June Metro Christian Living

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Q&A with Jimmy Needham

See what everyone is talking about! ✻ Fabulous Activities ✻ Beautiful Surroundings ✻ New Found Friendships ✻ Mouth-Watering Meals Sunnybrook Estates is a strictly rental independent living retirement community offering spacious apartment living. Low monthly rates with NO long-term lease or buy in required. Rent includes meals, housekeeping, transportation, activities, on-site movie theatre, central heat & air in each apartment and more!

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CALL 601-856-4050 248 Locust Lane • Madison, MS 39110 • www.sunnybrookestatesmadison.com 2 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Baptist for Women’s Center for Surgery, exclusively for women, is designed to cater to women’s needs for privacy and comfort during surgical procedures. Additionally, all our physicians are board certified in their respective specialties, and our clinical staff has years of experience in women’s surgery.

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contents JUNE 2010

®

in this issue 10 The Way I See It Shifting blame

14 Education Connection The Joy of Grand-parenting

17 Cause & Effect Jackson Reclaimed

18 In Black & White Real friendships run deep

26 Let’s Get Real Developing spiritual leaders at home

27 Our Daily Bread How do you keep the faith?

30 Q&A

features

13 20

Jimmy Needham

Special Feature

lifestyle

A Valiant Story

15 Fresh Finds

Cover Story

Finding the best gift for dad

Carey Casey Championship Father

19 Food For Thought Summer Picnics

24 Legal Advice We own it together—isn’t that best?

18

25 Let’s Talk It Over Finding Peace with the Retirement Community Transition

28 Homeworks Making the most of dorm rooms and other small spaces

17

29 Welcome Home Get techno savvy

34 Money Talks Investing in your child’s educational future

35 The Doctor Is In

19

The new generation of cataracts

15

36 Healthy Living Battle of the Bulge

every issue 6 9

What’s Coming Next Month Beyond Words: The Arts

4 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

➺

Letter from the Editor From the Readers Father’s Day

32 37 38 38

Rave Reviews Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Ad Directory

Volume 5, Number 1 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Christi B. Steckel christi@metrochristianliving.com Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Contributing Writers: Lydia Bolen, Dr. Nancy New Boyll, Susan Deaver, Michael P. Denny, Cathy Haynie, Cyndi Grace, William B. Howell, Allen Kvalvik, Jennifer Lyles, Molly Meeks, Suzanne Sansing, Julie Whitehead, Martin E. Willoughby Jr. Art Direction/Graphic Design: Sandra K. Goff Cover Photography: Photos courtesy of the National Center for Fathering Sales: Marilyn Tinnin, Christi B. Steckel Distribution Assistants: Laura Blackledge, Hal Hall, Kim Roberts, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland and Bob Whatley

Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed.

All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year.

Single issues available for $3 an issue.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number 601-790-9076.

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➺editor’s letter

by MARILYN TINNIN

Speaking of Fathers…

A ❝

Actor Bill Cosby, as Dr. Cliff Huxtable, is for many the face of fatherhood in American pop culture. The long running Cosby Show, one of the last prime time sit-coms revolving around a traditional family, offered a weekly dose of practical parental wisdom and laugh-out-loud humor.

In the very first episode in 1984, teenaged son Theo Huxtable, announces to his dad that he has decided not to go to college but to graduate high school, get a job and be a “regular person.”

Theo does not want to spoil the enjoyment of life by having to work too hard. Cosby’s first line of persuasion is to give Theo $1200 in Monopoly money to represent a monthly salary. He proceeds with a crash course about the cost of living.

Theo, with barely a dollar remaining in his fist after the imaginary taxes and expenses, is undeterred and tells his dad basically, “I don’t care about being successful. You should just accept me the way I am just because I am your son.”

Cosby, aka Dr. Huxtable draws a breath and locks eyes with his son. The silent stare is itself a loud message. With a no-nonsense tone, a firm but loving father lets his son know that there are certain non-negotiables in the Huxtable family and hard work and college are among them. It was a timeless lesson well remembered.

Observing Theo’s stubborn immaturity and his father’s principles brought to mind I Corinthians 13:11. “When I was a child I thought like a child.

When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” And who better than a father can, over time, shape and mold the man (or woman).

Cliff Huxtable was always more concerned with building his children’s character than win-

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it .

❞

– Proverbs 22:6.

ning a popularity contest. Reminds me of the way God operates—when He speaks of “conforming us to His image” (Romans 12), He frequently hands us a few circumstances we would not have chosen. There are some hard things in life, and to think…God the father allows them and works in them because of his unrelenting love for each one of us. I’m still looking for the illusive bible verse that says, “Thou shalt have no discomfort.”

It’s just not there.

In this issue Carey Casey, CEO of the National Center for Fathering, describes himself as the “Chief Encouragement Officer,” urging American men to step up to the plate and be “Championship Fathers.” Casey is also a member of the White House Task Force for Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage. He affirms that even secular research continues to agree with God’s word when it comes to parenting.

Involved fathers play a critical role in a child’s healthy development as a human being.

The staggering statistic that 24,000,000 children in the US go to bed each night without their biological father in the home is absolutely beyond sad. In this broken world, there are just some longings that run so deep within our hearts that they are part and parcel of our DNA. I wonder if our innate father hunger is all about our incompleteness apart from our heavenly father. Augustine said it best. “Our hearts are restless till they rest in Thee.” Indeed. Y

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com

From Marilyn’s Bookshelf: Summer Reads

Crazy Love Francis Chan

6 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

The Cool Woman John Aubrey Anderson

When the Game is Over It all Goes Back in the Box

Beautiful Things Happen When a Woman Trust God

John Ortberg

Sheila Walsh

Intervention Terri Blackstock

HE A LT HC A R E f o r w o m e n b y w o m e n.

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JOHN AUBREY ANDERSON June 30th Book Signing

Lt. Bill Mann is in Vietnam for one reason… to use his aircraft, The Cool Woman, to make his mark as a fighter pilot.

After six months in combat, Mann is fighting wars within a war… his wife is divorcing him, people in his squadron snub him, and he’s short days away from learning… there are things worse than dying.

Air Force veteran, career airline pilot and MSU Alum (’62), John Aubrey Anderson weaves a tale of accomplishment and failure, of bliss and misery in The Cool Woman. Meet native Deltan and MSU alum John Aubrey Anderson and his wife, the former Nan Allen of Moorhead at a special signing at MSU on June 30.

Go to JohnAubreyAnderson.com for details.

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Advice that works.

from our readers This month MCL asked our readers,

“What do you admire most about your father?”

“He’s quick to apologize and forgive which is a very noble trait.”

Suzanna McMahan

“My dad died when I was fourteen and I am now 76, but remember him as if it were just yesterday, he was what a father should be, kind, gentle, understanding, and the best listener I have ever known. I think that is what children need today, somebody to really listen to their worries, thoughts, and ideas.”

Charlotte H. Buchanan

“He could talk to a high profile person and then talk to the mechanic and treat both with equal respect. You could never tell that he considered one to be “more important” than the other. He taught me, by his actions, the meaning of the Bible verse about not showing partiality.”

Nancy Floyd Patrick

“Daddy died 40 years ago, but what I will always remember is his unconditional love and anybody who knows me knows how unlovable I was and continue to be.”

Martha Marshall

“He is a son of God. He loves the Lord. He is an honest man. Full of so much love. A man of integrity. The first man I ever loved. Proud to say he is my daddy!”

Julia Gomez

“That he loved my sister and me unconditionally. My daughter paid him

the greatest compliment at her high school baccalaureate service when she said he was as close to Jesus as anyone she knew with his unconditional love.”

Kay Bilbrey McDonnell

“He’s slow to anger and quick to forgive...”

Suzanna McMahan

From Our Contributors “My Father modeled for me what is like to be an encourager of other people. He always had an optimistic view of life and helped people in his path."

Martin E. Willoughby Jr.

“My father believed that family was the most important thing in life. Even if he did not agree with our choices, he was generous with and supportive of his family.”

Susan Deaver

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➺the way i see it

by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

SHIFTING BLAME T

he argument usually goes like this, “She hit me first!” This is followed by something like, “That is not true—he pulled my hair first!” A series of claims and counterclaims have to be deciphered through as we try to bring peace back to our household. Knowing that punishment is likely to follow, each child jockeys to shift blame and responsibility to the other. Unfortunately, making excuses and shifting blame is not limited to childhood skirmishes. A failure to take 100% responsibility for our lives is something that affects most of us on some level.

This is not a new problem. Think back to Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve. When God comes looking for Adam in the Garden and asks him “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

What does Adam say? Instead of taking responsibility, he essentially says “it was Eve’s fault.” When God poses the question to Eve “What have you done?” she also fails to take responsibility and places the blame on the serpent.

It seems to be in our DNA to shift responsibility. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, we are totally responsible for our lives. I admit this is not an easy truth to deal with. I have been wrestling with this

truth and thinking about all of the excuses and blame shifting that I tend to do instead of taking responsibility for my life. I believe there is a tendency to passively watch as life just “happens” to us versus being purposeful about the course. The ramifications of failing to take responsibility for our actions are huge in our society, in our workplaces, and in our personal lives.

For example, if we don’t take responsibility as a society, then we can allow reckless companies to pollute the environment, or we can burden future generations with mountains of debt that won’t be able to repaid. In a workplace, irresponsibility can be toxic to an organizational culture.

Successful teams are built on a foundation of trust. Irresponsible behavior and blame-shifting destroys trust. Finally on a personal level, I believe we all were put here for a purpose and that each of us has a unique calling to fulfill. However, we can easily get off track from fulfilling our purpose when we fail to take responsibility for our lives.

I don’t deny that there are problems of racism, sexism, ageism, and many other “isms” that are systemic evils in our world. Further, we all know that bad things can happen to good people. However, it becomes freeing to know that regardless of how we were raised, how much education we received, or how we have been treated by others, that we still have the power to choose how we react to our circumstances. I will never forget as my grandmother died from cancer the grace and dignity she exhibited, and how she was more concerned that her circumstances did not destroy my young faith than her own struggles. I am always inspired when I read about people who have tragic accidents who instead of choosing to wallow in self-pity, decide to make a difference with their lives. That is the power of taking full responsibility for life.

For some reason, it is always easier to notice someone else’s irresponsibility than our own. I am encouraged though, to look in the mirror and try to start dealing with my own irresponsibility. I also know that as a believer that “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength,” and that in spite of my own fear and failures that I can become 100% responsible for my life. Y Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is an attorney/business consultant with Willoughby Law Group, PLLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife Nicki have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.

10 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Ijgc^c\ ndjg YZW^i XVgY ^cid V e^\\n WVc` bV`Zh XZcih Since Mom now lives alone, do you worry that she may need help when you aren’t there?

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Extended range eliminates your need to rush to answer the phone, keeping you safer in and around the home.

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by CYNDI GRACE

➺

special feature

A Valiant Story

W

hen I was in high school my daddy and I shared a car. He was a baker and got home around 1:00p.m., so when I got home after school the car was mine! Now, please don’t imagine this was a “shiny” anything for it was a 1962 Plymouth Valiant with a rusted-out backseat floorboard. I think this particular car was designed after the WW II Sherman tank (only uglier) and was one of the reasons Plymouth had financial troubles in the 70’s! It was ours though and I was proud I had anything to drive at all! Most of my destinations were to work and piano lessons but one night I had a meeting at a friend’s house. During the meeting the weather became quite foggy.

Being a novice driver I didn’t think much about it until I backed into a fire hydrant and dented the passengerside back fender. I was distressed and quite terrified! What would my daddy think and what method of slow death would he employ?

Now, you need to understand I was an extreme daddy’s girl so those were not rational thoughts! Gathering my wits about me, I drove the car into our driveway and did what any good Christian girl would do—I prayed healing for the fender!

Since Daddy left for work around midnight, I knew that he wouldn’t notice the dent right away so I had time to figure out what to do in case God had not healed it (which He didn’t!).

That afternoon, Daddy greeted me as always and kissed me goodbye as I headed to work.

“What was he up to? It must be a trap!” were my thoughts. That night I found myself sheepishly walking around the house, avoiding all eye contact and conversation while my daddy had the nerve to act as if nothing had happened.

This went on for about a week…I became angry, moodier than usual, and snapped at Daddy whenever he spoke. This daddy’s girl wanted nothing to do with her sweet daddy and avoided him at any cost!

The tension became unbearable so I finally decided I had to just fess up and receive my

punishment. I marched into the den where Daddy was watching Wheel of Fortune and quickly blurted out, “Okay! I hit a fire-hydrant and dented the car!” I closed my eyes awaiting what was to come…only silence…and then peeking I saw tears in daddy’s eyes. Then I heard the words, “Cyndi, I knew you had dented the car the day after it happened. I was just waiting for you to tell me so I could tell you it is okay, I love you. All I wanted was for you to trust me.” I hugged him and also began to cry. There we were, blubbering idiots, knowing something wonderful had happened…our relationship was restored.

Yes, confession is good for the soul, but more than that it is good for relationships-especially with our heavenly Father. Many times I have felt God was far away only to realize I had “dented a ‘life’ fender” and refused to admit it. I had avoided His presence and even avoided others who knew Him! Maybe you have been there too.

Please learn that when confession occurs, so does relief and restored relationships. We also rediscover “the joy of our salvation.” (Psalm 51) Confession, however, is more than saying, “forgive me of my many sins.” True confession is admitting specific things like: pride, bad thoughts, bitterness, or anger. Many times we only focus on the outward or physical sins and think we are home-free…our Father wants inward sins to be cleansed for that is a part of what it means to be “Pure in Heart.”

How’s your relationship with God? Does He seem far away? Ask yourself if you have “dented” something and think it will just go away? It won’t. Dent denials hurt relationships. Take it from me, just tell Him about it and you will truly understand that He loves you and wants you to trust Him…blubbering and all! Y Cyndi Grace is a conference speaker and women’s Bible teacher. She and her husband live in Clinton. www.cyndi grace.com

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

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metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 13

➺education connection

by DR. NANCY NEW BOYLL

A Blossoming Family—The Joy of Grandparenting

T

Through God’s great design, at some point most of us will experience the joy of being a grandparent. Once apprehensive parents evolve into wise grandparents; accompanied by new perceptions of children and the innocence of youth. Absent is trepidation replaced instead with the ever present desire to share in the joy of each new accomplishment and milestone. A lifetime of experience leaves us with a quiet confidence that helps steady parents and ultimately allows us to more fully enjoy experiences with not only our grandchildren but our children as well!

Experience is the great teacher. To be a parent is truly the most wonderful and rewarding privilege one can receive. God entrusts children into their parents’ care. As is often noted, once our beloved package has arrived there is no instruction manual.

But there are tutors! As grandparents, we are allowed the second chance of positively influencing the lives of our grandchildren. At times, it may seem like walking a tightrope…you may see things and want to say something but are unsure how your intervention may be perceived. Using your wisdom and intuition, you will know what to say and how to say it. You can support your children as a wise loving parent and nurture and empower them in their newfound role ultimately enhancing your relationship with them.

James Cruise, of Clinton, relates, “Having a grandson makes me proud to see another generation of my family beginning, and gets me to thinking back to when I was growing up and the wonderful experiences my son and

daughter-in-law will have in the future.”

As grandparents, we receive the absolute delight of relating to and with our gorgeous grandchildren. Time and experience have bestowed us with special qualities, gifts and talents that can be applied to each relationship in our family. Each grandchild is unique and by using our intuition we are able to connect with them individually and develop a special relationship with each of them. Sharing our own experiences of growing up and insight into another time with our grandchildren is a very rich experience to share; one which is unique to only you and them. As a grandparent, we are granted a unique, different perspective.

Cheryl Saffle, of Brandon, sums it up “Until you encounter the joy of your grandchildren, you have not yet experienced everything that life has to offer. This experience is so worth the wait. The love of your children’s children is everything!” We are able to enjoy a different parenting experience with our grandchildren, with none of the demands we had with our own children. You know how wonderful it is for your children to be able to give their children to someone else who knows them and loves them. Y Dr. Nancy Boyll is the Executive Director of New Summit School Services and the Mississippi Community Education Center. For more information on New Summit School’s services, call us at (601) 9827827, or visit our website at www.newsummitschool.com.

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fresh finds

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Finding the Best Gift for Dad What to get dad? It’s an impossible question. Either he has everything or he doesn’t need anything. Well, let us help you find the best gift for dad and make his day extra special!

FOR THE COOK

1 Ala Carte Alice

3

If your dad loves to cook and eat then he will love these dips, mixes and recipe ideas!

Yummy Cajun Shrimp and Grits Apple Annie’s 601-992-9925

2

2 Captain Rodney’s

4

1

The popular boucan-glaze Apple Annie’s 601-992-9925

3 New South Grilling

by Robert St. John O! How Cute 601-825-5080

4 Grandmother’s Pancake Mix O! How Cute 601-825-5080

7

5 The full package suit Find the winning combination 6 Every man needs a tie Tons of variety

7 All in the details

5

FOR THE PROFESSIONAL Dad’s work hard, so make it easy for him to look his best with a handsome tie or custom suit.

6

Find these items at Kinkade’s 601-898-0513, 120 W. Jackson Street, Suite 2B, Ridgeland, MS

Dress him from head to toe

8 Brunswick Traviso Pool Table The Cadillac of pool tables 9 Tornado Foosball Table Who doesn’t love this game?

10 The Level Best Shuffle Board Competition and fun at its best!

FOR THE GAMER Make his “guy room” complete, and start a family game night with the best in billiards!

9

8 10

Find these items at Game Room Gallery 601-853-7777, 660 Ridgewood, Rd., Ridgeland, MS metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 15

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First Presbyterian Day School

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16 JUNE 2010 â?˜ Metro Christian Living

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cause & effect Join us for a colorful night of music, food and art.

A silent auction will be held showcasing numerous artists and unique creations of change. Ƥ ǡ Ǧ Ƥ Ǥ

thursday,

june 10th ͡Ǧͥ

$20 admission

for tickets and additional info:

www.jacksonreclaimed.com

Jackson Reclaimed is gracious sponsored by:

CREATINGCHANGEFOROURCITY

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Creating Change “If we are in Christ we are a new creation.

The old has gone and the new has come.”

– 2 Corinthians 5:17

T

he Jackson Reclaimed show is returning to unite the talent of local artists and advocate positive change in the Jackson community. In 2009, the inaugural event raised nearly $20,000 for the ministry of Mission First.

This year the Jackson Reclaimed art show is sure to inspire, energize and engage those from all over the metro area. A collection of art from regional and local artists will be displayed during a silent auction, along with art made from reclaimed materials to foster transformation throughout the Metro.

Jackson Reclaimed is an idea of many who want to share the message of the Father’s redemptive plan clearly communicated through art. We have one Creator who adores us all the same.

We live in one broken world that is quickly passing away, and we have but one hope. Christ is that hope. Artist and CoFounder of Jackson Reclaimed, Christy Henderson shares the vision for the 2010 event, “We truly want to make Jackson a beautiful picture of change in Christ with a reclaimed spirit ready for eternity.”

In addition to the annual art show, volunteers work with children at the Perkins Center during the after-school program to create pieces of art and share the love of Christ. Each week the children work on different projects with a biblical message using water colors, acrylics, wood, and crayons.

During the art show their projects will be on display and the children will

attend to see their art on display and gain a sense of accomplishment for their hard work. Creating change starts with these children and through art they learn the beauty of encouragement and love.

All proceeds from the Jackson Reclaimed Art show will directly benefit the John M. Perkins Foundation for Reconciliation and Development. The inner-city ministry is dedicated to seeing the gospel of Jesus Christ restore entire communities across America. Through this partnership the proceeds from the Jackson Reclaimed art show will directly support the needs of the Children’s ministry at the Perkins Center.

The 2010 event is scheduled for Thursday, June 10th from 5-9:00p.m. at The Cedars in Fondren.

Admission is $20. Enjoy a colorful evening of food, music, and art.

For more information visit: www.jacksonreclaimed.com or email jacksonreclaimed@gmail.com. Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 17

âžşin black & white

by JENNIFER LYLES

Real Friendships Run Deep

M

Mission Mississippi’s logo includes this phrase, “Changing Mississippi...One relationship at a Time.� How do we do it? I sat down with Eric Stringfellow and Charles Pickering, Sr., personal friends who probably would never have become so close except for their intentional involvement in Mission Mississippi. They differ not only in race, but come from different generations with very different upbringing, they’ve chosen very different professions and share little from a political view—but all of these differences pale in the face of what they have in common—their relationship in Christ.

Stringfellow, an African American raised in the city of Jackson during the busing period and Pickering, a Caucasian raised in rural Jones County are certainly as different in most respects, as “black and white�. Their intentional involvement in what we call a relationship discussion group where two white people and two black people meet once a month to get to know each other beyond the cordial. Coexisting with the other race encompass what we call a true “Mission Mississippi Moment�. “People are people.� Stringfellow explains. Learning to look past

2089 Lakeland Dr., Jackson, MS www.tinninimports.com 18 JUNE 2010 â?˜ Metro Christian Living

Charles Pickering Sr., and Eric Strongfellow find common ground and friendships as believers.

color helped him have a healthy outlook by looking at everyone as just people, “It was almost a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it was of course good, but then on the other hand it was almost naĂŻve to not see color and our differences.â€? Stringfellow shares he grew up never having a problem coexisting with the other race, but never pushed past the barrier of polite pleasantries until his involvement with Mission Mississippi where he allowed himself to get outside his comfort zone and really get to know someone so fundamentally different than he. Due to this involvement he felt that his relationship with Pickering pushed him to have the hard conversations and real dialogue to the point there is no venting or bitterness to hide behind that would hinder really understanding the other person’s heart.

The two agree that their friendship has grown deeper by learning to look past the other’s color and different opinions, yet agree that believing there are no color nor race issues today is not solving the problem. The change brought by Mission Mississippi is a personal transformation that allows one to be able to accept another’s differences openly. Both agree they are blessed to have had this opportunity through Mission Mississippi which taught them that a relationship and learned respect for each other as Christians is an “act of obedience� that can contribute to eventually breaking any hostilities our society faces today. “Everyone should have a friend across racial lines with whom one can relate and converse. It is an enriching experience and gives helpful insight,� states Pickering. Dwelling on our diversity hinders us from celebrating our unity.� Pickering explained that Mission Mississippi has helped him see how much we gain from learning from another person who differs from us, which is not a negative factor, but something that can make us stronger together.

Stringfellow and Pickering worked together on several articles professionally and built a “professional friendship,� but through Mission Mississippi they were forced to find a deeper bond. The two agree that they do not see eye to eye on many things, but they do agree that Mission Mississippi is indeed working and believe racial reconciliation in the Body of Christ is the only thing that is going to work past our differences economically, culturally, and politically. They were the first to serve as cochairs for the Governor’s Prayer Luncheon Committee and both still serve on that committee as well as Board of Directors. Y See www.missionmississippi.org or call 601 352 6477 for more information on Mission Mississippi and racial reconciliation in Mississippi.

food for thought

P

Summer Picnic Salads

lanning the perfect picnic is a must for summer time. After a long winter, start a tradition of hosting a fabulous picnic to honor your father on Father’s Day, or anytime your family and friends want to gather in the great outdoors. Plan to have an easy menu and take along foods that are your family’s favorites.

When planning your summer picnic, be sure to include a “standup

salad”…the kind that holds up to our Mississippi summer heat. I have chosen three salads that have simple ingredients you can whip up the night before, and put in your cooler the next day.

TIP: Keep the dressings in side containers and dress the salads once you’ve set up in your favorite picnic site.

Tomato-Basil-Asparagus Pasta Salad

Crunchy Slaw (The dressing for this Asian-inspired coleslaw is best made the day before) DRESSING 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup vinegar 1/3 cup canola oil 1 chicken seasoning packet from ramen noodles Freshly ground black pepper

SLAW 1 pound package chopped coleslaw mix 1/2 cup shelled sunflower seeds 1/3 cup toasted sliced almonds (or other nuts) 1 bunch green onions, chopped 1 package ramen noodles, broken into little pieces

In a jar mix together all dressing ingredients and shake well. Refrigerate 24 hours. For Slaw, in a salad serving bowl toss together all slaw ingredients. Pour dressing over slaw just before serving and mix well.

(This recipe comes from Square Table in Oxford, Mississippi. To order this cookbook, go to oxfordarts.com)

by LYDIA BOLEN

1 16 ounce package bow tie pasta 1 pound asparagus, cut into 2-inch pieces Lemon vinaigrette (Wishbone Lemon Garlic and Herb Vinaigrette) 1 (1 ounce) package fresh basil, chopped 1 pint grape tomatoes, halved

Cook 1 (16 ounce) package bow tie pasta according to the directions; adding 1 pound asparagus (cut into 2-inch pieces) during the last 2 minutes of cooking time. Drain and rinse under cool water. Stir together 1 cup bottled lemon vinaigrette and 1 (1 ounce) package fresh basil, chopped. Pour 3/4 cup dressing mixture over pasta mixture. Stir in 1 pint grape tomatoes, halved, and salt and pepper to taste. Cover and chill 1 hour. Toss pasta mixture with remaining 1/4 cup dressing before serving. Garnish with fresh basil. Add sliced grilled chicken, feta, blue cheese, or black olives for some tasty variations.

Makes 4 main-dish or 8 side-dish servings.

Fresh Fruit Salad 6 peaches, peeled, pitted, and chopped 1 pound strawberries, rinsed, hulled, and sliced 1/2 pound seedless green grapes, sliced 1/2 pound seedless red grapes, sliced 3 kiwi, peeled and sliced 1/2 cup granulated sugar, or less, to taste

DRESSING Juice of one lime 1/2 cup pineapple juice

Combine chopped and sliced fruits in a large bowl; toss gently. Sprinkle with sugar. Whisk together remaining ingredients in a small bowl or 1 cup measure. Pour dressing mixture over the fruit and toss gently to combine. Cover and chill the fruit salad thoroughly before serving.

Serves 10 to 12.

Remember to make memories through the kitchen….”the heartbeat of the home”! Go to my blog for more recipes and email me anytime you have questions. www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com or Lbbolen@gmail.com.

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June 12 | Saturday | 9 a.m.

Downtown Concerts 2010

Two outdoor concerts in the heart of downtown.

August 6 | Friday | 6 p.m.

The evening of Bikes, Blues & Bayous

September 18 | Saturday | 6 p.m.

The evening of 300 Oaks Road Race

www.MainStreetGreenwood.com sponsored in part by Greenwood Convention and Visitor’s Bureau metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 19

➺cover story

R CAREY CASEY

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Championship Fathering

“

My father was consistent in his work ethic and his integrity. He taught me to remain teachable and how to be kind. He taught me the greatest thing I can do is to be a man of God, a husband and a father.

F

For the last four years, Carey Casey has been the CEO of the National Center for Fathering, but as he shares he’s really the “Chief Encouragement Officer”. And he doesn’t take that title lightly. He is encouraging 6.5 million men— roughly 10 percent of the fathers in America—to get in the game and play the most important position in life, Daddy. He sees the urgency in our culture to restore the family and tells men, “you got to get in the game and we don’t need spectators, we need players.”

20 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

”

a

Malachi 4:6 “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”

a

Laying the Foundation That premise began early in his childhood as he watched his father, Ralph Casey, participate in his life, engaging, teaching, encouraging. He would take Carey and his brothers on drives down the back roads outside of Salem, Virginia to discuss sex, drugs, alcohol, how to respect women and the many temptations of life. He wanted to equip his boys with the right tools to navigate life and go down a road of influence. For Carey, that road started at a bus stop in Salem, Virginia. It was a racially sensitive time in the country and as Carey stood next to his dad, he looked up at a big yellow bus full of white athletes with uncertainty and fear, he would understand years

“Carey, fathering is who you are,” he never looked back. His new call to duty would take him into a battle he was prepared to lead.

His predecessor Dr. Ken Canfield who founded the National Center for Fathering in 1990, left him with a battle plan in the middle of his desk on his first day, Malachi 4:6 “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” Along with that scripture and the knowledge that every child thrives when they have an involved father in their life, Casey has set out to cover the country with fathers. “There are 65 million

later why he was there, but in that moment His dad simply said, “Get on the Bus.” And Carey did what he was told. That bus would take him to Black Mountain, North Carolina for his first Fellowship of Christian Athletes sports camp and his life wouldn’t be the same. “My dad had vision.

At that time he knew I needed to know all about different races and cultures. He would say, ‘If you’re going to lead the orchestra, you’ve got to turn your back to the crowd.’” When Carey got off the bus from the FCA camp he was ready to receive the call to duty the Lord had put in his heart.

In the years following, if Carey wasn’t on the football field he was in the pews at the First Baptist Church of Salem listening to the wisdom of Dr. James Braxton. Pastor Braxton was an educated man who encouraged Carey to use the gifts the Lord had given him to impact others. In high school, Carey went onto play in the 1971 Virginia State Championship - the real life game that was later documented in the movie, Remember the Titans. After graduation Lord led him down the road to the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill where he received his bachelor’s degree and as running back he helped to lead his team to the ACC Championship in 1977.

With his athletic background and a call to influence, it only seemed natural that he found himself back with FCA. He worked with the ministry for 18 years in different roles influencing players and coaches to be the best men they could be. When the opportunity became available to take over the position with the National Center for Fathering, he was at first hesitant, but after his wife, Melanie of 32 years that he still calls his bride, said

fathers in America, and I want to get to 10%. I’ve learned you don’t have a lot of people to have a movement all you need is about 10% of the folks really willing to move in the same direction and you can start a movement.

So I’m trying to get 6.5 million fathers to live out Championship Fathering,” expresses Casey. “And I wonder what does that movement look like? Well, most men are two and a half feet wide, and shoulder to shoulder 6.5 million men could reach from Boston Harbor to San Diego that’s what it looks like and that way we can change the culture from a fatherless culture into a fathering culture.”

a

A Call to Duty Being a father in his own home, Casey knows through his own life experience how important a father is to a child and how a relationship with the eternal father can empower change. “My father was consistent in his work ethic and his integrity. He taught me to remain teachable and how to be kind. He taught me the greatest thing I can do is to be a man of God, a husband and a father.”

Now, Casey is doing the same and living his dream, “I just didn’t know it was going to be this busy or this hard.” As a father to four (Christie, Patrice, Marcellus, and Chance) and Grandfather to five, Carey sure keeps busy fathering his own. He believes his solid marriage has been a firm foundation for his children to see and seek in their own lives. Christie is a High School principle in Kansas City, Patrice is married to John Perkins,

metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 21

Just as it is the first commandment, so is it in fathering. Showing love to When a father takes interest in their child’s life their outlook on life son of John M. Perkins, they live here in Jackson and he serves as the Development Director for the John M. Perkins Foundation. Marcellus and his wife Stephanie live in Champagne, Illinois and serve with FCA. His youngest, 13-year-old, Chance loves to play tennis.

In addition to his duties at home and “the Center”, Casey serves on the White House Task Force for Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage. After a call from President Obama to assist him in navigating this important area of our country’s culture, Casey jumped on board. “We’re at a critical stage where fathers are not there, they are checking out. I think this is the most optimistic opportune time in the history of fathering in America. Other fathering groups around the country are coming together and the government is behind us.” As the only research based initiative in

the country, the Center for Fathering provides reports and research that reveal the impact the father has on his children and his family when he is not present in their lives. As Casey shares, “Twenty-four million children will go to bed tonight without their biological father in their home. When a father’s not there or involved in a child’s life, they’re more likely to be poor, more likely to drop out of school, more likely to be involved in a violent crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teenagers.”

Serious matters for a serious cause.

a

Building Championship Fathers After further research, the Center found there are three fundamentals of fathering that Casey reveals in his book, Championship Fathering.

1

Loving Just as it is the first commandment, so is it in fathering. Showing love to a son or daughter expresses acceptance and confidence.

When a father takes interest in their child’s life their outlook on life can be changed. With the emotional and physical absence of a father a child is more likely to experience anxiety, substance abuse, lack of confidence, a variety of physical and mental health problems and even more so a loss of hope.

Often the father is not around because the family unit is broken, but Casey says this shouldn’t be an excuse for father to not be present. “In 1960, the percentage of African-American babies born out of wedlock was 20-25%. In 2010 it’s now at 72%. So we have to change that culture of our

22 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

community. I tell men of my color, guys you can’t wait on someone to do this for us, we have to stay in the game, we can’t quit. They say well it’s better for the kids we’re not there or we’re not married anymore because we always argue, well I say, find a way to stop arguing. That daughter is going to want to be blessed by her daddy and that son will need attention from his dad.”

2

Coaching “There are a lot of dads making a lot of money, driving nice cars and getting their kids nice things, but bottom line is that they are not involved in their kid’s lives, they’re not coaching them. They are not telling them they love them or picking up their children when they fail. They often provide, but don’t protect,” shares Casey. “God made us human beings not human doings. The things and money won’t fill that void, but having God in your heart will.”

In Championship Fathering, Coaching is expressed from a scriptural focus in Proverbs, 22:6 “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Most of us have been coached in a sport or activity on the playground, in class or on the ball field, so the idea of coaching is identifiable to all of us. When a father is able to coach their son or daughter in life they not only learn a lesson, but they remember the time their father took out of his busy schedule to have “practice” and coach him or her.

3

Modeling Watching your father respond to a person in need or when someone has embarrassed them stays with you at any age.

Children look to their fathers for guidance. For better or worse, their eyes are open; watching and waiting to see the man they call dad respond. As Casey expresses, “We can’t just preach it; we have to model it.”

There are models in all of our lives—someone you want to more like in their work ethic or someone you don’t want to be like in their deceptive ways. Men often want to model their lives after other men who are successful in their careers and how many “things” they own, but Casey shares, “the greatest thing you can do is to not have a title, but have a testimony.”

a

What it Takes Becoming a championship father takes work and it is more than the title of Casey’s book, it is an initiative of the Center to get men committed to living out their role as a father. The center reaches over one million men through various offerings. There are events for fathers to attend with and without their children, they can visit the Center’s website www.fathers.com

a

a son or daughter expresses acceptance and confidence. can be changed. to learn more about committing to the characteristics of a championship father or attend seminars to learn the skills of a championship father. There is also the Watch D.O.G.S. (Dads of Great Students) initiative the Center offers that focuses on the prevention of violence in schools, by using the positive influence of fathers and or father-figures, within schools. It has been highly successful in increasing father involvement in the educational lives of children as well.

In addition to the fundamentals of Loving, Coaching, and Modeling, Championship Fathering, also identifies the need to encourage other kids and enlist other dads. By being an encouraging mentor for a child who doesn’t have a male figure, the child can grow in confidence and self-worth. The enlistment of other fathers is simply asking a friend or co-worker who might be in the similar life situation to join in this journey.

The National Center for Fathering has local ties with long-time Jackson resident Lee Paris who has been involved with the center for twelve years and now serves as the organization’s Chairman. Lee is a father of three and a tireless worker of change. He has also served as the former board chairman of Mission Mississippi, a non-profit organization whose mission is to encourage and express unity across racial and denominational lines.

For Mr. Paris his commitment to the Center is simple, “If the father’s would fulfill their biblically mandated roles the ills of society would be greatly reduced. Rather than dealing with the many issues we need to get to the root of the problem which is a lack of a personal relationship with the heavenly father and the earthly father fulfilling his role. I feel that is one of the greatest ministries we can be involved in.” Paris added, “We’re a part of training men to be fathers and we need help at the local level. I would love to see Jackson residents create a center for fathering with an active local board that shares a common interest in helping to implement the services the center offers.” This summer Paris and Casey will travel to South Africa to establish a Center for Fathering and teach other man what the Lord has taught them about fathering.

a

Continuing the Journey The journey for Carey Casey has been an exciting one. From marrying his bride 32 years ago to watching his four children grow up into fine young women and men and now earning his stripes as Grandpa Casey, life has

been full. He has worked beside legendary men such as Hall of Fame Coach Tom Landry as the chaplain for the Dallas Cowboys and with numerous football players and coaches assisting them with player development. He has often been the teacher, teaching through story after story, most coming from lessons he learned from his teacher, his father.

“It took me a long time to realize it, but almost every new lesson I learn about fathering I can see illustrated somehow in my dad’s life,” he shares.

“That’s not to say my father was perfect. There will never be a perfect dad except God. And, as perfect as He is, He has the most dysfunctional children, and I’m one of them. But when you come right down to it, virtually everything I know about fathering I saw in my dad.”

The impact of a father is far-reaching and the influence on his children is often underestimated. Simple acts of fathering such as, sitting with a little girl as she plays dolls or playing catch with a young boy can have a tremendous impact. When a daddy is there to sow seeds of protection, provision, counsel, guidance, support and love into the hearts of their children generations will reap benefits for years to come. And when that child, young or old, nourishes their heart with the love of their heavenly father a championship is won. Y For more information on The Center for Fathering visit www.fathers.com or call 800-593-DADS. To learn more about what The Center for Fathering is doing in Jackson contact Lee Paris at Lparis@meadowbrookcap.com

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MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF ORTHODONTISTS metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 23

➺legal advice

by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

We Own it Together—Isn’t that Best?

M

any people own their home and sometimes other property as “joint tenants with rights of survivorship” That means when the first joint tenant dies, the survivor automatically owns the asset without any court or lawyers, no delay or expense. Sounds good, but what happens when the second one passes away? Your family goes to court.

You have not eliminated probate, just delayed it. And you may have given the survivor sufficient assets to create a death tax problem for their own estate. This type ownership is often found between spouses. It can work well, or it can have several problems. If you want to own property jointly with a spouse and still have the lifetime protection and no probate, without creating an additional tax problem, then use a Living Trust, not joint tenancy with rights of survivorship, sometimes referred to as JTWROS. A really big problem with joint ownership comes when one of the joint tenants becomes incapacitated due to a stroke, Alzheimer’s disease, or some other cause. The other owner can do nothing with the property just because they are a joint owner. More will be required. Some people rely upon a durable power of attorney. While that sounds good, it may not work when the time comes. Because no one is required by law to honor a power of attorney, it is purely voluntary. Some businesses may not allow you to use a power of attorney. A power of attorney to sell real estate has specific requirements.

Very few powers of attorney meet these standards, so a power of attorney may be useless. What do you do then? You go to court for a conservatorship to get someone appointed to act for the incapacitated co-owner. It’s kind of like probate; in fact conservatorship is often called “living probate”.

To avoid these problems you can use a Living Trust. In the case of a

married couple, the Living Trust will allow the competent spouse to have full control over the assets in the trust (including those previously owned as joint tenants with rights of survivorship) without having to go to court. A single person can likewise avoid court by appointing a person of their own choosing as the successor trustee of their Living Trust to take over for them in the event of incapacity. And at death, there is no probate, whether married or single, provided the assets are under the protection of the Living Trust, a very simple procedure.

Many people have put one of their children on the bank account, completely unaware that under Mississippi law there is a presumption that you’re intended to create a JTWROS account, which means that when you die that child gets your whole account, no matter what your Will says. And your account is now exposed to the child’s creditors. Bad mistake. Those creditors could be a result of a child having a divorce, getting sued, going through bankruptcy, etc. But you say “That’s my money!” It was until you put the child on as an additional owner. You did it voluntarily. “But why didn’t they tell me at the bank what the problems were?” Because they are in the banking business, not estate planners. That’s not their job. Remember, there are better ways to avoid probate that do not expose your assets in this way, like a Living Trust.

Get some good advice from a professional familiar with the complex area of estate planning and asset protection. It will likely be one of the best investments you will ever make. And you will sleep better at night. Y William B. Howell is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices law in Ridgeland.

You have worked hard for it.

WHY THROW IT AWAY? We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then what happens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of court or in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choice is yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most of your hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. At your death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to do so promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.

Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be.

Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them after you are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you.

Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spend everything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well over half of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home.

Hear Mr. Howell on the radio

Tuesdays 8:35 am WJNT NewsTalk 1180 24 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

THE LAW FIRM OF

WILLIAM B. HOWELL, LTD. 406 Orchard Park • Ridgeland, Mississippi (601) 978-1700 or (800) 839-7857

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys

let’s talk it over

by MOLLY MEEKS

MN

Finding Peace with the

Retirement Community Transition

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.

And do everything with love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13 ew of us really plan on placing a loved one in an assisted living facility or a retirement community. And we certainly don’t want to talk about it. In fact, it’s probably number one on many of our “topics to avoid” list! However, as we age, it is important to talk about our wishes, concerns and options, so that we will not be forced to make sudden, poorly informed decisions.

Placing a family member in long term care can be one of the greatest stresses a family may experience. As Christians, it is clear that we are called to care for our family members and to honor our mothers and fathers. We might feel that considering nursing home placement is not living up to God’s commandments. Some common barriers that contribute to this guilt are the fear of what others may think of us. We worry, “Am I seen as a selfish and uncaring person who is abandoning my loved one and hiring out my responsibilities?” We fear that these conclusions are in fact true. “Am I truly self-serving? Was a nursing home really necessary now?” If you experience a sense of relief then you might question your commitment even more. “Do I really care if I feel this much relief?” It takes strength and courage to address a topic in which so much emotion is embedded.

It doesn’t help that nursing homes have somewhat of an image problem. Historically, they have been viewed as a place where people who didn’t have family to care for them were “parked” until they died.

The reality is that times have changed. We are living longer and surviving heart attacks, strokes, dementia and other conditions due to advances in medical care. In 2000, 35 million were 65 or older. In 2030, 70 million, or 1 out of 5, are projected to be 65 or older. Our families are often not living nearby or do not have the resources to care for our specialized needs.

In this climate, the nursing home or assisted living facility has become a necessary and appropriate care setting for many of us. Most of these facilities are run by people like ourselves, who are not perfect, but are caring with good intentions, and who have specialized medical knowledge. They are poised to help us if we will let them. God has called us to take care of our family, but He didn’t ask us to do it alone.

As long as we are making these tough decisions with love and respect for each other then we are living according to God’s wishes.

This all sounds good on paper, but is it still normal for caregivers to experience feelings of loss of control, guilt, sadness, grief, and failure when handling this transition? The answer is a resounding YES! It is also normal for your loved one to go through stages of adjustment and grief in response to the placement. During transition it is normal to experience disorganization (can be associated with feelings of displacement, abandonment, despondency, vulnerability, anxiety and sus-

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piciousness), reorganization (characterized by attempts to find meaning in the new setting and make it familiar, establish a routine), relationship building (builds emotional ties with other residents and staff) and stabilization (develops a sense of belonging, becomes home).

Common grief emotions are denial “I’m not that bad”, anger “You put me here!” bargaining “I won’t be any trouble. I can take care of myself if you will just take me home” and acceptance (similar to stabilization).

As the caregiver, remember that it is also important to take care of yourself during this time. Navigating these feelings and stages is challenging and can take a tremendous amount of energy. A caregiver support group will be an invaluable resource. Y Molly Meeks is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Summit Counseling. She is a caregiver for her father who has recently moved to The Blake at Township.

now open ✴ the blake at township ✴ retirement, assisted living & memory care community

✴ Every day of life is a blessing. ✴ providing an affordable luxury alternative in senior living

We strive to offer unmatched care that gives a joyful, relaxing home to our residents, providing peace of mind for their families. At the Blake we encourage our residents to live life to the fullest and let us take care of the details.

reserve your apartment and move-in by JUNE 30 and receive a $250 discount each month through 2010.

608 Steed Road Ridgeland, MS 39157 ph: (601) 500-7955 ✴ www.blakeliving.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 25

➺let’s get real

by ALLEN KVALVIK

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Developing Spiritual Leaders at Home Keeping your family when those around you are losing theirs.

It’s hard to keep a family together these days.

There are so many forces that tear at the fabric of families that it’s impossible to create a comprehensive list. Everything from materialism to pornography to workaholism can chip away at a family.

So what is the difference between a family that crumbles and one that stands? I think the answer to that question is the spiritual leadership of a committed husband and father. Spiritual leadership strengthens the family at its very core so that it won’t collapse under the pressure of life.

It’s like making sure that the foundation of a house is level and strong so that the rest of the structure will stand securely for the next 100 years or more.

So with Father’s Day coming soon, here are three ways for a dad to develop the heart of a spiritual leader.

x ● Be a Believer

The first and most important step in becoming a strong spiritual leader is making sure, Dad, you yourself are alive and growing spiritually. Spiritual life comes from believing that Jesus died on the cross in your place, to pay the penalty for your sins. It means being sorry for the things you’ve done wrong and asking God for forgiveness. It means doing your best to live your life in a way that honors the Lord.

If you’ve never done that, then you really can’t lead your family spiritually. It’s like a turtle trying to teach its babies to fly. It’s not just unlikely, it’s impossible. It’s just not in the DNA. But once a man has committed his life to Jesus Christ, he then has the spiritual horsepower to lead his family in his footsteps.

So how about it, dad? Have you once and for all decided to follow Jesus Christ? Have you asked Him to forgive your sins and be your boss?

That’s the first step toward becoming the spiritual leader God intended you to be.

Presents our Community Outreach Project

The Clergy End of Life Education Program By increasing one’s knowledge about end of life issues, this workshop will enhance the ministry of clergy and lay leaders dealing with grieving individuals and their families.

If your church would like to sponsor this free of charge program, please call Shaun Furniss, Bereavement Counselor at 601-939-9288.

2001 Airport Road N, Suite 304 • Flowood, MS 39232 • www.odsyhealth.com

26 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

● Forgiveness

Another important step in becoming your family’s spiritual leader is understanding the power of forgiveness. Forgiving others is great, but knowing you are forgiven is equally important.

Some dads believe that they have messed up too badly in the past for God to use him. Others are scared of the mistakes they might make in the future. Guys who think like that are experiencing a kind of spiritual perfectionism. They don’t think they can be perfect leaders, so they don’t lead at all.

But here’s the truth about perfectionism.

Colossians 1:22-23 says, “Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.” Read it and weep perfectionists! Because of Christ’s death, we don’t have to be perfect leaders. God has declared us fit to lead.

Dads, if you’ve asked Christ into your life, you are released forever from the captivity and burden of your sin. Nothing can keep you from becoming the leader that your family needs. God has called you to lead your family and He wants you to succeed.

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● Acceptance

And that brings us to the third way to strengthen your spirit for leadership. Because of forgiveness, you can embrace the unconditional acceptance of God. Like Colossians 1 shares, every person was once an enemy of God because of sin. But, Dad, because you have been forgiven, you have been reconciled to the Lord forever. That means your friendship with Him is permanent. And because God will never reject you, you don’t have to fear the rejection of other people.

The fear of rejection often makes it hard to lead, especially when a dad has to make hard or unpopular decisions. I know my kids have not always been happy with me when I had to discipline them or otherwise interfere with their lives. But if you’ve placed your faith in Christ and he has forgiven you, then you don’t need to worry if your kids don’t always approve of you. So lead with gentleness, courage and confidence!

Unfortunately, some dads just can’t believe that God unconditionally forgives and accepts them. So this Father’s Day, don’t think you have to get yourself cleaned up before Jesus will help you lead. You come to Him first, and He’s the one who does the cleaning up. Then you’re ready to become a great leader. Y

Allen Kvalvik is happily married to Joyce and has four awesome kids.

He is a pastor in Vancouver, Washington and is a member of the Executive Board of First Class Homeschool Ministries (www.fchm.org).

our daily bread

by SUSAN DEAVER

How Do You Keep “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.� – Romans 12:10

THE FAITH?

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ummertime is almost here and in Mississippi that means high temperatures and lots of humidity. Whether we enjoy vacations at the beach or stay cool at home, prayer and God’s word nurture us and help us on our life journey. To share your story or favorite scripture, please email us at info@metrochristianliving.com.

“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.� – Psalm 31:24 Lynda I believe the days between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day offer a special time to reflect on the kind of life we should live each day—a life which exemplifies the love of Christ for others to see. Everyone can be a mother or father mentor to someone. Bob and I had the opportunity to nurture three wonderful gifts from God: Allen, Hampton, and Allyson. We have also been blessed with grandchildren and have many opportunities to share the love of Christ with them.

God has placed each of us on a different stage in life and calls us to be His disciples. He is the vine and we are the branches. To be a disciple, we must have a personal relationship with Christ.

A young African-American girl came into my life from a prison ministry.

There is no way I can express the joy I receive from having her as my friend. We have shared many hours together and have a special mother daughter relationship. I am not sure who has been mentored the most.

The way in life has been prepared for us. The only way we can follow that path is for Christ to live in and through us. We must have a heart for Him.

Bob I am learning that age provides a wonderful opportunity. When I was much younger, I suppose I believed that you would “arrive�—get where you were supposed to be— and know what you need to know. I have always identified with Romans 12:1-2 but as the years have passed, this scripture has become much more meaningful to me: “... be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is the good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.�

During a recent group study at our church on the book, The Life You’ve Always Wanted (Ortberg), we focused on deeper meaning in various scriptures. Once again I was “transformed by the renewing of your mind.�

It has become clear to me that we never “arrive� but must be on a continuous journey, renewing our mind. This is reinforced in Corinthians 4:16 with “...though our outward humanity is in decay, yet day by day we are inwardly renewed."

Renewing of the mind is essential in personal growth but especially as it relates to the spiritual dimension of our lives. So, what is the message for each of us? Get busy now!

About Lynda and Bob Shive Lynda and Bob Shive have been married 46 years. Their three children are married and have given them nine grandchildren, each of whom is special. Bob has been a Professor of Mathematics and Computer Science at Millsaps College for 41 years. Lynda is very passionate about healthy habits and lifestyle and has a home-based nutrition business. Lynda is a native of Jackson and Bob is from Dallas. Their recipe for a successful marriage is JOY—Jesus, others, you. Y

Susan Deaver is a freelance writer. She and her husband Mac live in Madison and are members of Christ United Methodist Church in Jackson. Contact Susan at sldeaver@comcast.net.

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➺homeworks

by CATHY HAYNIE

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Making the Most of Dorm Rooms and Other Small Spaces

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t won’t be long before 18-year-olds across the country move into dorm rooms and the tiniest closet they have ever seen. Mine will be one of them! That’s nothing, you may be thinking, because tight spaces can be a way of life for many of us. Here are some ideas for the college freshman, those of us that still feel 18, and those of us trying to get more stuff into already full closets. Happy organizing!

Closets: utilize floor to ceiling storage. Step shelves, crates, shoe organizers, and rod extenders to make double rods all help. Hanging space can also be maximized with several tools, including hangers designed for multiple pairs of pants or with multiple clips for skirts or shorts. If you have a particular outfit, such as a skirt and top, that is not a mix and match, hang it together on one hanger. Finally, utilize hanging shoe organizers-not for shoes, but belts, stockings, scarves, rolled up tshirts and the like.

Under the Bed: Unfortunately this may be the best and the only extra storage space in small living spaces. Increase the height of this space by placing the bed on risers. Measure the space that is available and maximize with under the bed boxes, zipper bags, and even small drawer units.

Keeping storage on small casters and selecting units with handles makes for easy access on a daily basis.

Wall Space: Anywhere you have a blank wall, such as behind a door, there is potential storage.

Peg board, shoe bags, wall baskets, or even bulletin boards utilize this space, as well as flat items like full length mirrors, ironing boards, and card tables. Utilize over the door hooks to hang jackets, book bags, and more. A single shelf over a door adds storage without taking up space.

Room storage: Choose side tables with drawer or cabinet storage, and to free up tabletop space beside a bed or chair, select a wall mounted, clip on, or standing lamp. A corner coat rack can hold in and out essentials, like a purse, book bag, umbrella, jacket, and more.

Making Kits: One of the best things you can do to maximize space and stay organized is to sort items into kits. Using the same kind of stacking container, label and fill the bins with school and craft supplies, tools and flashlight, first aid, sewing items, gift wrapping supplies, and extra toiletries.

Most of these containers can be stored up high in the closet, on top of book shelves, or under the bed. Remember that selecting containers in the same color scheme and style not only helps with the overall look of your system, but it allows the items to stack and nest more easily.

Luggage: Suit cases are a good place to store extra blankets, a sleeping bag, or a picnic throw.

Keep only larger, bulky items here so they are easy to set aside when packing for a trip.

Collapsing Items: Laundry baskets, storage crates, chairs, and more are available that collapse or fold. These are great for the car, dorm room, or any home. They store easily in the trunk of a car or in a tight storage spot.

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Other dorm room essentials: a hanging rod for your car to transport clothes is a must—be sure to choose a sturdy one. You will also want a shower caddy and probably a towel wrap, a sit up pillow, and a lap board to utilize your bed for studying. A small folding ironing board and mini vacuum will also come in handy. Y

Cathy Haynie and her husband, Jack, have three children and live in Madison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School in Ridgeland. She occasionally speaks to women’s groups on Honoring God in the Home and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her at chaynie@christcovenantschool.net.

28 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

welcome home

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Get Techno Savvy Learn How to Download and Upload your Digital Photos in 10 Easy Steps

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Watch as your pictures are copied to their nice little folder home. Don’t touch anything! Click Finish when they are completed and the folder will open where you just downloaded your pictures.

Hooray!

on’t keep those summer vacation photos captive on your digital camera. Join forces with your computer and share those memories with everyone (ok, maybe not everyone).

Before you know it you’ll be a digital picture expert and you’re kids will look at you with shock and awe.

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Follow these 10 easy steps toward digital photography freedom!

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Half way there! Time to upload those pictures.

If you want to order quality prints, upload them to a easy website such as kodakgallery.com You will have to create an account on most online photography sites. Once you have logged in, click Upload on the top of the page. Give the album the same name “Destin” and press continue

Download pictures to your computer (easier said than done right?). Find that cord that came with the camera…you know you’ve got it somewhere! Connect the USB cord to the camera and the computer.

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TIP: It’s usually faster to use a memory card reader to copy your pictures than to connect your camera to your computer with a cable.

Your computer software (such as iPhoto on Mac) will open and should transfer the photos automatically, but if you don’t have a program that does this you can do it manually. A screen will appear asking what you want to do with these photos. Choose Copy Pictures to a folder on my computer using Microsoft Scanner and Camera Wizard.

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From here a friendly wizard (yes, it’s like magic) will help you along the way. Click next. Select all the pictures or choose specific photos.

Click next.

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This part could be tricky. Name the group of pictures “Destin” or whatever you desire. Choose My Pictures as the location you want the pictures to go. Click Next.

Upgrade the upload tool for easy uploading. Click browse and select the folder you created when you downloaded the pictures.

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Click open and select the photos by holding down the shift key and selecting the pictures you want to download. Click upload and walk away, get something to drink, brush your hair, or watch the wizards work.

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Once photos are uploaded edit the photos, making sure they are turned correctly so your family won’t have to break their necks to look at your pictures!

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Click share and type in your family and friend’s emails; write a brief message and presto you’re done! Congrats! You did it! Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 29

➺Q&A

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

JUST JIMMY ❝

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ational Christian music recording artist, Jimmy Needham is not a big deal. Really, it’s not about him. What it is about is expressed

in each song on his third album, Night Lights. He shares messages of humility, obedience, and hope through his unique soulful sound. The marriage of electric guitars, bold brass instruments, and soothing vocals fall into perfect harmony. In a recent interview, Needham explains why his newest album is less about him and more about reaching others with the love of Christ.

Q

You just returned from a trip to Israel where you led worship for a church group from Houston. What was that experience like?

A: It was life changing. From waking up on the edge of the Sea of Galilee and watching the sunrise, to leading worship at the tomb where Jesus was resurrected. It doesn’t really land on you until you get home and realize I was there. I walked where Christ walked.

Q

What inspired the creation of your third album, Night Lights?

A: It can be summed up in verse John 3:30 where John the Baptist is talking to the disciples about Jesus and says, “He must increase and I must decrease.” And for me that’s the heartbeat behind this record is this idea of what does it look like to be so about the promotion of Jesus that

30 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

It can be summed up in verse John 3:30 where John the Baptist is talking to the disciples about Jesus and says, “He must increase and I must decrease.” And for me that’s the heartbeat behind this record...

❞

who keep me grounded on that level and who are terribly unimpressed with what I bring to the table. Having older men and women who have kept me on a straightened arrow is helpful.

Q

you really don’t care what happens to your notoriety, your fame, your press. It really comes to head as an artist who is on a stage promoting my music, but also for us as humans. It’s a struggle of what does it look like to not be about us, but be about lifting up Christ.

The fourth song on your album is entitled, “The Reason I Sing”…What are your reasons you get up every day and want to sing?

A: The best thing about what I do is when I’m on stage performing a new song or talking about the gospel and I’m able to make sense out of it for the audience. That moment when I can see on their faces they get what I’m talking about in the gospel, that makes me think okay this is a worthy cause. This is what life is about, bringing hope to people through what Christ did. That’s what gets me up.

Q

Q

In your song “Being Small”, the lyrics ring “if it’s you getting bigger, I don’t mind being small.” So how do you keep small while experiencing continued success?

A: Well, I’m married, which helps. My wife knows how not a big deal I am. She’s able to keep my head on pretty straight. Also, I live in Houston instead of a place like Nashville that is very immersed in the Christian music scene. I have people in my life who don’t know anything about the business and it’s helpful to have people

What song do you feel most connected to?

A:I have different favorite songs. I really enjoy the song, “Moving to Zion” the first song on the record. I’m a big fan of allegory, so I tried my hand at an allegory of my own. I think as a writer it was one of those songs that I felt like I’m really communicating what I wanted to.

Q

You sing, “Maybe success is measured best by nothing less than our obedience.” How have you been obedi-

ent to the Lord during your musical journey?

A: Any obedience I’ve brought to the table has been a direct relation to God being gracious to me because honestly I have many issues. It’s a wonder I haven’t fallen off the deep end. But because God has allowed me to have great community, because I’ve stayed in the word I’ve been able to make some tough decisions that have not necessarily been great career moves, but they’ve been God moves.

Which isn’t always easy. One came when I was newly married and finishing school and I thought we need to figure out how to do this marriage thing before I hit the road and then the Newsboys asked if we wanted to tour together. I was newly signed and turn down the biggest band in Christian music. We’ve had to make some tough decisions, but I’m pleased because I think God has honored those.

Q

Describe the process of your song writing.

A: It’s really varied for me. I’m constantly thinking of lyrics while I’m walking or driving around and I’ll see things take place or reading the word and just a line, a phrase or a new way of thinking about something pops into my head. I’ve got my trusty iPhone with me all the time so I’ll just record that lyric on there. Eventually, once you get about two or three hundred of those you sit down and say what of those sound bites do I like and then flesh out the rest.

Q

How do you face music industry challenges without compromising your individual sound and message?

A: When I got signed back in February of 2006, I just made a decision along with the people who were helping me with this process, to know exactly what I wanted to accomplish and it helped me know what I would and wouldn’t compromise on. It was so relieving to really write out a list and say here are the things I value, things that I want to see happen in my music, in my lyrics that I don’t ever want to see changed.

We’ve just stuck to my convictions and it’s been great. And it hasn’t necessarily brought the notoriety or the success you would want as an artist, but I think ten years from now I’ll look back at the records I’ve made and the choices I’ve made and be pleased that I honored God in those.

Q

You have a unique sound that has a broad reach to many audiences, tell me how you’ve been sculpted that.

A: I grew up listening to the Motown, the oldies, Sam Cooke, Michael Jackson and it just becomes a part of who you are. So when I sit down to write songs, it’s not necessarily I want to write something bluesy, it’s that I can’t help but

write that genre. It’s actually worked in my benefit and it’s kind of neat to have a niche that isn’t necessarily taped into by a lot of people right now in the Christian music industry.

Q

What did you want to be when you grew up?

A: In kindergarten I had two jobs I wanted to do. One, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, I don’t know why, I just thought that could be fun.

I’ll just tell jokes. The other one, right along side stand-up comedian, I wanted to be a nuclear physicist. I think that’s the case because I was so proud of myself that I could say nuclear physicist as a kindergartner.

Q

Outside of music, what are your hobbies?

A: I love to cook. I think if I didn’t do music I might look into something culinary. It’s creating, I create music and I create food on the grill.

Q

How many instruments do you play?

A: I play the guitar and the harmonica. I dabble in everything else.

Q

Who are you listening to on your iPod right now?

A: I’m a huge Michael Buble fan. I just think his voice is like butter! I also listen to Adele. In the Christian music genre I listen to more folky music, like Andrew Peterson. Really anyone who has great lyrics and has something to say I’ll listen to you.

Q

Do you have advice for young musicians?

A: My advice for them comes from my own experience. What happened for me is I did what I did where I was and I tried to do it excellently.

I was writing songs and playing in coffee shops and talking about Jesus on a very small scale and God did the rest. He elevated me and gave me a bigger platform. My advice to guys and girls who are thinking about getting in the music industry is actually something I heard someone say to me once and I’m so glad they did, “You concern yourself with the depth of your ministry and let God concern himself with the width of your ministry.” You focus on becoming a man or woman of God who knows the word, who can communicate it effectively in song, who prayers skillfully to the Lord, who learns their craft well, and then let God decide if you’re going to play for ten people or ten thousand. Then it takes all the pressure off of you. Some don’t like that advice, but I think it’s really relieving to do what I do and let God do the rest. Y To read the interview in its entirety visit www.metrochristianliving.com.

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➺rave reviews BOOKS

Susan’s PICK 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson

If you’re a father cringing at the thought of yet another guilt inducing, what you’re doing wrong kind of book, take heart. Author Jay Payleitner acknowledges that being a good father is a tough job, but wants other fathers to know it’s also a job they can enjoy. In 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, he offers hope, encouragement, and humor for dads who want to make a difference in their children’s lives.

Most suggestions are brief, only two to three pages, and vary. Some are straightforward and easy to implement like “to kiss his wife in the kitchen.” Trying to “get right with his dad” may take more time and effort. You’ll even find a point in ideas such as “buy Peeps the first day they hit the shelves.” The combination of easy, serious, and fun keeps readers engaged.

Time is a constant challenge today, but even the most hurried father can find time to read a small section, with the benefit of finishing a complete thought. You’ll also find a takeaway reflection at each conclusion. Consider taking a year to read through the book, studying and reflecting on how to apply one idea per week.

By offering such varied topics, Payleitner gives fathers a well-rounded view of what children need in an accessible format. Whether you’re just starting out as a father or partway through the journey of raising your children, you’ll find fresh ideas in 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

Predator Reviewed by Suzanne Sansing Riding my bike to Sinbad’s. Dying for a soda…

Ella Charmichael’s last post on her GrapeVyne page told the hunter exactly where to find her. When her body was found, her sister Krista began her own crusade to find the killer through the social networking site that led him to Ella. Predator, the newest release from Terri Blackstock, is a cautionary tale of the dangers of social networking and one grieved sister’s search for a killer.

Ella was a bubbly teenager whose every thought and feeling was posted on the internet. Krista knew the murderer was out there. If only she could find him! She knew he lurked in cyberspace, waiting for the opportunity to strike again. Together with GrapeVyne’s creator, Ryan Adkins, Krista begins to discover that the World Wide Web is more treacherous than she knew. As they delve deeper into the mystery surrounding Ella’s death, more attacks on GrapeVyne users create a new sense of urgency. They must find the killer before he strikes again and prove that GrapeVyne is safe.

Despite the outpouring of support, Krista’s faith has been shaken— Why has God allowed such a beautiful life to be cut short? What is His purpose? Does He have a purpose? By catching the killer, Krista hopes to find the answers she craves.

In this story of faith renewed, Blackstock captivates her audience with a chilling account that resonates in their hearts because of its veracity.

Predator targets anyone whose life has been touched by senseless violence. *Terri Blackstock's book Intervention has been named as a finalist for the Christy Award in suspense. The Christy is an award recognizing excellence in Christian fiction. Y Suzanne Sansing is an avid fiction reader. She holds an English degree from Mississippi University for Women and lives in Jackson.

FILMS

Shrek Reviewed by Julie Whitehead Imagine an ogre undergoing a mid-life crisis, and you have the impetus for the plot of “Shrek Forever After” by Dreamworks Pictures. With the original cast members Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz returning to their roles as Shrek and Fiona, the movie provides a satisfying conclusion to the Shrek saga.

In the land of Far, Far Away, the Shrek triplets are celebrating their first birthday while Shrek is wondering where his life is going. He feels so trapped in his own domesticity that he signs a contract with trickster Rumplestiltskin to have one day where he can be a true ogre again. But Shrek discovers he’s in another trap of his 32 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

own making and needs to find Fiona to deliver love’s first kiss to him to save the world of Far, Far Away.

The voice talents also include Eddie Murphy as Donkey and Antonio Banderas as a Puss in Boots.

Shrek’s world is governed by magic, which may concern some parents wondering if the movie is appropriate for their children. Some of the fight scenes may be too intense for the smallest ones, but adults can appreciate the 80’s soundtrack and much of the more subtle humor.

Rated PG. Y Julie Whitehead of Brandon has been a mother since 1996 and a freelance writer since 2000. She was given a Mississippi Press Association award for her work in 2006.

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Palmer Home is committed to: Â&#x2021; 3ULYDWHO\ IXQGHG QRQ JRYHUQPHQWDO FKLOG FDUH Â&#x2021; .HHSLQJ VLEOLQJ JURXSV WRJHWKHU Â&#x2021; 0RGHOLQJ HYDQJHOLFDO &KULVWLDQ YDOXHV Â&#x2021; 0HQGLQJ HPRWLRQDO VFDUV Â&#x2021; 5HVWRULQJ VHOI HVWHHP Â&#x2021; 3URYLGLQJ HDFK FKLOG WKH IXOO RSSRUWXQLW\ WR UHDFK KLV RU KHU *RG JLYHQ SRWHQWLDO P. O. Box 746, Columbus, Mississippi 39703 662.328.5704 www.palmerhome.org

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Promise Kids of Christ Covenant School WELCOME

TO

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Come on in. Take your time looking around.

Talk to our appliance experts (no â&#x20AC;&#x153;sales peopleâ&#x20AC;? here!).

And find out how Persnickety Kitchens can help you be persnickety about your kitchen, no matter your price range.

Persnickety Kitchens. Welcome.

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Come see the difference a Christ-centered education can make!

752 Pear Orchard Road â&#x20AC;˘ Ridgeland, MS 39157

100 Depot Drive â&#x20AC;˘ Madison, MS 39110 â&#x20AC;˘ 601-605-COOK (2665) â&#x20AC;˘ persnicketykitchens.com

601-978-2272 www.ChristCovenantSchool.net A ministry of Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; JUNE 2010 33

➺money talks

by MICHAEL P. DENNY

$ $ $ $ $

$ $ $ $ $

Investing in your Child’s Educational Future

E

very father wants a bright future for his children. In today’s competitive world, providing a college education is probably one of the most loving gifts a father can give a child. What are some of the best ways to keep up with the inflation of this future expense?

One easy way is a “prepaid plan” known as “MPACT”. MPACT allows a plan owner to invest money now to lock-in the future cost of a child’s tuition. From the period 1990 through 2009, the average annual inflation rate of tuition for Mississippi’s public universities equaled 4.86%. So, as an investor in the prepaid plan, this would be the historical rate of return.

Of course, as a current investor in the plan, your return will be essentially “locking in” the future rate of tuition inflation. We obviously do not know what that will be, but recent headlines would indicate that it could be higher than 4.86%, which in today’s low interest rate environment is attractive for a fixed-income investment. Also, there is no income tax on the growth of the funds if used for its intended purpose, so the return would effectively be a tax-free growth rate.

The responsibility for investing your contributions to the MPACT plan is left in the hands of the State—the plan owner has no control over the investments. MPACT money is managed similarly to PERS retirement

funds for state employees in a well-diversified portfolio with proven money managers across the country.

There is no guarantee the performance will be sufficient to fulfill payment obligations; however, the obligations of the plan to cover future tuition costs are guaranteed by the “full faith and credit” of the State. The plan is audited every fiscal year and these audit reports are available to the public upon request.

The second of Mississippi’s 529 plans is known as “MACS”. MACS, on the other hand, allows an owner to have control over their investments by investing in up to three options provided by the plan provider, which is TIAA-CREF. The 100% Equity Option is the most aggressive option. The allocation can vary, but will typically have a high weighting in large companies, a modest weighting in foreign companies, and a small weighting in real estate and smaller companies. The underlying investments consist of TIAA-CREF’s institutional mutual funds, which are mainly low-cost index funds.

The 100% Equity Option will likely be more volatile, but is positioned to provide a higher long-term return on your money. This investment would be more suitable for very young children with a long-term time horizon.

The second fund option in MACS is the Managed Allocation Option.

This fund option allocates investment funds in one of six pre-determined asset allocations based on the child’s age. As the child gets older, the more conservative the allocation becomes.

For example, from age newborn to three years old, the asset allocation equals 20% bonds and 80% stocks, whereas at age eighteen, the funds are allocated 80% cash and bonds and 20% stocks. The theory behind this allocation is that money should not be subject to a great risk of loss at the time it is most needed.

This Managed Allocation Option is ideal for those parents or account owners who prefer an investment on “auto pilot”, meaning they do not have to actively rebalance the funds over time. Management is handled within the fund and adjusts automatically based on the child’s age. The preset asset allocation becomes increasingly conservative. For example, once the child reaches the eight to eleven age bracket the funds are allocated 45% to bonds.

The third investment option is called the Guaranteed Option. This option seeks to provide capital preservation and a stable return. The Guaranteed Option provides for a minimum guaranteed rate of interest of 3%, which in today’s low interest rate environment is very attractive.

Hence, this option has been very popular over the last few years.

The next time you contemplate the future of your children or grandchildren, consider giving the gift of education that will last a lifetime. Y Michael P. Denny, CPA, CFP®, is a partner with GranthamPoole CPAs, a licensed accounting firm located at 1062 Highland Colony Parkway, Ridgeland, MS. Michael is the father of two boys, Miles, age 7, and Payton, age 5. For more information on saving for your children’s education, call (601) 499-2400 or email Michael at mdenny@granthampoole.com.

34 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

the doctor is in

by DR. WILLIAM ASHFORD

The New Generation of

CATARACTS M

ost people think of cataracts as a problem seen primarily in the elderly. However, trauma, chemotherapy drugs, steroids, intraocular inflammation, eye surgeries, diabetes, and other diseases are leading to increasing incidences of cataracts in younger patients. Demographic studies suggest the number of cataract operations will double in the United States in the next ten years as the baby boomers approach cataract age.

Most cataract patients experience a gradual dimming and â&#x20AC;&#x153;fogginessâ&#x20AC;? in their vision as the first symptoms. Many think a simple change of glasses will correct the problem and are quite surprised their problem is really a cataract.

We are born with a clear crystalline lens just behind the pupil of the eye. This lens changes its shape allowing clear distance and near vision early in life. In the 40s, the lens becomes stiffer causing the patient to need bifocals. As we age, the proteins in the eyeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lens gradually cause the lens to become cloudy and a brownish yellow color causing a de-saturation of colors and poor vision in glare and dim light. Many patients first complain of problems driving at night or looking into the sun. These are the first signs of a cataract. Patients tend to complain of constantly looking for the right kind of light so they can see detail.

Eventually, the lens becomes so cloudy that the decreased visual acuity, especially in glare and dim light interfere with the patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s daily activities making him/her a candidate for cataract surgery. At surgery the patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s original lens is removed and replaced with a clear intraocular lens.

Fortunately there have been significant technological advances in the past two to three decades, making most cataract cases painless and causing minimal disruption of the patientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scheduleâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;many return to work the day after surgery. The procedure is performed in an outpatient setting. Topical drops are used for anesthesia supplemented by IV sedation. It is no longer necessary to stick a needle in the eye to numb it.

Thanks to microsurgical technology the operation is performed through a three millimeter (three pencil dots) in length incision. The incision seals itself before the patient leaves the table. A stitch is seldom required to adequately close the wound.

A few years ago patients had to be very careful not to bend over or pick up heavy objects immediately after surgery. Not today! Post-op patients are usually released to full daily activities a day after surgery.

Most patients are sleepy and have a dilated pupil for the rest of the day after their surgery is completed. It is best to go home and take a good nap after surgery to let the anesthesia wear off. A patch is generally not used after surgery so the patient has useful vision very quickly.

Antibiotic drops are used in the first week or so after surgery to decrease the chances of infection. A steroid eye drop reduces the inflammation associated with surgery, and a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drop is used to reduce the chance of macula edema or swelling of the macula after surgery.

New, exciting technologies have become available in this field in just the past couple of years. For our patients with astigmatism, custom made astigmatic intraocular lenses may be used to correct the astigma-

tism so the patient enjoys much better vision at distance without glasses after surgery. Also, multifocal intraocular lenses are now available that enable the patient to see both far away and reading distance. These premium lenses are not for everyone. Each patient must be individually evaluated for these special lenses. In some studies 92% of patients who chose a multifocal intraocular lens are able to see without ever using glasses at all.

I remember when I first came back to Jackson in 1980. We admitted our cataract patients to the hospital. They had surgery the next day in the hospital operating room and remained hospitalized for about four or five days post operatively. It is very exciting to have witnessed the changes that make this a quick, painless, outpatient procedure that usually produces a very happy patient! Y Dr. William Ashford, a board certified ophthalmic surgeon, has practiced in Jackson since 1980. He has performed over 50,000 cataract operations. He is a founding partner of the Eye Group of Mississippi where he is associated with Dr. Jay Brown and Dr. Elizabeth Wyatt Mitchell, board certified ophthalmic surgeons.

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ZZZ H\HJURXSPV FRP metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; JUNE 2010 35

➺healthy living

by CHRISTI B. STECKEL

Battle of the BULGE Your guide to summer road-trip eating.

Smart Choices When Eating Out ORDER THIS

INSTEAD OF THIS

McDonald’s Egg McMuffin, 300 calories; 12 g fat

Starbucks Classic Sausage, Egg and Aged Cheddar Breakfast Sandwich, 500 calories; 29 g fat

Krispy Kreme Whole Wheat Glazed Doughnut, 180 calories; 11 g fat

Krispy Kreme Glazed Blueberry Cake Doughnut, 330 calories; 17 g fat

Starbucks Grande Nonfat Caffe Latte with a shot of Caramel Syrup, 150 calories; 0 g fat

Starbucks Grande 2% Caramel Macchiato, 240 calories; 7 g fat

2 slices Domino’s large cheese pizza, 360 calories; 19 g fat

2 slices Pizza Hut’s large cheese pizza, 560 calories; 24 g fat

the back and they’re hungry. Pull over for stop number five at the closes fast food joint. You stare at the menu and think, “I’m on vacation, and I’ll order what I want.” Then your better conscious reminds you, “You are about to be on the beach in a bathing suit.” Well, then what is the best healthiest choice? Here is a guide to help you win that battle of the bulge this summer.

Subway 6-inch Turkey sub with provolone, 330 calories; 8.5 g fat

Subway 6-inch Tuna sub, 530 calories; 31 g fat

2 Taco Bell Grilled Steak Soft Tacos Fresco Style, 320 calories

Taco Bell Zesty Chicken Border Bowl with dressing, 640 calories

Chili’s Chicken Fajita Pita, 450 calories; 17 g fat

Chili’s Smoked Turkey Sandwich, 930 calories; 57 g fat

Weigh the facts

Olive Garden’s Linguine alla Marinara (dinner), 430 calories; 6 g fat

Olive Garden’s Spaghetti and Meatballs (dinner), 1,110 calories; 50 g fat

Romano’s Macaroni Grill Pollo Magro, 330 calories; 5 g fat

Romano’s Macaroni Grill Chicken Portobello, 1,020 calories; 66 g fat

Sonic’s Banana Split, 420 calories; 9 g fat

Baskin-Robbins’ Banana Split, 1,030 calories; 39 g fat

Wendy’s Small Original Chocolate Frosty, 330 calories; 42 g sugar

McDonald’s 12 oz. Triple Thick Chocolate Shake, 440 calories; 63 g sugar

It’s six hours to Destin. The car is packed full. The kids are in

✔ One slice of Sbarro Stuffed Pepperoni Pizza has 890 calories, equal to eating three Snickers bars. ✔ Arby’s Roast Turkey Ranch and Bacon Sandwich has 818 calories, equal to eating 23 Thin Mints (one sleeve). Order the Sourdough Roast Beef Melt instead for 355 calories. ✔ Macaroni Grill’s Seared Sea Scallops Salad packs 1,320 calories, equal to 29 Chicken McNuggets.

PLAN AHEAD. Most restaurants supply their nutrition facts on their web site and sites like www.dietfacts.com also provide reliable nutritional information. Most people are surprised by the numbers they see on their favorite meal, but simple changes and just being aware of the numbers can save calories.

St. Richard Catholic School a unique learning environment centered in the teachings of Jesus Christ

Learning through Faith

AVERAGE CALORIES BURNED DURING ONE HOUR OF ACTIVITY FOR A 155 POUND PERSON ✔ Cleaning the house—246 calories ✔ Golf—281 calories ✔ Gardening—352 calories ✔ Jogging—493 calories ✔ Mowing the lawn—387 calories ✔ Tennis—493 calories ✔ Swimming laps—563 calories

100 Holly Drive, Jackson www.strichardschool.org

601-366-1157 36 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

For more information on how many calories you are burning, visit http://www.nutristrategy.com/activitylist4.htm. Y

events calendar June 10 Enjoy music by Swing de Paris and Jason Marsalis’ Vibes Quartet at the 2010 Highland Village Concert Series. The entertainment begins at 6:30 p.m. Free to the public so bring your blankets and chairs and have fun at this outdoor event!

June 10 Jackson Reclaimed, a support group that aids in local Christian ministries, is hosting their annual art show at The Cedars to benefit the John M. Perkins Foundation for Reconciliation and Development. The funds raised will go to furnish the Children’s Building with computers and art supplies for the children who meet there every day after school. From 5:00 – 9:00 p.m. enjoy fellowship, fun, and support a great cause.

Tickets are $20. For more information visit www.jacksonreclaimed.com June 12 The John and Vera Mae Perkins Foundation (JVMPF) is celebrating 50 years in ministry.

Join in celebrating and supporting their fifty years in ministry and John’s 80th birthday.

The celebration will be June 10-12, 2010 and will consist of dinner, art show benefiting JVMPF, a tour of the JVMPF grounds, the viewing of the new released Legacy Documentary and a great time of fellowship and reminiscing as well as a time to discuss our vision for the future of the ministry.

Learn more at www.jvmpf50.org or call (601) 354-1563.

June 11- June 13 Jubilee! Jam, Jackson’s annual music and arts festival will be in downtown Jackson featuring some of the best of local, regional and national artist. Activities for both the young and old will make this a memorable, fun filled event. For ticket information call (601) 969-9692 June 12 From June 12 –June 27 our own Jackson, Mississippi will host the 2010 USA International Ballet Competition. Since 1979 dancers from all around the world have

come to Jackson to participate in this once every four year event. The event takes place at our beautiful Thalia Mara Hall. For ticket information please call (601) 355-9853 June 20 The Jackson Zoo will host a Father’s Day Car and Bike Show for anyone who has an interest in enjoying two or four wheel modes of transportation! Call (601) 352-2580 for more information.

out with the love of Jesus Christ to over 500 area teens and children by providing this fun and inspiring Christ-centered day camp experience. LFR is looking for Christian high school and college age young people from around the state to join in ministering to these children during the week of July 11-17th, 2010. If interested please contact Rich Malone at 662-7265052. Y

CLINTON June 12 Summer has arrived and there is no better way to celebrate than at the Olde Town Market every other Saturday from 9:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.

Local vendors will converge on Jefferson Street in Olde Towne Clinton selling their goods and promoting a gathering place for the residents and visitors of Clinton. Contact Tara Lytal at (601)924-5472 for any questions and information.

FLOWOOD June 5 Flowood Family Festival, a free family event, will be at Liberty Park next to the Flowood YMCA from 4:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. Enjoy games, entertainment, and great food for the entire family. This year’s headliner will be country music star Neal McCoy.

CAMPS Camp Macon at Lake Forest Ranch Mission Camp Macon is an interdenominational, multiracial, evangelical mission week that has been an annual event in Macon, MS since 2004. MCM is a week-long day camp held at Lake Forest Ranch and at local churches and community centers that provides a free sports camp for teens and day camps for children from all over Noxubee County in east central Mississippi. LFR in conjunction with 15 local churches reaches

Clergy End of Life Education Program Odyssey HealthCare has developed a community outreach program providing support and guidance to families facing end of life with a loved one. This is not simply an information clinic. And the unique thing about this service is it comes to your location.

The one day free workshop—available on request—is designed for clergy and laypeople and literally anyone who desires a greater understanding, sensitivity and ability to provide assistance to families facing end of life issues.

Odyssey’s highly trained staff of professionals and hospice Chaplains are the facilitators. Odyssey also provide all materials, conference curriculum, resource packer, audio series and more.

A light breakfast and lunch are included, also at no charge.

Topics discussed include cultural considerations, the medical and psychological perspectives of the dying process, talking to children about grief and loss, end of life options like DNR and a living will.

The training blends presentation of current and accurate end of life information, with exercises that engage participants in sharing aspects of their own personal and pastoral experience. For more information contact Shaun Furniss, Bereavement Coordinator at 601 939 9288. Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2010 37

JUNE

JACKSON

➺quips & quotes

ADVERTISING INDEX

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him”

“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package”

“The happiest and holiest children in the world are the children whose fathers succeed in winning both their tender affection and their reverential and loving fear. And they are the children who will come to understand most easily the mystery of the fatherhood of God.”

– Author unknown

– John Piper

– Psalm 103:13

"At the heart of the story stands the cross of Christ where evil did its worst and met its match."

– John W. Wenham

“Whatever you are be a good one” - Abraham Lincoln

“Rise and shine”

“I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God”.

– Bill Savelle

Then I said to you, "Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

– Abraham Lincoln

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”

– George Herbert

– Deuteronomy 1:29-31 “If you fail, father, to teach your son to fear God, the devil will teach him to hate God. If you fail to teach your son to guard his mind, the devil will gladly teach him to have an open mind.

If you fail to teach your son to obey his parents, the devil will teach him to rebel and break his parent’s heart. If you fail to teach your son to select his companions, the devil will gladly choose them for him. If you fail to teach your son to control his body, the devil will teach him to give it over completely to lust. If you fail to teach your son to enjoy the marriage partner that God has given him, the devil will teach him to destroy the marriage. If you fail to teach your son to watch his words, the devil will fill his mouth with filth. If you fail to teach your son to pursue his work, the devil will make his laziness a tool of hell. If you fail to teach your son to manage his money, the devil will teach him to waste it on riotous living. And if you fail to teach your son to love his neighbor, the devil will gladly teach him to love only himself.’

– John MacArthur

Interested in reaching NORTH STATE ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206

601-982-8261 Dr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jeb Cade Dr. Melissa McLendon OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Boarding & Grooming Services Available

38 JUNE 2010 ❘ Metro Christian Living

50,000+ people?

Contact MCL about advertising!

601-790-9076

ADVERTISER PAGE Apple Annie’s...................................................13 Baptist Health Systems ......................................3 Belhaven College.............................................29 Belhaven Graduate & Online ..........................27 Carr, Riggs, & Ingram.......................................11 Christ Covenant School ...................................33 City of Clinton ....................................................5 Community Bank..............................................11 CPS Pools ...........................................................9 East Lakeland Ob-Gyn .......................................7 Environment Masters .......................................12 Eye Group of MS .............................................37 FPDS.................................................................16 Fresh-way Produce...........................................11 Gameroom Gallery...........................................13 Grantham Poole...............................................34 Highland Village ...............................................14 Imagine.............................................................19 Jackson Academy ..............................................2 Jackson Prep ......................................................8 John Aubrey Anderson......................................7 Kinkade’s ..........................................................17 Lake Forest Ranch..............................................8 M&F Bank.........................................................16 Main Street Greenwood ..................................19 Medtronic.........................................................39 North State Animal Hospital ...........................38 O! How Cute Gift Market ..................................8 Odyssey............................................................26 The Orchard .....................................................16 Palmer Home ...................................................33 Pennsylvania Life ..............................................33 Persnickety .......................................................33 Silverfox............................................................11 Sitters................................................................31 Smiles ...............................................................23 Smoothie King..................................................14 Southern Farm Bureau.....................................16 Star 93.5 ...........................................................12 St. Catherines...................................................40 St. Dominics........................................................5 St. Richard Catholic School .............................36 Sunnybrook.........................................................2 Teresa Polk .......................................................23 The Blake..........................................................25 Tinnin Imports ..................................................18 Trustmark ............................................................8 Venerable Glass................................................31 William B. Howell .............................................24 Willoughby Law................................................10 Wright & Ferguson.............................................9 For more information on our advertisers visit www.metrochristianliving.com

PRISCILLA’S STORY Osteoporosis is a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture. Of the 10 million Americans with this disease, 80% are women, and having a mother with osteoporosis puts a daughter particularly at risk.

Priscilla Turner, 67, of Memphis, TN knows this risk all too well. Her 90-year-old mother, Jewell Fondren, suffers from osteoporosis (a disease that causes bone to become weak and susceptible to fracture). Over the past 30 years, Jewell has experienced a hip fracture, spinal fractures, and has a hunched back that may have been caused by multiple spinal fractures. Jewell, who lives with her daughter, has difficulty walking, cannot bend, and finds her clothes don’t fit well because of her hunched back.

Two years ago, Priscilla seemed to be heading toward the same fate as her mother when she suffered from back pain. Priscilla went to see her doctor and discovered she had a spinal fracture. She was also diagnosed with osteopenia or low bone mineral density that can lead to osteoporosis.

“I just thought I was getting older,” she said. “I didn’t know my bones were breaking, but when my doctor told me I had a spinal fracture, I was very surprised.”

Like Priscilla, the estimated 44 million Americans at risk for osteoporosis are often unaware that they have the disease until they break a bone, according to the National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF), sponsors of National Osteoporosis Awareness and Prevention Month. However, today more information is known about the risk factors for osteoporosis and fractures.

If you have a low bone mineral density coupled with one or more other risk factors, you are at increased risk of having an osteoporosis-related fracture over the next 10 years, according to a recent publication by the World Health Organization (WHO). These risk factors include a previous fracture, a parent who has had a hip fracture, smoking, taking steroid medications, drinking three or more glasses of alcohol daily, and suffering from rheumatoid arthritis or from a disorder strongly associated with osteoporosis.

Less was known about osteoporosis years ago when Priscilla’s mother was prescribed pain pills and bed rest to manage her osteoporosis-related spinal fractures. Treatments are now available to help strengthen bones, and new procedures have been developed to repair spinal fractures.

When Priscilla experienced her spinal fracture, her primary care physician referred her to orthopaedic surgeon Dr. Edward Pratt* of the Memphis Spine Center, who treated her spinal fracture with balloon kyphoplasty.

Balloon kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive procedure that can reduce back pain and correct the deformity caused by a spinal fracture. Small balloons are inserted and inflated in the fractured area of the spine to restore it back to its normal shape. After the balloons are deflated and removed, the cavity that has been created is filled with special bone cement, creating an internal cast.

Priscilla is exceedingly close to her mother. They spend afternoons on their parlor couch, reminiscing about their years together or sitting quietly as Priscilla reads and her mother knits. However, she knows that she does not want to suffer the same fate as her mother.

“Osteoporosis has kept Mama from being as mobile as I knew her years ago,” Priscilla said. “Her movements are restricted. She cannot bend nor do many activities around the house. Her walking is limited.”

When Priscilla experienced her second spinal fracture in 2007 and her activities became restricted due to the back pain, she decided to take action to avoid her mother’s fate. She again had her fracture repaired with balloon kyphoplasty and now exercises regularly and takes prescription drugs and calcium supplements to prevent more bone loss.

“Today I do everything,” she said. “We have a two-story home, and I am always going up and down the steps, and I couldn’t do that before the (balloon kyphoplasty) procedures because of my back pain. I am also gardening again.

I walk two miles a day and work out on weight machines. I am a very active person. I don’t sit.”

The National Osteoporosis Foundation estimates that one in two women and one in four men over age 50 will experience an osteoporosis-related fracture in their lifetime. Dr. Pratt believes that efforts like National Osteoporosis Prevention and Awareness Month are helping to raise much needed awareness of the risks and treatments for osteoporosis and related fractures. “The world is beginning to gradually wake up and see that osteoporosis is a problem and that the best way to treat it is to stay ahead of it,” says Dr. Pratt. To learn more about osteoporosis, visit the National Osteoporosis Foundation at www. nof.org. For more information about spinal fractures, take the risk assessment, go to www.spinalfracture.com. *Paid consultant of Medtronic Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you.

For more information please call Medtronic at 1-888-645-4444 and/or visit www.kyphon.com.

If you’re over 50 or have osteoporosis, it’s important that you don’t ignore your back pain. It may signal a spinal fracture. See your doctor right away if you think you may have one.

TAKE CHARGE Don’t turn your back on back pain.

Spinal fractures can be repaired if diagnosed.

KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty is a minimally invasive treatment for spinal fractures that can correct vertebral body deformity, reduce pain and improve patient quality of life.

before

balloon kyphoplasty

after

For more information on balloon kyphoplasty or to find a local physician performing the procedure, call 800-652-2221 or visit www.kyphon.com Although the complication rate with KYPHON® Balloon Kyphoplasty has been demonstrated to be low, as with most surgical procedures, there are risks associated with the procedure, including serious complications. This procedure is not for everyone. A prescription is required. Please consult your physician for a full discussion of risks and whether this procedure is right for you. © 2008 Medtronic Spine LLC. All Rights Reserved.

MEDTRONIC Spinal and Biologics Business 1221 Crossman Avenue Sunnyvale, CA 94089 USA Tel: (408) 548-6500 16003152_002 [01]

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