Sydney Sinks

WHO DOWE FORGIVE?

In the age of #MeToo, there are finally conversations—and consequences— surrounding sexual assault. But how does our society decide when perpetrators deserve restorative justice and who should be canceled for good? By Sydney Sinks

Everybody loves a redemption story. In our media, we like characters who are morally gray rather than black and white. We want to see rehabilitation and catharsis. We crave happy endings. But in real life, who deserves forgiveness? What if you do one of the worst things that you can do to another human being? In 2017, the #MeToo movement flooded social media after allegations against film producer Harvey Weinstein surfaced. The point of the movement was to show how widespread the problem is and to start a long overdue conversation about sexual assault. For the first time ever, people were facing backlash for sexual misconduct on a large scale, and our society vowed that those who weren’t convicted would, at the very least, be canceled.

Yet all too often, people who have been accused of sexual assault are unaffected by these allegations. Their names might be smeared, but their careers continue. Look no further than Washington, D.C. Brett Kavanaugh underwent one of the most publicized sexual assault hearings in history, and he still became a Supreme Court justice. Our 2020 presidential race was between two candidates who had sexual assault allegations against them, and it wasn’t even a debate topic.

Even worse, we often prioritize the futures of offenders over the healing of survivors, which is a major issue on college campuses. Stanford University student Brock Turner made headlines in 2015 after assaulting Chanel Miller. He was sentenced to six months in jail by judge Aaron Persky, who cited his belief that prison would have “a severe impact” on Turner as one of his reasons for the light sentence. Survivor Chanel Miller wrote that Turner had ruined both of their lives—and yet the potential impact of punishment on Turner’s life is what swayed the judge. Turner was released after three months.

Most people look down on offenders, and our knee-jerk reaction is to punish them. Though we might personally cancel perpetrators, our society often allows them to live without legal consequences. Others advocate for rehabilitation rather than punishment, and the movement for restorative justice is growing on college campuses and in the courtroom.

The question, then, is forgiveness. Who deserves to be forgiven, and can we support restorative justice while also advocating for the survivor? The answers are just as polarizing as you might think.

The question, then, is forgiveness. Who deserves to be forgiven, and can we support restorative justice while also advocating for the survivor?

Ruining Lives

Let’s play a game. Go to Google and type in, “The #MeToo movement . . .” Let autofill do the rest of the work. Notice that the suggestions include “needs to stop,” “is getting out of hand,” and “is out of control.”

One of the loudest arguments against the #MeToo movement is that it’s ruining lives. People argue that it’s a tragedy when careers are shattered by sexual assault allegations. They worry that their loved ones will face allegations and have their lives torn apart.

This is not a new viewpoint. The Brock Turner case was so shocking because it showcased this argument on a national scale. We learned that even our justice system prioritizes and protects offenders. We’re concerned about inadvertently ruining the offender’s life by punishing or canceling them. Meanwhile, we often disregard the intense impact that the offender has already had on the life of the survivor.

But while some believe that the #MeToo movement is too extreme, the majority of people would disagree or even argue that the punishment for offenders is not extreme enough. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), an American is sexually assaulted every 73 seconds. In a society where so many people are impacted or have loved ones who have been hurt, it’s no surprise that a conversation about forgiveness elicits strong reactions.

“It’s like, you raped that person? Oh, you deserve to be put in a guillotine and have your head chopped off,” Millikin student Savanna Prasun says. And she’s not alone in this sentiment. Most people subscribe to the eye-for-an-eye mentality, especially when it comes to violent crimes like sexual assault. Often, our impulse is to hurt people who have hurt others, which is why retributive justice—criminal justice that prioritizes punishment over rehabilitation—is so appealing.

But while a violent reaction might be instinctive, other people argue for a restorative justice approach. This is where forgiveness comes into play. Proponents of restorative justice support rehabilitation for criminals. As part of that, perpetrators are encouraged to face their victims and apologize to them. This alternative to retribution is gaining popularity throughout the U.S.

“Restorative justice, at its core, is based in indigenous justice (New Zealand’s Maori tradition and practice) where offenders face their victims, with representatives of the community present to witness the encounter, but also to participate,” writes Millikin criminal justice professor Dr. Kenneth Laundra. “In this form of justice, punishment for offenders is not the overriding goal. Instead, this form of justice seeks reconciliation, repair and a restoration of relationships.”

According to Laundra, key aspects of restorative justice are forgiveness and empathy. The public apologies can be “powerful moments of transformation” for offenders, and also help the survivor heal. Additionally, his research has shown that restorative justice results in lower rates of recidivism. While the practice of restorative justice for sex offenders is still controversial, Laundra feels that it can improve the lives of offenders and survivors.

“My research into [restorative justice] used in such criminal scenarios reveals that, because strong and brutally honest, emotional confrontations are often witnessed, a satisfactory outcome (measured in post-session interviews) is reported by most victims and offenders alike, with a stronger sense of resolution (and often genuine forgiveness) being reported by offenders, victims, and the community,” Laundra writes.

But even if an offender can be rehabilitated, even if they apologize to the person they’ve hurt, do they deserve to be forgiven? For a lot of people, the answer is still no.

“If you are out there, pushing something on somebody else, whether it be sex or something else,” Prasun says, “you don’t deserve jack shit.”

No Means No

Misconduct at Millikin

According to RAINN, 26% of women and 6% of men in the U.S. experience sexual assault during their undergraduate education.

Clearly, sexual assault and the #MeToo movement are major issues on college campuses— including Millikin. You most likely know people who have been affected by sexual assault, and you might even know someone who has pursued a student conduct hearing. Let’s break down the process at Millikin.

After making a report, the survivor has the final say about whether to proceed with a criminal complaint or student conduct hearing, or they can simply ask for resources to help them move forward. Millikin’s Title IX coordinators will work with students to help them get what they need.

There are major differences between conduct hearings and criminal cases. Student conduct hearings have an emphasis on equity and restorative justice, and the university has an obligation to both the survivor and the accused student. When a student is found responsible for sexual misconduct, the focus is not on punishment, but rehabilitation. The goal of a student conduct hearing is to help both students move forward and reach their educational goals.

Although sexual misconduct is a major issue on college campuses, it is severely underreported. In 2019, Millikin’s safety report noted zero sex offenses and only six instances of dating violence. The actual numbers are almost certainly much higher.

So why do so many people hesitate to report? Becca* didn’t want it to affect how other people at Millikin saw her. She was concerned that she would lose respect or be known as a “slut” or “that girl.” But she eventually told her RA, who helped her make a report to the university.

“I’m very much the type of person that I’m like, I don’t want to tell other people. And I was so ashamed of it, too,” Becca says. “But they were like, ‘It’s not your fault. We’re here to help you.’ They were very supportive . . . and [they] didn’t push anything. It was more, ‘What do you want? You lead this process. But here are your options.’”

After Becca reported, she received a list of resources on campus and in the Decatur community, and she found that everyone she talked to was discreet and supportive. They kept her updated on what was happening after her report. Because the offender was a staff member, the report went through Millikin’s HR department rather than a student conduct hearing, and it eventually led to the staff member stepping down. Becca decided not to pursue a criminal case. A year later, she had a meeting with a member of Campus Life and officially closed the case.

While Becca felt supported by Millikin, there is a difference between her case and the student conduct hearings. There are several stories of students who report and feel like their needs are not met, that their offender was erroneously found not responsible, or even that Millikin made their situation worse. But even so, Becca encourages students to report so that they have more options and access to resources.

“Once the people around you know about it, it feels less like you have this secret to hold,” Becca says. “I think just, you know, have the confidence in yourself and respect yourself through the process, and know that it’s not something you brought on yourself. I don’t know how to put it in words, that it’s going to be fine and that you just gotta keep going through it. And people are trying to help you. They’re not there to question you. They’re there to give you resources and make sure you have what you need to still succeed. Not only in college, but just, like, in life.”

Whether it is reported or not, sexual misconduct remains one of the leading issues on college campuses. For most students, the student conduct process is perhaps the most relevant example of restorative justice. But forgiveness is a lot harder to measure.

“I’m very much the type of person that I’m like, I don’t want to tell other people. And I was so ashamed of it, too,” Becca says.

*This student’s name has been changed to protect her identity.

Rehabilitation versus Redemption

Of course, the question of forgiveness goes a lot deeper than whether or not a perpetrator apologizes. The ways that our society views and labels offenders have a major sway over recidivism and rehabilitation.

The term “rehabilitation” often calls to mind people who are struggling with addiction. With hard work and support, they can overcome their struggles and go on to lead fulfilling lives. But Prasun is quick to highlight the differences between a heroin addict and a sex offender. To Prasun and many others, the idea of rehabilitation is not applicable to offenders.

“Rehabilitate rapists? They don’t fucking deserve it . . . This isn’t an addiction . . . You ruined your own life. And now you cannot fix it. It is not fixable, ever,” Prasun says. “These are people who are horrible people, who have no morals, who don’t deserve kindness.”

This, then, is our society’s prevailing opinion of offenders. A reaction like this is common, and pretty understandable for people who have witnessed the impact that sexual assault has on their loved ones. But while we tend to characterize offenders as “horrible people,” Laundra cautions against such labeling.

“From this perspective, it’s not so much the deviant or criminal act that is committed that counts but, rather, how the community responds to that act. So, when an act of deviance (like sexual assault) is committed, it is the society, community or group who dictate how that act is perceived and, thus, what consequences will befall the ‘offender,’” Laundra writes. “It can also transform the offender into a downward spiraling self-fulfilling prophecy where the offender submits to the label and begins to act in ways that confirm, or conform to, that label (reoffending). And the label ‘sex offender’ is probably the most severe label one can be given in our society.”

Even though most sexual assault cases never make it to the courtroom, our society is judge and jury. But of course, our society is historically wrong when it comes to social justice issues, and the handling of sexual assault and the rehabilitation or punishment of offenders is no different. Our biases play a major role in how we handle—or fail to handle—justice.

“I think even though we are a society of justice, or we preach that we’re a society of justice, we’re a society of vengeance,” Prasun says. She’s quick to point out that vengeance is not equally delivered. She cites the prison system as an example: With a drug charge, a Black person might get arrested, while a white person gets “a slap on the wrist” or community service. Similarly, wealthy people receive social backlash for crimes while poor people are jailed. The question of who gets canceled versus whose life is genuinely ruined often depends on your place in society.

Let’s take one last look at Brock Turner. A blond, blue-eyed Stanford student with Olympic swim team aspirations rapes a woman of color and spends three months in jail. He didn’t fit our typical (discriminatory) idea of who a rapist is. He was affluent and athletic. And the judge who gave him the light sentence was a Stanford alum.

Perpetrators like Turner are often able to move on with their lives with few consequences. There are a lot of issues with a justice system that punishes some and expects only an apology from others.

In the end, the question of forgiveness doesn’t have a clear-cut answer. It seems that while it’s hard to decide who deserves forgiveness, it’s ultimately our society—all of us collectively—that makes that decision. And some of us aren’t quick to forgive.

“I think even though we are a society of justice, or we preach that we’re a society of justice, we’re a society of vengeance,” Prasun says.

How Can You Report Sexual Misconduct at Millikin?

Tell a Millikin employee. All Millikin faculty and staff are mandatory reporters, which means they are required to report if they hear or see something. You can talk to a trusted professor or an RA, for example, and they’ll help you report it to the university.

Talk to a Title IX coordinator. Raphaella Prange (vice president for student affairs), Tammy Maxwell (assistant director of human resources), and Diane Lane (director of human resources) are all Title IX coordinators. They can help you access resources and make decisions about what to do next. They also can help orchestrate accommodations, including room reassignments, extra time to complete homework, or assistance in securing medical or mental health support. Email TitleIX@millikin.edu. You will receive an automated list of support services. Then, Raphaella Prange (vice president for student affairs) and Chris Ballard (director of public safety) will reach out within 12 hours to talk about what comes next.

If you want to remain anonymous, use the Campus Conduct Hotline. You can use the online portal (found under the “Employment” tab on Millikin’s website) or call 866-943-5787. You don’t have to provide any identifying information unless you want to. At the end of the report, you’ll receive a case number that you can use to track the investigation by calling the hotline and providing the number.