Endings and New Beginnings

Endings and New

In all of our lives, we have to make hard decisions. Saying goodbye changes us and can be difficult to work through. What determines how we handle these endings and what comes next is our ability to be resilient. Here at Millikin, members of our community have had to let go of important parts of their lives and are now moving forward.

Bianca Aguilar is a junior nursing major at Millikin University, also obtaining a minor in theatre. Theatre was the focus of Aguilar’s life for nearly seven years. Her middle and high school career consisted of auditions, practices and performances. But once Aguilar entered college, her parents encouraged her to prioritize career stability. That is when she decided to change her major to nursing and move theatre, her passion, to a minor.

“Theatre was a good way to express myself. I was an awkward person growing up, and theatre made me feel like I fit in somewhere,” Aguilar says. She was sorrowful when she began her life without theatre as its main focus. “It just sucked because I didn’t have the time for it anymore. I got sucked into adult life,” Aguilar states.

Aguilar believes keeping a minor in theatre helped her adjust. “While it is not the same as performing, getting to learn more about the technical side of things has been a good way to stay connected and move on at the same time,” she says. “It was just time for me to take the next step in my life.” Overall, Aguilar feels that giving up theatre was the best decision for her future, though moving on was difficult. Gary Cecil, success coach in the CAPP, feels the same way. Cecil used to center his life around football; he played for nearly 15 years. But his football career ended his freshman year of college when it came down to academics or athletics. As a first-generation college student, he knew he had a tough decision to make. “I’ve always been really competitive, and it was time that I got to spend with my friends. Whenever we all got

Beginnings

to win together, it was always fun to celebrate with them,” Cecil states. Ultimately, he decided that quitting football was for the best. “I didn’t go to school to play football, I went to school to get an education,” he says. “I was kind of fine with quitting because I didn’t leave football completely behind. I picked up coaching once I quit playing.” Cecil stopped coaching a few years later, and that’s when he realized sports had such a huge impact on his life.

Once Cecil graduated and started his career, he returned to coaching. He found a good balance between life and hobbies. While he still misses playing, he’s content with his decisions. “I know that I have reached my goal for where I wanted to be at this point in my life, so I know it was the right thing to do at the time,” Cecil explains. When it comes to moving forward, Cecil’s biggest piece of advice is to focus on balance. “Find a way to stay connected with the sport or hobby that you love,” he says, “but don’t let it distract you from your goals.”

As adults, we learn that not every beloved part of our lives we’ve lost is gone by choice. Many things in our lives are gone outside of our control. WJMU station manager and communication instructor Sam Meister has experienced this personally. Meister lost his father last August, and he’s working through the stages of grief and learning to move forward after the loss of a loved one.

Meister and his father always shared a bond, most commonly bonding over sports and movies. Through his childhood and into adulthood, Meister and his father would watch movies — usually Westerns — together and built a bond through shared interests. They often talked over the phone or texted when they would see something that reminded them of one another.

Meister expressed that being present when his father passed has helped him make peace with the situation.“It’s not like it was a prolonged death of watching him deteriorate over years, but it also wasn’t instant,” Meister explains. “Since it was a middle ground, it was slightly easier to deal with. We left no words unspoken and I stood next to him until the very end.” Good memories have been an important part of the grieving process. “Going through his stuff and finding objects that bring back memories for the family has helped. He was essentially a packrat,” Meister says. “I also enjoy watching our favorite movies or baseball games.”

Since losing his father, Meister has reflected on his life and looked forward at the years to come. Of course, you can never truly get over the loss of a parent, but he believes things do get better with time and sweet memories. “If there is some sort of all-encompassing knowledge, I hope I have made him proud,” Meister says.

Over the course of life, everyone experiences loss. Some things are beyond our control, and we must let go in order to build the best possible future. Take the time to grieve, move forward and know it will get better.

“ Move forward and know it will get better. ”