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Home of Fast, Friendly, Knowledgeable Service SHOP ONLINE at www.FRYS.com “Advertised prices valid only in metropolitan circulation area of newspaper in which this advertisement appears. Prices and selection shown in this advertisement may not be available online at Fry’s website: www.FRYS.com”

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STORE HOURS M-F 8-9, Sat 9-9, Sun 9-8 Prices Good Wednesday, May 27, 2015 through Thursday May 28, 2015. Prices subject to change after Thursday May 28, 2015. Limit Rights Reserved. Not Responsible for Typographical Errors. No Sales to Dealers or Resellers. Rebates Subject to Manufacturer’s Specifications. Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners. Sales tax to be calculated and paid on the in-store price for all rebate products.Actual memory capacity stated above may be less. Total accessible memory capacity may vary depending on operating environment and/or method of calculating units of memory (i.e., megabytes or gigabytes). Portions of hard drives may be reserved for the recovery partition or used by pre-loaded software.

Fry’s Electronics, American Express® Cards, MasterCard, Visa Card, and Discover Network Card, Accepted at All Fry’s Locations “We Will Match Any Competitive Price*.” Before making a purchase from a Fry’s Electronics store, if you see a lower current price at a local authorized competitor in-stock, or from an authorized Internet competitor ready to ship, Fry’s will be happy to match the competition’s delivered price. “30-Day Price Match Promise*.” If within 30 days of purchasing an item from a Fry’s Electronics store you see a lower current price at a local authorized competitor in-stock, or from an authorized Internet competitor ready to ship, Fry’s will cheerfully refund 110% of the difference. Or if within 30 days of purchase you see a lower current price from a local Fry’s lectronics store, Fry’s will refund 100% of the difference. To apply for Fry’s price match promise, simply bring in your original cash register receipt and verifiable proof of a lower current price. *Note: Some products only offer 15 days. Other conditions apply. See additional terms and conditions at http://www.frys.com/onlineads/0001507075

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THIS T HIS MODERN M WORLD W ORLD D

By T TOM OM T TOMORROW OMORROW

I SAW YOU

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Movie Madness

comments com mments@metr metronews.com onnews.coom RE: “F “FAIR AIR TRADE,” TRADEE,” NEWS, NEWS, MAY MA AY 20 20

I kno know ow where I’ I’m ’m going wh when hen I get home. ho ome. TTORI ORI NICHEL NICHELLE LLE POR PORTER TER VIA FFACEBOOK ACEBOOK

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RE: “F “FAIR AIR TRADE, TRADE,” ,” NE NEWS, WS, MA M MAY AY 2200

Oh, San Jose. CCat at caf cafes es ar aree sooooo 2012. The people demand demand at least hedgehogs and sloths wit with h their coff coffee ee these days.

Great article fr G @ @metronewspaper o “Sparks” Exhibit on a SJ City College at that Glass th hat focuses on Glas ss Movement S Sculpture M ovemen o nt

So so so many homeless cats out ther theree and everywhere! everywher e! :( They need all the exposure exxposure and help they can c get! This is great! great! LLove ove it!

KHOI HUYN HUYNH H VIA FFACEBOOK ACEBOOK RE: “FAIR TRADE,” TRADEE,” NEWS, NEWS, MAY MA AY 20 20

How did I no nott know about this? MIINA TUP TUPALA A VIA FFACEBOOK ALA ACEBOOK

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Damn right I was stoked to see the new Mad Max movie. I was at the theater, opening weekend. Overpriced movie tickets? Fine. Long lines an hour before showtime? No problem. In fact, I enjoy the whole summer blockbuster movie-going experience. It takes me back to my high school years, when going to the movies was all my friends and I were old enough do. So when nostalgia dovetails with excitement for a particular film, I don’t mess around. I take it all in. It’s almost ritualistic. Everyone’s phones on silent. Everyone’s brains on “airplane mode.” But just as the trailers start—a big part of the cinema experience for me—a loud rapid-fire cough echoed in the theater. Another trailer, another coughing fit. This was a problem. Somebody in there was sick and decided to go to the movies regardless. Not cool, dude. Sneaking in candy—fine, OK. Even alcohol. Just don’t you dare sneak in those contagious germs. Your coughing and volcanic sneezes went on until after the credits rolled. You violated the Golden Rule of movie-watching, that is to shut the hell up. When you’re contagious and the telltale signs of your illness are loud and obnoxious, you stay home. You wouldn’t go in to work, would you? So why would you think any different about going to the movies? The end.

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ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS CLOSE TO HOME

metroactive.com metr oactive.com | sanjo sanjose.com ose.com | metr metrosiliconvalley.com osiliconvalley.com | M MAY AY 27-JUNE 27-J U N E 2, 2015

THE T HE FL FFLY LY

Exec Ex ec Ex EExodus odus Milpitas City H Hall, all, for for the lif lifee of it, can’t can ’t seem to hang h on to its top-tier Resources Director employees. Human Human Resour ces Dir ector VALDEZ CARMEN V ALDE A EZ became the latest in a long line of dep department artment heads to abruptly leave. V Valdez, who aaldez, w ho worked at the city for for 30 yyears,, accelerated acccelerated her rretirement etirement date thr three ee times. times.. But on May 15,, she was reportedly “walked out”” without any public reportedly “walk ked out explanation. Sou Sources urces who work with her blame City Man Manager TOM WILLIAMS,, ager T OM WILLIAMS whose angry outbursts o have allegedly scared scared off a litany litany of staffers. staffers. As As reported, reported, GREG GREG ARMENDARIZ ARMENDARIZ stepped down from from his post as public works works director or some unspeciﬁed director in 20122 ffor medical pr problem. successor,, obleem. His successor JEFF MONEDA, MONEDA, ffollowed ollowed suit last November, City.. November, taking takiing a job in Foster City Planning dir director BARNHART ecttor DIANA B ARNHART also quit ffor purported health or purpor rted heal th reasons. reasons. There There are are more—not more—not to mention a steady clip of mid-management mid-maanagement turnover—butt we’re we’re They running out of column Did inches. Replaci Replacing ng What? directors costing directors is cos sting the city a ffortune, ortuune, SEND TIP TIPSS TTO O as evidenced by b the FLY@ FL LY Y@ $24,000 budgeted $24,000 budge eted to METRONEWS. METRONEWS. COM COM recruit recruit a rreplacement eplaccement for before for Valdez. Valdez. Justt bef ore STEVE STEVE MCHARRIS MCHARR RIS left his post as plannin planning director ng dir ector for for a job in the city of San Jos Jose—about e—about week-and-ahalf before weekss wer weree up—he before his two week ﬁled a complai complaint nt against Williams. Of course that com complaint through mplaint went thr ough the head of HR, HR R, Valdez Valdez at the time, who forwarded forwarded it too city attorney MIKE OGAZ. Ogaz br brought ought the t matter to the City Council for urgent for an ur gent closed-session discussion andd was rrewarded ewarded ffor or abiding by duee pr process ocess by becoming subject to a pe personnel himself,, ersonnel rreview eview himself courtesy of Williams Williams ally and mailbox-pilfering mailbox-pilfering Councilwoman DEBBIE GIORD GIORDANO. Sources A . Sour ANO ces say Williams was none too happy h about Valdez Valdez alerting policym policymakers makers to the complaint and made wha what at was left of her City Hall tenure miserable tenure a miser able enough slog that she expedited her rretirement. etirement.

Greg Gr eg Ramar Raamar

SVNEWS

Agri-topia FARMVILLE F ARMVILLE Activist Kirk V Vartan art a tan wants to see six acres of fal fallow llow land revived as a farm-cen farm-centric ntric urban village.

Community lobb C lobbies bies for urban ‘‘agrihood’ ag agrihood’ at former research r site BY B Y JENNIFER W WADSWORTH A ADSWORTH T

EERING through the EERING diamond-crossed wire wirre fence, Kirk Vartan Vartan describes his vision for fo or the empty plot of dirt and an nd asphalt assphalt across the street from fro om Westﬁeld Westﬁeld Valley Valley Fair Fair mall. In n just a few years, years, he says, says, those th hose six acres could become becom me a bustling urban village with witth low-income lo ow-income senior housing, a community y farm,, rooftop, rooftop p, aquaponic aq quaponic and vertical gardens, ga ardens, artisan shops, shops, studios stud dios and an nd an open-air market. “This is the only op open en spac space, e, the on only nly contiguous contiguous o six acr acres es the cit city ty of Sant Santaa Clara Cl lara has left,” he sa says, ays y , clutching ccolorful olorrful rrenderings e enderings illustrating the site site’s ’s tent tentative a ve ativ

future as a so future so-called -caalled “agr “agrihood," rihood," a ound shar ed d farms that ’s tract built ar around shared that’s cities cropped cr opped up in ab about out a dozen d thr oughout the nation. “W We don n’’t w ant a throughout “We don’t want oring pr roposal. W to see another b boring proposal. Wee d don n’’t w aant de d eveelopmen l nt ffor o or the h sak ke off don’t want development sake de eveelopment.” development. A dec caade after ac quiriing a slic ce of decade acquiring slice a fformer o ormer agricultural rresearch essearch site at 9 0N inchester i Boule evard fr om the 90 N.. W Winchester Boulevard from st taate, the cit ty of Sant lara has rrevived eviv v ved e state, city Santaa Cl Clara plans to rredevelop eedeevelop e it. Bas sed on the Based e, the cit ty has to original terms of the sale sale, city include at least 165 low-i income senior low-income homes and meet a strictt deadline to br eak gr ro ound b 0177. But V ar a tan, break ground byy early 20 2017. Vartan, neighb orhood gr oups an nd some cit ty neighborhood groups and city officials w ant a to do mor re than rrehash ehash a want more st taale de eveelopment plan. stale development “Our cit ty is seeing gr e eater visibilit tyy, y”” city greater visibility, sa ayys Cit ty C ouncilwoman n Lisa Gillmor says City Councilwoman Gillmor,, who vvoted o oted with her ccolleagues olleeagues to put w rrequest equest ffor or o pr roposals. “This out a ne new proposals. ccould ould b or us to showc o ase our bee a chanc chancee ffor showcase

creativity preserving cr eativitty while w pr eserving this land as a little snapshot lit tttle snapsh hot of our agricultural past.” Last month, developers L ast mon nth, eight de eveelopers submitted empty submit ttted cconcepts oncepts ffor o or the empt ty lot bounded byy W Winchester Boulevard b ounded b iinchester Boule evvard sentinel-straight to one side and sentinelstraight rows rows townhomes other.. While of townhom mes on the other details proposals emain the det taails of o those pr oposals rremain private,, at le least circulated private east one draft cir culated at a neighb neighborhood borrows orhood meeting b orrows Vartan’s gardens ffrom fr ro om V aartan n’s vision: i i edible dibl gar d and dens d orchards alongside affordable or rcchards alo ongside aff ffo ordable housing and public gathering spac spaces. es. Vartan been V aartan has h b een lobbying lobb byying ffor o or this ttype yype inter-generational enclave of inter r--gen nerational urban-ag encla ave better in some fform o orrm or another ffor or the b o etttter partt of a decade. largely par deeccaade. Though his has lar gely been losing battle developers b een a losin ng bat tttle against de eveelopers powers be. Remarkably, and the p ow wers that b e. R eemark kaablyy, setbacks,, he despite cconsiderable on nsiderable setbacks hopeful. Proving rremains emains ho opeful. Pr oving v his faith in the project, moree than $10 $100,000 project, he put up mor 0,000 of his own mone moneyy ffor architectural m o or ar chitectural Win-6. rrenderings enderings of what he ccalls alls W in-6. i optimism belies historyy fraught His optimis sm b elies a histor political with p oliticcaal ccontroversy, ontroveersy, allegations backroom of backr oom m dealings and rretaliatory ettaliator a y Vartan personally litigation that th hat put V aartan p ersonally in crosshairs. Now the cr osshaairs. N ow with an end in sight,

re th han the dra aw wn-out legal the futur future than drawn-out g g of o the rrecent ecent p past. wrangling w up in 2010, cr owding Homes went crowding en spac e. Plans b out most of the op open space. byy ousing and Sant ta Clara Ho Charities Housing Santa Methodist Retirement Reetirement F oundation to Methodist Foundation w-income senior homes build the low low-income alled b were st onomic rrecession ecession and were stalled byy ec economic ateâ€™s di issolution of rredevelopment edeeveelopment the st stateâ€™s dissolution rce of aff ffo orrd dable agenciesâ€”a chief sour source affordable housing funds. fun nds. F inallyy, ďŹ v ve yyears eears later r, the Finally, ďŹ ve later, ark keet has ccome ome o rroaring oaring back. mar housing market â€œTher Thereâ€™s justiďŹ cation ju ustiďŹ ccaation ffor o or this ttype yype of â€œThereâ€™s in nvest e tment now w,â€? sa ayys V ar a taan public investment now, says Vartan lice of N ew Y ork, a p o opular outside A Sli Slice New York, popular local a piz za ch hain he ffounded o ounded after his local pizza chain career at Cisc o br ought him engineeringg career Cisco brought from his nat tivve N ew Y ork Cit o ty to Silic on from native New York City Silicon Vaalleey. â€œIâ€™v ve b een criticized ffor or b o eing to o Valley. â€œIâ€™ve been being too grandiose, bu ut just lo ok at the gr owth grandiose, but look growth fo or thi is ar ea.â€? slated for this area. Vaalleey Fai ir plans to sp end $6 00 Valley Fair spend $600 million on a ne w high-tech parking new garage, theat ter and 150,0 150 000-square-ffoot garage, theater 150,000-square-foot Bloomingdaaleâ€™s. Sant ana R o ow w, acr oss Bloomingdaleâ€™s. Santana Row, across eet fr o the indo om or mall, plans the str street from indoor re offic ce and eexpand xpand x to build mor more officee spac space plus-acrre site of the fformer o ormer into the 11-p 11-plus-acre Century dome dom me theaters Century theaters.. â€œW Weâ€™re ab bout to see an unpr ecedented â€œWeâ€™re about unprecedented exxplosion in n infrastructur explosion infrastructuree and traffic eegion,â€? sa ayys V aartan, who has sp ent as a rregion, says Vartan, spent veral e months pr esenting his the past se several presenting Wiin-6 concept concept e to ccommunity ommunitty gr oups Win-6 groups olicym mak keers. â€œIt mak kees sense to do and p policymakers. makes nno ovvativve her e.â€? something in innovative here. Funding, he rrealizes, ealizes, will b Funding, bee a challenge. In n its ccall all ffor o or ideas ty challenge. ideas,, the cit city encco ouraged creative creativve pr oposals with encouraged proposals lic subsidy y. F or eexample, xxample, limited publ public subsidy. For veeloper ccould ould buy thr reee acr es a de developer three acres fo or mark keett-r -rate homes and use the for market-rate resulting revenue revenue e to pa ay ffor or low-inc o ome resulting pay low-income counterparts t. counterparts. Reecentlyy, Vartan Var a tan ffound ound o od Recently, an agriho agrihood ll in i nativ ive plant l eexpert xp x ert Alrie Al i ally native Middlebrook, o ffounder ounder o of the C aliffo ornia Middlebrook, California Nativve Gar d F den oundation (CNGF). A Native Garden Foundation Att least one de eveeloper, ac cording to plans developer, according submitttted in n rresponse esponse to the cit tyâ€™ y s ccall aall submitted cityâ€™s fo or pr ro oposalls, has identiďŹ ed CNGF as for proposals, otential nonpr n ro oďŹ t par tner ffor o or the ap potential nonproďŹ t partner communitty farm. community â€œW We could coulld actually create create an â€œWe ge her apacit a ty urban villag village heree with the ccapacity produce 50 5 p ercent of the to produce percent developmen e ntâ€™s ffood ood supply y,â€? sa ayys developmentâ€™s supply, says Middlebrook, o who cconverted on nverted a San JJose ose Middlebrook, i Middlebr ook Gar dens, parking lot into Middlebrook Gardens, which she vie vviews ws as a working mo del model fo or the fformer orm o mer B AREC site â€™s not for BAREC site.. â€œThat â€œThatâ€™s farr--ffeetched. If I an nyything, that â€™s the futur e: far-fetched. anything, thatâ€™s future: provvide se ervices to p eople close to to provide services people where they they liv ve.â€? where live.

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heâ€™s willing to mak heâ€™s make ke ame amends, ends, eeven veen with fformer ormer o e p olitic o t caal ffoes. oes. political â€œThe cconditions onditions ha ave changed, c â€? he have sa ayys, â€œso m oach hass changed. I says, myy appr approach think we ccan an use this pr o erty that op property wedged the ccommunity ommunitty apar apartt to bring it gether.â€? back to together. F or 8 0 yyears, eears, scientists and master For 80 gar deners studied agricul lture at the 17gardeners agriculture acr re Ba ay Ar ea R esear e ch and a Extension acre Bay Area Research C enter (B AREC). The ey ccame a up with ame Center (BAREC). They w ayys to tr eat plant diseas ses, to mak ke ways treat diseases, make less-pungent less pungent ccompost ompost an nd ne w varieties and new of tur ey hosted ďŹ eld trips and turf.f. The They disp ensed fr ee gar e. â€œWhen deningg advic dispensed free gardening advice. Iw aas lit tttle, I liv veed down the t str eet and was little, lived street ere with bugs would often go down the there in jars to show the rresearchers, esearrchers,â€? Sant Santaa Clara Cit ty C eeresa Oâ€™N eill ouncilwomaan T City Councilwoman Teresa Oâ€™Neill rrecalls. eccaalls. â€œL ots of p eople wo ould go ther â€œLots people would theree with a leaf fr om their gar rden to ask from garden what â€™s going on with the eir plants aas whatâ€™s their plants.. It w was an incr edible rresource. esource.â€? incredible But in 19 99, 9 the U niv n versit e ty of 1999, University C aliffo ornia, which owned d the land, sold California, it back to the st ate in eexchange xxch hange ffor or a $2 o state iincrease. ease. The million annual funding incr sale to ok the ccommunity ommunitty and eeven veen took high-ranking p olitical lea aders b political leaders byy surprise surprise.. Thensttaate Sen. John John Vasconcellos Vasc a conc o cellos e called called Then-state the pr ocess leading up to o the sale â€œâ€œtruly truly process ab ominableâ€? ffor or o eexcluding xxcludin ng public input. abominableâ€? A yyear ear e later r, the site close ed. It w aasn nâ€™â€™t long later, closed. wasnâ€™t b effo ore the st ate rreneged o its pr omise of eneged on before state promise a pa ay bump b ffor or o the th UC ssystem. yt ystem. W iith the th pay With st ate in ccontrol ontrol and ttalks alks of another sale state in 20 02, a gr oup of cconcerned oncerned e citizens 2002, group fformed ormed a gr o oup ccalled alled Sa ave B AREC group Save BAREC to ttalk alk ab out how to rrevive evviivve the fallow about farmland. The ey w aanted to t k eeep the They wanted keep pr operty op en and publi ic, with at least property open public, par or o agricultural educ ation to partt of it ffor education â€™s histor y. honor the site siteâ€™s history. In 20 05, the cit ty sp entt $11.5 million 2005, city spent on six acr es with plans to o build b elowacres belowmark ket et--rate senior i housin h ingg. SummerHill S ill market-rate housing. Homes b ought the rremaining emaaining 11 acr es bought acres ffor or $32 million, pr o ro omisin ng to set aside promising one acr acree as a public park.. A Ass head of Sa ave BAREC, BAREC, V aartan p titioned ffor o or a eti Save Vartan petitioned rreferendum effeerendum to pr eveent cconstruction o onstruction prevent of mark ket et--rate homes ut lost to market-rate homes,, bu but a $1 million ccampaign ampaign ba ankrolled bankrolled b eveelopers. Sa ave B ARE EC then byy de developers. Save BAREC ďŹ led la aw wsuit challenging the cit tyyâ€™s lawsuit cityâ€™s en nvvironmenttaal rreview, evvieew, which w dela ayeed environmental delayed cconstruction onstruction but ultimately ourt. ultimattely lost in ccourt. aartan n and ccolleagues olleagues SummerHill sued V Vartan Katherine Mathe wson an nd Shar on Mathewson and Sharon McCra ay to rrecoup ecoup some of o the legal ccosts, osts o , McCray though a judge eeventually veentuallly tossed that ccase, ase, to o. too. â€œIt w aas eexhausting, xhaustingg,â€? V a tan sa ar ayys, was Vartan says, rreiterating eiterating that he â€™d rathe er ttalk alk ab out heâ€™d rather about

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SECRET SERV SERVICE VICE Superintendent Jon Gun Gundry ndry defended hiss under-the-radar memo.

Countty Schools CChief County hief Pushes Source Singlee Sour ce CContract ontrract These da days ays y it it’s ’s easier to br break eak the Internet than ha have ave zer zero o pr presence esence on the web web.. But in i an unusual set of circumstances, cir cumstances, JJon on Gundr Gundry, y, Sant Santaa Clara County’s C ountty’ y’s sup superintendent e i t d t off scho erintendent schools, h ols l , has h rrecommended ecommended d a quar quarter-million terr--million dollar mystery ccontract ontract with a m yystery ccompany ompan ny that tracee off eexistence online.. has no trac xxistence online under-the-radar Gundryy In an under r--the-radar memo Gundr placed plac ed on the consent consent ccalendar alendar ffor o or last week’ss Boar Board Education meeting,, week’ d of o Educ ation meeting superintendent the sup erinten ndent rrecommended ecommended a $150,000 $150,0 00 eextension xteension to a ccontract ontract with School Business Service Consultants. Scho ol Busine ess Ser vice C onsultants. No N o rrecord ecord of such s a ccompany ompan ny eexists xxists online, online li , ac according cordiing i to sear search ch h engines i and d a check with the t C California aliffo ornia Secr Secretary etary of State’s St ate’s offic office. e. Gundry’s Gundr y’s rrecommendation e ommendation would ec bring the offic office ce of educ education’s ation’s tot total al ttab ab ffor or o cconsulting onsultting ser services vices with the ccompany—owned ompan ny—ow wned by by a man named Frank Butler Butler—to r— —to a dollar shor shortt of $250,000. $2 50,000. Thee eexact xact dollar amounts of the ccontract, ontractt, and the fact that it w was as a plac placed ed on the consent consent ccalendar, alendarr, raise several se veeral cconcerns. oncern ns. Sincee Octob Sinc October ber 2014, Gundr Gundryy signed off on ttwo w wo sep separate parate agr agreements eements with Butler’ss company—the Butler’ compaan ny— —the ﬁrst ffor or $50,0 o $50,000 00 and the sec second ond d ffor o or $49,9 $49,999. 99. By k keeping eeeping the tot total al of th those ose ttwo wo pacts a dollar w shor shortt of $10 $100,000, 0,0 000, the ccontracts ontracts did not rrequire equire in input nput or appr approval ovval fr from om the

Board Trustees.. Gundr Gundry’s placement Bo oard of Trustees y’s plac em ment new agreement off this ne w ccontract ontract agr eement on the significant, th he cconsent onsent ccalendar alendar a is also signific a ant, approve items ass trustees often appr ove these item ms with t public without bli discussion. di i Gundryy said he dr drew Gundr ew up the single-source sin ngle-source contract contract solely to hire hire cconsultant o onsult ant Mark Skvarna, Sk kvvarna, a rretired etired d superintendent from su uperintendent fr om San Gabriel Valley. Skvarna, Gundryy said, has b been V Va alle a y. Sk kvvarna, Gundr een sifting through also sift fting thr ough past audits while al lso SCCOE’s broken w working to fix the SC COE’s br oken n payroll was rife pa ayyroll ssystem, ystem, which w aas rif fe with h overpayments o verpaayyments last yyear. ear. A call call to the company’s compan nyy’s phone number nu umb ber went to a voicemail voic i email il that h had ha ad no greeting. greeting. Online records records suggest su uggest it shares shares an address address with another an nother ccompany ompany owned b byy Butle Butler, er, Sunrise Su unrise P Petroleum etroleum Inc Inc.. The Secr Secretary ettary off St State’s ate’s website lists Butler as th thee owner ow wner of Sunrise P Petroleum etroleum Inc Inc., ., but bu ut it also notes that the Franchis Franchise se Tax T a Boar ax Board d susp suspended ended his C California aliffo orniia business bu usiness lic license. ense. JJoseph oseph Di Salv Salvo, vo, a b board oard of educ education a ation trustee, tr rustee, said he w was aas una unaware awaare of the ccompany’s o ompan nyy’s history—or history—or lack thereof. thereoff. A After b being eing notified of the plan to eextend x xtend a ccontract ontract with the cconsulting onsultin ng ccompany o ompan ny b byy another $150,0 $150,000, 00, he pulled pu ulled the item fr from om the agenda so it ccan a b an bee discussed b byy the entir entiree b board oard at the th he ne next ext x meeting meeting.—Josh g.—Joosh K Koehn oehn

520 MILLION

Homeless advocates h Homeless have ave long held that getting peop people ple off the streets str eets is not only the humane thing to do, it makes ec economic conomic sense. N Now, ow w, ffor or the first time, a study that bills itself as the most comp comprehensive prehensive of its kind has put a price tag on hom melessness in S anta Clar y: $520 million a year he homelessness Santa Claraa County County: year.. T The estimate comes fr from om a rreport eport titled, ““Home Home N Not ot Found Found: d: T The he Cost of H Homelessness omelessness Silicon Valley,” Tuesday os Angeles-based in S ilicon V alleyy,” , which which was released released T uesday by the LLos Economic E conomic R Roundtable. oundtable. R Researchers esearchers sifted thr through ough 25 million m rrecords ecords relating relating to homelessness 104,206 county rresidents esidents who lapsed into homelessnes ss between 2007 and 2012. They spent $3 billion over those six years on medical and T hey ffound ound that the rregion e egion health mental heal th treatment treatmeent and jail stays. The The study found found that the county spends chronically homeless meless individuals, who about $83,000 a year on each of 2,800 chr onically hom local Silicon Valley cycle in and out of loc al hospitals and jails. S ilicon V allley claims 77,567 ,,567 homeless seventh-highest metro area according people—the seventh-highest count of any metr o ar eaa in the nation, accor ding to onee of the highest rrates a 2014 census, and on ates of unsheltered unsheltered homeless. Someone Someone streets costs average, $62,000 figuree living on the str eets co osts taxpayers, on aver age, $62,0 000 a year; that figur drops they’re dr ops to $20,000 if th ey’re placed in housing.

DA D A CClears lears O Ofﬁcer f fﬁcer in San Jose SState tate Shooting Family of a man shot dead by by San JJose ose State State University University police police have haave spoken sp oken out against a decision d not to charge char ge the officer. officer. Th Santa The S a Clara Sant Cl County Count o y District Di i Attorney’s A ttorney’s Office Office dete determined ermined in a 46-page report report Friday Fridaay that Sgt. Sgt. Michael Santos acted in self defense deffense e when he shot and killed killled 38-year38-yearold Antonio Guzman n Lopez Lopez the morning of Feb. Feb. 21 last lasst year. year. The incident was was caught caught on o video by by police p olice body body ccameras. ameras. The T DA DA rreleased eleased stills of the footage, footage, though the family and authorities authorrities disagree disagree on what h they the h y depict. d i Police P olice say saay Santos and an nd Officer Officer Frits van der Hoek Hoek responded ressponded to a report report of a man armed arm med with a knife. knif fe. Guzman Lopez Lopez was was walking walking with a near the university university campus campus a used cutting ffoot-long oot-long sawblade saaw wblade us sed for for o cut ting drywall, dr ywall, “acting as though tho ough he was was mentally ment ally unstable unstable or intoxicated,” intoxicated,”” according ac cording to the DA. DA. Police P olice say saay they they ordered ordeered Guzman Lopez L opez to drop drop the weapon, weapon, but he charged char ged at the officers, officerss, forcing fo orcing them to use a Taser. didn’t Taaser. When that t didn’t work, Santos shot him m twice twice in the back. An autopsy autopsy later revealed revealed that Guzman-Lopez Guzman-Lopez had h methamphetamine methamphet amine in n his

Laurie an and d Guzman Lopez bloodstreaam at the time of his death bloodstream and that he h had a criminal histor historyy of rresisting esisting arrest, arrrest, assaulting a police police officer officer and domestic domestic violence. violence. But Laurie Lau urie Valdez, Vaaldez, the girlfriend of Guzman n Lopez Lopez and mother of his child, challenges c the assertion assertion that he was was a a threat threat to police police that morning and a says saays y the footage footage supp orts her h case. case. She Sh held h ld a press press supports cconference onffeerence last week to decry decry the D A’s decision. decisiion. She also filed a federal federal e DA’s la aw wsuit against aggainst SJSU in January, January, lawsuit demandin ng unspecified unspecified damages for fo or demanding her partner’s partneer’s death and calling calling the sho oting “unnecessary “ “unnec essary and excessive.” excessive.” shooting — Jeenniffer e W aadsworth —Jennifer Wadsworth

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SILICON SILICON ALLEYS ALLEYS

J-Town Flick Fest

NO N O MAS M A S UVAS U VA V S A documentary about L Larry arrry Itliong’ Itliong’ss (far right) role in th the he Delano Grape Strike of 1965 will screen at the ﬁrst-ever Japantown Festival. s ﬁrst ever Japanto own Film F estival estival.

The Ja Japantown apantown Film mF Festival estival e documentaries, will feature f docum entariess, short ﬁlms, animation sho ort ﬁlms s, anima ation BY B Y GAR GARY Y SINGH

HE FIRST-EVER F JJapantown apa antown Film Festival F esttival will explode thiss weekend, proving institutions collaborate, that if insti itutions collabor ate, sponsors climb cllimb on board and ethnic people of et thnic persuasions harmonize their collective cries, rrallying allying crie es, then a rip-roaring creative nexus nexus of awesomeness Most festival will unfold. unfold. M ost of the festiv al transpires tr anspires at a the Northside Northside Community y Center on Friday night and Saturday Saturday, S y, with the Am JJapanese apanese American merican Museum participating Sunday.. participatin ng on Sunday

A rrefreshing efreshing w wave ave of cr creative eative and d so ocial activit ty seems to b percolatin ng social activity bee percolating in n J-town these h d da ayys, none off which hi h days, lim mits itself to only those of JJapanese apanesee limits de escent. The ffestival’s eestival’s opening opening descent. ni ight gala ho edown sp ectacularr, ffor orr o night hoedown spectacular, eexample, x xample , ffeatures eeatures a scr ano eening of Dela screening Delano M Manongs: F oorrggottteen Heroes Herroes of the Unit teed Forgotten United Fa armworkkeerrs, dir ected b roy, Farmworkers, directed byy Marissa Ar Aroy, w will b who present. bee present. JJust ust 30 minutes long long,, Delano M Manongs tells the stor o or storyy of farm lab labor or rganizer L arry Itliong and a gr oup organizer Larry group off F ilipino farm work keers who help e ed Filipino workers helped in nstigate the legendar pe instigate legendaryy Delano Grap Grape St trike of 19 65,, an eevent veent that essentially essentiaally Strike 1965, le ed to the cr eation of the U n nited Far rm led creation United Farm W ork o keers (UFW W). Workers (UFW). The strik ke has gone down in histo ory strike history ass primarily a Chic ano mo ovement Chicano movement un nder the leadership of C esar Cha avez; under Cesar Chavez;

what gets fforgotten o orrggotttten is the th he rrole ole Filiipinos Filiipinos pla ayeed in the eff ffo ort. Thee cigar-toting cigarr-toting played effort. Itliong seeven e fingers, fingers, Itliong,, who had only seven group of 1,500 1,500 Filipinos Filipinos assembled a group to strik lano grap strikee against the De Delano grapee gr owers, unleashing a ccollaboration ollaboration growers, b ettw ween F ilipinos, Chic canos and between Filipinos, Chicanos other ethnic work keers that th hat sur vivveed for for o workers survived dec ades to ccome. ome. decades film, Aroy Aroy will ttake ak ke part part After the film, in a cconversation on nversation e d and discussion including the legendar plaayywright legendaryy playwright and filmmak keer L uis V aalldez,, who has filmmaker Luis Valdez, alr eady do cumented th he 19 65 strike strik ke already documented the 1965 and UFW fformation o ormation in n his own works works.. F ollowing the cconversation, on nveersaation,, the local local a Following DJ ccollective ollectivve Sonido Cla ash will curate a Clash crossoveer off p erformanc o es wild ethnic crossover performances and sounds Claash sp ecializes sounds.. Sonido Clash specializes in progressive progressivve DJ dance dance nights nights,, which f fuse di i l and d em merging L atin traditional emerging Latin diasp oras with all sor ts of nou uveau e diasporas sorts nouveau electr onic pr escriptionss. It ain’t ain n’’t your your o electronic prescriptions. usual L atin bar gig, gig, believe beliieeve me. me. What’s What’s Latin mor e, tacos tacos and lumpiaa ar more, aree included with yyour o our ticket. tick keet. emainder of the th he ffestival eestival will The rremainder unload a variety varietty of films film ms o ver the over

course of th he week keend. East Side Sushi, a course the weekend. runaaway sm mash at last yyear’s ear’ ear e s Cinequest runaway smash Film F estivval,, tells the story story of a L atina Film Festival, Latina her who runs a ffood ood cart cart single moth mother Oakland d,, while striving to become become in Oakland, cheff— —gradually realizing realizing the a sushi chef—gradually g bat ttles t she needs racial and gender battles age a . The Th he film ’s director, director, Anthony Anthon ny to w wage. film’s Lucero, will willl app ear in p erson ffor or a o Lucero, appear person Q&A afterr the scr eening. screening. For anim mation fans akusha, a For animation fans,, Hib Hibakusha, ected Amerrican shor 2012 American shortt film dir directed by Ste ve N guyyeen and Choz Belen, Belen by Steve Nguyen centered ar ound Kaz Suy yeeishi—a is centered around Suyeishi—a egins woman in her late 50s who b begins eminiscce ab out her earlier yyears ears e to rreminisce about iroshima during the hideous living in Hi Hiroshima omb. Specific Specific aftermath of the atomic b bomb. tion and graphic design 3D animat animation liffe. techniquess bring the stor storyy to life. There’s eeven veen a P acific Islander ttattoo attttoo There’s Pacific SStories, tooriess, showc asing a melange flick, Skin St showcasing ales and d images Several e hot sp ots of ttales images.. Several spots acific ifi ttattooing atttooing at i ccome ome tto lif fe—fr f om off P Pacific life—from Ro otorua in nN ew Z ealand to the first Rotorua New Zealand internation nal ttattoo attttoo cconvention on nveention in international Samo oa,, and also the Hawaiian Haawaaiian Apia,, Samoa, Islands. Skin n St toories cco-producer o-producer Emik ko Islands. Stories Emiko ear ffor or a Q&A ffollowing o o ollowing Omori willl app appear the film. other sp ecial eevent vent e unfolds unffo olds Still ano another special Sundaay at the JJapanese-American apanese-Americ A caan on Sunday Toshi o Washizu u’s film Issei: The Museum. Toshi Washizu’s Fiirrsst Generation, Generaation, w as a originally filmed First was i 19 8 , in 83, i and a d ar ound d Walnut W l Gr G ove, in 1983, around Grove, Califf.,., and w aas shown only ttwice wic w e in in Calif., was 1984 on local local tele evvision b effo ore it w aas 1984 television before was o or 30 3 yyears. eears. The film pr esents buried ffor presents terviews with Walnut Gr ove’s original int interviews Grove’s firstt-genera ation JJapanese—all apanese—all of them first-generation bettween w th he ages of 8 0 and 10 0— between the 80 100— recco ountingg their liv vees and eexperiences xxperiences recounting lives ow wn wor ds--beffor o e, during in their own words--before, th he w aarr. A newly newly rrestored, estored, and after the war. widescreen n,, digital digittaal version version e of the film, widescreen, Englissh narration and subtitles with English subtitles,, sstoryy into the mo dern era. brings the stor modern “W We want want a the JTo own Film Film Festival Festival “We J-Town be par eat tradition of to be partt of the gr great independeent film ffestivals eestivals in the independent valley,” says saayyss Duane K u ubo, one of valley, Kubo, eestivall’s de facto organizers. organizers. the ffestival’s “[Institutio ons lik kee] the C amera “[Institutions like] Camera an nd Cinequest ha ave nurtured nurtured Theaters and have er e y soph histicated indep endent filma vvery sophisticated independent viewing audience. au udience. The valle y’s appetite appetite viewing valley’s fo or film is rreally eally insatiable. insatiable.” for

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Tweetle Dee The normal guys behind weird Twitter BY JOHN FLYNN

“

OBODY should ever listen to anything I say,” says Jon Hendren, a man with 78,000 followers on Twitter under the handle, @fart.

I’m one of those 78,000. For more than a year, I’ve subscribed to Hendren’s tweets. He publishes about ﬁve or six a day, along with a dozen or so replies to other users, covering an absurd range of topics. In easy succession, he’ll praise the comedic gall of David Letterman, then mock Apple Pay, then pitch “Chili Lite” as a new food. He is sincerely ironic, rivetingly trivial and humbly disrespectful. The ﬁrst time I saw him in public, it took me a second to remember the face from his stoic online portrait. The man behind this rollicking virtual presence sat quietly on Caltrain, staring out the window and sipping a dark beer. When he glanced at his phone, it felt both important and completely inconsequential. Offline, Hendren is a tall, but otherwise normal and unassuming human being. He gives no hint of his hyperactivity on social media. He’s the sleepy river above a waterfall. “His Twitter account makes him seem a bit more manic than he really is in person,” says Hendren’s friend, David Thorpe (@arr). “He’s a combination of low-key and giddy. When he starts giggling, he won’t stop.” “The stuff that really makes him laugh is little concepts,” adds Hendren’s long-time friend, boss and landlord, Greg Pollock. Harry Har ry Who

that I would d think up thr throughout oughout the day, daay, because beccause I would write ffor o or SomethingAwful SomethingA Aw wful later that week.” SomethingAwful was SomethingA Aw wful w as an early internet destination deestination with ccontent ontent that smacks smack ks of the humor that Clickhole and a The Onion now dominate. David Thorpe dominate. Da D avvid Thorp pe also contributed contributed d with a music ccolumn olumn named “Y “Your Sucks.” Yo our Band Sucks .” “Back th then, theree w wasn’t hen,, ther asn’t a ton of humor writing w on the internet,”” Thorpe says. Thorpe sa ayys. ““And, And, I’m not going to A overstate it, there’s overstate it t, but I think ther e’s no question (SomethingAwful.com) (S SomethingA Aw wful.com) was It’s was somewhat somewhat w inﬂuential. It ’s also somewhat time.” some what of its time .” The site w was ground as a meeting gr ound ffor or o writers and jokee ar around. d rreaders eaders to jok ound. “Your started “Y Yo our Band d Sucks” st arted as a forum Thorpee a p position fo orum thatt landed Thorp osition as a writer. weree diff different. writer. But,, times wer ffeerent. “People aree used to the Internet “People now n ar being negativity, being a wellspring welllspring of negativit ty,” he says. people weree mor moree saayys. “Back then t p eople wer committed way committtted to their fandoms in a w ay that ccould bee riled up eas easy. ould b y. But still,, to this day, getting daay, I’m m get ttting emails about about an article wrote Tool article that I wr ote on T ool ten yyears eears ago. kidding..” ago. I’m I m nott kidding Neither Hendren Thorpee still Neither Hendr H en nor Thorp work ffor SomethingAwful, or So o omethingA Aw wful,, which broadened scope has br oadened in sc ope as a meeting ground anyone about ground ffor o orr an nyone passionate ab out almost anything. Hendren anything y . But, Hendr en would eeventually from ven ntually shift fr om using his little book putting little black blaack b ook to put ting his half-jokes Twitter, halff-jjokes up u on T w witter, one of the ﬁrst apps to bee mobile optimized. ob “Stuff like lik ke ‘Ass ‘Ass Viper, Viiper,’ like, like, it’s it’s funny, funn ny, but not fun funny nn ny enough to be be a full joke, joke,” he says. saayys. “So instead of ccarrying arrying a book around, text book ar ou und,, I would te xt it to myself Twitter, myself on T w witttter, and then I could could get on m myy laptop look l later and lo ok at all this stuff. like stuff ff. Kinda K like a notebook. notebook.” When Hendr Hendren’s H en’s fformerly ormerly private o musing became public,, he at attracted beccame public tracted

Hendren and distraction when Hendren Thorpe work ed to g gether ffor o or a game Thorpe worked together developing developing ccompany ompan ny named Gaia. “It w was strange job,, that aas sort sort of a st trange job towards was towards the end w aass slowing down quite a bit. So, So, we ended en nded up with a fair amount of fr free goof ee time t to just go of off and b bee idiots, idiots,” says saays y Thorpe. Thorpe. “We “W We would do all these bizarre biizarre things. things. Like, Like, sending Alaska, was di Pitb Pitbull ll to t Al l ka,, that lask th t w aas the th product product of a rreally eally bored bored day daay at work.” Thorpe, was Thorpe, who w as a music writer for fo or the Boston Phoenix Phoenix e at the time, was through press time, w as digging th hrough a pr ess release “nobody release aggregator aggregator tthat hat “nob ody in the world ccared about,” ared ab o ” when he out,” came promotion between came across across a pr om motion b etween Pitbull and Walmart. was Walmarrt. Pitbull w as sponsoring breath sponsoring a ccaffeinated aff ffeein nated br eath strip and he promised promissed to go to the Walmart W l Walmar t lo llocation cation i with wi h the h most likes Facebook. likes on Fac ebook. “This w was as ccompletely ompleetely eexploitable,” xploitable,” Thorpe started Thorpe rrecalls, ecalls, “so we w st arted looking good Walmartt stor stores looking ffor or o go od Walmar W es to send him. I was through was looking looking thr ough the locations Alaska, locations in Ala aska, and when I found Kodiak, fo ound the one on this th his island, K odiak,

They They weren’t weren’t in on it. They They didn’t didn n’t get it. They because They just ffelt eelt obligated b ecau use of all the money money for fo or charity. charitty.” Smash Sm mash Mouth rrepresentatives epresentatives ccontacted ontacteed ffor o or comment byy th this comment did not rrespond espond b his week’s week’s deadline. deadline. Recognizing startlingly Reecognizing the st artlingly personal access byy Twitter, personal ac cess given given b Twit w ttterr, Hendren the site.. Hendren attracted attttracted Thorpe Thorpe to th he site “Once use “Once we ffound ound we ccould o ould us se it primarily to go goof around, of ar ound, instead instead of ‘here’s myy br breakfast,’ that’s ‘here’s m eakfast,’’ that ’s when w it became interesting me,” says became inter esting to me ,” sa ays y Thorpe. “Especially became Thorpe. “Esp ecially when it b eccame part part of the cultural cconversation, onversatio on, and yyou makee fun of ou ccould ould mak celebrities faces, celebrities and bands to their fa aces, digitally saw digitally speaking. speaking. I think JJon on sa aw its potential potential a little little earlier than a lot l of people people did.” did.” provided welcome The app pr ovided a welc omee

I just started laughing. was started laughi ing. It w as so completely completely rremote.” emote.” Thanks in part Hendren’s part to o Hendr en’s viral savvy, storee saavvy v y, the Facebook Facebook k page of the stor blew blew up. up. It currently currently has 37,000 377,,000 likes. likes. The p population Kodiak little opulation of K odiak is a lit tttle over 6,000. Thorpee w was over 6,0 00. Thorp as eeven ven ﬂown up with Pitbull,, who described wh ho he describ ed as “cordial dapper.” “cordial and dapp err.” “Pitbull was Hendren was ccool,” ool,”” Hendr en said. “He was likee ‘w ‘we’re was lik we’re gonna waste anyway, waste a day daay on this an yway, might as well do it in Alaska.’ Alaska.’ But,, the Walmart marketing people weree Walmart mark etingg p eople wer very Theyy rreferred very upset. The efferr e ed to us as ‘anti-establishment,’ ‘anti- establishment,,’’ which if yyou ou can can get Walmart Walmart to o ccall all yyou ou antiestablishment, that’s pretty good.” est ablishment,, that ’s pr etty go od.” Soon, Thorpee w was charge Soon, Thorp a put in char as ge of hiring another writer Gaia’s w ffor o or Gaia a’s

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Pollock is rresponsible Pollock esponsible ffor o or a wif wife, fe, ttwo wo @weedguy420boner, kids and @weedguy42 0boner, an account ac count ffollowed ollowed b o byy 19 19.6k 9.6k p people. eople. jokes trio The jok es that the tr io trickle out 140. characters at a tim time me ha have ave been been umbrella tossed under the wide umbr u ella of “Weird Twitter. Likee an anything “W Weeird T w witttter.” Lik nything ccool, ool, this online ccommunity ommunity is now rrepped epp pped byy hundr hundreds people b eds of p eople who these three insufferable. thr ee guys find insuff ffeerrable. Still,, it is a cconcise oncise description. Their T ccomedy omedy parodies people par odies all the worst p eople on the wonky Internet while ffolding olding o in i wonk ky observations observations and “little “litttle t e cconcepts. oncepts.” “It’s “It ’s a pretty prettty accurate accuratee representation representation myy p personality, of m ersonalitty,” Hendren Hen ndren says. saayys. “In a ways over-the-top, lot of w ayys it’s it’s o verr--the-ttop, but there there there. is a lot of me in ther e. Like, L e, I do listen Lik Taylor night before bed. to T ayylor Swift eevery very ni ght b effor o eb ed.” have sepaarated these The ttweets weets w haave separated social men on the most rrelevant elevaant so cial media operating today, which currently ently site op erating to daay, wh hich curr boasts b oasts 974 9774 million accounts—some accou unts—some of aree inactiv inactive, those ar e, but still. still. “Twitter “T Tw witttter is just a ffeed eeed d of perspectives updates p erspectives that up dattes rreally eally quickly, it’s apparent quickly y, so it ’s rreally eally app parent what’s what’s boring, says Pollock. sorting b oring,” sa ayys P ollock. “And “And A sor ting out what’s boring quickly, what ’s b oring quickly y, is i what rresults esults becoming weirder, faster..” in things b ecoming we irder, faster have And,, things ha ave gotten gottten weird. weird. But, Hendren, Hendren,, the most active actiive member member of the trio, off. trio, was was always alwayys a bit b off ff.. “Jon “J on has the sense off humor of an earth something,” alien who ffell ell e to ear th or something ,” says Thorpe. “He’s funny, sa ayys Thorp e. “He ’s rreally eally funn y, but different way in a ccompletely ompletely diff ffeerent e w ay than anyone I’vee eever He’ll an yone else that I’v ver met. He ’ll that don’t get fixated on things th hat don ’t rreally eally seem funny, funn ny, but through throu ugh force fo orce of will he’ll makee them funn funny.” he ’ll ll mak ny.” Hendren started using Twitter Hendr en st arted usin ng T w witter 2008. back in 20 08. He rregistered egisstered as user number something.” numb er “14 million so omething.” little “I used to ccarry arry around aroun nd a lit tle black book, way day, Hendren b ook,, w ay back in the da d ay,” Hendr en says. wasn’t with sa ayys. “It w asn a ’t filled wit th phone numbers. was half-jokes numb ers. It w aas filled with w half f-jjokes

fo ollowing. Then,, ffor or kicks o egan a following. kicks,, he b began apabilities of th he still to test out the ccapabilities the gestating app.. gestating app “I think I realized, myy go god, realized, ‘Oh m od, this is m myy lif life now,’ Smash fe now w,’ when the Sm mash mouth egg thing o occurred,” says. ccurred,”” he sa ayys. The Smash Mouth egg thing started Hendren started when Hendr en rrealized ealized d he ccould ould interact directly directly with the native Every th San S JJose ose nativ ti e band. b d Ev E ery night, for fo or weeks, weeks, he ttweeted weeted to the band, asking them to meet him m downtown, wher wheree he would pa pay ay the lead singer $20 to eat a bunch of o eggs. was amused, eggs. The band w as not amused d, but lots of p people were. Smash eople wer e. When Sma ash Hendren Mouth challenged Hendr en to rreach each $10,000, began matching $10,000, other users b egan ma atching Hendren’s raised Hendren’s offer. off ffeer. The stunt raise ed $14,000 Hospital. $14,000 ffor or St. JJude’s o ude’s Hospit al. The band Th fundraising f d i i gave gaave the h b ban nd d no choice brought aboard choice and br ought ab oard bleached-tipped chef, Fieri, bleached-tipped chef f, Guy F ierii, who prepared promotion prepared the eggs as a pr omotio on ffor o or the opening Fieri, opening of his rrestaurant. estaurant. F ieri, famously, famouslyy, hates eggs. eggs. “They eggs, “They ended up eating the eg ggs,” Hendren them. Hendren says. saayys. “Well, “W Well, e , most of the em.

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16 TWEETL TWEETLE LE DEE

ROAD R OA D TRIP TR IP The ““anti-establishment” anti-establishment” Dav David vid Thorpe (left) and P Pitbull itbull in i K Kodiak, odiak, Alaska. content staff. content staff ff. Gr ff. Greg eg P Pollock ollo ll ck k had h d just j gotten Literaturee fr from got ttten his masters maasters in Literatur om UC Sant Santaa Cruz, Cru uz, and applied ffor o or the job.. Thorp Thorpee li liked job iked his rresume. esume. “I put ‘I qu quit uit selling weed’’ as an accomplishment Pollock ac complishm ment in ccollege,” ollege,” P ollock says. sa ayys. “So, “So, when wheen I went in ffor o or the interview Dave asked, ‘Can inter view Da ave ask ed, ‘C an yyou ou get us weed?’’ And d I said, ‘N ‘No o I quit. quit.’’ and he said, ‘W ‘Well, Well e , fair enough. enough.’’ The Theyy weree rreally wer eally un unprofessional nproffessional e and looked lo oked hungover.” hungo over.” “Greg “Gr eg is sorta sorrta lik likee the smar smartt adult of the thr three ee of o us us,” ,” Thorp Thorpee sa says. ays y . “He “He’s ’s yyounger ounger than n me me,, but he he’s ’s a family man, a well-educated well- educ e ated man. He He’s ’s lik likee our dad. dad.”” Hendren, Hendr en, Thorp T Thorpee and P Pollock ollock would all eeventually ventually b bee let go fr from om Gaia ffor or o nonnon-Twitter -Tw witttter rreasons. easons. But, Twitter T w witter help helped e them st ed stay ay in touch, eeven ven as Thorp Thorpe pe mo moved ved fr from om San JJose ose to San Franci Francisco. isco. “It’s “It ’s a good good w way ay to mak makee fun of friends when yyou ou don don’t ’t liv livee close together to gether anymore,” an nym ymore,” sa says ays y P Pollock. ollock. “Jon’s “J on’s not gonna g lik likee this this,, but a while ago ago,, he got a rreally eally dumb pair of sho shoes,” es,” Tho Thorpe orpe sa says. ays y . ““And A And Gr Greg eg and I sp spent ent th three hree da days ayys nonnon-stop stop

rroasting o i hi oasting him ab about bout his hi stupid id sho shoes. hoes. And, that’s probably myy fa favorite A nd, that ’s pr obably m avorite th thing hing that happ happened ened on T Twitter.” wit w ter.” soon picturee up up,, ““As As so on as he put that pictur yyou o kne ou knew w it w was happen.” as going to happ en.” Pollock says. theree w was Twitter, P o ck sa ollo ayys. “If ther as no T w wittter, w we we’d ’d just b bee sit sitting ting in our apar apartment ment tm shoes hours.” m making fun of his sho es ffor o or hours s.” Although the theyy ttake ake shots at eac each ch ot other, ther, the they’re y’re b better etter at mo mocking cking th the he self self-important f--important phonies of the T Twitterverse. w witterverse. “Onc “Oncee yyou ou surr surround ound yyourself ourself with w th this his ir irony, on ny, or whate whatever ver yyou ou w want ant to t ccall a it,”” Hendr all Hendren en sa says, ayys, “it b becomes ecomes vvery e y ob er obvious vious who is doing it ffor or o no non-genuine on-genuine rreasons, easons, lik likee brands and p people e eople who ar aree just b being eing asshole assholes.” es.” One of Hendr Hendren’s en’s most not notable ablee cl clashes ashes w was as with Buz Buzzfeed. zffeeed. On Ch Christmas hristmas da day ay 2012,, Hendr Hendren en rretweeted e weeted a ccollection et ollection of whines fr from om childr children en who did not rreceive eceive th the he Apple pr product oduct of their dr dreams. eam ms. Bu Buzzfeed uzzffeeed turned the rretweets etweets into o an ar article, rticle, without cr crediting editing Hendr Hendren. en n. “R “Retweets Reettw weets ar aree trick tricky ky b because ecause yyou ou u ccan’t a ’t rreally an eally own them,” he sa says. ayys. “Bu “But, ut, th the he curation w was aas the work that I di did. id. I mean, m ,I w was aas just la laying ayying ar around ound ffor o orr a

couple of hours sear couple searching. chiing. But,, ther theree was work was done,, w aas an amount of wor rk that w as done and the theyy used it. That That’s ’s kinda shit shitty. tty.” Mat tt Stop era,, the rreporter e orter who ep Matt Stopera, wr ote the “stor y,” still works at wrote “story,” Buz zffeed, e but not b effo ore Hendr en’s Buzzfeed, before Hendren’s ccall-out all- out st arted an in nvestigation into started investigation his work. Stop era wou uld end up Stopera would deleting rroughly oughly half his ar ticles ffor o or articles ccontaining ontaining plagiarized d ccontent. ontent. “I don d ’t ffeel eeell lik ostt th thatt one ,” don’t likee I llo lost one,” Hendr en sa ayys. Hendren says. L ater, he but tted t hea ads with Later, butted heads W eendy’s, after he mo c ed an ck Wendy’s, mocked eexceptionally xceptionally w ack ma arketing wack marketing ccampaign ampaign that had Bo oyz II Men sing Boyz lo ve songs ab out theirr pr etzel buns love about pretzel buns.. W eendy’s then went to oC ontentlyy, a Wendy’s Contently, website that will writee nic nicee things ab out yyour our brand if yyou o pa ou ay them. about pay “Ther wo or thr tthree ee paragraphs “Theree wer weree ttwo ab bout how h gr eat their h i pr p etzels l buns b about great pretzels ar e, and then it showed dm weet, w , lik are, myy ttweet, likee out of the blue theey called called me a blue,, and they notorious brand tr oll,” Hendren H Hendr en says. saayys. troll, Chafing under the unc u ool lab el, uncool label, Hendr en ask ed C onteently if he ccould ould Hendren asked Contently rrespond espond to the mild sl lander. He w as slander. was denied the opp ortunity b ecause he opportunity because wouldn ’t pa ay. wouldn’t pay. But then,, a strange wrinkle o ccurred when W endy e y’s so cial media occurred Wendy’s social manager ttweeted weeted d ab bout ha h avving i about having aT inder cconnection onnection fall fa thr ough Tinder through b ecause her match rrecognized eccognized her because fr om the bat tle with Hendr H en. from battle Hendren. “It made me ffeel eeel bad d,, or ma ayb y e bad, maybe weir d,, that she ffelt elt e wei ird,” he sa ays y . “It’s “It’s weird, weird, says. a learning eexperience. xperience. I don ’t w aant to don’t want hur nyb y ody’s ffeelings. eeelingss. W eell,, an nyybody hurtt an anybody’s Well, anybody who do esn’t deser ve it an nyyw way.” doesn’t deserve anyway. Hendr en’s T wit w ter pr p esence Hendren’s Twitter presence eeventually ventually landed him m a job outside of the writing world. Scriptr S ock, Scriptrock, a softw are ccompany ompan ny de d voted to software devoted stopping cconfiguration onfiguration n drift (s ystem (system failur es that rresult esult fr o up om dates), failures from updates), needed help generatin ng buz ound generating buzzz ar around a rather b oring phrase e. boring phrase. “These guys emailed d me out of the blue and told me ab ou ut a mark eting about marketing pr oblem ar ound this ‘De ‘‘DevOps’ vOps’’ term,”” problem around he sa ayys. “The ed iff I w anted to says. “Theyy ask asked wanted ccome ome in and do their mark m eting. I marketing. w as lik e, ‘‘Alright, Alright, A y’kn now, I’ll just was like, y’know, dr op eeverything verything I’m doing d and ccome ome drop work ffor or yyou.’ o ou.’ ” So vOps?? So,, what is De DevOps? “It t’s just making all yyour o our ner ds ttalk alk to “It’s nerds one another r,” Hendren Hendren says. sayys. “Historic sa ally another, “Historically the ‘De evvs,’ the engineers and the ‘Devs, op erations (Ops) guys don d n’t ’ rreally eally ttalk. alk. operations don’t

So, it So, it’s ’s kind kinda da k keeping eeeping it all in line. line.” website,, Hendr Hendren But, on his website en eexplains, xplains, “D “DevOps DevOps is the most imp ortantt thing of all time important time.. And I am the most m imp ortant De vOps important DevOps Th human. That hat mak es me the most makes imp ortantt p erson of all time .” important person time.” So ead of selling this So,, inste instead milquetoa ast idea,, Hendr en decided to milquetoast Hendren in nvent a meglamaniac m alter ego of a invent D De vOps O Th h hought ht M Master t , a.k.a. k J-Bir JJ-Bird, Bi d, d DevOps Thought Master, a.k.a. Puss on. It ’s a funhouse Pussyy Falc Falcon. It’s mirr or of the t Silic on V alle a y ttypes ypes that mirror Silicon Valley ttake ake themselves themsselves a bit to o seriously y. too seriously. On his p ersonal site en personal site,, Hendr Hendren off ffeers a De evOps ccertification ertification class offers DevOps class,, right b elow w the ttagline, agline, “The below most stunn ning man...b eautiful… stunning man...beautiful… passionate e...perfeect.” passionate...perfect.” In anoth her strange ttwist, wist, other another T witter us w ers ha ave b egun to Twitter users have begun ccompliment omplimen li nt Hendr H d en in i this hi eexact xact Hendren same fformat: o orm mat: a b old declaration, bold ee outlandishly ffollowed ollowed b o byy thr three flat ttering t adjectiv aadjectives. es. Fr om time to flattering From time dren rretweets etweets a ffew. ew. time,, Hend Hendren “It ’s nar c cissistic , but I st arted sear ching “It’s narcissistic, started searching eally ffor or m o n name b ecause it ’s rreally myy own because it’s funn ny when n it happ ens,” Hendr en sa ayys. funny happens, Hendren says. “I’m a giantt idiot,, the smallest stupidest things ente ertain me greatly. greatly. y.” y” entertain But, nott eeveryone veryone has b een been enamor ed d with i h “Silicon “ ili on Valley’s “Silic Valle all y’’s most enamored influentiall thought leader .” leader.” “Ther e’s this ccommunity ommunity of actual “There’s thought le eaders,” Hendr en sa ayys, “and leaders,” Hendren says, one of the em ccame ame up to me and said, them ‘Y Yo ou’re a big b asshole ecause I’v ‘You’re asshole,’,’ b because I’vee b een mo ck king them ffor o or lik e, months been mocking like, months.. F elt pr etty go od ab out that. It w as Felt pretty good about was the right kind k of guy to ccall all me that.”” Ev entuaallyy, Hendr en cconvinced onvinced Eventually, Hendren Scriptr ock k to hir ollock as his Scriptrock hiree P Pollock manager s he wouldn’t wouldn’t ha ave manager,, so have to “handlee the spr eadsheets.” It ’s spreadsheets.” It’s the thir d ccompany ompany wher y’ve third wheree the they’ve work ed together. to ogether. This time their worked go ofing ar round is mor ouraged. goofing around moree enc encouraged. “I’m in the t middle of building the world’ ’s lar gest tr oph hy,” he said. world’s largest trophy,” “The curr e rrecord ent ecord holder is 34 ffeet eeet current 11 inches S I’m doing 35 ffeet. eeet. It ’s inches.. So It’s gonna ruin n their da ay.” day.” The tr op ph hy is par trophy partt of a giv eaaway for for o a website named giveaway C ommand dlinefu.com, which Commandlinefu.com, Hendr en now n administrates Hendren administrates.. The site is dep osito ory ffor or o helpful snipp ets of depository snippets ccode, ode, but, lik vOps, is stiflingly likee De DevOps, technic al and a a viral fac elift fr om technical facelift from “The Inter rnet’s Big Delight ful Bo y” Internet’s Delightful Boy” might help p it achie ve wider fame achieve fame..

SMASHED SM A SH ED E EGGS GGS Jon n Hendren Hendren (right) goaded Steve Harwell Harwell of the band Smash Mouth Mouth into eating a bunch of eggs egg gs for charity. charity y.

more jok more joke-centric, ke-centric, to “dad”” humor riffs riffs.. “Someone “Someon ne told me the BTK killer rread ead an ar article t ticle ab about out weir weird dT Twitter witter w liked Fred and he rreally eallly lik ed Fr ed Delicious Hitler says. (Dildo Hitl ler at the time),”” he sa ayys. madee me rreconsider myy shit “That mad econsider m from weird and kind off get aaway way fr om weir d Twitter jokes per se.” T witter jok w kes p er se .” time,, P Pollock But, at the th he same time ollock is there’s digital glad that th here’s a digit al rrecord ecord of thoughts, aree hi younger his younger thoughts th ht , if his hi kids kid ar curious. eever ver curiou us. “For likee ‘puss ‘pussyy look “F or stuff ff lik look like like a piece (referring rrolled olled up pi iece of ham,’ (r effeerring to wouldn’t say an old ttweet) w weeet) I wouldn ’t sa ay that to myy motherr at Thanksgiving Thanksgiving,,” he sa says. m ayys. would bee ashamed to ha have “But,, I wou uld not b ave myy kid rread Twitter. m ead d that,, in ccontext ontext of T w witttter. They’ll have was The y’ll ha ave an idea of what Dad w aas likee when he was 255 on onwards. lik h w as 2 nwaards.” Twitter “I think T w wittter t is gonna stick around,” says. “It’s likee ar ound,” d ” Hendren Hendr d en sa ayys. “It “I ’s not lik MySpacee o orr Fac Facebook; it’s MySpac ebook; it ’s a unique information, medium to o disseminate inf fo ormation, that’s that ’s not easily e gonna go aaway.” way.” power Despite the t lasting p ower of the app,, and th the trio’s app he trio ’s sizable online presence, pr esence, none n of them ttake ake themselves seriously, themselv ess seriously y, at all. day, we’re ““At At the end e of the da ay, we ’re all sitting sit ting on our o phones shouting nobody,” Hendren platitudes at a nob odyy,” Hendr en says. draw sa ayys. ““And, A And, d you you ccan an dra d aw the h most elaborate elab orate description, d or write a piece, think piec e, but yyou’re ou’re just a guy on yyour our ccouch.” ouch h.” never likee I have “I ne ver ffeel eel e lik haave to say, saay, ‘boy, ‘boy, bad’ today, racism is ba ad’’ to daay,” Pollock Pollock says saayys “Theree ar aree dozens dozens,, in agreement. agreemen nt. “Ther people saying thousands of o p eople all sa ayying thing. the same th hing. It gets lost in the noise.. Y You don’t always have say noise ou don o d ’t alw ays y ha ave to sa ay something,, esp especially isn’t something ecially when it isn ’t anything. adding an nyytthing.” three anyy immediate The thr e lack an ee turn plans to tu rn their online act into anything physically performative. an ything p hysically p erformativ o e. Rather,, the they Rather ey seem to ttweet, weet, just because they likee to ttweet. b ecause the ey lik weet. wife makee me a br breakfast “My wif fe will mak eakfast it’s sandwich fo ffor o or the train, and it ’s just partt of m myy da day,” Pollock says. a par ay,” P ollock sa ayys. “I’ll look bee lik like, look at it and and b e, ‘Man, this is a dopee sandw sandwich. dop wich. I’m gonna put it on Twitter.’ And that’s about There’s T witter.’ An w nd that ’s ab out it. Ther e’s no real real eexpectation xp pectation that other people enjoyy it. I don don’t p eople willl enjo ’t know whyy p people do.” wh eoplee do .” “We’re “W We’re all a very very vvery ery normal,”” Hendren “We’re self-aware. Hendr en says. saayys. “W We’re all self f--aaware. Wee know how absurd is,, and just W h absur d it is horrific is.” how horrifi fic it is .”

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The thir third d head of thee W Weird eeird Twitter Twit w tter t cerberus, Thorp cerberus, Thorpe, e, now works w as a ccontent ontent de developer veloper for fo or another a mobile games ccompany ompan ny after tiring tiiring of the “hot culture” Internett writing writing.. ttake ak ke cultur e” of Interne days pranking And his da ays y of pran nking the seem bee Pitbulls of the world se eem to b close.. U Unlike Hendren, ccoming oming to a close nliike Hendr en, keeps cyberspace moree separate he k eeps cyb erspace mor m from fr om his work. Most off his ccooworkers don’t he’s behind work kers don d ’t know k he h e’s b ehind hi d @ “Fountain,” Marcel arr which uses “F ountain,” a ” Mar cel Duchamp’s opening statement, Duchamp ’s Dada op en ning st atement, proﬁle picture. as the pr oﬁle pictur e. getting don’t want “I’m get ting old. I do on’t w ant to bee as mean to eeveryone time,” b veryon ne all the time ,” don’t want associate he said. “I don ’t w ant to t asso ciate myy pr professional life with being m offeessional lif fe wi ith b eing that from internet.” dude fr et.” om the interne doesn’t think And he do esn’t thin k much of his 18 thousand ffollowers, o ollowers, though he Twitter picture did tempt T wit wi ter with i h a pictur i e off shoee that his ccat a sho at had mangled to achieve milestone.. achie ve the milestone don’t likee I have “I don ’t ffeel eeel lik haave that many, man ny, don’t says. and I don ’t rreally eally ccare, are,” he sa ayys. “There’s people are way “Ther e’s p eople who ar re w ay funnier me,, and ha have than me ave like like a third third of the It’s something bee ffollowers. ollowers o . It ’s not some ething to b seriously, especially ttaken aken that seriously y, esp pecially when any anybody, an ny hack ccomedian, omedian, or hack an ybodyy, have ccan an buy ffollowers. o ollowers. You Yo ou ccould ould ha ave 200,000 tomorrow. 20 0,000 ffollowers o ollowers ll tom morrow w.” Similarly, Pollock Similarly y, P ollock has changed the account, bee tune of his ac count,, which whiich used to b

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CARL YAMADA’S YA AMADA’S BIRTHDAY BIR TH HDAY Thu, 8:30pm m Cafe Stritch, C afe S tritch,, San Jose

promoters, Outside of pr romoters, club owners musicians and the mus icians themselves, hardd pr pressed you’d be har essed to ﬁnd moree someone who wh ho has meant mor Area to the Bay Ar rea jazz scene than CCarl arl YYamada. amada.. “Every jazz gig we comes,” have, he com mes,”” says Maxwell Borkenhagen, director Borkenhagen n, artistic dir ector of CCafe afe SStritch. tritcch. “He is one of our proponents.” biggest pr oponents.” The “Bay Area’s Ambassador”” is Ar ea’s Jazz Ambassador A celebrate, turning 60. TToo celebr ate, SStritch tritch throwing party, is thr owing him h a party y, which performance will ffeature eature a live perf ormance of Davis’’ quadruple platinum Miles Davis masterpiece Kind of Bluee and a free-form jazz free-form jaz zz jam. (NV)

JJACOB ACOB OB SIR SIROF I OF Rooster T T.. Feathers, Sunnyvale 8pm, Thu, 8pm m, $14 Sirof Jacob Sir o decided to be a of before puberty.. A comedian n bef ore he hit puberty Francisco Sirof San Fr anccisco native native, Sir of delivers deadpan riffs on AIDS, rracism acism natural and natur ral disasters. He takes on tamer themes, as well—like marriage riaage to ffellow his mar ellow comedian Sherry Sirof. Sher ry Sir rof. He laments the unfortunate unf ortunaate coincidence of his being child bein ng born on New YYear’s ear ’s effectively futuree Eve, eff ecctively killing all his futur plans. party plan ns. But as he says, “kids selﬁsh.” can be se elﬁsh.”” He wears clearrimmed Buddy B Holly glasses and th h he though he gives i off ff the th geekk vibe, he iss obsessed with boxing sets which set ts him apart on TTwitter. witter. enjoyed He enjoye ed mocking the ““experts” experts” that camee out the woodwork Mayweather-Pacquiao. during Ma ayweather-Pacquiao. (JF)

*fri fr

SA SSAXON, AXON, A RMORED SAINT SAINT ARMORED

VALLEY V ALLLEY BRE BREWS WS

Rocckbarr, San Jose Rockbar, Fri,, 7pm, $25

Mexican Heritage Plaza, San Jose Mexican FFriday, Friday id y, $35

generate TToday, oodday, computers can gener ate all sorts s of tones. But back when all electricity did was power amplifiers, am plifiers, these two bands were we re experts of titanic sounds. Armoured Arm moured Saint was America’s America’s answer Iron ans swer to Ir on Maiden and Judas Priest, screeching Prie est, and their scr eeching wails, head-banging hea ad-banging riffs, and potent drums dru ums exemplify heavy metal. TTopping ooppping the bill, Saxon have been prolific olific since the early ’80s. bee en pr through Thee Brits speed thr ough power ballads adrenalized bal lads grounded grounded by adr enalized bass grooves. bas ss gr ooves. In their prime, they thrilled thr illed the first ever Monsters of Rock Roc ck Festival when they closed with wit th ““And And The Bands Played On,” complete com mplete with a rrollicking ollicking drum soloo and flaming guitar finale. (JF)

Brews The Valley Valley a Brews fundraiser fundraiser to beneﬁtt the New Leaders Council beneﬁ Silicon (NLC) of Silic con Valley Valley (NL C) will feature feature locally crafted aree the loc cally cr afted beers that ar puttingg San Jose on the national puttin craft aft beer cr b map. Sip on a cold one while wh hile learning about how craft cr aft bbeer is nexus for for art, music, conversation conver rsation and mobilization. San craft Jose's burgeoning burgeoning cr aft scene is growing in its iinfancy, nfancyy, but it is gr owing and creative full of cr eative potential. The event ffeatures eatures a panel discussion on "Pushing "Pushi ing the Boundaries of Beer Valley Craft aft Delights.” in the V alley of Cr Jose Liccardo San Jo ose Mayor Sam Liccar do speak Welsh, will sp peak as well as Kim W elsh, Director Deputyy City Dir ector of Economic Development. Develo opment. Cheers! (AB)

oncerts * cconcerts May 29 at RockBar Theater

BRIAN WIL WILSON SON June 18 1 at Mountain Winery

VANS V ANS A W WARPED ARPED T TOUR OUR June ne 20 at SShoreline horeline Amphitheatre Amphitheatre

NICKELBACK NICKELB ACK June une 2244 at Shoreline Shoreline Amphitheatre Amphitheatre

SMASH SMA SH MOUTH June 2244 at Mountain Winery

LADY LAD Y ANTEBELL ANTEBELLUM UM June une 26 at SShoreline horeline Amphitheatr Amphitheatree

T GRA THE GRATEFUL AT TEFUL DEAD June 227-28 7-28 at Levi’s SStadium tadium

THE R ROOTS OOTS June 28 2 at Mountain Winery

BOZZ SCA BO SCAGGS GGS J ly 7 att Mountain July M t i Winery Wi

RUSH R USH July 23 at SSAP AP Center

MORRISSEY MORRIS SEY July 255 at SSJSU JSU Event Center

DARIUS D ARIUS RUCKER RUCKER July uly 31 at SShoreline horeline Amphitheatre Amphitheatre

PIÑATA PROTEST

M MICHAEL MCDONALD August 3 at at Montalvo Arts Center

SSAN AN JOSEE JJAZZ AZZ SUMMER FE FEST ST August ugust 77-9 -9 at a Downtown San Jose

SCRAPER

TOBY T OBY KEITH H

Fri, 9pm, Fr Free ee Cafe C afe Stritch, Stritch, San Jose

Shoreline Amphitheate Shoreline Amphitheater, err, Mountain View Friday, Friday y, 7 PM, $40

Francisco-based San Fr ancisco-based trio Scr SScraper aper psychedelic plays a brand brand of psychede elic queuess punk rrock—taking ock—taking queue from fr om the likes of The SStooges, tooges, Ramones. Agent Orange Orange and The Ram mones. Fuzzy,, lo-ﬁ riffs support th the Fuzzy he Jim Morrison-like Scraper’s Mor rison-like howl of Scr a ’s aper frontman. fr ontman. On the group’s group’s selfs LP, project titled debut LP P, they pr ojecct a happy,, poppy ener energy, happy gy, tempered temppered by a sometimes-sinister undercurrent under current of cynicism. All of together these elements come toge ether to create potent cr eate a timeless and pote ent punk share sound. d Scraper S aper shar Scr h e the th bill b with ith punkss CCafe afe Stritch Stritch rresident esident indie punk Dinners and Rex Goliath. (JE) (JE)

conservative liberal, Whether conser vative or o liber al, from skyy fr om the big city or big sk country, knows country y, Toby Tooby KKeith eith know ws that after a couple shots, wee all have moree in common. Keith kickss a lot mor Keith kick off his "Good TTimes imes andd Pick Up Lines" summer tour at Shor SShoreline eline Friday.. A staple of modern this Friday m country, his country y, Keith Keith is celebrating celebrating a 18th album 35 MPH TTown ow own, and his induction in the Songw Songwriters riters Hall of Fame. It's not all red red Solo cups and cowgirls though. His Hiis lyrics also l feature featur t e controversial contr t oversiial i l social i l commentary. toothy commentary. Keith’s Keith’s too othy grin is still wholesome, but this t small town man isn't afraid afraid too say what he thinks. thinks. (AB)

*sa satt

ZIGGY ZIGG Y MAR MARLEY RLEY & SSTEEL TEEL PUL PULSE SE

THE DE DEVILS V S VIL OF LLOUDUN OUD DUN

CAMS

Sat, 9pm, Fr Free ee Caravan C aravan LLounge, ounge,, San Jose

Opal Nightclub, San n Jose Sat, 9:30pm, $10

The Devils of LLoudun ouddun play technical death metal with a symphonic twist—approaching twist—appr oaching their ffast, ast, brutal arrangements intricate and brut tal ar rangements manner in the same mann ner a conductor approaches orchestra. appr oaches his or rchestra. However,, while th their However heir music may be play, challenging to pla ay, it is not overtly least inaccessible (at le east ffor or those who don’t don ’t mind blast beats). b Songs like Science”” and “Guise of the “Born of Science Deceiver”” pr present grand Deceiver esentt gr and imagery music. along with the mu usic. “Guise Guise of Deceiver,” carries the Deceiver ,”” ffor or example, car ries exotic a mystical and ex otic sound, and “Born of Science” Science” has elements horror of classic hor ror ssoundtracks. oundtracks. The band has an ability a to tell ffantastical antastical storiess in their songs, deserves and that alone de eserves a listen. (JE)

Theree are people Ther are around around 7 million m Area. living in the Bay Ar eaa. Being named the best at aanything nything in this chievement. rregion egion is quite the aachievement. Getting that honor ffour o years our in a rrow—as ow—as CAMS has ffor or his DJ’ing—is nothing short s of a platinum stamp of aapproval. pproval. The rrenowned enowned rrecord ecord spinner played cello in high school s and trained brings his classicallyy tr ained ear the genre. to EDM, a rrarity arity in th he genr e. His bouncy compositions compositions span the spectrum. He can doo the airy tinkling tropical tropical stylee then switch ap and ﬁnish to twerkable heavy tr ttrap with a nostalgic drum m ‘‘n’ n’ bass rreimagining eimagining of the ssoul oul classic “Shout”” by the Isley Brothers. “Shout Brothers. (JF)

August 13 at Mountain Winery

CHRIS IS ISAAK AAK August 14 at Mountain Winery

CHRIS HARD HARDWICK WICK August 15 1 at CCalifornia alifornia Theatr Theatree

SHANIA TW TWAIN WA AIN August A ugust 17 at SSAP AP Center

DIERKSS BENTLE DIERK BENTLEY Y August 21 at Shoreline Shoreline Amphitheatre Amphitheatre

RODGRIGO R O ODGRIGO Y GABRIELA June 28 2 at Mountain Winery

MADONNA October Oc tober 19 at SSAP AP Center music For musi ic updates and contest giveaways, giveaway ys like us on Facebook ys, metrofb.com at metr ofb.com

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ARMORED ARM MORED SSAINT, AINT, SSAXON AXON

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metroactive ARTS

Shattering Expectations LIVING L I V ING IN IN A GLASS GL A SS HOUSE HOUSE This p piece ffr from rom the San JJose Institute off Co Contemporary ontemporary p y Art,, serves as a metaphor m p for issues, and directly. issuess, such su uch as rape, domestic abuse an nd miscarriage—topics that many m fear to address directly y.

‘‘A A Fragile Frag gile N Narrative’ arrative’ proves that a glass than gla ass is more tha n decor BY B Y GAR GARY Y SINGH

LASS S ART ART RA RARELY REL LY gets t its due, d in comparison fiber, ceramics, to fiber fi r, cer amics, clay sculptural and other sculptur al methods.. M Most methods ost of the time, relegated glass is rele egated to utilitarian contexts orr decorative decorative shlock, which which is why several several arround town have galleries around cur ated glass-themed gla ass-themed shows curated in conjunction conjunction with the Glass Art Society So ociety Conference hitting town tow wn in a few weeks. weeks. Everyone involved—both involved—both at the conference confere ence and gallery levels—is trying t to shatter the idea that glass glass is simply decor decor..

Att the San JJose A ose Institute of C ontemporary Ar t, ffor o or inst ance, Contemporary Art, instance, ““A A Fragile Narrativ e” b assandrra Narrative” byy C Cassandra Straubing moving St traubing is a mo ving eexploration, xploration n, levels, incorporating on n multiple le vels, inc orporating glass gl lass with other sculptural and elements.. Straubing cconceptual o eptual elements onc employs specific glass-forming em mploys sp ecific glass-f fo orming techniques blowing,, hot hot-te echniques such as blowing sculpting create sc culpting and ccasting asting to cr eate working-class tools w workingclass garments and to olss blue-collar Ass a off the blue - collar eexperience. xperience. A whole,, the show sheds light on iss issues w whole sues byy migrant workers, ffaced fa aced db i work kers, single i l laborers. m mothers and domestic lab orers. “Fragile”” pie piece The titles of each “Fragile ce hook observer h ook the obser ver right aaway. way. For powerful F o eexample, or xample, the most p owerful w work ccomes omes at us with this title: Theree w was cradle T Ther as a quiet stillness; her crad dle unfilled; move empty un nfilled; unable ttoo mo ve on. An em pty

rocking chair sits in th rocking the he middle of surrounded byy br broken the rroom, oom, surr ounded db oken eggs,, all signif signifying glass eggs fyyin ng ffertility, eertility, miscarriage domestic abuse.. Y You misc arriage and dome estic abuse ou o may choose whichever subject—or ma ay cho ose whiche ver e subject — or walk upon. eggshell—to w alk up o Straubing on. been project has b een working on the pr oject ffor o or the 10 yyears, ears, but this is th he first time a piece has been f ll rrealized fully ealized li d piec i e ha h as b een shown h anywhere. an ywhere. “I’vee b been meditative “I’v een in this medit m ative process glass-blowing pr ocess of glass-blowin ng these out the eggshells and ttalking alking ab aabout storytelling women’s stor ytelling of women n’s issues of miscarriage rapee and domestic misc arriage and rap violence—things aree not violenc e—things thatt ar about,” Straubing says. often ttalked alked ab out,”” St traubing sa ayys. aree k kept ept quiet and that “Things that ar keep ourselves because it’s we k eep to ourselv es b ecause it ’s guiltyy either embarrassing or o we ffeel eel e guilt sad.”” or vvery ery sad. Sincee the br broken aree oken eeggshells Sinc ggshells ar sitting galleryy flo floor sit ting on the galler fl or and not off, aree wide op open rroped oped off ff,, the eggs ar en ffor or o anyone accidentally an yone to ac cidentallyy step on. JJust ust people aree cconditioned on as most p eople ar nditioned to matter weep such subject mat ter under the ssweep m

not about rug and no ot ttalk alk ab out it, museum patrons bee appr apprehensive about patr ons will w b ehensive ab out walking physical eggshells.. w alking on n the ph hysic y al eggshells sense, ingenious.. In that sen nse, the work is ingenious Viewers are invited V iiewers ar re in vited to see something clearly broken, that is clea arly br oken, but not eexplicitly xplicitly in iinvited vited to interact with it—just society it —just j as so ciety is cconditioned onditioned to ignoree wo women’s likee domestic ignor omen’s issues lik miscarriage. abuse or misc m arriage. Another display Anothe er work on displa ay ffeatures eeatures large hot-sculpted glass needles lar ge hot -sculpted s leaning up p against one ccorner orner of the gallery. Red thread from galler y. R eed thr ead runs fr om the floor eeyes yes of thee needles down to the flo or bottoms and then along a the b ottttoms of the walls. w alls. Other Other works ffeature eeature similarly glass-sculpted shirts, glasssculp pted jeans or shir ts, emblematic worker emblemat tic of the migrant work er With eexperience. xperience. W iith each work in the show,, the narrativ narrativee title op opens show ens up mystery the m ysterry right aaway. way. In this ccase, ase, They stood graceful, awaiting The ey st tood silent and grac eful, aw aiting news provides entryy p point the ne ws p rovides an entr oint from which observer weave fr om whic ch the obser ver ccan an wea ave way narrative. his or her w ay into the narrativ e. off the things these titles do “One o theyy sug suggest things,, but the theyy don don’t is the ggest things ’t givee yyou the answer,” says. giv ou th he ans wer,” Straubing sa ayys. theyy lleave open “Or the eaave enough op en to the viewer viewer vie wer so that t the vie wer ccan an ccome ome own story.” to their ow wn cconclusion onclusion of the stor y.” macro level, On a macr m o le vel, ““A A Fragile Narrative” shatter Narrativ e” helps to shat ter the that artt is mer meree illusion th hat glass ar decoration, utilityy or plain, massdec oration n, utilit produced ornamentation. Att pr oduced ornament ation. A the same time ttime,, the show builds multilayered narratives around multila ayerred narrativ es ar ound the ignored people settled ignor ed p e eople who built or set tled California. C aliffo orniaa. “It’s people don’t “It ’s thee p eople we often don ’t givee rrecognition to,” says. giv ecognition g to ,” Straubing sa ayys. “Especially Bay Area, we’re “Esp eciallyy in the Ba ay Ar ea, we ’re Silicon Valley, Google known ffor or or Silic on V alle a y, Go ogle people, CEOs and vvery ery well-known well known p eople, likee Ste Steve moree lik ve JJobs, obs, but I’m mor interested about inter ested in ttalking alking ab out the people who’ve p eople wh ho’ve had just as much of influence area an influen nce in this ar ea but who don’t have name,, or just ha have don ’t ha ave a name ave a number. have overall numb er. They T y just ha The ave the o verall worker.” mark of a migrant farm work er.” free opening The eexhibit’s xh hibit’s fr ee op ening bee held Ma May from rreception eception will b ay 31 fr om 4pm. 1pm to 4p pm.

TTHRU HRU SEPT

Free Fr ee

A FRA FRAGILE GILE NARRA TIVE NARRATIVE San Jose Institute of Contemporary sjica.orgg Contempor ary Art, sjica.or

SoFA District (and beyond) on the First Friday of the month.

Morgan Chivers

JUNE 5 & 6 ART WALK 6pm–12am

Anno Domini //the second coming of Art & Design

Phantom Galleries at Pho69 Restaurant

WORKS San José

366 So. 1st St.

321 So. 1st St

365 So. Market St.

On view: SPECTRUM an exploration of the never ending possibilities of an amazing material. The 50+ glass artists represented in this show utilize a wide variety of processes to create the work presented in the gallery.With high caliber skillfulness, these featured artists are able to mold an everyday material into fantastic visual delights. Whether it is traditional glassblowing, flameworking, casting, alternative print processes, repurposed found objects, or a combination of all of the above, this show illustrates a small slice of how artists are using this amazing material as an expression of their creative vision. This exhibition coincides with the Glass Art Society’s 44th Annual Glass Conference to be held in San Jose June 5–7th.

“Star-Crossed Lovers” an exhibition celebrating the work of San Jose State University MFA graduates: Devon McKnight, Lindsay Montgomery, and Scotty Gorham. The work of these three artists interact with the lively and hip downtown Pho restaurant, exploring themes of tragic destinies and doomed lovers.

Enlightened Glass Sculptures that incorporate light sources including neon, plasma, LED, incandescent, and laser, to illuminate and enhance glass and related media. Presented in collaboration with Glass Art Society and their San José conference, the exhibit will include 21 artists who explore intersections of art, glass, and light technologies.

Phantom Galleries hosts artistic and creative exhibitions and installations in alternative spaces giving more artists the opportunity to share their work and to connect with the community in daily life situations whether it be in cafés, restaurants, outdoor murals or neighborhood utility boxes.

Additional Participating Venues:

art by Candice Gawne

Art Ark Gallery 1035 So. 6th St.

Higher Fire Clayspace–499 S. Market St. MACLA–510 S. 1st St. Caffé Frascati–315 S. 1st St. Cafe Stritch–374 S. 1st St. The Craftsman–399 S. 1st St. Downtown Yoga Shala–450 S. 1st St. Psycho Donuts–288 S. 2nd St. South First Billiards–420 S. 1st St. Studio Climbing Gym–396 S. 1st St. TechShop SJ–300 S. 2nd St. Vyne Bistro–110 Paseo de San Antonio

Opening Reception: Surface Matters SJSU MFA Graduate Exhibition An invitational exhibition exploring various mark making processes as they apply to glass and other media.

First Friday June 5th & Saturday June 6th 6pm–Midnight in the SoFA District

Participating Artists: Elizabeth Strickland, David Ture Gustafson, Ian Bassett, Cody Nicely, Mary Catherine Richardson, Brennan Kasperzak, Ali VandeGrift, & Melinda Moody

Focused on emerging and present subcultures thriving in our region, SubZERO is a DIY, artistically bent, hi/lo-techno mashup where street meets geek. Come out either night (or both!) and enjoy open galleries, 100+ artists, performers, indie creative businesses and live bands on three stages celebrating the creative spirit! Visit www.SubZEROFestival.com for more info.

“Red Sphere” by Brennan Kasperzak & Ali VandeGrift

get it in your

like us

ArtwalkSJ

@ArtwalkSJ

visit www.SouthFirstFridays.com or call 408-271-5155 for more info

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South FIRST FRIDAYS an eclectic evening of arts and culture in downtown San Jose’s

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ARTS TS metroactive metr oactivve AR

NOW ACCEPTING SPEAKER & SESSION PROPOSALS EARLY ADOPTER TICKETS NOW ON SALE

*stage

shifty pr proprietors. oprietors. Thru Jun 6. Pavilion. Clara. $16. Hall P avilion. Santa Clar a.

EXIT,, PURSUED EXIT PURSUED B BY Y A BEA BEAR AR

UNLACED, UNLA CED, A D DANCE ANCE SERIE SERIESS

TToo teach her abusive husband husband straps a lesson, Nan str aps him to a chair as she rreenacts eenacts their theiir troubled tr oubled past with the help of stripper.. Then Then, a friend and a stripper n, ffor or the ﬁnale, she’ll she’ll slather him honey, in honey y, and rrelease elease a bearr 14-- Jun 14. into the rroom. oom May 14 oom. 14 $17-$32. Theaterr $17 -$32. City Lights Theate Company.. San Jose. Company

CHINGLISH Daniel, an American busine business ss make man, heads to China to mak ke a correctly translating ffortune ortune on cor rectly tr anslating signs from from Mandarin to arrives English, but when he ar rivess culture, he ﬁnds that language, cul t e, tur lost and love ends up getting lo st in the translation. translation. Jun 13-28. 13-28 8. $17-$42. Palo Alto $17 -$42 $42. P alo Al to Players. Players Palo Alto P alo Al to

URINETOWN URINET OWN

SILICON VALLEY’S MUSIC & TECHNOLOGY FESTIVAL OCTOBER 8-10, 2015 CALIFORNIA THEATER SOFA DISTRICT SAN JOSE, CA

CREATIVE CONVERGENCE SILICON VALLEY

This musical with the eyegrabbing gr abbing title took over Broadway Br oadway in 2011. The modern modeern classic enters a laughably wheree water is ffamiliar amiliar world wher scarce toilets so scar ce that private toilet ts aree banned, opening the do door ar oor heroo to rise up ffor or an unlikely her u rights. ffor or all of our number 1 right ts. 28-June 27.. $18 Bus May 28 28June 27 $18-$28 $28 B us Theater.. LLos Altos Barn Theater os Al tos Stage Stagge Company.. LLos Altos. Company os Al tos.

This dance display brings to the fforefront orefront the massive talents of Helen Pickett, Michael Smith, Adam Hougland in this world premiere buffet. pr emiere of a ballet buff et. $23-$71. $23 -$71. Thru Jun 6. Smuin Ballet. Mountain View Center ffor or Performing Performing Arts.

*concerts *c oncerts DAYDREAM D AY YDREAM NA NATION ATION T San P Pedro edro Squar Squaree Market hosts its monthly last Saturday, alternative Satur dayy, al ternative concert. Free. Fr ee. San Pedro Pedro Square Square Market. San Jose.

MUSIC A AT T THE MARKET A hotbed h tb d off live li jazz j talent, t l t organized or ganized by San Jose Jazz. Pedro Every Fri, 77-9pm. -9pm. San P edro Squaree Market, San Jose. Squar

OFF THE GRID A rrotating otating cast of ffood ood trucks trucks characterize and music acts char acterize Free this weekly event. Sat. Fr ee Computer History Museum. View.. Mountain View

*art art

More More listings:

METROACTIVE.COM METR OACTIVE.COM SSAN AN JOSE MUSEUM OF ART ART “Postdate Photogr “Postdate Photography aphy and Inherited History in India,” Thru August 2nd. “City Limits,, City Life” Lif e” Thru Jun 14.. “Maker Space” Space” 17. thru Jan 17 7. TTue-Sun, ue-Sun, u , 11am-5pm, closed Mon. San Jose.

SAN JOSE MUSEUM OF SAN QUILTS TEXTILESS QUIL TS & TEXTILE ““A A Common Thr Thread: ead:: SStitching titching curated ” guest cur ated by Susan O’Malley. “Kawandi O’Malley y. Thru July 5. “K awandi Adventure” Quilts Adventur e” Quil ts by Margaret Margaret Fabrizio. Thru July 5.. “Bedouin from TTextiles extiles e fr om the Collection of Robert and Joy TTotah ootah Hilden. Thru July 5. San Jose.

TRITON TRIT ON MUSEUM OF ART ART “Current Images CCalling “Current alling on SStories tories and Legend” by Ron Guzman Thru July 8. Clara. Santa Clar a.

GALLERIES ART AR T BOUTIKI Monthly Midtown Beat Show Show.. San Jose.

HIGHER FIRE CLA CLAYSPACE AYSPACE First Fridays ffeature eature new demonstrations, artwork, demonstr ations, and conversations with artists. San Jose.

MONTALVO MONT ALVO AR ARTS TS CENTER

MUSEUMS

“P “Possibilities Possibilities of Paper” Paper ” LLucas ucas Artist Fellows contribute 40 works. Saratoga. work s. Thu May 31. Sar atoga.

ANGELSS IN AMERICA ANGEL

CANTOR CANT OR AR ARTS TS CENTER

TTony oony Kushner's Kushner's pr provocative ovocative drama dr ama tackles identity, identityy, sex, politics, rreligion, eligion, and rrace ace in this late 20th century masterpiece set against thee backdrop $28black backdr op of AIDS. $28 821-Jun $32. May 21Jun 8. LLohman ohman Theatree at Foothill College. LLos Theatr os Altos Al tos Hills.

PALO P ALO AL ALTO TO AR ART T CENTER

“Promised Land” Works “Promised Works by Lawrence. Jacob Lawr ence. Thru August 3. “Pop “Pop Art from from the SFMOMA eaturing Anderson Collection” Collection” ffeaturing workss by Warhol, work Warhol, Johns, Lichtenstein, and others. Thru Oct 26. Stanford. Stanford.

“YYouth “Youth o Art and CCultural ultural workss KKaleidoscope.” aleidoscope.” Diverse work show the talents of the area’s area’s children. Palo Alto. childr en. Thru May 31. P alo Al to.

ARCADIA AR CADIA The third third chapter in Braverman's Br averman's “stage noir noir”” tril trilogy ogy featuring private featuring the gin-soaked priv vate eye, Frankie Frankie Payne, Payne, ﬁnds us rooting rooting for for something that has long eluded Fr Frankie ankie as she shhe solves mysteries of crime: thee mystery of love.. But, in harm's harm''s way once again, will she solvee the mystery in time? Jun 1919-Jul J Jul 12. $10-$35. The Pear Pear Avenue Avenuee Theatre. Theatre. Mountain View. View w.

YOU CAN’T GET THERE YOU FROM FR OM HERE A gossip reporter reporter starts on an it’s expose of a B&B that get it ’ ’s from strategically customers fr om a str ategicaally placed pothole and ends upp the ffalling alling in love with one of th he

CHILDREN’S DISC DISCOVERY OVERY MUSEUM

SEEING THING THINGSS GALLERY GALLER RY “Blood SSweat weat Teal” Teeal” Shark Sharkss inspired inspir ed Art. San Jose

SOUTH FIR FIRST ST BILLIARDS

“Voyage to Vietnam” “Voyage Vietnam” The beauty, beauty y, sights, and sounds presented of this country pr esented through thr ough the lens of the TTet et e Festival. San Jose.

"Art Lif "Art Lifer" er" by Alfr Alfredo edo Reyes and from Debbie Doherty with music fr om DJ Mystik Mike. “Assemble!” “Assemble!”” a show.. Works MESHcollective show Works by various artists.. San Jose.

EUPHRAT EUPHRA AT MUSEUM

TECHSHOP TE CHSHOP SAN SAN JOSE

Various art and photogr Various photography aphy created cr eated by students at De Anza College. CCupertino. upertino.

Daily Classes off offered ered on Art and TTechnology. echnology e . San Jose.

LLOS OS GA GATOS ATOS CCOMPANY OMPANY

Pieces fr from om Beneﬁt Art A ti San Auction. S Jose. J

“Zulugr “Zulugrass “Z l ass JJewelry l G Gallery”, ll ”, ffeaturing eaturing the colorful clothing and ornaments adorned by the Great eat Rift Maasai tribe of the Gr Valley V alley of KKenya enya and Tanzania. Taanzania. “Woodcarvings “W oodcarvings of Val Val Gardena, Gardena, Italy,” handcrafted Italy y,,” ffeaturing eaturing handcr afted woodcarving ﬁgures. woodcar ving ﬁgur es.

WORKS W ORKS SSAN AN JOSE

ZERO ZER O 1 GARA GARAGE GE "Origins Of Lif Life" e" by Adam Br Brown own Berenstein and Robert Root Ber enstein combines art and science in an investigation of some inﬂuential U of Chicago experiments in the 1950s. Thru Mar 27. 277. San Jose.

metroactive FILM

CRYSTAL CRY STA L PALACE PA L ACE ‘T ‘Tomorrowland’ Tomorrowland o ’ has serious gir girll power and some entertainin entertaining g set pieces pieces, s, optimism Venture Bros.’ but its techno optimi ism may send you running for a rewatch of ‘The V enture e Bro os.’

Though full fulll of naive Disne Disney ey moralising, ‘Tomorrowland’ ‘‘Tomorrow To wland’ is still good, goo od, clean fun BY B Y RICHARD V VON ON BUSACK BUSACK

HERE A ARE RE TW T TWO O wolves Brad Bird’ss fighting in Br B ad Bird’ Tomorrowland—inside T omorrowla o and—inside the movie’s movie’s premise, I mean, not actually on o screen. Which wolf wins? The T script haggard includes the haggar rd anecdote named “Hope” of the wolves name ed “H ope” “Fear,” putatively and “F Fearr,,” putative ely told by a wise old Cherokee but b in truth Rev.. Billy Graham. cooked up by Rev B Gr aham. Bird Bir d is trying trying to sa say ay something s her here. e. tricky structure, directThe trick ky disjointed str ructure, dir ectto-camera French to -camera address, address, and a ffew ew Fr ench New devices viices (a pan back N ew Wave Waave ccamera amera de between figures) and fforth o orth b ettw ween ttalking alkiing figur es)

demonstrattes that Bir demonstrates Bird d intends a lesson. It’s serious lesso on. It ’s a ccommentary ommentary ave of of futur ffuture t ep essimism i i Bir Bi d on a w wave pessimism Bird blighting future. ffeels eeels is bligh hting the futur e. Still, the Office” wolf named d “Box O ffice” snaps at throat the thr oat of o the wolf named “Deep Meaning..” Meaning Tomorrowland was T omorr o ow wland w aas made in honor Disneyland of the Disn eyland domain, and apparently scenes ently had a ffew appar ew sc enes shot there. star George Clooney ther e. Its st a is Geor ar ge Clo oney as today, whiskery Frank: to daay, a rreclusive, eclusive, whisk keery inventor, boy in nventor, yyesterday, e daay, a b ester oy genius who travelled interdimensional tra aveelled to o an inter dimensional the boat “It’s rrealm ealm via th he b oat in the “It ’s a Small World” W o orld” ride. ridee. Frank is rrecalled ecalled to that childhood byy the arrival of a childho od rrealm ealm b smartt yyoung Casey Newton (Britt smar oun o ng girl, C asey N ewton (Brit tt Robertson), accented R o obertson), and her British ac cented travelling Athena (Raffey tra aveelling ccompanion o ompanion A tthena (Raff ffeey Cassidy, who gives joyous C assidyy, wh ho giv es a jo oyous sense of

beyond Frank wisdom b eyo ond her yyears). eears). Fran nk knew and lo loved when kne w Athena Athena t veed her whe en he was animatronic” w aas a boy. boy. ““Audio Audio animatr onic” death d uncanny smiles—this rrobots obots with unc ann ny smiles—th his may joke about Disneyland’s ma ay be be a jok ke ab out Disne yland d’s docents—are trio; do cents—are in pursuit of the tr rio; killbots orders the killb ots work under or ders of o the new dictator ne w dict ator of that futuristic rrealm, eealm ealm, that one Governor Goveernor Nix. Nixon, is tha at yyou? ou? o Theree ar aree only so man many ways Ther ny w ayys yyou ou city ccan an animate aerial shots of a cit ty of future, from POV. the futur e, as seen fr om a ﬂying PO V. star Guardians After the st ar city citty of Guar rddians off the Galaxy Hero wowGalax xy and Big Her ro Six, Six, the wow wshort. Theree ar aree no novelties: ffodder odder falls shor t. Ther ovelties: e futuree cit city, gravity pools have in the futur ty, gra avvitty p ools ha h ave given way anti-gravity pools, wheree giv en w ay to anti-gra avvitty p ools, wher w divers jackknives. high div vers e do Escherian jackkni ivvees. any chrononaut movie Still, almost an ny chr ononaut mo ovie gives pleasure. steampunk giv es me pleasur e. The steampun nk unfolding Eiffel Tower chapter unf fo olding at the Eiff ffeel T ower o does ray battle has charm, as do es a death ra ay bat b ttle t merch in a ccollectable ollectable shot, lined with mer m ch aree souvenirs earlier that ar sou uvenirs from from Bird’s Bird’s ea arlier ﬁlms such as The Iron Irroon Giant and The Incredibles. Incr reedibles.

130 TTOMORROWLAND OMOR RO WLAND MIN PG

Opens valley valleywide ywide

27 MAY M AY 27-JUNE 27-J U N E 2, 2015 | me metrosiliconvalley.com etrosiliconvalley.com | sanjose sanjose.com .com | metr metroactive.com oactive.com

Future Imperfect

fret about pedophiliac Some fr et ab out a p edophiliac tendencyy in this mo movie. Perhaps ovvie. P erhaps p between the rrelationship elationship b ettw ween the eever ver e Athena yyouthful o outhful A tthena and d the aged Frank inversion Peter is simply an in nversion n of the P eter Pan-Wendy love affair, lust-free P an--Wendy e lo ove affai ir, lust t--free and tragic.. The w way never moved tragic ay Frank k ne ver e mo veed on from childhood sadness species fr om childho od sadn ness is a sp ecies of happened Humbert Humbert what happ ened to Humb H ert Humb ert when he lost his firstt L Lenore enore to Corfu—it’s literaryy kind ttyphus yyphus in C orfu—it’s a literar of disapp disappointment, the ointment, th he idea of a man whose muse has left him. Tomorrowland’s power T omorr o roowland’s girll p ower overcomes that we’ve o ver e comes the fact th hat we ’ve seen this futuree b before. kind of futur effor o e. Which brings wolves—the us back to the wolv ess—the one that wins is the one that yyou ou ffeed. o eeed. But don’t wolves themselves? Bird don ’t wolv vees ffeed eeed the emselvvees? Bir d throws Meaning thr ows the Wolf Wo olf of Deep D T-bone. Tomorrowland sappy aT -b - one. T oomorrowlaand ends sapp py obvious—an endorsement and ob bvvious—an end dorsement of powers positive ositivve thinking the p owers of p that’s bad that ’s as thick as a ba ad TED ttalk. alk. ultimately, Tomorrowland ((And And ultimately y, T om omorrroowland messenger of ccouncils ouncils killing the m news.) who wondered bad ne ws.) Those wh ho wonder ed about Bird’s Ayn Rand-fancying ab out Bir d’s A yyn Ran nd-fancying observe tendencies ccan an obser ve that this movie’s Tomorrowland placee mo ovvie’s T omorrowlan o nd is a plac wheree think thinkers from wher ers go to o get aaway way fr om government. Isn’t likee Galt Galt’s the go overnment. Isn ’t that lik ’s Gulch? Required Tomorrowland are R equir e ed after T om omorrroowland ar re palate-cleansing palate -cleansing rrewatches ewatches a of the statement ultimate st atement of o rretro-future etro-future disappointment. disapp ointment. That’s Thaat’s the saga of boy adventurer Dr.. “R “Rusty” fformer ormer b o oy adv enturrer Dr Rust u y” Venture, V entur e e, running hiss family business ground. Over right into the gr ound d. Ov veer the five seasons, Adult ccourse ourse of fiv ve seasons s, the A dult Swim Venture Bros., ccartoon, artoon, The V eenturre Br B roos., ccontrasts ontrasts 1960s techno-optimism present19 60s techno -optimiism with pr esentday dismay. begins easyy da ay disma ay. What b e egins as an eas Johnny Quest,, ccancelled riff on J ohnny o Quest ancelled 50 spring,, eevolves yyears eears ago this spring vo olves into a Pynchon-likee satir satiree of Pynchon-lik o black ops and society-wide arrested development. so cietty--wide arr ested de velopment. e puree spirit her heree is the deadly The one pur h Brock Samson (voiced yyet eet soulful Br ock Sam mson (v oiced heartening Wayne with hear tening JJohn ohn n Wa ayne y ccalm alm byy P Patrick Warburton). Even Brock b atrick Warbur to on). Ev veen Br ock is frozen likely freeze point fr ozen in time; lik elyy his fr eeze p oint was Mar.. 28, 1973, thee rrelease Led w aas Mar elease of L ed Zepplin’s Holy. Z epplin’s “Houses of the Holy y.” How survive? Tune will this lone wolf su urvivve? e T une in and find out. out

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Now No ow Pla Playing yyingg

REVIEW

NO NO O

BLOODTHIRSTY BEAVERS So-bad-it’s—well, it’s still bad. But in hilarious way: ‘Zombeavers.’

Gnaws CANADIANS MAY feel this matter keenly, but some consider beavers the world’s most boring animal. Boring is relative. I’d personally consider Michelle Rodriguez scowling at flying automobiles boring, as opposed to a real favorite, the dam-building extravaganza Beavers (1988) originally filmed in IMAX back when Christopher Nolan was but an ambitious film student. Beavers is a hypnotically relaxing film, and its waddling stars never fail to induce zen-like calm. Now comes ex-comedy writer Jordan Rubin’s answer to that documentary: Zombeavers. It asks an important question. Who are the real monsters: are they rabid stop-motion zombie beaver puppets whose very bite causes horrific transformation? Or is it we, the humans? Likely it’s the latter—as a character here muses, “They’re monogamous.” “Not like us…” replies his sad girlfriend. It begins with comedian Bill Burr giving five hilarious minutes as an idiot truck driver trying to boggle his buddy into homosexual panic, right before they accidentally dump toxic waste on a beaver lodge. Soon, three painfully thin floozies (Lexi Atkins, Rachel Melvin and Cortney Palm) arrive at a nearby cabin for a weekend to relax, swim and complain about guys. The guys show up anyway,

and matters degenerate into the usual partying down. These victims-to-be are so busy that the strange behavior of the beavers around them goes unnoticed. for a time.The dialogue: “Here beaver beaver beaver...They’re so adorable!” “Humph! They’re fat rats with big stupid ass tails!” “Normal Zombeavers beavers have pupils in their goddamn eyes!” R; 85 Mins. “Filthy hairy beasts!” “We Netﬂix can’t turn on each other. It’s what the beavers want.” You may have seen pornos with more spontaneity and better exposition. At some level Zombeavers is a sell-out of the principle that movies like this ought to have an evil corporation responsible for the spill, so that the CEO can get it worse than anyone. But it’s mercifully brief, even given ﬁller like a “Would You Rather?” game and a gag outtake reel to dispel the carefully wrought horror of what has gone before. To his credit, Rubin seems determined to invert structural clichés about the Surviving Dog and the Surviving Virgin. Cortney Palm, as Zoe, the raspiest and most topless of the threesome, gives this movie some grain. She sometimes approaches the vividness and stature of Caroline “Stretch” Williams in Texas Chainsaw Massacre II. —Richard von Busack

The fu funkiest nkiest documentary ever made about baseball—comparee and a baseball—compar contrast moree encyclopedic contr ast with the mor work oof KKen en Burns, a ﬁlmmaker could who co ould squeeze the funk out of Brown. James Br own. Subject is No. 17 of the Pittsburgh Pirates: Pittsbu urgh Pir ates: Dock Ellis, ever throwing ffamous amous ffor or allegedly thr owing a nohitter (a ( “no “no no” no” in baseball slang) brains while tripping t his br ains out on LSD. “The Ali A of Baseball” later rregretted egretted this ffeat, eaat, and later became a drug counsellor. counse ellor. Only someone who loved and rresearched esearched Ellis could have director walkedd the line as well as dir ector Jeffery here, Jeff eryy JJ.. Radice has her e, balancing scary the sca ary wackinself-indulgent ’70s afterlife. with EEllis’s llis’s clean and sober afterlif e. was troublemaker, Ellis wa as a tr oublemaker, the last great “Parlate of the gr eat beanballers: “P arlate is yours, and part of the plate is mine,” hiss theory theory. was hi y. He was part of the then-blackest then-b blackest team in baseball, Pirates, the ’71 71 Pir ates with teammates ates, including includi ing Willie SStargellmartyred targellmartyred Roberto Robert to Clemente. Ellis ffaced aced rracism acism aplenty. aplenty y. The most touching moment heree iss the rreading her eading aloud of a from noble letter l of support fr om Jackie Robinson. Robins son. TTrying rrying to avoid a dull story, rrecovery ecovery story y, Radice edits in ’70s Dugout”” campyy anti-drug ﬁlm “The Dugout starring star ring Mamie Van Van Doren’s Doren’s fformer ormer arm-candy Bolinsky; it’s arm-ca andy Bo Bolinsk y; it ’s produced produced by the burger-baron burger-baron Krocs Krocs who (this is inside insidde baseball) owned the Padres, Padres, the team teaam that fell fell to Ellis’ Ellis’ acidacid prowess. It’s soakedd pr owess. It ’s full of talking ffaces, aces, but b great great weathered weathered faces. faces. Interviewees Inter viewees include Ellis’ Ellis’ brutalized secondd wife, wife, Clemente’s Clemente’s widow and and laureate son, an nd fformer ormer U.S. poet laur eate ex-Buckss Donaldd Hall, as well as ex-Buck Larry pitcherr Lar ry Demery who sums Pirates up the milieu: “I give the Pir ates organization credit or ganization cr edit for for drafting drafting pitchers weree fucking cr crazy.” pitcher rs who wer azy.” Intoxication Intoxic cation is such a rremarkable emarkable catalyst larger-than-life catalys st ffor or lar ger-than-life behavior that even evven Dr. Dr. Johnson’s Johnson’ss ffamous amous quote “He who makes a beast of himself himsel lf fforgets orgets the pain of being a man”” seems man s inadequate somehow

Revivals Re vivals NINOTCHKA/THE MARK NINOTCHKA/THE OF ZZORRO ORRO (1940/ (1940/1939) /1939) All about P Paris's aris's effect bad ef fect on the Communist spirit—although spirit— —although visiting the site martyrdom off the th Communar CCommunards' d ' martyr ds' t dom d Pere at P ere Lachaise cemetery only strengthened str engthened my left-wing rresolve. esolve. Melvynn Douglas slouches his elegant through ough Ninotchka elegan nt way thr as a pe persuasive ersuasive demi-gigolo, involved grand involve ed with a White Russian gr and duchess circumstances. duches ss in rreduced educed cir cumstances. suppose "I supp pose one gets the fface ace one

deserves," des serves," this duchess (Ina Clair) says, surveying mirror; say ys, sur veying herself in the mir ror; heree several thee quote turns up her several years before yea ars bef ore its usual attribution to George Orwell. Geo orge Or well. A Soviet commissar named nam med YYakischova aakischova turns up with thee duchess's jewels, trying to sell them the em to rraise aise money ffor or the USSR. Thee gigolo must turn his charms upon her,, but she (Gr (Greta upo on her eta Garbo) is quite drinkss vodka but qui te immune. She drink winces win nces at champagne. "Don't make vomanhood,"" she an issue of my vomanhood, frowns, Paris ow fr wns, poring over a map of P aris weree an over overdue as if i it wer due bill. Garbo is hilarious here, hila arious her e, sending up her usual rroles olees as a weary, wearyy, mannish man killer. killer. Wearing waterproof W earing what look like waterpr oof stockings sto ckings and speaking as tonelessly as a Martian, Garbo is the immovable object obj ect of totalitarianism, undone irresistible by the ir resistible fforce orce of rromance. omance. Unfortunately, Unf fortunatelyy, Ernst LLubitsch's ubitsch's movie mo vie is not as smooth as Douglas. lead-footed It's sometimes lead-f ooted in moments mo ments of levity. levity. Garbo is made to wear w a haute-couture haute-couture hat that would wo uld be hooted out of camp at Burning Bur rning Man. And when she utters stage a st tage laugh, there's there's a note of capitulation aree cap pitulation in it. But the politics ar deft—satirizing def ft—satirizing both the USSR's aims "fewer aim ms to make "f ewer but better Russians" Rus ssians" as well as the golden hindsight aristocratic hin dsight of the aristocr atic class. Douglas "problems Dou uglas comments that "pr oblems aree never solved by bowing fr from ar om a balcony"—a bal cony"—a thought to tide one over presidential ove er during the next pr esidential photo opportunity.. BILLED W WITH pho oto opportunity ITH Thee Mark of Zor Zorro ro. About old California, California, then as now under the lashh of greedy greedy landlords landlords and cruel politicians. politicians. In LLos os Angeles of 1820, a handsome Spaniardd (T (Tyrone han ndsome visiting Spaniar Tyyrone Power) Pow wer) dons a mask and rides by the light lighht of the moon to set things right. A lover loover as well as a fighter, fighter, he has time tim me to court the governor’s governor ’s sweet niece niece Lolita Lolita (Linda Darnell). Rouben Mamoulian directs Mamoulian dir ects this irresistible irresistible adventure advventure as a series of black/white contrasts. It’s conntrasts. It ’s a perfect perfect intro intro to black andd white cinema to yyoungg ppeople p who caree ffor who don’t don’t car or the concept: first white-hot, white-hot, sun-struck villages and thee black rider who awakens them, then Zorro's theen closeups on Zor ro's dark mask andd the catlike glowing eyes. Here Here is one o of cinema's finest cryptofascist fascist villains, Basil Rathbone's Captain Capptain Pasquale; Pasquale; he has an ugly habit swordd blade in habbit of swishing his swor conversation, preparing connversation, pr eparing himself and thee audience for for the lethal closequarters quaarters duel in the finale. Fine character-actor chaaracter acter-actor actor support is provided provided by Eugene P Pallette allette as a ffat, at, fighting Franciscan Franciscan and the interestingly interestingly kinky kinky Gale Sondergaard Sondergaard as the bored borred wife wife of the alcalde. Legend hass it that this is the last movie Bruce parents. Bru uce Wayne Wayne saw with his par ents. (Plays (Pla ays May 27 27-31 -31 in P Palo alo Al Alto to at the Stanford Staanffor o d Theatre.) Theatre.) (RvB)

Best ‘Intention’ BACK BA CK TO TO BASS-ICS BASS-ICS W With ith i the help of keys and compu computers, uterss, Gustaf Fjelstrom is turning g his bass into a lead instrumen instrument. nt.

Gustaf Fjelstrom’s Fje elstrom’s new collection c of ethereal ethereal downtempo o music BY B Y NICK VER VERONIN ON IN

LL THROUGHOUT THROUGH G OUT the ’90s,, Gustaf Fjelstrom ’90s Fjelstrom kept his head head down— playing bass basss in the local background of loca al power trio Indifference. was Maximum Indiffere ence. It w as was to.. M Most a role he w as used to ost of his musical life he has acted in roles, playing supporting roles s, pl laying less instruments. He popular instrumen nts. H e played bass for his high sc chool jazz school band and got his st tart in music start on the accordion, which w he started learning in 1st gr ade. grade.

These h da d days, ayys, howe however, h ver, Fjelstr Fjelstrom, j l om, is ttaking aking th he lead—as the sole the song writerr, pr oducer and fr ontman songwriter, producer frontman of his vvery ery own solo pr oject. He will project. rrelease elease his ﬁrst full-leng th, full-band full-length, solo LP P, Intention, Inttention, on JJune une 1. LP, Fjelstr om m (the J is silent), Fjelstrom describ es his h music as a cr oss describes cross b etween T ycho and Hammo ck. between Tycho Hammock. It ’s an apt ccomparison. omparison. T exturallyy, It’s Texturally, the album sounds vvery ery much lik likee the rreverb-soaked, everb -soaked, instrumental instrumental electr onica of the San Francisc oelectronica Franciscobased T ych ho. While the vvolume olume Tycho. p edal guit a sswells ar wells and ambient, pedal guitar br eath hy non-verbal no on-verbal vvocals ocals deﬁnitely breathy rrecall ecall the work w of the Nash ville Nashville ambient /post rrock ock duo ambient/post duo.. And it ’s not just that the tones it’s

Fjelstrom has selected mirr Fjelstrom mirror or those t used b ycho and Hammo ck. The byy T Tycho Hammock. South San JJose-based ose-based song writter songwriter sa ayys he quite literally imagined d says “what it would sound lik likee if Hammo ck and T ycho wer Hammock Tycho weree in a band to gether and I w as on ba ass.” together was bass.” T aake one lo ok at the album ’s Take look album’s ar twork—an orb ccomposed omposed off artwork—an interlo cking half-shells halff-shells floatingg in a interlocking pink -magenta-blue haze —and yyou’ll ou’ll pink-magenta-blue haze—and get an idea of what his music sounds s lik e. If the shap ecord’ ds like. shapee on the rrecord’s ccover over calls calls to mind the massiv massivee wormhole generator fr om the 19 97 from 1997 film C ont o act, the songs within sound s Contact, a lot l lik h yyou’d ou’d eexpect xpect to hear h likee what while floating in the orbit of th he the fara away hea avenly univ erse JJody o dy faraway heavenly universe F oster’s character is sent aaway way to Foster’s to.. Ev ery instrument and ssynth ynth h Every tention e is wrapp ed in i patch on Int Intention wrapped a dense eal dense,, aural gauze gauze.. Ether Ethereal inc antations smear into one incantations

GUSTTAF GUSTAF A FFJELSTROM JEELST ROM ‘‘INTENTION’ INT ENTION N’ music.botched.com

29 MAY M AY 27-JUNE 27-J U N E 2, 2015 | me metrosiliconvalley.com trosiliconvalley.com | sanjose. sanjose.com .com | metr metroactive.com oactive.com

metroactive MUSIC

another another,, while liv livee drums and glitch electr onic samples fform o orm h ypnotic electronic hypnotic rh hyythms. rhythms. Fjelstr om says saayys itt has been b een nice nice Fjelstrom to indulge his mell ower side mellower side.. Maximum Indiff ffeerenc e e was was a much Indifference higher ener gy band—inﬂuenced band d—inﬂuenced energy primarily b ush u and a other ’70s byy R Rush and ’8 0s progressive progressivve rock. rock. ’80s “This latest album m is rreally eally something I’v eeen w anting to I’vee b been wanting do ffor o or a while ,” Fjelstrom Fjellstrom says. saayys. “It’s “It’s while,” b een nic i e to t chill hill out o t a lit tl bit. tle bit Get G t been nice little a lit tle spac ey.” little spacey.” But Int ention isn ’t just a Intention isn’t div ersion fr om his work w with diversion from Maximum Indiff ffeerenc e e. With With i his Indifference. ne w album, he is eexpanding x xpanding up on new upon the eextremely xtremely minimalist miniimalist work he did immediatelyy ffollowing o ollowing his depar ture fr om departure from his fformer o ormer gr oup. group. S ffar So h far,, he is happ happyy with the rresult. esult. “I ac complished accomplished what I set out to do do,, so now it ’s ab out it’s about get ting it out getting ther theree and get ting it into getting as man manyy hands as p ossible ibl ,” he h says. saayyss. possible,” And when he sa ays y “hands,” “hands,” he says means it. Fjelstr om m plans to rrelease elease Fjelstrom the album as a dow wnload thr ough download through his BandC amp pag une 1, but BandCamp pagee on JJune he will also b issuiing the work as a bee issuing deluxe vin yl set. vinyl The limited editi ion 12-inch LP set edition will b pressed on 20 2 0-gram black bee pressed 200-gram vinyl, heavy h avy hea v stock, stock, fulland purple vinyl, ccolor olor jack ets and inner in nner slee ve, along jackets sleeve, with a CD vversion ersion of o the album and a fr ee download. downloaad. The deluxe free pack age ccan an b d ed now; it will der package bee or ordered ship around around JJuly uly 1. A ollector of vin yl himself f, Ass a ccollector vinyl himself, Fjelstr om is hop efu ul that ambient Fjelstrom hopeful music fans will b d aw wn to the bee dra drawn at tractive set. “I really reaally like like that attractive ffeeling eeling e of hav ving so omething having something ttangible angible in m nd to hold and myy han hand ccollect,” ollect,”” he sa ayys. says.

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metroactive metr oactivve MUSIC THE CA CATS ATS

THE X B BAR AR Every Thu: No Cover night. Saturday day Nite Live Every Sat: Satur Show.. Cupertino. Music Show Cupertino.

Every Fri, 9:30pm: DJ Norma Norman. n. San Jose.

Wed, May 27 Wed, 27, 7, 7pm: A Acoustic coustic Madness. Thu, May 28, 8pm: Out of the Blue. Fri, May 29, 8pm: ISIS and the Cold TTruth. ruth. r Sat, May 30, 8pm: Jimmy Dewrance Dewr ance Band. Every Sun, Ferrara. 6pm: Joe Fer rara. LLos os Gatos.

AGENDA A GENDA LLOUNGE OUNGE

DANA D ANA SSTREET TREET CCOFFEE OFFEE

Every W Wed, ed, 8pm: Salsa W ednesdays w/ fr ee dance Wednesdays free lessons. Every Thu, 9pm: Banda Night. San Jose. Everyy Sunday: Hip-hop & rreggae. eggae. San Jose.

LILLY LILL Y MA MAC'S C'S

AGAVE A GA AV VE

ART AR T BOUTIKI Fri, May 29, 8pm: Art Openin Openingg with Live Music. San Jose.

THE B BACK ACK B BAR AR SOF SOFA A Every W Wed, ed, 9pm: The CCypher, ypher, ffeat. eat. Hip-hop, Jungle, Soul, Reggae, Dubstep, TTrap, rap, Br eakBeat, House and mor e.. BreakBeat, more. San Jose

BRIT ARMS ALMADEN Everyy W Wed ed and Sun,, 10pm: p KKaraoke araoke with DJ Hank. Fri, May 29, The Spazmatics. Sat, May 30, Dub All SStars. tars. Every Mon: In House Darts/Foosball. Every TTue: ue: u Pubstumpers TTrivia. rivia. r

BRITANNIA ARMS BRITANNIA DOWNTOWN DO WNTOWN Every W Wed: ed: DJ 512. Every Thu Thu: u: DJ Nico & Neeber. Neeber. Every Fri: DJ Benofﬁcial & Clay Clay.. Every Sat: DJ Readyy Rock. San Jose. Josee.

CARDIFF LLOUNGE OUNGE Every TTues, uues, 10pm: Resident DJ D Gabriel Black pr esents Beat presents CCulture. ulture. Every Wed, Wed, 10pm: Rubber Soul w/ W en Davis, Wen Nappy y, CCutso, utso, and Golden Nappy, Child (Hip-Hop). Every Thu, 10pm: Roger Mor ehouse Morehouse Pr esents Foxy Thursdays. Presents CCampbell ampbell

CHARLEY'S CHARLE Y'S LLGG

Every 2nd Mon, 7pm: Ukulele View. J Jam. M t i View Mountain Vi . Every Sun, 6pm: Irish Music. Sunnyvale.

MARIANI'S Fri-Sat: Live Music. Santa Clara. Clar a.

MOJO MO JO LLOUNGE OUNGE Fri, May 29, 9:30pm: DC Power P ower and the Electric. Sat May 30, Sat, 30 9:30pm: Chris Robinson Band. Every Sun, Acoustic 8pm: A coustic Jam. TTue, uue, May 26, 8pm: Aki KKumar’s umar ’s Band. Fremont. Every Thurs: DJ Mist. Fr emont.

Every Thu, 10pm: KKaraoke. araoke. Every Fri & Sat: Live Music orr DJ a. DJ.. Santa Clar Clara.

Fri: Live music. Santa Clar Clara. a.

Jazz/Blues/ World W oorld AGAVE A GA AVE V Every Thu: Banda La Unica. Every Fri, 6:30pm: Mariachi Mariachismo. San Jose

AGENDA A GENDA LLOUNGE OUNGE Every W Wed, ed, 8pm: Salsa. Every Thu, 9pm: Banda Night. San Jose.

ANGELICA’S ANGELICA ’S BIS BISTRO TRO Every TTue: uue: Jazz TTuesdays. uesdays. u Fri, West May 29, 8:30pm: W est Coast Songwriters Beneﬁt Concert. Sun, May 31, 8pm: Marissa Muraoka. Mur aoka. Redwood City. City.

NORMANDY HOUSE NORMANDY LLOUNGE OUNGE

BLUE BL UE NO NOTE TE LLOUNGE OUNGE

Every Thu, 9:30pm: DJ night Vex. w/ DJ BenOfﬁcial & DJ V ex. Every Fri and Sun, 9:30pm: NoWrath. KKaraoke araoke w/ DJ NoW rath. Clara. Santa Clar a.

BLUE BL UE R ROCK OCK SHOO SHOOT T

NUMBER ONE BR BROADWAY OADWAY Wed, May 27 Wed, 27, 7, 8pm: Isiah Brothers. Pickett & the Green Green Br others. Thu, May 28, 8pm: Blind Pilots. Fri, May 29, 8pm: Joint Chiefs with Pam Pam Hawkins. Sat, May 30, 8pm: Johnny Neri Band. LLos os Gatos.

THE QU QUARTER ARTER NO NOTE TE Every Mon, W Wed ed & Thu: Pr Proo Jam. Sunnyvale.

RED R ROCK OCK CCOFFEE OFFEE Fri, May 29, 8pm: Jack Jackson son Burris. Bur ris. Sat, May 30, 8pm: Skyler View.. Sk yler LLutes. utes. Mountain View

SAN PEDR SAN PEDRO O SQU SQUARE ARE MARKET Thu, May 28, 7pm: The Cruisetones Duo. Fri, May 29, 7pm: Wendy Wendy Dewitt and Kirk Harwood. Har wood. Sat, May 30, 7pm: Daydream Daydr eam Nation. San Jose.

Every W Wed, ed, 10pm: Wi3r Wi3rdd W ednesdays. Every Thu, 7pm m: Wednesdays. 7pm: Speakeasy Saloon w/ live Country music. LLos os Gatos.

C&J’S SPOR SPORTS TS B BAR AR

WOODHAMS W OODHAMS LLOUNGE OUNGE

Every TTue, uue, 7:30pm: YYoshi ooshi Senzaki Band. Every Sun: Jazz or Blues. Milpitas. Every Fri: Blue Rock Showcase. Every Sat: Live Featured Show.. Every Sun: Featur ed Show Saratoga. Jazz & Blues Jam. Sar atoga.

CAFE SSTRITCH TRITCH Every W Wed: ed: W Wax ax W WednesdayednesdayAll Vinyl DJ Set. Thu, May 28, 8:30pm: Kind of Blue TTribute. rribute. Fri, May 29, 9pm: Dinners, Scraper, Scr aper, Rex Goliath. Sat, May 30, 8pm: Mitch Butler Quartet. Every Sun, 7pm: Eulipions Jazz Jam Session Peppe Merolla. w/ P eppe Mer olla. San Jose.

CAFFE FRA FRASCATI SCA AT TI Sat, May 30, 8pm: Rick Rickyy Rasuraa ft. Kiva. First Fri, 8pm: Rasur Operaa Night. First Sat, 8pm: Oper Brothers Celtic KKavanaugh avanaugh Br others Cel tic Experience. San Jose.

CASCAL CA SCAL Every Fri & Sat: Live Music. View.. Mountain View

CLUB CL UB FFOX OX Every W Wed: ed: Club Fox Blues City.. Jam. Redwood City

DANA D ANA SSTREET TREET CCOFFEE OFFEE SONOMA CHICKEN CCOOP OOP DOWNTOWN DO WNTOWN DJ’s Friday Friday, y, & Satur Saturday day night. San Jose.

Every 2nd Mon, 7pm: Ukulele View.. Jam. Mountain View

SAVE THESE DATES details to come

T UESDAY A UGUST 4 - S UNDAY A UGUST 9, 20 15 T H E T H I R D A NN U A L C A F E S T R I T C H

A C ELEBRATION OF T HE L I F E A N D M USIC OF R AHSAAN R OLAND K IRK

374 South First Street | San Jose | CafeStritch.com

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Rock/Pop/ Rock/Pop/ Hip-Hop

More More listings:

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31 HEDLEY CL HEDLEY CLUB UB A AT T HO HOTEL TEL DE ANZA Every 1st and 3r 3rdd W Wed: ed: Jazz Jam. San Jose.

HUKILAU HUKILA U Fri-Sat, 8pm: Hawaiian mus music. sic. San Jose.

JJ.J.’S .J.’SS BL BLUES UES CAFE Blues and Jazz every night. info. CCall all ffor or inf o. San Jose.

LILLY LILL Y MAC’S MAC’S Every Sun: Irish Music. Sunnyvale.

LITTLE LLOU’S OU’S BBQ Wed, May 27 Wed, 27, 7, 7pm: Scott Goldberg. Goldber g. Every Thu: Aki’s 8pm: Blues Jam. Fri, May 29, 8pm m: Amy Lou Lou & the Wild Ones. Sat, S Room.. Mayy 30,, 8pm: p Engine g Room Sun, May 31, 3pm: Little LLou’s ouu’s Jazz Band. San Jose

MOROCCO’S MOR OCCO’S

SST. T. SSTEPHENS TEPHENS GREEN Every TTue, uue, 7:30pm: Irish music. Fourth Sat, 10pm: South American Hits. Mountain View View..

TRAIL DUS DUST T BBQ

UNWINED

ART AR T BOUTIKI

Every 2nd and 4th Thu, Thu 77-9pm: -9pm: Don Balistreri. Balistreri. Every Sat, 7-9:30pm: 7-9:30pm: Live jazz. Every 1st and 3r 3rdd Sat, 9pm: Randy Whiting and “@Jazz.” San Jose.

BAMBOO B AMBOO LLOUNGE OUNGE

THE W WOODSHED OODSHED Nothing Til Til September September.. LLos os Gatos.

C&W/Folk C&W W/F /Folk DANA D ANA SSTREET TREET CCOFFEE OFFEE Every 2nd Mon, 7pm: Ukulele Jam. Mountain View View..

MOSAIC MOS AIC

MISSION MIS SION PIZZA

Every TTues: ues: u Pr Proo Blues Jam. Sunnyvale.

O’FLAHERTY’S O’FLAHER TY’S Thu, 9pm: Live Music. Sun, 5pm: Reggae music. TTue, ue, u 6:30pm: Live Irish Rock. San Jose.

POOR HOUSE BIS BISTRO TRO Every W Wed: ed: Blues & Br Brews ews w/ w Morris Thu, Sid Mor ris & Kyle Kyle Jester. Jester. Th u, Sneakyy P Pete May 28, 6pm: Sneak ete Davee Band. Fri, May 29, 6pm: Dav Albatross Sat, Gonzales Albatr oss Band. Sa at, Band. May 30, 6pm: Ben Rice Band d. Blues. Sun, May 224, 4, 2pm: Live Blue es. San Jose.

SSAM'S AM'S BBQ Wed, May 27 Wed, 27, 7, 6pm: LLoganville. oganville. San Jose.

SMOKING PIG BBQ Fri, May 29, 8:30pm: Aki Fremont. KKumar umar Band. Fr emont.

ANGELICA’S ANGELICA ’S BIS BISTRO TRO Every TTue: uue: Open Mic Tuesdays. Tuuesdays. Redwood City. Cityy.

CHARLEY'S CHARLE Y'S LG LG

MURPHY’S LA LAW W

Open p Mic/ d CComedy omedy

Fri, 6-9pm: 6-9pm: Live blues, rroots oots and Americana. Mor gan Hill. Morgan

Every W Wed, ed, Fri, and Sat, 5pm 5pm: m: Belly dancing. Every TTue, uue, 4pm: Live Jazz Music w/ Johnny Williams. Every Thu:: Acoustic Live A coustic Guitar Music. View.. Mountain View Fri-Sat, 66-9pm: 9pm: Jazz ffor or dinner.. San Jose. dinner

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Every Thu, 7pm: Speakeasy Saloon w/ live Country music. Every TTue, uue, 7pm: TTuesday uuesday Bluesday w/ live Blues music. LLos os Gatos. Thu, May 28, 7pm: Mill Cr Creek eek Ramblers. Fri, May 29, 7pm: SStragglyrs. tragglyrs. Sat, May 30, 7pm: Bear grass Cr eek. Fremont. Fremont. Beargrass Creek.

Thu,, Mar 5,, 6pm: p Open p Mic. San Jose. Mon, 7pm: Musical open mic ffor or singer/songwriters. Sign Free. up at 7pm. Fr ee. San Jose.

BLUE BL UE R ROCK OCK SHOO SHOOT T Thu, 7pm: Musical open mic. San Jose.

CAFFE FRA FRASCATI SCA AT TI Every Mon, 8pm: CommediaOpen Mic ffor or Comedy. Comedyy. Tue, Tuue, 7pm: Open mic. San Jose.

CAMERA 3 Fri, 9pm, Sat, 7pm and Sportz. 9:15pm: Comedy Sport z. San Jose.

CARAVAN CARA AVAN Wed, W ed, 9pm: Comedy Caravan. Caravan.

THE CA CATS ATS Every TTue: uue: Funny Farm hosted b Butch by B t h Escobar EEscobar. b .

CITY EESPRESSO SPRESSO Fri, 7pm: Open mic. San Jose.

ORCHARD OR CHARD V VALLEY A ALLEY CCOFFEE OFFEE Every Thu: A Acoustics coustics Music Nights. Every Fri & Sat: A coustics/Bands Music Acoustics/Bands Nights. CCampbell. ampbell.

PIONEER SSALOON ALOON Every Sun: Jam Session. Every W ed: Marty and Annika. Every Wed: Thu: P ete Weston Weston Pete

RODEO R ODEO CLUB CLUB Thu, May 28, 7pm: CCasey asey James. San Jose.

THE SSADDLE ADDLE RACK RACK Every W Wed, ed, 7:30pm: Country Get Down W ednesdayy. Every Wednesday. Thu, 7:30: Swingin’ Swingin’ A Att The Rack Dance Lessons. Every Fri, 9pm: Country Get Down Friday y. Fr emont. Friday. Fremont.

SHORELINE AMPHITHEATRE AMPHITHEA ATRE T Fri, May 29, 7pm: Toby Toby o KKeith eith & Eli YYoung oung o Band. San Jose.

THE W WOODSHED OODSHED Every 1st Sun: Doug Young’s Yooung’s A coustic Guitar Night. $10. Acoustic LLos os Gatos.

GGVA VA CAFE Every W Wednesday ednesday 7pm Chris & Friends Open Mic. gvacafe. gvacafe. com. Morgan Morgan Hill.

IMPROV IMPR OV Wed, May 27, Wed, 277, 8pm: Mike Yong. Yong. o 28-30, Thu-Sat, May 2830, various: Jo KKoy. oy. Sun, May 31, 7pm: The Squaree Bear Comedy Show Show.. Squar San Jose.

LIQUID Wed, 9pm: P Wed, Poetic oetic Justice Open Mic. San Jose.

MARMIST CCOCKTAIL MARMIST OCKTAIL LLOUNGE OUNGE Sun, 9:30pm: Comedy Sun Comedy.. San Jose.

PHILZ CCOFFEE OFFEE Mon, 7pm: Open mic. Fr Free. ee. Downtown San Jose.

POOR HOUSE BIS BISTRO TRO TTue, uue, 6pm: Open mic. San Jose.

CONCERT

artists who will be performing at this year’s San Jose Jazz Summer Fest.

All That Jazz JAZZ IS AMERICA’S music. Born in New Orleans, it came of age in Chicago, before fanning out across the nation. And while the Big Easy, Windy City and New York have long topped lists of the country’s biggest jazz hubs, San Jose gives each a run for their money every summer. The majority of acts performing at the 26th annual San Jose Jazz Summer Fest have been announced. From Aug. 7 to 9, downtown will once again be saturated with some of the best jazz performers from all over the world. Since its launch in 1986, San Jose Jazz has worked to bring great jazz music to downtown. From traditional trios and quartets playing standards, to Latin and European groups, to boundary-pushing artists fusing jazz and funk with hiphop and electronic production—Summer Fest has done it all.

San Jose Jazz Summer Fest Aug 7-9, Prices Vary Downtown San Jose summerfest. sanjosejazz.org

This year’s extensive list of performers includes JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound. The group, which U.K.-based MOJO Magazine called “one of the hottest U.S. soul acts,” will be performing on the Kaiser Permanente Main Stage in Plaza de Cesar Chavez. SJ Jazz Summer Fest is about more than big names on big stages. As usual, the festival will feature performances at venues throughout downtown San Jose, including Café Stritch and The California Theater. Charenee Wade’s set at Café Stritch is sure to draw a crowd. Wade, who placed ﬁrst runner-up in the 2010 Thelonious Monk International Vocal Competition, will pay tribute to the legendary Gil Scott-Heron at this year’s Summer Fest. Another must-see this year is the buzzed-about saxophonist and jazz futurist Kamasi Washington. He has performed alongside Snoop Dogg, and collaborated with Lauryn Hill, Chaka Khan and Quincy Jones. Most recently, he joined an allstar cast of collaborators on what may very well be 2015’s best hip-hop record— Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterﬂy. Washington’s sprawling new album, The Epic—released on Brainfeeder, the label of visionary electronic artist Flying Lotus, and hailed by the likes of NPR and Pitchfork—bounds between Mars Volta-esque freakouts and ambientelectro meditations. He will perform both at the KP Main Stage and at the California Theatre. Other artists playing at this year’s SJ Jazz Summer Fest include Zigaboo Modeliste; Shai Maestro Trio; Zydeco Flames; the Eddie Palmieri Latin Jazz Band; Etienne Charles & Creole Soul; Letieres Leite & Orkestra Rumpilezz; Bria Skonberg; Adrianna Marie and Her Groovecutters; Legally Blue; and the San Jose Jazz High School All Stars, among many, many others. Read about all of the artists slated to play this summer and plan your festival experience at the San Jose Jazz website.—Nick Veronin

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FUTURE SOUL BROTHER Kamasi Washington is just one of the many

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32 QUARTER QU ARTER NO NOTE TE Mon: Comedy Comedy.. No cover cover.. Sunnyvale.

RED R ROCK OCK CCOFFEE OFFEE CCO. O. Mon, 7pm: CCavin avin and King’s View.. Open Mic. Mountain View

ROOSTER R OOSTER T T.. FEA FEATHERS ATHER T S Thu-Sun, Mayy 2828-31, 31, variou various us Sirof. Wed, times: Jacob Sir of. Every W e ed, Showcase.. 8pm: New TTalent aalent Showcase Sunnyvale.

BOULEVARD BOULE VARD T TAVERN AV VERN

THE HUDDLE

Thu: KKaraoke. araoke. LLos os Gatos.

Wed--TThu and Sun, 9pm: Wild Wed-Thu Fremont. Nights KKaraoke. araoke. Fr emont.

BRANHAM LLOUNGE OUNGE TTue: ue: u KKaraoke araoke with Medik & Sean Blak. San Jose.

BRIT ARMS ALMADEN Wed and Sun, 10pm: KKaraoke Wed araoke w/ DJ Hank. San Jose.

BRIT ARMS CUPER CUPERTINO TINO Sun--Tuue, 10pm: KKaraoke. Sun-Tue, araoke. CCupertino. upertino.

WOODHAMS W OODHAMS LLOUNGE OUNGE

KCC B K BAR AR AND RE RESTAURANT STAURANT

THE CARL CARLOS OS CL CLUB UB

Thu, 9pm: DJ Davey K. CCampbell. ampbell.

Karaoke Kar aoke

Fri & Sat: KKaraoke araoke night. San CCarlos. arlos.

7B BAMBOO AMBOO

TTue: ue: u KKaraoke. araoke. LLos os Gatos.

Thu & Sun-Mon, 8:30pm: Bruce of KKOR OR Karaoke. Karaoke. View.. Mountain View

Wed-Sat, 9pm: KKaraoke. Wed-Sat, araoke. TTue, uuee, 9pm: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

C&J’S SPOR SPORTS TS B BAR AR

KYOTO K YOTO P PALACE ALACE

Every 2nd Thu: Gothic, industrial karaoke. karaoke. Club Lido, Lido, San Jose.

THE B BACK ACK B BAR AR TTue uue thru Sat: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

THE BEAR BEARSS Fri, 9pm: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose..

BENNIGAN’S GRILL Sat, 9pm: KKaraoke araoke evenings evenings. s. Santa Clar Clara. a.

CHARLEY'S CHARLE Y'S LLGG

Thu,, 9pm:: KKaraoke. araoke.. Santa Clara. Clara.

CCOURT’S OURT’S LLOUNGE OUNGE Mon, Thu & Sat, 9pm-Close: KKaraoke. araoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

DASILVA’S D ASILVA’S BR BRONCOS ONCOS Wed: KKaraoke. Wed: araoke. Thu, 9pm9pm-1am: 1am: Clara. KKaraoke. araoke. Santa Clar a.

Best British Pub | Best Happy Hour

The Spazmatics party Dub Allstars Reggae Party

BLUE BLUE MAX

LIQUID TTue: uue: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

MARIANI’SS MARIANI THE NE NEW W JERSEY’S JERSEY’S Sat: KKaraoke. araoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

Wed-Sat & TTue, Wed-Sat uue, 9pm9pm-2am, 2am, & last Sun of every month, 22-7pm: -7pm: B&S Karaoke. Karaoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

NORMANDY HOUSE NORMANDY LLOUNGE OUNGE

EL RANCHO SPOR SPORTS TS B BAR AR Thu, 8pm: Karaoke. Karaoke. San Jose.

FIREHOUSE GRILL & BREWERY BRE WER RY

Fri-Sat, 9:30pm: KKaraoke. araoke. Clara. Santa Clar a.

OASIS O ASIS Wed and Fri-Sat, 8:30pm: Wed Doug Sunnyvale. Doug. Sunnyvale

OFF THE HOOK Wed, W ed, 9pm: Karaoke. Karaoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

OFFICE B BAR AR

Thu, 9pm: Karaoke. Karaoke. Mountain View.. View

Fri-Sat, 9pm, and Sun, 7pm: View.. KKaraoke. araoke. Mountain View

GALAXY

O’FLAHERTY’S O’FLAHER TY’S IRISH PUB

Thu, 9pm-2am: 9pm-2am: August. Milpitas.

Mon, 9pm: Karaoke. Karaoke. San Jose.

Fri: Karaoke Karaoke Fridays. Sunnyvale.

Watch Earthquakes Lunch & Dinner & NHL Playoffs Daily Breakfast

Here!

Fri, 9pm: KKaraoke araoke Friday Nights. Santa Clar Clara. a.

Thu: Karaoke. Karaoke. Sunnyvale.

EFFIE’S RE RESTAURANT STAURANT

FRANCESA’S FRANCE SA’S BLINKY’S BLINK Y’S CAN’T SSAY AY

LILLY LILL Y MA MAC’S C’S

Thu, 8pm: Chris. Santa Clar Clara. a.

Tues. PUBSTUMPERS TRIVIA

DJ Clay

Wed, W ed, 7pm: KKaraoke. araoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

Wed, W ed, 10pm: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

Sun, 7pm-close: Uncle Dougie Show.. P Palo Alto. Show alo Al to.

MUSIC

KING OF CL CLUBS UBS

DIVE B BAR AR

on Tap! Big selection of bottles too!

THU 5/28 FRI 5/29 SAT 5/30

Wed & Sun, 9:30pm-1:30am: Wed 9:30pm-1:30am: KKaraoke. araoke. CCampbell. ampbell.

KHARTOUM KHAR TOUM

APPARITION APP ARITION

Wed. & Sun. KARAOKE w/DJ Hank

KATIE KA AT TIE BLOOM’S BLOOM’S

Mon, 10pm: Mandatory Monday KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

Nightlyy, 9pmNightly, 9pm-2am: 2am: KKaraoke. araoke.. San Jose.

Craft Beers

Sun: Karaoke Karaoke for for the Industry. Industry. No cover. cover. San Jose.

WORKS/SAN W ORKS/SAN JOSE

ALEX’S ALEX ’S 49ER 49ER INN

Watch NBA Finals here!

JOHNNY V’S

Wed, 8pm: DJ Desmond. Wed, San Jose.

Fri-Sat, 8pm: KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

GoWARRIORS!

Fri-Sat, 9pm: KKaraoke. araoke. Sunnyvale.

THE CARA CARAVAN VA AN

7 SSTARS TARS B BAR AR & GRILL

Restaurant

ISLAND CAFE & B BAR AR

Mon: Comedy open mic withh Pete Clara. P ete Munoz. Santa Clar a. 2nd Thu, 7pm: W Words ords Dr Drawing awing Music. San Jose.

British Pub

Moree listings: Mor

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Sat/Sun 9am

britanniaarmsalmaden.com 408.266.0550

5027 ALMADEN EXPWY @ HYW 85

BLUE BL UE PHEA PHEASANT SANT

O’MALLEY’S O’MALLE Y’S SPOR SPORTS TS PUB

TTue, uue, 7pm: KKaraoke araoke w/ SSteve tevee TTiger. iger. Cupertino. Cupertino.

BOGART’S BOGAR T’S LOUNGE LOUNGE Wed, Fri & Sun, 9pmWed, 9pm-1am: 1am: KKaraoke. araoke. Sunnyvale.

Thu, 9pm. Mountain View View....

THE GOOSET GOOSETOWN OWN LLOUNGE OUNGE Fri-Sun, 9:30pm9:30pm-1:30am: 1:30am: KKaraoke. araoke. Willow Glen.

PLAZA GARIB GARIBALDI ALDI Wed & Sun, 7pm-close: Wed KKaraoke. araoke. San Jose.

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Wed Wed 5/27

Gam Game a Night ghtt... beer b pong, p g video id games, ga e pool p and also Our O New N weekly kly party, B party p y, TTouch ouchh Base

Thu 5/28

Vipp Night g & Thi y Thursdays Th Thirsty y

Fri Fri 5/29

LIVE MUSIC

Sat 5/30

TRAP SHOP &

CLASS SYSTEM, MENTAL MENTAL DISASTER, DISAS STER, THE DEFENDERS, KAMIKAZE

GRINDTIME EDITIO EDITION ON Sun 5/31 Mon 6/1 Tuee Tu 6/2

DJ night with $penmon $penmoney ney

RetoXx TRAP SHOP UPCOMING SHOWS 6/20 UK Subs 7/10 & 7/11 3rd annual Underneath the Underground Music Festival Feestival

31 3 1 E Sant S Sa Santa ant ntta C Clara la la ar r ra aS St St. t. â€˘ D Do Downtown o t n SJ SJ To T o book boo a show h or o r event go to o johnnyvsbar@facebook.com ohnny m

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A LLT TERNA AT TIVE MEDICINE

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A LLT TERNA AT TIVE MEDICINE

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ADVICE ADV ICE GODDESS GO DDESS

By AMY ALK ALKON O ON

AdviceAmy Advic ceAmy@A AOL.com OL.com

If ther thereâ€™s next logical eâ€™s a ne exxt lo gicall step after late-night officee se sexytime, probably late -night offic xyytimee, it pr obably isnâ€™t â€œNow weâ€™re done despoiling isn nâ€™â€™t â€œN ow that we â€™re do ne desp oiling letâ€™s the cconference onffer e ence table, table, let â€™s go meet each otherâ€™ss parents!â€? otherâ€™ parents!â€? Remember People want R ememb e er dating? P eo ople who w ant a people rrelationshipsâ€”especially elationshipsâ€” e especially ffemale eemale p eople arenâ€™t anything who ar en nâ€™â€™t up ffor or an o nyythin ng lessâ€”go on before they the dates b effor o e the ey go on th he cconference o onffeerrenc e ce isnâ€™t say women ttable. able a . This isn nâ€™â€™t to sa ay wom men should never have after-hours ne ever ha ave after r-hours fun n with some itâ€™s want guy at work; it tâ€™s just that if i yyou o ou w ant a a having sex before rrelationship, elationship e , ha aving v se ex b efo ef orre he gets is a risky emotionally attached atttached a risk ky strategyâ€” strateggyâ€” just sex. sex one that often leads to jus st se ex. x Or just se ex whenever whene ever e his rrelationship elationship e p is on the rrocks. ocks. Sure, Sur e, you you â€œemphasizedâ€? â€œemphasized dâ€? that you you donâ€™t statement don nâ€™t â€™ want want casual caasual sexâ€”a seexâ€”a x statement that probably pr obably buzzed buzzed on papery paper ery little littttle wings around ar ound the guyâ€™s guyâ€™s ear before beffor ore getting getttting squished by by his sex seex drive. drivve. Women Wo omen evolved evolved to be be the Missouri of human hum man sexualityâ€” seexxualittyâ€” Missouriâ€™ss nickname being Missouriâ€™ bein ng â€œthe â€œthe Show-Me State. protect St taate.â€? Women Women o protect themselves th hemselves by by being b eing what evolutionary evo olutionary psychologists pssycholo c gists Martie Mar rttie Haselton and David Daavvid Buss call caall â€œcommitment â€œc ommitment skepticsâ€?â€”holding sk kepticsâ€?â€” e â€”holding off having ha avving sex seex while seeking evidence evidenc v ce of a manâ€™s man nâ€™s willingness to invest in nvesst (beyond (beyond o an eevening vening of semi-naked semi-nak keed fun fu un in a desk chair). Ass for A fo or men, research research by by psychologists psycholo ps c gists Russell R ussell Clark and Elaine HatďŹ eld u H tďŹ eld Hat ďŹ

conďŹ rms conďŹ rms what wh hat most of us have haave observed observed numerous numerous times: As long as a woman has tiimes: As a moderate moderate level l veel of attractiveness, le atttractiv t eness, a manâ€™s man nâ€™s likely lik keely to want wan ant to have haave sex seex with her. herr. In other words, words, while women are are the sexual seexual x gatekeepers, gatek keeepers, for fo or men, there there is no gate. gate. There There isnâ€™t isn nâ€™t â€™ even even a fence. feence. Sure, itâ€™s disappointing Sure, it â€™s di isappointing when a man youâ€™re â€œfuturee b boyfriendâ€? picturring in the â€œfutur yo ouâ€™re picturing oyfriendâ€? y slot just w wants have sex. ant a ts to ha ave se ex. x But ffeeling eeling e insulted ab about like myy ffeeling ou ut that is lik ke m eeelingg insulted thatt m myy 5-p 5-pound dogg tries to ha have ound do ave sex myy armâ€”appar sortt seex with m aarmâ€”apparently ently some sor of o odd biological imperative myy arm dd biolo g cal gic a imp erativve that m and I don donâ€™t personally. nâ€™â€™t ttake ake p ak ersonallyy. To move To mo ove on, o turn this into a learning experience protect exxperience so o yyou ou o ccan an pr otect yyourself ourself o in the futur future. starts admitting e. This st tar a ts with admit ttting that yyou sucked because ou got suck keed in not b eccaause of something th this because his guy did but b eccaause yyou ou o let ego and emotion e do the driving while reason was hogtied, reason w aas gagged, g ho gtied, t and left ffor or o dead in the trunk. Accept itâ€™s t A ccept that it â€™s yyour our responsibility responsibilitty to vvet et whether a situation would ultim ultimately mately work ffor or o yyou ou o instead of lea leaving guardianship aving v the rd dianship of yyour our o needs the guar othersâ€”others may to othersâ€” o others whose agenda ma ay not match yyours. Yes, o .Y ours ees, Iâ€™m hinting that many about out man ny men will w tell a woman just ab anything sex. an nyything to get g se ex. x ((Just Just ask a man whose grand grandma dma has died suddenly and tragicallyâ€Śdozens times.) tragiccaallyyâ€Ś â€Śd dozens of times .)

After casual sex, sex why do d some men spend all night sp spooning pooning and cuddling? This just happened forr the second time, and it really messes with my head. My kicks rings.. nesting inclination ki cks in, and I start fantasizing about a engagement rings And Iâ€™m not some needy dy little thing.â€”Confused need Itâ€™ss like when the planeâ€™ planeâ€™ss landing gear is Itâ€™ person malfunctioning and a perso on grabs the hand t themâ€Śnot of the stranger seated next to because that person means something to them than but because it feels better th han possibly dying DORQH LQ D ÂżHU\ H[SORVLRQ DORQH LQ D ÂżHU\ H[SORVLRQ Casual sex, like grain alcohol alccohol and ladiesâ€™ FOLQJ\ NQLWZHDU LVQÂśW IRU HYHU\RQH ,Q FOLQJ\ FOLQJ\ NQLWZHDU LVQÂśW IRU IRU HYYHU\RQH YHU\RQH ,Q research by anthropologist John Marshall Townsend, many women who T ownsend, o w just wanted sex from a guy still woke upp the morning after with worries like â€œDoes â€œDoees he care about me?â€? and â€œIs sex all he wass after?â€? This is

perhaps because becauuse of the release of the bonding oxytocinâ€”upon hormone oxyt ytocinâ€”upon orgasm orgasm or from LQWHQVH FXGGOLQJ ,Q PHQ WHVWRVWHURQH JRHV LQWHQVH FXGGOLLQJ ,Q PHQ WHVWRVWHURQH JRHV tackling the oxytocin l all defensive lineman, DQG EORFNLQJ LW IURP JHWWLQJ WR LWV UHFHSWRU DQG EORFNLQJ LW IURP JHWWLQJ WR LWV UHFHSWRU Understanding Understandin ng this may lead you to rethink KRRNLQJ XS $W WKH YHU\ OHDVW \RX VKRXOG KRRNLQJ XS $W $ WKH YHU\ OHDVW \RX VKRXOG take precautions precautio ons for safe sexâ€”like sex like asking Âł:KHUHÂśV WKH ÂżUH HVFDSH"Â´ DQG WHOOLQJ D JX\ Âł:KHUHÂś V WKH ÂżUH HVFDSH"Â´ DQG WHOOLQJ D JX\ about the tender tendder talk you need immediately afterwardâ€Śsuch afterwardâ€Śsu uch as â€œYou â€œY Yoou can let yourself outâ€? and â€œDonâ€™t â€œDonnâ€™t forget forrgget to leave the parking SDVV LQ P\ PDLOER[ Â´ SDVV LQ P\ PDDLOER[ Â´

ÂŠ2015, Amy Alkon, all ri rights ights reserved. Got a problem? W Write rite Amy Alkon, 380 SS.. First St., San Jose, e, CA 95113, or email adviceamy@ adviceamy@aol.com. @aol.com.

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A year ago ago, o, a co-workerr I had a crush on made moves o on n me after hours at work, short and we stopped just sh hort of having sex. I saw him as a potential boyfriend, and was He I emphasized that I wa as not interested in casual sex. H e told me at the time that he had broken up with h his girlfriend but two days late er said theyâ€™ â€™d made up later theyâ€™d up.. Several times since, wh when hen his relationship has been on n the rocks rocks, s, he heâ€™s â€™s suggested we have sex. I told him m I want no physical contact with h him ever again, and now he rarely speaks to t me, despite seeing me daily att work. I considered him devastated and a friend, so Iâ€™m devasta ated he took advantage of me an nd was only interested in cheating. Iâ€™m ďŹ nding itt really hard to heal and move on on.â€”Disturbed n.â€”Disturbed

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NOTICES TICES 44 LEGAL & PUBLIC NO FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSI U NESS NAME #604956 AME STATEMENT STATTEM MENT #604 956 The following following perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: Craftsmen Via Oro, o, San Jose, Cr aftsmen Printing, Printing, 6660 V ia Del Or Craftsmen CCA, A, 95119, 95119, United Cr raftsmen Inc. This business is corporation. Above conducted by by a corp poration. Abo ve entity was formed California. transacting in the state of Califo ornia. Registrant Registrant began tr ansacting business under the fictitious business name or names 27, listed herein herein on Decc 2 7, 11979. 979. Refile previous file #400544 R efile of pr evious fil le #4005 44 after 40 days of expiration /s/Joan expir ation date. /s/J Joan FFalkenstein alkenstein Secretary #971202 Secr etary #9 71202 This statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Claraa County on 5/1 5/15/2015. Clar 5/2015. 5/27, 6/03, 6/10/2015) (pub Metro (p Metro 5/ 5/20,, 5/ //27, 6/0 / 3, 6/1 / 0/201 / 5)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSI U NESS NAME STATEMENT STATTEM MENT #604 #604942 942 The following following perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: Gas Gas Savers Sav ers USA, USA, 527 527 Charcot Charcot Ave., Ave., # Unit 309, 309, San Jose, CCA, A, 95131, 95131, John Mas Masri, sri, 1151 51 Woodland Woodland Way, Way, Milpitas, CA, CA, 95035. 9 5035. This busine business ss is conducted by by a individual. Registrant R egistrant has not yet yet begun transacting transacting business under the ﬁctitious business name or names listed herein. her ein. /s/John Mas Masri sri This statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa Claraa County on 5/1 Clar 5/15/2015. 5/2015. (pub Metr /27, 6/0 3, 6/1 0/2015) Metroo 5/20, 5/ 5/27, 6/03, 6/10/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSI U NESS NAME SSTATEMENT TATTEM MENT #603925 The follo following wing perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: 1. Aur Auraa Spa & Salon Salon, n, 2. Aura Aura Spa Salon, 505 South PPastoria astoria Avenue, Avenue, Su Suite uite 2 28, 8, Sunnyv Sunnyvale, ale, CA, CA, 94086, 94086, La LLune une LL LLC, C, 100 100 Marin Maringale ngale Drive, Drive, Fremont, Fremont, CCA, A, 94539. 94539. This business is conducted connducted by by a limited liability company.. Above company Above ent entity tity was formed in the state of California R Registrant egistrantt began tr transacting ansacting business under the ﬁctitious busine business ess name or names listed herein herein on 4/17/2015. 4/1 7/2015. /s/Hangg Do Managing Member #201 #201506410290 506410290 This statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa Claraa County on 4/1 Clar 4/17/2015. 17/2015. (pub Metr Metroo 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/ 5/20, /20, 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

FICTITIOUS FI CTITIOUS BUSINESS BUSI U NESS #604792 NAME SSTATEMENT TATTEM MENT #604 47792 The follo following wing perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: The Joint Eatery, Eatery, 9 933 E. Santa Clar Claraa S Street, treet, San Jose, CCA, A, 95113, 95113, E & B Co Comfort mfort FFood ood Eatery, Eatery, Limited Liability Company,, 2664 Sen Company Senter nter Road, Road, Unit 129, 129, San Jose, CA, CA, 95111. 9 5111. This busines business ss is conducted by by a limited liability company.. Above company Above ent entity tity was formed in the state of California Registrant Registrantt has not yet yet begun tr transacting ansacting business under the ﬁctitious business name or names herein. listed her ein. /s/Jayy Berry Manager #201507210363 #201 507210363 This statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa Claraa County on 5/1 5/12/2015. Clar 2/2015. (pub Metr Metroo 5/20, 5/ 5/27, /27, 6/0 6/03, 3, 6/1 6/10/2015) 0/2015)

FICTITIOUS FI CTITIOUS BUSINESS BUSI U NESS NAME SSTATEMENT TATTEM MENT #604636 The follo following wing perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: Tuba’s, Tuuba’s, 1979 1979 Harris Harrris Ave., Ave., Apt #2, San Jose, CA, CA, 95124, 9 5124, FFatima atima FFarid. arid. This business is conducted by by a individual. Registrant Registrannt has not yet yet begun transacting transacting business under the ﬁctitious business name or names listed herein herein on. /s/Fatima /s//Fatima FFarid arid This statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa Claraa County on 5/0 Clar 5/07/2015. 07/2015. (pub Metro Metro 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/ 5/20, /20, 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSI U NESS NAME STATEMENT STATTEM MENT #604235 The follo following wing perso person(s) n(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as: PParadox aradox Barbershop Barbershop, p, 11409 409 W W.. San Carlos S St., t., San Jose, CCA, A, 95126, 95126, PParadox aradox Barbershop LLC. LLC. This business is conducted connducted by by a limited liability company.. Abo company Above ve ent entity tity was formed in the state of California Registrant Registrantt has not yet yet begun tr transacting ansacting business under the ﬁctitious business name or names listed herein. herein. /s/Jefff Pham Owner/CEO #201510410211 #201510410211 This statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa Clar 27/2015. Claraa County on 4/2 4/27/2015. (pub Metr Metroo 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/ 5/20, /20, 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

SSTATEMENT TATEMENT T OF A ABANDONMENT BANDONMENT OF U USE OFF FICTITIOUS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS BUSINESS NAME #603996 # 603996 The follo The following wing person(s) / entity (ies) has / hav havee abandoned ab bandoned the use of the fictitious business name name(s): e(s): LLotus ottus Spa, 74 74 s. 1st Street, Street, San Jose, CA CA 95113, 95113, Giao Giaao X Nguyen, Ng guyen, 91 916 6S Stone tone Glen Cour Court, t, San Jose, CA, CA, 95122. 95122. Fil ed in Santa Clar le Filed Claraa County on 2/11/201 2/11/20155 under fil file #6 601348 This business was conducted by by an gene eral #601348 general pa rtnership /s/Giao X. Nguyen Nguyen This statement wass partnership file ed with the County Clerk of Santa Clar o filed Claraa County on 4/ /20/2015. (pub Metr 3, 5/20, 5/2 7, 6/0 3/20 015) 4/20/2015. Metroo 5/1 5/13, 5/27, 6/03/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #605013 #605013 The follo The following wing person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: SioneCinco Si Sio oneCinco Ci Photography, Ph Photogr t aphy h , 554 554 Fisk Fi k Ave., Ave., San S Jose, J CA, CA, A 95125, 9 5125, Jonathan G Garcia. arcia. This business is conducted conducted by by a individual. individual. Registrant Registrant has not yet yet begun transacting transactting business bu usiness under the ﬁctitious business name or names nam mes listed list ted herein. herein. /s/Jonathan G Garcia arcia This Th is statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa S Clara Cla ara County on 5/1 5/19/2015. 9/2015. (pub (pu ub Metr Metroo 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03, 3, 6/1 6/10, 0, 6/1 6/17/2015) 7/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #603995 The follo The following wing person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: LLotus ottus Spa, 74 74 S. 1st Street, Street, San Jose, CA, CA, 95113, 95113, TDNN, TD DNN, LL C 916 C, 916 Stone Stone Glen Ct., San Jose, CA, CA, 95122. 95122. LLC, Th is business is conducted by by a limited liability This co mpany. Above Above entity was formed in the state of company. Ca lifornia R egistrant began tr ansacting business under u California Registrant transacting thee fictitious business name or names listed her einn on herein 4/ /20/15. R efile of pr evious file number #601 348 with w 4/20/15. Refile previous #601348 ch anges/s/Giao X. Nguyen Nguyen CEO changes/s/Giao #2 201508040190. This statement was filed with thee #201508040190. Co ounty Clerk of Santa Clar 5. County Claraa County on 4/20/201 4/20/2015. (pu ub Metr 3, 5/20, 5/27, 5/27, 6/0 3/2015) (pub Metroo 5/1 5/13, 6/03/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #604687 The follo The following wing person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: MK M K TTransport, ransport, 311 3114 4R Rasmus asmus Cir Circle, cle, San Jose, CCA, A, 95148, 9 5148, David Nguyen. Nguyen. This business is conducted by by a individual. individual. Registrant Registrant has not yet yet begun tr transacting ansactting business bu usiness under the ﬁctitious business name or names nam mes listed list ted herein. herein. /s/David Nguyen Nguyen This Th is statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa S Clara Cla ara County on 5/08/201 5/08/2015. 5. (pub (pu ub Metro Metro 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/20, 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #604656 The following The following person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: Wonderful W o onderful Life Real Real Estate, 90 903 3 Lanewood Dr Dr.,., Sann Jose, CCA. A 95125, A. 95125, Joseph Messineo. Messineo. This Th is business is conducted by by an individual. Registrant R e egistr ant began tr transacting ansacting business under the fictitious fict titious business name or names listed her herein. ein. Refile previous #561826 R e of pr efile evious file #56 1826 with changes /s/Joe /s /Joe Messineo This Th S is statement was filed with the County Clerk of Santa Clara Cla ara County on 5/07/201 5/07/2015. 5. (pub (pu ub Metr Metroo 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/20, 5/27, 5/27, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

FICTITIOUS BUSINESS FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #604575 The follo The following wing person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: Curbside Cu urbside Cuisine, 1660 1660 TTriton riton Ct., Santa Clar Clara, a, CCA, A, 95050, 9 5 5050, Chung Hsiao FFu. u. This business is conducted conducteed by by a individual. individual. Registrant Registrant has not yet yet begun transacting transactting business bu usiness under the ﬁctitious business name or names nam mes listed list ted her herein. ein. /s/Chung Hsiao FFuu This Th is statement was ﬁled with the County Clerk of Santa S Clara Cla ara County on 5/06/201 5/06/2015. 5. (pub (pu ub Metr Metroo 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/20, 5/2 5/27, 7, 6/0 6/03/2015) 3/2015)

FICTITIOUS FI CTITIOUS BUSINESS BUSINESS NAME NA AME STATEMENT STATTEMENT #604334 The following The following person(s) is (ar (are) e) doing business as:: FFresh resh Onn First, 785 785 S. 1st Street, Street, San Jose, CA, CA, 95113, 95113, Efren Efrren Hernandez, He ernandez, 495 495 N. San Pedro Pedro St., St., San Jose, CA, CA, 95110. 95110. This Th is business is conducted by by a individual. Registrant R e egistr ant has not yet yet begun transacting transacting business under un nder the fictitious business name or names listedd herein. he erein. /s/Efer /s/Eferen en Hernandez. This statement was filed file ed with the County Clerk of Santa Clar Claraa County on o 4/29/2015. 4/ /29/2015. (pub Metr Metroo 5/6, 5/1 5/13, 3, 5/20, 5/2 5/27/2015) 7/20115)

TTHE HE ST STRAIGHT RAI GHT DOPE

By CECIL CECIL AD ADAMS AMS

CECIL CE CIL@METR METRONEWS.COM ONEWS.COM

I am the parent of tw two wo young children. I was recentl recently ly reminiscing with fellow parents aboutt our youth and the freedom we e enjoyed to play around the neighborhood wi ithout parental supervision. W e all agreed we wouldn't without We allow our children to o do the same given today's mor re dangerous world. That more made me wonder: Is today's world really more dang gerous for kids than it was dangerous 30 years ago? H ave in ncidents of abduction and otherr assaults on children Have incidents increased, or has the e information age's constant ne ews barrage given us the news impression that pred dators lurk around every corner r?—Peter Stedman predators corner?—Peter No, today’s isn't more dangerous. No, to daayy’s world isn isn' 'tt mor re danger ous. You grew crime-ridden Y ou o gr rew up during the most crime -ridden period modern American history. p eriod in mo dern Amer riccan a histor ry. By objective measures safer objectiv ve measur es the ccountry ountrry is far saf feer now. parents now w. But yyou ou and ccountless o ounttless other par ents true.. Wh Why? think the rreverse eveerse is true hy? y facts,, as eexplained myy 20 2002 The facts xplained x d in m 02 ccolumn o olumn on this subject: A crude benchmark safety b enchmark of public saf feetty is the violent annually byy the FBI. In crime rate rreported eported ann nually b 1960 was per 100,000 people. 19 60 the rate w aas 161 p err 10 0,000 p eople. Starting 1963 began St arrtting in 19 63 the rate b egan rising sharply, byy 1970 and p peaking sharply y, rreaching eaching 364 b eaking at 758 in 19 1991. Sincee then dropped 91. Sinc n it's dr ropp o ed steadily:: in 2013 it w was down 368, about steadily aas do own to 36 8, ab out the same as in 1970. Assuming were born Assuming yyou’re o ou u’r ’ e now w 35, yyou o ou wer re b orn 1980 were 1991, in 19 80 or so and wer re 111 in 19 91, the worst was yyear eear on rrecord. ec e ord. And yyet et yyou o ou think it w aas safer now. Possible saf feer then than now w. P osssible eexplanations: xxplanations: You you’re Yoou bbelieve elieve eeverything veerryythingg yyou ’rre ttold old o bbyy the media (other than me) me).. Th This theoryy his is the theor advanced byy L Lenore Skenazy, advanc ceed b enore Sk kenaz e y, author of Free-Range Kids,, who cr created uproar Fr ree-R e Raange Kids eated an upr ro oar in 2008 20 08 when she rrevealed eveealed d in her ssyndicated yyndiccaated ccolumn o olumn that she’d she’d let her her nine-year-old nine-yearr-old son New York subway alone.. ride the N ew Y o ork subw way home alone Skenazy Sk kenaz e zy blames ccable-news able a -neews sensationchild-advocacy alarmists.. mongers and child-adv ocacy a alarmists I don don’t Alarmism new. n’’t buy it. Alarmis sm is nothing ne ew. 1980s, In the 19 80s, ffollowing ollowing o sseveral everal e ccases ases a of children being abducted murdered, childr reen b eing ab ducted d and mur rder d red, e around began dairies ar round o the ccountry o ounttry b egan pictures publishing pictur es of missing m kids on the Newspapers sides of milk ccartons. ar a tons. N ewspapers rreported ew ep e orted many million children that as man ny as ttwo wo w mill lion childr reen went 1992 missing each yyear. eearr. (One 19 92 estimate put the actual numb number kids abducted byy er of kid ds ab ducted b strangers in the low hun hundreds annually; ndreds annually y; incidencee now is though thought bee in decline decline.) incidenc ht to b .) Posting disfavor P osting missing-kid pix ffell ell e into disfa avor decade psychologists late in the dec cade a when child ps sycchologists and the lik like warned was ke w arned a it w aas needlessly kids.. A Ass one such kid, P Peter, frightening kids eterr, yyou ou probably stared number milkpr obably st tar ared e at a fair numb er of milk kabductees over Frosted Flakes; ccarton ar a ton ab bductees d o ver yyour o our Fr osted d Flak l kes; e obviously didn’t frighten you. ob bvviously that didn n’’t frig ghten n you y . You grew suburbs live Y oou gr rew up in the subu urbs and now liv ve city. You provide details about in a cit ty. Y o ou pr rovvide no det tails a ab out background, raising middle-yyour o our back kgground, but ra aising a middle city moree ccommon class family in the cit ty is mor ommon 1980s. that’s now than in the 19 80s. If I that t’s a ﬂow yyou o ou happened have happ ened to go with, yyou’d o ou’d ha ave some

legitimate basis b ffor o or yyour o our rrosy ossy vie view w of yyour o our childhood—crimewise, more childho od— —crimeew wise, cities rremain emain e mor re dangerous suburbs.. F For danger ous than t suburbs or eexample, xample x , drop New York City, despite the crime dr rop o in N ew Y o ork Cit ty, as of 2012 the violent crime rate ther theree w was aas 57 percent higher New York State. p erceent hig gher than ffor o or N ew Y ork o St tate a . People always good were Peeople alw waays think the go od old days w eerre You weree unc unconscious bbetter. ettteer. Y ou o wer w onscious of the dangers around ar round o yyou ou u as a child; yyou’re ou’rre acutely aaware waarre of them as a par parent. Have asked rent. e Ha ave yyou ou eever ver ask ked e parents risky they your par entts how risk ky the ey ffelt eelt the world was 1980s? w as a during the 19 80s? The it it’s-more-dangerous-today ’ss-m morree-dangerrous-t o today meme had psyche bbecome eccoome embedded oollectiv ve ps syyche bbyy embedded in the ccollective nothing that’s happened sincee has 1970 and no thing that ’s happ ened sinc sufficient bbeen een sufficien nt ttoo rroot oot it out. This gets to the heart matter, myy opinion. L Lenore hear rt of thee mat ttterr, in m enorre Skenazy argue likes Sk kenaz e zy ccan an n ar rggue all she lik kees that things are worse they weree in 1970. ar re no wors se now than the ey wer people The fact rremains mains that in 1970 p eople em thought thee world had gone to hell, and statistically speaking had—crime st atisticcally a sp eaking it had— crime had more seven mor re than doubled in jjust se eveen yyears. ears. The ccase bee made that rrelaxed ase a ccan an a b elaxed childrearing practices 1963 childr cees prior to 19 earingg practic 63 been possible byy an unusual had b een made m p ossible b circumstances. First, cconjunction o onjunction n of cir cumstances. F irst, crime may have been in the 1950ss ma ay ha ave b een eexceptionally xxceptionally byy histo historical standards. Meanwhile, low b oriccaal st tandar a ds. Mean nwhile w , the baby boom was bab by b oom mw aas in full sswing w wing and families weree lar large; frazzled parents choicee wer rge; g fraz zled par rents e had no choic the play but to let th he kids go out and pla ay without supervision, anyway theree w was safety sup ervision n, and an nyw yway ther as a saf feetty numbers. in numb erss. By 1970 this was true.. The t w aas no longer true seemed, was, world seem med, and demonstrably w aas, a more dangerous place. point mor re dange erous plac e. ((The The T turning p oint perception arguably was in terms of public p erceeption ar rguably g w aas the widely publicized 1964 murder Kitty p 19 64 mur der of Kit tty Genovese, Geno ovese, st sstabbed abbed to death outside her Brooklyn apartment neighbors Br rooklyn ap partment while her neighb ors screams. rreportedly ep e orrttedly ignor iignored ed her scr eams. It later several neighbors turned out se eveeral neighb ors had in fact stepped help,, but ne newspaper stepp ed in to t help ewspap w er editors distorted the story, support distor ted th he stor y, seemingly to supp orrt narrative.) a grim-city-life grim-citty--lif -lliffe narrativ ve.) Smaller ll families f ili easier parents hover. made it easi ier ffor or par o rents e to ho over. In shor short, whatever childhood t, whate eveer yyour o our childho od was like, w as a lik ke, thee notion that the world at large more dangerous lar rgge is mor re danger rous o than when yyou o ou weree yyoung It’s wer o oungg has no basis in rreality. ealitty. It ’s just the cconventional on nveenttional wisdom passed along unchallenged unchalleng ged ffor or o going on 50 yyears. eears.

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FREE W WILL ILLL A ASTROLOGY STROLOGY ARIESS (Mar ARIE (March ch 21-April 19): KKeith eith Moon played drums ffor or the rrock ock band the Wh Who. o. He was once voted the second-gr eatest drummer in history second-greatest history.. But his erratic behavior,r, often pr provoked er ratic behavior ovoked by drugs or alcohol, interfered sometimes interf ered with his aabilities. bilities. In 1973, the Who San Francisco was doing a live concert near Sa an Fr ancisco when the tranquilizer hadd taken earlier caused horse tr anquilizer that Moon ha appealed him to pass out. The band appea aled to the audience ffor or "Can drums?" help. "C an anybody play the dru ms?" asked guitarist Pete somebody P ete TTownshend. oownshend. "I mean someb body good?" A 19-yearScot volunteered. old amateur drummer named Sc cot Halpin volunteer ed. show.. I suspect that He played well enough to ﬁnish the show sometime soon, Aries, you may also get an unexpected opportunity to play the rrole ole of a substitute. Be rready! eady! TAURUS T AURUS (April 20-May 20): The T weta is a very lar large ge

Zealand. lookss like a insect whose habitat is New Zea aland. It look grasshopper, rrobotic obotic gr asshopper, with giant black eyes on a long enlarged bearing ﬂoppy, rred ed fface, ace, enlar ged hind legs bea ring spikes, and ﬂoppy y, oversized antennae. The native Maori people call it "the things."" Please note god of the ugly things. n that this is a term nott "the most monstr monstrous of rrespect. espect. The weta's title is no ous things,"" or "the wors worst" of the ugly things, st" or "the scariest" or things."" Rather Rather,r, the "the most worthless of the ugly things. highest, hest, the best, the most Maori say it's the god—the hig glorious. I suspect that in the co coming oming days, TTaurus, aurus, a you will have a close encounter withh your own version of a "god of ugly things. ddeserve ve your love and things."" Doesn't it deser welcome?

GEMINI (May 2121-June June 20): YYou oouu have successfully

made the tr ansition fr om br ooding caterpillar to social transition from brooding butterfly ur full, fluttery glory y, butterfly.. Soon you will be in you your glory, never lingering too long with onee thought, one friend, or one identity. identity. Some heavy-duty y, le evel-headed stalwarts heavy-duty, level-headed might wish you would be mor moree earthy e and anchor anchored, ed, but I don't share share their concern. A or now w, having Att least ffor now, a long attention span is over overrated. rateed. YYou oou have enter entered ed the fidgety, fidgety y, inquisitive part of your ccycle, ycle, when flitting and flirting and flickering make perf perfect e sense. ect

CANCER (June 2121-July July 22): On Only nly one ffear ear is worthy

enough of you. Only one ffear ear is rreal eal enou ugh and important enough to awaken and activate the numb part of your now,, I sugges suggest intelligence. So ffor or now st that you rretire etire all garbage lesser ffears. ears SStuff ears. tuff them in a garb bage bag and hide them brave in a closet. Then put on your br a champion fface, ave ace, gather the allies and rresources esources you y need, and go fforth orth Wrestle into glorious battle. W restle withh your one ffear. ear. Reason necessary, and with it. If necessary y, use guile an nd trickery to gain an inspiration advantage. CCall all on divine inspir a ation and be a wickedly good truth-teller truth-teller.. And this is cru crucial: ucial: Use your ffear ear to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence.

CUBESOULS CUBES SOULS

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LLEO EO (July 23 23-Aug. -Aug. 22): In the co coming oming nights, try to ground see your shadow as it's cast on the gr ound by the moon. Not by the sun, mind you. you. Look Look for for the shadow that's made by the light of the moon. m It might sound ffarfetched, arfetched, but I suspect this exp experience perience will have a subconscious potent impact on your subconsc cious mind. It may jostle loose secr secrets ets that you have bee been n hiding fr from om yourself yourself.. emotions I bet it will give you access to em motions and intuitions you have been rrepressing. epressing. It could cou uld also help you realize realize that some of the deep, dark stuf stuff ff you wr wrestle estle with is not bad and scary, scaryy, but rather rather fertile ferrtile and fascinating. fascinating. VIRGO VIR GO (Aug. 23 23-Sept. -Sept. 22): Thee ancient Gr Greek eek

statesman Demosthenes was rregarded e ded as a supremely egar supremely skilled orator. orator. His speeches were were so powerful that he was compar compared ed to a "blazing thu thunderbolt." underbolt." And yet as awkwardly. a youngster he spoke awkwar dly. His voice was weak and his enunciation weir weird. d. TToo tr transform a orm himself ansf himself,, he drastic measures. took dr astic measur es. He put ppebbles ebbles in his mouth to words great fforce orce himself to fformulate ormulate his wor w ds with gr eat care. care. He rrecited ecited poems as he rran an up and a down hills. A Att the beach, he learned to outshout the thhe pounding surf surf.. Take Taake inspiration inspir ation from from him, Virgo. Virgo. Now w would be an excellent strenuous time ffor or yyou to pplan and launch str enuous efforts efforts that accomplish will enable you to eventually acc complish one of your long-range long-r ange goals.

LIBRA (Sept. 23 23-Oct. -Oct. 22): LLong-distance ongg-distance ﬂirtations may soon be just around around the corner corner or across across the street. Remote possibilities ar street. aree taking short cuts as they head your way. way. I swear the far far horizon and the lucky lucky stars seem closer than usu usual. ual. Is it all a mir mirage? age? Some of it may be, but at least a part of it is very real. real. If you want to be ready ready to seize s the surprising opportunities that show up in your yoour vicinity, vicinityy, I suggest

By y ROB ROB BREZSNY week of M May ay 27

you make yourse elf as innocent and expansive as yourself possible. Drop Drop any anny jaded attitudes you may be harboring. Let the thhe future future know that you are are prepared prepared to rreceive eceive a ﬂood ﬂood of beauty, beautyy, truth, and help.

SCORPIO SC ORPIO (Oc (Oct. ct. 23-Nov. 23-Nov. 21): I suspect that mar marriages riages

of convenience will w begin to wither away unless they evolve into bonds bondds of affection. affection. Connections that have primarily acquiree been ffed ed primar ily on fun and games must acquir moree ballast. In ffact, mor act, I rrecommend ecommend that you rre-evaluate e-evaluate all your contr contracts actts and agr agreements. eements. How ar aree they serve working ffor or you?? Do they still ser ve the purpose you want them to? Iss it time to acknowledge that they transformed have tr ansformeed and need to be rreconﬁgured? econﬁgured? Ass you take inve inventory, A entoryy, be both tough-minded and compassionate.

SSAGITTARIUS AGITT TA ARIU US (Nov (Nov.. 22 22-Dec. -Dec. 21): P Petrarch etrarch was an 14th-century inﬂuential 14thcentury Italian poet whose main work was Song Book. It's a collection of 366 poems, most of which are are dedicated deddicated to Laura, Laura, the woman he loved. For 40 years he churned out testaments of longing and appreciation appreciation n for for her, her, despite the fact fact that he and she never spent sppent time together. together. She was married married to another man, and was wr wrapped apped up in raising raising her eleven childr children. Petrarch en. Should we judge P etrarch harshly ffor or choosing a musee who was so unavailable? I don't. Muse-choosing is a mysterious and sacred sacred process process that transcends transcends logic. I'm bringing the subject to your attention because in your becausse you're yyou're enteringg a new phase p y relationship relationship with h muses. It's either time to choose a new one (or two?) twoo?) or else adjust your bonds with your current current muses. CAPRICORN CAPRIC ORN N (Dec. 22 22-Jan. -Jan. 19): "The soul moves in

cir cles," said the ancient Greek Greek philosopher Plotinus. circles," Modern psycholo ogist James Hillmans agreed, agreed, and psychologist added this thought: thougght: "Hence our lives are are not moving str aight ahead; iinstead, nstead, hovering, wavering, returning, returning, straight rrenewing, enewing, rrepeating." epeating." I bring this to your attention, CCapricorn, apricorn, because becauuse you're you're now in an extra-intense extra-intense phase of windingg and rrambling. ambling. This is a good thing! YYou oou ar sppiraling back to get another look at aree spiraling inter esting teachings teachhings you didn't master the ﬁrst time interesting ar ound. YYou oou are are building on past efforts efforts that weren't weren't around. str strong ong enough. Your Yoour words words of power are are cr crooked, ooked, gyr raate, t cur vyy, lab llabyrinthine bbyrinthine i thi , andd cork gyrate, curvy, corkscrew kscrew w.

AQUARIUS A QUARIUS (Jan. ( 20-Feb. 18): It's no coincidence a your mojo ar that your libido and aree booming at the our o libido is in the midst of a deep, same time. YYour ng, which is gener ating a surplus of hearty awakenin awakening, generating potent, super-fin super-fine ne mojo. And your surplus of potent, super-fine mojo is in turn inciting your libido's even deeper, deeperr, heartier awakening. Ther Theree may be times in the coming week wh when aree living with a hen you ffeel eel like you ar ong as you keep the cr eature well-f ed wild animal. A Ass llong creature well-fed okedd, it should pr ovide you with lots of and well-str well-stroked, provide vigorous, vigorous, even bboisterous oisterous fun. PISCESS (Feb. 19-Mar PISCE 19-March ch 20): "I always ar arrive rive late

at the ofﬁce, butt I make up ffor or it by leaving early y," early," quipped 19th 19th-ce ceentury English author Charles Lamb. Lamb 19th-century I invite you to ad adopt dopt that br breezy, eezyy, lazy attitude in the coming week s. It t's high time ffor or you to slip into a very weeks. It's comfortable, comf ortable, laid laidback dback mood . . . to give yourself a lot of slack, explor exploree the mysteries of dr dreamy eamy indolence, and quiet down the chirpy voices in your head. Even if you can't liter a call in sick to your job and spend ally literally a ffew ew days wand wandering dering fr free, ee, do everything you can to claim as much lo ow-pressure, unhur ried spaciousness low-pressure, unhurried as possible.

Homework: Y Your o Futur our Futuree Self comes to you and says, "You "You must get rid of two beliefs that ar aree holding holdiing you back." back." What are are they? Testify T estify e at FreeWillAstrology.com. FreeeWillAstrologyy..com.

Go to REALASTROLOGY.COM to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. Audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

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Meow! A cosplayer fr Meow! from rom F FANIMECON ANIMECON 2015 took to o the catwalk for a group of photog graphers. photographers.

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