ourselves, and then to extend that kindness to others. We are motivated to do so because our mindfulness practice has likely put us in deeper touch with our pain and the pain of others. To the extent we have found relief, we want others to find that relief. It’s a gift we’ve received that we simply are bound to share with others. Our generosity may take the form of an actual material gift, ongoing encouragement, or the gentle suggestion to try some mindfulness.

Our reaching out may also take the form of applied mindfulness, which may be personal (like mindful parenting or deep listening) or societal (like mindful education or leadership), or a combo of both—the lines are not hard and fast.

Deepening Your Dive

As we reach up (developing more meditative skill and the byproducts of that skill) and out (connecting with more people and sharing our meditative gifts), certain pitfalls can begin to emerge. We may begin to become proud of our little meditative accomplishments. That’s the power of me creeping back in. It’s the beginning of starting to become a meditating asshole. You actually start to think that because you meditate (and/or practice yoga or whatever well-regarded beneficial thing you do), it means you are a big deal. You are not.

Another pitfall, particularly associated with helping others and cultivating kindness, is burnout and resentment. We forgot to take care of ourselves or we got caught up in the glory of do-gooding (there’s that damn me again). We hit a wall, and if we hit that wall hard enough, we can even be traumatized. I have seen the path of meditation come to a dead halt for people under these circumstances: What the hell was the use of all this work on myself and on helping others if this is how I ended up?

A beneficial principle at this point is that however much we reach up and out, we also need to reach down and deepen in equal proportion. It’s like a tree. As the tree grows up and out, it also has to send down deeper roots. It finds nourishment from above and from below. Deepening in this case means more of the basic kinds of practices we’ve relied on from the beginning: time spent paying simple attention, noticing our emotions, being kind to ourselves, kind to others. We need refreshment and restoration, water and nutrients from the earth. This basic image of the tree has been a powerfully helpful one for me, as I learn to let go of arrogance and overextending, repeatedly.

We can never stop learning that lesson.

As the economist John Maynard Keynes famously quipped, “In the long run, we are all dead.” So, what of ends? What is the end of the path of meditation like, what are the final stages?

There is no end. When would you stop cultivating peace, caring for others, love, and strength? The most I could say is to report what I have observed about people I admire who have had a very long relationship with meditation: They have a very light touch, a sense of humor, a carefree quality. While the world all around is obsessed with getting something, achieving something, getting better, they are bemused. They are compassionate, and yet they know that compassion goes way beyond being nice, that the most compassionate thing you can do is help someone to become less focused on themselves and their big ideas.

They couldn’t care less, the outcome doesn’t really matter, and yet… You feel their warmth embrace you. Perhaps there is so little me (clinging to self-centered concern) that there is virtually no me at all. ●

Guided inquiry (e.g., in MBSR, MBCT)

Habitchange

Contemplating the elusive nature of your identity

Examining purpose, values, & meaning

Contemplating impermanence & change

Selfcompassion

Nonviolent communication

INQUIRING PRACTICES

De-centering (less me)

Using your steady attention and awareness, you can investigate and deconstruct mental habits and patterns.

CULTIVATING PRACTICES

Lovingkindness

Empathy

Kindness

All of these practices are pollinated by kindness. You need to be kind to yourself from the beginning in order to connect more fully with the world around you.

Using your steady attention and awareness, you can foster aspirational qualities toward yourself and in the world.

FOUNDATIONAL AWARENESS PRACTICES always come back to your attention

Building from nonjudgmental attention, you practice gently expanding your awareness to the sensations of your body and the environment around you, while maintaining steady attention. This kind of practice may be guided by a teacher, especially when you’re learning to navigate more stimuli.

Cultivating Your Attention

Resting your mind on an anchor—most often the breath— is the root of your practice, which you continually revisit. Your innate ability to pay attention helps you become aware of your thoughts without judgment, and with kindness to yourself.

Eating

Tech & media consumption

Listening

Family & parenting

Relationships & sexuality

MINDFUL LIVING PRACTICES

Extending skillful awareness into your personal life.

SOCIETAL PRACTICES

First responders, doctors, & nurses

Performers & athletes

Deepening emotional intelligence

Birth & child development

Caring for the dying

Aging & elder care

Education

Extending skillful awareness into areas of society.

A Family Tree of Mindfulness Practices

Marriage & divorce

Work

Leadership

Social Justice

Here’s a sampling of mindfulness practices that can help you increase attention, cultivate good qualities, work to dismantle negative tendencies, and help you change the world. Take a seat and enjoy.