The Miami Hurricane: October 17, 2017

Vol. 96, Issue 5 | October 17- 23, 2017

BEAMING WITH PRIDE UM’s LGBTQ+ Mentorship Program pairs students with campus mentors to facilitate academic, professional development NEWS // Page 4 SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD: SpectrUM members freshman Sebastian Needham and sophomore Emma Lam pose in front of the U state with a pride flag during an event that was part of Coming Out Week. The week of events lasts until Oct. 20.

Hunter Crenian// Visuals Editor

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

NATIONAL

Former Scouts see new gender-inclusive policies as step forward

By Amanda Herrera News Editor news@themiamihurricane.com @_amandaherrera

For Mary Balise, a senior from northern California, becoming a member of the Girl Scouts of America was a given. Balise, a double major in studio art and psychology said the Girl Scouts were “very popular” when she was a child and so she joined when she was 4 or 5 years old. Now, girls like Balise will be allowed to join the Boy Scouts of America.

On Oct. 11, the Boy Scouts of America announced its decision to allow girls into its organization beginning in 2018. Traditionally, Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts organizations were kept separate.

Balise attributes her success as a student leader at UM to the organization, but she said she is still unsure about what she thinks of the decision. As president of SpectrUM, the university’s LGBTQ student organization, Balise says she is a proponent for inclusivity, but she is worried about the motives behind

the decision. She said she read an op-ed recently that argued the Boy Scouts were “just trying to fix their image.”

“Of course I think that it’s great that girls will be able to participate and that it’ll be less gender segregated, but I also just worry about why they are doing it,” Balise said.

The decision to allow girls into the Boy Scouts is just one of the many steps the organization has taken to increase inclusivity after decades of policies that discriminated against members of the LGBTQ community.

In 2013, the program began accepting Scouts who identified as gay, reversing a policy that banned them from participating. Most recently, in 2017, the organization allowed a transgender boy to become a member after changing transgender policies.

Balise ended her time with the Girl Scouts organization after being ranked as a Girl Scout Junior and receiving the Bronze Award – the highest honor a Junior can achieve. She said she has heard many people praise the fact that girls will now be allowed to learn and earn awards, such as the Eagle Scout Award,

the highest honor a Boy Scout can receive.

However, Balise said this undermines the Girl Scouts organization, which recognizes girls with an award that takes more work than the boy equivalent.

“My response to this is, ‘Well, people have been able to earn the Gold Award for years now, which is harder to earn than the Eagle Scout,” Balise said. “So, I do worry about the perception.”

The Girl Scouts of America released a statement in response to the decision that said a “single-gender environment has been well-documented by educators, scholars, other girl and youth serving organizations, and Girl Scouts and their families.”

The Boy Scouts of America has provided many men, including current UM students, with the opportunity to put the leadership skills they learned as children into action as adults.

Aaron Gluck, a senior majoring in political science, said he became very interested in the organization and was immediately hooked after joining in first grade.

Now, Gluck is an assistant scout master

who helps his troop with their Eagle projects and provides mentorship. Gluck, who has received an Eagle Scout honor, said he has been hearing murmurs about allowing girls into the organization for years. Though he was hesitant at first, he said the programs offered by the organization are of value to all children, regardless of gender.

“Adding girls will sufficiently help improve them,” he said. “What we represent is providing service and teaching young people character development and leadership skills, which is good for everyone.”

Gluck said since programs for the older members of the Boy Scouts, such as venturing and exploring, are co-ed, most of the dynamic has already been worked out on a national scale. He said most members are receptive to the idea of welcoming girls into their troops.

“The change is good,” he said. “As the young and the next generation, we really have to work to implement this change and make this the best organization we can.”

ENVIRONMENT

Crocodile spottings lead to start of campus education initiative

By Isabella Cueto Editor-in-Chief editor@themiamihurricane.com @isabellacueto

On Aug. 31, students whipped out cellphones after spotting it along the edge of Lake Osceola. Then it was spotted by the UM School of Business. A four-foot-long American crocodile has been lingering in the waterways throughout the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus for months.

But when Senior Facilities Manager Son Vo brought in a crocodile response agent from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, the consensus was that no one need be alarmed.

“These guys are pretty mellow,” FWC Agent Mark Parry said during a Sept. 27 visit to campus.

Parry had been riding around campus in a golf cart with Vo, unsuccessfully trying to find the infamous crocodile.

But Parry hadn’t come to catch the croc and remove it – he was there to start a program with Vo to educate students on how to live with crocodiles – a Floridian reality.

With Lake Osceola spraying water in the

middle of an obviously man-made campus, students can forget that any body of water in Florida can be home to a crocodile or an alligator, Parry said.

“Be pleasantly surprised if there isn’t one,” Parry said.

For a crocodile, a top predator in its environment, being unafraid around humans is a natural behavior. The real issue arises when humans start interacting with crocodiles by feeding them or trying to catch them.

Parry said that’s when a crocodile’s behavior changes and it can become a threat to humans and other animals. But incidents involving crocodiles are rare, especially with what Parry called the calm American crocodile.

Until about a decade ago, crocodiles were barely visible for Floridians because they were on the national endangered species list.

In the 1970s, there were an estimated 200 to 300 crocodiles in the wild, Parry said. Now, there are a reported 2,000 to 3,000, thanks to federal and state conservation efforts.

Because of this conservation program, crocodile experts are sent in to assess situations and try behavioral modifications – Parry said the animals are “smart” and will change their behaviors – and if that fails, translocation to a

Tommy Fletcher // Multimedia Editor REPTILIAN SIGHTING: The four-foot-long crocodile on UM’s Coral Gables campus lingers in the waters of Lake Osceola after catching its prey. The university brought in an expert from the to assess the situation and educate the campus on living with crocodiles.

nearby body of water and, in the worst-case scenario, move the crocodile a few miles away.

There is so much misinformation about wildlife and how humans should interact with it that education is a top priority, Parry said.

Vo will be tabling on the Coral Gables campus

in the coming months, passing out guides to living with crocodiles and answering questions about the one on campus.

To report nuisance crocodiles, call the state hotline at 1-866-392-4286.

October 17 - October 23, 2017

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

COVER

Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor RAINBOW BRIGHT: BRIGHT: Emma Lam and Sebastian Needham pose in front of the U statue for Coming Out Week. SpectrUM, the university’s largest LGBTQ organization, invited members of the campus community to fly the flags they identify with.

LGBTQ-ally program creates mentorship opportunities for community

By Elina Katrin Staff Writer

Former UM student Jacob Rudolph said being matched with someone who understood what he was going through was one of the best experiences of his college career. Without UM’s LGBTQ+ Mentorship Program, he would not have had that opportunity.

The mentorship program pairs students with a mentor on UM’s faculty or staff. Rudolph, who graduated in May 2017, said he formed a life-long friendship with Meredith Camel, executive director of UM Communications.

“It was just really nice to have someone who has been through so many of the challenges that LGBTQ people face in their lives to just be able to talk it out one-on-one and not feel worried about being judged whenever I wanted emotional

support,” Rudolph said.

Along with offering personal, professional and academic support to UM students, mentors are in charge of directing mentees to campus and community LGBTQ resources and increasing mentorship capacity for LGBTQ-identified students.

For students in the LGBTQ community, such as Emma Lam, the program provides an opportunity to get in touch with campus resources. Lam, a sophomore and secretary of SpectrUM – UM’s largest LGBTQ student organization – said the main focus of the program is for students to foster a relationship with their mentors that will facilitate academic and professional development according to their personal needs and goals.

“Students will have the opportunity to learn from the guidance of experienced university employees,” she said.

Anthony Sis, assistant director of UM’s LGBTQ Student Center, said the

mentorship program’s application has undergone a few changes this year. Instead of mentees choosing their mentors after a social at the start of the academic school year, the pairs will be selected in advance.

Sis said more questions have been added to both mentee and mentor applications to select the best pairings based on personal and academic interests.

The main goal of this program is to connect students with faculty and staff members at UM, who are either members or allies of the LGBTQ community, Sis said. Mentors are meant to provide support through individualized engagement.

“College is a crucial time where gender identity and sexual orientation develops through many different experiences,” Sis said. “The mentorship program is meant to guide students during this time period with an academic and social support lens.”

The program, was originally created

by LGBTQ-identified members in the Butler Center prior to the LGBTQ Student

Center’s opening in August 2016.

Typically, between 10 to 15 mentees and mentors apply. The only requirement to become a mentor is to be a faculty or staff member with a strong desire to empower and support LGBTQ students and allies.

There are no specific requirements to become a mentee, and any undergraduate UM student can apply.

Mentors and mentees must fill out the Mentor Application Form and Mentee Interest Form, respectively. Both forms can be found on OrgSync.

Rudolph said he encourages students to apply because the program matched him with “one of the top three people” he met at UM. “There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain,” Rudolph said.

To learn more about the LGBTQ+ mentorship program, visit lgbtq. studentaffairs.miami.edu.

October 17 - October 23, 2017

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

NEWS

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RELIGION

Students renew Catholic faith amid challenges faced during college

By Kayla Haley Senior News Writer

College is a time of discovery and change. Through classes and student organizations, students learn more about the world, themselves and, ultimately, pick and choose the parts they carry through their lives.

According to the University of Miami 2016-2017 Fact Book, around 2,000 of the 10,800 undergraduate students at UM identify as part of a particular religion. Of those 2,000 students, 41 percent identify as Catholic.

Senior Christina Gutierrez said she knows the importance of her Catholic faith well and recalled the story of her transformation with tears of joy in her eyes.

“I like to call it a homecoming story,” Gutierrez said.

Gutierrez, a business management major, said she is a “cradle Catholic,” someone born and raised in the faith. But her faith was tested when her parents separated and she and her mother struggled with finances.

She said she remembers being confused and feeling lost. By the time she arrived at the University of Miami, she had turned away

from the Catholic Church.

“Everything was about trying to find satisfaction and trying to find a home,” Gutierrez said. “And when all else failed, I just drank.”

After breaking up with her boyfriend, wrestling with health problems and fighting to raise her grades, she hit her “rock-bottom” in November 2016.

Her lowest point led her back to the Church and on a mission trip to Haiti.

Gutierrez said she recalls God speaking to her on the trip and she resolved to recommit her life to God, which included becoming vice president of the Catholic Campus Ministry.

“It’s crazy that it was only a year ago,” she said. “A year ago I was getting ready for the worst semester of my life.”

Since recommitting to her faith, Gutierrez said she has more joy and freedom in her life.

“It’s not just going to church on Sunday,” she said. “It becomes a part of everything you do when you fall in love with God. You see him everywhere and in everything.”

Father Phillip Tran, UM’s first full-time Catholic priest, said about 500 students attend services on the weekends. However, he said

these numbers should be much higher given the percentage of the university’s population that identifies as Catholic.

Tran said one of the biggest hurdles for anyone, specifically college students, is the search for meaning. He said 80 percent of people who were raised in church stop attending by age 23, but he believes spiritual health is central to finding purpose.

According to the UM 2016-2017 Fact Book, the number of students who identify as Catholic has dropped 51 percent from 2012 to 2016.

“If people could just see God differently or the Catholic Church a little bit differently,” Tran said. “It can be really fun in a much deeper way than getting wasted and waking up with a huge migraine.”

Junior Adam Wahl can be found sitting in mass every Sunday. He is the current president of Catholic Campus Ministry, but there was a time when he questioned God’s existence.

“When someone would say, ‘What is your religion?’ I would say, ‘I am Catholic but not practicing,’” Wahl said.

Wahl said he grew up in a family that identified as Catholic but they weren’t really

faithful.

As a neuroscience major, Wahl was also consumed by the desire for perfection in his work. He said he remembers aligning his identity with his GPA. However, he found himself changed after going to a Catholic retreat.

On the trip, he was told he was a beloved son of God, and it stuck with him – he had never considered himself loved by God that way. He said he discovered meaning in life and saw the beauty of God in the world around him.

While he still works to get the best grades he can, his faith is number one. Wahl said he’ll still fight for his grades but knows that no matter what happens, everything will be okay.

“As much as He [God] wants me to be the best I can be, He does not want me to be envious, competitive or think I need all these things to feel fulfilled,” Wahl said. “I just need love. I never thought coming here my faith would be changed in such a big way, but it was – and the school’s not even a Catholic school.”

Both Wahl and Gutierrez are considering careers in Catholic ministry after graduation.

NEWS BRIEFS HealthyCampus Week When: Until Oct. 20 Where: Wellness Center The Herbert and Patti Wellness Center is collaborating with the Partnership for a Healthier America Healthier Campus Initiative to promote health and well-being among college students on campus and end childhood obesity.

The week will be full of fitness events including complimentary yoga classes.

A list of the week’s full schedule is available online at the Herbert and Patti Wellness Center website.

Battle for the Bucket Blood Drive When: Until Oct. 18 Where: SCC 3rd floor ballrooms, 12 to 9 p.m.

Miller Drive, by Law School, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

The Rock Plaza, 3:30 to 7 p.m.

After Miami beat Florida State University 24 to 20 in football, FunDay is asking students to come and help beat FSU at the Battle for the Bucket Blood Drive. The annual event puts UM and FSU against one another to see who can donate the most blood.

Last year, UM beat FSU and FunDay hopes to make it two years in a row. The event is sponsored

by OneBlood, a non-profit organization that collects blood for 200 hospitals, according to its Facebook.

Free food and T-shirts will be available to all students who donate blood. Walk-ins are welcome but students can also register at OrgSync.

Coming Out Week When: Until Oct. 20 Where:Around campus SpectrUM will be hosting Coming Out Week, five days of events marking a celebration of the LGBTQ community.

There will be a candlelight vigil at the Physic’s Quad The event at 8 p.m on Oct. 17, remembering those who took their own lives.Students are invited to attend events throughout the week and share their personal experiences.

A full list of this week’s events can be found on SpectrUM’s Facebook page.

To find out more, go to themiamihurricane.com.

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NEWS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

ADMINISTRATION

New Provost Jeffrey Duerk enjoys first turbulent months on the job

By Amanda Herrera News Editor news@themiamihurricane.com @_amandaherrera

He’s been here for less than a semester and has already had to make decisions many executive vice presidents and provosts of universities across the nation rarely face. But Jeffrey Duerk, the University of Miami’s new executive vice president and provost, isn’t fazed. Duerk said his first few months in the position are even better than he imagined.

Within the first few weeks of his tenure, Duerk and his colleagues faced one of the biggest storms recorded to hit South Florida, Hurricane Irma. He said even before he arrived at UM, he had thought about the possibility of dealing with a hurricane, something he had never faced before. However, he said he knew he, along with President Julio Frenk and other administrative staff, had to be decisive.

“We knew that communication was going to be the most important,” Duerk said. “We knew we had to be decisive.

Once a decision is made, you can’t second guess it.”

Even though he would describe the beginning of his tenure as a “fast-paced roller coaster ride,” Duerk said he is most impressed by the students.

“I only knew you from statistics,” Duerk said. “Average ACT score.

Percentage of students who speak more than one language. That’s just statistics.

That’s different than knowing the students.”

Duerk succeeded former provost Thomas LeBlanc, who left UM this past summer to become president of George Washington University.

Duerk was contacted by the university as part of the provost search process in late February. Duerk said he missed the initial email that was sent to him from the university because his father had just died and his brother had had a stroke a few days later.

However, about a month later, after sending his resumé and other supplemental materials, Duerk visited the university for the first time. He said he was surprised the first person he met before his interview was his future boss – President Julio Frenk.

“We sat outside of the interview room

Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor TALKING FRANKLY : The University of Miami’s executive vice-president and provost, Jeffery Duerk, answers questions from a select group of students on Wednesday Oct. 11 in the SAC reflecting on the first couple months of his tenure and what he hopes to accomplish in the coming year. Duerk was previously the dean and Leonard Case Professor of the School of Engineering at Case Western Reserve University before beginning his career at the University of Miami in late-July.

and just had a chat ... What really struck me about that was the personal chemistry as well as vision between president and provost is really, really important,” Duerk said. “You have to make sure you share the same vision of where the university is going to go.”

Duerk and Frenk did.

After a second round of interviews during commencement week of the spring 2017 semester, Duerk received a phone call from Frenk offering him the position.

From his initial interview to the moment of the offer, it had been one month. Many searches can last up to a year.

In a letter to the UM community, Frenk described Duerk as an “accomplished engineer and scientist, as well as a respected academic with deep appreciation for the social sciences, the arts and the humanities.”

Dr. Eduardo Alfonso, director of the

Bascom Palmer Eye Institute, chaired the 16-member search committee that recommended Duerk as one of the finalists.

“The quality of the candidates was exceptional, and Jeffrey Duerk stood out to the committee as having all the qualifications considered important for the position of the executive vice president and provost,” Alfonso said in a news release. “He’s a noted collaborator, a global thinker and someone with a track record of accomplishments.”

Now, Duerk walks the same halls as his predecessor with a new vision for the university.

“Just a few months later, it’s hard to imagine more can happen in somebody’s life in a shorter period of time because I gave up a position at a university I was at for 30 years,” Duerk said.

Duerk joined Case Western’s faculty

in 1988, where he served as the chair of the departments of radiology and biomedical engineering as well as the founding director of the Case Center for Imagining Research.

In 2012, Duerk was appointed the dean of the Case School of Engineering.

At UM, Duerk’s future plans include the creation of a “think tank” on undergraduate retention. He said he wants to collect data on retention rates, then create thinking exercises and a task force to produce results on improving the rates.

He said he is “starting to get things in place that we will solve between now and May 30,” so the university can “start the next academic year with a little bit of new direction.”

October 17 - October 23, 2017

The Miami

HURRICANE Founded 1929 An Associated Collegiate Press Hall of Fame Newspaper NEWSROOM: 305-284-4401 editor@themiamihurricane.com BUSINESS OFFICE: 305-284-4401 FAX: 305-284-4404

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FACULTY ADVISER Tsitsi Wakhisi

EDITORIAL

Prioritize health through hectic semester This semester has felt like a punch to the gut in a lot of ways. Hoards of burnt-out students are crowding the library madly trying to study what they may have learned weeks ago, before the hurricane. Student organizations are scrambling to f igure out how to engage members when everyone starts to focus more on their classes and regain membership lost in the almost three weeks away from campus. The semester teeters between feeling like it’s almost over, and feeling endless (because it doesn’t end until Dec. 20).

FINANCIAL ADVISER Steve Priepke

DESIGNERS Beverly Chesser Caitlin Costa Lauren Flaumenhaft Claire Geho To reach a member of the staff visit themiamihurricane.com’s contact page.

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The publication does not necessarily represent the views and opinions of advertisers or the university’s trustees, faculty or administration. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of The Miami Hurricane’s Editorial Board. Commentaries, letters and cartoons represent only the views of their respective authors.

The newsroom and business office of The Miami Hurricane are located in the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200.

LETTER POLICY The Miami Hurricane encourages all readers to voice their opinions on issues related to the university or in response to any report published in The Miami Hurricane. Letters to the editor may be submitted typed or handwritten to the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200, or mailed to P.O. Box 248132, Coral Gables, Fla., 33124-6922. Letters must be signed with a copy of your Cane Card.

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OPINION

Opinion

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Isabella Cueto

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

Take a deep breath.

Being a college student can be pretty overwhelming. Especially if you’re an engaged college student, which if you’re reading the campus newspaper editorials, you probably are.

The professionals reading this might be laughing at us complaining about our “responsibilities,” but they truly can pile up much more than even working professionals. Most of us have full-time class schedules. Many of us work part-time jobs, multiple part-time jobs and even f ull time. Others have many extracurriculars involvements and leadership positions. Balancing all of that with the expectation of a f ull social schedule, eating, sleeping and other general health needs – it’s not laughable.

It’s the Wellness Center’s Healthy Campus Week, and although you’ve probably heard it before, you deserve a reminder to prioritize your health – both mental and physical. Despite responsibilities that may seem more

important, there’s no way you can take care of business unless you’re taking care of yourself.

Schedule, schedule, schedule.

area like academics or work. If you’re healthy and there’s not a true tragedy in that area, you’re going to be f ine. It’s OK to prioritize, say no to doing things that are not pressing. It’s also OK to bail on plans.

Be with your people.

Break everything down into 24 hours at a time. If you think about the week as whole, it can be overwhelming and impossible to multitask. Just think about what you need to get done today.

Lists are lifesavers. Then, all you have to do is get through the day. Schedule meals and f ull nights of sleep. Those hours are not wasted because your productivity (and sanity) when you’re f ull and well-rested will skyrocket.

And please, enough with the I-sleptless-than-you, I’m-more-stressed-thanyou contests.

Legitimately make time each day to do something stress relieving.

Thirty minutes watching your favorite tv show or spent out on a walk will not make or break your schedule, but it will make you happy, and you’ll savor those moments more.

Feel free to say no.

It’s okay to say no; you don’t need to please everyone. You’re not a failure if you let someone down, and you’ll usually be surprised by how understanding people can be – even professors, because they’re people too.

Don’t be afraid to fall short in one

Call your parents or other loved ones and vent, even if they’ll be worried about you, it will make you feel better.

Surround yourself with people who calm you rather than aggravate your stress. Do nice things for friends, like bringing them snacks, and thanking your friends when you receive such snacks. If you have some spare change one day, take a colada to class and pass around tiny cups of Cuban coffee – it’s the guaranteed fastest way to make friends.

If all else fails, make an appointment at the counseling center.

There’s no reason to be embarrassed or afraid to go. They can help, and with all kinds of issues, even things that may feel insignif icant like time management.

And most importantly: don’t stress out about being stressed. It’s completely normal, and even if you don’t or can’t end up doing any of these things, you’re still going to be OK. For more information on how to book an appointment at the counseling center, visit counseling.studentaffairs. miami.edu/appointments or call 305284-5511. The after-hours counseling center hotline (nights and weekends) can be reached at the same number.

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OPINION

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

SATIRE

Szechuan sauce shortage shows why America needs “Rick and Morty” It’s time to face the truth, America: we’re stupid. For a nation that prides itself on being an international power, our intelligence has lagged far behind.

By Jason Donnelly The United States Contributing Opinion lags in science, Writer math and IQ scores.

Of course, those statistics aren’t necessary to see that our country has become a cesspool of idiocy. America proved itself to be incompetent enough when McDonald’s locations across the nation experienced severe shortages of the highly-touted Szechuan sauce, which first appeared in 1998 to promote Disney’s feature film “Mulan” but was later removed.

The limited-edition condiment, popularized by the comedy/sci-fi animated series “Rick and Morty,” returned to U.S. restaurants for a single day, Oct. 7. The sauce was met with excitement and, when it ran out, chaos.

The situation got so bad that in some locations, such as at a McDonald’s in Wellington, Florida, police had to be called to scatter angry customers.

How could this happen? Some claim it was a logistical error or miscalculation.

Others blame corporate powers at the fastfood giant for failing to anticipate such a wild response.

But how can we fix the naiveté that led to these situations? The answer lies not in our educational system but in the TV masterpiece that is “Rick and Morty.”

Any user of the almighty internet can tell you that “Rick and Morty” viewers are more likely to have higher IQs. This can be attributed to the show’s extremely subtle

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humor, as well as its constant references to theoretical physics, nihilistic philosophies and popular culture.

But what if watching the show actually made viewers brighter? To test this theory, I decided to take a standardized exam, binge all three seasons of the show, then take a similar test afterward.

Before “Rick and Morty,” I was unable to solve even the most basic of algebraic equations. After binge-watching, I could do integral calculus in my head, transcribe entire symphonies after one listen and recite the entire screenplay of “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo” in 23 minutes flat.

After completing this experiment, I have concluded that “Rick and Morty” makes viewers smarter. Trust me, now that I’m a super genius, I have a very deep understanding of the scientific method.

Imagine if the employees at your local McDonald’s had done the same thing.

There would be no shortage of Szechuan

sauce. There would be portals sending that sweet Szechuan sauce from the factory directly onto your 20-piece McNuggets.

There would be crowds of like-minded individuals waiting to respond to your shouts of “Pickle Rick!” with cheers of companionship.

But how can we spread the good news of “Rick and Morty?” We could make it government-mandated viewing, but, instead, I propose what the geniuses of the world do best – spam Reddit and social media until the sheeple occupying most of the country can no longer ignore it.

Wake up, America. If you’re not a Rick yet, you’re going to be one soon, whether you like it or not.

Jason Donnelly is a freshman majoring in instrumental performance.

October 17 - October 23, 2017

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

OPINION

ENVIRONMENT

EPA rollback on Clean Power Plan a foolish decision Massive wildfires recently left at least 40 people dead in California.

Thousands of Adélie p e n g u i n

By Kay-Ann Henry chicks starved Contributing Opinion to death in Writer Antarctica in 2016, the hottest year on record, according to the World Wildlife Fund.

What’s at the root of each of these events? Climate change. Who’s causing climate change? Us. Coal-fired power plants emit nearly 40 percent of the United States’ carbon dioxide emissions. Carbon pollution comes with other pollutants that can seriously harm our health also, a sentiment echoed by public health officials and environmental activists.

Miami is one of many cities that could be devastated by climate change. If the global warming rates increase, sea levels will rise and our city will be under water. There will be coastal flooding, water shortages and, ultimately, the displacement of 2.5 million Miamians.

Efforts have been made to repair the damage. Research has shown that using clean, renewable energy can help. Avoiding emitting carbon into the air can help. America took steps in the right direction with the Paris Climate Agreement and Clean Power Plan, both of which aimed to reduce greenhouse gases.

Even though it never went into full effect, the Clean Power Plan was an opportunity to reduce carbon pollution from power plants. But now this opportunity is in danger. Our president has called climate change a “hoax” and vowed to pull out of the Paris Climate Agreement.

Earlier this week, Scott Pruitt, administrator of the Environmental

Protection Agency, announced his decision to make cutbacks on some of the carbon emission rules Barack Obama made during his tenure. One of these cutbacks, which can have devastating effects, is eliminating the Clean Power Plan, whose objective was to push states to move away from coal in favor of sources of electricity that produce fewer carbon emissions.

This shouldn’t be a political issue, but it is. Donald Trump and Scott Pruitt are waging war on our climate. In a time where the effects of climate change are too real to deny, their efforts to inhibit the transition to cleaner power sources are foolish.

The anti-environment strategy is played out. For a man who thinks he knows a lot about winning, Trump and his cronies should know denying climate change is not the way to win America.

Kay-Ann Henry is a freshman majoring in journalism.

For more, visit themiamihurricane.com

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THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

Hunter Crenian // Visuals Editor FRONT AND CENTER: Senior Branden Holzer performs as the titular character of “Pippin.” The production closed Oct. 14 at the Jerry Herman Ring Theatre after the show was delayed because of Hurricane Irma and had to rush the production process.

“Pippin” closes a spectacular run despite hurricane delays

By Laura Manuela Quesada Contributing Edge Writer

After a difficult and stormy start to the fall semester, the Jerry Herman Ring Theatre ended the run of its first show of the season, the musical “Pippin” by Stephen Schwartz and Roger Hirson, to a great success.

“Pippin” played from Oct. 5 to Oct. 14 at the Jerry Herman Ring Theatre. As the hard work of the “Pippin” performers drew to a close, it was bittersweet for the actors to say goodbye to a show that they’ve put so much time and effort into.

“Leading Player,” musical theater major Jordan Kiser, said he felt it was his responsibility to deliver an energetic act, as the soulful, singing little devil on Pippin’s shoulder throughout the show.

“It’s a little bit of a relief and a little bit sad,” Kiser said. “You have to go out there and give every single audience the best performance you can. You figure out what you’re really made of in those types of shows.”

Even after two weeks off campus because of Hurricane Irma, one week to make up for it and show opening on Oct. 5, the cast’s work was never over. The show continued to evolve and grow with each performance.

Rehearsals started immediately upon returning to campus, with cast making up for lost time in any way that they could.

With only a week to perfect the show, the pressure was on and they made a tremendous effort putting in extra hours with a steady conviction.

Branden Holzer, who played the titular character, said polishing up the show in a shorter amount of time lead to “different line reads” and “blocking moments” that carefully built upon each other to improve the performance overall.

“I think throughout the past week of performances, we’ve found a lot of new things, adding little nuances into the performance,” Holzer said.

“Pippin” was a strong choice for the first show of the season. The heavy, metaphor-laden musical about the difficulties of growing older, battling inner

demons and finding one’s purpose piqued the interest of theater-goers.

With fun music, circus sideshow-like acrobatics and a heavily used scaffold set piece, this was an exciting and entertaining show.

“It’s really exciting that it was the first show, start things off with a bang,” Holzer said.

Getting the show to its spectacular caliber took significant time and effort, especially in light of a particularly nasty hurricane season. Evacuations before Hurricane Irma made rehearsals impossible.

“It was really stressful because we were all in different places,” Holzer said.

The cast and crew’s dedication paid off. They delivered a seamless performance with a compelling energy that truly invited audiences into the world they crafted.

“Getting back in the groove of things … It was stressful, but everyone came together and worked really hard,” Holzer said. “We were focused and pulled it off.”

The small, intimate Ring Theatre makes audiences feel like part of the whole

experience.

“They do an incredible job with the small theater space and the limited props,” sophomore in political science and international relations Neemi Patel said.

Patel, who was in the audience on closing night, is a friend of one of the Ring workers and has been to several shows.

She said she saw something special in the last performance of “Pippin,” a tribute to their hard work.

The culmination of “Pippin” marks the start of a great season to come. Next on the roster is “Romeo and Juliet,” which Kiser said will not be a typical Shakespearean performance.

The performance will include gender bending aspects and modern influences, as well as Shakespearean sword fighting.

“Romeo and Juliet” will play Nov. 9 through 18 at the Ring Theatre. Buy tickets online or by calling the box office at 305-284-3355.

October 17 - October 23, 2017

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

EDGE

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“Pop Art Prints” exhibition celebrates history and color

By Charlotte Leseberg Smith Contributing Edge Writer

The “Pop Art Prints” exhibition celebrates the technicolor pop art movement, which began in the United States during the 1960s as a reaction to abstract expressionism.

Pop art served as a demonstration against the limiting distinction between high and low art.

Nestled at the centre of the University of Miami’s Lowe Art Museum, the clean white walls provide a microphone to help the colorful and playful artwork speak.

They do, after all, have a lot to say.

The exhibition included works from the Smithsonian Museum of American Art which had yet to be exhibited.

Pieces such as “Tea Bag” by Claes Oldenburg are on display. The print of a used tea bag covered in plexiglass encapsulates the pop art the movement. It elevates the everyday and plays with our preconceived notions of the world, turning what is small and soft into something large and industrial.

“Pop art is all about accessibility,” said Jill Deupi, Beaux Arts Director and Chief Curator said. “Pop art, by design, is extremely user-friendly. It is fun to look at and easy to engage with.”

The exhibition is mainly composed of prints, symbolizing the use of mass production for a mass audience and creating art for everyone.

Andy Warhol’s “Marilyn” initially evokes ideas of fame, beauty and success. Yet the plaque on the side of the work pushes viewers to think more deeply. The work was made in response to her death. The fluorescent pink plastered across her lips becomes an empty nod toward a fame that once was, and the grey background becomes cold and hard. The image recognizes its own superficiality, not just in that it is a duplicate, but that it sits between reality and celebrity.

Deupi said her favorite piece is Robert Indiana’s iconic “LOVE.” Which is a bold red, blue and green screen print of the word.

“It is tough to beat, in terms of both clarity of the message and visual impact,” Deupi said. “The fact that it is so well-known and has been the subject of so many ‘riffs’ also makes it a stand-out in our show.”

Leila Thompson, another visitor who is a sophomore ecosystem science and policy major, agreed with Deupi’s choice of artwork.

“I really like the bold colors,” Thompson said. “It’s iconic, and so

Maria Esquinca // Contributing Photographer OFF THE PAGE: The “Pop Art Prints” exhibition features “Chic from 11 Pop Artists” by Mel Ramos. The exhibit will be on display at the Lowe Art Museum until Dec. 17.

is the message behind it.”

Under the veneer of garish colors, there is history, culture and cynicism.

“As one of the artists who is featured in the show, Jim Dine, once said, ‘Pop is the American

Dream: optimistic, generous and naïve,’” Deupi said. “I like that idea, particularly during these very fraught and troubling times.”

Go to this exhibition to see Warhol, Lichtenstein and Rauschenberg, but go mainly to see

them in a context and a light you have never seen them in before.

The exhibition will be on display through Dec. 17 in the Lowe Art Museum at 1301 Stanford Drive.

Frost Symphonic Winds remixes staple wind band compositions

By Anastasiya Plotnikova Contributing Edge Writer

Gusman Hall has seen countless Frost School of Music concerts and performances, but Frost Symphonic Winds’ “Inspirations” was perhaps the most distinct.

Transcending time and space, “Inspirations” aimed to create an unconventional sensory experience for the audience and musicians alike – incorporating lines and melodies across thousands of years and filtering it through the current outlook on classics.

Frost Symphonic Winds is comprised of students in the Frost school and offers a wide range of musical styles. This concert was their first of the season and the first of the “Inspirations” series, showcasing talented Frost student musicians, music

majors and non-music majors alike.

As the lights dimmed and the audience grew quiet, professor and conductor J. Steven Moore stepped onto the podium and gave the downbeat for Michael Markowski’s “joyRiDE,” appropriately named for its adventurous and upbeat blend of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy” and John Adam’s quirky and quick “Short Ride on a Fast Machine.” “’Inspirations’ was in essence a representation of what the UM community stands for: engaging in activities that transform our lives,” Moore said.

In between bouts of big, bold statements and familiar, inspired melodies, one oboe soloist stood out.

Ariana Varvaro, a freshman majoring in music instrumental performance, created chillingly clear renditions of Holst’s and Chance’s oboe solos. “[The solos] went well,” said Varvaro, a newcomer to Frost. “I felt good about

them.”

Varvaro’s challenging solos resonated with many, as she had hoped they would.

Audience member Shari Drumond, who participated in the Winds’ standing ovation, commended the program for its variety.

“They had a great selection,” Drumond said. “This is definitely not my first concert, and it won’t be my last.”

Hearty applause filled the concert hall as musicians triumphantly shuffled their sheet music from Holst to Steven Bryant’s 2007 “Suite Dreams” and Ira Hearshen’s “Symphony on Themes of John Philip Sousa.”

Both Bryant and Hearshen sought to remix timeless wind band classics while paying homage to the original works of Holst and Sousa.

Guest director Chee Weng Yim stepped in to lead the talented group in

closing off the concert with Ron Nelson’s tribute to the Middle Ages, “Medieval Suite,” and John Barnes Chance’s fluid “Variations on a Korean Folk Song.”

“Medieval Suite,” which drew from composers from the Middle Ages and Perotin’s dissonant and fanfare-like style, proved to be a refreshing addition to UM’s Frost School of Music repertoire.

Chance’s motivation behind composing “Variations” can be traced back to his time serving in the U.S. Army in Korea – transformative event which he hallmarked with a composition.

The Winds carried the sound with utmost respect and vibrancy, ending the night and their first concert exciting the audience for what is to come this semester.

To learn more about the FSW, visit frost.miami.edu/about-us/ensembles/ individual-ensembles/frost-symphonicwinds.

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SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

COMMENTARY

October 17 - October 23, 2017

Sports

Malik Rosier makes team’s former weakness its strength PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES: BOUNDARIES: Miami redshirt junior quarterback Malik Rosier (12) rushes between the tackles for a positive yardage. Miami defeated Georgia Tech 25-24 Oct. 14 at Hard Rock Stadium.

By Cody Brown Senior Sports Writer

By no means has Malik Rosier played perfect games over the course of the last two Saturdays.

There was the lackluster first half at Florida State in which the Miami Hurricanes were held scoreless and barely managed to cross midfield.

There were also times at home against Georgia Tech Oct. 14 when drives were stalled because Rosier and the rest of the offense couldn’t find a rhythm.

But, when the game is on the line, Rosier has consistently shown an uncanny ability to kick the offense into overdrive and leave the field victorious.

For a good portion of the last decade, coming up short in the moments that matter most has marred Miami’s football reputation. However, it seems that Rosier has exceeded all expectations by bringing a newfound confidence to the team that has allowed them to shine when the spotlight is

brightest.

Before consecutive wins to the Seminoles and Yellow Jackets, big games were a dreadful experience for most Canes fans. Miami had endured a seven-game losing streak against their arch rival, FSU – a streak so long that Rosier remembered attending the last Miami victory over Florida State while he was still in middle school.

“My sisters were FSU fans, and my dad and I were Miami fans, so it was pretty crazy,” Rosier said.

Watching Miami squander opportunities during key moments in those big games was an even more excruciating experience for Miami supporters.

For evidence, look no further than the previous three games against Florida State.

In all three, the Hurricanes had a chance to score and take the lead on the final possession, and in all three, they failed.

But not this year.

“In years past, we’ve folded in those big moments – we’ve folded on those fourth quarter drives,” senior wideout Braxton

Berrios said.

Rosier was a player who many believed got chosen as the starting quarterback solely because he was the most experienced – not necessarily the most talented at the position.

Expectations weren’t extremely high, but there were still obvious pressures that came with being named the starter – ones that Rosier was more than willing to accept.

So, when he is asked to lead gamewinning drives in back-to-back weeks against two talented ACC opponents, Rosier didn’t think twice. The pressures don’t phase him.

The Canes are still undefeated, and Rosier is leading the charge.

“I’m not trying to do anything more than what I’m coached to do and coaches are doing a great job at putting me in the right situation at the end of the game to make the game a winning drive,” Rosier said after a one-point win over Georgia Tech.

Rosier is the source of the team’s confidence that allows them to thrive during the moments where they have previously wilted. He is not afraid to put

Josh White // Staff Photographer

the responsibility on himself, something that many quarterbacks in the recent past haven’t always done. There has been a lot of “sticking to the script.”

Yes, the U invented swagger, but after getting slammed with NCAA sanctions years ago, it seemed like the football program more often shied away from it.

Rosier has brought this swagger back, propelling the Canes to a 5-0 start and an ascension to the No. 8 ranking in the latest AP Top 25 poll. In the process, he has put up impressive numbers that have placed him on the watch list for the Manning Award, which is an honor given to the nation’s top quarterback.

Few expected either one of those two accomplishments out of Rosier, and even he was hesitant when asked if he believed he would be the one to get the proverbial FSU monkey off of Miami’s back.

“Did I ever think it would be me?

Maybe, but the fact that it is me now is so exhilarating,” Rosier said.

October 17 - October 23, 2017

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

SPORTS

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ATHLETICS

RECOGNIZING GREATNESS GREATNESS:: Former Miami football greats Ray Lewis (left), Warren Sapp (middle) and Michael Irvin (right) are honored as inductees of the class of 2017 Ring of Honor Oct. 13 at Turnberry Isle Resort. The late Sean Taylor was represented by his daughter Jackie (bottom).

Photo courtesy Miami Athletics

UM football legends inducted into Hurricanes’ Ring of Honor

By Maxwell Trink Contributing Sports Writer @MaxwellTrink

Darrell Langham’s incredible catch and Michael Badgley’s gamewinning field goal were not the only memorable moments during the Miami Hurricanes’ win over Georgia Tech this past Saturday.

At halftime, many UM football legends, including Michael Irvin, Warren Sapp, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and the late Sean Taylor were inducted into the Miami Hurricanes Ring of Honor.

The class of 2017 was honored at a luncheon on Friday, Oct. 13, at the Turnberry Isle Resort. At the event, Lewis, Sapp and Irvin all gave emotional speeches reflecting on their times at the U. “I look at the University of Miami, and I call it the greatest cocoon,” Irvin said. “A cocoon takes you from one stage of life to another, and you come out the best you. We all went into Miami. We were just kids – we were boys. We came out men.”

Irvin was a freshman AllAmerican in 1985 and a second team

All-American in 1987. During his three years as a Hurricane, Irvin set many records – including the most receiving touchdowns in UM history with 26, the third-most receiving yards with 2,423 and tying for the fourthmost receptions with 143.

Irvin led the Canes to a national championship in 1987. In 1988, Irvin was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys and won three Super Bowls with the team. Irvin was inducted into the UM Sports Hall of Fame in 2000 and into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2007.

Irvin has a son who currently plays for Miami, sophomore tight end Michael Irvin Jr. Sapp had one of the greatest seasons ever for a UM defensive player in 1994, winning Big East Defensive Player of the Year. He was also named Defensive Player of the Year by the Football Writers’ Association of America, Sports illustrated and ABC Sports.

Miami’s defense was the No. 1-ranked total defense and scoring defense that season. During his NFL career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he was selected to seven Pro Bowls and won the Super Bowl in 2002. Sapp

was inducted into the UM Sports Hall of Fame in 2005 and the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2013.

“If you have any questions, go look at the wall,” Sapp said about his experience at UM. “All the great ones on the wall, and if you ever want to know what it is to be a Cane or play like a Cane, we got to go to the tape.

Everything you need to know about being a Cane is on there.”

Lewis was one of the most intimidating linebackers ever to come to the school. Lewis was made the All-Big East team in 1994 and 1995.

During his time at the U, he had 312 total tackles, which ranks sixth in Miami’s record books.

Lewis was drafted in 1995 to the Baltimore Ravens and went on to become a two-time Super Bowl Champion and 13-time Pro Bowler.

In his 17 NFL seasons, Lewis had over 2,000 career tackles. He was inducted into the UM Sports Hall of Fame in 2006.

“For me to be here today – to the University of Miami, thank you for giving me the opportunity that many other people would have never have given me,” Lewis said. “The University

of Miami is the greatest school ever for one simple reason – we don’t just come from school, we come from a brotherhood. Once we are about the U, we are always about the U.” Reed developed into one of the best safeties in the country at Miami.

During his last two seasons at the U, he was a first-team All-American and made the All-Big East team.

In 2001, he led the Hurricanes to a national championship. Reed holds the record for most interceptions at Miami with 21. He also has the most interception return yards with 398.

With Lewis as a teammate, he led the Baltimore Ravens to a Super Bowl Championship in 2012. Reed was selected to nine Pro Bowls throughout his career and won Defensive Player of the Year in 2004. Reed was inducted into the UM Sports Hall of Fame in 2012.

Taylor was represented by his daughter Jackie at the ceremony.

“I’m so proud of how hard my father worked to receive this honor,” she said. “He took a lot of pride in his career as a Hurricane.”

Taylor took over Reed’s position in 2003 and thrived in the role.

That season, he led the nation in interceptions, and currently holds the UM record for most pick-sixes in a season with three.

He was an All-American in 2003 and was named Big East Player of the Year. He ranks fifth all-time in interceptions at Miami with 14 and is second to only Reed in interception return yards with 306 yards. He was selected to two Pro Bowls with the Washington Redskins.

Taylor was a part of the Miami team that won the 2001 National Championship, and he was inducted into the UM Sports Hall of Fame in 2015.

Taylor passed away in 2007 after being shot in the upper leg by a burglar who broke into his home.

These five players added to UM’s outstanding list of players in the Ring of Honor. There are now 23 players that have been inducted.

“These group of men speak about one thing, and that is whatever you want to go do in life, go do it,” Lewis said. “Make up you mind and do whatever you want to go do. This moment speaks volumes about that.”

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THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

FOOTBALL

Former UM baseball star now runs Miami football’s nutrition program

By Isaiah Kim-Martinez Sports Editor sports@themiamihurricane.com @isaiah_km

Kyle Bellamy was a high school standout, a two-time All-American at the University of Miami from 2008-09, and on the brink of getting consistent playing time as a Major League Baseball relief pitcher for the Chicago White Sox in 2010.

But then he hurt his shoulder, causing him to miss all of the 2011 season. Just two years later, he tore the Ulnar Collateral Ligament in his elbow and had to have Tommy John surgery, the procedure that frequently alters pitchers’ careers forever.

While rehabilitating his arm in the fall of 2014, Bellamy chose to go back to UM to finish his undergraduate degree in exercise physiology.

That’s when he fell in love with the program, and with his wife pregnant with their first son, Bellamy made the decision to stop playing baseball and pursue another path.

“The preparation that athletes go through for game day is something I really grew an interest for,” Bellamy said. “I developed a really serious passion for this type of coaching – strength and conditioning and athletic performance.”

After a year-and-a-half of interning full time with UM baseball’s strength and conditioning coach, Brian Gabriel, Bellamy was offered the job as the Hurricanes’ director of football nutrition and performance in February 2016.

“It was the best decision I ever made,” Bellamy said. “Because if I would have stalled and finished the season up there, I wouldn’t have been in that fall semester. My whole timeline was about perfect timing.”

Bellamy now oversees the sports nutrition needs for Miami’s entire athletics department, including nutrition education, counseling, training tables, body composition analysis and supplement evaluation.

But football is his primary responsibility and the 114 players on the roster take up nearly all his time.

“We are developing athletes to help them reach their maximum potential,” he said.

Bellamy and his staff base their nutrition plans specific for each player based on what he is doing in the weight room – whether he is trying to gain weight, lose weight or maintain, and if he is trying to gain muscle or size.

The players are required on most days to eat both breakfast and dinner at the school dining hall, where scheduled meals are planned for each athlete’s specific needs. Bellamy will be there, sitting down with the players to make sure they’re eating the right foods.

The athletes will usually be given more freedom for lunch, but often times, the meals will be nutritious options catered from restaurants like P. F. Chang’s, Carrabbas and Pollo Tropical. Bellamy picks meals with a high carb-based starch and a quality protein meat for players to refuel after practice.

The staff makes sure the lounge outside the gym is stocked with snacks and other nutritious items such as postlift protein shakes. Each shake is made individually for the athletes depending on what they like and need. A fruit smoothie or a chocolate and peanut butter shake are two examples. Bellamy makes sure every drink contains the right types of proteins and carbs for the player depending on the types of workouts he is doing.

During practice, Bellamy monitors hydration, seeing that players get the

proper drinks with the right amount of electrolytes to alleviate fatigue. He also oversees the stretching period and watches throughout practice for any signs of cramping.

After practice, the staff sets up a refueling station with fruit, protein shakes and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

The players will get snack bags to carry with them throughout their day of classes. The bags contain peanut butter and jellies, protein shakes, bananas, Goldfish, Cheez-Its, granola bars, nuts and beef jerky.

“This is basically to bridge the gap between lunch and dinner,” Bellamy said. “That way during class, they don’t need to think about what they have to eat, and they don’t have to spend money. It’s all right there.”

But when it comes down to it, Bellamy’s main goal is not necessarily to constantly control what the players eat, but instead it is to teach them why eating right will not only help them in their careers, but also for the rest of their lives.

“Education is huge because nothing is stopping them from getting McDonald’s at midnight,” Bellamy said. “That’s where I see the impact – you have to educate them because ultimately they will have to make the decisions on their own. Nutrition is a lifestyle, not just a diet here and there.”

He continued, “Me being able to share my story and help other athletes, honestly that inspired me more than anything,” Bellamy said. “This feels like more my purpose in life than my playing career. I love teaching them and explaining to them why we are doing one thing over another, and using my past experiences to help them with whatever trials and tribulations they’re going through.”

A TYPICAL DAY OF EATING

BREAKFAST: GRITS WHEAT TOAST OMLETS A LOT OF FRUIT

AFTER PRACTICE: PROTEIN SHAKE or yogurt

LUNCH: OFTEN CATERED Pollo Tropical, P.F. Chang’s, Carraba’s: lots of protein and carbs

MIDDAY SNACK: SNACK BAG

made by Athletics. Lots of Cheez-its and PBJs.

DINNER: PASTA

with chicken and veggies

October 17 - October 23, 2017

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

V has been feeling kind of nostalgic lately.

You may remember last week, when we discussed Kik – known more commonly as the place you likely sent and/or received your first D pic. Or V pic. Or T pic.

You can probably insert any letter you want because sometimes Kik got pretty kinky.

This got V thinking about some of the best digital doodads of our past – Club Penguin, Ask.fm, Poptropica and AOL Instant Messenger a.k.a AIM (Rest In Peace).

But none of these compare to the long-lasting, true digital gem of our generation: Omegle, the anonymous online chat tool that lets you text or video chat with a random stranger from anywhere in the world.

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

Five fiends you meet on Omegle You can chat based on a common interest or watch two other people chat. You can make up an entirely fake backstory (this is recommended) and learn about the unique personalities, cultures and private parts of the world.

Over the weekend, I was bored and yearning for the good ol’ days, so I decided to log on to Omegle. Ah, the terrible website layout and feeling of shameful curiosity it gave me. V spent a very long time on the site, and I came up with a definitive list of the five people who will ask for your “ASL” (age, sex, location) on Omegle:

sleepover fun. Good for you, teens.

Enjoy spending the next four hours giggling uncontrollably whenever anybody does anything. We know you said you’re 18, Megan. We know you’re not.

V’S TAKE

15

Porn Advertisement I don’t want to check out your private show, Stephanie. I know you’ll just try to steal my credit card information.

Thought This Was Skype Usually, this is a confused foreigner who just stares into their Solo Stroker grainy web camera. They’re not sure We’ve all seen this shot, of who they are, where they are, framed from belly button to knees.

Probably the most scarring encounter why they are there or how they got there. They were just trying to Skype on Omegle. One second you’re their grandma to wish her a happy nonchalantly clicking through birthday. chats and the next, you’ve got junk mail. I get you like to be watched – [Blank Screen] sometimes I do, too – but turn your They’re watching you. They camera off while whacking off. In the don’t have their camera on, but they’re words of Mike Wazowski, “Put that 14-Year-Old Girl with Friends watching you.

Very impressive, you disabled the thing back where it came from or so Net Nanny on your parent’s desktop help me.” Sorry about your childhood.

Moral of the story, you never know computer and were able to hack who you’re talking to on these sites. into the goldmine for some naughty

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THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 17 - October 23, 2017

President Frenk invites you to attend

a special open house with new University and student leadership Join us for a reception to meet some of the new faces on the U’s student and administrative leadership teams. Stop in for food, fun, and a chance to show some of the newest members of our community a real ’Canes welcome—and learn how together our community is Moving the U Forward.

Coral Gables Campus Shalala Student Center Ballroom Thursday October 26 4:30 … 6:30 p.m.

Miller School of Medicine Campus Schoninger Research Quadrangle Friday November 17 1 … 3 p.m.

To register, go to forward.miami.edu.