Cary Living Magazine

p dshi frien resolve to keep it western wake bridal guide J A N UA RY | F E B R UA RY 2 0 1 1

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J a nua ry | F e b rua ry 2 0 1 1

publisher/partner Gina Stephens advertising sales Myra Gammon creative director Travis Aptt art director Jennifer Casey graphic design Heath Hilliker contributing writers Illyse Lane | Darcy Brennan-Huante | Dr. Bhavani Lagadapati David Droschak | April Schlanger | Kristy Stevenson Bonnie Fischer | Dr. Robert Lacin, MC, FAANS | Dan Bain photography April Maness Photography Jennifer Robertson Photography subscription inquiries Call 919.782.4710 or visit caryliving.com

Printed on 100% Recycled Paper

Cary Living is published six times annually.

Any reproduction in part or in whole of any part of this publication is prohibited without the express written consent of the publisher.

4818 Six Forks Road, Suite 204 Raleigh, NC 27609 Phone (919) 782-4710, Fax (919) 782-4763 www.CaryLiving.com Cary Living is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts, photography or art. Unsolicited material is welcome and is considered intended for publication. Such material will become the property of the magazine and will be subject to editing. Material will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. Cary Living will not knowingly accept any real estate advertising in violation of U.S. equal opportunity law.

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cL

publisher

A NOTE FROM THE

Happy New Year!

i usually associate the months of January and February with the following adjectives: cold, dull, rainy and boring. it’s the dead time between the spectacular holiday season and the heavenly arrival of spring. So choosing articles for this particular issue can be challenging. but i am excited to say, “not this time!” This issue of Cary Living is all about relationships! The relationship we have with our friends and even the relationships we have with strangers. most of us learned the importance of friends in elementary school or even earlier. making a new friend or having friends made us feel good. Today, there’s proof that friendship provides emotional and physical health benefits. check out “Friendship; resolve to Keep it” (page 12). you may be convinced the smartest resolution this year is to keep your good friendships going.

How about your relationships with strangers? Does it seem that lately you’re more intolerant of each other? What do you think? in “uncommon courtesy” (page 2 ), a new study says that almost 0 percent of americans think rudeness toward each other is at an all-time high. and if you’re planning your wedding, don’t miss our pull-out 2011 bridal guide. you’ll find great ideas on planning every detail of your special day.

Plus, with valentine’s Day is just around the corner, this year think “red.” We’ve found the best “red” gifts that won’t break the bank (page 22). and in the “chef’s corner,” chef mario shares recipes for a romantic dinner for two (page 1 ). let us know what you think of this issue of Cary Living. We love hearing about what you enjoy and what you’d like to see more of. in short, your opinions matter.

gina pearCe stephens

Publisher/Partner Midtown, Cary Living, Pinehurst & Southern Weddings 1 Six Forks road | Suite 20 | raleigh, nc 2 09 919- 2- 10 | gina@caryliving.com

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contents January | February 2011

features 12 | Friendship: Resolve to keep it

Good news! Our friends are good for us. And one of the best resolutions you can make is to keep those good friendships going.

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| refresh your home

22

| ready for love

We asked Lilly’s and Posh Interiors to share tips on accessorizing your built-in bookcases.

Fun, fabulous finds, all in red, just in time for Valentines!

| NCMOM brings dental care to the needy

24

North Carolina Missions of Mercy offers free monthly dental clinics across the state.

Loving is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.

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– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

| Uncommon Courtesy

A recent survey found that 69% of Americans think we’re becoming ruder and less civilized toward each other. What do you think?

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50

40 | pictures of rETIREMENT A day in the life with local retirees.

| journeyman golf architect lands job of a lifetime 44

Cary’s Chuck Smith designed tribute course to Payne Stewart in Missouri.

| The Building Blocks of children’s health

50

44

16

Tips for staying ahead of the curve.

PLUS...Don’t miss our special pull-out Bridal Guide for 2011!

departments | Chef’s corner 32 | talk of the town 16

24

36

| calendar of events

39

| Apps review

48

| BEER REVIEW

56

| financial focus

| healthy living 64 | sightingS 58

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Friendship:

Resolve to Keep It

By Illyse Lane

Our friends make us laugh, know our secrets, help us pass the time and console us when needed.

But did you know that having friends has both emotional and physical health benefits? This year, one of the smartest resolutions we can make is to keep those good friendships going.

It may be hard to believe that grabbing coffee, going out to dinner, having a beer after work or spending just a few minutes venting over the telephone to our friends could actually be good for us.

But consider the findings: • Socializing with friends can have as positive an impact on health as quitting smoking, working out or eating right.

• A study of nurses with breast cancer found that women without close friends were four times as likely to die from the disease.

• When women are with their friends, they release a certain hormone that helps them reduce stress.

• Having a happy friend who lives less than a mile away increased the chances of finding personal happiness by 25%.

Local psychologist Dr. Ann Waring of Millbrook Psychological Associates isn’t surprised by the studies. “Supportive relationships are health benefiting and affirming. They nurture you emotionally,” says Dr. Waring. “Even one good friend can make a difference.”

But let’s face facts. Between our professional and personal commitments, it can be hard to find the time for friendship. Addi-

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tionally, not every friendship is a good one. We’ve all been in relationships that can give us more stress than happiness. So how do you carve out the time to devote to the good and the power to eliminate the bad?

Cary Living went searching for answers.

Friendship: Foster the Good Nearly 20 years of history bond Allison Lappin, Jen Mullahy and Debbie Wildgoose. The three women ended up in Cary in their early twenties, when their now-husbands played professional hockey for the Raleigh Icecaps.

Back in those days, sparking a friendship was easy. “We had a lot of connections. My husband played college hockey with Debbie’s husband; and their team played against Allison’s husband’s college team,” remembers Mullahy. Additionally, Mullahy’s husband knew Lappin’s husband from childhood, so when all three finally reconnected as recent transplants to Cary back in the early 1990s, it was easy to forge ahead as friends.

Finding Time Almost two decades later, with eight children and chaotic schedules between them, the three women recognize that it’s a lot harder to stay connected. “We’re in different stages. Sometimes it feels almost impossible for us to plan something, so we try our best to connect whenever we can,” says Wildgoose.

How do they accomplish this? Interestingly enough, it’s not the typical girls night out. “Instead, we make the effort to be there for the important events,” says Lappin. “We were in each other’s weddings, we’ve been at the hospital when all of our kids were born, we celebrate birthdays and holidays, and we go to the beach together during the summer.” They’ve also made a conscious effort to live in close proximity to each other, giving them the flexibility to help each other out when needed, serve as each other’s emergency contacts for

school, and even grab a quick dinner when the opportunity arises.

“These women have figured out something that is very key to successful relationships of all kinds. They’ve developed a way of communicating and staying in touch that is comfortable, that works for them,” says Dr. Waring. Since every friendship is unique, it’s ultimately up to the people involved to define how they want to interact.

Evolving Together In addition to making time for friendship, it’s essential that friendships evolve as life changes. This can be easier said than done. As we mature, our needs, interests, priorities and values change, and with that so do our needs for friendship. We may loose our connection to a friend we spent significant time with before we got that big promotion, got married or had children, as natural circumstances can impact how we feel about the relationship.

Dr. Waring reminds us that this is perfectly normal. “As you evolve, you may not always have the same group of people in your life,” reminds Dr. Waring. “You have to make sure your friendship continues to meet your expectations.” And while bidding farewell to a friendship that no longer meets our needs is sometimes difficult, it’s important to recognize that this is simply a part of life.

Lappin, Mullahy and Wildgoose feel fortunate to have grown and changed together. “We’ve always been sort of living the same life,” says Wildgoose. And while the friendship between the three has flourished partly because of its longevity, it’s by no means a requirement of having a successful, valuable friendship. As a matter of fact, all three will tell you that part of evolving together is the continued presence of their low-maintenance dynamic, where all are very secure in their relationship with each other.

“We all have other friends; we’re busy with our lives, but we know where we stand with each other and we don’t sweat the small stuff,” says Mullahy.

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When The Small Stuff Turns Big So what happens when we find that the small stuff is getting in the way? When we hang onto a relationship that is no longer fulfilling and maybe even unhealthy?

While it’s in our best interest to let go of a relationship that can be deemed as “toxic” – think emotionally draining, makes us feel bad or act in ways that do not make us proud – it can be difficult. “Women are socially developed to pay great attention to relationships, to be a peacemaker, to want to work it out and resolve issues,” says Dr. Waring.

Instead, we may find ourselves sticking around, trying without success to make the relationship better, which can take both an emotional and physical toll. To help us determine if it makes sense to let a relationship go, Dr. Waring recommends asking ourselves why the relationship is important, which includes considering our priorities and values and then determining if it’s the kind of mutually rewarding, nurturing relationship we want.

Know When To Let Go Deciding to let go isn’t easy. And once we make the decision, only we can determine if we’re ready to simply walk away or try and have that one last talk to clear the air.

While in theory, getting closure can give you all the answers you need to move on, there are no guarantees you’ll get it. “Certainly it’s not unreasonable to try and get things addressed if it’s a relationship you’ve had for a long time, but 14 | caryliving.com

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With a laid back dynamic and a commitment to be there for each other, Allison Lappin, Debbie Wildgoose and Jen Mullahy have kept their friendship strong for nearly two decades.

if you don’t get anywhere, it’s not unreasonable to let go,” says Dr. Waring. She also encourages us to examine our role in the relationship and consider if this is the type of friendship we typically have. It could be a unique situation, but if we’ve had experiences with the same issues, it may be worth further self exploration.

© April Maness Photography

Reconnect With Your True Friends One of the best ways to get over a toxic relationship is to surround yourself with a few good, true friends.

So how do you recognize a true friendship? “In many ways, a good friendship is like a marriage, comfortable and flexible,” reminds Dr. Waring.

It’s also being able to communicate honestly and openly. It’s supporting each other through lifechanging experiences and adversity. It’s helping each other feel good and accepting each other as-is, flaws included. It’s being able to forgive and apologize.

“It’s knowing that your friends are there for you when you really need them, no matter what,” says Lappin.

And that’s friendship advice we should all resolve to remember.

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chef mario

wine dine

valentine AND

with your

RECIPES BY CHEF MARIO COPY BY DARCY BRENNAN-HUANTE PHOTOGRAPHY BY APRIL MANESS PHOTOGRAPHY

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SEARED SCALLOPS with Sherried Sweet Pea Puree,

SEARED ENCRUSTED BEEF CARPACCIO

Yellow Cream and Tomato Confit ‘Hearts’

with Tangy Balsamic

Serves 2 Ingredients 1 Tbsp ground coriander 1 Tbsp ground fennel seed 1 tsp granulated garlic 1 tsp black pepper 1 to 1 1/2 fillet beef tenderloin 2 handfuls of your favorite baby greens *Balsamic vinaigrette dressing Chili oil or hot sesame seed oil 1 radish, sliced thin Capers, drained Red and yellow peppers, diced 1 baguette, sliced

Ingredients 12 oz large dry scallops 1 Tbsp butter 2 tsp olive oil Salt & pepper 1 Tbsp shallots, diced 1 cup frozen sweet peas, thawed 1/4 cup sherry 1/2 cup heavy cream Directions Remove the small side muscle from the scallop. Rinse with cold water and pat dry.

Add the butter and oil to a 12" sauté pan over high heat. Season the scallops with salt and pepper. When the pan is hot, add the scallops and sear 60-90 seconds per side until golden. Remove scallops from pan and set aside on paper towels to drain.

Add the diced shallots and sauté for approx. 1 minute. Add the peas and toss to warm them. Deglaze your pan with the sherry and reduce by half. Add the cream and let it gently bubble for a minute or two. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Place pea mixture in a blender and blend until smooth.

To Serve Paint the plate with pea puree, place your scallops on the plate and serve.

TOMATO CONFIT “HEARTS” Ingredients 4 roma tomatoes Salt and pepper 3/4 cup olive oil Directions Cut tomato into quarters, then slice out the seeds. Place tomatoes in a small, deep pan (deep enough to immerse the tomato), season with salt and pepper, pour the olive oil over the tomatoes and bake in a 350 degree oven for 15-30 minutes or until the oil is slightly bubbling. Let tomato cool in the oil. Remove the skin and slice into strips for the garnish.

VIBRANT YELLOW CREAM Ingredients 1/2 cup sour cream 1/4 tsp turmeric Salt & pepper 1 Tbsp lemon juice Directions Mix together well and add as a color-popping garnish.

Directions In a bowl, mix together coriander, fennel, garlic and salt & pepper. Place beef in spice mixture and coat on all sides. Heat a sauté pan over high heat and add about 1 tablespoon of oil to the pan after it is hot. Add the beef and sear on all sides, about 5 minutes. Remove beef from pan, let rest for 5 minutes and then place in freezer for about 20 minutes to stiffen.

Slice beef super thin and lay slices on a plate in a circle. Place greens in the center, drizzle balsamic vinaigrette dressing over greens and beef and then drizzle outer rim with chili oil.

Sprinkle plate with radish, capers, diced peppers and then serve with baguette slices!

LOGON

TO

www.caryliving.com

for the balsamic vinaigrette recipe!

DREAMY CHOCOLATE FUDGE PUDDING Ingredients: 1/4 cup corn starch 1/2 cup sugar Pinch of salt 3 cups whole milk 6 oz chocolate chips 1 tsp vanilla Directions In a pot, mix corn starch, sugar and salt. Whisk in milk and then place on the stove over medium heat. Use a whisk to gently stir the milk mixture until thick and just starting to bubble. Remove from heat. Add chocolate chips and vanilla using a whisk and mix until smooth.

Spoon or pipe pudding into dishes. Chill for at least 30 minutes before serving. To get extra fancy, do layers of pudding and whipped cream, finishing with a dollop of whipped cream.

Garnish with a berry or two if desired!

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home

refresh your

If you’re fortunate enough to have built-in bookcases in your home, you know that these handy nooks offer more than just a place to store your books. You can make built-ins an integral part of your decorating scheme. Of course, you can add books to the shelves, but you can display a whole lot more too. We asked Lilly’s and Posh Interiors to share tips on accessorizing your bookcases. A great way to refresh you home!

◆ Start with a clean slate. It’s easier to start with empty shelves if you are going to completely redecorate your bookcases. ◆ If you have too many shelves, remove some to allow for larger objects to be used.

The shelves do not have to be exactly alike on both sides. ◆ The back walls of the shelves can be painted. An accent color or beadboard can be added and painted or stained to add interest and contrast. ◆ Don’t be afraid to use large objects. Too many small objects can make your shelves appear cluttered.

BEFORE

◆ Consider using silk greenery, books and bookends, family photos in beautiful frames, ceramic vases and jars, baskets, boxes, candle holders and your favorite art. ◆ Add interest by using framed artwork displayed on the back of the shelf. ◆ Create ambiance with lamps. Plenty of sizes and colors are available and they look great. ◆ Choose a particular color and incorporate it a few times throughout your shelves. ◆ When adding a picture or mirror above the mantle, if there is picture frame molding,

AFTER Designed by Lilly’s

make sure it fits within the molding or it at least covers the molding completely. ◆ Limit objects on the mantle to flank each side of your picture or mirror. Two or three candlesticks work well, and one other object on the other side. Keep it simple.

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photography by april maness photography

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◆ Begin by selecting a theme or focus using a collection that’s already in your home. ◆ Remember that incorporating pieces you already own is a budget-friendly idea.

It also allows you to keep your home unique. ◆ Keeping a constant color-scheme is an important factor when designing your home. ◆ Use muted-palette when re-decorating your bookcases but add in pops of color in-between. ◆ In order to keep your shelves streamlined, place your items in odd groups of three or more. ◆ Use a few larger pieces or accents. They can add a bold, striking element to your design.

BEFORE

This also prevents it from being too cluttered. ◆ Books can be the most important part of your shelf, they can be a great way to introduce color or interest. ◆ Use books as risers for smaller items. Instead of placing them horizontally on a shelf, lean them in. ◆ Removing dust-jackets from books gives shelves a polished look. You can also cover

AFTER Designed by Posh Interiors

the books with light-weight fabrics or paper. ◆ To make a shelf more functional, add brightly-colored storage boxes or baskets.

You can use these to store magazines or paperback books. ◆ Remember that above all, this is your home and it should reflect the fresh ideas you want to bring into the New Year.

Special thanks to Bedroom and Sofa Emporium and Streets of London Antiques for select pieces used in our dispay.

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t

Choose beads that have meaning to you, and create beautiful jewelry that tells your unique story. Our Trollbeads Fantasy Necklace can be worn several ways and is available in silver or gold. Get inspired!

Swagger

For Valentine’s Day, make her feel special...let Jee Vice put your lady in the right frame (of mind...) with a pair of red hot sunglasses.

s

ready for l Doctors Vision Center, Cary & Brier Creek

t

Napa Firelites produce a dramatic flame that crackles and dances as if to music. Can be used indoors

or outdoors. Various sizes, shapes, and prices available. Lilly’s

2008 X Winery Red. A dark purple wine with aromas of ripe cherries, blackberries, plum with just a hint of mocha and anise. t

Well integrated tannins lead to a s

smooth texture. Sip...a wine store

Ester...delicate hand engraving featuring a center oval ruby with ideal cut colorless diamonds. Exclusively designed and crafted by J.M. Edwards

t

Handmade chocolate truffles for your love. Chocolate Smiles

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by Ron Lodholz – this stunning rubellite tourmaline is set in 18k yellow gold with platinum suspensions. 2.15 carats with diamond accents. Perfect for that special

each day by simply placing a new jewel pop in your favorite piece of sterling silver interchangeable Kameleon Jewelry. Sassy Blossom

t

t

Enjoy creating a new look for

Exquisite design and hand fabricated

Valentine! Stonehaven

Stunning designer ruby and diamond ring with 3 carat total

will taste better in Mikasa’s set of four

weight baguette rubies adorned

10-ounce martini glasses. This set of

with two rows of 2 carat total weight

colored glass stemware is sure to be

princess cut diamonds, set in 18k

r love the life of your Valentines Day party.

white gold. Elaine Miller Collection

t

Cute Buttons Gift and Paper Boutique

t

Your signature candy red apple martini

t

It’s not just red! This pleated ombre scarf makes a statement with its soft fall of pleats and subtle red shadings. Blue Tiger

Fun, fabulous finds, all in RED, just in time for Valentine’s!

Comfortable and oh so colorful, these silicone watches come colors. The Paper Company

t

in more than a dozen fashion

Hearts Delight. A lush presentation of roses, hydrangea and spray floral heart. The English Garden

t

roses with an artfully sculpted

t

Soft, supple red leather, a must for accessorizing on Valentine’s Day. Handcrafted leather accessories available in a variety of colors and textures. Sixpence Accents Unique Furnishings & Gifts

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12/21/10 10:17:57 AM

NCMOM brings dental care to the needy

by Dan Bain

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NCMOM sets up clinics with as many as 80 full chairs at a time (above, left), but offers individualized care at each station (above).

The North Carolina Dental Society is on a mission. In fact, they’re on about 12 a year, providing free dental services to as many underserved North Carolinians as possible via the North Carolina Missions of Mercy (NCMOM) program. “They don’t have dental insurance, Medicaid or discretionary income as an avenue to get their dental work done,” explains Dr. Bill Blaylock, director of NCMOM. “The accessto-care problem in North Carolina is tremendous; there are thousands of people out there who have nowhere else to turn. There’s a large segment of our population who need and deserve our help.”

That help comes in the form of up to 80 mobile dental units and accompanying volunteers. The organization travels to various towns across the state and sets up temporary clinics with the help of lay caryliving.com | 25

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volunteers, providing qualified care with the help of volunteer dentists, dental hygienists and dental assistants. The monthly clinics are available for two days at a time – first-come, first-served – and offer cleanings, fillings and extractions to as many patients as the doctors can see during that time.

NCMOM has seen more than 28,000 patients since its 2003 inception, providing care worth about $10 million. Yet it’s not enough. “We could literally do one clinic every weekend and still not help everyone in the state who needs it,” Blaylock laments. “The clinics are very, very expensive to put on…we’re continually searching for ways of raising money to put our clinics on.”

That’s why the North Carolina Academy of General Dentistry and Triangle Area Dental Services are helping to host and promote the second annual “Roll the Dice for NCMOM” Casino Night. The fundraiser will take place February 11th from 7-11pm at the Raleigh Convention Center; tickets are available for $50 at www. tadsonline.org. Tax-deductible donations may also be mailed to: North Carolina Dental Health Fund, 1600 Evans Road, Cary, NC 27513. (Please write “NCMOM” on the memo line.)

Volunteers are welcomed and encouraged to register at www.ncdental.org; they can be lay persons or dental professionals – like those from Renaissance Den-

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Patients often line up overnight, desperate to receive dental care they can’t otherwise afford.

tal in Raleigh or Willis Family Dentistry in Cary.

Dr. Giles Willis was inspired to volunteer after having grown up in an under-served county in Arkansas. “It’s my way of giving back,” he says.

“It makes me feel like I am making a huge difference…getting them out of constant pain.”

Dr. Anita Jones Wells of Renaissance says it’s moving to see how profoundly grateful the patients are to receive the care they’ve needed, but couldn’t afford. “The number of hugs we received was amazing; that’s the biggest part of it,” she says.

According to Jordan Carpenter, a dental assistant with Renaissance, numerous practices end up adopting a family to provide additional care after a clinic ends. Renaissance adopts one each year at Christmas and provides dentistry services to them throughout the following year.

Blaylock says the payoff is worth it. “It’s a wonderful mission to help these people get out of pain,” he says. “We turn tears of pain into tears of joy.”

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C

UN

OMMON OURTESY

you know, the not-so-subtle sighs and facial expressions when we’re stuck in a long line. The frustration we experience when we’re slowly backing out of our parking spot, only to hit the brakes as a car rounds the corner and instead of slowing down to let us finish, it zips around us, swerve and all?

How about when we approach the door to a shop the same time another person approaches? We take the lead and open it, allowing her to walk through first. But as she passes she says nothing, tempting us to say, “you’re welcome” loud enough for her to hear. or we’re behind a slow

By Illyse lane

driver, approaching a yellow light. at the last second, we jump in the right lane, accelerate and drive through the intersection in the nick of time, passing a not-so-nice look to the slower driver. if you’re thinking that we seem to be getting more impatient and disrespectful, you’re not alone. a recent survey found that 69% of americans think we’re becoming ruder and less civilized toward each other. So what’s going on? the Blame Game it’s easy to play the blame game, attributing this lack of

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Does it seem that lately, we’re more intolerant of each other?

civility to a combination of pop culture, social media and stress. it appears these factors together may have unknowingly created a concoction that has given us excuses to forego common courtesy. it makes sense. channels abound with reality television shows that highlight outlandish behavior. Popular dramas teach us to handle problems through aggression or glamorize impolite actions or controversial situations using beautiful people. Politicians, businessmen and stars get even more attention for poor behavior and the news seems to be crowded with bizarre stories highlighting ill-mannered actions. caryliving.com | 29

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But does all this really have an impact on us being less courteous to each other? The answer is yes. “The most potent variable in persuasion is exposure,” says Dr. Jack Huber, professor of psychology at Meredith College. “While it’s not a conscious decision to model behavior after what we see on television, in the movies or in the news, the fact is we’re constantly being persuaded to solve problems in an incorrect, impersonal and aggressive manner.” And when you consider that a child graduating from high school today has spent more time watching television than he has spent in the classroom, it is safe to say that generations are growing up learning to behave this way.

Our Impersonal Lives In addition to meeting most of our communication needs through technology, ranging from email to an automated voice on the other end of a telephone call, our busy schedules don’t allow us to slow down and get to know each other outside of our professional relationships. This leads us to view each other by the role we fill, instead of the people we are.

What does that mean in terms of how we treat each other? “It has been scientifically demonstrated that when you know someone’s name, you are less likely to be aggressive yourself, or aggressive toward that person,” says Dr. Huber.

So What Should We Do? Let’s be realistic. The exposure isn’t going away, as we’re not turning off the television; it’s our entertainment. We love having instant accessibility to each other, so we’re not putting down our Blackberries or stepping away from our computers. And we’re not cutting back our schedules; we’re sort of committed to running all day. So what can we do in our own little world to be more courteous and respectful?

We can take responsibility for our own behavior and try to use encouragement when we interact with others. Now this doesn’t mean pampering someone with endless, positive messages. Instead, it’s stopping the discouragement of each other with phrases such as ‘What’s wrong with you?’ or ‘Why are you doing that?’. “Rude behavior stems from discouragement, but encouragement makes good things happen,” says Dr. Huber. “Just putting forth the effort to speak nicely to each other can break down hostility, because when you’re doing something positive, you’re making connections and working toward a common goal.”

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This sounds easy enough in theory, especially if we’re parents trying to set an example for our children. But what about those grown-ups who are impatient, angry or just not courteous? If you are interacting with someone that you are not personally connected with, first, realize that it’s not directed toward you. That person who cuts you off or doesn’t let you merge is not plotting against you; he’s actually not seeing you at all. He’s just seeing a car. In that type of situation, it actually may be kinder of you not to point out the rude behavior, and instead, be nice.

Pay It Forward There’s a expression Dr. Huber likes: Taking care of others means we’re taking care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves means we’re taking care of others. So whether you call it paying it forward, going that extra mile or just using common courtesy, challenge yourself to do one kind thing a day.

Use someone’s name when you address him. Slow down and let someone pass you. And if someone forgets to utter a thank you, make sure you tell him to have a wonderful day.

Simply put, we’re better when we’re vested in others. And while the way we live doesn’t always encourage us to have personal connections, we can still seek out ways to encourage each other. caryliving.com | 31

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TALK of the TOWN

Excellence awa r d Wi n n e r

Writer wins National Awards

Mandy Becker’s boutique, Swagger Gifts, was named the 2010 Gifts & Decorative Accessories Magazine’s “Marketing Achievement: Branding and Integrated Marketing” winner at the publication’s annual gala in New York City August 15th.

The National Federation of Press Women recently recognized Cary Living writer Christa Gala for two Cary Living stories.

“The Edible Yard” (April 2009) won second place in the “Special Articles – Food” category, and “Reinventing Yourself” (January 2009) won third place in the “Magazine News Reporting” category.

n at i o n a l blue ribbon awa r d w i n n e r U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan announced that St. Michael School in Cary has received a National Blue Ribbon Award for 2010 – one of only three North Carolina schools, and the only school in the Triangle, to receive this honor.

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conGratulations! stoneHaVen JewelrY wins

2011 sPectruM awards Stonehaven Jewelry Gallery and owner Ron Lodholz have been recognized with not one, but two of the highest honors in jewelry design – AGTA Spectrum Awards™. The competition is hosted by the American Gem Trade Association and is regarded as a benchmark in jewelry design.

The winning pieces were designed and crafted by Lodholz. A stunning 1.41 carat aquamarine lady’s ring set in platinum garnered the AGTA Spectrum Entry Platinum Honors Business/Day Wear Award. Spectacular 18k yellow and rose gold cufflinks featuring 10.96 carat cone-cut garnets with platinum suspensions earned the AGTA Spectrum Men’s Wear 3rd Place Award.

“I’m very proud of these awards and for the recognition that comes with them,” says Lodholz. “At the end of the day, however, my joy comes from creating one piece of jewelry at a time that will make its unique owner feel special and treasured.

Stonehaven is located in Cary’s Stone Creek Village.

in the next issue of

marcH | aPril 2011 REAL ESTATE REBOUNDS

Whether you are in the market to buy or sell a home, things are looking up!

Western Wake realtors show us some of the best homes on the market and tell us why it’s the right time to buy.

FARM FRESH

The warmth of spring is just around the corner and along with it comes trips to the farmer’s market. We’ll share tips from farmers on picking the best fruits and veggies, plus great recipes.

SENSATIONAL SPAS

There are more spas than ever before and their menu of services are extensive – how do you choose the right spa and the right treatment for you?

We take you inside the area’s best spas and share our favorites treatments.

PLUS... children’s boutiques give us a sneak peak at the best looks for kids this spring!

every issue

• siGHtinGs • HealtHY liVinG tiPs • cHeF’s corner • calendar oF eVents • talK oF tHe town • & MucH More!

look for the marcH | aPril edition on shelves the first week of march. caryliving.com | 33

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shopping

SALEM STREET

l o c at e d i n h i s t o r i c downtown apex

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calendar

OF EVENTS

J AN U AR Y | F E B R U AR Y 2 0 1 1

1/1 – New Years Day

1/3 – The Cary Brain Injury Support Group meeting. 6:30-8pm. WakeMed Cary.

Contact Dave Baack at 919-460-9094, Amanda Benson at 919-469-9880 or Adrian Bridges at abridges5@nc.rr.com.

1/8 – Hoop Shoot (age 8-13). 3-6 pm.

Free. Bond Park Community Center. Participate in a free throw contest, co-sponsored with the Cary-Apex Elks Lodge #2798. 919-469-4061.

1/8 – Twelfth Night Madrigal Dinner.

7-10 pm. $60. Herbert C. Young Community Center. Sponsored by The Historical Enrichment Society and Town of Cary. 919-755-8004. www.ncrenfaire.org.

1/9 – Dia de los Reyes Parade & Estrella de la Esperanza Gift-Giving Celebration. 2:30pm. Fred G. Bond Metro Park. 919-460-4963.

1/12, 1/19 & 1/26 – INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLOR PAINTING. 10am - 12pm.

The Nature of Art, 870 Sunrise Drive, Garner. $39 per class includes your watercolor paper.

Register by January 10th. 919-553-5633. www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com.

1/15 – MLK, Jr. Dreamfest 2011.

3 pm. Free. Page-Walker Arts & History Center.

Come celebrate the life and work of Martin Luther King Jr. 919-460-4963.

1/15 – Carol Steins Gardeners Forum – Attracting Bluebirds. 11am. Free, but registration is requested. The Garden Hut, 1004 Old Honeycutt Road, Fuquay-Varina.

919-552-0590. www.NelsasGardenHut.com.

1/16 – Winter Concert Series: Brian Reagin. 4pm. Page-Walker Arts & History Center. Tickets are $15 at the door and subject to availability. Violinist and Concertmaster of the North Carolina Symphony, Brian Reagin performs. 919-460-4963. www.friendsofpagewalker.org.

1/16 – MLK, Jr. Dreamfest 2011: Dream of Service. 2 pm. Free. Stevens Nature Center at Hemlock Bluff Nature Preserve. 919-460-4963.

1/17 – Martin Luther King Jr. Day 1/17 – MLK, Jr. Dreamfest 2011: Dream of Democracy March. 10 am. Free.

Downtown Raleigh. Join Triangle residents at the 30th Annual MLK, Jr. Commemorative March. 919-460-4963.

1/22 & 1/29 – INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLOR BATIK. 12-4pm. The Nature of Art, 870 Sunrise Drive, Garner. $80 plus $10 supplies covers both classes. Register

by January 18th. 919-553-5633. www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com.

1/23 – Heartbeats Jam, Community Drum Circle. 3-4:30pm. Gifts with a Heart in the Swift Creek shopping center, 2867 Jones Franklin Road, Cary. $1 suggested donation. www.raleighdrumcircle.org.

1/23 & 1/24 – Winter Wonderland at Bond Park. 1/23 – 10am - Noon, 1-3pm & 3:30-5:30pm. 1/24 – 10am - Noon, 1-3pm & 3:30-5:30pm. Fred G. Bond Metro Park, multipurpose field. $12 (residents), $15 (nonresidents) age 0-5 with a parent; $10 (residents), $12 (non-residents) age 6-10; $12 (residents), $15 (non-residents) age 11 & up. Bring your sled and come dressed to play. Pre-registration is necessary. 919-469-4100.

1/24 – Triangle Sacred Harp Singers.

2-4 pm. Page-Walker Arts & History Center.

Join the Triangle Sacred Harp Singers and experience Shape Note music from the Original Sacred Harp. 919-233-4630 or 919-460-4963.

1/25 – Friends of the Page-Walker Historic Preservation. 7:30pm. Free.

Page-Walker Arts & History Center. Overview of Cary’s historic resources master plan.

1/28 – Artist of the Month January Reception and Exhibit for Ana Sumner, Cynthia Mollenkopf and Diana Coidan. 200 S. Academy Street, Suite 120, Cary. Free. Opening reception January 28th, 6-9pm; show runs through February 25th. 919-462-2035. www.carygallery.org.

1/30 – MLK, Jr. Dreamfest 2011: Dream of Unity Observance “Tribute to Dr. King”. 11am. Free. Join local religious and secular leaders in remembering the life and work of MLK, Jr. This event is open to persons of all faiths and beliefs.

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1/30 – CAPTAvating Music Enrichment Day (grades k-6). 8:45am - 11:30pm and 12:15-3:30pm. $5. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. http://capta.trailsong.org.

2/2 – Groundhog day 2/5 – Daddy-Daughter Dance (age 4-12).

6-9pm. $17 (residents); $22 (non-residents). Cary Senior Center. Let your daughter’s first dance be memorable at the annual father-daughter event.

919-462-3970.

2/5 – Wintering in the Middle East with the Cary Town Band. 7:30pm. Free. Cary Senior Center. Come in, warm up and join the band on a mid-winter tour of the Middle East.

919-847-8806. www.carytownband.org.

2/7 – The Cary Brain Injury Support Group meeting. 6:30-8pm. WakeMed Cary.

Contact Dave Baack at 919-460-9094, Amanda Benson at 919-469-9880 or Adrian Bridges at abridges5@nc.rr.com.

2/7 – CAPTA Winter Piano Recital.

2pm. Free. Glenaire Auditorium. A CAPTA winter piano recital with students of CAPTA. http://capta.trailsong.org.

2/9, 2/16 & 2/23 – INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLOR PAINTING. 10am - 12pm.

The Nature of Art, 870 Sunrise Drive, Garner. $39 per class includes your watercolor paper.

Register by February 7th. 919-553-5633. www.TheNatureOfArtFrameShop.com.

of two floors of the Page-Walker Arts & History Center will be performed. 919-460-4963. www.friendsofpagewalker.org.

2/21 – President’ s Day

2/12 – Pruning Demo with horticulturist Nelsa Cox. 11am. Free, but registration is requested. The Garden Hut, 1004 Old Honeycutt Road, Fuquay-Varina.

919-552-0590. www.NelsasGardenHut.com.

2/21 – Lake Johnson Jam, Community Drum Circle. 7-8:30pm. $5 admission per person or $10 per family. Lake Johnson Park at the Boat House, 4601 Avent Ferry Road, Raleigh.

Rain or shine. www.raleighdrumcircle.org.

2/14 – Valentine’s Day

2/25-2/26 – Get Ignited! 9th Annual IGNITED BY TRUTH Catholic Conference.

Friday, 7-9:30pm. Saturday, 8:30am - 6:30pm.

Jim Graham Building, North Carolina State Fairgrounds. Registration is required for Saturday events only. 919-789-1IBT. www.ignitedbytruth.com.

2/20 – Winter Concert Series: Cary Players’ Love Bits & Bites 2011 – The Sixth Sense. 4pm. Page-Walker Arts & History Center. Tickets are $15 at the door and subject to availability. Two acts on each

2/27 – Heartbeats Jam, Community Drum Circle. 3-4:30pm. $1 suggested donation. Gifts with a Heart in the Swift Creek shopping center, 2867 Jones Franklin Road, Cary. www.raleighdrumcircle.org.

2/28 – Artist of the Month February Reception and Exhibit for Jayne Cluggish and Denise Lincon.

200 S. Academy Street, Suite 120, Cary.

FREE. Opening reception February 28th, 6-9pm; show runs through March 25th.

919-462-2035. www.carygallery.org.

Send us your events Community events you would like published in the calendar can be emailed to myra@caryliving.com.

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shopping

d ow ntow n C A RY

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apps review |

APPetite for FUN!

This winter, try using your smartphone for something other than dialing. Whether you’re looking to keep yourself occupied with an addicting game or need to find movie times, we’ve got some great ones for ya!

Groupon • Free Groupon features unbeatable deals each day on the best stuff to do in cities across the US. With the iPhone app you can buy deals, access your purchased Groupons, find the ones that are nearby, and redeem them electronically. Never print another Groupon! wine snob • $1.99 Quickly and easily search, find and log the wines you drink along with tasting notes, price, vintage, varietal, location…etc.

Wine Snob will also help you understand Wine and Food pairings, terminology and more!

logmein • $29.99 Directly control your Mac or PC, all your programs and all your files – like that important presentation for your boss or that application that only exists on your work computer – with a simple touch. LogMeIn Ignition for iPhone and iPad lets you remotely access one or more computers anywhere, anytime.

So you never have to worry about leaving anything behind.

sportacular • Free Fast, personalized and easy access to live scores and information on your favorite teams, players, and leagues. Customize your alerts and get instant reminders via push notification for specific events, like game start, scoring plays, red-zone or close game situations. It’s the latest news from Yahoo! Sports plus much more.

angry birds • $.99 Dish out revenge on the green pigs who stole the Birds’ eggs. Angry Birds features hours of gameplay, challenging physics-based castle demolition, and lots of replay value. Each of the 195 levels requires logic, skill, and brute force to crush the enemy. fandango • Free Get movie times and theater listings with the touch of a finger. Watch crisp, full screen movie trailers. Read fan ratings and movie reviews. Buy tickets fast and drama-free. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s showtime!

ihandy level • Free iHandy Level (one of the 5 tools in iHandy Carpenter toolkit) is the most beautiful and accurate level you can get in hand. Unlike some other levels in app store, this one is fully functional with calibration capability.

aroundme • Free AroundMe quickly identifies your position and allows you to choose the nearest Bank, Bar, Gas Station, Hospital, Hotel, Movie Theatre, Restaurant, Supermarket, Theatre and Taxi. For every listing you can see its location on a Map, view the route from where you are or even email the information to a friend. dragon dictation • Free An easy-to-use voice recognition application that allows you to convert your speech to text or email messages. In fact, it’s up to five times faster than typing on the keyboard. So when you’re on-the-go, stop typing and start speaking – from short text messages to longer email messages, and anything in between.

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Pictures of

RETIREMENT A day in the life with local retirees.

BY KATE TURGEON

Remember that old adage about life: the only thing that stays the same is that everything changes? It keeps proving itself to be true. Just ask senior citizens. It’s often easy to acknowledge that situations change, and that needs are different. But the decisions, those can be more difficult to make.

“For many families, the subject of moving comes out of the blue,” says Martha Grove Hipskind, a Raleigh gerontologist. “A fall, a broken hip and suddenly life as they know it is never the same.”

It can be overwhelming, she says, when a hospital team tells a senior citizen that he cannot go home.

That’s why it’s so important for families to make choices

before they have to. “I recommend that everyone takes an active interest in understanding the continuum of care options when they are not needed. This places you in the driver’s seat,” adds Hipskind, who holds a master of science in public health and works in senior health.

The good news, she says, is that there’s a broad range of options for senior living and home care, and that families willing to see what’s out there will often be surprised and rewarded. If you’re wondering what’s “out there,” join Cary Living for a glimpse into the lives of some local senior citizens. Find out why they moved and why they made the choice to stay in their chosen communities.

When Barbara Small turns the pages of a Windsor Point photo album, one would think she’s thumbing through pictures of beloved family members she has known her entire life.

“There’s Annie,” she says of a pretty young woman wearing what’s probably a World War II American military uniform. Small looks down at the old black and white image and pauses before saying, “Everyone here has just had the most exciting, wonderful life. And we’re all family now. I just love it.”

Barbara and her husband Ed have lived at Windsor Point for five years and say they appreciate the ease of living, location and friendships their lifestyle allows. They didn’t arrive at the decision to move lightly. The couple spent a year researching retirement communities and even took a course on the subject at Duke. Cary Living catches up with the busy couple for a day in the life.

Barbara and Ed Small Windsor Point (Fuquay-Varina, NC) 281 units Continuing Care Retirement Community 919.552.4580 • 800.552.0213 www.windsorpoint.com

MORNING Ed, a retired psychotherapist who worked for the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), gets the paper from outside the couple’s two-bedroom apartment and starts the coffee. He heads out to exercise with “Bob’s Group,” a set of retirees he works out with. After his exercise routine, he comes home and wakes Barbara, who also spent her career working in VA hospitals. They have breakfast together at home.

AFTERNOON They head to the pool together, and then meet friends for lunch in the Windsor Point (WP) dining room. (Their favorite meals are Italian. Before moving to WP, the couple spent a year living in Rome.) They like to watch movies together, especially Harry Potter or films from the NY Opera Series.

EVENING The couple enjoys dinner at home before heading out to a WP casino night, card game or performance. “Life doesn’t stop when you come here, you just get freed up from a lot of stuff,” says Ed, who happily gave up yard work in favor of a casual lifestyle with time to pursue his interests, such as volunteering at the library.

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When Joe Baughman and his wife Joyce talk about the home where they raised their three children, they have fond memories to share. They also have a sense of humor.

“We lived in the same house for about 40 years…you try cleaning out that,” laughs Joyce, who lives at the Village at Brookwood.

Today the retired teacher reflects on how she can be just as busy in her new community as she was in her last one. And her husband, who retired from the pharmaceutical industry, discusses how life’s newest problems aren’t really difficulties at all. “There are about 12 public golf courses within 12 miles…the problem is deciding where to go,” says Joe. MORNING Joe is up at 5:30am making fruit salad and bread in the bread maker. And Joyce likes waking up (much later than 5:30am!) to the smell of freshly baking bread. Joyce volunteers at Hospice House while Joe heads out to play tennis.

AFTERNOON After brunch, Joe often volunteers with the Seniors’ Health Insurance Information Program (SHIIP), where he helps fellow residents understand issues such as Medicare, insurance and other concerns. Joyce spends her afternoon working in the library, writing reports or planning Brookwood parties.

They may take a walk around Brookwood’s grounds (formerly farmland), which they describe as expansive and beautiful.

EVENING The couple has dinner at the Village Square, which may mean a buffet meal in the café or a sit down meal in the dining room. It just depends on their mood. After dinner, it’s a movie or musical event such as a performance by a concert pianist. The Baughmans also enjoy lectures by visiting authors and watching sports at home.

Joyce and Joe Baughman The Village at Brookwood (Burlington, NC) 153 units Continuing Care Retirement Community Life Care or Fee-for-Service 336.570.8440 • 800.282.2053 www.villageatbrookwood.org

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Just a few years ago Mildred Bartlett was a widow who wanted to make some lifestyle changes. “I was tired of the house…and I wanted to make this move while I was the person in charge,” says Bartlett.

She wanted to go where she wanted to go. And, for Bartlett, that was Glenaire.

While the move kept her in close proximity to her family and church, life certainly did change.

“It changed for the better. I don’t have to cook. I don’t have to clean. And if something breaks, I do a work order,” laughs the retired registered nurse as she sits on a comfortable couch in her tidy cottage.

Bartlett invited Cary Living into her home, her community and a day in her life.

Here’s a look – MORNING Three days a week, she starts her day with a workout. (She’s up at 6:15am on workout days!) Bartlett may be found inside the expansive workout room or swimming pool, and she sticks to a routine that was custom made for her by Glenaire’s wellness staff. “I’m in good health. I’ve been very blessed to be in good health, so I’m trying to keep it that way,” she says.

Mildred Bartlett Glenaire (Cary, NC) 164 one- and two-bedroom apartments, 2 free standing homes, 46 duplexes Continuing Care Retirement Community 919.460.8095 • 800.225.9573 www.glenaire.org

MID MORNING Bartlett likes to get her “ducks in a row” and checks her calendar for upcoming appointments (she’s on various Glenaire and church committees) and checks her e-mail inbox. She also likes to take time for shopping in the morning.

AFTERNOON Bartlett may have her lunch in the dining room, or save her Glenaire meal for the evening, depending on the day. (Her favorite meal is shrimp and pasta.)

Afternoons bring meetings or rounds of bridge. And if any of her grandchildren are visiting, that’s cause for a trip to the Glenaire café for ice cream.

EVENING Bartlett is a reader, and she especially likes mystery novels, which she may borrow from Glenaire’s library. She also participates in Glenaire activities from trips to performances. “If you really did everything that’s available for you, you’d be busy every day of the week, which is really nice for the people who don’t drive,” explains Bartlett.

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It was decision time for Ray Bauer. His wife had passed away and he wasn’t feeling good about living alone or keeping up with tedious housework. The Bethel, Pennsylvania native examined his options. “I watched Jordan Oaks being built and, well, I developed a kinship with it,” he says with a chuckle.

He didn’t know a soul, but began making friends immediately. “That’s one of the big things…meeting people,” explains Bauer, who retired from a career in education, which included work as a teacher and college athletic director. While no two days are the exactly the same, here’s a look at how he likes to spend his time: EARLY MORNING Breakfast in the dining room at 8am. After breakfast, he heads home with a to-go cup of coffee and reads the paper.

MID MORNING Appointments and meetings. As chairman of the advisory council, he acts as a liaison between residents and management of Jordan Oaks. “I hate to keep saying me me me,” says Bauer in a tone that’s as humble as it is soft. “But it’s a comfort to know that there are people here who help people…we take care of one another.”

AFTERNOON Back to the dining room with friends until about 1:45pm. When asked if it’s a leisurely lunch, he responds playfully: “You’re supposed to when you’re retired.” Post-lunch nap follows.

EVENING Dinner, followed by a movie or card game with friends. Bauer also enjoys live choral programs that come to Jordan Oaks. But if sports are on, he’s watching.

The Steelers fan has grown to love some local teams, including the Tar Heels, a team he began to like when a former player of his attended the University of North Carolina. But he’s not exclusive. “I enjoy good basketball…so I like to watch Duke and N.C. State, too,” he says.

Ray Bauer Jordan Oaks (Cary, NC) 115 Garden Apartments Independent Living Community 919.249.7286 • 800.322.0999 www.holidaytouch.com

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lifetim

Journeyman Golf Architect Lands Job of a Lifetime

By DAVID DROSCHAK | PHoTograPHy By DAVID DROSCHAK

Cary’s Chuck Smith designed tribute course to Payne Stewart in Missouri most, if not all cary residents would be stumped to come up with the man who planned and laid out most of the town’s 45 miles of greenways. Even if you did produce the correct answer – landscape architect chuck Smith – it’s a long shot to name the three golf courses he’s built in a rather limited foray into that ultra-competitive field. you’re not alone. While golfers recognize Tom Fazio, Pete Dye and Jack nicklaus as top-tier golf architects who have produced hundreds of multi-million dollar courses on the world’s best golf properties, the obscure 58-year-old Smith had a resume of just crooked creek in Fuquay-varina and river ridge in raleigh before he was tabbed to design a tribute to the life and legacy of the late Payne Stewart in the state of missouri.

What started as a proposed $8 million golf course in 2003 as Smith first walked the rocky and hilly terrain of Branson, missouri was recently completed as the $31 million Payne Stewart golf club.

The club is equipped with a 25,000 square foot clubhouse that doubles as a memorabilia museum to the late golfer, who won the 1999 U.S. open at Pinehurst before his sudden death a few months later aboard a private jet that lost cabin pressure and crashed.

at first glance, Smith’s involvement in the memorial course to the Hall of Fame golfer is difficult to understand and almost implausible. Why would a developer from Birmingham, alabama who had a previous connection with one of the game’s greatest architects – Fazio – settle on a guy like Smith, who blazed a profitable path with his Triangle landscape architecture work but whose golf architecture experience would be akin to “dabbling” compared to the giants of the business?

Well, planners of Payne Stewart golf club didn’t want a highprofile architect who would overshadow Stewart’s memory, and when professional golfer and Tv analyst Bobby clamplett was asked to consult on the project and possibly design it, he recommended his longtime cary friend and design colleague – none other than chuck Smith – for the job.

Smith had been down this road with clampett before, the two partnering on a golf course in Tennessee with the pro clampett as the “name” on the project and Smith as the hands-on architect who produced the design work. other potential projects over the last decade had also been floated in various states, even in the caribbean,

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ime

Top: Morning mist on the opening hole of Payne Stewart Golf Club. Right: Landscape architect Chuck Smith. © APRIL MANESS PHOTOGRAPHY

but none developed beyond the planning stages for the two friends. “i’ve had these calls before,” Smith said. “yeah, we’re going to colorado, we’re going to St. martin, we’re going to oklahoma. By this time i’m obviously a little bit more jaded and my eyes are opened more, and i thought, ‘Well, this will be fun – i enjoy going on trips, but i‘ll believe it when i see it.’ and i thought, ‘Why are they talking to us? Why is anybody talking to me?’ Especially when you understand how hard this business is. it used to be for every 100 golf courses on paper, 10 may be designed and two get built. now, maybe one gets built today out of 1,000 on paper because the money is so different.”

However, it became “real” for Smith when Payne Stewart golf club developer mark Elgin flew to the Triangle to check out Smith’s limited golf course work. “mark came and looked at river ridge and crooked creek to see if i had done anything,” Smith said with a chuckle. “He had worked with Fazio in Birmingham, so he had experiences with different designers. and to this day i have no idea why we got the job. “i’m sure we did it cheaper than Fazio would have done it. i know the game well enough to know that if i’m going to get a job i’m not going after caryliving.com | 45

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The 599-yard 11th hole ends with a green 47 yards in depth.

market rates, I’ve got to go with something less than that. I know the reality of it, and that was probably factored in.”

For Smith, who grew up in Charlotte watching his artist father produce golf marketing material for courses like Pine Needles in the 1960s, and whose first and second loves were landscape design and golf, the Missouri experience seemed almost surreal to him.

“When you’re a boy and grow up playing in dirt... to do that on 200 acres, moving all that dirt around, you’re just being a big kid again,” said Smith, who has a master’s degree from N.C. State.

With that said, the terrain in the southwest corner of Missouri – in the heart of the Ozarks – is more rock than dirt, and Smith set out to “tame” the site with limited rock expertise.

“At the beginning of this I would say I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t know what I was doing,” Smith said sheepishly. “At that time, I knew rock a little bit from River Ridge, but I didn’t know Missouri rock.

The level of difficulty in building that thing took me places I had never been before. But you don’t eat the elephant all at one time, you do it one bite at a time. If you do it day by day, you can figure it out.”

Smith oversaw dozens of 12-foot sections of rock blasting in order to produce workable golf course topography as the price tag of the project began to increase and the time spent building the layout stretched to two and a half years – long by normal golf architect standards.

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The 17th hole displays a beautiful Ozark vista Smith had to work with.

“I love the view of the first hole because it is very friendly for that first shot,” Smith said. “Everything kind of bowls toward the fairway, but what you don’t see is the 25 feet of fill down to the ravine. You’ve got this partnership with the real estate developers, so they were basically giving us the low land for golf. If you can tame the low lands I think you get great views because you’re looking out over things rather than on top when things are falling away, so you have a completely different experience, but then you are dealing with water. Three-fourths of golf course design is managing water. The cost gets up to $20 million quickly because there is a lot of pipe and things you’re dealing with.

“We walked that site in the snow, walked hundreds of acres just looking for features. The ninth hole has a little waterfall around the green – that well that was a wonderful thing to discover when you’re sort of walking through the woods and there it is,” Smith said.

“If you can remember every shot, then you’ve got something.

There are a lot of memorable shots at Payne Stewart Golf Club. You can go back and recall most of your round, even a year later. If you create a place that can do that then it’s a better golf experience.”

“The ultimate compliment is we’ve been opened a little more than a year and we hold a letter of intent with the PGA Tour, and they want to bring an event here,” said T.J. Baggett, director of golf at Payne Stewart Golf Club.

For now, Smith is back in a Cary office, having just finished off plans for a new park in Clayton as well as designing a 4-mile greenway around the city of Greensboro. He’s also fielding his fair share of compliments on a golf course layout that borders on the spectacular while paying tribute to a golfing great with Tar Heel connections.

“I’m certainly very proud and I knew what this was for me, and that I will never do another golf course that had this kind of money thrown at it, and this kind of story behind it, and the potential that this has got,” Smith said.

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e v fiLocal Brews

| beer review

By April Schlanger, Owner, Sip…a wine store

Beer is one of those unique beverages I could consume at any time of the day. A cream stout is great with brunch and a wheat can wet your whistle after a long afternoon of touch football and is great with a big bowl of chili by the fire or when watching football. You don’t need a fancy glass, and when you are all finished the bottle recycles. If you really want to be an eco-friendly beer consumer, stick to local beers. North Carolina has over 55 local brewers, and some of them are even organic. It doesn’t matter if you tailgate or stay at home to watch the big game; support those local teams and your local brewery at the same time.

1 Mother Earth, Weeping Willow Wit

| $1.80 A completely “green” brewery, solar powered and located in Kinston. Their Belgian Wit is easily enjoyed with a light hoppy note; a touch of orange peel and coriander add zest. Serve with grilled chicken, grilled tuna, turkey burgers or anything with a little spicy sauce.

2 The Duck-Rabbit, Milk Stout

| $1.54 This brewery makes some of the best dark beers in the state. Located in Farmville, rumor has it they sing to the yeast during fermentation.

A great brunch beer – serve with frittatas, sausages, scotch eggs and anything with bacon.

3 J.K. Scrumpy’s Solstice Hard Cider

| $6.60 This is not local, but is one of the best ciders to enjoy this time of year. J.K. Scrumpy’s from Michigan is certified organic and their solstice hard cider is brewed with ethically traded vanilla, cinnamon and their own local maple. Best with pulled pork sandwiches.

4 Pisgah Brewing Company, Solstice | $10.69 A certified organic brewery in Black Mountain. Their solstice is a triple ale, with dry fruit flavors and soft malty notes. Amazing with barbequed chicken, salmon burgers, chicken wings or citrus glazed pork.

5 Highland Cold Mountain Winter Ale

| $4.73 This Asheville brewery’s Cold Mountain Winter Ale is deep red with aromas of caramel, raisin, toffee and cinnamon. Finish like a hoppy graham cracker.

Perfect with spice-rubbed prime rib, fried turkey or burger with fried onions and blue cheese.

[3]

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shopping

S O U T H C A RY

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The Building Blocks of

Children’s Health Tips for Staying Ahead of the Curve

By Kristy Stevenson

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Keeping your child healthy is a big job! Their physical, mental and social well-being is vital to success at school, at play, and throughout their formative years – and not just during cold and flu season. Most families know the basics: offer healthy foods, make sure kids get enough sleep and exercise, and insure their safety. It’s also important for kids to see their pediatrician and get regular checkups. These visits are a chance to check your child’s development while catching or preventing problems. Each of these steps builds on the others to ensure quality care for your youngster.

Research shows that a healthy nutritional regime includes a variety of foods with plenty of grains, vegetables and fruits; should be low in fat, saturated fat, and cholesterol; be moderate in sugars and salt; include enough calcium and iron to meet your child’s growing body’s requirements; and not include an abundance of fast food, soft drinks, high calorie or high fat snacks, or over-sized portions. For younger children, it is also important not to consume more than 16-24 ounces of milk and/or 4-6 ounces of juice per day. You can help your child develop good eating habits by modeling good eating yourself.

Where age appropriate, spend quality time together asking children to help with meal preparation. You’ll be surprised how small steps in this direction will both increase a healthy appreciation for food and open the lines of communication between you and your kids.

Growing children require about ten hours of sleep per night. Those who are very young, of course, also benefit from naps during the day. Make bedtime special with a routine that includes baths, teeth brushing, pajamas and some one-on-one time like reading a story or talking about their day. This practice will ensure relaxed, healthy sleep at any age.

If possible, kids should play outside every day. Set a limit on the amount of time spent online or in front of the television.

Fresh air and plenty of exercise will do wonders for their health while clearing their heads to tackle the challenges of the day.

Other than checkups, school-age children should be seen by a medical professional for significant weight gain or loss; sleep problems or change in behavior; a fever higher than 102 degrees; rashes or skin infections; frequent sore throats; and breathing problems. But when you need more than just the basic building blocks to good care, it may be time to consult a specialist. Here are some tips from experts in their field on how to care for children from teeth to toes: Primary Family Care In this age of rapidly changing health care, family medical practices serve everyone from nurseries to nursing homes. Family practitioners specialize in general family care and are trained in a number of medical disciplines including internal medicine, pediatrics, obstetrics, gynecology, general surgery and psychiatry. “Some of the most difficult and rewarding patients are our teenagers, who like our health care system are also going through rapid changes,” says Dr. Alexander Newman who runs a family practice in Cary. Newman says the most difficult challenges teens face are social as they transition to adulthood and discover that friends and outside influences take on greater importance in their existence. Seeing the same patients and caryliving.com | 51

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Family physicians can also treat drug use and open the floor to a discussion of sexual issues. Regular exams are again stressed as it is important for a child to establish a trusting relationship with a practitioner. As healthcare’s front line, primary care physicians focus on preventive medicine, monitoring patient health, and educating all age groups about the keys to longevity.

their families for much of their lives allows primary care physicians to develop a rapport with patients and be especially familiar with the physical, psychological and lifestyle factors important to their health. For this reason, family practitioners can help guide parents and teens through the tough years. “Treating the asthmas, ADD, infectious diseases and other illnesses are easy. Training kids to eat healthy, exercise, not smoke, balance work and play, set goals and develop a sense of self-worth is actually much harder,” says Newman. It’s the involvement of parents and close family members that usually define how everything works out.

Newman aspires to be a small town doctor providing personal care. Like most family practices, he offers the garden variety of childhood medical needs: immunizations for entrance to kindergarten through college, sports physicals, sutures, x-rays and labs.

Allergy Complications With offices in Raleigh and Cary, the doctors at Carolina Allergy and Asthma Consultants treat the full spectrum of allergic issues including rhinitis (hay fever), asthma, eczema, and food allergies. “Typical symptoms of allergic rhinitis include stuffy, runny nose, sneezing and itchy eyes,” says Dr. Alan Aarons. “Sometimes these symptoms follow a seasonal pattern, but may be year-round if the patient is allergic to dust, pet dander, or mold.”

If your child’s symptoms are infrequent, an over-the-counter allergy medicine is usually sufficient. But if they appear more often, ask yourself: (1) Are allergies causing my child secondary symptoms such as chronic sinus infections or difficulty breathing?

(2) Do antihistamines control their allergy symptoms, or simply create side effects such as drowsiness? (3) Are their allergies or asthma decreasing their quality of life, interfering with school, work, recreational, or social activities? If so, an evaluation with an allergy specialist is often helpful to determine what allergens are causing the problem and what treatment plan would be beneficial.

“Asthma is another common condition affecting children.

If your’s are having difficulty breathing with sports or exercise, an evaluation is recommended,” says Dr. Aarons. Food allergies in kids have also been on the rise over the last 15 years. Reactions to foods

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can include eczema or more severe anaphylactic shock.

The most common food allergens are milk, eggs, peanuts, wheat, soy and seafood. Allergy testing is useful in determining if a food allergy is triggering symptoms.

If you see any of these red flags, Carolina Allergy & Asthma has been providing services to Triangle families for over a quarter of a century. As specialists, they believe they can be most helpful to patients in consultation with their primary care provider, delivering feedback and follow up in order to maintain seamless coverage for all medical needs.

Children’s Cardiac Care Carolina Children’s Cardiology in Cary is an outreach practice of the Pediatric Cardiologists at the University of North Carolina. The office was established seven years ago to offer cardiac services locally and more efficiently, decreasing wait times for non-urgent appointments to less than two weeks. The clinic offers modern diagnostic and therapeutic cardiac services to patients with known or suspected heart disease and treats patients ranging from the unborn fetus to the young adult.

“Patients can now have a comprehensive cardiac evaluation in an outpatient setting which includes electrocardiograms, echocardiograms, fetal echocardiograms, pacing and defibrillator follow-up, and transplant follow-up,” says Elman Frantz, MD. The team of cardiologists treats a wide array of cardiac abnormalities including arrhythmias (in fetuses, newborns, and children), all forms of congenital heart disease (in infants and children), hyperlipidemia, and heart failure.

“Our physicians also provide around the clock consultative services and inpatient evaluations at WakeMed Cary Hospital,” says Dr. Frantz. If your child is in need of cardiac care, consult your pediatrician and call 1877-UNC-KIDS or 919-859-2676 to schedule an appointment with one of UNC’s Pediatric Cardiologists.

For your convenience, additional clinic locations include Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Greensboro, Burlington, Fayetteville, Wilmington, and Rutherfordton.

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Dental Health Experts say that nutrition plays the biggest part in the dental challenges today’s children face – eating too many sugary foods, sodas and juice can cause rampant tooth decay. “Brushing and flossing effectively to remove plaque is challenging for children,” says dental hygienist Nicole Adams of The Happy Tooth Cosmetic and Family Dentistry in Cary. The best defense against cavities is to brush and floss at least twice a day to remove plaque from between

teeth and below the gumline, and have regular dental checkups.

Preventative care can help stop problems from occurring and keep minor problems from becoming major ones.

“When you eat starchy or sugary foods, try to eat them with your meal instead of as a snack to minimize the number of times your teeth that are exposed to acid,” advises Luz Estrada, DDS. It is also important to make sure your child’s drinking water is fluoridated. If your water supply does not contain fluoride, your dentist or pediatrician may prescribe daily fluoride supplements to harden tooth enamel.

“Children can see the dentist as early as the eruption of their first teeth, or more ideally by the age of one,” says Dr. Estrada. “It’s a smart practice to bring siblings when older children visit – this not only allows the dentist to examine the teeth but also helps the child feel more comfortable in the dentist’s chair as they get older.” By the age of three, your child can begin regular cleanings.

Did you know that parents should still help their children brush their teeth (at least once a day) until the age of seven or eight? After that, parents should supervise to make sure it’s being done effectively. Being conscious of your child’s sugar and soda intake will help prevent decay. Daily oral hygiene and regular six month checkups also go a long way to maintaining optimum dental health.

After Hours & Urgent Care Try as you may, it’s not always possible to keep kids from getting hurt. By their very nature, active and athletic children are more prone to injury. Whether it’s a fall on the playground or a tackle on the football field, many injuries are not preventable – they just

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happen. And when they occur after hours, you’ll need to locate a pediatrics provider for treatment.

Urgent care clinics are convenient and professional options for conditions that require quick medical attention, but are not life threatening. Serving as an alternative to the hospital emergency room and your primary care physician, urgent care facilities accept walk-in visits and many offer extended hours on evenings and weekends. And with patient approval, doctor notes and test results can be forwarded to your personal physician.

“In the urgent care setting, the most common childhood injuries are associated with ankles, wrists, elbows and lacerations,” says Dr. Leslie McKinney, Medical Director at Accent Urgent Care in Cary. For young children, many of these injuries can be prevented with good parental supervision and common sense. On the athletic field, however, the use of properly fitted protective equipment is the key. This includes helmets and body pads, as well as mouth, wrist and shin guards. “Trampolines, skate boards, ice skates and roller blades account for a significant number of the pediatric injuries that we treat,” says McKinney.

“Because children are still growing and developing, parents should take injuries seriously and have them professionally evaluated,” says McKinney. This is especially true with any trauma to the head as persistent pain, dizziness, limited range of motion, the inability to bear weight, and swelling are all indicators of a potentially serious injury.

Accent Urgent Care can treat anything from medical illnesses (allergic reactions, pink eye, and dehydration requiring IV therapy, for example) to trauma, occupational medicine and physicals.

The Triangle area is fortunate to have a variety of qualified healthcare professionals to choose from when caring for families large and

small. Like many other aspects of child rearing, you can do online research, consult friends and neighbors or a trusted healthcare professional, and ask for referrals when selecting your best fit. Having each of these blocks in place will ensure that you are doing the best parenting job possible – and if a situation arises where further intervention is necessary, the experts are at your disposal.

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financial focus

Ring in Some New Year’s Financial Resolutions

by Bonnie Fischer, aams financial advisor | edward jones

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Now that 2011 is here, you may want to make some New Year’s resolutions. Planning to volunteer? Go to the gym more often? Learn a new language? All worthy ambitions, of course, but this year, why not add some financial resolutions as well?

Which resolutions should you make? Here are a few ideas to consider: q Look for opportunities. With the uncertainties in the economy and the volatility of the financial markets, many people decide to head to the investment “sidelines” for a while. Yet, this environment may actually be a good one for investors with patience, discipline and the ability to look beyond yesterday’s headlines. For one thing, many quality securities are now good values. Also, we’re still seeing low inflation and low interest rates – factors that may lead to greater economic demand and improved strength in the financial markets.

q Don’t over-react to market swings. Over the past few years, we’ve seen plenty of sudden, sharp swings in the financial markets, and you’re likely going to see more of them in 2011. Don’t overreact to either the “ups” or the “downs” of the market. Over-reacting leads to short term thinking – and successful investors are the ones who can maintain a long-term perspective.

q Rebalance when necessary. At least once a year, review and rebalance your portfolio, as necessary, to make sure it still reflects your goals, risk tolerance and family situation, all of which can change over time.

q Reduce your debts. While the sluggish economy of the past couple of years has obviously been a cause of concern for everyone, we have seen one “silver lining” in that many people, concerned about overspending, have shed some of their debt load. The less money you have to spend on your debts, the more you’ll have available to invest for your future, so do what you can to cut down on what you owe.

q Maintain adequate cash levels. As an investor, you’ve got at least two good reasons for maintaining enough cash in your portfolio. First, having adequate cash available means you’ll be ready to act quickly to take advantage of good investment opportunities. And second, by having a cash cushion, you won’t be forced to liquidate long-term investments to pay for short-term needs such as a major car repair, a new furnace, a big doctor’s bill, and so on.

By following these suggestions, you can position yourself to make progress toward your long-term goals in 2011 – and in all the New Years that follow.

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h e a lt h y

living

Compassion, back pain and spine surgery

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By Dr. rOBErt LaCin, MC, FaanS | raleigH neUrosUrgical clinic

Back pain, especially in the lower back, affects at least 80 percent

problem is that in close to 80 percent of low back pain cases, doctors

of Americans at some point in their lives. It has been estimated that

simply don’t know what structure in the back is causing the pain. In the

the cost for treatment of back pain is more than $26 billion each year.

absence of a clear diagnosis, many treatments are bound to fail.

For such a common problem, however, treating back pain can

The best approach to back pain is what we call “multi-modal,”

be complex. Medications, physical therapy, chiropractic services, in-

which is to try a combination of therapies such as exercise, medi-

jections and surgery are just some of the treatments available today

cation, relaxation techniques and behavioral modification under the

for back pain.

guidance of an empathetic and compassionate physician. Most phy-

If surgery didn’t relieve the pain, doctors sometimes told (and sometimes still do!) patients the pain was all in their head. We know

sicians believe in exhausting the least invasive therapies before moving to the next step.

now the success rate of fusion surgery for low back pain without a

We perform many back surgeries, including fusions, however,

pinched nerve and near normal MRIs (showing typical degenerative

we’re conservative with recommending surgery and like most doctors

changes) is, at most, 30 percent. Conversely, the success rate of back

do so only when we have a high degree of confidence in the success

surgery for pinched nerves and other obvious abnormalities found on

rate of the procedure.

MRIs is extremely high, often dramatic.

When physicians make a proper diagnosis and truly understand the reason behind the pain, the resolution is fairly straightforward. The

Research and methods to treat back pain are constantly evolving I tell anyone with back pain to consider consulting a doctor to explore all their options.

around

se cond t i m e

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h e a lt h y

living

Sick…

and Tired?

By Dr. Bhavani Lagadapati | Carolina Primary Care & Women’s Health

The holiday season is a distant memory and you’re still standing. At least for the moment. For there’s no denying that pain in your throat and stuffy nose that seems to settling in. Or that achy, chill filled feeling hinting that you may be coming down with something. But what?

The Common Cold “There are several viruses that can cause a cold, so symptoms, severity and duration will vary,” says Dr. Lagadapati.

Symptoms: Runny nose, headaches, sneezing, sore throat and sometimes, a low grade fever.

How Long Will It Last? Usually one week, but sometimes up to two weeks.

Doctor’s Visit: Not necessary Treatment: There are several over the counter medications, such as decongestants, pain killers and cough medications that can help treat the common cold. Dr. Lagadapati also recommends being patient, as a cold can take a while to run its course, as well as drinking lots of fluids and trying some of your tried and true, home remedies.

Prevention: There is no vaccine for the common cold. Instead, take a Vitamin C supplement, wash your hands frequently and avoid exposure to people with colds and overcrowded areas.

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The flu can strike as early as October, with cases increasing in January and peaking in February. And the common cold is just that - so common that you’re likely to catch one during the cold winter months. So how can you tell which one is ailing you?

Truth be told, it can be difficult to determine. Both are respiratory illnesses, both are caused by viruses and both have similar symptoms. But paying close attention to those symptoms can help you get on the path to treatment. Dr. Bhavani Lagadapati of Carolina Primary Care & Women’s Health educates us on the differences between the two.

The Flu “The flu is more serious than a cold and presents more risks for certain groups, such as pregnant women, people with chronic lung conditions, people with low immunity, children and the elderly. Getting diagnosed early is important to avoid any complications,” says Dr. Lagadapati.

Symptoms: Headache, body pain, high fever with chills and fatigue. It’s possible but not essential to have a stuffy or runny nose, sore throat and dry cough.

How Long Will it Last? A few days to a few weeks, depending on your age and your health.

Doctor’s Visit: As soon as possible. “Medication for the flu works best if taken within the first 48 hours of the onset of symptoms,” says Dr. Lagadapati.

Treatment: Tamiful, an oral medication or Relenza, an inhaled medication. Keep in mind that treatment will only shorten the duration of the illness and the likelihood of developing complications such as bronchitis, pneumonia, or ear infections. There are also over the counter, symptom relieving medications for fever and pain.

Prevention: The best protection is getting an annual vaccination.

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1

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e i t th n e s s e ick e ts d i u p li g 2

4

3

f yo e ux u : co y, L at s e og ip l l i t b ty Ba t’s au t ue et Be ue q i .n q t F all Fi ou ofit k y ec ut Ch bea e th

6

s rte

5

So many women enter my store daily in search of “the perfect lipstick”.

With so many options available, it is no wonder there is so much confusion when it comes to choosing lipstick. Use this guide to help find the shade that is right for you.

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skin...

1

For medium skin: Rose tones and mauves

are perfect picks for medium or olive complexions.

Bobbi Brown Creamy Lip Color in “Rose Petal”.

Available at Bobbi Brown counters, $22

2

For cool skin: If your skin is cool with

pink undertones try blue or pink based reds. Paula Dorf Lipsicle in “Renoir”. Available at Luxe Beauty Boutique, $19

3

For warm skin: A brown or orange based

red will typically look best. Dior “Rouge Dior” Lip Color in “Blazing Red”. Available at Sephora, $30

4

For fair skin: Don’t overwhelm your fair

skin with dark lipstick, instead choose light, cool toned pinks or light peach shades. Paula Dorf Lipstick in “Prelude”. Available at Luxe Beauty Boutique, $21

lips...

5

For Full lips: My first instinct is to shout

“lucky you”! That being said, most of us want what we don’t have so if you really can’t learn to love your full lips downplay them with matte formulas.

Avoid gloss since they only make lips look fuller.

Mac Cosmetics Matte Lipstick in “Honey Love”.

Available at Mac counters, $14.50

6

For thin lips: Everyone can’t be born with

full lips. If you aren’t blessed with an Angelina-like pout, stick to shiny formulas & avoid dark shades.

Laura Mercier Lip Glace in “Meringue”. Available at Sephora, $22

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cary living

sightings

Ca ry Ac a d e m y H o l i day S ho p p e

The Cary Academy Holiday Shoppe was held on December 2nd-4th in the Sports and Education Annex on campus. The shoppe had gifts for everyone on your shopping list. More than 100 unique vendors were present. Proceeds support scholarships and community service.

Blue ri bbon award winner St. Michael School was chosen by the U.S. Department of Education as a distinguished Blue Ribbon Award winner.

Congressman David Price presented St. Michael’s School with a blue ribbon flag on November 8th.

D i a m o n ds D i r e c t Holiday Cha r i t y J e w e l ry Event

On December 2nd, Diamonds Direct held an event to benefit WakeMed patients as guests shopped fine jewelry collections.

To finish the evening, one lucky guest won a 0.75 carat diamond in the champagne diamond drop.

L a B ou t i que for Kid s Fa sh ion S h ow

On November 20th, La Boutique for Kids held their fashion show at Smart Momma.

The event started with the holiday fashion show, followed by two seminars. Participants enjoyed face painting, great door prizes and promotions, plus the La Boutique for Kids winter clearance sale.

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Want your event featured in our sightings? Call

April ManesS • 919.621.8529

M ounta i n a i r es C o nc e rt

Mountain Aires concert, the third performance in the Friends of the Page-Walker Hotel’s Winter Concert Series was held on December 19th.

Each member of this group of young acoustic musicians is from Wake County.

Cupca k e s & Ca sh mere

On October 21st, Cupcakes and Cashmere was held at the Apex Chamber Depot and down Salem Street with more than 20 participating shops and boutiques. Moon & Lola, the presenting sponsor, held a scavenger hunt throughout downtown featuring their signature jewelry.

B L i ng n i gh t at a d o re

Adore held their BLING Night December 1st from 6-9pm.

Guests enjoyed great food, refreshments, and live music as they shopped fabulous discounts throughout the store.

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cary living

sightings A pex Cham ber Bu s Tou r On Novemebr 17th, the Apex Chamber of Commerce held the second of their bi-annual bus tours. Participants toured available commercial space, both completed and under construction.

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bridal guide 2011

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bridal guide 2011

Your Story

We’ll Help You Write

By Illyse Lane

Do you have the ring on your finger? Are you floating on air? Take a deep breath and savor the moment, because life is about to get busy.

Whether your dream wedding is going to be intimate

of your closest friends, the elements remain the same, with a list so long you’re guaranteed to be using at least a few spreadsheets to keep track of your things-to-do.

But never fear. Cary Living is here to help. Because we know that all of the details – the ones you’re about to worry about – will ultimately become your story. It will be the story of how you found your perfect dress, those fabulous invita-

© April Maness Photography

and cozy or a finely orchestrated event with a few hundred

your first dance, memorable toasts and scrumptious food.

or if you prefer, exchange cupcakes. And if you’d like save

It’s the story that began when you first met your groom-to-

a few cupcakes for your first anniversary, never fear. “Cup-

be. And the one that continues to be written as you take the

cakes, just like cake, can be frozen,” reminds Emig.

steps to live your life as man and wife.

When it comes to flavor, classic chocolate and vanilla

As you tend to the details, keep in mind that the

are always loved, with key lime, coconut and red velvet

trend in weddings is to make it your own. Mixing timeless

becoming quick favorites. Yet more creative choices are in

traditions with more modern choices is what being a bride

demand with filled cupcakes making a splash. “Our cus-

today is all about, whether it’s save-the-date cards with

tomers also adore our spumoni cupcake, which is a blend-

your photograph or a birdcage veil.

ing of chocolate cake swirled with cherry cake topped with

Another trend that’s here to stay? The cupcake. The

pistachio buttercream frosting, a Swiss meringue butter-

trend that has swept the nation is also taking over the wed-

cream, which is simply divine, as well as a ganache on the

ding reception, replacing traditional, tiered cakes. This

top of Boston cream pie,” says Woodhouse.

doesn’t surprise Michaele Woodhouse and Lauren Emig of

If each combination sounds better than the next,

A Cupcake Diva, who believe that we should all be able to

you’re in luck. Since every cupcake is individually made,

have our cupcake and eat it too. “A cupcake can be casual

you have lots of flexibility when it comes to design and fla-

and fun, but it can also be very elegant, with an elaborate

vor, allowing you to capture the feel of the wedding while

presentation, allowing it to fit into any wedding just per-

pleasing even the pickiest guest’s palette. “A cupcake is

fectly,” says Woodhouse.

truly the perfect portion that is sure to be enjoyed by every

If you’re into keeping with tradition, cupcakes can

guest,” says Emig.

hold their own. While you won’t need the standard cutting

So figure out your own combination of what’s old and

–the-cake ceremony, you can absolutely take a moment to

what’s new and make your wedding your own. It will be

either feed your new spouse a bit of a delicious cupcake,

your story to share for years to come.

Special thanks to A Cupcake Diva for providing the cake pops used on the Bridal Guide cover.

tions, and the amazing location. It will turn into the story of

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Jewels

bridal guide 2011

All the Right

These days, it’s not common for a couple to shop for an engagement ring together. Yet Ron Lodholz, owner and creative director of Stonehaven Jewelry, is always touched when a man comes in by himself to choose the

right ring. “A man loves having the opportunity to give some thought to

JM Edwards Jewelry

the lady he’ll be proposing to,” says Lodholz. “The ring is the symbol of the love story that will be told and then retold.”

While it’s possible to find the perfect engagement ring displayed in a

Right now, the trend in weddings is freedom of expression, and this

jeweler’s case, your independent, local jeweler can provide you with guid-

trend extends to all wedding day jewelry, whether it’s a bracelet you are

ance for designing a one-of-a-kind, custom ring suited to your personality

wearing, a gift for your bridesmaids, a gift for your new groom or his gift

and relationship. “Brides are thrilled to discover that we can take elements

to you. Your jeweler can work with you to create a piece that will be an

from different rings, and blend and marry those elements to make their

incredible, welcomed surprise, becoming a keepsake for years to come.

own special ring,” says Rose Edwards, president of J.M. Edwards Jewelry.

“We’ve designed custom cufflinks for one bride, and one groom chose a

“Additionally, unlike a ring that is mass produced, a hand made ring

loose stone that he felt was the exact color of his bride’s eyes and trans-

will be guaranteed to have a smooth, comfortable fit and be suitable to

formed it into a stunning necklace to present to her on their wedding

your hand,” says Lodholz.

day,” says Lodholz.

So what’s in style? Colored stones such as sapphires are gaining

Most importantly, the personal relationship you have developed

interest but diamonds remain the classic for engagement rings. “When

with your jeweler when choosing your wedding jewelry will continue on

it comes to cut, both cushion and asscher cuts are very popular. Plati-

into your married life. “There will be many occasions for both giving and

num continues to be the preferred band for women,” says Edwards. For

receiving jewelry as a gift. Developing a relationship with your jeweler

the groom, platinum and gold are making room for metals such as tita-

now will not only help your jewelry be perfect on your wedding day, but

nium, palladium and even stainless steel. Whatever materials you favor,

will ensure that you have someone to go to for all of life’s special occa-

remember the rings you choose should reflect your love.

sions,” says Edwards.

Stonehaven Jewelry

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Planned

bridal guide 2011

Perfectly

You know what you want for your wedding. And you’re a

Ultimately, your wedding planner will use her experi-

smart woman, capable of implementing your vision. Even

ence to ensure that your wedding is flawless. So how do you

so, it may make sense to get a little help with your to-do’s.

go about finding the wedding planner that will meet your

“A bride can do it all by herself, but she doesn’t have to,”

needs? Katz suggests that you consider the following:

says Catherine Katz, owner of Cherished Celebrations™, a full-service special event production and design firm.

Understand the Role: Understand the difference

between a vendor’s wedding planner, who may focus on that

Whether you want a wedding planner to help you with

particular aspect of the day, such as a contact at the church

all aspects of the wedding – think invitations, vendor and

or the host at the reception site, compared to a professional

venue selection, dress, décor, linen choice and accommoda-

wedding planner, who will work with all of the vendors, the

tions for out of town guests – or you’d prefer to have some-

bride, groom, and their families leading up to and on the

one help only with the rehearsal and coordinate the wedding

wedding day. “The professional wedding planner will be the

day, a professional wedding planner will tailor her services

bride’s advocate for the entire event, ensuring the day is as

to meet your needs. “Working with a wedding planner can

perfect as it can be,” says Katz.

help you save time and money, reduce your stress level, and

The Value of a Good Match: You’ll be spend-

most importantly, give you peace of mind in knowing that

ing quite a bit of time with the person who becomes your

the details are taken care of, allowing you to relax and enjoy

wedding planner. While it’s essential that you trust her to

your special day,” says Katz.

execute your vision, it’s even more important that you are

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bridal guide 2011 very comfortable with her. Katz recommends asking your potential planner simple questions about her experience as well as why she loves her job, which will help you determine if you’re a good fit to work together. “Additionally, you should look for a planner to have professional credentials. This is an indicator of how serious they are about their business,” says Katz.

Understanding Vendor Selection: One of the tremendous benefits of hiring a wedding planner is having assistance in choosing vendors that will help you pull off the your perfect day. It can bring a bride great comfort to know that the florist, the band and the caterer she chooses come highly recommended by the wedding planner she trusts. But it’s important to inquire as to how your wedding planner works with her preferred vendors.

Some planners have a specific list of vendors that you must choose from, others may instead have a group of vendors that you can evaluate. “I have found that for me, it works best to present at least three vendors that have been selected based upon the factors that are important to the bride, such as budget, style, importance,” says Katz.

© ibe Photography

“Just as your wedding planner should be a good match, so should the other professionals that you hire for your wedding day.”

Most importantly, know that a professional wedding planner can assist you at any time during your planning process. If you make a go at it alone and find yourself overwhelmed, it’s never to late too call in support. That’s what the professionals are for.

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Spectacular bridal guide 2011

A

Site

Choosing a place to hold your wedding reception is a lot like shopping for your first home. “You must fall in love with it and know that it’s where you want to celebrate part of your big day,” says Carla Towns of The Royal Banquet and Conference Center.

This makes sense. Trusting your gut feeling about the place where you’ll dance your first dance, eat your first meal as husband and wife and pass the hours with your closest friends and family is essential, as this day will be carved in your memory for all of time.

So if your gut feel is there, what should you do? Time is of the essence, as many smaller, intimate facilities fill up quickly.

Therefore, it’s best to move swiftly forward to determine if the place you think you want is the perfect venue for you. “A good first step is sitting down and reviewing all information,” recommends Sabrina Thompson of Bass Lake Park and Retreat Center.

“And if you are not sure about something, ask.”

It’s never too early to share your budget. Locations vary in whether or not they charge a flat fee or have additional surcharges, so it’s essential to have these conversations up front.

Ask about fees that may not be represented in the figure you are first shown such as cake slicing and clean up fees, as well as tax and gratuities. Knowing what to expect will allow you to eliminate any surprises later on.

It’s a good idea to discuss the small details that can be overlooked in the excitement to secure a location. Inquire as

Image taken at Bass Lake Park and Retreat Center.

to the times you’ll have access to your room, if linens are sup-

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weather plan. Additionally, most sites have a primary contact that will work with you or your wedding planner to coordinate all the details leading up to and on your wedding day. “This person will coordinate all aspects of the facility itself and trouble shoot if needed, “ says Towns. Find out if the site you like offers this valuable contact.

It’s likely the venue you choose for your reception will be able to refer you to a list of preferred vendors, helping you narrow down your choices.

© Crickett photography weddings

plied, how much decorating you may have to do and if there’s an inclement

bridal guide 2011

“If we recommend someone, it’s because we have had a good experience, and they have the benefit of being familiar with our facility,” says Towns.

“If you prefer to go with someone you find on your own, select carefully, ask for recommendations and references,” suggests Thompson. “It’s helpful to have a contract that spells out the details of your rental agreement.” You should also make sure that the vendors you hire are licensed and have insurance, as well as a health score if they are supplying food.

Whether you’re having heavy hors d’oeuvres, an extensive buffet or

Image taken at The Royal Banquet and Conference Center.

a sit down dinner, taking advantage of a menu tasting is a wonderful way to familiarize yourself with your options. “A caterer or restaurant should

minimum to be met, and if they’ll allow you to bring a cake in. “Other types

offer you a complimentary menu tasting,” says Eileen Johnson of Backyard

of venues, such as historic homes, may have specific requirements for your

Bistro. “Be sure to ask how the food will be presented, keeping in mind

caterer to follow, which can impact your menu, so be sure to inquire as to

that the menu tasting is usually for a small group.”

the particular considerations,” says Johnson.

When it comes to food, it’s important to understand your venue’s

Most importantly, while you are having these conversations, take note

guidelines. If you decide to hold your wedding or rehearsal dinner in a

of the customer service you are receiving. “If you don’t get good customer

restaurant, country club, or hotel, you’ll clearly be using on-site catering,

service when they’re trying to win your business, chances are that it won’t

so Johnson suggests inquiring about the capacity for the space, for both

get much better once they have your business,” reminds Towns.

a seated meal and for a cocktail reception, if there’s a food or beverage

But if it feels right, you know you’ve found your perfect place.

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bridal guide 2011

Guest Be Our

The date is circled on your calendar. Now it’s

Invitationbox.com

time to share the details by inviting your family and friends to your special day. If you’ve taken a peek in any stationery shop lately, you know there are many decisions to be made, as style, paper weight, colors and font all come into play when choosing the perfect invitation. So how do you begin? Three local experts shared their thoughts on getting started.

The Paper Company

Cute Buttons

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Consider the Feel of the Wedding: “Even if wedding colors or

bridal guide 2011

theme haven’t yet been decided, you can still convey the feeling of a formal or casual event,” says Lindsay Burns of The Paper Company.

If traditional is what you’re looking for, an ivory or white invitation will never go out of style. “It is the pure element of class and a timeless tradition,” says Amy Grace of the Invtiationbox.com. For a modern look, you may choose to incorporate a specific color, whether it’s through a motif, colored text or envelope liner. “Some of our most popular designs for 2011 are pockets and layered cards, shimmer card stocks, contemporary floral designs and ribbon accents,” says Grace.

What’s Your Personality: You’ve decided if you’re formal or casual. But now it’s time to consider yourself. Are you whimsical? Eclectic?

Urban chic? Maybe you’re a floral girl or a green guru? “It’s all about finding an invitation that fits your personality, one that allows your guests to see who you are and of course, one that you think is fabulous,” says Alison Kim Perry of Cute Buttons.

And what makes an invitation fabulous? It’s the combination of details, such as paper stock, finish and printing style, and how the design plays into those elements. Right now, monograms, images, watermarks and ribbons are in demand. “The best thing about getting married today is that there are no rules. The trend is to set your own trend, “ says Burns.

Set Your Budget: “As soon as you begin looking, set your budget, and share it with the professional you’re working with,” recommends Perry. “We can make it beautiful at any price point. The key is falling in love with what you can afford.” While the style you choose and the quantities you need will determine cost, consider your entire paper suite, such as your need for RSVP cards, place cards, menu cards, favor tags, and calligraphy services.

All the Details: While many brides have a website for event details, you many still want to convey this information through mailings that follow the invites. “Decide if you would like for these mailings to match your invitations. For instance, event parking or the availability of discounted accommodation rates are all very helpful to share,” says Burns.

Mail Call: You’ve set the date. Now it’s time to communicate. Our experts recommend: • Save the date cards mailed six months before; allow longer for a destination wedding.

• Wedding invitations mailed six to eight weeks before.

• Thank you notes mailed two weeks after. But “better late than never” applies, even if it’s been a few months.

Other Tips: To have your invites looking first class, no address labels allowed. Stick to handwritten. To ensure proper postage, weigh one invitation before you purchase your stamps. When it comes to thank you notes, it’s a personal decision whether or not you would like to match your invitations or instead, go with personalized stationery that you can continue to use. Remember, a handwritten note is always best.

“Getting started is as easy as talking with your wedding specialist or stationery store associate. Together you should be able to find the perfect wedding invitation ensemble,” says Grace.

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© Crickett photography weddings

bridal guide 2011

Impress

Image taken at The Royal Banquet and Conference Center.

The Dress to

It may begin with the ring, but ultimately, the focus shifts to the

you shop, keep an open mind. While you’re sure to try on all those

dress, as all eyes will be upon you as you walk down the aisle. This

fabulous dresses you were immediately drawn, trust the shop’s ex-

is where the fun begins, as you search for that one perfect dress

pertise and give something different a try. Just like shopping for

you can’t wait to be married in.

everyday clothing, you may be surprised how wonderful a dress

It’s best to begin your shopping early. Your gown may need

can look when it’s off the hanger and on your body!

to be ordered and most certainly will require alterations. “Most

So what’s popular now? While strapless gowns continue to

brides shop for their wedding gown at least nine to twelve months

be a favorite, Pogue is seeing interest in modified A-line skirts

prior to the wedding date,” says Liz Pogue of Gorgeous Gowns

that are slim through the waist and flared at the bottom, off-the-

and Wedding Dresses. But before you venture out, it’s helpful to

shoulder dresses and all over lace gowns. When it comes to acces-

think about what you want. Pogue suggests considering your bud-

sories, many brides choose to wear a brooch that belonged to a

get and any details that are essential to you, such as a full skirt or a

grandmother or other beloved family member and birdcage veils,

mermaid fit. Looking through bridal magazines can be extremely

worn with a floral and feather comb, are also in style.

valuable, as you’ll find a tremendous selection of styles and designers and be able to narrow your focus.

As for your bridesmaids, the trend is to choose a bridesmaid line that offer different style dresses in the same fabric and color.

While it’s admirable to want to share this special shopping

“This allows each bridesmaid to choose a style that looks best on

moment with those that you’re close to, Pogue recommends ven-

their body type, but still have a wedding party with a unified look,”

turing out with no more than one or two trusted friends. “You need

says Pogue. And trust us, not only will your bridesmaids thank you

to be able to listen to your own instincts. It’s easier to hear what

for being so thoughtful but they’ll feel good as they surround you,

your heart says if you don’t have a crowd with you,” she says. As

dressed in your own stunning gown.

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Brides Against Breast Cancer™

bridal guide 2011

Imagine walking into a hotel ballroom filled with beautiful designer and couture wedding gowns. And then, imagine that those gorgeous gowns are available for your purchase at an incredible 25% to 75% savings.

Does it seem too good to be true?

Well, pinch yourself, because you’re not dreaming. The Brides Against Breast Cancer™ Nationwide Tour of Gowns is making its way to Raleigh. This important national fundraiser for the Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation, whose mission is to grant wishes for metastatic breast cancer patients, is visiting the area for the third year.

“Many brides-to-be are shocked at the expense of a wedding. This is not only a way to save money, but to contribute to a worthwhile cause,” says Catherine Katz of Cherished Celebrations™, who organizes the annual event with Thomasina Whitley of Bowties and Lace and the Association of Bridal Consultants North Carolina Chapter.

This unique opportunity allows brides-to-be the chance to find their perfect wedding gown at a remarkable price. And while Brides Against Breast Cancer™ accepts high quality, gently used wedding gowns from generous donors, half the inventory presented consists of new designer gowns that arrive directly from designers, manufacturers and bridal retailers nationwide.

“Brides are so thankful for the opportunity to give back, and many of them have personal stories of how breast cancer has touched their lives. We’ve had brides come who have recently completed their treatments for breast cancer, wanting to help those who haven’t survived,” says Katz.

And for the woman searching for the gown to wear on her special day? “There’s nothing like the look a bride’s face when she tries on a gown and she knows that it’s hers,” says Katz.

The details Dates: February 25-27 Time: Friday 6-9pm, Saturday 10am-6pm, Sunday 10am-5pm Where: Sheraton Raleigh Hotel Fee: $30 Friday VIP Night; Saturday & Sunday FREE Brides Against Breast Cancer™ is in need of contemporary gown styles, slips and veils dating from 2005 until the present. If you are interested in making a donation or volunteering, please contact Catherine Katz at 919-606-7047.

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Giving bridal guide 2011

1

Gifts Worth

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It may be a party favor for your wedding guests or a thank you for your bridesmaids. It could be a gift for the bride or a little something for the groom. No matter the recipient, we’ve got the gifts you want to be giving.

4 6

8 7

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bridal guide 2011

1 GoUrMet chocolates & handMade trUffles: Are you tying the knot at the coast? Did your proposal come in front of the Eiffel tower? Did you meet at a Tar Heel football game? Add the ultimate personal touch with a gift of gourmet chocolate, custom molded to reflect your wedding. If you’re looking for a sweet treat

2

to leave for your out-of-town guests, consider handmade truffles.

Chocolate Smiles | www.chocolatesmiles.com

2 reciPe BoX: The easiest way to make sure a new bride uses all of those pots and pans? Give the gift of delicious by starting a recipe box. Write your own recipes down, place them in the box and give as a gift. A great bridal shower activity!

The Sassy Blossom | www.sassyblossom.com

3 enGraVed GlassWare: A gift that even the groom will appreciate. There’s nothing more inviting than drinking your

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beverages out of engraved glassware. The perfect addition to any kitchen. Swagger Gifts | www.swaggergifts.com

4 oUr WeddinG daY fraMe: No newly formed household is complete without the standard newlywed picture on display.

This adorable frame is a perfect way to highlight and remember a special wedding day. The Sassy Blossom | www.sassyblossom.com

5 BeatriZ Ball fine MetalWare: For the bride who wants functionality with beauty, Beatriz Ball can’t be beat. With a reputation for luxurious handmade pieces that can go in the oven or freezer, brides long for these classic serving pieces that will have company buzzing. Blue Tiger | www.bluetigergifts.com

6 sUGar centerPieces: Thinking about an original way to add a decorating touch to your table? Consider a colorful and original sugar centerpiece as a way to show off your unique style. KP Kandies | www.kpkandies.vpweb.com

7 caKe PoPs: An original way to show your guests you’re sweet on them. The ideal treat for a wedding favor or bridal shower, there’s nothing better than sending your guests on their way with a delicious, beautiful treat to enjoy while reflecting on the fabulous time they had. A Cupcake Diva | www.acupcaksediva.com

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8 GrahaM cracKer delites: What could be better than a graham cracker dipped in rich milk chocolate, toasted pecans and a rice crispy mixture? A treat guaranteed to make your guests swoon. Available by the dozen. KP Kandies | www.kpkandies.vpweb.com

9 MonoGraMMed hanGinG BaG: The perfect blend of stylish and practical make this piece of luggage most desirable.

Ideal for both a weekend away or an overnight stay, this monogrammed bag has a feminine touch that can’t be beat.

Available in pink, green, black and brown. Swagger Gifts | www.swaggergifts.com

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bridal guide 2011

Petals Pretty

Photography by Jennifer Robertson Photography

From your bridal bouquet to your flower girl’s basket, from the

church altar to the ballroom, and from the centerpieces to the chandeliers, flowers will be one of the most important and visible elements of your wedding day. “They set the mood and tone for

the event and will be remembered for years to come,” says Cydney Davis-English of The English Garden.

Being that flowers have such a prominent role, it makes sense

to give a lot of thought to what you like. While peonies, hydrangeas, lily of the valley and roses are consistently popular choices, be creative. Find inspiration from the colors you’re naturally fond of, pictures from magazines and even the style of your wedding dress.

“To help in your decision, bring a photo of your dress, a sample

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bridal guide 2011

of the fabric or lace and even swatches and photos of the bridesmaids’ dresses,” suggests Davis-English. This will help make sure that all the floral elements tie together.

When you first begin working with your florist, she’ll discuss your budget and tastes simultaneously. “By taking your budget into consideration from the very beginning of the planning process, we can give you the best advice on placement and what types of flowers will be the best value to achieve your desired look,” says Davis-English. If your budget is tight, don’t worry. Flowers are the ideal multitasker and can serve double duty. Bridesmaids’ bouquets can become table decorations; the bride’s bouquet can become the head table arrangement; the pew markers can become festive bows on doors.

And don’t be surprised if your florist is interested in meeting you at your location. “We are always happy to visit the actual wedding site, so we can see for ourselves the environment that our flowers will be seen in,” says Davis-English. For a good florist understands the value that flowers will bring to your wedding day and will strive to find the perfect petals to make your vision come true.

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experts

w e ddi ng

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