Metior Magazine - Renewal

Issue 3, 2018 FREE!

WOMEN MASTURBATE TOO > DAVID LEYONHJELM needs to sit down > YOU HAVE TO fucking eat

HOW TO

work in a male dominated industry

Renewal The Women’s Issue IMAGE BY IMOGEN KAAL

CONTENTS / Women’s Rep Address / 4 Puzzle Page / 7 PSA: Women Masturbate Too / 8 David Leyonhjelm Needs to Sit Down / 12 You Have to Fucking Eat / 14 How to Work in a Male Dominated Industry / 19 Motivation / 21 Mental Wellness / 25 The State of Student Advocacy / 30 Why Isn’t it Called the Australian National Union of Students? / 33

Searching for Something / 37 12am Experience / 40 Keana Naughton Photography / 41 Events Calendar / 43 Metiorly Horoscope / 45 Women on Boards / 50

Tales at the Tav

Europe Photos Cause Female Depression / 47 Judgemental Hush at Tav / 49

Murdoch Empire Telegraph & Indian Ocean Review - Since 1975 AUGUST 2018: Renewal/Women METIOR is Murdoch University’s resident student magazine. METIOR has been a voice for the students on campus for 43 years, publishing student driven content from news, and commentary to comedy and short fiction. METIOR is funded by the Murdoch University Guild of Students, but retains editorial independence. The views expressed within do not reflect the views of the Guild, Murdoch University, or the METIOR editorial team, but are solely the views of the individual authors.

METIOR acknowledges that this is and always will be Aboriginal land.

EDITOR: Sarah Smit SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER: Aaron Angel SUBEDITORS: Brittany Asplin, Hannah Cross, Michael Wood, Sean Ayres, Thomas Wendt, Zenna Sparkes-Santos CONTRIBUTORS: Adelaide Cromwell-Keenan, Alesha Murfit, Deone Kirk, Yakira Venigiam, Mary Jefcoate, Isla McLeod, Christie Tanjaya, Solomon Anthony, Corrina Mcbeath, Kai Donaldson, Lauren Pratt, Rochelle Van Den Bos, Cheyanne Enciso, Keana Naughton and Kyle Williams

“A woman means by Unselfishness chiefly taking trouble for others; a man means not giving trouble to others...thus, while the woman thinks of doing good offices and the man of respecting other people’s rights, each sex, without any obvious unreason, can and does regard the other as radically selfish.”

C.S. Lewis

Letter Editor from

the

I’ve recently started seeing a therapist. He has a white beard and kind eyes, and tells me that I care too much about other people’s needs and expectations. He’s probably right; I can recall multiple occasions when I’ve driven hours to avoid slightly inconveniencing someone. Most of all, I won’t ask for what I want unless I really have no other choice. Now I don’t want to pull the gender card. Just kidding, I’m a foaming at the mouth feminist and this is the women’s issue I’m definitely going to pull the gender card. I’m an extreme example, but assertiveness is something lots of women I know struggle with. Surrounded from a young age by messages that tell us that women are helpers and supporters, we begin to minimise our needs in preference to the needs of others. Empathy and concern for the needs of others isn’t a bad thing, mind. But when you’re empathetic, helpful nature is combined with a society that tells you there’s nothing worse than a loud, demanding, needy woman, it can be really difficult to be assertive. But you’re not needy, your a human with needs and opinions and it’s okay to speak up about that. Sexism isn’t just big, flashy assholes being assholes. It’s also people who mean well acting out unconscious social coding.

Unconscious bias doesn’t make you a bad person, and we can debate whether that’s our fault but regardless, it’s our responsibility.

SARAH SMIT 2

FROM OUR WOMEN’S REP | YAKIRA VENAGIAM

Author’s Note: To get yourself in the zone for this particular article, pop over to your music streaming platform of choice and listen to the ‘Flawless’ remix with Nicki Minaj and Beyonce. Trust me on this.

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Taking over the role as Women’s Rep has been no walk in the park.

Some of the challenges it’s brought have tested my patience and some have tested my ability to bring to life the ideas I have for the collective. When you start a role like this, you dream big. Growing up in South Africa as a woman of colour, intersectional feminism and women’s safety has been at the heart of my motivations for aspiring to the role of Women’s rep. But when the rubber hits the road, it can be a challenge to navigate hierarchies and bureaucracy.

Sometimes those things create roadblocks that make you adapt your visions, or even drop them.

I spent the first semester running around uni meeting academic chairs and vice chancellors, attending three and four hour meetings working to re-establish the voice of the Women’s Collective. It can be a frustrating and discouraging role at times and it often feels like there has been no material evidence of my hard work, but I have been working towards addressing issues such as sexual assault and sexual harassment policies as well as general safety on campus.

These things have their own timelines and procedures to make as much change as absolutely possible. We also ran our first event on women’s day this year. I have learned a few things from my experience over the first semester which have both shocked and challenged me, and I have been asked numerous times about my take on feminism.

Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes. ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Feminism is about gender equality, and understanding the impact of present systemic oppression and how it was formed by the deeply patriarchal history of humanity.

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/ FROM OUR WOMEN’S REP I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain that history to the meninists among us, but I do want to say that being a feminist does not mean that a person is anti-men or that men need to be stepped on in order for women to achieve what they have been denied.

As a woman and a young person, I have had some real lived experience with the impact of misogyny- both internalized and from those around me. To be perfectly clear, people are rarely intentionally misogynistic. These patterns of behaviour are unconscious and deeply ingrained by society, even in me. In my first meeting in my role, I was asked to introduce myself, and in a fit of self doubt I diminished my role to ‘just the women’s rep.’ I realised quickly there is no ‘just’ about what I do, but it took longer for others to realize that. At times it seems like, although my opinion is asked, my voice is not always valued, and I often hear similar complaints from other young women. I want to encourage those ladies; you may be reducing yourself with your own ‘just,’ but there’s no ‘just’ about you. Those self-deprecating behaviours need to be recognised and fought, but there’s nothing shameful about feeling that way. It’s what we do with those feelings, and the actions we take to become better that count. We can’t change the world overnight.

But with more tolerance and recognition of our own behaviours, we can begin to lift the voices of the voiceless and start a conversation worth having...

If you have any queries or anything you want to talk about, hit me up at women@murdochguildstudents.com.au.

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METIOR Mental Exertions THOMAS WENDT

Why get a brain training app when you can just pick up METIOR? Answer: Because a brain training app might actually help your brain, and these puzzles will only distract you from your life for maybe ten minutes. But, if you complete all the puzzles, you’ll go in the running for absolutely nothing! Seriously. Not even self-respect or a sense of pride and accomplishment. This is merely a time waster that your mum won’t have a go at you for. ENJOY!

WORD LIST FREE YOUR THINK PSYCHOLOGY WALTER BUSINESS EDUCATION DEGREE QUENDA KADJININY TAV STUDENT HUB MURDOCH ARTS SCIENCE LAW HEALTH RIDDLE What word has KST in the middle, and at the end, and in in the beginning?

PUZZLE What comes next?

ALESHA MURFIT IMAGES BY SOLOMON ANTHONY

PSA: Girls Ca n Masturb ate Too

Masturbation. For women, this is often a scary, forbidden, treacherous word, but for guys, it’s just a part of the early morning, day, night, lunch-time-break routine.

Why? Why is there such a shame in reference to women… flicking the bean, checking out the vertical sea-food taco, giving the old girl a run for her money? You know... getting to know themselves a little better?

My answer? Who the fuck knows.

So, to kick this often unnecessarily awkward conversation off, let’s start with me. Hi, I’m Alesha, I’m 19 years old and I’m still a virgin.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t orgasmed, just a few times (cough cough).

My first experience with masturbation was in Year 8 in High School.

Coming out of primary school as a “bright, bubbly student,” I was keen for some new experiences. Though, probably not of the kind that are about to follow. I was with a group of friends who just so happened to be of the male gender, and in a typically lewd, pre-pubescent boy way, they tactfully asked if I had ever masturbated before. Now, up until then, I can recall approximately zero thoughts on the subject. As in none. In fact, I’m pretty sure at that point the only swear word I was allowed to say was shit, and only in extreme outlier cases. There was a hasty and resounding “NO!” from me, already sensing that I was supposed to be ashamed of myself from just the mention of it.

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FEATURE /

But afterwards, one thought was running around my tiny little unknowing-of-what-I-was-aboutto-awaken-in-myself head: Why the fuck not?

And so, like an empress roaring into battle, I went home that night and you better believe your sorry, broke, student ass that your girl felt herself up. And the next night, and the next night, and the night after that. Yes, there were some feelings of shame, and of being dirty and disgusting, but why? It was my body and it felt good. And you know what, asked a young, newly “matured” Leesh, how come the boys get to talk about it all the time and we don’t?

And so, I aged, with grace and style of course, and my friends and I began to talk about stuff “like this.” I learned that some of my friends had never even thought about touching themselves. Like, ever. Their reasoning, as with many girls and myself at first, was simply that it was gross. That really isn’t anyone’s fault except that of our goddamn society. We, as the demure, sweet little women that we all surely are, have been told for so long that we shouldn’t engage in, think or even talk about such… sinful things. But to anyone in this frame of mind, just hear me out for a second while I rant passive-aggressively AT you through my computer. Trust me, I’m doing this for you honey, you can thank me after.

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How could getting to know your own body, the body that your mind and soul and whatever else you believe in are stuck within for the rest of your life, be gross?

And more importantly, how can you expect a stupid boy (or girl - you do you, boo) to know what makes you feel good if you don’t even know yourself ?

I’m not going to say it’ll give you a sexual and spiritual awakening, make you feel at one with God, and open up your third eye so you’ll be able to see dead people, etc. But what I will say, and this is actually the important part girls, is that it will make you feel really, really good, all by yourself, with no need for or help from anyone else. And hey, its 2018 babe, don’t let old mate society tell you what to do.

So, all of you females out there reading this, consider this to be an important Public Service Announcement. To those who are veterans, newbies or truly masturbation virgins, go home tonight and just try.

Test things out, see what feels good, get to know your amazing body a little bit better than you once did. Let yourself feel good, and please don’t find any shame in that. Tickle your clit, slip a little something in, watch some porn or just get a feel of what you’re about. Because, you know what? Why the fuck not?

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Make great things happen Build real world experience Attend a leadership camp Gain a professional mentor Lead in your community

/ POLITICS & SOCIETY

David Leyonhjelm needs to SIT DOWN HANNAH CROSS

Surprise! Another old, white male has said something offensive to a woman in the workplace. How professional.

In a post-truth, fake news, #metoo world – you’d think male politicians would have at least tried to stop slut-shaming and belittling women in the workplace.

Enter Liberal Democrat senator David Leyonhjelm and Australian Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young.

After allegedly telling Hanson-Young to “stop shagging men” during a debate about violence and women’s safety, Leyonhjelm continued to comment on Hanson-Young in the media, labelling her a “misandrist” and saying she was “well-known for liking men”.

While parliamentary privilege allows politicians to scream defamatory comments at each other all day like children throwing sand at each other in the playground, taking such comments outside of this arena and spreading it throughout the media is unprofessional and just plain rude.

Many people within the Senate as well as Malcolm Turnbull have allegedly asked Leyonhjelm to apologise, however he continues to refuse like Ross refuses to admit he fucked over Rachel.

Mate, if even the Prime Minister of the damn country is calling you out on your bullshit, it’s time to stand up and apologise or sit the hell down.

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Not that it’s Leyonhjelm’s or anyone else’s business, but in 2018 women have more of an opportunity than ever to be sexually autonomous and make whatever choices they please. For Leyonhjelm to think he has the authority to suggest to Hanson-Young what she should and shouldn’t do employs the sort of draconian thinking that has ruled over women and their bodies for centuries.

This is a classic example of men continuing to make inappropriate comments to and about women that are outright offensive and thinking it’s okay. PSA: it is not and never will be.

The idea that this is “political correctness gone too far” is utter nonsense. Comments like these have never been innocuous for women.

It’s just that women, and others for that matter, are finally attaining the power to talk back to these men – and you can bet we’ve got the ovaries to use it.

So if you feel the need to censor what you believe and say about women when you’re around them, have a think about where those thoughts may be coming from and whether they’re warranted (hint: they’re probably not).

While this issue can easily be framed as another Aussie politician media circus, let’s not forget that the way we speak about each other has an impact whether we like it or not. Making mistakes is okay, it happens. However, refusing to apologise in a publicly juvenile way frankly just makes you look like a bit of a wanker.

Now that Hanson-Young has decided to sue for defamation, I say give ’em hell.

As for David Leyonhjelm: just sit down, sir.

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YOU NEED TO FUCKING EAT ISLA MCLEOD IMAGE BY CHRISTIE TANJAYA

“You have to fucking eat” was the sentiment of everyone close to me in 2013. Everyone but myself, that is. I didn’t have to eat; I was special, different to everyone else; able to subsist on a mere fraction of what a typical teenage girl needed. Except I couldn’t, and I didn’t see it.

FEATURE / I see my battle with anorexia nervosa as a twisted love story: a cataclysmic epic which left both parties fighting for control in an obsessive cycle of power. I’ve heard other people describe it differently - everyone has a different experience with mental illness. But for me, anorexia was a lover. It’s hardly a classic romance, it ended with a near-death experience and an extreme weight gain diet, but it started as many great romances do. It started with a boy. After a rejection from someone with whom I thought I could’ve had a real relationship, the niggling insecurities which come standard with our society overtook me and I began a torrid affair with my eating disorder.

In the beginning it wasn’t so bad. I guess, in the beginning, abusive relationships are never so bad. At first, I didn’t have to hide the fact that I was cautious about all caloric intake- my discipline was something to be admired rather than admonished. I could hide my rapid weight loss under baggy clothes and I could keep up a façade of happiness most of the time.

It was my sister who noticed first, almost five months after the first failed attempt to purge. She correlated my depressive episodes with high-calorie food, but it was still difficult for anyone to believe that someone who seemed so down to earth could have such massive delusions.

In the end I was counting the calories in a stick of gum, weighing that against how the flavour helped to mute the hunger pangs for a while.

By the time anyone started to realise that my health kick was turning into real self-abuse I’d lost ten kilos. Action wouldn’t be taken until I lost another five.

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It was five more before there was an intervention to force me into the beginning stages of recovery. By this time my once athletic figure had turned skeletal. I’d lost all body fat and just staying warm at the start of a mild winter required many layers of clothing. Five foot seven and forty-eight kilos doesn’t look good on anybody and my striving to look more attractive had seriously backfired. I was pulled out of school and put on an extreme weight gain diet which could put hobbit meal times to shame. If I was struggling to gain weight I could be having up to seven meals a day. I fought it every step of the way.

Battling any disease is hard, but for those who cared about me, the struggle was in fighting my disease without making me a casualty of the war. The only way to get me better was to convince me that everything I believed in was wrong. This made recovery a war of wills. Every day was a gamble as to how lucid I would be, whether I would listen to reason or succumb to the power my twisted lover held over me. My good days were spent watching a lot of Star Trek Next Generation. My bad days were spent screaming profanities at my mother.

When I decided that living with a BMI over eighteen was still a life worth living, things got easier.

They weren’t easy for a long time, but they were easier. Although physically putting on the weight was something which could be done formulaically, the mental side of it was not so readily changed and stuck with me for a long time, even years. There were people out there who wanted to help, but with mental health issues only recently coming to the forefront of societal consciousness, it was difficult at first to find help. Doctors were convinced that it was 16

just a phase, and my struggles were just a side effect of chasing some empty bliss lifestyle. It was thought that forcing me to gain weight would fix everything - could fix my head. In the end, it was a combination of weight gain and psychiatric help which got me back to normal (or close to it). It was vital that I was given the appropriate mental aid, as it is for anyone going through any mental illness. There are no cookie cutter solutions, and I found that people without a deep understanding of the bizarre nuances of an eating disorder only made it worse, even if they were trying to help. If you or anyone you know may be going through the mental anguish which plagued me five years ago I urge you to get them or yourself specialist help; there are people out there who understand you even if you feel isolated.

I’d like to say I’m better now, that this is something which you can get better from, but I don’t think it is. There are more good days than bad. I happily eat food now, but there’s still an overwhelming and sometimes unhealthy drive to be perfect. It’s a part of me that will never leave, some of the thought patterns are still there in force and come out during times of stress. Dieting is something I will never be able to do again. My psychologist told me that for all intents and purposes I’m allergic to it. Getting into that mindset will always be too dangerous for me.

My illness forced me to become the person I am today. Anyone who has met me in the past three years of study would be hard pressed to see the waifish girl with venom in every word in the person I’ve become since recovery. A transformation which controlled me became the catalyst of a transformation which I could control.

It may never get better, not fully, but it certainly gets less worse.

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Get in touch with Sarah (METIOR Editor) metior@murdochguildstudents.com.au or go to @MetiorMagazine on Facebook

How to Work IN A MALE DOMINATED INDUSTRY MARY JEFCOATE

I work in the trade section of a hardware store. Whenever I tell people where I work I’m often told how well the company looks after its employees. Every person who tells me this has one thing in common: they know a man who works for the same company as me.

Unfortunately what most don’t know is that for women, it’s not always as great. Being in a male dominated industry means I am one of three females who work in the trade section of the store, where over 20 men work in the same department.

This creates an environment for the birth of the ‘boys club’.

When a boys club is created inside any industry huge problems arise.

Inequality in job opportunities is imminent. Some problems can seem as harmless as a man’s suggestion is chosen over a woman’s 19

\ FEATURE suggestion, while the more serious problems are the lack of women in leadership.

This is a club where the lads drink beers, bitch about their partners, gossip about girls they have slept with, and make fun of women who work alongside them. Any women who try to climb the corporate ladder end up needing to infiltrate the boys club before being able to make it any further. There are two accepted ways to infiltrate this club, according to its members: the first is to be one of the lads, laugh at their sexist jokes and bitch along with them.

The second is to sleep with someone higher up in order to gain ‘protection’ from the club.

In my experience, often the guys will make comments about certain women in leadership and who they slept with to get to where they are. This sickening cycle is not one that can be stopped by women, but instead by the men who stand silent when they hear and see this happening.

Now the issue is not just that the woman’s suggestion is not getting picked over the man’s, it is that it isn’t even being heard over the voices of those who discredit her climb to the top.

Her climb has seen her stand on other women to get to where she is and now she has no support from both the boys club and her fellow ladies.

As women, instead of pulling each other down, we need to lift each other up.

Push each other to do better and support each other on our climb.

Unless we support each other as women we will be unable to achieve equality.

Not only do we need our fellow women to support each other, but more importantly we need the support of our male allies. Men, we need you to call your mates out when they’re being sexist. In an environment where sexual and derogatory comments are being made, women’s voices will often be ignored, and without men calling each other out, sexism will prevail.

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this SEmester Less Procrastination

More High Distinctions CHEYANNE ENCISO

\ FEATURE While I am very aware that education is a crucial part of my life, it’s safe to say that my enthusiasm for Semester Two is at the lower end of the Elle Woods’ spectrum.

Perhaps one of the best chick flicks released in the early 2000s, the very eager, stilettoed law school student could not be further from the reality of a back-to-school university student. However, it’s time we all muster some of her enthusiasm and get motivated for the semester ahead.

Easier said than done, I know. There are some students who are just naturally good at attending lectures, studying for several hours a day, and getting all of their assessments done and submitted ahead of time. On the other hand, there are students who struggle to even just motivate themselves and end up procrastinating for hours on end.

So where exactly does procrastination stem from? According to scientific studies, there are two parts of the brain that are in constant battle with each other when someone is faced with a task they don’t want to do: the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex.

When the limbic system wins, it results in procrastination and the words “I’ll do it later” or “I’ll do it tomorrow” coming out of your mouth.

The limbic system is one of the most dominant parts of the brain, and it is on automatic. It’s the part of the brain that tells us to pull our hand away from a hot surface or to avoid doing unpleasant tasks. According to Timothy A. Pychyl, a university professor and author, the limbic system directs you to opt for “immediate mood repair.” The prefrontal cortex, on the other hand, is the weaker portion of the brain. It’s the part of the brain that allows you to process information and make decisions. The prefrontal cortex gets the job done, but it is not an automatic function. You have to kick it into gear.

If you’re a student who struggles to overcome procrastination and lacks motivation, here is a question to think about: Do you want to let yourself down? Think about how far you’ve made it and all 22

the work you’ve already put in to get you to where you are now.

In my case, I’ve made it halfway through my courses and often think that I’ve put in too much effort already to quit or give up.

Remember that if you work hard now, it will pay off in the future and you will be rewarded, whether that’s with a university degree or with your dream job.

An easy way to stay motivated is to surround yourself with peers who are also motivated. Find friends who are academically motivated and friends who do well in their coursework. By doing this, you won’t be tempted to go out every night instead of studying. It also won’t hurt to create a task list. There is nothing better than ticking off a completed task and hopefully, seeing an unmarked box should motivate you to get that task completed.

Being motivated during the start of a new semester is not the hardest part. It’s maintaining that motivation in Week 7 when you have several assessments due that a lot of students find difficult.

To remain motivated, it is important to understand that education is a crucial foundation in someone’s life and like I said earlier, think how far you’ve come and how much work you’ve already put in. You’ve made it to mid-semester; another seven weeks won’t kill you.

Remember to also take breaks regularly. Often to keep motivated and enthusiastic about your studies, you need to dedicate time to do things not related to university work. Go to the movies, hang out with friends, or even go out. It is all about balance.

Be aware that taking a break is not just about having fun, but it also allows you to clear your head.

Bear in mind that there is always room for improvement and change. Take the new semester as an opportunity to change past habits so that you can have a more fulfilling university experience, both academically and socially.

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Prevention might be better than a cure, but it turns out we probably need both.

Mental Wellness

ROCHELLE VAN DEN BOS

I’m 23, and mental health struggles have been a highlight and/or lowlight of every single one of those years.

Having a mother with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and my own shopping list of mental health struggles, I know what positive and poor mental health practices look like. Don’t stress, this isn’t a sad account of my meagre existence. Not to toot my own horn1 , but I’ve learned a thing or two about mental health practices over that time that you should probably know.

For starters, what’s the difference between mental health and mental illness?

Mental Health

noun.

1. A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.

Mental Illness

noun.

1. A condition which causes serious disorder in a person’s behaviour or thinking.

Everyone has personal mental health. Not everyone has mental illness. If you have a brain then mental health is something you should be aware of. Here’s an analogy I stole from my housemate: Mental health and mental illness are like physical wellness and physical health. Wellness professionals tell us how to stay in shape through healthy practices like exercising, eating the right foods, and going outside2.

On the flip side, health professionals tend to come into the equation when something is not working to its full potential or is a straight up hindrance to us. Both wellness and health professionals are working towards a healthy body, but are starting at different points.

1. Totally will though. You can’t stop me, you’re not my editor.

2. That’s right, you heard me, uni student that has been in the library for three days straight and has forgotten what fresh air feels like: it is physically beneficial to stand outside in the sun.

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In the same way, a healthy mental state requires work to maintain, and a brain plagued with illness needs medical attention.

So what can we do to keep our healthy brains in shape or get them in shape?

DISCLOSURE: Although I occasionally dabble in smoothie photos on Instagram, I am neither a wellness professional nor a mental health professional. These are just some things that have helped me or people I know. Please seek real help if you are in crisis or not coping with your situation!

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Friends: Oh my goodness, do not isolate yourself. Please, please, please don’t! As hard as it can be trying to survive the crushing pressure of assignments and exams, it’s super important to find time for social events. You need to build strong friendships so that when shit does inevitably hit the fan, you have a good support network around you. Down time is good but people are also good!

2

Get a routine and stick to it: Show your stuff who’s boss!

There is no wrong way to do this; it’s just what works for you, only organised. But it’s super important to be realistic in your routine. DON’T book in a full three hour block of uninterrupted study if you know you can’t get through 30 minutes without needing a snack break.

3

Fail and try again!!! Good grief, give yourself a break. It’s okay for something not to work. Take your newly set routine for example. You’ve sat down and worked out your ideal day and all the stuff you have to fit into a day at what time but you didn’t account for how productive/unproductive you are at certain times of the day. All good. Scrap it! Try again tomorrow.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and other such platitudes.

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4

Journal: I know, I know. Your eyes could not be rolling harder right now, but hear me out. While it’s great to write down how you’re feeling or how your day has been, it’s not for everyone. What does work for me is bullet journaling; it combines routine and down time. I set it up however I please and write whatever I want, be it my feelings from the day or to-do lists that I take an excessive amount of joy in ticking off. Taking five to ten minutes in my day to doodle and write my to-do list sets me up for a pretty good day.

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Plan; do; ask for help. I stole this from Queer Eye on Netflix. I’m not sorry. It’s pretty self-explanatory so I won’t bore you with my input, particularly when I could never put it as well as Karamo.

Please keep in mind these tips are most useful for setting up and keeping your mental state healthy. If you’re already struggling, they can prove incredibly hard - so don’t kick your inner puppy!

Just keep swimminG! - DORY, Finding Nemo If you are struggling with mental illness or mental health here are some resources that you might find helpful or interesting: • www.themighty.com is an online community devoted to sharing about issues of disease, disability, and mental health.

They have tons of helpful articles, and their daily emails are the only ones I always open. 10/10 would recommend.

• Murdoch has a free counselling service for enrolled students.

If you’re struggling, you can see a qualified counsellor right here on campus. For more information go to: www.murdoch.edu.au/Counselling/ As always, if you’re in a crisis situation and need help now, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyondblue at 1300 22 4636.

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The State of Student Advocacy KAI DONALDSON

The Student Union movement has always been at the forefront of change in our society.

It is an important institution because it is often a bellwether for great societal change. It is often seen as a training ground for our leaders both political and social. Its alumni include such illustrious names as our current Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, former High Court Justice Michael Kirby and former deputy Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. With a history of such talented players it is easy to call the movement a simple training ground for future Canberra Fi-Fo workers, however, it is far more than that.

Like any union the purpose of an on-campus student organisation is to represent the interests of its members and to provide essential services the University does not. On campus we have a variety of amenities provided for us by the Guild including the 30

POLITICS & SOCIETY \

Tav and Café Kadjininy. They also regularly host events for the benefits of the students such as Oktoberfest and the Code Red festival. It is also the Guild that funds the wide range of clubs and societies we have on campus. Some have said it is one of the Guild’s responsibilities to bolster and maintain campus culture and I wholeheartedly agree.

On-campus advocacy is what most Guilds and Unions focus on and this is, in my opinion, the best way to run a student organisation. This being said, I do believe that these same student organisations should affiliate to the National Union of Students. I would equate the National Union of Students, or NUS for short, with the ACTU in the sense that it is the peak body for student unions in much the same way as the ACTU is the peak body for Trade Unions in Australia. This is the NUS’s function plain and simple; to provide a national sense of direction and to step in to help individual unions when they need it. It is not in place to take the place of individual unions and take responsibility at a campus level.

The NUS elects its national executive at a conference every December termed Natcon. This is a week-long forum where the various NUS factions robustly debate various articles of national policy with the election being held on the last night. Now Natcon is often held up as an example of everything which is wrong with the NUS because of the tribalism which exists between the various factions on conference floor. Having been to the 2017 Natcon I witnessed the tribalism first hand. I will disclose for the sake of integrity that I attended as a member of Student Unity which is the Labor Right faction but due to being on the Conference Secretariat I rarely got to sit with my faction, instead getting a prime vantage point from the door from which to watch conference. Fundamentally I found one faction more than any other disrupted conference with its frankly anti-social and disgraceful behavior and that faction was Socialist Alternative.

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Socialist Alternative is a far left faction, which has time and again demonstrated that it is not only anti-social but also antistudent. These are the people who would use our great student organisations not to serve the students they represent but to serve their own warped political causes. On conference floor they act like they are in 1917 Moscow screaming at those who dare voice opinions that differ from their own. They regularly delay conferences if things don’t go their way. A perfect example of this behaviour from the 2017 Natcon is when they pulled quorum and thus stopped the conference from being able to continue when one of their members was asked to leave conference floor for intimidating behaviour towards another student who was attempting to deliver a speech. This behaviour is what tarnishes the national reputation of the NUS and provides its detractors with ammunition. It also wrecks the procedure of conference and prevents important debates on some matters of policy.

Despite its factions, the NUS is an important institution and should be regarded as such. It should not be viewed through the factional lenses and should instead be seen as an organisation that can implement great societal change through its social policy stances.

It should not be seen as the go to advocate for student issues but rather as a guiding light which individual student associations can take ideas and advice from while setting their own agendas.

The NUS has the power to be a great force for good in our society as well as a great voice for change.

It is important, therefore, that those students who seek to involve themselves with the student political movement do so out of a desire to help their fellow students and not a desire to push a niche political agenda.

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POLITICS & SOCIETY \

Why Isn’t It Called the Union of S

KYLE WILLIAMS

In May 2015 the Murdoch Guild voted strongly in favour of disaccrediting from the National Union of Students.

Unfortunately, it appears that over the last three years the reason why has been forgotten, with several councillors pushing strongly to start sending money to the NUS again. Therefore, it’s about time to give a reminder why Guild councils have upheld this decision since, and why they should continue to.

The NUS is an organisation more toxic than what gets left in the Library toilets. When Murdoch disaccredited from the NUS it was largely due to the unworkable and toxic factional system.

This hasn’t changed since we left.

The NUS is still dominated by a range of factions, including Student Unity (from Labor right,) National Labor Students (Labor left being more honest about their political views,) and Socialist Alternative (attempting to thrive in one of the few places they can pretend Trotskyism is relevant,) all of which compete or co-operate to control the NUS and its direction.

This is on full display at Natcon, where office bearers are elected and NUS policy is decided for the year, and federal politicians are made to look dignified and professional in contrast.

When motions go against factional interests pulling quorum and eating motions are the common antidote. At last year’s conference motions condemning the Labor party were gobbled

by Unity simply because they criticised their party. This is far from the norm.

Speakers are routinely abused for inconsequential reasons. When 33

e Australian National Students? does an Aboriginal student talking about Aboriginal issues being shouted over become justifiable? When that student is a member of the Liberal faction, which pushes uncontroversial motions knowing that SAlt and NLS will react poorly and look stupid.

The motions themselves are often not worth the paper and ink wasted on them. Many motions over the last few years have had little impact on students, such as those maligning Australia for being a racist disgrace or Abbott for “class warfare.” Yet these, when passed, are actionable and consume the NUS’ time simply to appease student activists and their lust for virtue-signalling and protesting.

Claims that this factional system are irrelevant fall into what economist Michael Munger calls the “unicorn fallacy.” People wanting to reaccredit to the NUS are only thinking of the result and mechanism they want (the unicorn) and not how this will be achieved. The factional system actively resists the changes NUS reformers believe will save the organisation because it weakens their hold on it. Students not wanting to push a niche agenda are disincentivised to participate because factions are crucial to attain the majorities needed for your motions to pass, whereas political hacks stream in every year to climb up the Labor or SAlt hierarchy. Even if NUS supporters’ goals were noble there is no path to it, and pretending that the toxic reality of the organisation is irrelevant won’t change that.

However, even the goal of accreditors to have an organisation that engages in political advocacy for students and a voice for change is far from noble.

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Students are far from united on political issues and as a result any NUS campaign, such as the recent one against the Turnbull budget or for free tertiary education, is likely to contradict the beliefs of some students. If we accredit so the NUS becomes a voice for change then it will be through taking money from Murdoch students and putting it to use campaigning for causes they vehemently disagree with; an incredibly immoral basis for the organisation.

If you want to see policy changes or have an influence on Australian politics there are countless ways to do it, such as joining a party or advocacy group on campus.

Expecting everyone on campus to finance your political advocacy regardless of their views is not just wrong; it’s completely unnecessary.

Furthermore, accreditation is costly, and there are far better uses for the cash. Why should we take the SSaF fees of Murdoch students to finance political hacks over east when that money could easily be spent sponsoring clubs, student welfare or running events on campus? Unlike the unicorns of accreditors these would all lead to a better student experience and a far more tangible result.

Little has changed since 2015. The NUS is still as toxic an organisation today as it was three years ago, and co-opting SSaF fees for political advocacy is still morally wrong. Despite what some are claiming it’s not time to reaccredit with the NUS: it’s time to stay the course and continue spending Murdoch SSaF fees on Murdoch students.

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CREATIVE \

Searching somethin I once had a friend I couldn’t see From the darkness she’d whisper She’d tell me stories The stories were not always pleasant True to life they held darkness They also at times possessed an incredible beauty Then one day the stories stopped Now from the darkness came nothing Just like it had been before The only difference is that now I knew differently I knew that there didn’t always have to be darkness That sometimes you can find something amazing in the unexpected So like a madman I searched the darkness It became my everything to find those small exquisite moments Before I knew it My life was filled with grand things I kept them all close The fear of loss still present in my mind 37

g for ng

Then I noticed that one of my moments had become dull It no longer shined like it once did So I looked at my collection Many of them were deteriorating Hot tears filled my eyes In my anguish I dropped one Instead of breaking it grew wings and flew away sparkling So I dropped them all Some flew away just like the other Some huddled into my feet Some broke like useless pieces of junk It hurt just like before To lose so much All that was left of those that disappeared were my memories I realised that some things are beautiful because they are fleeting

DEONE KIRK IMAGE BY CORRINA MCBEATH 38

\ CREATIVE

12am experience LAUREN PRATT IMAGE BY KEANA NAUGHTON

Strangers take empty beds in your mind and lease them to the cheapest taker.

Midnight calls to the scarred and ruthless kind of people. Exposing the faker – The one who lies and receives your advances.

Nameless encounters: Do you fear them? and continue to risk your chances?

Loneliness eats your words and twists them.

Spirits hinder speech and sight.

Where is life outside Saturday night?

You struggle to find it – Pause. And begin to fight it.

Clouds fall over your slumber, rouse you before it’s the time.

You sit aside and wonder – Has there ever been a crime you witnessed?

Turned your back. Excused it.

Truth’s jagged. And you cut yourself, bleeding out old memories. Choking on your confessions – He’s not listening.

You turn away from the lies.

The blank canvas is built before the sun will rise.

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CREATIVE \

KEANA NAUGHTON PHOTOGRAPHY Keana is a student photographer and the president of the Murdoch Photography Club. To see more of her work visit her Facebook: @NaughtonPhotography.

If you have a passion to capture life, or want to develop your photography skills, hit up the Murdoch Photography Club. Facebook: @MurdochPhotographyClub.

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Upcomin August Saturday 18 Murdoch Gaming Society Games Day, contact: murdoch.gaming.society@gmail.com Monday 20 - Thursday 23 SHAG Week, contact: S.Walton@murdochguild.com.au

SEPTEMBER Sunday 2 Murdoch Gaming Society Games Day, contact: murdoch.gaming.society@gmail.com Thursday 6 Medieval Club Tournament, contact: murdoch.medieval.society@gmail.com Thursday 13 Tav ABC Party, contact: S.Turner@murdochguild.com.au Saturday 15 Murdoch Gaming Society Games Day, contact: murdoch.gaming.society@gmail.com The Inventors Club Bredieval Festival, contact: timplusno@hotmail.com Tuesday 18 Hand in Hand Theatre “The Tempest�, contact: handinhandtheatreco@gmail.com Saturday 22 The Inventors Club Bredieval Festival, contact: timplusno@hotmail.com Sunday 30 Murdoch Gaming Society Games Day, contact: murdoch.gaming.society@gmail.com

ng EVENTS! OCtober Monday 1 MUEnSA Quiz Night, contact: muensa@gmail.com Saturday 13 Murdoch Gaming Society Games Day, contact: murdoch.gaming.society@gmail.com Thursday 11 Oktoberfest @ the Tav, contact: S.Turner@murdochguild.com.au

B U L C R U O Y WANT ?

D E R FEATU Simply send an email to METIOR@murdochguildstudents.com.au before the next deadline: Friday 28 September, 2018

Your Metiorly Horoscope

BY THOMAS WENDT

Guess who’s back with another instalment of uninformed, incorrect horoscopes! This time I managed to look at a star chart for more than three seconds, so that’s an improvement. So, sit back, relax, and let the stars guide you once again through the world of mystery and panic writing!

Aries: March 21 – April 19

You know that person who’s been checking you out. The one with the cute smile?

Yeah, I talked to them, and they genuinely, non-ironically believe that the Earth is flat.

I know… just let that sit with you for a while.

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

Pick a number between 1 and 10. Ok, now multiply that number by 4. Add 12. Now take away your age. If your number is even, divide by 2, and if it’s odd, divide it by 3.

Ok, now write that number on a piece of paper. Now stop being so gullible. Live your own life!

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Get out of your shell once in a while. I mean it, get out of that shell and move around.

Come on Larry! You’ve been in there for a month now pretending to be a hermit crab, it’s time to let it go! How have you even been peeing? You know what, I don’t want to know.

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

Cupid has his eyes on you. He says the love of your life is the one you’re thinking about right now, so don’t think about your dog. No, I said DON’T THINK ABOUT YOUR DOG! …You’re thinking about your dog, aren’t you? Welp, you’re stuck with him now. Good luck.

Leo: July 23 – August 22

Did you know that Perth is Australia’s windiest city? It has nothing to do with what you need in your life, I just thought it was a fun fact. Carry on.

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Virgo: August 23 – September 22

Nine out of the ten voices in my head recommend you go on a murder rampage and kill everyone… but the 10th recommends a Netflix binge… I know what I’m going for, do you?

Libra: September 23 – October 22

Strive for new endeavours. Entrepreneurship is just around the corner. Become your own boss. You know you have the skills and the smarts to be able to succeed, you just need to try. And remember, it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught.

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

Right, so your future… is… it’s just around… give me a second… umm… ok, so I might have lost it. I had it a moment a go, and it was just here but I might have accidentally thrown it out. But look, just keep doing what you’re doing and I assume you’ll be fine.

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

The stars tell me that you are a person who has a face, and that in the near future, you will interact with another person who has a face, and that interaction will be either positive, negative, or have no effect. Safe travels.

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Your dreams of becoming a star have finally come true! A photo of you has become a meme on a 4chan forum. I’m not going to tell you which one though, cause you don’t want to know…

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

Saturn’s alignment with Mercury’s axial turn has put you in an unfortunate circumstance today. I can’t be more specific, so to be safe, try not to breathe wrong, I’m sure nothing will happen.

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

Remember last week, how you said you needed to work harder this week and not binge watch Netflix, and then you spent the entire weekend on the couch watching Brooklyn 99. Yeah, that’s Neptune’s fault. I don’t know what to say, Neptune is just being a dick for no reason. Just go with it, I’ll work it out.

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Tales At The Tav Issue 04

Murdoch’s No.1 Source of Real Fake News

Depression in Young Australian Females Linked To Seeing Friends’ European Holiday Photos

By SEAN AYRES

If you don’t put a romantic gondola photo on Facebook, how will people know to be jealous of you?

It’s the Australian winter, which, according to new research, means you’re one of two things: In Europe or in a depressed state.

European cities from Paris to Prague are inundated by the mass exodus of Australians in their early 20s. All around are such terrible linguistic skills and pronunciation that locals completely abandon their native language during this time of the year.

With Aussies abroad comes drinking, partying, obnoxiously loud chants of “Aussie Aussie Aussie. Oi oi oi” and most importantly...

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Issue 04

Murdoch’s No.1 Source of Real Fake News

photo opportunities. These photos can be found inundating your Facebook and Instagram newsfeeds, making it harder to browse for memes.

“If you haven’t taken a bikini pic on a boat have you even been to Croatia?” says Amanda Johnson, a 19 year old primary teaching student.

This trend has led to a worrying effect on those poor buggers at home.

The Australian Institute For Fake News reports that rates of depression increase at this time of year and mood plummets after seeing pictures of

friends in Europe.

“I’ve had to stay off social media so I don’t get reminded I’m too poor and busy to travel this year. It makes me sad, angry and jealous... everything except sharing in my friend’s excitement at being at the Eiffel Tower,” says Charli Bannister, a 20 year old criminology student.

Is it time to rein in the social media?

A gap in the health system? Or is the solution just to relocate the entire population of young Australians, rather than just half of them?

MORE STORIES ON METIOR.COM.AU/TALES-AT-THE-TAV Student Who Entirely Plagiarised Assignment Hopes and Prays Urkund Doesn’t Know Gone with the Wind.

“Silent Majority” Achieve Politcal Representation on the Back of One Nation Facebook Page with Three Followers.

“There’s Just No Decent Guys on Campus.” Explains Attractive Female to Unattached Male Lab Partner 48

Issue 04

Murdoch’s No.1 Source of Real Fake News

Judgemental Hush Falls Over Tav After Hahn 3.5 Requested

By SEAN AYRES

Murdoch Tavern regulars and beer connoisseurs were astonished today as a patron stepped out of the norm with his order.

It is the custom at Murdoch University that if one wishes to order a beer then they have two choices: Swan Draught or craft beer. Many students reportedly struggle to remember the last time they had a piss weak mid strength beer.

Eric Johnson, a 20 year old environmental science student and non-beer drinker, prompted astonished reactions after ordering a jug of the mid strength beer Hahn 3.5 when it was his turn to get this round Hahn 3.5, as usual for mass produced mid strength beers, may as well be a canoe, it’s that close to water. It’s only saving grace, and the trait that drew Eric to it, is its status as the cheapest beer on tap.

After a moment of confusion, bar staff quickly dusted off the seldom used tap and poured the beer, shedding a single tear in sympathy for the soon-to-be drinkers.

When Eric took the jug of beer back to share with his mates, one indignantly said, “What the **** is this **** and why isn’t it Swanny D?”

Image by Sarah Smit: Murdoch Guild Tavern staff member Elladisplays professionalism in the face of even the most questionable beverage choices.

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Sitting at the literal table: towards sustainable gender equality in boardrooms LAURA HICKS

Australia’s boardrooms are ground zero of a massive gender imbalance, with most organisations having disproportionately few women in positions of authority.

Clearly, this is not ideal, but there is much argument in regard to quota’s being put in place for a minimum number of women on a governing board. Should people be put in places of power simply to meet quota?

If anything can be taken from this argument, it should be that women want to feel accomplished in their own right. They want to feel like they have earned their seat at the proverbial table. No woman wants to feel taken for granted. So why aren’t we as a community doing things to help women achieve their potential? We want change as a society at large, but very few people are committed to finding a wise way forward.

One strategy is to facilitate programs for all young people, not just women, to help educate them in upper management skills and how to thrive in a business environment. The Australian Government runs programs like this for women through the Office for Women. However, these programs are not open to all applicants and they are not widely publicised.

How are these programs supposed to help women when women don’t know they exist?

I do think to myself that there must be governing boards with the opposite situation. Maybe because they produce female focussed products or they are in a field with fewer male experts. Yet we don’t hear about the inverse argument that more men should be added to these boards.

I do believe that women can come up with great ideas and should have more equal representation in positions of authority. I also believe that societal conflict around this issue hinders economic progress. Even the influence of one or two women can have great impact within companies that struggle with disproportionate gender imbalances. But the argument comes down to ability, not equality. We can’t put people into leadership positions simply because they are the right gender.

The foundations for female success need to be laid earlier, allowing for an easier transition into professional life. Why have someone incompetent in power just to tick a box? We need programs to make sure that equality on boards is achieved in a sustainable manner. Why not give women the tools and connections to shatter the glass ceiling and sit at the literal table, instead of just to make quota?

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