Survivor to Survivor With Trevor Maxwell

By Trevor Maxwell

I’ve been living with stage IV colon cancer since March of 2018. Before that time, I was cruising along as a husband, father, and independent business owner. I was 41 years old and never imagined cancer would knock on the door.

Then, in what seemed like an instant, I found myself in a new world of scans, surgeries, and chemotherapy. I had colon surgery at Maine Medical Center in April 2018. Since that time I have had surgeries and treatment at Central Maine Medical Center in Lewiston, Mass General Hospital in Boston, Johns Hopkins Cancer Center in Baltimore, and New England Cancer Specialists in Scarborough.

The physical challenges hit me hard. But not nearly as hard as the mental health challenges.

Crippling anxiety and depression sank their teeth into me. For a few months after my diagnosis, I spent entire days weeping, without hope, and without the fighting spirit I felt I was supposed to have. I grappled with deep shame.

At the lowest point, my family did not abandon me. They carried me. I promised them: “No matter if I live one more year or 40 more, I’m going to do everything in my power to regain my mental health, and to live with joy and purpose.”

That process started by admitting I needed help. I found a local support group and a therapist. I also joined communities online and met amazing people who were facing cancer. Those connections have been essential in my emotional recovery. They have also been essential for providing

Knowledge About My Disease And My Treatment Options

But I noticed a glaring gender gap along the way. The vast majority of people seeking support are women. It’s largely a mix of women patients and survivors, as well as caregivers trying to find ways to help their husbands, sons, brothers, and fathers.

Trevor Maxwell, 46, has been living with stage IV colon cancer since March of 2018. He has undergone five major surgeries, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and a clinical trial. He lives in Maine with his wife and two teenage daughters.

Of course they do. They are just too proud, angry, ashamed, or depressed to seek it out. Too many men feel they have to take on every challenge on their own. We are taught to not burden others. The consequences of this are undeniable. When men isolate during cancer, they are at high risk for mental health problems, broken relationships, and poor medical outcomes.

I decided that I needed to do something about this problem. In January 2020 I launched an online community and purposedriven company called Man Up to Cancer.

Through our podcast, website, annual retreat, and local chapters across North America, we are changing what it means to “Man Up” in the face of cancer. It’s not just about being tough. It means having the courage to accept help, and knowing we are smarter and stronger as a pack than we are as lone wolves.

We have a private Facebook group called The Howling Place, which is a place for male cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers to unwind, make friends, and share stories.

In December 2022, I published a book, “Open Heart, Warrior Spirit: A Man’s Guide to Living with Cancer,” which explores the reasons why men go into our “man caves” when facing a cancer diagnosis, and how we can change that narrative.

There are thousands of men out there who feel just like I did a few years back. Anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, isolated by cancer. If this describes you, and you’re ready for change, there’s a whole wolf pack waiting for you.

Trevor has a background in journalism, communications, and public relations. He founded ManUptoCancer in January of 2020, as a purpose-driven company and support community for men impacted by cancer. As a patient leader, he has received the Annette Cook Cancer Warrior Award, presented by the WunderGlo Foundation; and the Amanda Dempsey Award, presented by the Dempsey Center.