Military Press, May 15, 2018

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Saturday, May 19 Entertainment schedule Barona & Sycuan Stage USA Taekwondo Center, 1:30-2 p.m.

Chase Ave Folklorico, 2:30-3 p.m.

Great Musical Sounds, 3:30-4 p.m.

Old School Skaters, 4:30-5 p.m.

CYT, 6:30 pm Wasan Jarbo Folkloric Dance, 7-7:30 p.m.

El Cajon Business Partner Stage

STAR-SPANGLED SALUTE

Jack Straw Band 2:30-5:30 p.m.

Beach Break Band 6-8 p.m.

Parkway Plaza Stage Marissa Grace, noon-12:30 p.m.

Culture Shock, 1-1:30 p.m.

Danza Mexi’cayotl, 1:30-2 p.m.

Super Sonic Samba School, 2:30-3 p.m.

Naruwan Taiko Drummers, 3:30-4 p.m.

Guitar Give Away, 6 p.m.

Euphoria Brass Band, 6:30-8 p.m.

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El Cajon celebrates Armed Forces Day

l Cajon’s annual festival that celebrates patriotism and the city’s diversity will be held downtown on Saturday, May 19.

This year’s theme for the fourth annual America on Main Street event is “A Salute to Heroes,� and takes place on Armed Forces Day. The festival will run from 2 to 9 p.m. on East Main Street and Rea Avenue, between Magnolia Avenue, Ballantyne Street and Avocado Avenue.

Before the festival begins, the city will host a naturalization ceremony at 1:30 p.m. for new U.S. citizens. The night closes For a complete list of attractions, go to with a laser light show.

This year’s event will feature more than www.americaonmainstreet.org.

30 live entertainment acts on three stages

1942

remember when...

and street performances. There will be an Armed Forces Day tribute with a military Coast Guard flyover at 2 p.m.

There will also be more than 150 interactive displays, informational booths, food from around the world, arts and crafts, nonprofit exhibitors, handmade goods, carnival rides and games, a sports zone, a scavenger hunt and a chili cook-off. “America on Main Street is one of my favorite events all year,� said Mayor Bill Wells. “It’s a chance for the whole family to get out and have a good time, and it’s all free. El Cajon is the place where people all over the world live together. This is our chance to show off our cultures to one another, share music and food with each other.�

America on Main Street has replaced the city-sponsored International Friendship Festival that ran from 1991 to 2003 and ended because of budget constraints.

The two-day Friendship Festival was held the third weekend in September. It drew more than 100,000 people every year. America on Main Street, an idea spearheaded by City Councilman Gary Kendrick, has drawn more than 30,000 people for the one-day event each of the last four years. “We’ll have more food vendors than ever,� Kendrick said about this year’s event. “It’s a fantastic, patriotic familyfriendly event that celebrates our diversity.

And all the rides are free. That is our gift to the children of El Cajon.�

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NFL DRAFT RECAP Page 2

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GRADING THE AFC WEST DRAFT CHOICES Chargers strengthen the team’s defense

CHARGERS REPORT

by Art Garcia Jr.

A

lthough you can’t really judge a draft class until the players prove their worth on the field, every year pundits give letter grades to each team in the days following the draft. Despite not drafting a quarterback (which many believed the Chargers would), General Manager Tom Telesco and the front office received high reviews from many of the top NFL analysts for the players they selected. Rather than focusing on just the Chargers, in this issue we look at how DraftWire graded the entire The Chargers picked up USC’s Uchenna Nwosu in the NFL Draft.

AFC West with comments from reporters Luke Easterling and Chris Thompson. starter upside out of this class, not more needs at corner and interior defensive line interior help. Dylan Cantrell is solid, but weren’t adequately addressed. Chubb and Luke Easterling: there were so many better options on the Sutton will have to carry this group, but board at receiver. Still, James alone is they’re up to the task.

Los Angeles Chargers — B+ When you get a top-five prospect (Der- enough to carry this group. win James) at No. 17 overall, that’s getting Kansas City Chiefs — Ca draft off on the right foot. The Bolts got Denver Broncos — B When you don’t have a first-round pick, more value with a similar player in the Things started out great with Bradley it puts that much more pressure on every fourth round (Kyzir White), along with Chubb and Courtland Sutton, who were other selection, both in terms of addresssome versatility and toughness for the great value picks, even if they didn’t fill ing needs and getting proper value. While front seven in between those two picks their biggest needs. It was a roller-coaster there were some value picks along the way (Uchenna Nwosu, Justin Jones). from there, with head-scratching picks (Derrick Nnadi, Armani Watts), this group Getting Justin Jackson in the seventh (Isaac Yiadom in the third) sandwiched in had a high percentage of head-scratching round was one of this year’s better bar- between a steal or two (DaeSean Hamil- picks. They waited too long to address the gains at running back, and while Scott ton in the fourth was fantastic). corner spot, and a sixth-round pick isn’t Quessenberry is a solid depth piece, the Overall the value after the first two picks likely to fill the void left behind by Marcus Chargers really needed a tackle with some just didn’t stay at the same level, and their Peters. No edge rusher, and they needed a

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bigger, more physical choice at linebacker to replace Derrick Johnson. Breeland Speaks in the second round was a luxury pick this team couldn’t afford without a first-day pick.

Oakland Raiders — D+

Jon Gruden and company may have landed the biggest steal of the entire draft with Maurice Hurst in the fifth round, and even that’s not enough to save this grade (he’s the plus). After reaching for one raw offensive tackle in the top 15, they did it again at the top of the third round. In between those picks, they opted for a smallschool defensive lineman who should have gone a couple of rounds later.

Arden Key’s upside was worth the risk later in the third, and Marcell Ateman was a bargain in the seventh, but the rest was as off-the-wall as you might expect Gruden 2.0’s first draft to be. They even took a punter in the fifth round.

Biggest Losers?

While Easterling gave the Broncos and Raiders draft class a letter grade of B and D+ respectively, Chris Thompson believes both organizations were amongst the losers in the 2018 draft.

Chris Thompson Denver Broncos

This could be a winner for the future but as of today, it’s hard to understand several of the Broncos picks. While Bradley Chubb was a star selection in the first round, Denver had several needs to address on the offensive side of the ball if they truly wanted to compete in 2018.

DRAFT CHOICES, continued on Page 12

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Navy volleyball players save two lives at Mayport beach By Lt.Cmdr. Chad Murphy U.S. Armed Forces Sports Â

HURLBURT FIELD, Fla. — As elite military volleyball players from around the U.S. armed forces competed for victory at the 2018 Armed Forces Volleyball Championship, they might not have known they shared the court with four live-saving U.S. Navy Sailors.

On the afternoon of May 5, All-Navy Volleyball players Chief Petty Officer Aniahau Desha from Hilo, Hawaii, Hospitalman Gaston Yescas from Tucson, Ariz., Petty Officer 1st Class Sheldon Lucius from Pearl City, Hawaii, and Petty Officer 3rd Class Joshua Essick from Harrisburg, Pa. risked themselves to save the lives of two teenage girls at Naval Station Mayport beach.

These sailors bravely responded to cries for help from beach goers stating that two people were in trouble 75 yards off shore.

Understanding the peril at hand, these sailors entered rough surf conditions to retrieve the endangered swimmers. “I was on the beach with my wife, and everyone showed up there, Josh, Sheldon, and Gaston. We’d just sat down, and some ladies came up the beach were yelling for help, seeing that the girls were out in the waves, needing help. They were in trouble, so we just ran into the water and got them,� said

All-Navy Volleyball players Chief Petty Officer Aniahau Desha from Hilo, Hawaii, Hospitalman Gaston Yescas from Tucson, Ariz., Petty Officer 1st Class Sheldon Lucius from Pearl City, Hawaii, and Petty Officer 3rd Class Joshua Essick from Harrisburg, Pa. risked themselves to save the lives of two teenage girls at Naval Station Mayport beach.

mer ashore, ensuring her safety, while Es- her up, I noticed that she wasn’t breathing.

Desha.

Upon reaching the teenagers, one of the sick and the others carried the unresponsive It was obvious that she wasn’t breathing. I girls was holding on to her unresponsive swimmer up onto the beach.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS, continued on Page 8 “When we got on shore, as soon as I picked friend. Lucius pulled the conscious swim-

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ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE THE ‘LIFE OF THE PARTY’ McCarthy’s latest is hilarious and worth a second watch

By Jeri Jacquin MilitaryPress

T

he hilarious minds of Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone are at it again along with Warner Bros. for another chance at being “Life of the Party.�

Deanna (Melissa McCarthy) and husband Dan (Matt Walsh) are dropping off daughter Maddie (Molly Gordon) for her final year at college. Excited about their upcoming trip to Italy, Deanna is thrown a curve pizza when Dan announces 50 feet from the dorm steps that he wants a divorce.

Deanna is thrown to learn that he has been having a fling with a real estate agent named Marci (Julie Bowen). Going to her own parents, Sandi (Jackie Melissa McCarthy is charming and funny in “Life of the Party.�

Weaver) and Mike (Stephen Root), they get her degree in archeology. Maddie is argue sandwiches and not finishing col- — daughter Maddie.

Deanna announces that she is going happy but uneasy about sharing the college. That’s when Deanna makes a decision that needs one other persons input back to school to finish the last year and lege life with her mother. Thrilled for her is bestie Christine (Maya Rudolph) and Maddie’s friends Amanda (Adria Arjona), Debbie (Jessie Ennis) and Helen (Gillian Jacobs).

Moving into the dorm, roommate Leonor (Heidi Gardner) is a little Goth and a little sunshine deprived. Immediately, Maddie and the girls decide that Deanna needs to experience a college party.

After a quick change of appearance, she $ meets Jack (Luke Benward) and wakes to the morning walk of shame.

Quickly, Deanna gets into the groove of studying, being part of the girls’ lives and occasionally meeting up with Jack.

Keeping Christine informed of her antics, she learns that ex-hubby Dan is already making plans to get remarried.

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Leave it to the girls to make sure that she doesn’t spend that day alone, but after a few party favors they take their act on the reception road.

That sets into motion the news that Deanna doesn’t have the money to finish college. Of course, needing a reason to have a party in college isn’t a required, but this might be the exception!

McCarthy as Deanna is sweet, charming, motherly and a tad embarrassing, but don’t let that fool you when it comes to being protective. She has her ways of making sure that no one changes who she wants to be, so don’t let the curls fool you. McCarthy delivers comedy that is so relatable and, in fact, the character of Deanna is someone we all know.

Well, maybe not the tacky sweaters, but LIFE OF THE PARTY, continued on Page 9

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READERS LOVE ‘ALEX & ELIZA’

By Elise Cooper MilitaryPress

“Alex and Eliza� has taken the world by storm. Whether the play by Lin-Manuel Miranda or the novels by Melissa De La Cruz, people are craving for more information about the Founding Father Alex- ander Hamilton and his wife Eliza Schuyler. The first in the series, “Alex and Eliza,� and its sequel, “Love & War,� emphasize the romance more than the historical, as the author brings to life the love story of these two Revolutionary figures. “Alex is a creation based on a historical figure,� De La Cruz said. “I consider him someone I made up from the real person. These are characters. They may be historical figures, but they are also characters of my imagination. I think that Alexander Hamilton never went by the name ‘Alex.’ There is no way Eliza would call him ‘Alex,’ and more likely called him Mr. Hamilton till the day he died.�

In the first book, “Alex and Eliza,� the plot spans the years from when they first met in 1777 to their marriage in 1780. Because there is not much information about Eliza,

the author had to take liberties to construct a story that was somewhat accurate, weaving together fact and fiction.

Hamilton is seen as a smitten, dashing knight who sweeps the princess, Eliza, off her feet. But it is also a “Prince and the Pauper� story since Hamilton was an orphan who did not have a name or financial means. The bright, ambitious, but penniless Hamilton is drawn to practical Eliza, falling deeply in love. His prestige comes from being the aide-decamp to Gen. George Washington.

Eliza is seen as a strongwilled, sharp-tongued, sarcastic and intelligent woman. She wants to marry for love, not prestige and wealth, but will not go against her parents’ wishes. A book quote shows how powerless women were during those times, “It is a cliff, a drop into some unfathomably deep and foggy abyss‌ a shipwreck.â€? Yet, in the end, love wins out, and her parents accept Hamilton as a suitable husband. “I wanted to write it as a perfect American fairy tale,â€? De La Cruz said. “Elizabeth (Eliza) was the princess coming from one of the most prestigious and richest New York families. Then there was Alexander

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Photo Caption / Credit

Hamilton, a handsome, brilliant, brave, and charming war hero who had no name and no money. I thought about how someone like him could marry someone like her.�

Readers will get a glimpse of the time period: how they dress, eat, and live are described in great detail. For example, a scene in the book has Eliza helping to inoculate Washington’s troops with a smallpox vaccine. Fiction, Eliza did not have a hand in it, while, the truth is that the soldiers were inoculated. Another factual scene has a description of Eliza’s dress, with “skirt, under-

skirt, petticoat, slip, and ankle-length, formfitting pantaloons.� “I am fascinated with the time period including the architecture, dress and what they ate,� the author said. “What I wanted to do is find the facts and then incorporate them into scenes of the books. I myself tried to understand who they were, how they lived, and how they partied. I enjoyed finding the details that help to bring this story to life.�

ALEX & ELIZA, continued on Page 8

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‘Yes, we believe that the Nazis and the Fascists have asked for it — and they are going to get it. ’ Franklin D. Roosevelt 32nd. U.S. President Served March 4, 1933 – April 12, 1945

New “Casablanca� premiers in

Henry A. Wallace

33rd. U.S. Vice President Served Jan. 20, 1941 – Jan. 20, 1945

World events

t U.S. and Phlippine troops fight the Battle of Bataan against the Japanese Jan. 1. t Japan declares war against the Netherlands on Jan. 11 and ivades the Dutch East Indies. t Nazis at the Wannsee Conference in

Berlin on Jan. 20 decide the “Final Solution to the Jewish problem� is relocation and later extermination. t The first American forces arrive in Europe on Jan. 26, landing in Northern Ireland. t C.S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters� is first published Feb.1. t Lt. Edward O’Hare becomes America’s first U.S. Navy flying ace of World War II on Feb. 20.

C.S. Lewis publishes “The Screwtape Letters�

York.

t The Bataan Peninsula falls April 9 and the Bataan Death March begins. t The Allies burn the main oil fields of Burma as Japanese forces reach Yenangyaung on April 17. The battle would end two days later in Allied victory. t Tokyo is attacked April 18 by the Doolittle Raid, a small force of B-25 bombers commanded by Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle. t The Reichstag meets for the last time April 26, dissolving and proclaiming Adolf Hitler the “Supreme Judge of the German People.� t The Allies win the Battle of the Coral Sea on May 8. It is the first battle where two enemy fleets fight without seeing each other’s ships.

t The Japanese naval advance in the Pacific is halted June 7 with an Allied victory at the Battle of Midway. t On her 13th birthday, Anne Frank makes her first entry in hew new diary June 12.

Her family would go into hiding July 6. t The systematic deportation of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto begins July 22. t British forces arrest Indian leader Mohandas Gandhi in Bombay on Aug. 9. t The Battle of Stalingrad begins Aug. 23 as German troops reach the suburbs of Stalingrad. t The first A-4 rocket is successfully launched Oct. 3 from Test Stand VII at PeenemĂźnde, Germany. The rocket flies 147 kilometres wide and reaches a height of 84.5 kilometres, becoming the first manmade object to reach space. t The Battle of Guadalcanal ends Nov. 15.

Although the United States Navy suffers heavy losses, it retains control of Guadalcanal. t The Allies issue the Joint Declaration by Members of the United Nations on Dec. 17, the first time they publicly acknowledge the Holocaust.

U.S. News

t More than 1,400 shells are fired at a slow-moving object in the skies over Los Angeles on Feb. 25, triggering a wartime blackout over most of Southern California.

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Cadillac Series 60

1942 COST OF LIVING

Anne Frank starts her diary.

t President Roosevelt signs a bill creating the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps (WAAC) on May 15. t The first African American seamen are taken into the U.S. Navy on May 20. t The Office of War Information, a propaganda center, opens June 13 in the United States. t The movie “Casablanca� premiers Nov. 26 at the Hollywood Theater in New York City.

Movies t t t t t t t t t t

“Casablanca� “The Talk of the Town� “Bambi� “Jungle Book� “Now, Voyager� “The Black Swan� “Mrs. Miniver� “Cat People� “To Be or Not to Be� “A Night to Remember�

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t “Sleepy Lagoon,� Harry James t “(I Got Spurs That) Jingle, Jingle, Jingle,�

Kay Kyser t “A String of Pearls,� Glenn Miller t “Blues in the Night,� Woody Herman t “Jersey Bounce,� Benny Goodman t “Deep in the Heart of Texas,� Alveno Rey

Music

t “White Christmas,� Bing Crosby t “(I’ve Got a Gal In) Kalamazoo,� Glenn Miller t “Tangerine,� Jimmy Dorsey t “Moonight Cocktail,�

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ALEX & ELIZA Continued from Page 5

The second book in the series, “Love & War,� has the Revolutionary War still prominent, although it is coming to an end. This story shows the struggles of early married life as Alexander Hamilton is trying to make a name for himself to prove himself worthy, while Eliza is trying to make her way into high society.

The story delves into the same problem many young couples face, even today, how Alexander Hamilton has a burning ambition, and Eliza is trying to find her place in this world. At first, he was off to war, leaving his newlywed bride with her family, and then at the war’s conclusion, he starts up his law practice, spending long hours, and basically neglecting his wife.

Unlike the first book, this one does have more of a balance between romance and history. It delves into the topics of unemployment, financial crises, and the political divide. As a lawyer, he took on many loyalist clients, arguing for reconciliation and challenged the laws that penalized them. The story touches on the three views of political thought for this young nation: Hamilton believes in a strong central government; Jefferson’s belief is a middle ground of limited government except for national security, and those like Governor George Clinton who wants each state to have absolute control. With a quote that is relevant today, the author shows the divide among Americans, “We will only stand if we learn to accept and even embrace each other’s differences rather

than allow them to divide us.� “I made up the case he argues but it is based on many similar cases. He became known after the Revolution as someone who defended those loyal to the Crown. After the War, many wanted to take the Loyalists’ property and position. He had the foresight to know that to be the United States of America everyone had to be a part of this country.�

Readers get a glimpse into the real personality of Eliza. How Hamilton is growing to depend on her as his psychological anchor, where she views his enemies as hers.

There is a fictional scene in the book where she calls out Governor Clinton as she defends her husband, “This man whose hand I hold and whose ring I share put his life on the line for this country over and over‌â€?

This is a very similar tone to what actually happened when she told former President James Monroe, “If you come to tell me you repent, that you are sorry, very sorry, for the misrepresentations and the slanders and the stories you circulated against my dear husband‌â€?

The dialogue in this novel creates an atmosphere that fluctuates between joy and anger whether between husband and wife or between the three Schuyler sisters. It delves into how each must face their trials and tribulations.

Because the play implies an attraction between the oldest sister Angelica and Hamilton, “I wanted to write my own vision. I have a sister and thought ‘no way would she like him in a romantic way.’ They were sisters who loved one another. Angelica adored

Eliza. In this story, I do not have Angelica and Hamilton attracted to each other in that way. I remember telling people that LinManuel is not a girl with a sister or he would know it just would not happen. I do not think Angelica would ever do that because she took the role of older sister seriously. Of

course, he was close to the sisters, but in a brotherly sort of way.�

These books are charming and interesting. The two characters have a voice and a personality that are engaging. Hopefully, people will be drawn to find out more about the early history of this great nation.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS Continued from Page 3

checked for her pulse -- there was no pulse.

So we immediately started chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth,� said Desha.

Desha and Yescas conducted CPR until emergency rescue personnel arrived on scene to relieve them. “Since I’m a corpsman up to date with the CPR certifications and all, and I was also a lifeguard for eight years, this was honestly like a normal drill, I would say, because I’ve been in a lot of incidents likes this,� said Yescas.

When asked about the Sailors’ impact on the day’s events, officials close to the story responded. “Two teenagers are alive today as a direct result of [these Sailors’] quick thinking, bravery and composure under extreme pressure,� said All-Navy Men’s Volleyball Coach Gilburto Bermudez.

First Coast Fire and Emergency Services Assistant Fire Chief Thomas Lyszkowski echoed the sentiment, saying the swimmer found unresponsive had been released from the hospital. “Because of the actions of these Sailors, she’s alive,� he said.

“Those Sailors put others before themselves, and did so at great risk to their own safety,� added First Coast Fire and Emergency Services Fire Chief Mark Brusoe.

Yescas said, “It makes me feel great to hear that she made it out alive. Her mom sent us a message on Facebook to let us know that she was getting discharged, and that her daughter was going to write us a letter and send us a picture just saying thank you for what we did.� “It’s an amazing feeling knowing that this girl’s going to see another day because of what we did. For the parents, especially, and as a parent myself, I couldn’t imagine hearing the news that something happened to my daughter, and if someone was there to help, I’d like them to do the same for me if it was my child. So, I’m pretty honored,� said Desha.

The All-Navy men’s volleyball team went on to compete against the Army and Air Force teams at annual the AFVC through three days of round-robin competition, to eventually crown the best volleyball players in the military.

A HERO’S WELCOME, IN HONOR OF ARMED FORCES DAY | MAY 19, 2018 You Impact Our Lives In Profound Ways, Let Us Help Open The Door To A New Home So We Can Impact Yours. California West wishes to express its gratitude to our active and veteran military, school teachers, nurses, firefighters, police officers, and other community service heroes by offering a “Welcome Home� Credit* on the purchase of a new residence at S.L. Rey in Bonsall. Visit the S.L. Rey Sales Center today and we’ll do our best to help you get into a beautiful new home with the same level of dedication and service you provide to our communities each and every day.

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8 .BZ

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SHOW YOUR SUPPORT TOO! CALL (858) 537-2280 LIFE OF THE PARTY Continued from Page 4

the situation of loving being a wife and mother until you realize one of those wasn’t real. McCarthy is a gal I’d love to hang out with. Plan to laugh at the movie — A LOT! Rudolph as Christine is the best partner-in-crime to have and will take a body shot while still loving you. Living a tad vicariously through Deanna, Christine doesn’t have it so bad at home.

I mean, any husband who gets hot about his middle-aged wife in ankle socks doesn’t have much to complain about in life. Rudolph is funny and another chick I’d love to hang out with.

Gordon as Maddie isn’t completely thrilled to discover mom is going to share her final year of college. Once seeing her friends are on board with it, Maddie knows mom isn’t trying to take anything from her. Jacobs as Helen is a big disturbing and completely hilarious.

Ennis as Debbie and Arjona as Amanda completely love having Deanna around.

Benward as Jack loves having Deanna around for completely different reasons!

Gardner as Leonor is completely misunderstood, but takes a ninja-like liking to her dorm mate. Weaver as mom Sandi just wants everyone to have a sandwich and dad Mike just wants to shoot Dan — typical parents.

Walsh as Dan is a dude who is liter-

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ally being led around by his — ummm — earring. Bowen as Marci is a woman who demands control of every aspect of her life and her soon-to-be-husbands as well. Jones as Christine’s husband Frank goes along to get along!

Other cast includes Sarah Baker as Gildred, Nax Faxon as Lance, Shannon Purser as Connie, Chris Parnell as Mr. Truzack, Debbie Ryan as Jennifer, Jimmy O. Yang as Tyler, Leli Hernandez as Mia, Yani Simone as Trina, Damon Jones as Frank, Michele Jang as Linda, Chris Cavalier as Eugene, Christina Aguilera and Ben Falcone as the Uber Driver. “Life of the Party� is completely hysterical, full of surprises and loaded with

charm and oh so much fun. I would expect nothing less from McCarthy and Falcone, who seem to just embrace the silliness of life. The cast is just perfect, lending their own unique characters to a loaded film of funny.

I have a sneaking suspicion I’m going to have to see the film again because there were times I was laughing so hard I missed a line or two. “Life of the Party� is a film I absolutely won’t mind seeing again and again.

In the end — give life the old college try!

Jeri Jacquin is the Movie Maven. For more on films and television, go to http://moviemaven.homestead.com. .BZ 9

Just for

Laughs Heaven and the MP

Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?� “I was a police officer,� he responded. “What kind of police officer?� Saint Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.� “Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.� He asked the second man what he did as a police officer. “I was a traffic officer,� said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.� “Welcome to heaven. You may enter the you’ll have lost at least five pounds.� gates.� He asked the third man what he did When the woman returned, she shocked as a police officer. the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “I was a military policeman, sir,� replied “Why, that’s amazing!� the doctor said, the man. “Did you fol“Wonderful! low my instrucGot a funny joke you want to share?

I’ve been waiting tions?�

Send it to jokes@militarypress.com. for you all day!�

The woman replied Saint nodded. “I’ll tell Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the you though, I thought I was going to drop gate, will you?� dead that third day.� “From hunger, you mean?� “No, from skipping.�

Skip a day A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

Delusions “I want you to eat regularly for two days, Late one night at the insane asylum, one then skip a day, and repeat this procedure inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!� for two weeks. The next time I see you, Another patient asked, “How do you

my. know?�

The first inmate said, “Because God told me!�

Too much thinking Just then, a voice from another room There are three girls at a bar, a red head, shouted, “I did NOT!� a brunette and a blonde.

They have a seat at the bar. The bartender says, “If you go into the bathroom Bragging about dad Two small boys, not yet old enough to there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and be in school, were overheard talking at the tell anything in your life that you believe is true. zoo one day. “If you are telling the truth then ‘POOF’ “My name is Billy. What’s yours?� asked a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then the first boy. ‘POOF’ you’ll disappear.� “Tommy,� replied the second.

So the red head goes in first and stares “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?� asked Billy. deeply into the mirror and proclaims, “I think that I am the most beautiful woman Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.� in the world!� “POOF� a hundred dollars “Honest?� asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind�, replied Tom- pops out.

Then the brunette goes in. “I think that i am the smartest woman in the world.� “POOF� a hundred dollars pops out.

Now it’s the blonde’s turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror.

She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, “I think...â€? “POOFâ€? ‌ she was never seen again.

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SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

5. Scribble 6. Reflected sound 7. Oozes 8. Shred 9. Xylophone 10. Creative work 11. Small island 12. Dregs 15. Nigerian monetary unit 21. Purges 23. Mongrel 25. Defrauds

27. Modify 28. Eagle’s nest 29. Japanese apricot 31. Affording grounds to sue 32. Crazy 34. South southeast 36. Flower stalk 39. A type of large sandwich 40. Anagram of “Lyme�

43. Low-pitched 44. Break

46. Poems 47. Pander 49. Graven images 50. Spotted cat 53. Challenger 55. Car 56. Baby’s bed 57. Anger 58. Arid 60. Avid 61. Former lovers 64. Prefix meaning “Modern�

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The Military Press is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Publishing LLC, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.

.BZ 11

DRAFT CHOICE Continued from Page 2

Offensive guard and tackle have been two major needs for Denver after an abysmal 2017 season.

With several quality linemen still on the board, naturally, the Broncos went for offensive weapons and ignored their line needs by selecting wide receiver Courtland Sutton and running back Royce Freeman.

Sutton is a big-bodied receiver that can be a major threat in the red zone by boxing out cornerbacks. Still, Denver has a pair of quality receivers in Demaryius Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders, they’d also drafted Carlos Henderson to play outside last year.

Freeman is decent running back with solid vision in the open field but comes with an injury history and was heavily used in Oregon’s offense over the past four seasons. The offensive line needs have still not been addressed and heading into day 3, there’s little promise for a game 1 starter.

Both Sutton and Freeman might pan out but behind that offensive line, the Broncos The Chargers started the draft with Derwin James from Florida State. will still have the same misfortunes. lected Sam Houston State’s PJ Hall.

Hall is a quality defensive tackle but Oakland Raiders The John Gruden era is not starting off likely was a day 3 selection. A good athlete well in Oakland. After trading back and but a small frame, Hall might be best used selecting UCLA tackle Kolton Miller, Oak- in sub package formations rather than beland went to the other side of the ball and come a three-down player.

In round three, after trading up with the selected a defensive tackle when they se-

Ravens, the Raiders once again added another offensive tackle, this time in the form of Brandon Parker. While Parker’s size and the overall frame fits what teams look for in an NFL tackle prospect, his footwork is horrendous while his inability to deliver a proper punch makes him a project for the future. Both these players could have been selections for the Raiders on day 3.

LSU’s Arden Key might be a decent pickup if he could return to 2016 form but overall, there’s been too many reaches by the Raiders in the first two days of this draft.

Undrafted Free Agents (UFAs)

In addition to assigning a letter grade to each of the 32 teams’ draft classes, Pro Football Focus (PFF) also listed 10 UFA’s it expects to make an impact on their respected teams this upcoming season.

One of the players mentioned is Texas Tech QB Nic Shimonek who signed with the Chargers as a UFA following the draft.

Whether he gets cut, becomes an NFL journeyman quarterback or eventually replaces Philip Rivers as the starter remains to be seen. However, the staff at PFF likes Shimonek’s chances of making it in the NFL. PFF — “After deciding against drafting a quarterback through the first seven rounds, the Los Angeles Chargers brought in a former Texas Tech quarterback Nic Shimonek, our 11th-ranked signal-caller

in the class, as an undrafted free agent.

And despite his draft status, he has a strong chance to be much more than a camp arm. “While Big-12 defenses may have inflated his collegiate production, Shimonek ranked inside the top-five among drafteligible quarterbacks in overall adjusted completion percentage (771.), adjusted completion percentage against the blitz (77.8) and deep-pass adjusted completion percentage (58.8) in 2017, metrics independent of defenses and rather more indicative of the quarterback individually.

He also earned a career-high 86.3 overall grade this past season, ranking 18th among qualifying FBS quarterbacks.�

The Endzone: A few days after the draft, ESPN Draft Analyst Mel Kiper Jr. listed six rookies (three on offense and three on defense) drafted in Round 1 whom he felt would become instant impact players. For Kiper, safety Derwin James fits the bill, “This might be the steal of the draft. Chargers defensive coordinator Gus Bradley coached Kam Chancellor in Seattle, and James has the same kind of traits. He’s fast. He’s physical. He can play multiple positions. I expect James to step in at strong safety on a defense already loaded, with pass-rushers Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram. Los Angeles did allow 4.9 yards per carry last season, which ranked last in the league, but James should help in run support.�

UMUC Salutes Our Military Heroes VERNON GREEN JR. Master of Science, Cybersecurity Technology U.S. Army Veteran

Vernon Green Jr. brings the values he learned in the military to his service in the community.

When you talk to military people about heroism, they’ll often tell you about something greater they’ve been a part of.

During his time in the U.S. Army, Vernon Green put his cybersecurity training to work as part of a team managing a large tactical information network.

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UMUC salutes the members of our military who inspire us in their daily service. Who inspires you?

Share your story about a servicemember who made a positive impact on people’s lives at umuc.edu/militaryheroes or share your hero’s story using #militaryheroes.

Š 2018 University of Maryland University College

12 .BZ 18-MIL-012 NMAM Military Base Print Ad_Military Press_HRR2-1.indd

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