Heroes at Home 2012

honoring our unsung heroes for their sacrifices, strengths and their commitment to our hampton roads community

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8th edition

Congratulations To the 2012 Heroes at Home Nominees!

USA Discounters is extremely proud to be the

Presenting Sponsor of the Military Spouse Awards for the eighth consecutive year!

We We recognize recognize the the important important role role our our military military spouses spouses play play in in the the Hampton Hampton Roads Roads community community and and thank thank you you for for your your dedication, dedication, service service and and support support of of our our Armed Armed Services!

Services!

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PAGE 2 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

) n%3 &! +' ' WE SALUTE YOU Have you ever noticed that superheroes all have super homes? Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, Batman’s Batcave, the X-men’s X-Mansion. They are all imposing from the outside and indulgent on the inside. Passersby marvel at the architecture. Enemies quiver at the very sight. No one dares mess with anyone inside the bulwarks of such grandeur.

And the superhero tucked away inside knows. He is very aware of just how safe he is. He goes about his superhero day in the soft, comfortable lair he has created for himself? He smokes a pipe, sips bourbon, or does whatever it is that superheroes with unlimited funds and few worries do.

He rests knowing nothing can penetrate his fortress.

And then he gets a call. A call that someone needs him. A call that says he has to put on his suit, or cape, or armor – and leave the confines of his super home. He has to go out into a world where anything can happen, where things aren’t

peaceful, and perfect, and unlimited. He has to put it all aside, risk it all and do what he’s called to do. He has to be a superhero … in order to go back and enjoy the super life.

When I consider the role of a military spouse, I think of the lairs they create for their super Sailor, Airman, Marine, Coast Guardsman or Soldier. Even as mobile as that home has to be, wherever they are called to establish it, they work tirelessly to make it soft, inviting and ultimately impenetrable. They ensure that their family has all the resources, opportunities and tools they need to succeed outside the doors of the lair. And they welcome them back after every long absence.

And they too, get the call. The call that a neighbor needs help. The call that the school needs a volunteer. The call that the squadron needs morale assistance.

The call that someone, somewhere needs them. Sometimes the calls are relentless, keeping them constantly from the confines of the lair. And yet, it’s for those it houses that they answer the calls. The love within those four walls gives them the courage to put on the cape, answer the call, and be the superheroes they are.

This year we celebrate our “superheroes at home.” Founded in 2005, the Heroes at Home Military Spouse Awards recognize our unsung heroes for the sacrifices and strengths, their commitments to our community and for the challenges they overcome – every day. For the 8th consecutive year, the military and civilian communities join forces to honor all of our 2012 nominees and name the finalists and

2012 COMMITTEE INCLUDED: ADAIR WELLS – Founder, Heroes at Home/Sales Development Manager, The Flagship® and Military Newspapers of Virginia HEATHER WELCH – Public Affairs Specialist, Commander, Navy Region Mid-Atlantic JIM BOWLES – Promotions Coordinator, Max Media KENITA BOWERS – Community Affairs Media Coordinator, WAVY TV10 & FOX43 KRISTIN AUCH – Spouse of Colonel Kory Auch, Commander, Joint Base Langley-Eustis LAURA BAXTER – Publisher, The Flagship® and Military Newspapers of Virginia LEN SANTIVASCI (U.S. Navy, Retired) – Director of Marketing, USA Discounters SARA JANE ARNETT – 2012 Heroes at Home Military Spouse of the Year SUE HOPPIN – Founder, National Military Spouse Network (MNSN)

2012 Heroes at Home Military Spouse of the Year. In this issue, we profile the 10 finalists whom our judges selected as true “Heroes at Home.”

HEROES AT HOME • 2012 MILITARY SPOUSE GUIDE

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MILITARY NEWSPAPERS OF VIRGINIA

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The contents of this special section are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the U.S. government, the DoD, the DoT or the U.S. Coast Guard. Opinions of contributing writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Military Newspapers of Virginia or The Flagship®.

The availability of these newspapers and the appearance of advertising in these publications, including any inserts or supplements, do not constitute endorsement by the federal government, the DoD, the DoT, the U.S. Coast Guard or Military Newspapers of Virginia of products or services advertised.

Military Newspapers of Virginia is a private firm in no way connected to the Department of Defense or United States Coast Guard.

PAGE 3 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

Alisa Baldwin has the unique perspective of being an Army mom, before she became an Army wife. Although her husband enlisted into the Army for a few years, after high school, he finished his enlistment before they met and married. As Alisa’s husband worked as a law enforcement officer, the two raised three sons and two daughters. Even though they were a civilian family, “there was a military lifestyle,” Alisa says. “We still had the same Army values.”

When her oldest son graduated and decided to join the Army, it was not a huge shock for Alisa and her family. It was even less so when the next son graduated and enlisted, and the third son as well. It was a path they had discussed and a lifestyle that was always honored and respected. Still, Alisa felt a certain apprehension. She struggled at times wrapping her head around the idea of her sons going off to war – her little men putting on full-grown uniforms and defending the country.

“I was used to my husband doing extreme things, such as in law enforcement,” Alisa explained. “But even though my sons are husbands and Soldiers, they really are my little boys.”

When her youngest son decided he wanted to enlist, he challenged his father ... “I’ll do it if you do.” That was all it took. Soon, Alisa was an Army mom of three, and Army wife of one. In addition, she has two daughters-in-law that are

active duty military. She admits that the emotions of having so many of her dearest loved ones in uniform are heavy, but her pride outweighs any negativity she feels.

“I’m very proud of them,” she says. “Whether they make it a career or not, I’m really proud that they serve.”

Those heavy emotions became very real when two of her oldest sons and her husband were all deployed in the same time period. Her oldest son left for Afghanistan, then her husband left for Kuwait. When her oldest went to Kuwait on his way home, he and his father were in theater together. Then her oldest came home as her second was deployed, traveling through Kuwait as well, having time in the same theater as his father.

“How many can say, ‘father and son in theater?” Alisa asks. “But to have two sons and father in theater!”

It’s a story the family won’t soon forget. Her youngest son is eagerly awaiting his first time to deploy so he can add his stories to the family album.

How does Alisa keep herself busy during the chaos deployments? She flies back to see her disabled mother often, helping her as she needs. She spends time with her five kids and three grandkids when she can. She works full-time as an office manager for a product distribution company which provides everything from water bottles to beef jerky for government and military sources primarily.

“It’s dealing with the military, which I love,” Alisa says. “I’m honored as a military spouse to work for veterans that understand.”

Alisa also goes to school full-time.

She is getting a Masters degree in public administration, with plans to work in the military community. She

currently volunteers with a number of military organizations.

“When my sons joined, I had found support groups,” Alisa says. “But I needed to serve.”

She started looking for opportunities to give back to the military community, while finding support for herself and got involved with Blue Star Families. She currently serves as the president of Blue Star Moms of Hampton Roads.

“We work alongside moms who understand,” Alisa says. “They’ve all been through multiple deployments. We work hard to send care packages, work with Wounded Warriors and work with homeless veterans.”

When the moment arises, she also presents gold flags to mothers of fallen service members. As difficult as it is, “It’s really fulfilling to know that you can do those things,” she explains.

Alisa also serves as the president of her husband’s unit’s Family Readiness Group.

She believes in being proactive as a military spouse – preparing for any number of issues before they arise.

“What I’ve told younger wives is, have as many tools as you can to deal with deployments,” she explains. “Get your checklists, such as back up day care and financial plans.

Have everything lined up and get as many tools as you can to reduce the stress.”

PAGE 4 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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PAGE 5 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

her leadership role among the families to heart. In one of her first commands, she facilitated a transfer to Italy. The ship, and all the families associated with it, were being transplanted there. She went ahead of the ship to explore Italy and the region they were going to live to report back to the families all the details of the move and to set everything up for the new

Volunteering is the foundation for Sandy Barker’s family. Sandy and her husband, Blair met at a volunteering event over 19 years ago.

As a Navy wife of over 17 years, Sandy has committed herself to volunteer work – within the Navy and the community around her.

“I like to get my kids involved too,” Sandy says, encouraging them to find volunteer projects where they can and to join her in her efforts, such as the drive for Hurricane Katrina victims she helped to coordinate.

“I really love helping out – especially the young spouses,” Sandy says. “I remember as a young spouse myself not knowing anyone for nine months.” She recalls the early days when her husband would leave for months at a time and she would be home with their baby. Once she even had to move by herself while her husband was gone.

“The only other spouse I knew at the time helped me move, and she had a two-year-old,” Sandy said. Having a lack of support around her left Sandy frustrated and lonely.

At their next duty station, Sandy determined to not be alone.

“From then, I got involved wherever I could get involved,” Sandy explained. She looks for every opportunity to serve those around her, to build a strong community.

In 1998, Sandy stepped up to take on her first ombudsman role. Since then, she has taken on an ombudsman role at five different commands, six different times. She takes

command.

At another duty station, she set up “spouse tours” for young Sailors’ wives who were new to Navy life. She would gather everyone in cars, or a van, and shuttle them around the base. She would show them where to sign up for things and where to find all the resources they needed. They forged friendships, while being equipped for their lives ahead. The program she created is still in use five years later. Sandy faces every task with a sense of eagerness and excitement.

But she wasn’t always that way. Sandy says that she was a very shy person growing up in Iowa. Since marrying her Sailor and traveling the world with him, in 10 moves and six deployments, with lots of port calls in between, Sandy has learned to seek adventure and find opportunities to get involved.

With her job coordinating vendors at the commissary, Sandy has been able to gather food that is getting ready to expire or is out of season, and distribute to Sailors, families and commands. She is always looking for those in need and resources available to help.

Over her years as an ombudsman, Sandy has organized turkey dinner drives for Navy families, driven spouses to the hospital for surgery or to give birth, and stayed in contact with families throughout numerous deployments and difficult times. Sandy also coordinated the

Video Teleconferencing program during her husband’s last deployment. While the USS George H.W. Bush was deployed, Sandy would schedule sessions, three times a week, for families to sign up to video chat with their Sailors aboard the ship.

“Seeing your Sailor on the big screen is just awesome,” Sandy said. “There were lots of smiles and lots of tears.”

Making a life for herself also includes focusing on the needs of her family. Sandy has two teenage sons.

“Military life is hard regardless of who you are. It depends on how you handle it,” Sandy says. “I handle it by staying busy and helping others. Make a life for yourself while he’s gone.”

She is involved with her sons’ band programs, helping with fundraisers and getting them to all the events they have to attend.

“They have special needs, and they’ve turned out to be wonderful young men!” she says.

She also donates time and resources to local animal shelters. And yet, with very little time for herself, she says it’s worth it.

“Without my husband, I couldn’t have done any of this,” she says, referring to the adventurous life she’s made in the Navy. “And without my being strong, he couldn’t do his job.”

PAGE 6 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

PAGE 7 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

Susan Doyle considers herself to be very blessed as a military spouse. Her husband joined a bit later in life than most at 26 years old. Even though she has only been a military

spouse for the last four years, Susan has jumped headfirst into a number of leadership positions.

“I gravitate toward leadership,” Susan says. “It just comes naturally to me.”

One of her first leadership roles was the job of Family Readiness Group president for the USS Jason Dunham (DDG 109). Being new to Navy life, she loves to encourage spouses as they transition in. As the Dunham is a newly commissioned ship, she not only took on the leadership job, but she also that of launching the ship’s first FRG. “It’s been a good challenge,” Susan says.

“It’s a good learning opportunity to establish a new FRG. We are a very strong group.” She

puts much of the focus of the FRG’s success on the other wives she serves with.

As the FRG president, Susan has helped coordinate a number of command events – from Christmas parties to spa days for the spouses. She looks for opportunities to get male spouses involved and to keep the morale up among all the families. In her regular emails to the families, she shares local events and activities for families to get involved with. She is a big believer in staying busy and keeping calendars full, especially during deployments or other difficult times.

“The military spouse can just get lost in the marriage to a service member – both new and old alike,” Susan explains. “There are so many resources and opportunities in the community, so I try to put those into their hands, so when their spouse leaves, they don’t feel lost.” She

WE KNOW WHEN TO SALUTE. Thank You To All Military Spouses.

You Truely Are “Heroes at Home.”

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wants spouses to always remember that they aren’t just a tagalong. They need to find things that they enjoy doing to keep themselves busy.

Another way Susan keeps herself busy is with her local Protestant Women of the Chapel (PWOC) group. Again, tending toward her leadership nature, Susan stepped up right away as a teacher for the group.

“Every military wife wants some kind of spiritual encouragement,” Susan says. “This is just another resource I found.” With the PWOC, Susan also helps with the monthly Spouses of the Deployed dinner. She helps primarily with decorating and set up. And when her husband is deployed, she also attends the dinner.

“It’s so important to have a full calendar,” she reminds us.

Aside from all her Navy volunteering roles, Susan also homeschools her two kids, ages five and seven.

Such a full schedule is demanding, but Susan says as long as she stays organized, she can keep it all going. She also sets aside special time for each tasks, rather than letting the tasks rule her.

“For me, my mornings are booked,” she explains. “I let very little intrude on that.” She

uses that time for her kids and homeschooling.

And keeping her priorities straight is her key to success. “If I fail my kids, I’ve totally failed,” she says. Susan values homeschooling as a stable environment for her kids. Because they were an older, established family when they joined the military, Susan wanted to be sure she created certain stable features in her kids’ lives. She protects those very carefully.

Yet she also acknowledges that juggling Navy responsibilities and family life can be difficult.

“You can easily feel torn,” she admits. “If there is an evening I will be gone, I try to explain what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.” She finds that when she takes the time to explain things to her children, they can better adapt to changes. And often, she gets them involved with her volunteering projects – from stuffing bags to creating handouts. She hopes it will teach them to live a life of service.

Through all the tasks she takes on, Susan remembers a mantra her parents taught her: “Try to go to bed tired every night.”

She enjoys the satisfaction of using every ounce of energy and collapsing into bed every evening. She encourages other spouses to find similar opportunities to get involved and to spend their energy every day.

Susan likes to remind spouses that there is and will be life after years in the military and until then, “This is a tough life, but if you can just embrace the whole opportunity, it’s a privilege to be a military spouse.”

PAGE 9 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

As a former Soldier herself, and an Army wife, Kate Dunbar is intimately aware of the struggles of military wife.

“The older I get, the more I realize what a lucky life we have,” she says. It’s that outlook that drives Kate through the difficulties of Army life and keeps her focused on the volunteer projects in which she is involved.

As a single Soldier, Kate was deployed to Desert Storm. Years later, after she was married and a mother of two sons, she received orders to Afghanistan. As her husband was also deployed, Kate had to leave her boys with their grandparents while she served in Afghanistan.

“I decided I wanted to be with the kids,” she says. She finished her time with the Army and refocused her goals on serving the military community.

“Even when I was in the Army, I would try to do what I could to serve the spouses club, because I knew it was important,” Kate explains. “I always enjoyed doing that.”

When her husband joined his current unit, Kate noticed that there were nearly 1,000 Soldiers attached to the unit. “And they all have some kind of family connection,” she noted. Kate stepped up as a leader in the unit’s Family Readiness Group. She stays in communication with the unit’s families, especially before and during deployments.

As a senior advisor, she trains and supports newer spouses as they learn to take on lead-

ership roles within the FRG. As she brings up new leadership, she ensures the strength, unity and consistency of the unit, as well as the Army as a whole.

Kate volunteers throughout the Army community as well.

She has served two terms as the president of the Spouses Club of Fort Eustis. She serves young families and the community by volunteering at the base thrift store.

Her service continues as an Army Community Services trainer and member of various advisory committees. She enjoys sharing her skills and insight with young families. She works to make sure families always have a place to turn.

“If they feel welcome, they know they have someone to talk to,” she says.

Kate is also very involved with the Casualty Response Team program.

“When we were at Fort Bragg, we took classes on tragedy response teams,” Kate explains. “There are some situations, as unfortunate as they are, you have to be strong.” Through these classes, Kate learned the best ways to step up and aid when tragedies occur.

At a recent command, a Soldier’s wife died unexpectedly. As a member of the tragedy response team, Kate helped organize the support the family needed.

“It’s the little things,” she explains.

Her team visited, brought toys, watched the kids and took care of all the small details as arrangements were made.

“To this day, he calls every so often,” Kate explains. “It’s the small things that make such a huge difference. Its not easy, but its necessary and I would hope that someone would do that for me. “ In addition to all her volunteer

roles, Kate has a part-time job with Military Child Education Coalition’s Parent to Parent program. She works as a liaison between the base and local schools. She loves that it’s just another way to support the Army families and that it’s a flexible job.

“If you can find a job that can travel with you, that’s always the best,” Kate explains.

That flexibility allows Kate time with her family. Kate’s youngest son is a freshman in high school. Her oldest is preparing to enlist in the Army. Kate is preparing to be an Army mom – after being a Soldier and Soldier’s wife for all these years.

“I told him, ‘I support you 100 percent,’ but my heart dropped. It was a different worry.

He’s still my baby,” Kate says. “I’m excited for him … I think it’s a good thing.”

In her extra free minutes, Kate volunteers in the community. She has served as her kids’ schools as they were growing up. She volunteers for Aim for Excellence Foundation, Relay for Life, the Wounded Warrior Run and Extreme Home Makeover. She is always looking for opportunities to get in and work on projects in the area – on and off-base.

“I was taught from a young age that you have to be involved in your community,” Kate explains.

PAGE 10 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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PAGE 11 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

For Kelly Hafer, life is not as much about the challenges you’ve been dealt, but what you make of those challenges and the unique opportunities they bring with them.

Of course, she could have never guessed just how many challenges and opportunities that Navy life would bring her. As high school sweethearts, Kelly and her husband, Bill, imagined all the adventures they would share as a couple. Now, almost 20 years later, their family has grown by three children. They have been through boot camp all the way through commissioning. They have traversed four deployments and moved seven times, to both coasts and the land in between. They’ve seen so much of the world, but some of their biggest challenges started at home.

When Bill finished a deployment-filled sea tour and received orders to Navy Postgraduate School, in Monterey, Calif., the couple decided they were ready to pursue adopting a second child – a milestone they had been waiting for years.

“I’m not leaving here with one child,” Kelly said. With only a two-year window in Monterey, the family had to act quickly. They started the process immediately upon arrival.

All three – Kelly, Bill, and their daughter – were excited about the new addition that seemed right around the corner. But as they moved through the paperwork, meetings, trainings and visits – the process grew slower and slower.

“There is a lot of wait time,” Kelly explains, as they worked with the state of California and the foster care system. Eventually, after months of yearning and waiting, the family was matched with two brothers.

They would soon have sons.

But not without more months of court dates, appointments and waiting. When the Hafer’s officially brought the boys home, they had orders to move to Virginia a month later.

Adjusting from being a family of three to a family of five is tough enough, without throwing a cross country move into the mix. Meanwhile, as the family was getting to know each other, Bill and Kelly noticed some strange behaviors with their boys.

“My oldest son wasn’t making eye contact,” Kelly says. A few months later, they got the diagnosis – both boys are on the Autism spectrum.

The diagnosis left the newly transplanted family feeling a bit lost.

“When you get a diagnosis like that, the doctors are like, ‘Here are some websites and books. Have a nice life!” Kelly explains. So she took to the Internet to learn everything she could. As a new mom to boys, a new mom to autistic kids and a newcomer to the Hampton Roads area, Kelly found comfort, advice and a sense of direction on the blogs she found.

“What kept me sane was bloggers that were talking about real kids and finding people who feel the same way,” Kelly says.

Her experiences led Kelly to dive headfirst into information and resource sharing for other military spouses – especially those with kids with special needs. In addition to her own blog, UnplannedTriptoHolland. blogspot.com, Kelly writes regularly for mytidewatermoms.com to share

her experiences as a mom of autistic kids, a mom of a teenager and a Navy wife. She has also contributed articles to a number of books and newspapers.

Kelly also devotes time to the Military Special Needs Network, which is “an online everything” for spouses of active duty members, whose kids have various forms of special needs. Through the website and social networking, Kelly strives to let people know of the resources available through the military and to keep them aware of the next steps they need to take.

“No one knocks on your door and tells you about these programs – that’s what we try to do,” she says.

Kelly’s family is calling this year their “Lost Year,” since her husband will be gone well over two-thirds of it. And with a teenage daughter who wants to maintain her social life and two boys who need a lot of attention, Kelly finds herself without much opportunity to attend support groups in the area.

“You have to embrace the lifestyle,” she says. “You meet amazing people and see amazing places.” And when things get really difficult, she encourages wives to find a place to share resources and build a community of support.

PAGE 12 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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As an Air Force spouse, Toni Hall knows that working with a team – where every person can contribute their talents and ability – is the key to overall success. She believes that

volunteering with the skills you have makes that work light.

“It’s easy for me,” she jokes. “I’m not out solving world hunger.”

After being a military spouse for well over a decade, she signed up to be a Key Spouse for her husband’s squadron in 2010. As a Key Spouse, Toni has spent a lot of time organizing squadron fundraisers, helping with social events, such as the squadron’s fall “Trunk or Treat” and the “Commander’s Call.” She steps up when she’s needed and looks for ways to get involved.

But because of the team of Key Spouses she works with, Toni is able to focus on the

work that comes most naturally to her – staying in communication with each spouse and family member. Toni admits that the social events and programs aren’t her strong suit, although the success of such activities under her guidance might say otherwise. Still, she points to her team who step up to use their talents – from event coordination to web design – which allows her to focus on what she loves most – direct communication with Airmen families.

Growing up as an Air Force child, her family faced their own tragic events. They experienced the kind of knock-on-thedoor days that no military family wants to face – yet those days are still a reality for military families. Toni is aware of that reality and holds it close to her heart.

“The only contact those families should

PAGE 14 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

get shouldn’t be when they get that knock at the door,” Toni believes. She works diligently to stay in contact with families, during deployments and outside them as well. She is acutely aware that difficult days can happen at any time – during an average training mission, during a deployment, or during just another day at work. She makes it her mission to ensure that families know where they can turn if such a time occurs.

“My experience made me realize how valuable those connections are,” Toni says.

It’s a lot of work to stay connected with all the families in a squadron of over 700 Airmen, but knowing how important that contact is keeps Toni focused. Toni focuses first on families of deployed Airmen and new families in the squadron, checking to see if they need anything, or need resources. Then she makes sure she stays in touch with all the families so they know where to turn whey they do need something. She uses phone calls and emails, as well as social media, such as Facebook, to stay up-to-date with everyone and check the pulse of the squadron.

She also attends the social events on-base and with the squadron to talk with spouses

and families. She also makes it a priority to encourage spouses to attend events onbase – to show support for those resources.

“I’m extremely empathetic for the things that really count,” Toni explains. “And I’m really great in an emergency.” Toni recalls once an Airman and his family lost their home in a tornado. She went into full-coordination mode – organizing child care, food, donations and everything else the family needed.

Toni emphasizes, she couldn’t do it all without her team of other spouses. They allow her to focus on her family and community service as well. In addition to volunteering at her children’s schools, at her church and with Girl Scouts, Toni has two kids – a teenage son and 10-year-old daughter. Toni works as a substitute teacher at her daughter’s school.

With the fullness of her calendar, Toni likes to focus on how lucky she is as a military spouse. She always tries to remember what a blessing it is that her husband has a paycheck, relatively good health insurance, and that she has the ability to serve where

she can. “Someone always has it worse,” Toni says, keeping things in perspective.

It’s that perspective that keeps her humble, and driven.

“The only reason I can do it all is that I have a phenomenal group of key spouses,” Toni says. “It’s very embarrassing that I was nominated and they weren’t. It’s a team effort. They deserve the recognition.”She dedicates the nomination to them.

PAGE 15 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

Kristina Halleran finds a connection to her past through her service to military families, Wounded Warriors and veterans.

“I am realizing how much effect that military life had on my childhood, even though we were a civilian family,” Kristina says.

Kristina’s father is a Vietnam veteran, but he got out of the military before Kristina was born. She was raised in a civilian home and her father never talked about his experiences as a service member. She remembers being raised to respect those in the military and the work they do, but apart from that, she knew very little. Then at the age of 27, she met a Navy man. He stole her heart and it became clear that military life, which she had never really known, would be hers.

“I knew it was a respectable job, but not much else,” Kristina says. “But he seemed like someone I was supposed to know and marry, and this was something I was supposed to do.”

In the first few years of her marriage, as she got to know modern military life, she started to learn more about her father, such as the Bronze Star he earned in Vietnam.

“It’s all just come full circle,” she explains, as she her past and her future were illuminated.

As a new military spouse, Kristina felt a bit overwhelmed by it all.

“I didn’t know what it was like to be a military wife, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, or how I was supposed to act,” she says.

“It was a learning experience for me. It was so very new to me. I had a lot to learn.” In order to learn more, Kristina got involved in a number of non-profit organizations that serve veterans and service members. She enjoys learning about how the military has and does effect families.

As she put the pieces together for her life, she also learned so much about how the military effected her father and her family.

Her love for her father and her husband has led Kristina to focus so much of her time on veterans service organizations.

She started with an organization called The Mission Continues.

“These guys are built to serve ” Kristina explains. “The Mission Continues give veterans a sense of purpose by serving their community.” Kristina also volunteers with Wreaths Across America, Barrett Transitional Home for Women, VetHouse Inc., and other local grassroots organization, but as involved as she was, it wasn’t enough until she learned about Wounded Wear.

“I wanted to go deeper,” she explains. She wanted an opportunity to work directly with Wounded Warriors and their families and help them in immediate and tangible ways. Wounded Wear gives her that opportunity.

“They go directly to the hospitals and modify clothing for Wounded Warriors,” she says. With this organization, Kristina has found her place.

“The first time I went to Walter Reed was one of the most difficult days of my life,” Kristina admits. “I

came home emotionally exhausted.” But it was worth it for Kristina and she returns as often as she can.

Wounded Wear is based in Hampton Roads, allowing Kristina to be as involved as she wants. As one of five main volunteers for the organization, she finds herself wearing many different hats, although her official title is event coordinator.

“It’s very family oriented,” she says. “The kids are often at the office with us.”

Such a flexible arrangement is perfect for Kristina as her husband is underway, or deployed often. With two little ones, aged seven and five, her schedule is really hectic.

“It difficult and stressful,” she admits.

“But you just do it.” She tells the story being geographically away from her husband for over two years, as his last duty station kept the family apart.

“I’m not a morning person,” she laughs.

“But I had to get up with the kids every morning.”

Kristina keeps her focus on military service members as they come home with physical and invisible scars.

“That’s the angle that I’ve taken to support my husband,” Kristina says. Serving them brings clarity to her past and her present.

PAGE 16 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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According to Christina Lara, there is “never a dull moment” in her life. With three growing boys (ages 6, 9 and 12) and a husband who serves in the Navy and often deploys, Christina is constantly on the go.

Keeping up with everyone’s schedules is a daily juggling act.

If home life wasn’t busy enough, Christina has taken on enough to completely overflow the pages of her calendar. She is on the scholarship board for Navy Wives Clubs of America. She volunteers as an ombudsman for two different Navy commands – the USS New York (LPD 21) and Navy Region Mid-Atlantic. Her resume has also included PTA president, den mother for her boys’ scouting groups and SPCA volunteer. And she goes to school full-time, expecting to receive her Master’s degree in psychology this December.

The key to her sanity? “My calendar is my best friend,” Christina says. She attests that as long as she can stay organized and ahead of her own busy schedule, she not only gets everything done, but enjoys staying involved in so many things. In fact, that’s her key to success as a military spouse.

“Fill your day with what you love doing,” she advises other military spouses. And all the volunteering is one thing she loves to do.

Taking on one ombudsman role is quite an intimidating undertaking for many – but

Christina has taken on two!

“I absolutely love helping families,” she explains. “I felt so helpless when we got started.

I love giving back.”

Giving back takes up a lot of her time. As a command ombudsman for two commands, Christina spends a lot of time on the phone and computer – staying in touch with spouses and families. She says she closes all of her emails with a reminder that she doesn’t have “9 to 5 business hours” and is available whenever families need her.

“Things break before and after business hours,” she says. “If you need to call at 2 a.m. because there is a noise outside, that’s fine. We are in this together.”

Christina recognizes that family and friends outside the military don’t always understand the unique challenges presented in the military life. She knows how important it is to build relationships within the Navy, among people you do understand.

Of course, her own family is first on her calendar.

“The boys are a priority,” Christina says.

“But they are so resilient. They know when mom needs to take a call.”

Still, Christina spends much of her time with them, volunteering with their activities and interests.

She loves being involved with their Cub and Boy Scout troops, whenever she can.

“It’s so much fun watching the boys learn with the other kids,” Christina says. “Doing stuff I never did as a kid.”

She also devotes time to play both roles when their dad is deployed. One of her recommendations is to use email to facilitate communication among the deployed service member and the kids. She

encourages her boys to share their concerns and struggles with growing up via email with their dad, while she also uses email to communicate with him and ensures that everyone is on the same page with how to deal with daily challenges.

“It’s the psychology kicking in,” she says, regarding her resourcefulness for figuring out unique ways to have family discussions.

As her education has played such a role in her life, Christina has committed herself to helping others achieve their academic goals. On the board of the scholarship fund for Navy Wives Clubs of America, she works with various club chapters and reviews dozens of scholarships from Navy, Marine Corps and Coast Guard dependents to choose 30 winners each year.

She also stays involved with the local SPCA by keeping a box on her doorstep where neighbors and friends dispense newspapers, which she delivers to the animal shelter. It’s just another way she keeps her calendar full.

But above all, she does everything for the love of her boys – especially her husband.

“He is a seafaring Sailor. He absolutely loves the water and now my boys love the water,” she says. “Every time he puts on that uniform, I think ‘that’s my Sailor.’”

PAGE 18 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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PAGE 19 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

up to make sure everyone feels welcome, appreciated, and taken care of. When her husband joined his current security forces squadron, she noticed that there was no Key Spouse program. She realized that families needed a place to turn for support, encouragement and socializing. She also noticed that more could be done to support Airman before, during, and after their overseas deployments. She stepped up to be the squadron’s first and only Key Spouse. She formed the program at the squadron from the ground up.

While getting in touch with all the families

Rachel Tipton considers her husband’s squadron her family. And she works hard to ensure that every service member and family member feels the same way.

She looks for places of need and steps

of the squadron and assessing the needs, she built the Key Spouse program up to eight spouses. With her team of Key Spouses, Rachel coordinates squadron events, such as Christmas parties, military balls, and Hails and Farewells. Not only does she make sure the events happen, but she also organizes childcare so that everyone can attend. For the squadron’s most recent ball, Rachel organized dress donations so every woman could afford a new-to-them, beautiful gown. Another time, she dropped everything to help a spouse with financial issues – even going to the grocery store for her until the monetary issues could be sorted out. She also stays in communication with the Airman Readiness Center to be aware

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of all resources available to the families and communicates with the spouses on a regular basis to ensure everyone is well cared for.

In communicating with the families, Rachel assesses the needs of everyone and looks for ways to help. A few years ago, when she learned that a number of the single Airmen did not have childcare options for their children, Rachel stepped up and offered to watch the children herself – with little to no cost to the Airman. She didn’t want to make money from the experience – she just wanted to take a load of the minds of the Airmen and assure them that their children were taken care of.

Rachel is equally concerned for the well-being of the children in the squadron.

She wants them to feel loved and appreciated too, as they sacrifice time with their parents during deployments and long work days. She coordinates special parties for the children, gotten them together to make and send cards to their deployed parents, and put together face painting stands at family day events. Rachel knows that the health of the squadron starts at home and she makes sure the whole family are cared for.

Her concern, of course, starts at home with

the health of her own family and children. Both of Rachel’s young children suffer from illness.

With countless doctors appointments, in between school days and other activities, Rachel’s schedule is always full. She keeps her calendar with her at all times and consults with it whenever she needs to set an appointment or agrees to do something for the squadron.

With her own personal illness to care for, Rachel is careful to take care of herself as well – after the family and squadron.

“That’s where my wonderful husband comes in,” Rachel says.

“Even with his busy job, he helps me too. On his days off – if I have something going, he will say ‘I’ll take care of that,’ or he will tell me to go get my nails done.”

Rachel’s family raised her to be the way she is. From an early age, her mom referred to her as a “little mama,” as Rachel has always looked for ways to take care of others.

Whether she is coordinating a homecoming event to make sure Airmen feel appreciated, or buying extra food items when

they are on sale, her resourcefulness and forward-thinking help Rachel care for others creatively and consistently.

When others ask her how she does it, she just shrugs and smiles.

“I like to be busy,” Rachel says. “It gets my mind off him when he’s away.” And she loves seeing others happy, which is why she steps up so often to lead volunteer efforts.

“I just do it. I don’t hesitate – I just go.”

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was forming a Family Readiness Group.

“I decided to get involved because I didn’t want anyone to feel the way I felt,” Amber says.

Soon, she was the FRG’s vicepresident. And soon after that, she served as an ombudsman.

Amber finally felt the sense of belonging she had yearned for – and determined to make it her goal to help others find that

Amber Winters believes that focusing on the needs of other people is the key to navigating military life. It’s a focus she learned from her father and grandmother – both influential in forming her into the thoughtful person she is.

“They molded me into the person I am,” Amber says. “They taught me that you take care of people.”

And that’s exactly Amber’s mission in her volunteer work – both inside and outside Navy life. She strives to ensure people feel included and heard. More than a volunteer, she’s a family-builder.

As high school sweethearts, Amber and her husband, Loren, had often talked about the Navy. When their daughter was born with a number of medical problems, they put the decision on hold.

“When she was two or three, we decided it was time,” Amber says. They moved from their hometown to Hampton Roads, with their young daughter. For her first few years as a Navy spouse, Amber knew very few people – focusing all her time on her daughter. She learned quickly the frustration of an isolated life.

“Those first years, I was completely drained when my husband would get home,” Amber explaines.

That’s when Amber realized she needed to find her own community. At her husband’s second duty station, she heard the command

same family.

Amber loves being involved with the ships and commands where her husband is stationed. Recognizing the importance of having a family network, she encourages the command families and spouses to call her anytime – day or night.

“I try to be as approachable as possible,” Amber explains. Having been surrounded by a tight network and having struggled alone, she knows how much better it is when you have people you can rely on. She recounted how much easier it was once she found friends – even to just watch her daughter, who can’t be exposed to colds or the flu, while she ran to the grocery store.

That tight knit community also allows Amber to focus on volunteering outside of the Navy.

Her daughter, Hannah, received a kidney transplant at St. Louis Children’s Hospital, which means Amber and Hannah have to travel back to Missouri at least twice a year, even while her husband is deployed.

“Even just to have people to feed Hannah’s guinea pig,” Amber recognized, is such an important part of their Navy family.

While Hannah was receiving her transplant, Amber remained committed to the families around her at the hospital. When the hospital created a parent advisory board, they asked her to chair it, knowing how tactfully and compassionately she could communi-

cate between parents and staff.

Now living in Virginia full-time, Amber helps the hospital through phone meetings, but focuses much of her time on her daughter’s special needs classroom.

“I cant put into words, but it’s the simplest things the kids appreciate most,” Amber explained.

Amber is also the team mom for Hannah’s special needs cheerleading team at their local gym. She works tirelessly to ensure everyone feels valued and a part of the team. When she isn’t busy with FRG, classroom, cheerleading, and other community volunteering, Amber is out at Special Olympics events.

“As a Navy wife, it’s rewarding to serve Navy families, but Hannah is a big part of my life. If it weren’t for Hannah, I wouldn’t realize how much I can do for special needs community,” Amber explained, Amber encourages all military spouses to strike a similar balance. She found out personally that getting involved with the command offers a unique family that understands your schedule, frustrations and daily life.

Looking back on her experiences as a Navy wife, and ahead to the adventures to come, Amber is grateful for the lessons from her father and grandmother, who ensured she knew how to care for others and think outside herself.

PAGE 22 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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They warn you about all the moving. They remind you to stay organized because you will have to pack up all your belongings on a regular basis. They paint visions of all the things you will do, and see, and experience.

But what they – everyone commenting on your life as a military spouse – don’t tell you is just how random your experiences will be! Most of us have used the phrase “I

should write a book” at least once because, frankly, we probably could. Our spouses deploy, Murphy’s Law kicks in, and suddenly we find ourselves picking up a new trade as a plumber, or electrician, or technician. We move to the worst school district in America and suddenly become teachers to a household full of kids. We go to one meeting at the squadron and now we are running to the

spouse organization. We get stuck with a certain set of neighbors and suddenly we are learning the intricacies of drug interventions, or take Lamaze classes in case we are needed as backup.

And that doesn’t even include employment. How many of us have taken obscure jobs because we just wanted to be working?

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self scouring journalism textbooks after taking a job as a lead reporter at a newspaper, developing my own grammar curriculum at a tutoring center that specialized in math, and swimming through the abyss of the Internet to find educationally appropriate material for children for a software company? The jobs I applied for, and didn’t get, could fill a volume themselves.

But lest we take curl up with our randomly accumulated experiences and sulk in our own frustration that our lives do not pave a well-laid path to success, let’s take a moment to appreciate those experiences.

Like pieces of pottery that make a mosaic, those moments of creativity, ingenuity and utter perseverance meld together to create our personal brand.

Amy Schofield found this to be true as she reviewed her education in human resources and her work experience in recruitment, volunteer management and administration. She realized she knew all about the hiring process from the inside and could help others as they navigated those waters. Rather than holding out for a new administrative position every time she moved, Amy started a business as a virtual assistant, www.schofieldstrategies.com – specializing in custom resumes and cover letters.

“My favorite aspect of my business is playing a role in furthering the lives of other military spouses by writing stand-out resumes for them!”

Amy says.

Amanda Rinker, a freelance writer and editor (www.amandarinker. com), found that working from home allowed her the full-time flexibility she wanted, while showcasing her unique balancing abilities as a military spouse.

“As a military spouse you learn to be flexible through deployments, field trainings and everything else that’s thrown at you, so juggling multiple clients has become second nature to me too,” Amanda explains.

Kate O’Connor also found that the military lifestyle actually helped her build a brand, rather than lose one. Kate started Kate’s Thoughts for Food (www.katesthoughtsforfood.com), a fresh-food, meal-planning service.

“Rather than focusing on the fact that my dreams would not be attainable because of my husband’s military career, I was forced to get creative and figure out a way to translate my love of cooking into a business that could function anywhere,” Kate says. “The simple truth is that my brand would not exist if I wasn’t a military wife. Starting my own business gave me the opportunity to create my own identity.”

That’s the beauty of entrepreneurship and the military lifestyle. We are so used to carving out our own identity, constantly introducing ourselves to new groups of people, that evolving that into a brand is almost seamless once we settle on the type of business we want.

“Your name and reputation are some of the only constants you carry around as a military spouse,” said Patty Jones, owner of www.littlepatpats.com. “When you have to pack up everything you own every few years and start fresh, having a business and a brand that moves with you is a huge advantage.”

The next time you think about the mosaic of experiences the military has given you, and you consider writing a book, pull out a pen and paper and start writing. You may just discover a hidden business in all that cracked pottery.

PAGE 25 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

really words of wisdom, but in essence, there are times when we are asked to think outside the box (the brain), take care of our family when our loved ones are deployed (the nerve), meet new people and make new friends (a heart), but always when we are PCS’d, we make our house into a home ... There is no place like home!

Alisa Baldwin Kate Dunbar I found a long time ago that you need to get out there and integrate yourself into your new community as soon as you can. Find an activity or organization that makes you happy and get involved with it. Nothing is harder than coming to a new area and not knowing anyone – making friends is a priority. The same applies to our children.

Every time we move, my sons and I will walk the new neighborhood in search of parents and children who are outside. Then we introduce ourselves, tell them we are new to the area, and then we begin a conversation

about what activities there are to do in the area, who their dentist is, good local eating spots, etc ... it is a great icebreaker and a great way to meet neighbors and make friends.

Christina Lara As a child I loved, and still enjoy with my boys, the movie “The Wizard of Oz”. As a military wife, I live by the words of “follow the yellow brick road.” For on this road, you will find your brain, your courage, your heart and always ... “there is no place like home,” no matter where we go. I know that is not

I have two pieces of advice: First, we all understand that moving as often as we do can be difficult for establishing friendships. However, those friendships are important. Besides social media, a spouse can volunteer her time either on-base or some other organization. There are so many opportunities. This not only brings a sense of giving back, but also opens up opportunities for friendships.

Second, put every tool in your tool-belt possible! What I mean by that is to be prepared with those little things that will make a big difference when your spouse is

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PAGE 26 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

training, out in the field, or on deployment.

Take the deployment list the military gives you and take it a step further! Who will you call if your car breaks down? How will the car be towed? I know that USAA offers a towing benefit for a reasonable price for auto insurance customers. That one thing can make a huge difference when you are on your own! Be creative with those tools.

During my husband’s last deployment, I took my laptop out to the garage and via Skype he walked me through the steps to fix the lawn mower! Know that there will be some things that are unpredictable. Last summer while my husband was deployed, I ended up having surgery. It wasn’t easy without my husband here! Those are the unpredictable things. Know that they will happen and as I always tell my kids, “This too shall pass.”

Amber Winters My life has been influenced the most by two people in my life that have both gone too Heaven. My father and my grandmother

taught me that you always put your family first and that people who come into your life at different times can become a part of your family. They both inspired me with their kind hearts. As a military wife, these two simple pieces of wisdom couldn’t be more valuable.

My husband and I were married seven years prior to him joining the Navy. I could not be a prouder military spouse. So, I have learned that as a military spouse you need to be a “supportive” spouse. This has allowed our marriage to continue to grow, and for my husband to feel confident in his Navy career, knowing that I stand beside him even when he is overseas. As his wife, I will always put our family first and remember to be open minded to the people who come into our life through his Navy career. You will find family sometimes in people you may not have expected. This support system will bring confidence and support to all of us as military spouses. So, like my father and grandmother did, I will always support my spouse, put my family first and continue to build my family as I go along in life.

Toni Hall Military spouses are unique. We do things we never thought we could, go places we never thought we would and handle more than we ever thought we could. And all of it is easier if we realize we aren’t alone. Often, our husbands and wives are gone, but there are other spouses who have been where you are, or are experiencing the same separation with you. So don’t think you are alone – ask for help if you need it, get involved, or help someone else if they need it. That’s what family does and that’s what we are!

Sandy Barker Stay Busy. This is key to getting through deployments. Get involved in community, military support groups, kids and school, volunteer, etc. There are so many organizations who could use a helping hand and it makes you feel good about yourself. Support your service member, it’s just as hard on - continued on page 29

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www.jordanandassociates.org • facebook.com/kjmdpc PAGE 27 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

120,1((6 + ( 5 2 ( 6 $ 7 + 2 0 ( Join us in honoring our unsung heroes for their sacrifices, their strengths and their commitment to our community. The Heroes at Home Military Spouse of the Year was chosen from the nominees below, whose nominations were provided by active duty personnel from all branches of the military, spouse support groups, charitable organizations, friends and family.

Aja Christine Ferguson • SSG Andrew James Ferguson, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Alisa Baldwin • SSG Christopher Baldwin, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Amanda Selkirk Amber Benton • E4 Michael Benton, USCG Station Cape Charles Amber Clark • E5 Shawn Clark, JEB Little Creek-Fort Story EOD ESU2 Amber Sheffield • E-5 Robert Sheffield, Helicopter Sea Combat Squadron Two Two Amber Winters • LS2 Loren Winters, Naval Special Warfare Development Group Amy Fattizzi • E6 Anthony T. Fattizzi, JEB Little Creek-Fort Story Amy Hale • MSGT William Hale, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Amy McAllister • CAPT Eric McAllister, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Angelicque C. Hoffman • E5 Justen A. Mallard, Cuba Anna J. Ross Ashley Wilder • E4 Joshua Wilder, Naval Station Norfolk Beth Royle • CMDR Michael Royle, Naval Station Norfolk; Carrier Strike Group 8 Bre Kingsbury • LCDR John Kingsbury, NAS Oceana Dam Neck Annex Carrie McCann • E4 James McCann, USAG Grafenwoehr Cassandra Bean • E3 Robert Bean, Naval Station Norfolk Celerina Gagni • LT COL Clarence Gagni, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Christina Lara • PO1 Pablo Lara, USS New York (LPD 21) Christina Rowley • E6 David Rowley, Naval Medical Center Portsmouth Christine Douglas • E7 Chief Machinist’s Mate Monty Ray Douglas (ret.), Naval Weapons Station Yorktown Christine Wilson • CAPT Craig Wilson, Joint Task Force Civil Support (JTF-CS) Christy Pollman • GSMC Adam Pollman, COMNAVSURFLANT Cody Riley Cynthia Veronica Anguiano • E4 Francisco Anguiano, USS Dwight D Eisenhower (CVN 69) Denielle Haack • SSG David Haack, 1 CMS/MXMCF Ela Kelly • E5 Okpara Kelly, NAS Oceana Erika Pilar Erin Voirol • SFC Dale Voirol, Fort Bragg, NC EuNiece TurkFrancis • 1ST LT Bryan Turkfrancis, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Felicity Johnson • W01 Desmond Johnson, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Heather Ownby • E5 Orvil Ownby, Patrol Coastal Crew HOTEL Heidi Schmidt • LT Paul Schmidt, Naval Medical Center Portsmouth Jacquie McCall • LT COLMichael C. McCall, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Jamie Rose • E4 Brandon Rose, 94th AMU Janelle R. Perez • E7 Kristopher Perez , USS Albany (SSN 753) Jennifer Danielle Squazza • LTJG Naval Flight Officer Andre F. Squazza Jennifer Gangemi • MSGT Joseph Gangemi, HQ ACC IG Jennifer Rogers • MSGT John Rogers, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Jessica Riggs Jill Williams • E3 George Williams, JEB Little Creek-Fort Story Joanna Schranz • LCDR Craig Schranz, Naval Medical Center Portsmouth JoBeth Hilliard • E5 Shane Hilliard, Joint Base Langley-Eustis

Julie Hess • AOC Nicholas Hess, USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) Kandy Fisk • LT Michael Fisk, JEB Little Creek-Fort Story Kathryn Dunbar • LTC Layton Dunbad, 24th Transportation Battalion Katie Nelson • E5 Keith Neslon, USCG Station Cape Charles Kelly D. Young • LT Andrew F. Young, Navy Cyber Forces Command Kelly Hafer • LT William Hafer, USS Mitscher (DDG 57) Kelly Torres • HM1 Julian Torres, Riverine Squadron One Kristen Shortridge Kristina Halleran • E6 James Halleran, CID Learning Site Dam Neck Krystal Ann Chapman • SPC Krystal Chapman, 567 ICTC Krystle Lein • E5 Kenneth Lein, JEB Little Creek-Fort Story Lea Fabian • E3 Zachary Fabian, USS Enterprise (CVN 65) Macie Ferrell Meagan M. Massey • SGT John Massey, 10th Mountain Brigade, Fort Drum, NY Meeghan Griffin • E7 Nathaniel Griffin, Assault Craft Unit Four Melissa Musella • BM1 John Musella Melissa Visage • E6 Eric Visage, NAS Oceana Dam Neck Annex Michelle L Kehoe • E9 James M. Kehoe, 158FW/DET 1 Misty Menken • E5 David Menken, Joint Base Langley-Eustis Odemaris Avila • E6 Justin Avila, Navy Rachael Trussell • E6 Ira Trussell, Assault Craft Unit Four Rachel Hicks • E7 Jacob Hicks, USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75) Rachel Tipton • TSGT Jeffrey Tipton, 633 Security Forces Squadron Rebecca Bryant Wellintington • E4 Blaine Wellington, Navy Sandy Barker • MCPO Blair Barker, USS George H.W. Bush(CVN 77) Santina Rivera • CMDR Richard Rivera, NAS Oceana Sara Merkel • LT COL Jack Merkel, Navy Sarah Clark • E6 Jeremy Clark, NAS Oceana Sarah E. Pianalto Selena Arnold • Petty Officer 2nd Class Robert Arnold, USS Donald Cook (DDG 75) Shannon A. Dawson • BM1 James Ryan Dawson, USCG Shannon Jefferson • E6 Ernist Jefferson, USS Enterprise (CVN 65) Shelley Federico • Joe Federico, Naval Station Norfolk Shenetta Whitfield • E6 Reginald Whitfield, USS Newport News (SSN 750) Sunny Rydl • E6, NCTAMS LANT Susan Doyle • Petty Officer 2nd Class Benjamin Doyle, USS Jason Dunham (DDG 109) Sylvia L. Mallari • MSGT Darwin P. Mallari, 1 AMXS-27 AMU Tanya Henley • Keith Henley Terri Short • Senior Chief Joey Short, Bahrain Tiffany Harris • E4 Kyle A. Harris, Navy Tina Thoele • LT COL Dan Thoele, MARFORCOM Toni E. Hall • CMSGT Ronald S. Hall, Jr., 30th Intelligence Squadron Wendy Stump • E4 Zachary Stump, Naval Station Norfolk Yuko Hall • E6 Jason Hall, NAS Oceana Oceana/VFA-31

PAGE 28 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

- continued from page 27 them as it is you. Get out of the house, you’d be amazed how much better you feel! Make friends with other military spouses, they understand what you’re going through better than anyone and we can all use a little support. Most importantly, make a life for yourself, while still being committed to your spouse. Get a job, go back to school, volunteer, and exercise.

Kelly Hafer Being the parent of a special needs child is much like being a military spouse. To get the most out of your experience you must embrace the lifestyle. There are times when the life you live may not be exactly what you once hoped, but throw yourself in the deep end and make it work – learn the lingo, find the resources and share your knowledge.

Susan Doyle Embrace this wild journey that your spouse

has chosen for their current career. Do not think of it as their journey alone and yourself a tag-along, but instead embrace this life as a team. Discover interests, hobbies and community service opportunities that you are best suited for. In the words of Albert Einstein, “Only a life lived for others is a life worth while.” You will be most satisfied with this military life when you are actively caring for others. Go to bed tired every night, never waste a days worth of energy! Additionally, get connected with other military spouses.

Find a military spouse willing to mentor and encourage you, someone who puts their family first, has a solid marriage and who serves others. Know that your family’s service to this country may require some flexibility on your part, but with this often comes great opportunity. Things may not go as planned. You may face unexpected deployments, PCS moves and more, but know that your inconveniences, although frustrating at times, play a role in the overall mission. Lastly, be proud of yourself! You will find you are stronger than you ever could

have imagined!

Kristina Halleran Be ready for challenges and embrace them.

Whatever comes your way that is difficult will make you stronger. The kids are also a lot tougher than you think. Turn to your military family when no other is around (I learned this so much this year!) Volunteer, when you can, for a veteran-based or any non-profit in your community, it will give you a whole new prospective to view so many things.

Rachel Tipton I tell other military wives to not give up and keeping moving forward, that God wouldn’t give you something you couldn’t handle. If you need anything else, please let me know.

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PAGE 29 | HEROES AT HOME - 8th ANNIVERSARY | MAY 2012

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