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A look k back back at the th he news, ne ews, music m music,, mem memes, mes, ffood, ood,, pla p plays ays o off 2 2010 0 0 01

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Serving S er ving Sonoma, Sonoma, Napa Napa & Marin n Counties›;<:<D9<I)0#)'('$A8EL8IP+#)'((›Yf_\d`Xe%Zfd› Counties › ;<:<D9<I)0# )'('$A8EL8IP +# )'((› Yf_\ \d`Xe%Zfd ›

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WINE WIN NE NO NOTES OT OT TES San Francisco, Napa & Sonoma Valley December 26-31

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Standing in solidarity with Wikileaks By Will Shonbrun

0

s many now know, Wikileaks is a website through which whistleblowers can deposit documented information leaked from government and corporate sources. The secret data is then offered to newspapers of note for publication. Governments claim that the classified information, if made known, can put the national security of the state as well as individual agents in jeopardy. It is also commonly argued that release of secret information to the general public can act against the interests of the state. What has happened as a result of the leaks is that the public, here and abroad, has gotten to see the extent of how its governments act in secrecy. In some cases, potentially criminal acts have been exposed, along with embarrassing lies in the case of State Department leaks. In all cases, the truth about military operations and State Department dealings has been exposed for public scrutiny. Considering that our government can label or classify all of this information or any information it so chooses as secret gets to the heart of the matter. We, the public, are only told what our government wants us to know, and it arbitrarily decides what it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want us to know. Therefore, our government can operate in secrecy and conduct its wars and foreign policy in total secrecy. Is this how a democracy is supposed to work? There are grounds for maintaining secrecy if there is an existing threat to a nation. There are grounds for secrecy when transparency jeopardizes the safety of individuals. But if this is not the case, as so maintained by Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange, then why is the government acting in secret on such an enormous scale and keeping the public in the dark? Where is the transparency and the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right to know how its representatives are acting and what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;in our name? It is claimed by Wikileaks that all names of personnel or data that could put individuals in jeopardy are redacted before release to newspapers. Wikileaks didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t publish the purloined information; international newspapers of note did. Wikileaks didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t steal the documents from its sources; it simply gave the information to the papers, who in turn

published it. The information itself has come from whistle-blowers. What has Wikileaks, its founders or operatives, done that is illegal? Reveal the truth about two wars and the lies of its government? Without whistle-blowers like Daniel Ellsberg, who revealed the Pentagon papers during the Vietnam years, and former health insurance executive Wendell Potter, who exposed the truth about how his and other insurance companies actually operate, the publicâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interest, safety and well being is dismissed. In the case of Vietnam, it meant that tens of thousands of American lives were put in mortal jeopardy. In the case of health-insurance companies who refused coverage or refused claims, tens of millions of people were also put in mortal jeopardy. These are brutal facts and consequences of the deadly secrets and outright lies perpetrated by our government and our corporate health insurance industry. Is this democracy in action? Some in governmentâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; Sens. Joe Lieberman and Diane Feinstein, to name but twoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;are calling for Julian Assangeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s head. Some media mouthpieces are screaming from the bleachers to destroy him. Once again hysteria and mob rule raises its ugly head in America as weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen so many times before. Kill the messenger! Destroy the traitor and any who support his actions! Off with their heads! Well, I support and admire what Assange and the others at Wikileaks have done. I want the truth about what my government is doing. I want to know what is going on in secret behind my back and in my name. My government is killing people in (at least) two wars and some of our corporations are killing people at home by condemning them to death from disease and medical neglect. I applaud anyone who will pull back the curtain and show us the truth in this so-called democracy. We have been kept in the dark for far too long, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to let in the light. When they come to crucify him for unveiling the truth, I hope I will have the courage to stand and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I am Assange!â&#x20AC;?

Is this how a democracy is supposed to work?

Will Shonbrun is a writer who lives in Sonoma. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.

THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

05


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I was greatly saddened by Molly Wolf â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Open Mic column (â&#x20AC;&#x153;When Honesty Unravels,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 22). I was forced out of my job as teacher of English as a second language in the Tamalpais Union High School District by small-minded, ignorant and overpaid administrators, and know what it feels like to try to make a difference in public service, only to be thwarted in the effort. It was not that long ago that as a lifelong Democrat I believed in government. No more. I havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t gone over to the Republican dark side, but my belief that government can actually work has been severely shaken. I wish Ms. Wolf only the best in her efforts to both be of service and maintain her integrity.

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Adding further to the mounting problems facing our state, Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s credit rating is the lowest in the nation. The state pays a 1.1 percent interest rateâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; 1.1 percent higher than other statesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;which leads to an added $12 billion in interest to pay off $54 billion in debts. Jerry Brownâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s newly named controller, John Chiang, says the state does not appear to be facing a cash crisis through the end of the fiscal year, but thereafter, â&#x20AC;&#x153;we see a very different story.â&#x20AC;? Rich people have borrowed themselves into debts that they can never repay. Poor people have done the same. Middle-class people have done the same. So if the slightest little thing gets out of balance or goes off in any way, the whole thing crashes like a bunch of dominoes! Everyone loses, except the ones who loaned the money and now own everything. The

mortgages that were sold to banks, pension funds and investors were packaged in such a complex way that they practically defied understanding. As a result, many financial firms arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even sure how much money theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve lost yetâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or how much the remainder of their mortgage-backed assets are worth.

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B7>2:430C=4F;>F Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to add my support for Leilani Clarkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s article about that horrible mailer likening all immigrants to murderers (â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Fallout of Fear, Postage Paid,â&#x20AC;? Dec. 15). Unfortunately, fearmongering is a reality of elections, but I was shocked at this new low. After reading your article, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m even more frustrated at the way Torliattâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s statements were blatantly twisted. Thank you to the Bohemian for offering a different light on this issue.

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6<>;014;8=6=>F Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s high time that the Food and Drug Administration require proper labeling on food products containing items that have been genetically modified. The United States needs to quickly follow the lead of the European Union, Japan and other nations that have guidelines requiring mandatory labeling of genetically modified foods. Many companies have started labeling their own foods â&#x20AC;&#x153;Non-GMO,â&#x20AC;? but this is done at the companiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; discretion, not as an effort by the FDA. How are we supposed to make educated choices without proper labeling? The American public deserves access to information that will help avoid ingesting potentially harmful and possibly even life-threatening products that havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t been properly analyzed and studied.

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news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties

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6>8=6>DCF8C7010=6 If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re gonna retire soon anyway, you might as well request federal funds for a handful of worthy North Bay projects.

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Rep. Lynn Woolsey earmarks the heck out of the 2011 budget By Paul Wagner

C

wenty-eleven. The Year of the Rabbit, in the Chinese lunar calendar (emphasis: diplomacy). The International Year of Forests and the Year of Chemistry, says the United Nations. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also the year that Lynn Woolsey, 10term representative whom the Bohemian has consistently endorsed, may well announce her retirement. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made no secret of the fact that at 73, having served 20 consecutive years in the House, she may be ready for some rest and relaxation by 2012. Meanwhile, if incoming House and Senate GOPs stick to their word, this may be the Year of Last-Ever Earmarks. After all, earmarks are very unpopularâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;except, of course, when they fund our districts. The wasteful funds funneling into those other

434 districts? Unnecessary and unjustifiable. Criminal, in fact. Always has been; the term â&#x20AC;&#x153;eare-markeâ&#x20AC;? (circa 1590) originally meant â&#x20AC;&#x153;a cut or mark in the ear of sheep and cattle, serving as a sign of ownership (also a punishment of certain criminals).â&#x20AC;? Apparently, earmarks have always, among decent people, been associated with criminality. Especially within the brandspanking-new congressional Tea Party Caucus, which has condemned them as brazenly unconstitutional and whose members then promptly requested $1 billion worth of them. But since this may be the last chance the honorable Ms. Woolsey ever gets to marke any eares, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take a look at what may be her last-ever special funding requests. Namely, the earmarks sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attached to the proposed 2011 federal budget. Of which there are 84. Immediately remarkable about Woolseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s list is how many medical and

health-oriented requests there are. For example, we find an $812,050 request for â&#x20AC;&#x153;Equipment to Further Geroscience, Study of the Connection Between Aging and Disease.â&#x20AC;? It would purchase an iSeq 2000 device, whose maker lists it as â&#x20AC;&#x153;the first commercially available sequencer to enable researchers to obtain 30x coverage of two human genomes in a single run for under $10,000 per sample.â&#x20AC;? Pretty slick. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also a $250,000 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Geriatric Specialty, Community Outreach and Educationâ&#x20AC;? program for Sonoma Valley Hospital. And a $1 million â&#x20AC;&#x153;Geroscience Demonstration Prevention Studyâ&#x20AC;? looking into â&#x20AC;&#x153;mechanisms by which common disease prevention measuresâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;dietary restriction, exercise and stress reductionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;affect aging and health outcomes.â&#x20AC;? But thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s solid brick-and-mortar stuff, too. Woolsey has asked for $775,000 in funds for a public health outreach %-

Ă&#x2020;>eaVnigVY^i^dcVa^chigjbZciha^`Zi]ZWVc_d! Wji^iĂ&#x2030;hbdgZd[VhiViZd[b^cYVgdjcYi]Zbjh^X!Ă&#x2021; hVnh9naVc;anccVWdjii]Z^che^gVi^dc]ZĂ&#x2019;cYh ^cĂ&#x2020;i]ZgVl]dcZhind[daY"i^bZ#Ă&#x2021;6Ă&#x2019;ii^c\VYY^i^dc idi]ZCdgi]7Vn=ddiZcVccngZk^kVa!i]Z')"nZVg" daY[da`bjh^X^VcYZX^YZYidViiZcYXdaaZ\Z^c 6h]Zk^aaZ!C#8#!VhVlVnidWZXdbZeVgid[ ^ihHdji]Zgc6eeVaVX]^VĂ&#x201E;^cĂ&#x201C;jZcXZYdaY"i^bZ bjh^XhXZcZ!Zk^YZcidc;anccĂ&#x2030;hcZlgZaZVhZ I]ZIgdjWaZl^i]8Vg^c\#GZXdgYZYdck^ciV\Z VcVad\Zfj^ebZciVcYeg^ciZYdcVijgc"d["i]Z" XZcijgn8]VbWZgaV^cEg^ci^c\EgZhh!i]ZVaWjb iV`Zh;anccĂ&#x2030;hVYdgVi^dcd[daYZcVZhi]Zi^XhidV cZlaZkZa#6[iZgĂ&#x2019;c^h]^c\]^hVaWjb!]ZhdaYbdhi d[]^hedhhZhh^dch!higVeeZYVWVc_did]^hWVX` VcY]deeZYdc]^hW^`Z!iV`^c\i]gZZbdci]h idg^YZhdad[gdbCdgi]8Vgda^cVidBVg^c#Ă&#x2020;>Ă&#x2030;kZ ]VYVcVkZgh^dcid[dhh^a[jZah[dgVadc\i^bZ!Ă&#x2021; hVnh;anccWne]dcZ#Ă&#x2020;>lVciZYidaVnd[[i]Z\Vh [dgVl]^aZVcYhZZi]Z^c"WZilZZceVgihd[i]Z Xdjcign#Ă&#x2021;6adc\i]ZlVn]ZeVhhZYdji89hid [g^ZcYh!\diXVj\]i^cVgV^chidgbVcYlVhe^X`ZY jeWnVb^aa^dcV^gZaVcYhXVeZVgX]^iZXi!VcY hiVnZYi]Zc^\]i^cV]^hidg^X_V^a#HZZ;ancc\Zi Ydlc&.i]"XZcijgnhinaZdcIjZhYVn!?Vc#)!Vii]Z HaZZe^c\AVYn8V[Z!'(7gdVYlVn!;V^g[Vm#.eb# ;gZZ#)&*#)-*#&&-'# Ă&#x2026;AZ^aVc^8aVg`

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program in Marin City, $215,500 to build a new clinic in Santa Rosa, $8 million for an integrated hospital information system, $3 million for an electronic records system for the Palm Drive Hospital District and another $1 million for a web-based patient portal. And, reflecting the troublingly high incidence of breast cancer in the region, the list includes digital mammography equipment for the St. Joseph Health System ($300,000), as well as for Marin Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; specific breast cancer research ($500,000). Woolsey has also asked for funding to aid several oft-ignored populations. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nearly $1 million to solidify state action on the trafficking of women and girls. Helping women and families become more independent is the point of her proposed $400,000 program of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Economic Self Sufficiency for Low-Income Women Entrepreneurs.â&#x20AC;? And a $110,000 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Enhanced Direct Services to Sexual Assault Survivorsâ&#x20AC;? earmark would expand the Santa Rosa program to aid adult survivors as well. Perhaps the most creatively remarkable is a program titled â&#x20AC;&#x153;Breaking the Intergenerational Cycle of Incarceration.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Funding,â&#x20AC;? says Project Avary, the Novato-based group that proposes it, â&#x20AC;&#x153;will be used to improve youth outcomes for children of incarcerated parents through earlier intervention, more rigorous prevention training for preadolescent children ages eight to 10, and training for independent living for teens.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quite a bit of compassionate intervention for $143,275. Woolseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next largest set of earmarks is for transportation improvements. They include compressed natural gas buses for Sonoma County at $2 million, and hybrid models for the city of Santa Rosa for $2.58 million. Also included is $25 million for Golden Gate Bridge seismic retrofits; $5 million for Sausalito Ferry ramps and gangways; $1.1 million each for spiffing up Highway 101 and the Highway 116/121 roundabout; $3.4 million to add some spit and polish (including bicycle overcrossings) to the Marin-Sonoma narrows; $2.24 million in shuttles for the Muir Woods; $5 million for commuter rail construction; $3.6 million for the Pacific Way Bridge; andâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;wave of the futureâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a $374,000 electrical vehicle fleet and charging station for the Sonoma County Transportation Authority. Ever committed to the environment, Woolsey also includes green enhancements as a large sector of earmarks, most involving water. These include requests to fund hydrometering, flooding studies, pipelines, canal dredging, watershed and river restoration, improved lake access, more detailed collection of coastal data and a gigantic $5 million water research project studying â&#x20AC;&#x153;the impacts of pharmaceutical/ EDCs in water . . . drought response, desalination, wastewater reuse . . . and treating water contaminants.â&#x20AC;? Which of these will actually pass and be signed into law? Nobody knows. As of this writing, GOP senator Mitch McConnell has succeeded in rallying his troops to vote down the current 2011 federal budget proposal because roughly 1 percent of it is made up of, yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;know, earmarksâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;including $85 million of his ownâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just intolerable. Stay tuned for interesting times. The Year of the Rabbit has not yet begun to hop.


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Why do Grouponâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s descriptions make no sense? By Daedalus Howell

3

eal-of-the-day website Groupon might have passed on Googleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s multibillion dollar acquisition offer, but it hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forgone using the online search engine and advertising empireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s documenthosting services. In particular, Google Docs hosts a memorandum entitled the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Public Groupon Voice Guide,â&#x20AC;? which details, with embarrassing clarity, â&#x20AC;&#x153;principlesâ&#x20AC;? apparently â&#x20AC;&#x153;intended to help new and applying writers learn Grouponâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s signature writing style.â&#x20AC;? No doubt all commerce sites need web copy, but Groupon evidently needs its copy to adhere to a house style so purple it suggests a necrotizing soft-tissue infection. Consider this recent Groupon write-up for a discounted stay at Sonoma bed and breakfast MacArthur Place: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Statistically, the home is the place youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower, get sexually harassed by a pet or suffer a heart attack while trying to fit into a heated oven. Escape that horrible deathtrap with todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Groupon for a stay for two at MacArthur Place in Sonoma.â&#x20AC;? Yes, this was Grouponâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actual verbatim description (itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s since been changed). Groupon, a portmanteau that grafts â&#x20AC;&#x153;groupâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;coupon,â&#x20AC;? operates as its name suggestsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;by partnering with local retailers to offer its subscribers discounted fees when a predetermined number of people sign up for the deal. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a form of assurance contract whereby all participants benefit, which, theoretically, mitigates the risk for the retailer who can leverage the coupon as a quantity discount. Of course, Groupon takes a cut of resulting sales. What differentiates Groupon from the horde of copycats in this sector is its deft branding and user-friendly interface, which since 2008 has attracted over 40 million users as well as a salivating Google that 30-year-old Groupon CEO Andrew Mason (a recent Forbes poster child) famously rebuffed this month. So how is it that Mason feels confident turning down $6 billion after a mere two years in business? Perhaps the answer lies in the glib lingo his company prefers over the more sober corporate-speak that defines the parlance of Silicon Valley. According to the document, Groupon has a sense of humorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;or at least something it believes is humor. Under the title â&#x20AC;&#x153;Humor Devices that work well in Groupon Voiceâ&#x20AC;? are such axioms as â&#x20AC;&#x153;absurd images,â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;sweeping, dramatic nonsenseâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;the absurd narrator.â&#x20AC;? These are buttressed by examples like

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Humankind has been playing with fire for years; now we can harness the bronzing essence of the fiery sun in a gentle mist, proving once and for all our dominance over the weak, inanimate solar system.â&#x20AC;? Why? Because one personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s absurdity is anotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s marketing copy, and Groupon has diligently codified its secret sauce, lest applying writers misinterpret the meaning of â&#x20AC;&#x153;absurd.â&#x20AC;? Others include â&#x20AC;&#x153;hypothetical worlds/outcomesâ&#x20AC;? such as this chestnut: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Without goals, no one would unicycle the Appalachian Trail or train a flock of carrier pigeons to deliver meat pies to unsuspecting haberdashers.â&#x20AC;? Though Grouponâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;signature writing styleâ&#x20AC;? might challenge oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s definition of both â&#x20AC;&#x153;writingâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;style,â&#x20AC;? its fake proverbs, mixed metaphors and intentionally errant take on history (â&#x20AC;&#x153;When strongmen of the past wanted to show their superhuman brawn, they coddled kettlebells or other potentially stronger strongmenâ&#x20AC;?) are arguably â&#x20AC;&#x153;signature,â&#x20AC;? if not downright annoying to other online scribes. On her blog The Conical Glass, Bay Area indie record label owner Sue Trowbridge has rued the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Grouponeseâ&#x20AC;? as nausea-inducing and â&#x20AC;&#x153;yucky.â&#x20AC;? In a post entitled â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Worst Writing Job in the World,â&#x20AC;? Trowbridge recounts researching the genesis of Grouponâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tortured prose only to discover a helpwanted ad on its site that invites applicants to submit a sample write-up for a shot at a $40,000 salary and possible relocation to its Chicago headquarters. Ever game, Trowbridge attempted her own Groupon-styled translation of a favorite restaurant newsletter but gave up after some twisted verbiage. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ugh, I feel dirty now,â&#x20AC;? she signed off. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather make my living writing those fake letters to Penthouse.â&#x20AC;? For some, including Trowbridge, penning garrulous crap for a web discounter might epitomize the death of modern prose. For others, it might be a dream job with full benefits. Though Andrew Masonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s business might be changing the face of local commerce, its colorful product plugs likely wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t affect the world of letters anymore than jingles have affected music. That said, if Mason added stock options to his benefit package and courted another multibillion dollar acquisition deal, be assured more than a few professional writers might consider tossing his salad with the croutons of capital whilst forging phonemes on the velveteen anvil of loathsome lingo.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The home is the place youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

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Which one do the kids get to drink from?

By Juliane Poirier

8

remember those water fountains from childhood. At the park, the water tasted funny and was always warm. And at school, if the boys spit in the trough portion of the fountain, I could always run the water long enough to imagine that I was getting a clean drink. At one school in Los Angeles, there was a gang that â&#x20AC;&#x153;ownedâ&#x20AC;? the area around one water fountain, so I had to walk out of my way to sip on a hot day. But at least we had water. My high school in Sonoma County had great drinking fountains because it was newly constructed and adequately funded. Some kids arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t so lucky. Jackson Browne wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind my borrowing the name of his song above for the cause today, nor the lyrics from another of his songs: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shaking like an angry child will / Who has asked for love and is unanswered still.â&#x20AC;? If Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children are asking for water too, the impoverished ones have a right to be even angrier. Every child deserves love and fresh, clean water to drink. While the love ingredient canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be legislated, accessibility to clean water can. So the good news for these kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;especially those attending the poorest of Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s underfunded public schoolsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;is that the diabetes-promoting, corn-syrup-beverage vending machines are on the way out. The bad news is that there isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always water around to take the place of the junk beverages. In a recent survey of those who run school lunch programs, 40 percent of responses reported that there was no water available for students. No teaching freedom, no music and no art programs is one thingâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;but no water? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been a movement to get sugary drinks out of the school cafeterias, but no effort toward a replacement,â&#x20AC;? Kumar Chandran, who works at the California Food Policy Advocates in Oakland, tells me, â&#x20AC;&#x153;so weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re working on making more water available.â&#x20AC;? According to Chandran, things are looking up. Gov. Schwarzenegger sponsored a bill that would require school districts to provide fresh water to students beginning in 2011; however,

the law includes an opt-out for schools without the funds to provide the water. Of course, those schools are the ones that need the water the most, so it was fortunate that this month President Obama signed a national law that will achieve the same goal, only without an opt-out clause. This is good news for the poorer schools, where the need is greatest. Some school districts have responded by handing out bottled water with every school lunch, although critics of bottled water, including myself, see this as only a stop-gap solution. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not pushing bottled water,â&#x20AC;? said Chandran, â&#x20AC;&#x153;mostly because of environmental concerns and the fact that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more expensive. Distributing bottled water is not sustainable; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an interim solution. Tap water is clean, healthy and free, so there is no reason to be buying bottled water.â&#x20AC;? Groups that welcome this federal legislation include the Northcoast Nutrition and Fitness Collaborative (NNFC), whose members teach â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rethink Your Drinkâ&#x20AC;? lessons in Northern California schools. Research conducted by the NNFC revealed that â&#x20AC;&#x153;one-third of the 131 drinking fountains randomly assessed . . . were dirty or otherwise uninviting.â&#x20AC;? Problems with these water fountains included clogging from chewing tobacco, general litter and the growth of mold. More benign yet still unappealing was the presence of peeled enamel and water pressure so low you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get a sip. Almost half the students surveyed by NNFC expressed a preference for a sugarsweetened drink brought from home over a drink from a dirty water fountain. Of course, sweetened drinks contribute to obesity. Jennifer McClendon of the Network for a Healthy Californiaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;Northcoast Region points out that the North Coast faces an obesity epidemic. â&#x20AC;&#x153;An average of 25 percent of fifth-, seventh- and ninth-graders in the region are overweight,â&#x20AC;? she says, adding that water more than anything is the perfect drink. Sure, and love is the perfect gift, if you can get it. I think clean water is an expression of love when given to those who need it: children most at risk for life-shortening diseases from sugary beverages.

Clean water is an expression of love when given to those who need it.

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5Pa\;PfbP]SBTTSBRaP_b The year in food safety and legislation By Ari LeVaux

B

ome will argue that 2010 was the year that homemade sausage finally came of age or the year the schoolgarden movement exploded. Others will remember 2010 as the year KFCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Double Down sandwich made its glorious debut. With so many food preferences and priorities, one can hardly make an end-ofyear food list to please everyone, so lets start with what the people think. Some of them, anyway. A market research firm called Wakefield surveyed 1,000 Americans on what they felt was â&#x20AC;&#x153;the most significant food story of 2010.â&#x20AC;? Interestingly, the top three stories were threats to food safety: the impact of the BP oil spill on the seafood industry; the nationwide egg recall; and the recall of 35,000 pounds of beef when E. coli was detected at a Southern California distributor. This public perception makes SB 510, the food safety bill, especially timely. The bill finally got though Congress before being sent back on a technicality as part of a Republican endgame on tax cuts. The procedural snag could have

delayed the legislation into 2011, but last week, it passed through Congress with 10 Republicans in favor. Closely preceding the food safety bill, the landmark Child Nutrition Act was signed by Obama earlier this month. Another important policy move went down in February, when the USDA modified its organic standards for beef and dairy. The new â&#x20AC;&#x153;Access to Pastureâ&#x20AC;? rule, named after a longstanding loophole in organic standards, finally specified a minimum number of days per year that organic cattle must spend on pasture to qualify as organic. The requirement raises the bar especially for large producers trying to qualify as organic, forcing them to more truly live up to organic principles. For small milk and meat producers, and the consumers who are willing to pay a little extra for their product, this clarity in the law is welcome. In other bovine-related developments, the USDA has apparently gotten serious about investigating the many ways that unregulated pharmaceuticals are getting into our meat and dairy. An April report by the USDAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Office of the Inspector General called out its own agency for

its near total lack of oversight in recent decades and made recommendations for reform. In related news, the FDA finally released estimates, for the first time ever, of total antibiotic use in the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s livestock industry. In 2009, that figure was 29 million pounds, most of it for nontherapeutic use, to expedite weight gain, for instance. Such use is partly why thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an epidemic of antibioticresistant staph, or MRSA, in feedlots, and the report expresses the FDAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s newfound intention to curb antibiotic use in agriculture. Amid this climate of agency self-examination, my pick for the sleeper story of the year was broken by a Colorado beekeeper named Tom Theobald. Concerned about annual losses in his colonies that had grown to 40 percent, he began to suspect an agricultural chemical called clothianidin thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s used in area corn fields. The Bayer-patented neurotoxin has been used in seed coatings since 2003, though Bayerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s permission to market it was granted conditionally, dependent on the submission of evidence that it was safe for bees. Theobald tracked down a lengthy correspondence between Bayer and &) THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

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Supreme Quality and Worth!

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the EPA in which Bayer repeatedly stalled and EPA granted numerous extensions until Bayer finally conducted a study. That study was never released, and lay buried for years until Theobald, simply trying to figure out what happened to his bees, finally found it online. The study was conducted so poorly that the results could not be considered conclusive, or even indicative, that clothianidin used on corn is safe for local bees. Theobald wrote about this saga in Bee Culture in July of this year, and soon afterward received a phone call from the EPA saying his article had led to an internal investigation. That inquiry resulted in a Nov. 2 memo in which the EPA acknowledged the tragedy of errors that led to the continued permitted use of clothianidin, and acknowledged that scientists inside the EPA expressed bee-related concerns as early as 2003, partly because a similar pesticide had recently caused bee die-offs in Europe. Bees help pollinate about one-third of the food grown in the United States. Theobald says heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hardly the only beekeeper on the verge of having to fold the tent, because you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sustain that kind of colony loss for too long. Perhaps the beekeepers and their allies could use a few pages from the playbook of the Center for Food Safety, which has used the National Environmental Policy Act to stop the planting of genetically modified crops in places where they endanger the local environment and the livelihoods that depend on it. In one case, Monsanto appealed its way to the Supreme Court, each time losing to the argument that selling genetically modified alfalfa before the completion of an environmental impact study would endanger the rights of farmers to grow nongenetically modified alfalfa. In June, the Supreme Court demanded more USDA oversight and the completion of an environmental impact study before allowing the crop to be commercialized. Then in December, a federal judge took some sweetness out of Monsantoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sugar beet division by ordering that 258 very important acres of genetically modified sugar beets be destroyed. Currently, 95 percent of the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sugar beets are grown from Monsantoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Roundup Ready seeds. Monsanto produces its sugar beet seeds on several properties in Oregonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Willamette Valley. This happens to be the worst place in the entire country for that crop, because the risk of gene contamination there is so great. Judge Jeffrey White ruled that Monsanto was endangering neighboring, nongenetically modified seed industries by letting its genetically modified beets go to seed in the valley. How appropriate that seeds are the final topic of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recap. Because when we reconvene on the other side of the calendar, it will be time to think about spring planting. Prepare your tea and seed catalogues!


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THE BOHEMIAN

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140D;84D E8=4H0A3 ometimes high praise begins at a low bar. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know a lot about wine,â&#x20AC;? my confederate admits to our tasting-room host. When picking out a quick bottle to bring to a friend, however, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got it covered. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I turn to BV,â&#x20AC;? she explains, â&#x20AC;&#x153;because I know that I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be embarrassed.â&#x20AC;?

S

Frenchman Georges de Latour founded Beaulieu in 1900, surviving Prohibition through his ties with both Catholic and Jewish communities in San Francisco. In 1938, he recruited enologist AndrĂŠ Tchelistcheff, who became nearly more of a legend than the venerable winery itself. Owned today by spirits giant Diageo, the older wings of the voluminous complex house towering old redwood tanks, while the original stone winery is sequestered within, like an Altstadt in the heart of a metropolis. Beaulieu Vineyardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something-for-everyone lineup is arranged in coherent tiers. The Maestro Collection is an appellation-based varietal smorgasbord, including Marsanne, Muscat Cannelli and a bright, caramel-toned 2008 Ranch No. 8 Carneros Chardonnay ($32); Ranch No. 9 is lean with acacia and citrus. The 2007 San Benito South Hart Vineyard Grenache ($28) is the bright and easy-to-like product of 100-year-old vines, with sage over raspberry jam. The 2007 Beauzeaux Red Blend ($28) includes a bit of Charbono clowning around with Zinfandel and other friends, while both Ranch No. 1 and Ranch No. 2, 2007 Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon ($65) deliver plenty of dark toast, baking spices, milk chocolate and berries for the money. Fatter wallets must be toted a short distance over to the Reserve Room, where library wines back to 1970 are still on offer. ReďŹ ned texture is what the 2007 Tapestry ($60) is all about, that and a hint of cigar wrapper, marjoram and wild berries; while the 2005 Clone 4 Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon ($140) shows up the rest in the blueberries-and-cream department. Beaulieuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ&#x201A;agship 2007 Georges de Latour Cabernet Sauvignon ($125) has its own custom winery-within-awinery with some highly unusual practices: small oak barrels are ďŹ lled with crushed grapes, recoopered, sealed up and placed on gently arcing racks ďŹ tted with castors that allow each barrel to be hand-turned throughout fermentation. Flavors play second to tightly woven texture, and a distinctive nose of ďŹ nepestled herbs, sage, crushed rock . . . thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s some talk of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rutherford dust,â&#x20AC;? and this, friends, is it. Bring a bottle to your next soirĂŠe, and you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be embarrassed. Or pick up a bottle of sound and reliable BV Coastal Estates, just to be sure. Beaulieu Vineyard, 1960 St. Helena Hwy., Rutherford. Open daily, 10am to 5pm. Tasting fees $15â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$20; Reserve Room, $35. 707.967.5233.

James Knight

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THE BOHEMIAN

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THE BOHEMIAN


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2;>B4>=44H4 Didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we already try the 3D thing once, say, oh, about 60 years ago?

5a^\;TVP[FTTSc^C^dRWTS9d]Z A few of the highlightsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and lowlightsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;of 2010 By Bohemian Staff

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We thought our long journey in James Cameronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Avatar was at an end. But noâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;movie studios bent on capitalizing on the new hip thing followed Cameronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cash-printing film with a steady stream of 3D film releases right into our collective groans. In 2010, over 24 films were released in 3D, including Tim Burtonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Alice in Wonderland, the remake of Clash of the Titans, the return of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 3 and M. Night Shyamalanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s critically panned but financially successful Last Airbender. The yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s end sent us Step Up 3D, Jackass 3D, Saw 3D, Megamind 3D, Tangled 3D and Tron: Legacy 3D. Off the silver screen, 3D TV sets began popping up in big-box electronic stores. Of course, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need to fetch a special 3D Blu-Ray player paired with glassesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;regular Blu-Ray players wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cut it. After the upgrade, you can try to find a copy of Avatar 3D on Blu-Ray, but good luck (copies of it are going for $140 a pop on eBay). Then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s games: when paired with a 3D TV set, Sonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s PS3 delivers a full 3D experience. Games might just be the best place for 3D to off itself, actually. In 2011, Nintendo hopes to

make 3D pocketable with the Nintendo 3DS. The technology in the 3DS wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t require the use of glasses, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rumored to be much more powerful than the Wii, where a slew of familiar titles are being redeveloped. Also planned are 3D films slated to be released on the handheld 3DS. That is, if you still care by then. One thing is clear about the rise of 3D technology: everyone is waiting for that inevitable fall. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Rothtana Ouch

I]ZNZVgLZ6XX^YZciVaan<di;^abZYIV`^c\ 7dc\=^ih Xxmileycyrus! Dear fans, Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s me, Miley. So Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m tweeting 2 talk about this new video where I do a big bong load of salvia and start laughing really hard. 2:17 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web Xxmileycyrus! I had no idea it would b such a big hit! I mean the video, not the bong rip. I know it looks like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m smoking pot out of that bong. LOL! 2:19 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web Xxmileycyrus! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m totally not. Its totally salvia, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s totally legal in CA. There is a lot of confusion, so I just want to clear the air a little. 2:22 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web

Xxmileycyrus! Drugz r not cool, and U should NOT do them until U R at least 18 like me. 2:24 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web Xxmileycyrus! But if you want to do salvia you should do it soon, because all of your moms want to make it illegal now! Total bummer. 2:27 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web Xxmileycyrus! Anyway, it broke my dads <3 2 C me taking bong hits, but I was just like: Dad, I cant be tamed. Peace, luv (sic) Miley 2:29 a.m. December 15, 2010 via mobile web â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Kylie Mendonca

I]ZNZVgLZLZgZIdd7jhnIV`^c\7dc\=^ihid AZ\Va^oZBVg^_jVcV Dude, California almost legalized pot this year! What a boon to the overall health of Californians that would have been, except that people who actually smoke pot didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t show up to the polls. Proposition 19 failed '% THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

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by just 3.6 percent statewideâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the potheadsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fault. Younger voters, historically fickle at the polls but overwhelmingly liberal, were predictably absent at this midterm election. Perhaps they were under the mistaken impression that pot is already legal in California, or perhaps they just stayed home to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force and eat peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Most likely the latter. And what about the green pastures of Humboldt, Trinity and Mendocino counties, the so-called Emerald Triangle of marijuana cultivation? Only about 50 percent of eligible voters in those counties could even find their way to the polls, and the ones who did show up were either confused or didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want Big Brother pinching out of their stash. All three counties rejected Prop. 19 like it was some brown swag from Mexico full of seeds and stems. In their defense, fall is a busy season for folks in Northern California. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Kylie Mendonca

I]ZNZVgLZ6g\jZY6Wdji7^XnXaZh[dg HdbZGZVhdc On Humboldt Street in Santa Rosa, a posted flyer warns of â&#x20AC;&#x153;bicycle terrorists,â&#x20AC;? while on Mt. Tamalpais in Marin County, another flyer, thumb-tacked to a tree, proclaims, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Take back the trails!â&#x20AC;? A measure to build a multimillion dollar bicycle overpass near Steele Lane in Santa Rosa becomes divisive. The popular Amgen Tour of California becomes the center of its own controversy, first as plans are considered to move the finish line out of downtown Santa Rosa and then as organizers announce the 2011 race wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t include the North Bay at all. A large public sculpture featuring hundreds of recycled bike pieces is condemned for its proximity to car retailers along Santa Rosa Avenue, with claims that the art piece is a deliberate anti-car provocation, instead of simply being strange and expensive-looking. Yes, 2010 was the year when everyone started talking about bicycles in loud, angry voices, with the words â&#x20AC;&#x153;bicycleâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;carâ&#x20AC;? often linked with the words â&#x20AC;&#x153;terroristâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nazi.â&#x20AC;? Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t we have a civil conversation about transportation options anymore without someone calling the other side â&#x20AC;&#x153;evilâ&#x20AC;?? Apparently not. Even in Marin, where the recently opened Cal Park tunnelâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a 1.5-mile engineering triumph that links San Rafael to Larkspur Landing, providing a safe, cell-phone accessible route for cyclists and pedestriansâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;became

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12.29.10-01.04.11

the focus of angry rhetoric. What some greeted as a prime example of bike infrastructure gone right and a beacon for other counties to follow was decried as a $27 million waste of taxpayersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; money. Would it have been better spent putting yet even more lanes on Highway 101? Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to a more reasonable discourse in 2011. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;David Templeton

I]ZNZVgLZ;aZli]ZJc[g^ZcYanH`^Zh I remember flying to Tokyo on a twostory 747 with a bar area for smokers. This was the mid-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, when airline travel still seemed luxurious and when things like checked luggage and a tray of â&#x20AC;&#x153;foodâ&#x20AC;? were all part of the price tag. It was also before 9-11 forever changed the rules of travel. But just when we seemed to be adjusting to the new rigors of flying, 2010 brought even more turbulence to the friendly skies. On April 14, Icelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s long-dormant volcano erupted, sending a smoke plume seven miles into the sky and grounding thousands of flights across Europe. According to Time, it was â&#x20AC;&#x153;the worst peacetime air-travel disruption in history.â&#x20AC;? In February, Southwest Airlines became the butt of writer/director/actor Kevin Smithâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sharp-witted Tweets after he was removed from a flight for violating the airlineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;customers of sizeâ&#x20AC;? policy. (Although Smith did purchase two seats, as mandated for larger passengers, he wound up scoring a standby seat for an earlier flight.) After being escorted off the plane for being, as he put it, â&#x20AC;&#x153;too wide for the skies,â&#x20AC;? the nolonger-silent Bob surely made some noise. On the other side of the intercom, Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater garnered national attention for being hit in the noggin with a piece of luggage, announcing he was â&#x20AC;&#x153;fed upâ&#x20AC;? with rude customers, grabbing a beer and sliding down the planeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s emergency chute. As the economy continued to flag, Slaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bold move became an emblem of workingclass empowerment. But perhaps no story evoked as much emotion as the recent controversy over the new TSA scanners that essentially take a strip-searched photo of your naked body. Many Americans remained livid over the invasion of privacy, the radiation exposure and the alternative pat-down, as evidenced by disgruntled passenger John Tynerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now viral quote, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you touch my junk, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have you arrested.â&#x20AC;? So what are we jaded travelers to do? Well, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always driving (although, as the 62-mile traffic jam outside of Beijing indicates, even the open road can literally become gridlocked for two weeks). As 2010 lowers its landing gear, staying home never sounded better. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Jessica Dur

THE BOHEMIAN



I]ZNZVgLZLZgZ:ViZcWn=Zaa[dg7gZV`[Vhi The news was filled with earthquakes around the globe this year, but while horrific, the quakes and their costly aftermaths in Haiti, Chile, China and Indonesia retained a sense of normalcyâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;at least to those of us in quake-happy California. (Here at the Bohemian, the epicenter of an earthquake occurred directly beneath our offices this fall.) No, what really blew our minds were sinkholes cropping up from the bowels of the planet. In a quake, the ground rumbles and shakes like a hungry stomach; sinkholes are the open mouth of that stomach, swallowing a three-story building and a street intersection in Guatemala City in May. An expanding hole in the Hunan Province of China ate a playground in June. The same region saw a series of sinkholes devour rice fields. One in Florida forced 11 families to evacuate in July. In a quake, most survivors can pick themselves up and shake off the dust. In a sinkhole, just where does one land? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sara Jane Pohlman

I]ZNZVgLZ=VYIddBVcn;^ab;Zhi^kVah Pick a film festival, any film festival. Lord knows there are more choices than Hollywood divorces. In fact, locals could attend a film festival every three weeks or so and still not get to all of them. At a time when independent theaters are struggling to stay afloat and even mainstream theaters depend on major blockbusters and high priced tickets for solvency, the sheer number and variety of film festivals is staggering. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a little something for everyone film-wise in every part of the North Bay community and beyond. In no particular order, viewers can attend the Italian Film Festival, the Jewish Film Festival, the International Buddhist Film Festival, the International Latino Film Festival, the Sebastopol Documentary Film Festival, the Sonoma International Film Festival, the Sonoma Valley Film Festival, the Sonoma Environmental Film Festival, the Wine Country Film Festival, the West County Film Festival, the Marin Film Festival, the Fairfax Film Festival, the Mill Valley Film Festival, the Tiburon Film Festival, the Sausalito Film Festival, the Banff Mountain Film Festival and the Lunafest film festival.

The opportunities go on and on, increasing in 2011 with the addition of the Napa Valley Film Festival. At press time, we even just got a press release for another new film festival in Point Reyes! Just think! If economics still prevent attendance, think about creating a film festival of your own. Or thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always Netflix. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Suzanne Daly

I]ZNZVgLZLViX]ZYi]Z<VnhEVX` I]Z^g7V\h We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly call it a conspiracy, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eerie nonetheless that 2010 saw the closure of a disproportionate number of local gay-owned businesses. In Guerneville, the Russian River Resort, long a bastion of bear-weekend activity, disco queens, drag shows (the Golden Girls in drag!), pop stars from the 1980s (Tiffany!) and bare-chested pool parties, closed its fabulous doors, leaving the gay-resort scene without an anchor. In Penngrove, the queer-friendly Black Cat Bar served its last Slippery Nipple when owner Robin Pfefer opted to close, leaving the hundreds of bras stapled to the ceiling without a home and the gay-bar scene bereft. In Santa Rosa, partners John Sawyer and Dan Potts locked the doors for good on Sawyerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s News, which has left a gigantic hole in downtown Santa Rosa and marks the loss of one more community hub. Industryrespected talent buyer Rick Bartalini, whose keen gaydar booked sold-out shows by everyone from Lisa Lampanelli and Dolly Parton to Joel McHale and Ellen DeGeneres, was shockingly let go from the Wells Fargo Center even after a string of successes for the venue (heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now on his own with two sold-out Bill Maher shows in the area this weekend). But no sting was quite as sharp as the takeover of Ky Boydâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rialto Cinemas Lakeside theater by Dan Tocchiniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s SR Entertainment Group, which owns the Roxy Stadium 14 and a dozen other movie theaters in California. Between the strange backroom dealings involving exâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Secret Service agents and longtime family grudges, there emerged the sad fact that while Boyd ran an ongoing gay film series to benefit Face to FaceSonoma County AIDS Network, the Bohemian discovered that one of Tocchiniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s business partners, Larry Wasem, recently donated $1,000 to the campaign of notorious homophobe James Inhofe, the Republican senator from Oklahoma who has outwardly refused to hire gay staff, is in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage and is against prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Some call it insult to injury; all we can say is â&#x20AC;&#x153;ugh.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Gabe Meline


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2AH101H We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even get to include questions about Kanyeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Twitter search for Persian rugs â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;with cherub imagery uggghh.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Next year, bro.

! )CWT<dbXR@dXi How well do you know this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s popular music? By Gabe Meline 1. Antoine Dobsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bed Intruder Song,â&#x20AC;? based on a TV interview about an attempted rape of his sister in the projects, became a massive hit in 2010. With money from sales of the song on iTunes, Dobson was able to do what? a) Pay a private investigator to successfully find the man who tried to rape his sister b) Market his own line of red bandanas c) Record an album called Go and Tell That d) Buy a new house for his family 2. In November, the Beatlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; catalogue was finally made available on iTunes. In the first week, what was their top-selling song? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yesterdayâ&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Somethingâ&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Here Comes the Sunâ&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Let It Beâ&#x20AC;? 3. In May, while serving jail time at Rikers Island, Lilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Wayne was placed into solitary confinement for what offense? a) Telling a correctional officer that his wife resembled a martian b) Wearing brand-name briefs instead of prison-issued briefs c) Having a contraband mp3 player disguised as a watch

d) Urinating on his food and then sending it back 4. At the MTV Video Music Awards in September, Lady Gaga gave an acceptance speech while wearing a dress made entirely of what? a) dog food b) meat c) live snakes d) tortillas 5. In November, the website Pitchfork awarded Kanye Westâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy a perfect rating of 10.0. The last time the site gave a 10.0 rating to a new album was in 2002. Which album was it? a) You Forgot It in People by Broken Social Scene b) Sea Change by Beck c) Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco d) Lifted by Bright Eyes 6. In August, Erykah Badu was sentenced to six monthsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; probation for disrobing in public as part of a video shoot. Where was the video filmed? a) Independence Hall b) the Grand Canyon c) Dealy Plaza d) the Washington Monument 7. In September, producers for Sesame Street

pulled a music segment featuring Katy Perry, explaining that: a) She is a talentless hack b) Her breasts were too exposed c) The song was discovered to be satanic d) The segmentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s editing caused seizures 8. In February, the Arcade Fire agreed to license their song â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wake Upâ&#x20AC;? to the NFL for use at the Superbowl in order to donate the money to: a) Lindsay Lohanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rehab bill b) wildlife rescue c) Canadian healthcare d) Haiti earthquake relief 9. In an interview, the singer of an acclaimed Brooklyn band confessed heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d â&#x20AC;&#x153;literally never heard of â&#x20AC;? the band Train, who had the number-one selling single of 2010. Who was it? a) Avey Tare of Animal Collective b) James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem c) David Longstreth of Dirty Projectors d) Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend 10. Which seminal indie-rock band did not reunite in 2010? a) Pavement b) Guided by Voices c) Capâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Jazz d) Fugazi '' THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

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11. In November, George W. Bush said that â&#x20AC;&#x153;one of the most disgusting moments in my presidencyâ&#x20AC;? was what? a) His failure to visit New Orleans until five days after Hurricane Katrina b) His statement that â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees,â&#x20AC;? when in fact officials had warned him the levees were in grave danger of failing c) His administration ordering power crews to stop repairing hurricaneravaged New Orleans hospitals in order to fix a Texas-based gas pipeline in Mississippi instead d) Kanye West saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;George Bush doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care about black peopleâ&#x20AC;? 12. Former Sleater-Kinney guitarist Carrie Brownstein announced in August that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d soon star in a television show about Portland, Ore., called: a) Portlandia b) Fixed Gear Fantasies c) The â&#x20AC;&#x2122;90s Are Now! d) This Coffee Sucks

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14. In 1984, the first line of â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are the Worldâ&#x20AC;? was sung by Lionel Richie. In 2010, a remake was recorded to benefit Haiti. Who sang the first line? a) Jamie Foxx b) T-Pain c) Miley Cyrus d) Justin Beiber 15. In September, Susan Boyle was reportedly â&#x20AC;&#x153;in tearsâ&#x20AC;? after she was unable to sing a Lou Reed song on the television show Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent. What song was it? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Femme Fataleâ&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Wanna Be Blackâ&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Perfect Dayâ&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Metal Machine Music, Part 3â&#x20AC;? 16. At the Grammy awards ceremony,

17. In August, Cee-Loâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hit single was censored, for television and radio, under what title? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Screw Youâ&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hump Youâ&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Forget Youâ&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Intercourse Youâ&#x20AC;? 18. In October, a federal court shut down music file-sharing site LimeWire, also ordering the company to â&#x20AC;&#x153;use all reasonable technological meansâ&#x20AC;? to do what? a) Transfer money from its usersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Paypal accounts to the record companies b) Stop its users from illegally downloading music even after LimeWire is shut down c) Delete mp3s downloaded via LimeWire from its usersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; computers d) Report its usersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; IP addresses to the FBI 19. Which R&B singer did not die in 2010? a) Bill Withers b) Teena Marie c) Solomon Burke d) Teddy Pendergrass 20. In a guest verse on Trey Songzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bottoms Up,â&#x20AC;? which deceased celebrity does Nicki Minaj rap a â&#x20AC;&#x153;rest in peaceâ&#x20AC;? to? a) Martin Luther King, Jr. b) Thomas Edison c) Anna Nicole Smith d) Tupac Shakur 21. Who is Kirsten Kennis? a) The New York Times reporter who wrote about M.I.A. eating a truff le fry b) The Contra cover model who sued Vampire Weekend for $2 million c) The ghostwriter for Taylor Swiftâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Twitter account d) The newscaster who found and interviewed the Velvet Undergroundâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mo Tucker at a Tea Party rally 22. At the end of Conan Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brienâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last show on NBC, the guitar-playing host was joined by Will Ferrell, Beck and Ben Harper for a live performance of what song? a) â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Long and Winding Roadâ&#x20AC;? b) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stairway to Heavenâ&#x20AC;? c) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Freebirdâ&#x20AC;? d) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bad Romanceâ&#x20AC;? 23. In July, Kings of Leon stopped a show at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater in St. Louis after just three songs because: a) Pigeons were defecating on the band b) A cord electrocuted the lead singer c) The venue caught on fire d) Their drummer needed to watch Glee

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13. After the Haiti earthquake, millions of dollars were donated to Wyclef Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Yele Haiti organization. Yet tax documents published by the Smoking Gun website evinced distressing activity by the charity. Which of the following is not true? a) In 2006, Yele Haiti paid $100,000 to Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s production company for his performance at a â&#x20AC;&#x153;benefitâ&#x20AC;? b) In 2007, Yele Haiti paid $31,000 to Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recording studio for â&#x20AC;&#x153;office spaceâ&#x20AC;? c) In 2008, Yele Haiti paid $105,000 to Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mistress, Zakiya KhatouChevassus, for â&#x20AC;&#x153;program developmentâ&#x20AC;? d) In 2009, Yele Haiti paid $50,000 to Jeanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s former Fugees bandmate Lauryn Hill for â&#x20AC;&#x153;consultationâ&#x20AC;?

a tribute to Michael Jackson was unwatchable to most viewers because: a) It was a pay-per-view segment b) It could only be viewed on the iPad c) It required 3D glasses d) Celine Dion was part of it

THE BOHEMIAN

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147>;3C7410A3 MTCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Equivocationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tops the list for best local production of 2010.

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One criticâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite shows from the year that was By David Templeton

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eventy-seven. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the number of torn tickets now fluttering to my carpet as I upturn my ancient cigar box and spill an entire yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth of theatergoing out before me. Seventy-seven ticket stubs, representing 77 shows, an average of 1.4 per week. A new personal record. It will take me more than an hour to arrange the stubs, and it will then take me days to choose my 10 favorite shows of the year. As usual, I allow myself a moment to mourn those stubs not present, tickets from shows I heard great things about but never found the opportunity to see, like the Imaginistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Facebook Nation and Sixth Streetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dirty Blonde. As is my tradition, I focus only on those shows produced in Marin, Sonoma and Napa counties. The list Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ended up with marks the shows that, while not necessarily the best of the year, do count as my personal favorites. Here they areâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;my Top 10 Torn Tickets of 2010. 1. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Equivocationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Marin Theater Company) Bill Cainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brilliant slice of historical fiction was already one of my favorite shows after its premiere in the 2009 season of Ashlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Oregon Shakespeare Festival. That spare, elegant production, I believed, could never be toppedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and I was wrong. Director Jasson Minadakis of the Marin Theatre Company ramped up the intensity and emotionality in his own restaging of Cainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intelligent play, which imagines the political and personal forces that led William Shakespeare to write Macbeth. Though set in Jamesian England, the productionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s exceptional cast performed in modern dress, emphasizing contemporary parallels as Shakespeare strives to write a play to save the soul of his country. It remains my favorite show of 2010. 2. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Seafarerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Narrow Way Stage

Company) In Conor McPhersonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Seafarer, a group of Irish drinking buddies find themselves battling for their souls on Christmas Eve when the Devil stops by for a friendly game of cards. Under first-time director Tim Kniffin, Narrow Way Stage Company tackled the text-heavy, highly symbolic show with a laid-back energy underscoring the affable nature of the characters, and allowed for a gradually growing build-up of tension as, by the gorgeous and surprising resolution, the Devil gets his due. The result was a supremely satisfying ensemble drama so enjoyable and well-performed that I actually ended up seeing it three times. 3. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Intimate Apparelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Alternative Theater Ensemble) Marinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s AlterTheater is known for producing spare plays in nontheatrical spaces, and in the case of Lynn Notageâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Intimate Apparel, about a turn-ofthe-century seamstress, the intimacy of the small art gallery used for the show lent plenty of additional power to the play. Directed by Ann Brebner, the story of Estherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s search for love and personal power was moving partly for the beauty of the castâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s raw performances, but also because Estherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s struggles were staged, literally, right in our faces. 4. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;In the Red and Brown Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Marin Theater Company) The first of three plays in Tarell Alvin McCraneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrated trilogy, The Brother/Sister Plays, In the Red and Brown Water was staged by MTCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ryan Rilette with a powerful understanding of the storyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s underlying connection to African myth and the world of dreams. In Riletteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hands, the poetry of the scriptâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; about a poor young woman whose obsession with having a child drives her to destructionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;found its equal in the visual beauty of this unforgettable production. 5. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Emmelineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Cinnabar Theater) Tobias Pickerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 1996 opera Emmelineâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for years a passion project of Cinnabarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brilliant and

beloved musical director Nina Shuman (who passed away in early December after a long battle with cancer)â&#x20AC;&#x201D;was gorgeously realized in a lovely and compelling production, staged by Elly Lichenstein with musical direction by Shuman. Staged last May, it effectively became Shumanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s farewell. The story of a lonely woman haunted by the loss of her illegitimate child had elements of Greek tragedy yet was always grounded in the tenderly believable humanity of the characters. Easily one of the most moving productions of the year. 6. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Beeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (SRT) Six troubled preteens compete against each other in a small-time spelling bee, singing as they go about their competitive impulses and deep insecurities. Though far less polished than the professional version that toured San Francisco in 2008, Summer Repertory Theaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s student production was pleasantly energetic, giving its actors lots of opportunity to be weird, wacky and, in the end, wonderfully sweet. 7. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Comedy of Errorsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Sonoma County Repertory Theater) Director David Learâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s commanding production took the limitations and challenges of Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard-to-do Comedy of Errors and turned them into assets. An agile and fearless cast grabbed this supremely silly material and rode it for all it was worth. Ultimately, by teasing the many failures of the script (having, for example, the actors fall asleep one by one during long, boring speeches), Lear turned one of the Bardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s least funny comedies into one of the funniest shows of the season. 8. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;9 Circlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Marin Theatre Company) The second Bill Cain play to appear on this list, and the third by the Marin Theatre Company, 9 Circles created a sense of intensity and rising danger that was at times nearly unbearable. In telling the story of a mentally unstable soldier accused of war crimes, Cain (a practicing Jesuit priest as well as a playwright) took audiences through a stylized version of Danteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nine circles of Hell. Directed with taught focus of purpose by Kent Nicholson, the remarkable one-act was a brilliantly executed, aggressively acted immersion into the confusion of war. 9. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;We x You, Nosferatuâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Cinnabar Theater) A last-minute replacement for a different play about vampires, Jack Paglenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s We x You, Nosferatu was perhaps the biggest pleasant surprise of 2010. A bracingly clever satire of the current Twilight-fueled cultural obsession with vampires, this multimedia comedy directed by Beth Craven also stood as a potent examination of our cultureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tendency to make evil sexy, involving Skype conversations that grow both darker and funnier until the cleverly vicious punch line. 10. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Christmas Carolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Sixth Street Playhouse) This inventive update of Charles Dickensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; overdone Christmas Carol went right to the sympathetic heart of the story, adding frightening ghost-story flourishes but always grounded in humanity. The emotional power of Dickensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; story, dulled by so many uninspired retellings, was enhanced in this production by directors Amy Pinto and Brent Lindsay, turning Bob Cratchit into a bilingual Mexican immigrant and Scroogeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nephew Fred into a persistently patient lesbian with a brand-new wife. The modern touches added extra oomph to Scroogeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gradual emergence from a life of fear and prejudice, and the ending, in which Scrooge embraces all those heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s held at arms length, was one of the loveliest moments Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen onstage all year.

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58;;H>DA70=3 Jeff Bridges and Haile Steinfeld bring a mortal edge to the John Wayne classic.

CWT5X[cWP]ScWT5dah â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;True Gritâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; an enduring story of retribution

By Richard von Busack

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attie Ross (Haile Steinfeld) is a self-assured 14-year-old. She arrives in Fort Smith, Ark., in the early 1880s to track down the hired hand who murdered her father. The killer, Tom Cheney (Josh Brolin), â&#x20AC;&#x153;lit out for the territory,â&#x20AC;? says the sheriff, as if describing Huck Finn. The sheriff lists some U.S. marshals who could possibly track Cheney; Mattie chooses Reuben â&#x20AC;&#x153;Roosterâ&#x20AC;? Cogburn (Jeff Bridges). Ruthless and dead to fear, though often dead to the world, Cogburn â&#x20AC;&#x153;likes to pull a cork,â&#x20AC;? says the sheriff. First seen in the courtroom, Cogburn is a greasy-haired, one-eyed man pushing 60. Winter light from the windows behind him illuminates a three-gallon cuspidor at his feet. Bridges lulls us with his take on the partâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a bass-voiced good olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; boy who sounds like Arkansasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. Note the eccentric pronunciation: â&#x20AC;&#x153;snikeâ&#x20AC;? for the reptile, â&#x20AC;&#x153;dronkâ&#x20AC;? describing that the state Cogburn is often in. The early scenes of Mattie and Cogburn together play out like a duel of the Orsons. Steinfeld has the smooth-faced, sotto voce way of the young Welles, who made every comment sound like an aside to the audience. Grumbling Rooster Cogburn resembles the old Welles, especially his Hank Quinlan in A Touch of Evil. Mattie offers the marshal a $50 reward to cross into the Choctaw lands to retrieve Cheney. While awaiting his decision, Mattie encounters LeBoeuf (Matt Damon), a fancy, buckskin-covered ranger whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seeking Cheney for a previous murder down in Texas. The three, reluctantly matched, discover that Cheney has thrown in with the gang of Lucky Ned Pepper (Barry Pepper, displaying

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almost courtly lucklessness). The pursuers draw closer to Cheney but feud along the wayâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;about the Civil War, about Texas metaphysics, about Cogburnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drinking. Mattieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unpolished honesty brings out the best in both, the part that is larger than life. True Grit was John Wayneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s finest work, and Wayne knew it. He never performed better than in the campfire scene in the 1969 film, with Rooster Cogburn talking about his wife and kid back in Cairo, Ill. Bridges does the same monologue conversationally as he rides, since his Cogburn likes to fill the frontier void with talk. This True Grit is not a movie about strong silent men, and Bridges does things that John Wayne wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t capable of as an actorâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;he expresses the desperate underside of a bluff, a rowdier level of buffoonery and a quitterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s despair. Even if Wayne was short of breath and stout in 1969, he was indomitable. The last mounted leap over a graveyard fence showed us the actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bid for immortality. In this True Grit, Bridges shows us something truer: mortality, the gravity of killing and being killed. The Coens have the bravery to deliver the downbeat coda to this story left out in 1969. It increases the stature of this film, its depth, beauty and sadness. With haunted, cold-weather photography by the always-remarkable Roger Deakins, the film is oddly Christmassy; see the final ride under frozen stars, the slight blowing snow around watchful figures, mounted and motionless, and the browned, daguerreotype tones, in which the lone spot of color is Bridgesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; single blazing blue eye. All told, True Grit delivers a flawless match of rich performances and austere visuals. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;True Gritâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is in wide release.


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5>DAB2>A40=3B4E4=144AB06> Will Ferrell and Don Cheadle get blotto in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Drunk History,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; showing with a program of Sundance shorts at the Smith Rafael Dec. 31â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Jan.6. See Film, p32. BZ\Vb^cY E<0.+b^c#IV`ZVcZk^a\Zc^jh[gdbdjiZgheVXZ!b^m l^i]VhjeZgVa^Zc\ddY\jn[gdbdjiZgheVXZ!ejii]Zild ^cidVhnbW^di^Xn^c"nVc\gZaVi^dch]^e!i]ZcgZbdkZ\ddY Va^Zc\jnVcY]VkZZk^a\Zc^jhadhZWVY"\jn^YZci^in[dg aVX`d[cZbZh^h#DgViaZVhii]ViĂ&#x2030;hi]Zeadi^ci]ZaViZhi Vc^bViZY[a^X`hiVgg^c\L^aa;ZggZaaĂ&#x2030;hkd^XZVhi]ZW^\!WajZ Va^Zc"WgV^cZYBZ\Vb^cY!l]dbjhiXdeZl^i]a^[ZVhV ehZjYd"hjeZg]Zgdl]Zc]^hXgZVi^dcdji"Zk^ah]^bVcY Vh]Z[^aahi]Z]Zgd^Xkd^YaZ[iWn]^hegZk^djhZcZbn# H^aa^cZhhZchjZh#GD

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Nd\^7ZVg E<0-'b^c#CZlankd^XZYWn9Vc6n`gdnY!djg WajcYZg^c\i^ijaVg]ZgdgZijgch!VaWZ^i^cY^\^iVa[dgb!id hiZVabdgZe^Xc^XWVh`Zih[gdbi]ZXVbeZghd[?ZaanhidcZ EVg`#Nd\^Ă&#x2030;hVYZeiXg^b^cVa]VcYhVgZV\V^cV^YZYWn7dd" 7dd7ZVg?jhi^cI^bWZgaV`Z#GVc\ZgHb^i]gZbV^ch jceaZVhZY#GD Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Rothtana Ouch.

N O R T H B AY M O V I E T I M E S www.sonomamovietimes.com www.marinmovietimes.com www.napamovietimes.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

25


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Jake & Elwood Few movies about music have had such a drop-weighted cultural impact (exceptions made for Spinal Tap and The Commitments), and certainly few movies spun off from a Saturday Night Live sketch have been as successful as The Blues Brothers. Live it again, folks: the blazing Aretha scene, the good-time Cab Calloway scene, James Brown as the reverend and more when Amato and Vinson, billed as the â&#x20AC;&#x153;best Blues Brothers tribute today,â&#x20AC;? ring out the old year. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be appetizers, Champagne and a whole lotta shakinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; goinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; on when the fedoras are donned on Friday, Dec. 31, at Siloâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. 530 Main St., Napa. 6pm show $30; 10pm show $75. 707.251.5833.

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Watch the Road Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing like making the drive through the winding roads and over the rolling California hills to the little roadhouse of Rancho Nicasio. So when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re headed out to boogie the year away by fooling around and falling in love to Elvin Bishop, remember to take a look around at the last slice of the coast youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see in the year 2010. Likewise, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing like driving back home from the cozy little club, so make sure you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t veer off the road and into the lake at the cheese factory. Drink sparingly and chug that coffee after partying â&#x20AC;&#x2122;til the cows come home on Thursday, Dec. 30, at Rancho Nicasio. Town Square, Nicasio. 8:30pm. $20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$25. 415.662.2219.

 H6CI6GDH6

Maiden Voyage

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Just about every time Bruce Dickinson quits Iron Maiden, diehard fans salivate at the desire to see original vocalist Paul Diâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Anno return to the band. But chances are such a reunion wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t happen, and not just because the growly-voiced atheist was kicked out in 1980, after two records, for essentially being too drunk. Since, Diâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Anno has lived in Brazil and become immersed in that countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s underground music scene; opened an internet cafe in Great Britain and recorded the occasional solo project. But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his gruff voice that would bar him from singing the frilly high notes of current Iron Maiden material; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also his best asset. See him on Saturday, Jan. 1, at the Last Day Saloon. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 9pm. $18â&#x20AC;&#x201C;$20. 707.545.2343.

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Ice Cold If it can be typified by anything, the â&#x20AC;&#x153;San Francisco soundâ&#x20AC;? has always boasted a cross-pollination of rock, jazz, blues and soul. Put a great female singer at the forefront of it all, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a recipe for history. Or so it seemed when Cold Blood released their debut album in 1969â&#x20AC;&#x201D;a screaming, venomous collection of heartwrenching barnburners that seemed set to enshrine the band for good. Turns out Janis made the history booksâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;untimely deaths will do thatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;while Lydia Pense still sings magnificently at little clubs around the Bay Area. This weekend, the band shuts the door on 2010 in a New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve show on Friday, Dec. 31, at Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nightclub. 842 Fourth St., San Rafael. 9:30pm. $65. 415.226.0262.

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26

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12.29.10-01.04.11

27


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HOUSE OF FLOYD SUN 2/20 • 7:00PM DOORS • $21 ADV/$23 DOS • 18+ SINGER/SONGWRITER

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Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner BBQ • Pasta • Steak

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DON’T FORGET…WE SERVE FOOD TOO!

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TODD SNIDER PLUS ELIZABETH COOK THUR 2/24 • 8:00PM DOORS • $21 ADV/$26 DOS • 21+ DUBSTEP/ELECTRONICA

DOUBLE D PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS

MONSTERS OF BASS TOUR

FREQ NASTY, MARTY PARTYAND OPIUO WITH

For All Ages Shows • No Children Under 10 Allowed

23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma

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www.mcnears.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

29


@.2

the last day saloon nightclub & restaurant

<=2;6;4@

OPEN AT 4 PM tHURS. - sATURDAY AND ANY DAY A SHOW IS SCHEDULED

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AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES, BANQUETS, FUNDRAISERS AND OUTSIDE PROMOTERS 707.545.5876

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12/31 8:30 PM SHOW > $12/17 > DANCE ROCK LAST DAY SALOON & S FARZO LIVE NEW YEAR' S EVE PARTY WITH

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FAST EDDIE

Galleries HDCDB68DJCIN

+ JULIE MEDEROIS CHAMPAGNE TOAST, BALLOON DROP, AND SNACKS INCLUDED

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1/1 9:30 PM SHOW > $18/20 > ROCK

PAUL DI'ANNO (OF IRON MAIDEN) + ICARUS WITCH + PITCHFORK REBELLION

ANTHONY B + DIRTY DUB BAND

DI NN E R

"ALONE & TOGETHER"

THE BROTHERS COMATOSE + ARANN HARRIS & THE FARM BAND + JOHN COURAGE + BRIAN FITZPATRICK + MR. DECEMBER

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(RESERVATIONS REQUIRED)

Dec 30, 31 & Jan 1

FAUX NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE WITH Dec 30 ELVIN BISHOP AND FRIENDS Thur

Party Favors and Champagne Toast 8:30pm

Fri

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Party Favors and Champagne Toast 9:00pm

***SPECIAL NO COVER*** 1 M USICAL EVENT WITH

Sat

Jan

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7:30pm

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY OPEN FOR BRUNCH, LUNCH AND DINNER

PAT TRAVERS + LCM + MILES SCHON BAND

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CRAB FEE D WEEKE ND

1/22 8:30 PM SHOW > $15 > ROCK SFARZO GUITAR STRINGS PRESENTS

12:00â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10:00PM Coming in January

Sat

8 MITCH WOODS AND HIS ROCKET 88S

Jan Fri

all shows are 21+ unless noted

Jan 14 RONNIE LEE TWIST

for reservations: 707.545.5876

707.545.2343 120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca

Sat

Jan 15

DOUG ADAMZ & BRAVO

Fri

Jan 21

JUKE JOINT

Sat

BIG B AND HIS SNAKEOIL SAVIORS

Jan 22

415.662.2219

On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com

lastdaysaloon.com 30

Reservations Advised

12.29.10-01.04.11

THE BOHEMIAN



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Lunch & Dinner Sat & Sun Brunch

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1/8 8:30 PM SHOW > $10 > BLUES

1/15 7:30 PM SHOW > $10 > FOLK THE NORTHBAY HOOTENANNY WITH

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1/7 9 PM SHOW > $15/20 > 80'S DANCE HITS LIMITED CAPACITY -BUY YOUR TICKETS EARLY!

DANIEL CASTRO BAND + RON THOMPSON BAND

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1/6 9:00 PM SHOW > $20/25 > REGGAE

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g Apartment/Cottage

Cottage for Rent $830 per month. I BR, water and garbage paid. Monte Rio above flooding . Private and enclosed garden. Call 707-829-8000. Mon - Sat. 9am - 4pm.

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Santa Rosa

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Moonflower Massage 3020 Santa Rosa Ave, Suite G., $5 off half hour and $10 off one hour with this ad. 707-528-7049

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Place your classified adult services ad here, Call 707.527.1200 x206 today! Sales@bohemian.com THE BOHEMIAN

12.29.10-01.04.11

33


HEALTH&WELL-BEING g g Healing & Bodywork

PAIN/STRESS RELIEF

Professional male massage therapist; strong, deep healing bodywork. 1 hr / $50, 1 1/2 hr $65. 707-536-1516 www.CompleteBodyBalance.

RELAX! Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 11 yrs experience. 707-542-6856

Man of Your Dreams Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing mutual touch. William 707-548-2187

Serious Massage For your special bodywork needs - Strong, Thorough, Intuitive. 30 yrs. experience. Colin, CMT (707)823-2990

Great Massage

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Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.

Great Massage Therapy NEW YEARS/ JANUARY SPECIAL Deep Tissue, Swedish. By CMT Mary 707-228-3275. Affordable, free parking downtown Santa Rosa.

Full Body Sensual Massage With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.

Guerneville

By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub M4M Massage and pool available. Will do Mitch, CMT. Mature. outcalls. 707-228-6883. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private discrete studio. 707-849-7409

MASSAGE FOR MEN Want your entire body squeezed, kneaded, massaged & stretched by skillful male CMT? Call/text 707-824-8700, or visit www.SantaRosaMassageforMen.com for pics/schedule.

g Massage & Relaxation

A Provider of Pleasure In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a “mature”, compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.

Sweet Sensual Massage with Lara Treat yourself to my Blissful Touch. 707-481-2644

34

12.29.10-01.04.11

• NEW Foot Reflexology Treatment • Excellent Massage • Relaxing Body Treatments • Large Finnish Steam Sauna • Easy & Safe Parking

Walk ins Welcome

Open 7 Days 10am-10pm

707.782.9898

131 Liberty St, Ste. D at Washington St

THE BOHEMIAN

Massage • Reflexology Swedish/Shiatsu

699 Petaluma Blvd. N

Chiang Mai Thai Spa

Open 7 days 9am-10pm

6741 Sebastopol Ave, #160 Sebastopol | 707.823.8540

707.765.1879

Open 7 Days: 10am-10pm

1626 4th St. Santa Rosa 707.526.6888

MAGIC HANDS

Psychics

Swedish and Deep Tissue Massagewith light stretching Psychic Palm for men/women. Flexible and Card Reader M-F schedule; Incalls only Madame Lisa. Truly gifted 60min/$60 | 90min/$75 Please call Leo 707-623-6096 adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. One visit convinces you. Relaxing Massage Appt. 707-542-9898 for Everyone Swedish, Sports, Accupressure, Thai, Deep Tissue, Rohnert Park $40/hr + $10 outcall. Sebastian (707)758-0060 www.wix.com/rpcotati/ massage

SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS Finding inspiration and connecting with your community Account: Chiang Mai Thai Spa 1 Cols Wide

• relief from new 1X2 box, tension headaches,process, ss eyestrain, and sinusitis • improves mobility in neck and shoulders • balances energy

Margery Smith 707.544.9642

A sanctuary of pleasure and relaxation. Enjoy the best of healing, sensual massage by a lovely lady with a caring touch. Quality& class Accept Visa/MC. Tania. C.M.T. 707-477-1766. Santa Rosa.

2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa

$30

• Hot Stone Massage

Celebrate Yourself!

Foot Massage $19.99/45 min

FLOWER SPA

Body Massage • Swedish & Deep Tissue Massage

Ayurvedic

Indian Head Massage

Grand Opening Special! chair massage with foot bath - $25/30 min

HOLIDAY SPECIAL $50

with man and woman, $200.00, William 707-548-2187

Therapeutic Massage Center Body Massage $55/hr

707.578.3088

Golden Flower Massage Spa

Blissful 4 Hand Massage

NOW OPEN

Open 7 days 9-10pm

Petaluma Lavender Day Spa

Compassion Kadampa Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing daily and evening classes for Adults and Kids Everyone is welcome. Bookstore open Fri & Sat 10am - 2pm. Check the online calendar www.meditateinsantarosa.org or call 707-477-2264 for more info. New Location - 436 Larkfield Center, Santa Rosa The Journey Center: A Place for Transformation Resources for your spiritual journey (ancient prayer/meditation practices, workshops/retreats, spiritual direction, art gallery, reading room, bodywork). 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121 Mahakaruna Buddhist Meditative Nature of Psychotherapy Meditation Center A spiritual practice for couples and Offers ongoing introductory and individuals unfolds psychological advanced classes. Weds at noon, problems and embraces them as Tues & Weds evenings 7:30-8:45pm transformative paradoxes. After many Prayers for World Peace years in Berkeley, Gateway Institute is Sun - 10:30 - 11:45am now in Healdsburg. Heather Parrish, Everyone welcome Ph.D. MFC36455. 707-473-9553. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North -Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org

Prayer Collage/Vision Board Class The Enneagram: A Tool for Transformation Free introduction to an ancient tool for personal and relational transformation. Wed, Jan 5, 6:30-9:00p, Journey Center, 707-578-2121, www.journeycenter.org Holistic Nutrition for Depression, Anxiety and Memory Free introduction. Understand how nutrition powerfully shapes brain health. Sat, Jan 8, 10-11:30a, Journey Center

Share your organization’s inspiration with over 123,000 Bohemian Readers monthly!

Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com


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#LOVERDALE WWW#ELLAR.OCOM s WWWSOUVERAINCOM 707 265-5490 Tasting10 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5 Daily Cellar No. 8 & Souverain, located at the historic Asti winery in Cloverdale - one hour and 30 minutes north of San Francisco - the tasting room, which has reopened to the public, features our nationally distributed California wines as well as five small-production, ultra-premium tasting room only wines. Cellar No. 8 is a perfect venue for special events or a casual picnic.

Topel Tasting Room  -ATHESON 3TREET (EALDSBURG WWWTOPELWINESCOM s    WWWFACEBOOKCOMTOPELWINERY Tasting 11-7 Daily Located just steps off Healdsburg Plaza, across from Oakville Grocery, Topel Tasting Room is the place to be seen in Healdsburg and a real favorite among locals! When you visit, let your doggy come too!

Thumbprint Cellars Tasting Lounge

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 -ATHESON 3T ON THE SQUARE $OWNTOWN (EALDSBURG

WWWDARGENZIOWINECOM s 707 280-4658 Open daily 11 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5 for wine tasting Artisan hand crafted wines, in the heart of Santa Rosa and Wine County specializing in Pinot Noir, Zinfandels, Cabernet Sauvignon, Tocai Friulano, and Chardonnay. Join our Primo 1 and Primo VIP Club. Uncorking Centuries of Artisan Excellence

WWWTHUMBPRINTCELLARSCOM 707.433.2393 Open Daily for Wine Tasting. Visit the original Tasting Lounge on the square, in Downtown Healdsburg. Thumbprint cellars invites you to join in the fun! Your tasting experience could include a three some or a climax, either way you will surely be Aroused. Come experience the eclectic vibe of this award winning artisan winery.

The Wine Shop & Tasting Bar  (EALDSBURG !VENUE (EALDSBURG WWWDUXINAROCOM s   

Woodenhead Vintners

 -AIN 3TREET -ENDOCINO WWWDUXINAROCOM s    Tasting 10 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 6 Daily Come and enjoy our hand chosen small lot local producers, wines from around the world, large format bottles and reserve room. Socialize at our Winemakers Select on Saturday afternoons. Feel fee to join the Wine Shop Society-beyond the ordinary wine club!!!

 2IVER 2OAD &ORESTVILLE WWWWOODENHEADWINECOM s    Open Thursday-Monday 10:30am - 4:30pm The apex of Pinot pleasure, the hedonism of Zinfandel. Handcrafted with purpose and intent for your full spectrum drinking delight.

<=@B6 0/G G=5/ Bikram Yoga San Rafael  3ECOND 3T 3UITE  3AN 2AFAEL s 9/'! s WWWSANRAFAELYOGACOM We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t change because we see the lightâ&#x20AC;Śwe change because we feel the heat. So what are you waiting for? 2010 is your time to change your body, change your life! The Bikram beginning practice is suitable for beginners and advanced yogis appealing to both men and women of all fitness levels.

Bikram Yoga of Santa Rosa  7ILSON 3TREET 3ANTA 2OSA s 9/'! s WWWBIKRAMOFSANTAROSACOM Bikram's Yoga system will reshape and heal your body while it relieves stress and tension. The Bikram Method of Hatha Yoga is a demanding series of 26 postures, done in a heated room and meant to be performed in the given order, to the best of one's ability. A principle of the class is that one can learn to steadily make new demands of oneself, to work harder, deeper, yet calmer.    

  

Sun & Moon Yoga  # 3T 0ETALUMA s    s WWWSUNANDMOON YOGACOM How bright is your glow? It is in our utmost opinion that a consistent Hatha yoga practice can provide a glorious path to radiant wellness. Our classes encourage a strong and supple physical foundation, which will safely allow your true essence to glow brightly. Awaken the light within.

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12.29.10-01.04.11

35


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Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257

Full exam. Low cost. No charge if you do not qualify. Santa Rosa. Authentication 24/7. 707-591-4088.

We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.

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Golden Star Grafix Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration & collages general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

Advertise on the Back Page Call 707.527.1200 today and be seen more than in any other section of the Bohemian!

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MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6. 707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com

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â&#x20AC;˘ Heroin/Opiate (Vicodin, Oxycontin) detox and maintenance utilizing Methadone

Petaluma Based Bead Source 10% OFF Code: BOHO1210 Widest selection of Unusual Natural beads & pendants Great quality, best prices jewelry findings & components www.beadsandpieces.com or Call (707)765-2890

Santa Rosa Plumbing Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026

tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets recirculation, general plumbing needs. Call 707.528.8228

Green Earth Catering Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com

SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal! Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919

Santa Rosa CopWatch First and third Tues at 7, discussion of police accountability and observation plus know-your-rights training. Free Mind Media, 546 Pacific Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.579.1605

Happy New Year!! from everyone at the Bohemian

â&#x20AC;˘ Methamphetamine and other stimulant treatment â&#x20AC;˘ Subutex/Suboxone available â&#x20AC;˘ Providing Treatment since 1984 â&#x20AC;˘ Confidentiality assured

Q UALITY G RAPHIC D ESIGN BUSINESS CARDS â&#x20AC;˘ BROCHURES POSTERS â&#x20AC;˘ T-SHIRTS â&#x20AC;˘ CD COVERS FLYERS â&#x20AC;˘ PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION

T.H. Bead Design & Repair

Creative Light Productions

Quality beads, sterling silver clasps, etc. Custome necklaces, earings and bracelets for you or that someone special. Jewlery repair available also, no soldering. 707.696.9812, tiffany_beadsandpieces@yahoo.com

Professional photographer & videographer weddings, parties, special events.Call award winning David Ludwig. Local: (707) 527-6004 Toll Free: (800) 942-8433 www.creativelightproductions.com

Photography by Paul Burke

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707.664.0178 boomburke@hotmail.com

Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818

general marketing materials

Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924

schaumann1@earthlink.net

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