2013 Heroes at Home

Honoring our unsung heroes for their strengths, many sacrifices and commitment to our Hampton Roads community

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MILITARY NEWSPAPERS OF VIRGINIA

Photos above courtesy of Department of Defense

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Our Strength Together Military spouses by definition come from a world of various backgrounds. By our very label, we only have a seeming shred of a thread in common. What could seem more disassociated than our spouses job in common? And more disconnected than that, our spouses’ jobs are all over the board. Some are in the air, some are on the water, some are on the ground. Some are in offices here in the states, some are in combat zones. All we seem to have in common is our spouses’ employer.

It’s strange when you think about it. What if articles were written about the spouses of employees at a certain Fortune 500 company?

It’s really rather giggle worthy. What if families of a nationwide, publically traded company lived together in little housing groups?

What if we talked about Such and Such Corporation spouses as if they could all have the same struggles, the same issues, the same concerns?

And yet, by definition, that’s what connects us. Yet, when you talk to the five women listed in this section, these five finalists for the Fort Lee Heroes at Home, these five notewor-

thy military spouses, you will note that the thread that binds them is far stronger than a line on their spouses’ paycheck.

Sit down for just a few moments with each of them. Ask them where they’re from, ask them what they always wanted to be when they grow up, ask them about their childhood. The answers will be as varied as they can be. Ask them about their last move, ask them about the last time they felt overwhelmed or stressed, ask them about what they care about. Ask them about what keeps them up at night, ask them what gets them up in the morning. The stories become eerily similar.

You’ll hear about pride and tradition. You’ll hear about separations and difficult decisions.

You will hear about really full calendars and carefully planned schedules.

Ask for a little advice. That’s where it will get really interesting. From every background and every life, the advice for success as a military spouse is so similar.

They all talk about staying busy and pouring yourself into a cause, to distract yourself

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2013 committee included: from the frustration and loneliness. They talk about fleixibility and prerpation. They talk about staying positive and truly enjoying the adventures ahead. They mention the stresses military life puts on marriage, but also focus on not putting additional stress on marriage by blaming the service member. They all encourage priority making and putting lots of attention on family time and personal time.

And ironically, they all talk about their personal passions and various interests.

We aren’t all the same people. We don’t come from the same place and we don’t all have the same experiences. But our journey is shared and our goals are the same. It all comes down to love – for each other, for our families, for our spouses. That’s the tie that binds.

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Jessica Naccarato Spouse of SFC Paul J Naccarato | NA-CA-RA-TOE | Instructor | PWD, R CO, 262nd QM, 23 BD Tell us briefly about your background/experience as a military spouse. We have been married for 13 years. We have moved a total 10 times. We have gone through three deployments together, two with the Army and one with the Marines. My experience with the military has been a great one. I think we get to be reminded how amazing it is to have time with your loved ones in a way that most people who are not with the military will never understand.

FORT LEE’S

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How do you balance family/work/military life? I think that we work together well as a team. We (my family) all help each other make sure that we all are able to accomplish the different goals we want to reach and it is together that we are able to make it all work.

What do you do to support other military spouses/ families? Through my volunteer work, I try to reach out and help as many people as I can. Be it through teaching AFTB or working with the EFMP or Gold

Thank you.

Star Mothers teaching line dancing. A little bit of time can go a very long way in helping another spouse or family.

Volunteer Service Highlights: I am a current volunteer at ACS here on Fort Lee and work in many different areas there, mostly with the EFMP. I teach AFTB classes and have been a delegate at AFAP. I have been in every position in the FRG from Leader to Secretary.

I won the Helping Hand Service award in 2003, and I am a member of the Order of Molly Pitcher 2011.

I received the Presidential Volunteer Service Silver Award in 2013.

Words of Wisdom/Advice for Other Military Spouses: To put themselves out there. Volunteering is a great way to make friends who have common interests and to network. Remember that the time in the Army can be as amazing as you choose to make it, so choose to make it a great experience.

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4 • FORT LEE HEROES AT HOME • May 16, 2013

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Congratulations TO THE 2013 HEROES AT HOME NOMINEES! DENTISTRY FOR THE CHILD, ADOLESCENT & HANDICAPPED • MEERA A. GOKLI, D.D.S. Graduating with honors from the University of Richmond, Dr. Gokli has continued to make significant achievements in her field. She is Board Certified by the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry and served as President of both the Virginia Society of Pediatric Dentistry and the Virginia Board of Dentistry. Dr. Gokli teaches at MCV/VCU and is a Board Member of Children’s Hospital.

• DAVID L. KEETON, D.M.D. Dr. David Keeton received his undergraduate degree in biomedical engineering from VCU. He then completed dental school at the University of Kentucky and fulfilled his pediatric dental residency at the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio. He is Board Certified by the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry and has hospital privileges at Children’s Hospital of Richmond. He is also active in several local and national dental associations.

• STEVEN R. LUBBE, D.M.D. Dr. Steve Lubbe has been in Pediatric Dentistry since he began working in his father’s dental practice at the age of 10. He attended Centre College before attending the University of Kentucky College of Dentistry. Dr. Lubbe feels very blessed to be working with young people and a great office staff.

ORTHODONTICS FOR ADULTS & CHILDREN • APRIL L. BRIDGES - POQUIS D.D.S. Dr. April Bridges-Poquis is a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of the University of Virginia and graduated 2nd in her class from the Medical College of Virginia’s School of Dentistry. She completed her post-graduate training in orthodontics at MCV and is a member of several professional dental and orthodontic associations

• CHAD SCHANILEC, D.D.S. Dr. Schanilec is a graduate of The University of Iowa College of Dentistry. After completing his postgraduate training in Orthodontics at MCV, he served as a full time professor. He is currently a member of several professional dental and orthodontic associations.

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Karen Grube Spouse of CPT James (Jim) Grube | GROOB Aide de Camp to BG Daly, Commandant, US Army Ordnance School Tell us briefly about your background/ experience as a military spouse. My husband left for basic training shortly after we got married nine years ago. Since then, we’ve moved to six duty stations and experienced two year-long deployments. He’ll be leaving for a third deployment next month.

How do you balance family/work/military life? For me, balance comes from well-defined priorities. The more intentional I am about the things I commit to, the less unnecessary stress I add to my life. Therefore with each new season, I reassess my priorities. First I seek God since He is the one that has called me to this life in the military. And as I strive to be a strong wife and mother I must remember that any other voluntary roles are good, but secondary. The demands on a military spouse can be stressful, but when my priorities are clear I avoid saying “yes” to too many things when “no” might be the best answer for me and my family.

What do you do to support other military spouses/families? Most of us know firsthand that the military can be a lonely place if no one reaches out to you. I look for opportunities to be friendly and helpful, especially those new to the area. I’ve had many young wives over to the house to explain the simple (“What is a battalion?”) and the confusing (“How the heck do I PCS?”). Or I’ll meet someone at the playground and let her know about activities in the area and on post that might interest her family. When a moving truck shows up on the street there are so

many ways to help whether a family is on its way in or its way out. Just last week, a neighbor borrowed our home for a few days during naptime since we all know movers can’t easily accommodate a tired toddler. Often, though, it’s the times when a friend is having a hectic day and her husband is TDY, and she has no family close-by – that’s when the military community is at its best. It’s easy to adopt a few extra kids for the afternoon to ease the burden. They’d do the same for me.

Volunteer Service Highlights: I am currently serving on the Executive Board of the Protestant Women of the Chapel as the Programs Chair. Through them I facilitate a weekly Bible study and prior to that, I served on a few of their committees. This past year I have also been teaching Children’s Church for Chapel Next. Before our move to Fort Lee, I have been an FRG leader twice and am trained as an AFTB instructor.

Words of Wisdom/Advice for Other Military Spouses: Find someone who has been doing this longer than you, that you respect and has an optimistic outlook on life. Watch them and learn from them. Mentorship is something that we hear of often in the professional world, but it is just as important in the real-life world. When you surround yourself with wisdom and experience, you’ll have people in your life to challenge and encourage you. I think most would agree that it’s the friendships that get you one from one PCS to the next. Choose those relationships wisely.

May 16, 2013 • FORT LEE HEROES AT HOME • 5

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Raven Whitley Green Spouse of SSG Timothy Green | GREEN | Instructor | PWD, 262nd QM, 23 BD Tell us briefly about your background/experience as a military spouse. Ten years of marriage, four moves and one coming up this summer as well as three deployments.

How do you balance family/work/military life? I am a freelance writer and I am lucky to be able to work at home and have flexible hours. That is essential for me as a military spouse and special needs mom.

What do you do to support other military spouses/ families? As a “MilSpouse,” mother, freelance writer and special needs advocate, my goal and passion is to bring awareness to military families, special needs and female writers. This is my opportunity to get my voice heard, to bring families together and make a change TODAY, this YEAR, for everyone. “Unite” is my 2013 word and I want to unite families and bloggers to use this great Internet/Social Media for GOOD and for changing lives and helping others.

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Volunteer Service Highlights: I am the owner/ writer at Ms. MommyHH6, focusing on moms! All moms, especially military moms and special needs moms. There is a weekly profile on a special mom.

Product and book reviews are also a weekly staple.

I am also the founder/group leader of MOSNAB: Moms of Special Needs Army Brats and the founder of Operation United Hearts (Blogger Group that raises funds for military emergencies in need).

Words of Wisdom/Advice for Other Military Spouses: Make your own path. Find a hobby, a career or do volunteer work. Your husband will deploy and be absent. You need your own identity, and you need to feel accomplished and fulfilled WHILE you support him. Make a difference in the community, be a role model for your children and leave the world a better place for them.

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6 • FORT LEE HEROES AT HOME • May 16, 2013

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Spouse of SSG

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Katie Marie Gunia Tell us briefly about your background/experience as a military spouse. I have known my husband for the last eight amazing years.

I became a military spouse July 31, 2010. We have been married three years in July and have moved two times from Army PCS. I have moved two additional times due to housing relocation to make a total of four moves in the last three years. Out of the eight years I have known my husband, he has spent three years deployed.

I am able to direct them with questions they have in their personal life to ease their ability and allow them to concentrate on being a soldier and not worry about their children all day. Outside of work I see families on base who stop and ask me questions about activities and local attractions. My husband and I have volunteered through the military, helping park clean-up missions, raising funds for events, and participating in FRG meetings and events at previous duty stations.

How do you balance family/work/military life? Balancing family, work and military life has had such a major impact on my life. I work full time as an administrative assistant on Fort Lee. I am a full-time graduate student and a full-time wife. Balancing our hectic work schedules with the military life makes it very difficult to see both sides of our family who all live in Michigan. We communicate through webcam and talk on the phone almost every day, but because it is about an 18-hour drive, we are unable to see them as often as we would like. Military life has become second nature in the last few years. I throw my husband a party and celebrate every year for the date of his enlistment. He has sacrificed so much for the military and to serve our country, it is the very least I am able to do to show my appreciation as a wife. I ensure that my family’s needs are met as they are my first priority.

Volunteer Service Highlights: I guess as an overview it would be a combination of the above question. Helping other families pack and move, volunteering at military events and FRG events are all ways my husband and I have helped volunteer. We have volunteered for Park and River clean up missions and raise funds for different military events.

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What do you do to support other military spouses/families? Supporting other military spouses and families comes second nature in my life. I see military spouses; single soldiers and soldiers walk through my building everyday with questions about their children, programs and education. I work in a Child Development Center so I am able to ease parents and their worries about their child’s education.

Words of Wisdom/Advice for Other Military Spouses: Take a deep breath and make sure you still get your alone time with your spouse! As military life is always changing and challenging your stress levels it is very important that you and your spouse get quality time to enjoy each other. My husband and I have only been on one vacation together, our honeymoon, because of military life and we are starting to realize we also need to have a marriage. It is important to not lose sight of your love and your family that normally comes second in priorities.

Make sure you acknowledge your soldiers enlistment date and support them any way possible. You may be having a horrible day, but your spouse has sacrificed his life I would also let Military Spouses know to get involved. The more involved you are you will be able to meet other military spouses in the same situation.

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May 16, 2013 • FORT LEE HEROES AT HOME • 7

Leslie Prigge Spouse of SFC Michael P. Prigge | PRIG-E | Instructor | JCCoE, T CO, 266th QM, 23rd BD Tell us briefly about your background/experience as a military spouse. This July marks our 24th anniversary. We have two children – our daughter is 23 and our son is 17. My husband and I were high school sweethearts; my husband joined the military during his senior year and after graduation was off to basic training/Advanced Individual Training. We married the summer of 1989, once he completed training. Our daughter was born two months prior to my husband deploying to Dessert Storm, which was hard on us all, but with family and friends we survived. We have lived in Fort Polk, La. for eight years, Fort Campbell, Ky. for a total of five years and currently here at Fort Lee, Va. since August 2011. My husband has deployed four times – Dessert Storm for 12 month, OIF for 15 months, OEF 15 months, and Afghanistan for 12 months. Each and every deployment, like any other spouse, is hard but with FRG and friends and family we all survive.

How do you balance family/work/military life? “I just do it.” Being a military spouse is a challenge under any circumstances, balancing all the demands of running a military household. The task of managing family, school, work, military life (which often

includes having a spouse deployed overseas) seem daunting, “I have a set schedule. Monday through Thursday I drive to Chester JTCC for morning classes and Midlothian JTCC for afternoon/evening classes. Since my son is 17, he pretty much gets ready for school and my daughter and I are taking the same classes for our degree in Art/Photography. I do my schoolwork in the library between my morning and afternoon drive shifts. I do household chores on Friday – my day off. I also do homework in the evening when my kids and husband are in bed, and I do my reading for class on Sundays.

My husband helps tremendously around the house when he isn’t at his job as an Instructor. And on any given Saturday or Sunday, you can find me riding with my husband on our Harley Davidson motorcycles all over Virginia.

Volunteer Service Highlights: Helping the spouses of the deployed members, and meeting all new friends over the years.

What do you do to support other military spouses/families? While stationed at Fort Polk and Fort Campbell, I assisted the FRG as an FRG Leader. I assist my husband’s Soldiers by sewing their names and ranks on their uniforms. I was actively involved with my husband’s Soldiers Spouse while on deployments, comforting and assisting any way I could.

Words of Wisdom/Advice for Other Military Spouses: These are some things that I learned over the years that helped me take things one day at a time: Deployments are difficult but it helps to take things one day at a time. You’ll find what works for you and your family. I know it’s hard to not try and be SuperMom/Dad but the fact of the matter is we are only stressing ourselves out with this perception. Focusing on something else can be a great distraction. Pick up a new hobby or go outside and exercise.

Congratulations to the 2013 Heroes at Home finalists for a Job Well Done!

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The 2013 Fort Lee Heroes at Home Military Spouse of the Year USA Discounters is extremely proud to be the

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We recognize the important role our active duty and retired military spouses play in the Fort Lee community and thank you for your dedication, service and support of our Armed Services!

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