Dear Teacher: Real Questions from Real Educators

QueSTIon: My parents never reminded me to do schoolwork. I somehow had a built-in desire to handle it myself. How can I get my children to have the same attitude? – Lacking Responsibility

AnSwer: It is not just schoolwork that your children need to be responsible for as they grow up. It is a lot of other things from making their beds and cleaning their rooms to putting dirty dishes in the sink and dishwasher. So, what you have to do is to teach them to be responsible people from early childhood, and it will extend over to handling their schoolwork with some special help from you.

Taking responsibility is an action that brings pride to children as they are doing things by themselves and not having their parents do things for them. It starts when parents invite their children to help with indoor or outdoor chores. You begin by showing them how to handle a small task such as matching pairs of socks. And then give them this responsibility. It is always important to choose responsibilities that are age-appropriate and to praise them for doing these chores. You certainly do not need to reward children for being responsible for everyday chores. Save rewards for doing things that go far beyond ordinary responsibilities.

One thing that parents often forget to give children is the responsibility of monitoring their work. By this, we mean looking at tests, homework and assignments and seeing what they have done right or wrong. When they have been successful, they need to think about why this happened so it can be repeated. Parents can foster this responsibility by giving their approval for a job well done.

On the other hand, when students do poorly, they need to evaluate why it happened. Did they work too fast? Did they fail to get needed help?

Finally, handling homework successfully depends a lot on having strategies to handle it effectively. This involves parental involvement in helping children learn which assignment they should handle first (easiest or most difficult) and what to do when they run into work that they can’t do. The answer is usually to study examples of similar work that they have done at school.

Handling homework responsibly makes children feel both capable and confident.

QueSTIon: My son who is 11 will be going into middle school in the fall. He is begging for a cell phone as most of his friends seem to have one. He is allowed to have a phone at his new school. If we decide to get him a cell phone, what rules should we set? – No Cell Phone Fan

AnSwer: First of all, the decision to get your child a cell phone is yours – not your son’s. Base your decision on how mature and responsible your child is. Ask yourself if he is likely to abide by your and the school’s limit to his usage. And consider if he usually keeps track of his possessions. Then before you ever get him a phone, work with him to devise rules about when and where he will use the phone.

If you go online, you will find a number of websites that offer parent/child contracts on phone usage. You might want to adapt and use one of them. You also need to discuss cell phone etiquette, cyberbullying and internet usage. At his age, you will want to know the passwords for any social media accounts he will have. And you should be the one who determines what new apps you will purchase for him. Plus, you definitely need to discuss how many text messages and minutes you are giving him as well as what will happen if he runs over.

QueSTIon: How can I keep learning alive for two fairly good students in the summer? I don’t want them to lose basic skills. – Building Skills

AnSwer: Most parents realize that the secret to continued academic success for their children is to keep them reading during the summer. If you are running short of ideas, go online to readwritethink.org and search for summer reading. Here you’ll find activities to help children from ages 4 to 18 explore reading and writing all summer long.

And don’t forget to bolster your children’s math skills. Most lose more ground in math than reading. Try to play games with them that require math. If your children like to use the computer, have them search online for “summer math activities.” For lots of fun with math, have them work with “Learning Activities -Math” on our Dear Teacher website.

Beyond bolstering their basic skills, remember that summer is a wonderful time to help your children expand their horizons. Depending upon the social distance requirements from covid-19, they could try new sports. They also could take art or music lessons. Many would probably enjoy throwing clay on a pottery wheel and then painting the unique creation. Start researching now for what safe opportunities are available in your community.

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