TOXIC POSITIVITY: IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

by Cheska Orias

“Toxic positivity is the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset or — my pet peeve term — ‘positive vibes,’” as explained by Dr. Jamie Zuckerman, a clinical psychologist in Pennsylvania. In a study by Science of People, 67.8% of respondents said they experienced toxic positivity from someone in the past week.

Toxic positivity sees negative emotions as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’ It pushes positivity and happiness onto someone, denying, minimizing, or invalidating authentic human feelings.

Positive thinking itself isn’t a harmful thing and can greatly help you, but over time and with the wrong kind of thinking it can become detrimental to your well-being. Such as masking your true feelings, not facing your problems, brushing them off, and feeling guilty for being sad, angry, or disappointed. Based on a 10-year Stanford study, it was found that denying negative feelings was linked to higher levels of depression. As Science of People put it, if you continue to deny your negative feelings it will continue to build up over time and become a bigger problem.

Daniella Jeanelle Bilango (c/o 2024) knows these feelings all too well. “When you open up to someone about these personal things, they’ll reply with others have it worse than you or you’ll get over it. It just makes me feel worse about the situation.”

She also knows people who favor being happy rather than confronting how they genuinely feel. Bilango even had people break down before her, just trying to explain why. Why do they feel this way in their jumbled-up emotions? “Whenever I see them at school, they try to be happy and stay positive while I know they’re breaking inside,” she said.

In March 2023, I conducted a survey and was able to get 51 students to respond to it. Freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors, were asked a se- help.”

Students might not know the term ‘toxic positivity’, but they know what it feels like as 47.1% responded they know the term toxic positivity. I also asked how many times they experienced toxic positivity in the past week and more than half answered that they have at least once a week, with about 18% of those surveyed experiencing it more than three times a week. About 95% of responses from students also tend to ignore their feelings in favor of being happy even though they aren’t with reasons ranging from themselves, friends, family, social status, and more.

Lastly, I included a short written response for students to share their experiences with toxic positivity.

“Teachers saying to ‘Just be happy, it’s not as bad when I was in school”

“Just be happy. I don’t get why you have to be sad when you can be happy” ries of questions relating to the topic of ‘Toxic Positivity.’ Even with a small amount of response, I was able to get a better understanding and grip on the topic.

The definition I provided was–Toxic Positivity happens when people believe that having any negative thoughts about anything should be avoided; that they should still be happy and positive even if it hurts. Such examples that can be considered toxic positivity under the circumstances are; “Stop being so negative,” “It could be worse,” “Just think on the bright side,” and “Smile, crying won’t

“I’ve been through worse”

“Why are you stressing out it’s not even that bad”

“At least you don’t have to worry about paying bills and food, you’re just a student and not even a good one, just average.”

Along with a short written response on personal tips they would give to people dealing with toxic positivity.

“Be true to yourself, let yourself be sad, feel emotions”

“Find other people to talk to that will make you feel better”

“Tune it out and understand that you can feel whatever emotion you’re feeling at the moment. Understanding your emotions builds strong emotional intelligence which is better for you in the long term in understanding why you’re feeling a certain way”

“Have mental health days, take a break to do things you enjoy”

“Tell the person that emotions can’t change in an instant”

Toxic positivity is a real thing that happens in our day-to-day life, and it’s not something we can ignore. These students’ experiences are examples that it is real and not make-believe.

Remember, it’s okay to feel sad and not okay. Let yourself be vulnerable. Bottling it up will only make it worse for your mental health. Please remember that there are people out there that will listen to you and not make you push away your problems. Your mental health comes first above all, and understanding how you feel and what your body needs is one thing that can help you.

If you are still struggling or need someone to talk to, here are some resources.

Crisis Text Line: Text ‘ALOHA’ to 741741

Crisis Line: (Oahu) (808) 832-3100 (Neighbor Islands) 1-808-753-6879

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-808-2730-TALK (8255

Self-Harm Hotline: 1-808-366-8288

If you wish to learn more about toxic positivity, these resources are linked online:

Toxic Positivity: Why Positive Vibes are Ruining You

The Rise Of Toxic Positivity, And What You Can Do About It

When Too Much of a Good Attitude Becomes Toxic | NEA