The Military Press Newspaper April 1, 2022

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Volume 47 • Number 4 • April 1, 2022

1953 Buick Roadmaster www.militarypress.com

1953 Corvette Convertible

“I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it”

– Dwight D. Eisenhower The Military Press Newspaper April 1, 2022 1

OUR MARKET STILL READS

By Richard Matz Publisher/writer

“We are not a Democracy, we are a Republic, if we can hold onto it.” – Benjamin Franklin which includes television, newspaper and social media support that 3% . Just to name a few … In television , ABC NBC CBS & CNN … And newspapers the LA Times the San Diego Union the Washington Post and the New York Times and social media such as Facebook Twitter , You Tube, Instagram and Tik Tok to name just a few.

Almost 100% of our readers consists of military personnel that are 40 years young and still read the Military Press.

We know that we’re one of the last conservative publications that love and honor our military, our law enforcement officers, and law abiding Americans who love America and our Constitution.

Benjamin Franklin said it best , and I quote” we are not a Democracy we are a Republic if we can hold onto it

Even though it seems like the majority of people believe in the progressive movement that supports left-wing ideas and philosophy ,it is not so ! It’s just a few , less than 3% that continually create controversy when it comes to anyone or anything that supports our Police , Our Constitution and American values ! Remember “ The squeaking wheel gets the Grease The sad thing is that almost all media

They all supported Black Lives Matter ( the organization ) Defund our police departments and the left wing socialist movements that have put our Republic in peril !

The Military Press has paid financially for supporting our Police our Military and American values and way of life.

We have lost advertisers who we desperately needed to support the newspaper. Last year 2021 we showed a profit of Twenty Three Dollars and the publisher( Myself ) has not had a paycheck in the last 2 years . But believe me I’m not crying because I know “

Freedom isn’t Free “ !

Money Making Readership If any of our readers have businesses and want to reach our incredible military ( money making ) market we would love for you to advertise in our paper . A lot of our military have as many as 3 jobs and received income from their military service and after 20 years their second occupation which they retire from and then their Social Security .

The MilitaryPress has been printing for close to 50 years and would love to have your support by advertising in our paper . We are not looking for charity as you will benefit financially by advertising and reaching our profitable military market !

For advertising call 858-537-2280

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2

In nature , a swamp has all kinds of venomous and ferocious creatures that if given half a chance will kill any and all of us human beings . So tell me this , is nature’s swamp any different than the Washington Swamp that kills and is killing the American people and their spirit along with our economy .

Any intelligent Americans must now realize what a tremendous mistake it was to put Joe Biden and company into the presidency . With inflation at an all-time high , with food prices soaring and gasoline at over $6 plus per gallon it’s impossible for low and middle income families to make enough money to sustain these ever increasing costs .

When you come to think of it there isn’t a middle class in America anymore .

Middle and low income families can no longer afford to buy most necessities like food , clothing , housing and energy to protect their families from losing everything , which includes their health and their homes !

Personalized Advising from Military-Trusted Advisors



With the knowledge that we now have of both political parties , Republicans and Democrats we realize what Pres.

Trump meant by cleaning out the Swamp . When you think about his 4 years in office and how he and his family were treated by the Democrats , the Media and by his critics Republicans included , you realize his ego which was bigger than life must have protected him from going crazy !

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So who is to blame , during Trumps administration , with half of the American population against him … ( Which I do not believe ) it was the media and the 3% Left-Wing Socialist Squeaking Wheels that bashed Pres.

Trump and his family every hour of every day for his entire 4 years in office.

Of course we know the old saying “ the squeaking wheel gets the grease “ and in this case the Left Wing Socialists with the help of Main Street Media were able to have enough grease to eliminate

Pres. Trump from his 2nd term .

Most of us believe and hope that Donald Trump runs for the presidency in 2024 and restores his promise to make America Great Again . Remember a lot of countries in the world and their leaders did not like Pres. Trump but they feared him and respected him and knew he kept his word . He not only pushed NATO to pay it’s fair share , defeated Isis , had good relations with Russia and China and North Korea and there were no wars going on ! America became ( for the 1st time ) energy independent and gas in California was $2.34 cents per gallon , we had a strong economy along with increased employment , not

for just a few but for all Americans of all colors and creeds .

One thing we must remember that a lot of our senators and congressmen when elected have a total income worth about a hundred thousand dollars and in a matter of a few years become millionaires / multi-millionaires , some with a net worth over three to four hundred million on a salary of about $170,000 per year .. So go figure !

These politicians are both Republicans and Democrats with water wings so they can float in the swamp year after year deceiving the American voters by professing their love for America , the Constitution and are enriching them

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selves off the sweat of the American people , the constituents who voted for them. The only way to stop these swamp dwellers is to impose term limits in all the houses of our government which includes the Supreme Court .

Anyone has the right to disagree with me and I do respect their opinions but common sense tells us all to look at what president Trump did for this country and what Joe Biden has failed to do from his very 1st days in office.

No matter if Donald Trump gets elected again or whoever gets elected their main priority must be to drain the Washington Swamp !

The Military Press Newspaper April 1, 2022

3

Publishers memoirs

MY COUSIN THE MULE

Back in 1966 I was working for the Los Angeles Times and received a call from my lovable but criminal cousin Ronnie Brown . He said he had won a lot of money and he and my brother Howard were coming to California to visit me. After the call I contacted my brother and he said that Ronnie indeed had won $24,000 in a crap game and was also carrying $25,000 from the mob to deliver to a man at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. I hadn’t seen my brother in over 3 years and was looking forward to seeing both of them . My brother Howard didn’t have much contact with Ronnie as they were the odd couple … Ronnie the master thief and my brother as honest as the day was long .

I lived in Redondo Beach and on Thursday morning I got a call from my brother saying that he and Ronnie got in late Wednesday night and were staying in a motel on the waterfront in Hermosa Beach which was a 10 minute ride from my house. I told my brother after I was done work at 5 PM I’d meet them at the motel .

When I got to the motel I was very excited to see my brother and my cousin after not seeing them for 3 years . After our greetings my cousin Ronnie said he had a present for me and it was in the large trunk over in the corner of the room . He said go open it up that I’d be surprised . When I opened the trunk a10 foot boa constrictor jumped at me and I almost fell through the glass door in the motel room overlooking the ocean . Ronnie crack up laughing as the snake slithered out of the trunk while I was having a heart attack . He grabbed a quilt off the bed, through it over the snake and jumped on it . These 2 giant fangs came through 4

the quilt but Ronnie managed to put the snake back into the trunk . He then took us to dinner at a restaurant on the Redondo Beach pier.

We had a great time at dinner catching up on the past and then he said they were renting a car and going to Vegas friday morning and could I come . I told him I had to be at work by 8:30 on Friday morning and I couldn’t come . He then said “ I’ll buy you a round trip flight to Vegas Saturday morning and you can join us at Caesars Palace . I said great I’ll see you guys in Vegas.

Friday morning I got a call while I was at work from my brother and he said that Ronnie had put the 10 foot boa constrictor in the bathroom to scare the maid that had to clean up their room in the morning.

The snake had completely covered the shower curtain pole from one end to the other but in the morning when Ronnie checked the snake was missing , it had gone down the toilet.

He was really pissed off because he wanted to take the snake that he bought at The Hermosa Beach nreptile shop back to Pittsburgh to scare all his friends back there .

Saturday morning I took the flight went to Caesar’s Palace and met Ronnie and my brother on the casino floor . Ronnie gave my brother and me $500 apiece to gamble with and he then took off to a blackjack table . After about an hour I had won about $200 playing craps and then I went over to the blackjack table that

my cousin was playing on . He was the only one at the table and there were 2 or 3 security guards behind him to keep any other players off the table . Ronnie saw me and told the guards let me at the table and then told me to play his hand . I looked at the cards and they total up to 17 and I also looked at 5 $100 bills and said that I didn’t want to play the hand as I had never played blackjack for more than 5 or $10 a hand .

He laughed and said how are you doing , do you need any more money , I told him that I was $200 ahead of the 500 that he gave me . He’s said great go have some more fun .

I join my brother and he also was a few dollars ahead of the $500 that Ronnie had given him and them we got a page over the PA system to meet Ronnie at the elevators leading up to his room . When we met him he asked us if we wanted to have some girls meet us at our rooms … I can’t lie the thought was titillating but we both said no we were going to go have something to eat . Ronnie called the bell captain over and said he would like a girl to meet him at his room. The bell captain said “ what does she look like “ and Ronnie said how the hell do I know I’ve never seen her. The bell captain said “ let me rephrase this … What do you want her to look like ,,, blond brunette redhead and what type of body. Ronny said someone that looks like Elizabeth Taylor and the bell captain said fine she will be up to your room within a half an hour .After my brother and I ate we received another page to meet Ronnie in his room . We knocked on the door and he said come in and sure enough there was a beautiful girl that resembled Elizabeth Taylor . She said come on boys that have some fun it will only cost you $100 each, Ronnie said “ I’ll pay .. we laugh and said no thank you.

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Howard and I went back to the casino and played for about 3 hours and we both were winning two or $300 more than what Ronnie gave us . Howard then explained to me that Ronnie was carrying $25,000 to hand over to a man by the name of Doc Carney . Howard also told me that the mob rather than send one man with $250,000 it was better to send 10 men with $25,000 each that way if one of them got caught the mob would only lose $25,000 . He said let’s go back and see if Ronnie has met with Doc Carney and turned over the envelope with the $25,000 in it . When we met Ronnie he not only lost his $24,000 he also lost the $25,000 in the envelope. Howard told Ronnie you better page Doc Carney and tell him what you just did or we were both immediately jumping on a plane and going home.

Ronnie page Doc Carney and within minutes this well-dressed man met us on the casino floor . He said “ you paged me “ and Ronnie replied “ yes .. I’m black I’m blue and I’m brown all over “ that was to let Carney know that Ronnie was a mule from Pittsburgh and had the envelope to hand over to Doc . Ronnie then said I have a sad story to tell you , I’ve gambled away all your money and mine too .Carney said “ where did you lose the money and Ronnie said right here at the blackjack table.

Carney said wait here a minute and he walked over to the pit where the black jack table was snapped his fingers and 3 or 4 dealers immediately rushed over to him. He then left and we presume he went upstairs and looked at the cameras and then returned to us and said to Ronnie “ your lucky you lost it here.. You lost a total of $42,500 dollars and I’ll get back the 25,000 that you were supposed to give to me . Now let me ask you a question have you paid for your rooms and do you have transportation back to Pittsburgh . Ronnie said yes… then Doc Carney said this will never happen again, he then turned and walked away.

Ronnie asked Howard and myself to give him back the money that he gave / loaned us which we did including our winnings , later on that night he proceeded to lose every dime that we gave back to him Sunday morning when we woke up we only had enough money for breakfast and cab fare back to the airport . Our planes were leaving … their’s to Pittsburgh and mine to Los Angeles only 15 min. apart . Ronnie said to my brother and me “ What a fool I’ve been … Howard and I thought yeah … in 1966 you could’ve bought and paid off 2 brand-new houses for that $45,000 that he lost . Yeah Ronnie said again what fool I was for putting the snake in the bathroom in Hermosa Beach never once mentioning the $45,000 Dollars . www.militarypress.com

The Military Press Newspaper April 1, 2022

5

1959 PLYMOUTH

1953 OLDSMOBILE

Average Cost of new house $9.550.00 Average wages per year - $4,000.00 Average Cost of a new car - $1,650.00 Average Cost of Rent $85.00 per month LB of Hamburger Meat 53 cents Kodak Brownie Flash Six-20 $13.00 Eggs per dozen - 27 cents Chain Saw $225.00 Cost of a gallon of Gas 20 cents

< US President Dwight D. Eisenhower

What happened in 195?

Significant News Events Queen Elizabeth II crowned Queen, Korean War Ends, FBI rounds up communist leaders, First Polio Vaccine Developed, First color television sets go on sale, First Corvette car goes on sale, First James Bond novel Published 1953 saw the growth of the buy now pay later mentality with car makers leading the way by allowing longer and longer periods to pay for your new car. Queen Elizabeth II crowned queen of England. The unions gained strength with more and more workers belonging to unions, with

wage and price controls ended and unemployment at 2.9% the increases in standard of living continued to grow and appear to have no boundaries. A teachers average salary was $4,254 and a pound of round steak was 90 cents. The first color television sets appear selling for $1,175, and transistor radios start to appear for sale.

United States - Canada - St. Lawrence Seaway is completed.

The Antarctic Treaty is signed in Washington It was signed by twelve countries.

The Luna 2 spacecraft crashes into the Moon.

The Film Ben-Hur premieres.

First Pictures Of Earth From Space Taken By Explorer 6.

Popular Culture

1953 FORD Crestline

Ian Fleming publishes his first James Bond novel, Casino Royale in the United Kingdom

Popular TV

Tony Bennett

Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet

Nat King Cole

Playboy Magazine’s 1st issue features Marilyn Monroe as its first cover girl and nude centerfold.

I Love Lucy

Jim Reeves

The Lone Ranger

Cliff Richard

New York Yankees win fifth world series in a row

Popular Singers

Ella Fitzgerald

The Film Ben-Hur premieres in New York City

1953 cadillac eldorado

1953 CORVETTE

Percy Faith Perry Como Frankie Laine Patti Page

1953 lincoln capri 1953 CHEVROLET - 3100

1953 CHEVROLET 6

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The TheMilitary MilitaryPress PressNewspaper NewspaperApril April1,1,2022 2022

77

COMMENTARY

RACISM

McDonald’s introduced drive-through service due to the military.

You’re more likely to get a computer virus from visiting religious sites than porn sites.

According to research from security firm Symantec, religious websites carry three times more malware threats than pornography sites.

Symantec found that the average number of security threats on religious sites was around 115, compared to adult content sites which carried around 25. In fact, only 2.4 percent of adult sites were infected with malware. The researchers hypothesized that’s because porn sites need to generate a profit, so there’s a financial incentive to keeping them virus-free to encourage repeat business.

The first McDonald’s Drive Thru was installed in a restaurant based in Sierra Vista, Arizona, located near the Fort Huachuca military installation. Military rules forbade the soldiers from wearing their military uniforms in public, and they weren’t about to change into civilian clothes just to grab a burger and run back to base, so restaurant manager David Rich came up with a solution: cut a hole into the wall and allow members of the military to pick up their orders without stepping out of their car. The convenience and simplicity of the idea quickly caught on.

There is a species of jellyfish that never dies.

Known as Turritopsis dohrnii—or colloquially, the immortal jellyfish—this sea creature is able to revert back into its adolescent state after going through adulthood, a “process that looks remarkably like immortality..

You typically only breathe out of one nostril at a time.

You might think that your nostrils share the workload when it comes to taking in oxygen.

And while they do, it’s not quite in the way that you might expect.

Instead of both taking in the same amount of air when you breathe, you actually inhale most of your oxygen through one nostril at a time. Every few hours, the active nostril will take a break and the other one will take over until they ultimately switch back again. Try it for yourself!

8

Ohio DUI offenders must use yellow license plates.

The standard Ohio license plate is white with navy blue letters and numbers, and a red border at the top.

That is, of course, if you don’t have multiple DUIs. Since 1967, Ohio has issued special yellow license plates with red characters to DUI offenders. As of 2004, these “scarlet letter plates”—or “party plates”— are mandatory for repeat DUI offenders, and whenever a driver’s blood-alcohol level is twice the legal limit.

While there is public shame that comes along with these license plates, it also helps the police spot these vehicles when patrolling highways.

“ I have a dream that my 4 little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character” – Dr. Martin Luther King Can

product

men with white women but very few

companies or ad agencies force feed

use black women with white men .

minority commercials to the general

This seems to be a double standard .

public to change attitudes of racist

It might please the black man to see

in our country or are they creating

a black man with a white woman but

more racism than we now have . If

on the other hand it might have just

Along with being strong and flexible, bamboo can be grown as a decorative plant or a practical crop.

And bamboo is also a fabulously renewable resource. In fact, it’s the fastest growing plant on the planet, capable of shooting up 35 inches each day at a rate of 0.00002 miles per hour, according to Guinness World Records.

someone is racist it’s because they’re

the opposite affect on having a black

either ignorant or uneducated or both.

woman with a white man .

The fuller the fridge, the more energy-efficient it is.

Bamboo grows so fast, it’s measured in miles per hour.

An empty fridge not only makes it more difficult to decide what to snack on, it also wastes valuable energy. It works like this: the more empty space in the fridge, the more cold air is displaced by warm when you open the door, requiring the appliance to generate cool air to replace it. If the fridge is packed, less cool air escapes and less energy is required to replenish it. The writers at The Kitchn go so far as to advise fridge owners to fill empty bottles with water in order to displace the empty air.

The Military Press Newspaper April 1 , 2022 www.militarypress.com

corporations,

large

Changing the mindset of racist people is like trying to change water into wine

Economics plays a very large part

has changed over the last hundred

and his quote “ I have a dream that my

and as we know only Jesus had that

in eliminating the likes and dislikes

years, for the better … not the best

4 little children will one day live in a

ability .

that people have for one another no

… but for the better ! One of the most

nation where they will not be judged

matter what the color of your skin is .A

loved, respected and brilliant man,

by the color of their skin but by the

on

persons character is more important

that helped to change the minds of

content of their character

television feature blacks to advertise

than the color of their skin . To

Americans was Dr. Martin Luther King

and sell their products and the new

prove this point there is tremendous

sitcoms have increased tenfold even

adulation for sports figures like Tiger

though black’s are only 17% of the

Woods , Michael Jordan

population. There is absolutely no

Mahomes

question throughout the years that

Richie, Smokey Robinson,

minority

been

Jackson, Mariah Carey and Beyonce.

commercials,

comedians like Richard Pryor, Eddie

movies, and television but it’s a little

Murphy, Dave Chappelle and Kevin

late to make amends by producing

Hart and of course President Obama .

Over

75%

of

commercials

populations

misrepresented

in

have

Patrick

, musicians like Lionel Michael

too many black commercials that may be more harmful than good .

Change takes time no matter what the issue and change cannot be forced.

A lot of the commercials use black

We all

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The Military Press Newspaper April 1, 2022

9

sports news

CHARGERS REPORT:

AFC West could now be the best

By Art Garcia (Jr) Happy New League Year AFC West!

Having won six consecutive division titles, the Kansas City Chiefs will now face serious competition from the Chargers, Broncos and Raiders after each franchise made major upgrades via free agency and trades when the new league year officially began March 16.

Last season marked the fourthstraight year the Chiefs were in the AFC Conference Championship Game.

However, in a division that sent two teams to the post season last year and the trade of star wide receiver Tyreek Hill to the Dolphins, the Chiefs now have a much tougher path to the title in perhaps the toughest division in the NFL. As we go to print, here is a look at the moves each team made and a much-to-early letter grade and AFC power ranking given by CBS sports writers Cody Benjamin and Jeff Kerr, respectively.

Los Angeles Chargers: Grade A; Rank 4th.

Additions: EDGE Khalil Mack, CB J.C. Jackson, DT Sebastian Day-Joseph, DT Austin Johnson, LS Josh Harris, TE Gerald Everette, P J.K. Scott.

Retained: WR Mike Williams, QB Chase Daniels, DT Christian Covington, K Dustin Hopkins, TE Donald Parham, WR Jalen Guyten, OT Storm Norton.

Key: Familiarity. The Bolts finished one game short of the postseason under first-year head coach Brandon Staley.

Acquiring players who previously played under Staley (Mack, Day-Joseph, Everette) and resigning in-house players to keep paired with Keenan Allen and Austin Ekler should elevate quarterback Justin Herbert to league MVP consideration entering his third NFL season and second year playing in Staley’s scheme. In Mack and Jackson, the Chargers landed an impact pass rusher and the top-rated cornerback on the market.

10

Cat & Mouse

Limbless Man

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said, “I’m terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you.” The woman replied, “Well that’s alright with me, but how good is your ass at catching mice?”

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, “No.” The woman said, “Well, what’s wrong?” The limbless man said, “I’ve never been hugged by anyone ever.” So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. “Are you okay now?” she asked. “No,” the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, “I’ve never been kissed before.” The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, “Are you okay now?” The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, “I’ve never been screwed” The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, “Now you are!”

American Tourist

Denver Broncos: Grade A; Rank 7th.

Additions: QB Russell Wilson, DE Randy Gregory, OL Tom Compton, LB Alex Singleton, DT D.J. Jones, OG Ben Braden, QB Josh Johnson.

Retained: DT DeShawn Williams, LB Josey Jewell.

Key: Wilson provides the Broncos with their first franchise quarterback since Peyton Manning, who retired in 2016.

With running back Javonte Williams and receivers Courtland Sutton and Jerry Jeudy, the offense should be vastly improved. Jones and Gregory solidifies an already stout defense.

An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn’t wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, “Excuse me, do you know what time is?” The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, “4:30.” The American asks, “How do you know that?” The Mexican replies, “Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street.

Publisher/Editor: Richard T. Matz Assisatant Editor: Lisa Matz Design: Trevor Watson Distribution: Dennis Wink Contribiuting Writers: Doug Aguillard, Art Garcia Contact Us: Tel 858-537-2280 333 S. Juniper St., Suite 103 Escondido, CA 92025 Distribution: Distributed on the 1st of each month. Available aboard all San Diego County Military Bases, Onboard in-port ships, at participating Albertsons, Ralphs, CVS Pharmacies and 7-11s.

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3 Military Guys There were 3 military guys ..an Air force pilot ..a sailor and a marine They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The pilot swam trying to make it to the other shore he swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The sailor swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The marine swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Jill Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He’s tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can’t help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears.

On the bottom are small teddy bears,

on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn’t afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gets wild and makes love to him in every position possible .In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, “How was that?” He nods and says, “Not too fricken bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!”

Amputated Arm A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to kill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My ass is itching and I can’t scratch it!”

Smart Corporal There were 10 army privates and 1 corporal hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. They all decide

that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the corporal delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.” The privates were all moved by the speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Putins Message After numerous intelligence reports of Putins demise “Biden said I don’t know if Putin is still alive,” Putin himself decided to send Biden a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Biden opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Biden was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.

Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, “Tell Biden he’s holding the message upside down.”

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Two Terrorists 2 terrorists walk in a bar and talk The bartender asks whats the talk about Terrorist 1 - we are going to kill 14k people and a donkeyBartender- why a donkey? Terrorist 2- see I told you noone would care about the 14k people.

25 cents A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”

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