Methodist Message: Jun 2024

A ministry of reconciliation: MWS' new BOG chair, Eugene Toh, shares his views on outreach and social concerns

Vol 126 No 6 JUNE 2024

ACS Oldham Hall's Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

Justice, mercy and social holiness

Contents

Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications

/ Bishop’s Message /

Communications Manager Lynn Tan

/ News /

Managing Editor

2 MCS response to UMC's repeal of

Alvin Tay

the ban on gay clergy

Editor

4 MSM's new directions seek to deepen connections

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai Elliot Soh

Proofreaders Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan

with the Methodist community 6 The burning hearts, opened eyes and beautiful feet of Methodists:

Aldersgate Methodist Church's 45th Anniversary 11 From one generation to the next, in His service:

Geylang Methodist Schools' 100th Anniversary

/ Feature / 14 ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering

and nurturing Singaporean youth in need 17 A ministry of reconciliation: MWS Board of Governance Chairperson shares his views 20 Methodist Social Principles:

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936 6478-4793 | 6478-4763 methodist.org.sg/message www.methodist.org.sg communications@methodist. org.sg fb.com/Methodist.SG

The Bible doesn't talk about toxic social environments of today, so what should we do?

/ Opinion / 22 Soundings: Sanctity and justice 24 THINK: Finding my higher ground as a househusband

/ Outreach / 28 Not the typical tentmaker: MMS' professional volunteer programme

/ Relationships / 30 You & Your Family: Are you being gaslighted?

32 At The Well

@methodist.sg @methodistsg Have something to say or share?

Email us at

communications@methodist.org.sg Layout by Londonbob Design Printed by Adred Creation Print Pte Ltd

/ People / 39 God sustained me through seasons of challenges

Social concerns as a way of truth and life "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27 (NIV)

What if?

It is not only James and Jesus who describe God's way to true life as the way of caring

I have been blessed to have grown up in

for orphans and poor widows, extending

a Christian home, and for as long as I can

love and kindness especially towards

remember, have always understood true

those who are more disadvantaged in

faith in God to be evidenced primarily

our communities. The apostle Paul also

by a mental and heartfelt assent to the

understands the purpose and meaning

wonderful invitation of Jesus Christ

of our lives in similar terms: For we are

to confess my sins and to receive his

God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus

promised forgiveness, recognising him as

to do good works, which God prepared in

Lord and Saviour. Such faith has been, and

advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10 NIV).

continues to be, such a wonderful source of strength and blessing. But what if?

What if the Church understood her raison d'etre in these biblical truths? Then

Studying Scripture daily for over fifty-

perhaps we might understand evangelism

five years has enriched me with a

(sharing the Good News) as an invitation

complementary way of understanding

to all persons to put faith in God by

true faith, or true "religion" as the apostle

committing themselves to the Jesus of the

James says.

Bible who shows us the way to life—a life of loving God by loving our neighbours,

What if true faith in God is also

and especially our neighbours whose

evidenced by repenting or turning

needs are greater than ours.

away from a life centred on caring for ourselves, and turning more towards

This issue of Methodist Message focuses

a life centred on caring for others, or

on such faith in God, a faith evidenced by

as Jesus puts it, a way of life centred

social concerns for our neighbours. What

on loving our neighbours as ourselves

if this is also putting our faith in Jesus,

(Matthew 22:37-39)?

who is the way to truth and life?

June 2024 Methodist Message 1

News

MCS response to UMC's repeal of the ban on gay clergy

Photo by Benjamin Lee, Eyeconic Studios

Last week, the United Methodist Church (based in the United States) lifted its long-standing ban on gay clergy, which had already begun in practice. What does this mean for Methodists in Singapore? The following is a response from The Methodist Church in Singapore to the Methodist community.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

T

Making sexual orientation a required category for mandated diversity on

he United Methodist Church's (UMC) General Conference was adjourned

on 3 May 2024. Held in Charlotte, North Carolina, the twice-postponed General Conference deliberated on over a thousand petitions over two weeks. The delegates voted to institute significant legislative changes to their polity and their Book of Discipline (BOD), including: 1.

2.

The removal of the ban on the

church commissions and agencies; and, 3.

The revision of the UMC Social Principles on marriage, which broadens the definition to include "two people of faith, an adult man and woman of consenting age, or two adult persons of consenting age into union with one another".

Let us all, as fellow Methodists, continue to keep the UMC in prayer.

ordination and appointment of "selfavowed practicing homosexuals", which

The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS)

was a prohibition dating back to 1984;

has been autonomous from the UMC

2 Methodist Message June 2024

since 1968. We have our own BOD which

moral stance is not merely exclusionary.

embodies and preserves our core Methodist

While it forecloses certain acts, it

beliefs, order and rules. Since our founding,

simultaneously upholds a vision that

the MCS BOD has been based on biblical,

exemplifies the fittingness, goodness, and

spiritual teachings and values exemplified

beauty of Christian morality in promoting

by John Wesley, the founder of Methodism.

true human flourishing.

This Christian morality cannot simply be theorised. It must be lived.

John Wesley's reminder that all holiness is social holiness means that we all, without exception, need each other in the lifelong journey of being perfected in God's love. It is precisely in a capacious and hospitable Church that we learn the rhythms of sacrifice, bearing one another's burdens and through which, we present an open invitation to abundant communal life to all around us. We take comfort that salvation does not rest finally in human ingenuity but in the fact that

Our views on marriage remain unchanged from our clarifications previously published

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate,

in 2021 and 2022. For example, the MCS

slow to anger and rich in love.

BOD, which includes our revised Social

The Lord is good to all;

Principles, expressly states that: 1. "Since the practice of homosexuality is

he has compassion on all he has made." ~ Psalm 145:8-9 (NIV)

incompatible with Christian teaching, self-avowed practicing homosexuals

May the people called Methodists forever

are not to be accepted as candidates …

emulate the Lord, who is "all compassion,

or approved to serve in the Methodist

pure unbounded Love!"

Church in Singapore." (¶535) 2.

"We affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant which is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and fidelity between a man and a woman." (¶84.1)

This response has been endorsed by the Bishop of The Methodist Church in

The MCS BOD thus articulates a biblical,

Singapore and the Council of Presidents

theological, ethical and historically well-

comprising Presidents of the Trinity Annual

framed Christian practice. This practice

Conference, Chinese Annual Conference and

is derived from Scripture and from the

Emmanuel Tamil Annual Conference.

wisdom of our Wesleyan forebears. The

For enquiries, please write to

examples cited show that in practice, our

communications@methodist.org.sg

June 2024 Methodist Message 3

News

Lianne Ong is the Editor of Methodist Message. / Photos courtesy of Methodist School of Music

MSM's new directions

seek to deepen connections with the Methodist community What MSM wants to do with the Methodist community:

T

•

Deepen engagement with churches, schools and agencies through partnerships and collaborations

•

Increase relevant programme offerings e.g. church-based training for worship leaders and musicians

he Methodist School of Music (MSM) celebrated its 27th anniversary and held

a thanksgiving service on 27 April 2024 at Bukit Panjang Methodist Church. At the service, Executive Director Ms Clarissa Tan, who assumed her role on 1 March last year, articulated MSM's new plans in her speech.

"MSM wants to meet the worship and music ministry needs of the local churches, and support churches to build more vibrant liturgical worship services," said Ms Tan.

A music school with Methodist heritage MSM has been structured to engage

Beyond the Methodist community, Ms Tan

Methodist churches and pre-believers

said the community music programmes

via its two main departments that

would serve the purpose of outreach,

oversee Worship Music and Community

providing music education in a Christian

Music respectively. In 2024, MSM

environment. In all their endeavours, Ms

received invitations from other

Tan said the main vision of MSM was to

Methodist agencies such as Methodist

share "life-transforming music with a

Welfare Services and Methodist Missions

missional purpose" with everyone and use

Society to collaborate. Of significance is

music to uplift the vulnerable or neglected

a new music programme at St Francis

in society, such as the elderly with

Methodist School that MSM is helping to

dementia or those with special needs.

design and execute.

4 Methodist Message June 2024

(top left) The ACJC Alumni Choir conducted by Mrs Valarie Wilson (above left) Ms Clarissa Tan, Executive Director of MSM (above) MSM Elementary Violin Ensemble

While there are many secular and

shared personally on using God's gifts

Christian music schools in Singapore,

to bless others in love, and how, through

MSM's uniqueness stems from its

the gift of music, she strives to love God

Methodist identity and deep heritage

and others.

in Christian music. MSM promotes the learning of music not for its own sake, but

"1 Corinthians 13 is a reminder that all

for serving others.

good gifts we have come to nought if we have no love; without love, I am only—

"Because music comforts, music heals and

perhaps even literally—a resounding

music connects, MSM is heeding God's call

gong or a clanging cymbal," she said.

to use music to touch the lives of many," Ms Tan said.

She also spoke on "self-forgetting", a term coined by the late Timothy Keller, as her

(bottom left) Methodist Festival Choir with Dr Judith LaoyanMosomos (right) About 400 guests attended the anniversary service

The work of the Christian musician

approach to music with gospel humility.

The anniversary service showcased

"Gospel humility, as C S Lewis puts it, isn't

the Methodist Festival Choir and violin

thinking less of ourselves, nor more of

students of MSM's community music

ourselves. It is thinking about ourselves

classes. Mrs Valarie Wilson, the principal

less," Mrs Wilson said.

of Methodist Girls' School and an accomplished musician, was the Guest-

The congregation was treated to three

of-Honour. Also the conductor of the

songs by the ACJC Alumni Choir, which

ACJC Alumni Choir, which was present at

will also be performed at their annual

the service as the guest choir, Mrs Wilson

May concert.

"Gospel humility, as C S Lewis puts it, isn't thinking less of ourselves, nor more of ourselves. It is thinking about ourselves less."

Mrs Valarie Wilson

For the latest news, upcoming events and exclusive content, follow MSM at https://bit.ly/FollowMSM

June 2024 Methodist Message 5

News

Brendan Loon worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church where he serves as an organist, a keyboardist and Worship & Music Chairperson. He continues to mentor boys and officers through The Boys' Brigade as Honorary Captain (33J Company) and Cluster Representative (South 2). / Photos courtesy of Aldersgate Methodist Church

The burning hearts, opened eyes and beautiful feet of Methodists:

Aldersgate Methodist Church's 45th Anniversary

T

he Sunday of 5 May saw 98 Dover Road

blue, pink, purple and yellow—intimating

abuzz with excitement, as the various

towards the promise of God's abundant

congregations of Aldersgate Methodist

blessings of material and spiritual

Church (AMC)—Chinese, Contemporary,

restoration and transformation: "instead

Traditional, Youth—came together to

of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree:

celebrate and commemorate its 45th

and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for

Anniversary in a combined English-

an everlasting sign that shall not be cut

Chinese bilingual service. The service

off" (Isaiah 55:13 KJV).

opened with a piano and violin prelude of Chris Tomlin's "How Great Is Our God" by

The inter-service bilingual worship team,

Ms Hii Hui Sieng and Ms Doru Gu from the

anchored by Mr Vincent Tan, Mr Kong

Chinese ministry, with this testament to

Chong Phang and Ms Joyce Teh, then led

God's great faithfulness and sovereignty

the congregation to enter God's presence

helping congregants to posture and

with praise and thanksgiving, beginning

prepare their hearts for service.

with Charles Billingsley's modern take on Fanny Crosby's classic hymn "To God be

The scene was made even more

the Glory". As the opening hymn of the

meaningful and poignant, with the

very first service 45 years ago, this served

floral ministry having adorned the

to remind the congregation of and root

chancel area with soft pastel floral

the congregation within AMC's heritage

offerings that predominantly reflected

and history. Lay Leader Mr Loo Ming Yaw

the white liturgical colour of Eastertide.

next led all worshippers to draw near to

Small, delicate myrtle blossoms in the

God's throne of grace and mercy with

arrangements added slight hues of light

confidence, through a time of communal

6 Methodist Message June 2024

(left) From left Mr Ronald Lee (PPRSC Chairperson), Mr Wee Tat Chuen (LCEC Chairperson), Rev Dr Lynette Sathiasingam (PIC), BE Dr Robert Solomon (Guest Speaker), Rev Jeremy Yap (Pastor), Rev Ho Chee Sin and Mr Loo Ming Yaw (Lay Leader) (right) Congregation attending the Anniversary Service

(left) BE Dr Robert Solomon preaching (right) The congregation enjoyed a heartwarming thanksgiving video prepared by the Communications team

prayer and meditation—giving thanks to

church's desire and need for discipleship,

God for his sustaining grace and love over

to be faithful followers of Christ:

45 years of church-building; as well as seeking God's forgiveness and mercy for all

Lord, we are Yours. You speak and

the times that the church had failed to live

we obey.

in accordance with God's calling and will.

We long to know Your will. Teach us, Lord, we pray.

To express AMC's gratitude in response to all of God's blessings, offertory

Bishop Emeritus Rev Dr Robert Solomon

choral items were presented along

had been invited to preach the sermon,

with giving to God his people's tithes

as well as serve as the celebrant for

and offerings. The children's ministry

Holy Communion. He shared on "The

performed CityAlight's "Jesus, Strong

Wesleyan Flame" based on Luke 24:13-25,

and Kind / Jesus Loves Me This I Know",

opening with a reminder for worshippers

as well as Stream of Praise's "If You Want

to steward faithfully their identity as

to Know (Where Love Is)" in Chinese.

Methodists. To this end, he clarified

An inter-service choir—anchored

usefully how "method" in English

by the traditional service choir and

comes from the Greek meta for "with"

complemented by Chinese ministry

and hodos for "way", which could be

choristers—delivered the anthem

interpreted then as "according to the

"Community of Faith" by J Paul Williams

way". This harks back to how the early

and Joseph M Martin, conducted by Ms

Christians were referred to in the book of

Gloria Wangsaputri and accompanied by

Acts as Followers of the Way, for Christ is

Dr Joanna Tan. The lyrics expressed the

the only way or method to holiness.

June 2024 Methodist Message 7

Aldersgate MC 45th Anniversary

"Bring our worship into the streets, into our daily lives—and we will make an impact in our world." ~ BE Dr Robert Solomon to AMC

BE Dr Solomon paralleled the episode

"The moment the grasp of the Bible on our

of Jesus meeting the two disciples on

lives is no longer there, we are done for; I

the road to Emmaus with how God

pray The Methodist Church of Singapore

encountered the two Wesley brothers

will not go down that road," BE Dr Solomon

who were travelling preachers on the

exhorted, in emphasising the centrality

road. He drew attention to the metaphor

of scriptural authority at the heart of

of the burning heart as characterising

the Wesleyan faith. Amidst the growing

the disciples' spiritual encounter with

influence and strength of popular, secular

the Word of God—both that of Scripture,

and social fashions, ideas and principles,

and the Word of God made flesh—in Luke

it becomes vitally important for Christians

24:32 (NIV): "Were not our hearts burning

to hold fast to the Word of God. Christians

within us while he talked with us on

can only do so if we truly see and treasure

the road and opened the Scriptures to

the value of Scripture both in our personal

us?". Relating this to John Wesley's own

lives as disciples, and in the communal life

experience of feeling his "heart strangely

of our church—studying, understanding,

warmed", he challenged congregants to

and obeying God's Word in our lives and

consider whether their hearts feel ablaze,

our community.

aflame, and alive when they engage with the Word of God and with each other

This underscores the need for Christians

about the Word of God: "Us Methodists

to have opened eyes that, first, see and

must feel our hearts burning for God, his

recognise Christ in God's Word and at the

will and his Word."

Lord's Table as our Lord and Saviour who

8 Methodist Message June 2024

(above left) Ms Dora Gu played "How Great Is Our God" as the musical prelude (above middle and right) Fellowship over lunch

(above left) Fellowship over lunch (above right) Chinese Ministry pastoral staff Ps Sharon Lam (left) with some members of the Chinese Ministry (below) The children presented two songs, namely 《如果你想知道》 and "Jesus Strong and Kind"

took on flesh, lived, suffered, died, rose and

the last, the lost and the least. It was this

will return for us. It is then also impellent

that made the early Methodists such an

for Christians to have opened eyes that see

intensely missional people, for indeed:

and recognise God's work in us, through

"How beautiful are the feet of those who

the Spirit making us to be more like Christ,

bring good news!" (Romans 10:15 NIV).

and around us, through God's continued work among the peoples and in the world.

Finally, BE Dr Solomon closed with a call for

The Methodist pursuit of both personal

worshippers to respond scripturally in every

and social holiness therefore includes

season: "Bring our worship into the streets,

working among, for and with those who

into our daily lives—and we will make an

are disadvantaged and marginalised—

impact in our world."

June 2024 Methodist Message 9

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News

By Geylang Methodist School (Primary) and Geylang Methodist School (Secondary). / Photos courtesy of Geylang Methodist Schools

GEYLANG METHODIST SCHOOLS' 100TH ANNIVERSARY

From one generation to the next,

in His service

"One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts."

Psalm 145:4 (NIV)

I

t is not everyday that a school in

of Ms Theresa Tong, Mrs Chen Yan Xi and

Singapore gets to commemorate a

Nathaniel Chen. Ms Tong taught Mrs

centennial anniversary, but this is exactly

Chen during the latter's primary school

what the Geylang Methodist Schools

years from 1993 to 1998. Under Ms Tong's

(GMS) had the privilege to do this year.

tutelage, Mrs Chen grew in confidence in her talents and abilities and was inspired

It is even rarer to have generations of

to become a teacher too. Today she

educators and students linked across

works alongside Ms Tong as a colleague

decades in time—teachers working

in the lower primary levels. Nathaniel,

alongside their own teachers in a school,

Mrs Chen's elder son, was a student of

with their own children walking in the

Ms Tong's when he was in lower primary.

footsteps that they had themselves once

Tobias, Mrs Chen’s younger son, also

taken as students—learning, playing and

joined the school last year.

growing up in the same space.

Indeed, it is on the occasion of GMS' 100th year as a beacon of light in its community that the primary and secondary schools recount the blessings of God's goodness throughout the generations (Psalm 100:5).

A school family that transcends generations In Geylang Methodist School (Primary), a familial bond shines through the lives

Back row (left to right): Ms Theresa Tong and Mrs Chen Yan Xi, teachers at GMS(P); front row (left to right): Tobias Chen and Nathaniel Chen, children of Mrs Chen

June 2024 Methodist Message 11

From one generation to the next, in His service

This year, Ms Tong celebrates 43 years

Secondary 2. Miss Leong also became

of service to God in GMS, and to see the

Wendy's Bible study teacher, and at one

children of her own students study at

point asked Wendy and her class to pray

the same school has been gratifying.

for their direction in life. Another teacher,

Just as a generation is raised up for God's

Mdm Hazel Eng, was her Secondary 4

work in a new season, Ms Tong and Mrs

form teacher and Literature teacher.

Chen are experiencing how their lives

Wendy recalled that although she was

in GMS continue to have a ripple effect

not the best Literature student, she

through time as old students return

liked the subject because of Mdm Eng.

with a passion to teach and grow others

This experience made her realise that

in the same way they had been blessed

teachers can make a difference. Through

decades before.

prayer, her personal experiences and her teacher-mentors at GMS, Wendy was inspired to embark on a career as a Mathematics teacher to impact the next generation of students. In fact, one of Wendy's former students, Ms Yvonee Wong has already returned to the school as a teacher.

Likewise at Geylang Methodist School (Secondary), this tradition of educational legacy is seen through three generations of teachers. Miss Wendy Wong set her mind on coming to GMS although her friends had chosen other schools. It was not because the school was near her home. Rather, Wendy felt an unspoken, divine connection with GMS. In fact, these are just some examples of When she first arrived, Wendy was a shy

former students returning to serve in

and quiet student. However, it was the

GMS, a testament to the profound ties

kind and caring teachers in the school

that bind the GMS family together. It

who managed to coax her out of her

reflects not only the enduring impact of

shell. One such teacher was Mrs Goh

dedicated teaching but also the strong

Heng Mei, who instilled in her a passion

sense of loyalty and commitment students

for learning.

feel towards their alma mater. As each generation returns to contribute to the

In The Girls' Brigade, another teacher,

school's legacy, they not only uphold its

Miss Leong Jing Ying, encouraged

traditions but also inspire the next cohort

Wendy to pray and was instrumental in

of educators, fostering a continuum of

leading her to Christ when she was in

excellence and relationship-building.

12 Methodist Message June 2024

Current teachers from GMS(P) (left) and GMS(S) (right): A generation of teachers work alongside the teachers who had once taught them at the same school

A birthday gift for GMS' centennial celebrations

In April 2024, a Combined Centennial

God's centennial birthday gift to GMS

month ended on a high note with Ms

came knocking in the most remarkable

Anne Averill's visit to both schools. To

way. Only he could orchestrate

commemorate her visit, she painted

reconnecting the family ties that bind

and decorated a square on the 100th

the legacy of the schools to that of the

anniversary mural located in the

founders. In August 2023, GMS(P) received

secondary school and inscribed her

a request from an American lady, asking

name on it. She also visited the newly-

if she could take photos of the school.

opened heritage galleries in the primary

Her name was Ms Carolyn Averill, and

and secondary schools, aptly christened

she explained that she was the great-

collectively as The Living Gallery, which

granddaughter of the school's founder,

provided her with a wealth of information

Rev Floyd Herman Sullivan, who was a

about the schools' history.

Service and Dinner was held, and the

District Superintendent of The Methodist Church in Singapore at that time. Ms

Towards the end of her visit, Ms Anne

Averill had found the name of her great-

Averill, herself a former educator and

grandfather on the school's website and

school principal, made an impassioned

wanted to see the school he had founded

speech. She said, "This school is

a century ago.

embodying everything that my heart has in it, that my grandfather had," referring

(right) Ms Anne Averill, granddaughter of Rev Floyd Sullivan, standing in front of the 100th anniversary mural at GMS(S), which she helped to decorate (below) GMS representatives with Ms Anne Averill (centre, in white skirt)

to Rev Sullivan's heart for educating hearts and minds to learn for life.

The school is blessed with a constant stream of alumni who return to serve as teachers, enabling its mission-centred ethos to be passed down from one generation to another. To have personally encountered Rev Sullivan's descendants is akin to having found long-lost family On 30 August 2023, she visited both schools

members. To see the same heartbeat

and shared that her mother, Ms Anne

across the generations, near and far,

Averill, Rev Sullivan's granddaughter, aimed

in his service—teaching, growing and

to make a trip to Singapore specially to visit

moulding the next generation—was

the schools for the centennial celebrations.

humbling and deeply moving.

June 2024 Methodist Message 13

Feature

Koh Chin Ling is the Head of Communications at Barker Road Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Koh Chin Ling

ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need A staff member, Jasmine Goh, approached him and gave him a full tour of the boarding house.

"At the end of it, I knew that there was no way I would be able to pay for any of this," he said.

"So I just thanked her and walked out."

Shortly after, then-ACS (BR) Principal Peter Tan called Malcolm into his office, and within a few weeks, Malcolm found himself back at OH as a boarder.

"I was hopeless at that point in time, you know, I really didn't know where to go," he said.

Malcolm ended up staying at OH for five Malcolm Chua

M

years as one of the earliest beneficiaries of the ACS OH Hope Fund, a fund set up in

alcolm Chua's parents divorced when he

2014 with the support of BRMC.

was seven years old.

Turning point for ACS Oldham Hall

"Things just worsened as the years went on," he said, as he moved from place to place

Since the early 2000s, OH had been housing

with his father, often "getting kicked out of

mostly Ministry of Education (MOE) scholars

different places". His relationship with his

from the region when it was rebuilt on the

father was also deteriorating.

Barker Road campus.

It was 2015, and the Anglo-Chinese School

But 10 years on, the number of MOE

(Barker Road) Secondary 4 pupil noticed

scholars had shrunk due to a change in

students from different schools would come

policy. This resulted in a drop of more

into the Barker Road campus.

than 60 percent in boarder numbers while other hostels were closing.

"I always wondered where they were going," he said. One day, he decided to follow one

It was also around this time that

of them. To his surprise, he ended up at ACS

BRMC member Hugh Yii took over as

Oldham Hall (OH)—the oldest boarding

chairperson of OH.

institution in Singapore which houses over 300 students studying in local and

"The team was very concerned about what

international schools. It is co-located with ACS

would happen to the staff and students,"

(Barker Road), ACS (Primary) and Barker Road

Hugh said. "I was worshipping in church on

Methodist Church (BRMC).

a Sunday, and God said, besides housing

14 Methodist Message June 2024

international students, there will be a place to

About four months later, the Hope Fund

help the needy youths in Singapore."

was born, enabling OH to take in, care for and nurture teens from broken families, and

"But I couldn't quite understand that because

prepare them for life ahead. The Hope Fund

we never had that calling as our mission,"

marked a turning point for OH.

Hugh said.

Today OH is operating at full occupancy with So he turned to Peter, sounding out the

boarders from about 22 countries, including

ACS Principal on God's direction for OH, and

those as far as Ecuador and Kazakhstan.

Mark Tan, another BRMC member. A season

"God has really brought the nations to our

of "journeying with the Lord" followed as

doorstep, not just from Asia but from faraway

they sought clarity on how to continue as a

lands as well," Hugh said.

boarding school and answer his call.

Finding themselves and God OH was starting to position itself as a safe and nurturing boarding partner of

OH not only provides respite, but also a fresh

international schools in Singapore when

start, for Hope Fund recipients.

it was referred its first case of a youth in need by the Ministry of Social and Family

Siblings Siobhan Yeow and Yeow Jie Min

Development.

stayed at OH from 2018 to 2020 after their mum found them the safe space, away from

"We took this case as confirmation from

their abusive father. They were then in their

the Lord as well, that what we had heard

final years of junior college and secondary

was accurate," Hugh said. "And we took

school respectively.

it as a stepping stone to understand whether the setting and our setup was

"It was strangely peaceful," Siobhan said, while

actually suitable to help the youth in need

admitting it took her a while to adjust to the

in our community."

new environment because of anxiety issues.

"We were so used to being uncomfortable that being at peace felt very strange."

Being among peers and other believers, the graduating NTU student said, "It's like a safe space and we would just throw questions at Mr Kevin (the Chaplain) and just basically be able to discuss whatever we wanted regarding the Bible, the faith and stuff like that, and to try to guide each other along and learn from each other."

They could also explore various interests, such as cooking and gardening.

"Some of the (younger) Hope Fund recipients were under my care and I think that provided me an opportunity to be a good role model," said Jie Min, who has been having admission interviews with tertiary institutions since mid-May.

(from left to right) Siobhan Yeow, Yeow Jie Min and Hugh Yii June 2024 Methodist Message 15

ACS Oldham Hall Hope Fund celebrates 10 years of sheltering and nurturing Singaporean youth in need

Similarly for Malcolm, staying at OH opened

then started volunteering as a coach before

up opportunities for him as he was then able

entering National Service.

to make it to the Shaw Pool for training on time at 5.30 a.m., unlike in the past when

"It's crazy because I couldn't even get myself

commuting by bus meant he was always late.

into the final, and now God wanted me to coach people to swim," he said. "God assured

"I was able to really experience what it was like

me that it would be okay, it would work out,

to train with the competitive group," he said.

you know, and to just do it."

While Malcolm was struggling to play catch

Malcolm, now 25, is a full-time assistant

up in competitive swimming because of his

coach for the national swim team. He will also

late start, a new Assistant House Master by

return to OH as an Assistant House Master

the name of Matthew joined OH. His calmness

in the next school term, the first Hope Fund

and ability to connect with the boarders

recipient to do so.

encouraged Malcolm to ask many questions.

"I challenged him a lot and to some degree I was also challenging God," Malcolm said.

It came to a point that Malcolm finally asked God what it was that he was meant to do. He

For more on how you can give, or volunteer your time to support the Hope Fund and its boarders, please contact jasmine.goh@oldhamhall.org.

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Feature

By MWS Communications Team. / Photo courtesy of MWS

Eugene Toh, 43, is the Chairperson of the Board of Governance of Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), the social concerns arm of The Methodist Church in Singapore. A long-time Methodist, he grew up and was baptised in Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church. Eugene shares his thoughts about MWS and his perspective on its work in outreach and social concerns.

Eugene Toh (third from left), Chairperson of MWS Board of Governance, with residents at MWS Bethany Nursing Home - Choa Chu Kang

to make a breakthrough. It was a story I held close to my heart.

What inspired you to get involved in Christian outreach and social

In 2010, when The Methodist Church in

concerns, and with MWS?

Singapore (MCS) celebrated its 125th anniversary, MWS collaborated with the

When I was young, my father often told

churches to raise $1.25 million for needy

me that in future, if I am in a position or

families across Singapore. This initiative

ability to give back to others, I must do

blessed each family with $125 every

so. I could not understand why he kept

month for a year.

drumming that message in me because we were not from a very wealthy

I signed up for this programme through my

family. But somehow, by chance and

church then and was assigned to a family

providence, he was the only one among

living in a rental flat in Ghim Moh. The uncle,

his siblings to make it to university

who was in his sixties, was wheelchair-bound

because there were a few individuals

as he was diabetic and had had both his legs

who supported him. That enabled him

amputated. Living with his wife and daughter June 2024 Methodist Message 17

A ministry of reconciliation

in a 2-bedroom flat and with his only son

Second, we want to see relationships

in prison, the family clearly had financial

restored. We have witnessed this in many

difficulties. When I gave him his first cheque,

of our services because of the interventions

he was perplexed and asked if there were any

and love shown by our chaplains, staff

strings attached, for example, if he needed to

and volunteers. So, the Chaplaincy work

go to church. I said, no, it was unconditional.

is very important. We are growing the MWS Chaplaincy team and expanding the

Over time, he became more familiar with us,

volunteer programme and engagement

perhaps too familiar. There were times he

with the churches, and we hope that more

shouted at me if he thought that his cheque

Methodists can come on board.

was late and told me not to visit again. But he would apologise the next time I saw him,

Finally, we want to see people reconciled to

and our relationship was restored.

God. For those beneficiaries who are open and want to listen, this is an opportunity for

Later he was open to hear the gospel and I

us to share the Good News as well. There

managed to share the Good News with him.

have been many testimonies such as the

Eventually, he received Jesus as his Lord and

Ghim Moh uncle's that I described earlier,

Saviour, and was baptised shortly before he

where people came to know the Lord and

died. The church is still ministering to his

found peace.

widow and family today.

In sum, I hope that MWS will continue to That was how I started volunteering with

be a place to do good, because it is simply

MWS. Over time, I joined the Board and

good to do so. We bless unconditionally

in September 2023, took on the role of

because God's love is unconditional. We

Chairperson. MWS has given me the

were set up as the social concerns arm

opportunity to bless others like how I had

of MCS and we will continue to provide

been blessed.

avenues for our Methodist community to be a blessing to our society.

As its Chairperson, what is your perspective on MWS' role in the area of

What lies ahead for MWS?

social concerns and outreach, especially in relation to the Methodist community?

The charity space is going through many changes. Rising costs in healthcare and

In 2 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul talks to

demographic changes in society will present

us about being "ambassadors of Christ", and

new challenges for us. The way we operate

that we are entrusted with the ministry of

will have to evolve. What has not changed

reconciliation. MWS' work is a ministry of

however, is the need for more co-workers

reconciliation in three ways.

on this mission field, to meet the needs of vulnerable groups in Singapore.

First, we want to lead our beneficiaries to a wholesome state. By that, I mean we do not

Next year will be MCS' 140th anniversary. We

just want to meet their physical needs, but

are considering what MWS can do to support

also bring restoration and reconciliation to

MCS in this celebration. Should we raise $1.4

the whole person. In John 10:10, Jesus said,

million to bless families in need, like what

"I have come that they may have life, and

we did during MCS' 125th anniversary? If we

have it to the full." We want our beneficiaries

do, who else can we bless, apart from the

to lead empowered lives, fulfilling their

beneficiaries that we are already serving?

potential and making a difference to their

For example, MWS, together with ACS

families, communities and to Singapore.

(Anglo-Chinese School), will be setting up

18 Methodist Message June 2024

a SPED (special education) school in 2026. Will we be open to giving scholarships to eligible graduates so that they may further their education and enhance their prospects at landing meaningful work, perhaps even contributing back to the social services sector?

Can we go even further, like raising 1.4 million volunteer hours from our Methodist community? Within our churches, we have people with different talents, skills and expertise.

We welcome people to volunteer in any capacity, and not necessarily only in MWS' services and centres. Can we bless other organisations, such as the smaller charities, so that they too can be a blessing to those in need?

We will be sharing more plans in the months ahead so keep a lookout, and we hope that the Methodist community and many more will come alongside this purposeful mission.

One thing is certain: every time

I recall this elderly resident at MWS Nursing Home - Yew Tee, who was estranged from his wife, and expressed a desire to return to his home country. The couple had started a travelling business when they were younger, but it had failed. She wanted to settle down, while he refused. Taking their son, she left him to build a new life. She eventually cut ties with her husband but continued to pray for him daily.

The MWS care team—made up of the chaplain, Centre head and medical social worker—were concerned about the couple not having closure and contacted his wife to explore reconciliation. Despite her initial reluctance, she agreed to meet, sharing her traumatic experiences during their difficult marriage. At the meeting, she read a letter detailing her years of anguish. At the end, she said, "I forgive you, and I pray that God forgives you too." The resident broke down, expressing love for her and their son.

The couple's reconciliation brought closure, and the resident spent his remaining days in a nursing home in his home country. After his passing, the wife expressed gratitude to MWS for facilitating their meeting, which brought her peace and comfort.

- Eugene Toh Chairperson of MWS Board of Governance

the Methodist community comes

PRAY FOR MWS!

together to commemorate

While we do not fully understand the wonderful mystery of prayer, we are clear that our Lord encourages us to pray! So we invite you to spend a few minutes each month to join us in prayer. Indeed, as our Lord Jesus said, "I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son" (John 14:13).

a milestone, we do not only celebrate among ourselves; we always remember and bless those who are in need. That is the heartbeat of Jesus Christ, for he said that when we do it to the least of these brothers and sisters, we have done it to him.

On behalf of the MWS Board and staff, I commit MWS to continue to be part of the Methodist movement to be ambassadors for Christ, to partner each willing

HOW TO JOIN “PRAY FOR MWS” 1

Scan this QR code to join the WhatsApp Channel: “Pray for MWS”

2

After viewing Channel, click “Follow” on the top right.

You may find the Channel under the “Updates” tab.

3

Remember to unmute to receive the monthly notifications on the Channel!

4

Most importantly, share them with family and friends who wish to pray for MWS!

Methodist in Singapore to bring the Good News and good works to those around us.

Visit mws.sg to find out how you can get involved in the meaningful work of MWS. To provide direct feedback or suggestions to Eugene on how MWS can better support the Methodist community, connect with him at eugenetoh@mws.sg.

June 2024 Methodist Message 19

Feature

Rev Ranganathan Prabhu is the Associate Pastor at Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street).

Methodist Soci a l Principles

The Bible doesn't talk about toxic social environments of today, so what should we do?

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good. But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible. How, then, can we apply biblical principles to our lives? In this 9-part series, The Methodist Church in Singapore shares reflections on its Social Principles which, more than ever before, can help believers live by God's firm principles in today's volatile and complex world. This instalment discusses the Sphere of Social Well-being. / Part 3 of 9 /

The founder of the Methodist movement, the late Rev John Wesley, emphasised "social holiness" in his writings and preachings. He encouraged his members to get involved in their own special way in the community.

Wesley wanted church members to cross the barriers that existed in the social strata of his time and selflessly reach out to those in need. He insisted on social change rather than structural change.

A relational society, not just a functional one

Jesus said: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many"

Social well-being is a "healthy social

(Mark 10:45 NIV).

environment".

What Jesus meant was that service to It calls on everyone in the community to

humanity calls for a life of sacrifice, borne

actively participate and contribute for the

out of love and devotion.

betterment of society. It involves building a healthy relational, connectional and

Singapore, though a small nation, has

functional community. Every individual

multiple challenges. In a busy world, our

is valued, respected, appreciated and

eyes need to be wide open, our sensitivities

tapped into.

sharp, our hearts filled with compassion

20 Methodist Message June 2024

and our minds ever willing, with the same

Even those who break the law need mercy

attitude as Jesus.

and help. We can provide an opportunity to offenders for rehabilitation and a new

Some people need curative measures

lease of life.

and some preventive, while others need redemptive and restorative help.

It can be challenging, though, when we come across wounded ones who are victims

It is easy to bypass the disadvantaged

of their own circumstances. In the process of

if we focus only on our needs. It is also

healing their wounds, we may be wounded,

possible to justify our non-involvement

too, according to Henri Nouwen, the great

citing the same excuse.

Dutch writer and theologian.

As God's people we need to place others above

Caution and self-care are important in such

ourselves. While we cannot meet all needs by

undertakings. But, in turn, one of these

ourselves, we certainly can meet some.

people we help can become healers too.

For centuries, churches and missions have

Nouwen says: "When our wounds cease to be

been serving the community to alleviate

a source of shame, and become a source of

poverty by caring for the poor, providing

healing, we have become wounded healers."

education to the downtrodden, giving asylum to the disadvantaged and destitute,

So the Church as a community of God's

providing medical care to the sick and

people should go all out, beyond herself, to

dying, and helping those who struggle

fulfil her duties. We should be active agents

with gambling, alcohol or drug addiction.

of change who, by helping others, can

There are others who struggle with gender

transform the world as Jesus would want.

identity. The list is not complete.

Equipping and empowering each other for good

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify

Social well-being, as a Christian social principle, recommends a balanced community.

your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

Our service to people should not only address "felt" needs but "real" ones too. If we do not address the real needs, our efforts will not bring a solution. Just clearing the web will not solve the problem—we need to kill the spider.

Social well-being ensures development after relief. We need to equip and empower the community to carry on with mutual support. We encourage members to care for others in workplaces, while not endorsing evil practices.

This article was first published in Salt & Light on 8 April 2024.

June 2024 Methodist Message 21

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

Soundings

Sanctity and justice

S

ince 2009 the United Nations has

Wesley provides a fuller explanation of why

designated 20 February as World

this is the case in another sermon entitled

Day of Social Justice. The purpose of this

Of Former Times:

observance is to "commemorate and urge all efforts to combat unemployment, social

By religion I mean the love of God and

exclusion, and poverty".1

man, filling the heart and governing the life. The sure effect of this is the uniform

For many years now, the idea of social justice

practice of justice, mercy, and truth. This

has pervaded public discourse and fired up

is the very essence of it, the height and

public imagination, even though what is

depth of religion, detached from this

meant by that ideologically-laden term can

or that opinion, and from all particular

vary considerably.

modes of worship. 3

Christians should also be profoundly

It should be clear from the above passage

concerned about issues of justice because

that, for Wesley, there is a profound

they worship and serve the just God

relationship between the life of faith and

(Deuteronomy 32:4). However, the Christian

the practice of justice. Wesley insists that

understanding of justice and what motivates

justice, mercy and truth can only flow

and energises the quest for it can be

from genuine love of God and our fellow

radically different from secular accounts.

human beings.

Arguably, one of the most profound, if

To put this slightly differently, Wesley

neglected, treatments of the Christian

makes a profound connection between

understanding of justice in the 18th century

holiness and the works of justice and mercy.

is that of John Wesley, the founder of

This is because Wesley sees the most

Methodism. For Wesley, it is inconceivable for

intimate relationship between holiness and

biblical Christianity to be unconcerned about

love, even to the extent of understanding

or indifferent to the issue of justice.

the two as synonymous.

In his sermon On Living Without God, Wesley

In his treatise on original sin, Wesley writes:

states, quite categorically, that: "Indeed

"What is holiness? Is it not, essentially love?

nothing can be more sure than that true

The love of God and all mankind?" It is this

Christianity cannot exist without both the

love, he adds, that produces "bowels of

inward experience and outward practice of

mercies, humbleness of mind, meekness,

justice, mercy and truth".

gentleness, long-suffering".4

22 Methodist Message June 2024

2

To this list, we can surely add justice, which

In that same Preface, Wesley explicates

Wesley understands simply as treating a

the relationship between sanctity ("holy

person as a human being and in accordance

love") and the practice of justice and mercy

with what they have done. For Wesley,

("good works"), which nicely summarises our

then, justice and mercy are the outward

reflections in this brief article:

manifestations of holy love.

Faith working by love is the strength Wesley’s understanding of the relationship

and breadth and depth and

between the sanctified life and the practice

height of Christian perfection. This

of justice is complex.

commandment we have from Christ, that he who loves God, love his brother

On the one hand, he insists that justice,

also; and that we manifest our love by

mercy and truth flow out of, or are

doing good unto all men, especially

manifestations of the sanctified life—as we

to them that are of the household of

have seen. Thus, in his sermon on patience,

faith. And, in truth, whosoever loveth

Wesley could say baldly that "[l]ove is the

his brethren not in word only, but as

sum of Christian sanctification".

Christ loved him, cannot but be zealous

5

of good works. He feels in his soul a In addition, sanctification has also to do

burning, restless desire of spending and

with the restoration of what Wesley calls

being spent for them. My Father, will he

the moral image of God by the Spirit.

say, worketh hitherto, and I work and, at

Wesley explains:

all possible opportunities, he is, like his Master, going about doing good. 8

While thou seekest God in all things thou shalt find him in all, the fountain of all holiness, continually filling thee with his own likeness, with justice, mercy, and truth.6 On the other hand, Wesley also teaches that the works of piety, justice and mercy are necessary to sanctification. By God’s design, their practice is the means by which Christians "work out [their] own salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12).

United Nations International Observances, https://www.internationaldays.org/february/ worlddayofsocialjustice.

1

'On Living Without God', Sermon 130, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 4.

Sermons IV: 115-151 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1987), 174.

2

'Of Former Times', Sermon 102, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 3. Sermons III: 71-114 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1986), 448.

3

has a social dimension in that it also has to

John Wesley, 'The Doctrine of Original Sin: According to Scripture, Reason and Experience', The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 12. Doctrinal and Controversial Treatises I (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2012), 277.

do with how the believer relates to others

5

What this all means is that for Wesley, holiness does not only have to do with our relationship with God ("loving God"). Holiness

("loving one’s neighbour").

That is why the notion of "social holiness" is often used to characterise Wesley’s vision, although he used this expression only once—

4

'On Patience', Sermon 83. The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume 3. Sermons III: 71-114 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1986), 175.

6 'Sermon on the Mount VIII', Sermon 28, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial Edition), Volume I. Sermons I: 1-33 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1984), 614.

Gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but

7 Preface of the 1739 edition of Hymns and Sacred Poems, The Works of John Wesley (Bicentennial edition), Volume 12. Doctrinal and Controversial Treatises II (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 2013), 39.

social; no holiness, but social holiness." 7

8

in the Preface of the 1739 edition of Hymns and Sacred Poems, where he wrote: "The

Ibid.

June 2024 Methodist Message 23

THINK

Terence Chua is a Local Preacher at Living Hope Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Terence Chua

Finding my higher ground as a

househusband

How I arrived at homemaking

two hours of his life.) Then, a few years later

I am a househusband to a supportive wife

when I finally graduated in 2023, I delayed

and two children, ages six and one. In the

any plans to enter full-time ministry to carry

last two years, I have spent the majority

my family (hence my role as househusband)

of my time managing my household

through a long and ongoing medical

through a myriad of chores which include

journey for our third child who suffers from

preparing meals, upkeeping the children's

a blood disorder. This homemaking decision

routines and housekeeping, among other

arises out of an intersection of several

things. This role was not something I had

concerns, not least the frequent hospital

envisioned myself doing and I found myself

visits, the risk of my eldest experiencing

quite unprepared for it. The sense of being

neglect, my small-sized apartment, the

unprepared continues today.

quick-changing nature of a medical journey involving multiple steps and my ardent

My journey into this role was indirect: I

belief that pastoral suitability is perhaps

started attending seminary classes at

perceived most authentically from one's

Trinity Theological College in 2019 after

work within their humble home (1 Tim 3).

sensing a call to pastoral ministry and had initially expected to graduate with my class

A rude discovery

and begin ministry soon after.

While I do have the luxury of available parental help on both sides and a wife

Instead, I encountered a series of delays.

who shares my load, I must confess I find

It began with a decision two years into my

homemaking very demanding. My journey

studies, to accompany my wife through the

has been a series of being shocked to realise

grief of losing our second child, Theodore,

my lack of skills and knowledge, followed

who would have been four this year. (We

by a scramble to recover and play catch-up

had been advised that Theodore would not

by consulting whatever resources I could

survive outside the womb, but nevertheless

find at hand. My resources were often

carried him till birth; we were blessed with

arbitrary and, alas, not uncommonly in

24 Methodist Message June 2024

conflict: the internet (very overwhelming),

The home-life

books (wide-ranging views) and persons of

The home, to Miller, is a place for spiritual

experience. On not a few occasions I have

growth for both parents and children.

cooked vegetables that were too fibrous for

He wrote, "Homes are the real schools in

an infant, dozed off in a "class" conducted

which men and women are trained, and

by my kindergartener and fumbled while

fathers and mothers are the real teachers

trying to simultaneously ensure one child

and builders of life!" He did not mean

ate properly as I put the other down for a

"teaching" and "training" in the sense of

nap. Moreover I have discovered that the

a classroom; rather, he was referring to a

relevance of any improvements I managed

home's influence. A home "teaches" through

to make quickly faded as I inevitably

its culture and by way of conditioning. This

encountered new situations and gaps, when

culture is what Miller called the "home-

I had to learn anew. It seems homemaking,

life" and is an environmental entity that

however common and basic, is no different

is curated and forged, as much by actions

from any profession that requires constant

as by instruction. Hence, he asked, "What

upgrading and refreshment through

kind of home-life must we try to make—if

"continuing education" classes.

we would build up noble character in our children?" The home-life is made and is the

A missing clarity

direct object of homemaking. Interestingly,

Nietzsche wrote, "He who has a why to live

this extends beyond those who stay home

for can bear almost any how." Indeed, in

as homemakers: a home-life is made within

moments of intense discouragement (likely

every family regardless of its structure,

produced by a combination of fatigue,

whether for better or for worse.

stress and making mistakes), I have often felt a missing clarity that would enable me

What constitutes this home-life? Miller

to stand my ground. What is important in

described it as "all the interactions of the

homemaking? Why does it matter? What is

members of the family". While this certainly

its proper contribution? Because my fatigue

refers to a quality of love in interpersonal

and stress often arise from everything

communication, he had more in mind.

seeming important, a set of priorities would

The content of conversations—are they

certainly help. Yet, this requires a clear sense

salutary or mere idle-talk? The quantity

of purpose which I clearly did not have. So

of time spent together—are they spent

what is homemaking's purpose?

engaged or in disconnect? The quality and nature of entertainment—are they based on

Is there a purpose to homemaking?

enjoyment or distraction? These are some of

Resources that cover specifically the

what he included in the making of a home-

purpose of homemaking seem to be rare.

life. If joy and happiness feature strongly,

Even books on work and vocation have

then the home-life "is a happy art, the art of

little to say about homemaking's purpose.

living together in tender love".

It was therefore surely by the grace of God that I stumbled upon J R Miller's Home-

Furthermore, he wrote: "Human lives will

making (the title could not be shorter!).

never grow into their best in gloom. Pour the

Miller, an American Presbyterian pastor

sunshine about them in youth; let them be

(20 March 1840–2 July 1912), addressed not

happy; encourage all innocent joy; provide

only the practice and implementation of

pleasant games for them; romp and play

homemaking in his book but also penned

with them; be a child again among them.

his reflections on its theological purpose.

Then God's blessing will come upon your

June 2024 Methodist Message 25

Finding my higher ground as a househusband

(right) Writing this article while waiting at the clinic with my son, while he naps (middle) Helping my daughter get ready for school (far right, top) Meat deboned, bones for stock, meat minced, vegetables diced, rice soaked … Now to do the dishes (far right, bottom) Being at home means capturing these precious moments of harmonious playtime

home—and your children will grow up

Even my evenings can be likened to a

sunny hearted, gentle, affectionate, joyous

game of Diner Dash: to bathe the infant,

themselves and joy bearers to the world."

shower the preschooler, read bedtime stories to them, complete unfinished

Stress and fear

chores, connect with my wife, plan and

If Miller's descriptions seem to you far

prepare for tomorrow's meals, have some

too lofty to be achieved, I understand. In

wind down time and to go to bed on time

these two years, I have come to realise

(I even feel some stress as I type this!).

that such idyllic joy and happiness can be difficult in the face of our various

I confess that far too often my days are

stresses and fears. I, too, experience the

spent in worry and haste. Stress and fear do

FOMO (fear of missing out) syndrome: Am

stifle the happy home-life.

I spending enough time with my infant?

Are my children developing on par with

Remaining in Christ

others? Should I enrol my preschooler

Like many paradoxes in God's creation,

in enrichment classes? I don't think this

a happy home-life of love, joy and peace

syndrome will ever go away.

cannot be achieved in an antithetical spirit of fear ubiquitous in life (1 John 4:18). Is this

Also, if anything, social media has made

why Jesus urged us to remain in his love?

me even more vulnerable. I have caught

(John 15). For me, this would mean at least

myself gauging my efforts through the

three things: to accept my inherent finitude

lens of effortless perfectionism that

as God's creation in a world that does not

is social media. When my daughter is

believe in limits; to believe I am sufficient in

running late for kindergarten yet again

Christ even as I work on my shortcomings;

and has not even brushed her teeth,

to trust that God's goodness and wisdom

I cannot help but wonder how other

transcends any imperfections within my

parents get their preschoolers dressed,

home-life. Indeed, when these themes

their hair nicely braided, their teeth

feature strongly in my day, I also find more

brushed after consuming a proper

capacity for light-hearted laughter, attentive

breakfast—and still be punctual? After

listening, and being a loving presence—just

all that, how do they manage to look

a few undeniable elements of a joyful home-

immaculate as they head off to work?

life that nurtures for the Kingdom of God.

June 2024 Methodist Message 27

Outreach

Jason Chin works with regional private schools, providing consulting services in areas of curriculum development and strategic management. He worships at Christ Methodist Church and has served two terms as Vice-Chairperson of the Singapore Mission School Board. / Photos courtesy of MMS

Not the typical

tentmaker

MMS' professional volunteer programme

T

he Singapore Mission School (SMS) in Laos

There have also been many non-teaching

began in 2010 as a playgroup for a handful

professional volunteers from accounting,

of young children aged between 4 and 6 years.

management consulting, healthcare

Since then, it has developed into a kindergarten

and technical fields, who have helped on

and primary school of choice for Lao parents

projects related to:

wanting a mission school experience for their children, one which emphasises quality



and internal financial processes; training

education and good values.

and professional development for administrative staff; and health-based

The work of starting and running a

assessments for members of the school

Christian mission school is, to put it mildly,

community

challenging. Most will understand a "good school" as one which has a strong academic





HR practices

also factors related to operations, statutory that need to be developed to make a school truly "good".

These elements can be especially demanding in jurisdictions outside of Singapore.

Through the years, the SMS and many of our sister mission schools in the region have been blessed by the work of specialist volunteers from Singapore who have contributed a unique but precious resource—their professional expertise. These "professional volunteers" visit to spend time in our classrooms and commit to long-term activities to develop specific areas of school operations.

Volunteers with teaching and school management experience have contributed in areas of:

Documenting operating procedures related to accounting, procurement and

the organisational perspective, there are compliance, human resources and finance

Providing input on the work of local professionals

curriculum, led by dynamic leaders, and taught by inspiring teachers. However, from

Conducting audits related to risk, safety,



Supplementing the local workforce during crisis or transition

These volunteers sacrifice time and offer professional expertise for a sustained period.

Not all are from well-to-do backgrounds, and some even leave their families behind in Singapore for weeks. The common thread that weaves these individuals together is the shared belief that their secular vocations are their ministry to God. The service of these highly skilled professionals from Singapore complements the work of pioneering founders and school staff, especially in domains where local professional expertise may be unavailable or may not be at the level required to comply with the expectations of stakeholders in Singapore. This is crucial where adaptations and revisions of processes are required for



Mentoring teachers

the mission's endeavour to build capacity



Training teachers

and develop long-term sustainability.



Developing the curriculum

Many of our professional volunteers serve at



Evaluating teaching processes

their own expense. Some choose to put their

28 Methodist Message June 2024

Eugene Chew After receiving Christ in secondary school, Eugene Chew, who worships at Wesley Methodist Church, served as a Sunday school teacher in his late teens. He discovered an affinity for teaching which led him to embark on a teaching career lasting more than 30 years.

In 2018, Eugene responded to a challenge to use his natural giftings for missions work and (top) Eugene serving with other Wesley MC members to promote Singapore in Laos (right) Thank-you notes from the students

went to Laos as part of a cultural outreach programme. Eventually, this led to him spending more time in Laos to help the SMS with teaching and staff training.

"Serving with dedicated believers in Laos has provided me insight into how our faith is lived outside of comfortable Singapore.

This continues to challenge me to live my life meaningfully in our Lord's service."

careers on hold while others make off-site work arrangements while in Laos. There are certainly material and

Grace Ling

personal costs in volunteering for

Grace Ling spent more than 30 years as a secondary

weeks on end.

school teacher before retiring 20 years ago. She keeps her professional skills relevant by taking up

Christians in Singapore aid our

relief or adjunct teaching positions in MOE schools.

professional volunteers by offering

This, in turn, supports her missions work in the

personal financial support for out-

region as a teaching professional. Coming from a

of-pocket expenses, such as airfare

family with four generations serving either as pastors

and accommodation. Other forms

or missionaries, Grace deems Christian work as part

of help come from short-term

of her family's heritage. Grace worships at Foochow

missions programmes instituted by

Methodist Church.

Methodist churches.

"In considering whether 'professional These support mechanisms are

volunteering' is something you should do,

invaluable, as they reinforce the

I believe that the key priority is to seek

message to both our local volunteers and workers on the ground that their

the Lord and stay close to him as his ways are higher than our ways."

work is not taken for granted, and that there are people in Singapore who stand by them, in prayer and through sacrificial contributions.

To all our professional volunteers and enablers serving with us in

Volunteer with us

the field—thank you! You are

MMS refers to professional volunteers as our "Delighters".

making a significant impact on the

Let us know by emailing us at mms@methodist.org.sg

generations that come after us.

if you want to be a part of MMS' Delighters Fellowship.

A version of this article was first published in Harvest Force 2024 issue 1.

June 2024 Methodist Message 29

You and Your Family

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Are you being

gaslighted?

T

he client reported that she

Gaslighting is a word which has grown

was being gaslighted! She had

in usage in recent years. The American

been trying to clarify her husband's

Psychological Association describes

relationship with another woman.

gaslighting as a process whereby someone

Instead of a straight denial or

attempts to manipulate another person

admission, he turned on her and told

to question their own understanding

her she was "overthinking". He then

and perception of self, others and events.

went on to run her down by accusing

Continuous gaslighting causes the victim

her of having "a suspicious mind",

to stop making any personal opinions

being "small minded" and "overly

and taking individual action. In the long

conservative". The torrent of insults

term, self-doubt can grow and result in

and attacks left her feeling hurt and

diminishing the self. The relationship

regretting having raised the subject at

between the person being gaslighted and

all. Her initial doubt of her husband's

the person doing it generally becomes one-

fidelity turned to doubts about herself.

sided—one feels dominated by the other.

30 Methodist Message June 2024

Thus, the effects of continuously being

their feedback to check if your perception

subjected to this type of interaction

of yourself and the other is accurate.

is destructive both personally and interpersonally. Who then are more at risk

Second, before confronting the behaviour,

of such hurt? And what can victims do?

ensure that you have armoured yourself.

Remember, your armour is your sense

Individuals most vulnerable to being

of self. Make sure that your self-esteem

gaslighted are those in relationships with

is in good shape. This may mean taking

a person who is harsh, domineering and

stock of your abilities and qualities. It

self-centred. We all have encounters with

may be helpful to enlist some of your

grumpy colleagues or neighbours but

friends who know you well. Ask them for

we can usually shake off their unkind

honest feedback about your strengths and

comments. But when they come from a

weaknesses. Remember, too, that your self-

family member or a spouse—someone

identity should include the very important

with whom we are meant to have a close

fact that you are a child of God and are

and mutually supportive relationship—

precious in his eyes.

gaslighting statements strike deep.

What makes their verbal barbs especially venomous is when one's view of self is also shaky. When confronted with unfair and unkind comments, those with a strong sense of self will feel indignant and will mount a strong protest. When such a reaction is not allowed or possible, they may bide their time and take the earliest opportunity to leave such oppressive relationships. A strong sense of self or selfidentity functions like an armour to protect us from the harshness that life throws at us.

Third, work out and rehearse with someone For everyone who is gaslighted, there is

what you are going to say to rebuff future

someone with an agenda to do it. In my

attempts to gaslight you. Practise responses

opening case example, it was a husband

like, "That is your opinion which I don't agree

who had something to cover up. His harsh

with" or "You might think that I am overly

response was his attempt to deny and

sensitive but I don't think so". Ultimately,

deflect attention away from his adultery.

your feelings and thoughts count too.

Likewise, in many other cases, the gaslighters may themselves be nursing a

When we have differences with others, we

sense of insecurity; they attack others as a

should avoid gaslighting them. Instead of

way of compensating for it.

stubbornly pushing our own ideas through, listen to understand the other's point of

How can you deal effectively with

view first. And when we are convinced

gaslighting?

that we have a valid point, do state it as clearly as possible without attacking the

First of all, it would be helpful to talk with

person. This way, we can avoid being in any

others about your experience as well as get

antagonistic relationship.

June 2024 Methodist Message 31

Benny Bong has over 40

years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently

pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered

clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Dating and Marriage

Dating a non-Christian I've dated a few Christians in the past, but things did not work out due to various reasons such as not being financially stable and having cultural differences. Recently, I started dating a Thai lady. She is not of the same faith.

I understand that as a Christian, we should not be unequally yoked. If both parties are serious and committed to work things out, should I continue dating her? I know there will be many obstacles ahead, such as my parents, who I think will object to a daughter-in-law of a different faith and nationality.  J 32 Methodist Message June 2024

Benny says Dear J, Thank you for your question about being potentially "unequally yoked". You are worried that your growing relationship with a person of

Dating and Marriage

Should I stay and care for my ex-husband, who has been diagnosed with Parkinson's?

a different faith and nationality may not be well

After a 22-year long marriage, I finally

received by family and friends because of this.

filed for divorce. I struggled with this decision for almost a decade. He was

This old farming term speaks of harnessing

emotionally distant and generally a

two animals to help in the hard manual work

traditional, chauvinistic family man.

of ploughing a field. The farmer needs to

We function like housemates who

make sure that both animals are harnessed

happen to share two children. A few

and pull together to get the best results.

months after the uncontested divorce

Applied to a marriage, the concern here is

was finalised by the courts, he was

that if both husband and wife have marked

diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.

differences, then they will not be able to

He is only 49 years old. I am at a loss

"pull together" to address the challenges of a

for what to do—if I leave him, the

marriage and family. Both of you seem aware

caregiving burden will likely fall on the

of this and are "committed to work things

children, who will resent their mother

out". This should involve a sincere attempt

for divorcing their father. If I stay, I will

to understand and harmonise your beliefs.

be resentful every day. What can I do

Attending Marriage Preparation Classes or

now? The children are still unaware of

classes like the Alpha course can be a way for

the divorce and their father's illness.

your partner to better appreciate our views

 Troubled

of the world and our values.

Gaining the acceptance of family and friends can prove to be another challenge.

As marriage is a joining of two families and traditions, some strongly held views may surface. Should you run into strident opposition, you may consider consulting a counsellor.

June 2024 Methodist Message 33

At The Well

Li Ping says Dear Troubled, I hear your distress over your dilemma. There are no easy answers but allow me to suggest some factors to consider as you decide.

Firstly, you have not mentioned the role of faith in this process. If your relationship with God is important, the first person you should seek counsel from is the Lord. Has he

Family

My daughter wants to give up on a prestigious university degree My 21-year-old daughter is currently studying in a university overseas. She managed to enter a prestigious course that is difficult to get into and we were all very happy when she got selected.

been leading you in a particular direction?

She is now in her third year of the

Secondly, do not rush to make a decision.

she graduates. During her holidays, she

In general, it is wise not to make major decisions when one is in a state of emotional and mental distress. Take time to prayerfully

course with one more year to go before came back home and shared that she did not want to continue her studies.

She said she realised that she had no

and thoughtfully consider what to do.

interest in this course and cannot see

Thirdly, your reasons for either staying or

We tried to reason with her and

leaving stem from a negative motivation: that of a fear of triggering resentment in your children or yourself. Would you be able to reframe the situation to let your decision be driven by a positive motivation? This could be having the faith to do what you sense is right and / or out of love, such as unconditional love in action for your ex-husband who needs your care, or love for your children to shoulder this burden together with them. A decision that comes from a deep place of faith, love, even hope, will allow you to weather the inevitable difficulties that will come with whatever decision you make.

Finally, this is a complex situation involving many factors such as your relationship with your ex-husband, his relationship with his children, your financial situation, as well as your own difficult emotions. It would be best if you are able to seek wise counsel from mature brothers and sisters in Christ that you trust.

34 Methodist Message June 2024

herself going further. We were shocked. persuade her to finish what she began, pointing out that she would end up with no degree and would have to start from scratch again. She refuses to listen and feels that we are pressuring her because we have paid so much for her overseas education and do not want our money wasted, rather than caring for what she feels. We are also worried that she will regret her decision later. After all, she wanted to do this course. What should we do?  Oxbridge blues

Ai Jin says Dear Oxbridge blues,

how she arrived at this decision? It would also help you if she could share what her thoughts are about leaving without a

Your daughter's decision not to continue her

degree, if she had thought about how that

studies into the last year is unexpected and

might impact her career pathway as well

heartbreaking for you. It is understandable

as her future plans, if any? What are her

that spending three years of studies at a

thoughts for you and how does she feel

prestigious college and not completing the

about the financial resources that have been

last year itself is befuddling for any parent.

put into her studies? While this conversation

But when did your daughter start changing

may not lead to a change in outcomes, it

her mind about the course? Could she have

can help you come closer to accepting her

persevered and tried her best for a long time

decision with more empathy. At the end of

already, or could there have been deeper

this, perhaps you may be able to persuade

struggles which she was not willing to share

her to consult a third party to process her

with you?

thoughts independently of you.

Keeping her and the relationship in

May you entrust your daughter's plans and

focus, let her know that you truly want to

future to God and remember his promises in

understand her and to see things from her

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV), "'For I know the plans

point of view. Would she be willing to have

I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to

a conversation to help you understand

prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

June 2024 Methodist Message 35

Walking alongside you with compassion and care

ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD LTD

STORIES FROM THE FIELD | HERE AM I! SEND ME! 2 July 2024 (Tuesday), 8.00 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom Register before 1 July via www.wycliffe.sg/events Free Are missionaries born with exceptional gifts or talents? No! They are just ordinary people who are willing to say to an extraordinary God, "Here am I! Send me!" Come and hear how an ordinary couple served an extraordinary God in the Killing Fields, learning to overcome daily challenges by his grace.

Rev Lau Pak Soon is the speaker for this session. Rev Lau and his wife, Mui Hoon, lived and served in Cambodia for seven years, with CNEC and OMF. Organised by Wycliffe Singapore

STEPPING UP SERIES | A CALL TO COURAGEOUS MANHOOD 18 June – 20 August 2024 (Tuesdays) except 5 August (Monday), 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Cru Centre, 18 Verdun Road #03-01, S207280 Register before 4 July 2024 via https://mde.cru.org.sg/event/ $50 per person (inclusive of workbook), for 10 sessions The world needs godly men. Men who will step up and courageously lead at home, the Church, workplaces, and communities. That’s the message of Stepping Up. In a world where too many men are shrinking back, Stepping Up gives men vision and tools to live godly, courageous lives. A free preview of the first session is provided and preview attendees will have the option to join the series.

For details, email familylife@cru.org.sg.

Organised by Cru Singapore

EQUIP EVENING COURSE | THE DRAMA OF THE HISTORY OF CHRISTIANITY 8 July – 19 August 2024 (Mondays), 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom Register before 1 July via https://www.ttc.edu.sg/english/ equip-evening-courses/the-drama-of-the-history-of-christianity/ $100 per person The Christian faith has a history of about 2,000 years (much more if we take into account the Old Testament era). This is a period so long that most of us have difficulty comprehending its full extent. What are some of the significant events in these 2,000 years? How differently did Christians in the past understand and practise their faith? What are some lessons we can learn from the rich history of Christianity? This course will seek to answer these questions through a brief survey of the history of Christianity; provide a brief overview of some of the significant persons and events in the history of the Christian faith; and help participants reflect on how various aspects of this history might speak relevantly and powerfully to our own contexts.

Dr Leow Theng Huat is Lecturer in Theology at Trinity Theological College. His research interests include theodicy, Christology, soteriology, post-Enlightenment theology and dialectics as a theological method.

Organised by EQUIP

June 2024 Methodist Message 37

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP).

Senior Leadership Team

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides • Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education • 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage • Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8.7 : 1 • 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups • Over 200 formal student leadership positions • Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal

Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Achievements include • Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP • 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years • Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore • PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities • Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

Raymond Gabriel Jeyaraj worships at Pasir Panjang Tamil Methodist Church and serves as ETAC's Worship & Music Ministry Chairperson. / Photo courtesy of Raymond Gabriel Jeyaraj

God sustained me through seasons of challenges

M

y personal journey with the Lord began when I was 13 years old. At a youth camp, I made the

decision to give my life to the Lord and accept him as my personal saviour. It was a decision that would shape the rest of my life.

Through the different roles I played in ministry, each with its own challenges and distractions, I know now I was being shaped for greater purposes and learnt to rely solely on God. In my 20s, I served as President of the Methodist Youth Fellowship at Pasir Panjang Tamil Methodist Church (PPTMC) for four years. During this time, my father passed away and I became the sole breadwinner for my family. It meant that I had to spend time working and rarely had enough sleep. But God sustained me.

Then I served in the music and worship ministry. It was this season that my mother was not well and I had to care

(from left to right) Raymond, his wife Anitha, and daughters, Kerithika and Harsheenee

for her and accompany her on countless hospital visits.

Today I serve as the chairperson of ETAC Music & Worship Ministry and LCEC Chairperson. Reflecting upon my life, I see that God was willing to use me and mould me, a young man with a pair of drumsticks and a desire to serve the Lord and give me greater responsibilities each time.

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

June 2024 Methodist Message 39

Celebrating 25 years of service

REMEMBERING

LOV E D O N E S

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