5 minute read
I'm One Strong Cowgirl
Survivors Giving Back: I Am One Strong Cowgirl
By Laurie Hyndman
When Debbie Cupo puts her mind to something, get out of the way. She is a bundle of energy, determination, and fortitude. She is an entrepreneur, rancher, farmer, successful businesswoman, great friend to many and can accomplish just about anything. We have known each other for almost 30 years, having met doing something we both love – playing golf.
In February, 2022, Debbie reached out and asked me to join her for lunch. Not only did we share our love of golf, but we now shared something more profound. We were both breast cancer survivors. While I was 14 years out from my diagnosis, Debbie was just finishing her treatment. While our experiences were unique to each of us, the emotional impact was equally challenging and we have both found positive ways to channel that.
A diagnosis of cancer puts you into a tailspin. The shock of the news, many appointments with various providers, the disruption to your life and your loved ones, and the actual treatment are overwhelming. Getting through active treatment becomes your focus and your care team becomes just that- your team. And then, you are through with active treatment and that safety net slips away. You are now called a survivor, and unfamiliar role. What do I do now?
On that day Debbie’s emotions were raw, she was still recovering from active treatment, her hair was starting to peak out of her cap, and she was clearly processing this life-changing experience. Beneath that raw emotion was clearly incredibly strong resolve – she wanted to give back to the incredible medical team that cared for her throughout her journey – and she had an idea.
In the days right after her diagnosis when there were many meetings with physicians and nurse navigators, Debbie realized that “These people are really going to take care of me…They were so unconditional in making you feel that you’re going to get through this.” Then during her treatment, she met other patients from all walks of life and from all over Maine. She marveled at their attitudes and their fortitude. “The people I met who were also in treatment made such a big impact on me. These were people, everyday people…coming down from Skowhegan or wherever for treatment, then going back home, taking care of family, normal everyday life.”
It was at this point her resolve led her to support her care team at The Breast Care Center and those receiving care. “What can I do to give back? Well, I love golf, so let’s have a golf tournament.” And that’s what we ultimately brainstormed about on that day in February. Not only had she decided to have one golf tournament, she was going to have two! One was going to be a women’s tournament and the other co-ed, and the funds were going to go towards patients' needs and support.
She walked me through all of her plans, every detail. I was breathless! They were already scheduled for that summer! All she asked me to do was play in the tournaments and speak about my journey, my role on the Patient and Family Advisory Council at MMC, and my involvement at The Breast Care Center. That was easy! I marveled that this woman, devastated by her diagnosis and treatment, was channeling her emotions to give back to others.
Both tournaments were very successful and there was not one detail that was missed. Debbie, almost singlehandedly, recruited teams, convinced
I Am One Strong Cowgirl
businesses to sponsor the events, and made sure every participant had a great time. She raised awareness for the incredible care available to Mainers right here in Maine. And in two years she has raised over $350,000, and she is already thinking about other ways she can raise funds for The Breast Care Center.
When we sat down earlier this month, Debbie and I talked about what it means to be a survivor. “Two years out, I’m a survivor and that is huge,” she shared. “You definitely need support. You think you are doing really good, then, uh-oh, I’m not doing good.” There are checkups, MRIs, blood tests, and that’s when the fear creeps back in. As Debbie said, there is residual trauma from the wait and the worry. It’s always stressful, yet the care team is still there. They understand where we are and provide incredible emotional and practical support every step of the way.
This influenced Debbie’s decision to direct this year’s proceeds from the tournaments to the newly established Survivorship Program. This program “is huge and it’s as big as active treatment. We need help with the emotional,
nutritional, and physical impacts that remain with us after active treatment.” This program provides that support and acknowledges that while we survived, it is an on-going journey, not only for us, but for our families.
Sharing our journeys with each other is also part of being a survivor. While our experiences are unique to us, there is much that we share in common. And we are both very grateful for the care we received from everyone at The Breast Care Center and for their continued support for us as survivors.
When I asked Debbie what she has learned from all of this, she said, “I am one strong cowgirl (chokes up). I knew I was strong, but I didn’t know I was this strong.” Then she wisely shared, “It’s a new day and nothing is going to be like yesterday. I’ll never be the same, but that’s ok, because I’m here.”
