Methodist Message: June 2023

Biblical grandparenting The storied self Reflections on ageing and the elderly Vol 125 No 6 JUNE 2023

From earth to eternity

ISSN 0129-6868 MCI (P) 031/11/2022

How do we finish well and prepare for eternity?

June 2023 Methodist Message 1

Contents / Bishop’s Message /

Editorial Board

/ News /

Adviser and Publisher

3 Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family

Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications

Communications Manager Lynn Tan

Managing Editor Alvin Tay

Editor

at CAC's Loving Families Carnival 2023 6 Epworth's 25 years of serving children,

youth and families in apt, worthy ways 9 MPSPL and MSM team up to design new

music programme for Methodist preschools 12 Learn Digital@Wesley—A golden opportunity

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

/ Feature /

Kathrynn Koh

14 Biblical grandparenting—Rejoicing, Role and Responsibilities

Sub-editors

16 From earth to eternity

Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai

Proofreaders

/ Opinion / 20 Soundings: The storied self—Reflections on ageing and the elderly

Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan

/ Outreach / 22 "I would 'die' without help …":

Easing the burden of caregiver stress with respite care 24 Restructuring for the future

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936

/ Relationships / 26 You and Your Family: Change is more than a feeling or an intent

/ Worship / 29 Songwriters gather to craft a new Alleluia

/ People / 33 Helping the forgotten, unloved and despised

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COVER ART

@methodistsg

Upward (2023) by Dominique Fam

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Based on Philippians 3:12–14, Upward is a depiction of our navigation through life's challenges as we get older. We may take a familiar route, but God's grace guides us afresh each new day.

Layout by Londonbob Design

This artwork was produced for Methodist Message with kind assistance and permission from Sound of Art (https://www.soundof.art/). More details on pg 16 .

communications@methodist.org.sg Printed by Adred Creation Print Pte Ltd

Outwardly fading, inwardly flourishing

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV

B

y the time you read this, I will have

And what is this currently "unseen"

turned 62. Still considered a spring

but "eternal" reality? Paul tells us in the

chicken by many of you who are much

very next verse: "For we know that if the

older, but I already identify with the person

earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we

who said that there are three clear signs

have a building from God, an eternal

that we are getting older. One, we start

house in heaven, not built by human

losing our hair. Two, we start losing our

hands" (2 Corinthians 5:1 NIV).

memory. And three … I forget what that third sign was! Maybe it had to do with

So, even though outwardly we can see

becoming cornier!

that our bodies are fading away, let us be encouraged and refreshed each new

Anyhow, the Bible does not ask us to

day, by God's promise of a future that

pretend or pray that our outward physical

is as yet unseen. A future promise that

bodies will never deteriorate or fade away.

we will have heavenly bodies which, in

The apostle Paul explicitly affirms that

contrast to our earthly bodies which are

outwardly and physically, we will fade away

like temporary tents, will be like eternal

and get weaker. This is something which we

buildings.

(if we are honest), and others (if they are not being polite), can clearly see. But Paul urges us not to lose heart or get discouraged by this visible ageing process. Instead, he urges us to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be. ~ Robert Browning

seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV).

June 2023 Methodist Message 1

Coming up

2 Methodist Message June 2023

Dr Benjamin Leong is the chairperson of the CAC Board of Laity and member of Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church. Additional reporting by the CAC Communications Team. / Photos by Joshua Khoo and Kong Kum Cheong

News

Top and right: Parents and children having a go at various game booths Bottom: Presentation of love gift to Methodist Welfare Services

Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family at CAC's

Loving Families Carnival 2023

T

he Chinese Annual Conference (CAC)

A united CAC effort

May Day event has traditionally been

The Loving Families Carnival took a little

a platform for special topical discussions

over four months to organise and was a

and training, but this year, May Day took on

joint effort involving multiple CAC Boards

a different purpose. When CAC President,

and churches. The organising committee

Rev Dr Goh Nai Lat, called for a meeting

was chaired by Col (Ret) Quek Koh Eng,

with the chairpersons of CAC Boards to

while Dr David Ang, who is the CAC Board

discuss an all-of-CAC response to the

of Family Life chairperson, played a key

changes in the law last year, it was clear

role in the committee.

that the family had to be at the centre of CAC's response. It was decided that the

Col Quek was heartened that every Board

annual May Day event would be the ideal

executed their roles and responsibilities

platform to articulate this response and a

expeditiously. "Involving all the

fun, family carnival would be held.

chairpersons of the Boards in organising this major event was a good move," as it

The carnival, called Loving Families or 爱家

showed the commitment of each Board in

倍, was to be a celebration of the family, by

supporting the event and building strong

the family. Held on 1 May 2023 at Geylang

families.

Methodist School (Secondary), it was attended by 2,000 people from CAC's 17 churches.

June 2023 Methodist Message 3

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP).

Senior Leadership Team

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides • Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education • 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage • Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8.7 : 1 • 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups • Over 200 formal student leadership positions • Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal

Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Achievements include • Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP • 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years • Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore • PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities • Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family at CAC's Loving Families Carnival 2023

"Families are the bedrock of

Photobooth by Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church

society," echoed Dr Ang. "When this foundation is established and well taken care of, what grows and comes out from it will be healthy and positive. As love, faith, and godliness permeate a home, it will spread laterally and generationally."

He encouraged parents to continue to set aside time to have fun with their children, President Goh thanked the CAC churches

because doing so aids in strengthening a

for helping to make the carnival a success.

child's self-image and creates "emotionally

In particular, he thanked Sengkang

and relationally strong adults".

Methodist Church for ensuring that the event was inclusive to those with special

Moving forward, CAC hopes to see churches

needs. President Goh exhorted churches to

introduce more activities to encourage

value their family life ministries because of

family bonding and bring attention to the

the key role that families play in continuing

importance of family life.

the legacy of our faith.

Safeguarding the family unit Beyond organising a fun-filled family event, Col Quek highlighted the deep concern to help safeguard families in response to the "challenges and pressure faced by our families today".

"There have been many webinars, seminars and talks highlighting the importance of family conducted over the years, but the CAC Executive Board wanted to make a stand and announce a renewed focus on the family and its importance in the

Top: Reciting the CAC Family Life Pledge at the Closing Service

days ahead for the spiritual and moral well-being of our Christian families and churches," Col Quek said.

Left: Hot Dog stall by Holy Covenant Methodist Church Right: Nasi Lemak stall by Geylang Chinese Methodist Church

Right: Performance

by CAC Got Talent winner, Ci Xian & Family from Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

For more photos and videos from the carnival day, head to CAC’s Facebook (@cac.singapore) or Instagram (@cactogether)

June 2023 Methodist Message 5

News

Emily Lim-Leh authors children's books, worships at Barker Road Methodist Church and volunteers with Epworth Community Services. / Photos courtesy of Epworth Community Services

Epworth's 25 years of serving children, youth and families in apt, worthy ways

E

pworth Community Services originally

called Cabin Drop-in at Dunearn Secondary

started out as Methodist Children and

School. The programme was conceived by

Youth Centre (MCYC) around 1998. It was an

the school and MCYC operated it for free.

outreach effort by Barker Road Methodist Church (BRMC) to the neighbouring

MCYC decided to start focusing on finding

community in Bukit Batok where MCYC

school-based social work which could

was situated. In the early days, MCYC

generate income. It was a tough time as

operated a small student care centre as

Khye Suan and his staff Angie Cham (still

well as a drop-in centre to serve vulnerable

with Epworth today) had to go knocking

children and youths in the neighbourhood.

on doors to ask for work. "We would go to schools asking to see the principals. Often,

In April 2002, Tan Khye Suan (the founding

we would be turned away as we did not have

and current Executive Director) was

an appointment. We simply said that we

tasked to find ways to make MCYC more

would wait and requested for a half hour to

sustainable on a long-term basis.

meet whenever the principal was available.

We sat there and waited in the office for

"I felt that my goal was to bring MCYC to

hours till the principals had no choice but to

stability and carry the vision of reaching out

see us," Khye Suan said with a laugh.

in Christian love by providing meaningful programmes and services to children and youths in the community-at-large," Khye Suan said. He had a passion for working with children and youths and had already served The Boys' Brigade as an officer and at BRMC as a Sunday school teacher and General Superintendent for many years.

In 2002, when Khye Suan came in as Executive Director of MCYC, there were eight staff operating a student care centre serving over 50 children in the neighbourhood. MCYC was also doing school-based social work in a programme

6 Methodist Message June 2023

Epworth Family Day, 2016

home in Singapore for children who experienced extreme trauma. In 2015, Epworth became the first fostering agency outside of the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF). It is also one of two agencies appointed by MSF to deliver preFamily Guidance Order services, aimed at addressing at-risk behaviours of children and youths in partnership with their families.

Epworth broke new ground with its opening of the Centre for Positive Recovery in 2022, which provides therapeutic support Epworth Staff Amazing Race, 2022

for children who have been affected by trauma-related issues. Its two literacy

Over time, MCYC started to sign on school-based programmes with several schools—starting first with Dunearn Secondary, then Chua Chu Kang Secondary, Yusof Ishak Secondary, Chestnut Drive Secondary and more. Most of the schoolbased programmes revolved around group work for offending students, including social skills, counselling and behaviour modification. These programmes provided

intervention centres help children with learning challenges and impairments to cope with formal education, many of whom are referred by nearby schools and hospitals.

It operates student care centres in AngloChinese School (Junior) and Anglo-Chinese School (Primary), which provide a safe space for children whose parents are unable to look after them after school due to work commitments in the day.

the seeds for Epworth's impactful work with at-risk children and youths which has since developed into much deeper work and more structured services.

Epworth Community Services is now a social service agency recognised as an Institution of a Public Character (IPC). It operates as an independent entity and is a member of the National Council of Social Services. The Epworth name takes reference from the birth town of John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, as a reflection of its Methodist which has provided unwavering support.

Teacher Jovian doing card drills with students during literacy intervention class at Epworth Literacy Centre, Bukit Batok

Today, Epworth is well-regarded in the social

Celebrating its 25th Anniversary this year,

services sector for its specialised services for

Epworth continues to be guided by its

vulnerable children and at-risk youths in the

mission to reach out in Christian love by

areas of trauma care, therapy and foster care.

providing quality programmes and services

roots. Epworth remains affiliated with BRMC

to children, youths, parents and families of Home Sweet Home, which opened in

all races, languages and religions. It serves

2013, became the first therapeutic group

those from at-risk and disadvantaged

June 2023 Methodist Message 7

Epworth's 25 years of serving children, youth and families in apt, worthy ways

families with a vision to build strong families, foster their resilience and support their mental well-being.

"When I joined Epworth (then MCYC), there were only about 20 staff," said Mary Ng, Divisional Director (Children, Youth, Family and Corporate Services). "Today, we have over 110 staff across eight locations and have served around 30,000 beneficiaries over the past 25 years through our programmes and services.

It's amazing to see how God has sustained and grown Epworth, using our work to bring hope and transform lives. All glory to God—may Epworth continue to flourish under his leading so that we can impact even more lives!"

Epworth's beneficiaries Epworth has been amazing for my boys and they love attending Epworth Student Care Centre. The programmes have provided some structure to my kids' afternoons, giving them discipline to study and get their homework done, while filling their lives with fun because they are learning and hanging out with their friends and the lovely Epworth teachers.

Epworth has also helped me manage as a single, working parent, but most importantly Epworth's student care has helped my boys be the best versions of themselves.

 Lesley Renton, whose sons Louis (P4) and Max (Sec 1) benefitted from their time at Epworth Student Care Centre at ACS(P) I still remember those days when Carys could not even read. However, under the patient guidance of teacher Jovian, I could see the tremendous improvement in her language skills. Today, she is in the top three for her English class! Recently, I was informed by her schoolteacher that they were considering appointing Carys as a school prefect.

All these would not have been possible without the help of teacher Jovian and the Literacy team.

 Father of Carys Chua, former student at Epworth Literacy Centre

WE ARE HIRING!

PROPERTY MANAGER To apply and view other Employment Opportunities at MCS, visit

bit.ly/mcsjobs

8 Methodist Message June 2023 Alternatively, send your resume to

hr@methodist.org.sg

News

Ellissa Sayampanathan graduated with a Masters in Music from the University of Cambridge and is a Music Consultant for the Methodist Music Odyssey programme.

She worships at Barker Road Methodist Church. Jessica Chong is the Education Programme Manager of Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd (MPSPL). / Photos courtesy of MPSPL

MPSPL and MSM team up to design new music programme

for Methodist preschools

M

usic is an art that offers many proven benefits for the learning and

development of the child. Research has shown that exposure to music from early

MSM music teacher showing children instruments such as the violin (left) and tambourine (below)

childhood helps children speak with clearer articulation, develop varied vocabulary and grow depth in socio-emotional understanding. Music can also energise, induce relaxation and stimulate the mind.

How then can music be used to teach God's truths in a seamless and holistic manner?

To this end, Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd (MPSPL) and Methodist School of Music (MSM) have teamed up to develop a

Below: Bible teaching integrated in MMO lesson

faith-based music programme called the Methodist Music Odyssey (MMO). The pilot programme began in February this year for the K1 level and is slated to roll out at all MPSPL-managed preschools at both the K1 and K2 levels in 2024.

June 2023 Methodist Message 9

A N

A D V I C E

C O L U M N

Like the Samaritan woman from John 4, we too may experience troubles in our relationships, or encounter people who lead us away from how we hope to live.

Life-giving encouragement that is centred on God’s word brings hope and reconciliation. Starting July, MM’s panel of counsellors will answer your relationship questions. Would you come and chat with us?

Our panellists

Benny Bong

Rev Tay Li Ping

Koh Ai Jin

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s “You & Your Family” column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an IndustrialOrganisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as vice-president of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Scan here and share your questions on Family Dating and marriage Friendships Workplace relationships

methodist.org.sg/mm-at-the-well

MPSPL and MSM team up to design new music programme for Methodist preschools

Inspired by the Kodály concept of music

signature programme for MPSPL-managed

education that promotes a holistic

preschools—is thus designed to be a

development of the child's ear, mind,

singing-based programme. Christian hymns,

hands and heart, the MMO seeks to address

songs and stories are used as vessels for

cognitive, physical, socio-emotional, moral

teaching musical concepts. Lessons are

and spiritual development whilst growing

designed to reflect the liturgical seasons of

the child's musical aptitude and ability.

the Church year in song, allowing children

The curriculum is built to incorporate

to experience with the universal Church

games and movement activities in music

the cycle of awe, meditation, and triumph

learning that inspire engagement while

in unpacking the life and ministry of Jesus,

addressing important growth areas such

as biblical truths and values are seamlessly

as joint attention, gross and fine motor

internalised during MMO lessons.

movement, spatial awareness and linguistic ability. Children are exposed to, learn to

The values inculcated during MMO

identify and have hands-on experience

lessons are directed by a biblical compass,

with different musical instruments. All

piling the child's foundation with a

these elements will help to form a firm

knowledge of God, good character traits

foundation that will equip them well for

and moulding the child's perspective

music lessons in Primary school.

on life—all of which articulate the vision of MPSPL and The Methodist Church

Singing is a distinguishing factor of the

in Singapore (MCS). The programme's

Methodist tradition, with over 6,000 hymns

learning outcomes are also aligned with

penned by the Wesley brothers. In the

MOE's Nurturing Early Learners (NEL)

hope that our children will embody this

Curriculum Framework for kindergartens

heritage, the MMO—intended to be a

in Singapore.

Enthusiastic children at MMO lesson

June 2023 Methodist Message 11

Marjorie Tan serves in various ministries including the Small Group and Glowing Years Ministries at Wesley Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Marjorie Tan

Learn Digital@Wesley – A golden opportunity Confident participants of the inaugural batch of Learn Digital@ Wesley

A

new initiative for seniors to pick up digital skills has been launched at Wesley Methodist Church. Learn Digital@ Wesley (LDW) is an initiative of Wesley Communications in collaboration with Wesley Glowing Years Ministry (WGYM).

The pandemic had magnified the need to be digitally-savvy, and it was particularly challenging for seniors to pick up these skills.

Making digital headway in Wesley From feedback received, seniors at Wesley had expressed the desire to learn how to access information and carry out everyday tasks more expediently online. Recognising this need, Kevyn Lai, Wesley's Pastoral Team Member (Communications) said, "We wanted Wesleyans and friends to gain confidence and not feel left behind.

We wanted to help them to use digital technology confidently in their daily lives, and support their discipleship journey."

Discussion and planning for LDW started as early as 2019, led by then Communications Chairperson (now LCEC Chairperson), Alvin Tay. It was halted when Covid-19 set in and resumed at the end of 2022 in partnership with SG Digital Office (SDO), a government body that was set up to drive digital adoption in the community.

LDW was customised to include modules specific to Wesley. Packaged in four sessions over three months, the workshops

12 Methodist Message June 2023

are scheduled from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., led by SDO's Digital Ambassadors. To help seniors take their first steps confidently, lessons were conducted at a comfortable pace in peer learning groups.

Designed for seniors Echoing the need to help Wesleyans navigate the digital landscape with confidence, Koh Geok Cheng, vicechairperson of WGYM said, "Seniors may become increasingly isolated if they do not go digital—not only socially, but also in their daily living, as seen by how the Covid-19 pandemic has evolved and transformed the way we do things."

To support the communication needs of the church ministries, LDW participants learned to access Wesley's website and other church platforms such as its Telegram channel for information and to perform online registrations. Besides being aware of cybersecurity issues, they also learned to connect to Wesley's wireless network while in church. In addition, the participants also familiarised themselves with government applications such as SingPass and Health Buddy, and communications platforms like email, WhatsApp and Telegram.

"Just as church staff gather for microlearning sessions under the Wesley Learning

Circle workshops to support each other with software solutions relevant to ministry work, the same concept is applied to the objectives and facilitation of LDW," said Kevyn.

Approved by seniors Fully subscribed soon after it was offered, the programme's hands-on practice and on-the-spot consultation were especially welcomed. Claris Keong, who serves in Worship & Music Ministry, appreciated the 30-person cap which allowed for enough interaction with the facilitators. Adding that the SDO's digital ambassadors and Wesley's Communications staff were very accommodating, she said, "Their explanations were clear and accompanied by videos. I now appreciate and make better use of WhatsApp, and know the difference between Android and iOS applications."

During the session on Cybersecurity, the SDO partnered with the Neighbourhood Police Centre from Tanglin Division to give participants a clearer picture of scams and ways to counter them.

Hoping that participants who have taken part in the first run will share with others the experience they have gained, Geok Cheng shared, "We hope to feature Wesley seniors as digital role models who will encourage fellow seniors to take a leap forward if they have not already done so."

Praise

FOR THE PROGRAMME "The cybersecurity session made me aware of the different types of scams, and how to handle them—there's no need to panic! I learnt to download the ScamShield app, how to report scams, and how to block unwanted numbers.

I now have stronger passwords for my different accounts."

 Cathryn Tan, serves in Wesley Women's Cancer Support Group

"Learn Digital@Wesley is welcoming and fun. The trainers make all the difference—they were patient,

Future plans

explained clearly, and gave us one-

Registration for the second part of the first run of LDW will open soon for Wesleyans and friends. This is slated for July 2023 and will cover accessing online platforms and practical applications such as digital transactions, Google Translate, transport, food and media channels.

on-one assistance. This workshop has

WGYM has also appointed its own Digital Ambassadors, John Lim and Ng Chai Seng, who have been actively supporting the learning and administration of LDW workshops.

An earlier version of this article was published in Wesley TIDINGS of Wesley Methodist Church, May 2023.

widened my digital understanding in an unthreatening manner."

 Doris Chow, serves in Small Group Ministry

"I'm pleasantly surprised and glad that Wesley cares for 'computer-bodoh' people like me and arranged this helpful series of talks."

 Tan Kee Cheong, serves in Discipleship & Nurture Ministry

June 2023 Methodist Message 13

Feature

Dr Ho Boon Tiong is the LCEC Chairperson of Bedok Methodist Church.

He runs an educational and training consultancy firm he founded some 16 years ago and is a certified practitioner of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool.

He is a sought-after speaker, workshop facilitator and a published author. / Photo courtesy of Ho Boon Tiong

Biblical grandparenting – R e j o i c i n g , Ro l e a n d R e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s

Dr Ho with his wife, Diana, and granddaughter, Jobelle

“Congratulations, Grandpa Ho. Welcome to the club!”

W

ith these well-wishes from brothersand sisters-in-Christ, I was pleasantly inducted into the grandparents' club on the day my granddaughter was born last year. My wife and I had long been awaiting this day. As a family, we were overjoyed, to say the least.

Every child is a gift from God (Ps 127: 3). We are also told, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers” (Prov 17:6). To prepare ourselves to be grandparents, my wife and I had attended courses and read books on the subject. One such book I recommend is A Grand Calling – Biblical Reflections for Grandparents by Bishop Emeritus Robert M Solomon (2021, Our Daily Bread Publishing).

I'd like to share three tips which have guided me in my role as a grandparent so

14 Methodist Message June 2023

far. I call them the 3Rs: Rejoicing, Role and Responsibilities.

Rejoicing “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Phil 4:4).

I rejoice over my granddaughter's birth and count it a blessing to enjoy the experience of being a grandfather. As a way of passing down the legacy of my family to the generations to come, I wrote a book A Better You and dedicated it to my granddaughter.

I was particularly delighted when my son and my daughter-in-law presented our granddaughter for infant baptism. In infant baptism, I see parents undertaking responsibility for raising the child in the ways of the Lord (Prov 22:6, Deut 6:1-9).

After all, the Lord God in whom we believe is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of all generations.

Role

Responsibilities

As grandparents, my wife and I are constantly mindful that we are not our granddaughter's parents. Our adult children have to assume their role as parents, while we play our role by providing practical and timely support to their family unit. There are boundaries to observe so as not to conflate the roles.

Amongst the huge responsibilities of grandparents, we see ourselves playing a part in our granddaughter’s spiritual growth. As grandparents, we believe we have the responsibility to

A couple of instances would serve to illustrate the critical difference between the role of grandparents and that of parents:

•

Naming the baby

Names are important and in biblical times, names often reflected a person’s character and destiny. Abram, when called by God to be the father of all nations, was renamed Abraham (Gen 17:5). Jacob, too, was renamed Israel when he wrestled with God (Gen 32:28).

While grandparents may offer suggestions for choosing names based on meanings and the passing on of family traditions, the final decision belongs to the parents. We can discuss and pray over the choice of names but they, as parents, ultimately decide.

•

Parenting preferences

We can only share with our adult children our parenting experiences and pray for them to have wisdom in their parenting journey. In any case, yesteryear's parenting styles might not be totally relevant in today’s context. Today’s parents tend to accord more autonomy to the child while the grandparents believe in establishing a more structured environment. For example, when it comes to feeding at the table, parents will let the child feed himor herself in order to encourage baby-led weaning, often messing up the dining area. This can really irk some grandparents!

Therefore, we need to be wise to distinguish timeless principles from the trends of the day. The parents must explore and decide for themselves how they want to bring up their children.

•

Pray unceasingly

We pray for our children to walk intimately with God, abiding in Jesus always. Only if they abide in Christ can they be fruitful in all that they do. Parenting comes with many unanticipated challenges at every stage of the child’s development—at each moment, parents need the grace and wisdom of God to do the right thing.

•

Continue gathering as a family

Our family has established the discipline and habit of a weekly family gathering for meals and prayer. The addition of a young grandchild may disrupt the routine but we must persevere to meet as a family for bonding and prayer. Getting together may not be easy but every gathering is always rewarding.

•

Bring up our grandchildren in the ways of the Lord

The best gift one can offer is to bring another into his kingdom and nurture them to be disciples of Christ. Timothy was one such person to benefit from the nurturing of his mother and grandmother (2 Tim 1:5). This is a great privilege to be undertaken seriously.

An example of providing spiritual guidance when the parents, say, are disciplining the child is to gently remind them not to discipline in anger, to teach the child the right lesson and to restore the child in love at the close of that disciplining episode. Yes, it may not be easy but we must continuously pray for wisdom.

A brother-in-Christ once jokingly remarked: Grandparenting is grand because it requires a grand amount of time, grand energy and grand efforts! How true!

June 2023 Methodist Message 15

Lucy Cheng worships at Wesley Methodist Church and teaches in their BeTween ministry.

From earth to

A

eternity

s I write this, my elderly mother is

What is on the Other Side

in hospital again. There are purple

In the story of Lazarus (Jn 11:1-44), Jesus

bruises on the back of her hands and crook

raised him to life after he had already

of her elbows, where needles and cannulas

been entombed for four days. By then,

attempted to seek a viable vein. Once more,

according to his sister Martha, Lazarus'

I was confronted by my own mortality.

body was already "stinking". Emphatically dead, yet at Jesus' command, Lazarus

Where do we go when we die, what is

walked out of the tomb, incomprehensibly

eternity, is there an afterlife, where are the

whole, dressed in his burial clothes. If he

locations of (the unseen) heaven and hell

had some exciting tale about the afterlife,

in the (seen) universe? Different religions

it is not recorded in the Bible.

propound different answers.

16 Methodist Message June 2023

On the other hand, the Bible records

unlock eternity. "Now faith is confidence

what Jesus told his disciples, "I am going

in what we hope for and assurance

away, and you will seek me, and you

about what we do not see" (Heb 11:1 NIV).

will die in your sin. Where I am going,

By the Bible's definition, if you can see

you cannot come" (Jn 8:21). Thoroughly

it to believe it, no faith is required. As

misunderstanding, the Jews who heard

Christians, we "live by faith, not by sight"

this clamoured to know if Jesus was going

(2 Cor 5:7 NIV).

someplace to kill himself, to which Jesus replied, "You are from below; I am from

Preparing ourselves for the Other Side

above. You are of this world; I am not of this

What can we do to prepare ourselves for

world. I told you that you would die in your

death? Irrespective of our religion, this is

sins, for unless you believe that I am he you

probably the easiest to answer.

will indeed die in your sins" (Jn 8:23-24).

Of late, there are more public Besides virtually claiming divinity, Jesus

conversations about growing old and

saying he is "from above" makes the case

the needs of the elderly in Singapore.

for us to believe that heaven is somewhere

At a book launch of Singapore Ageing:

above us rather than below. He later

Issues and Challenges Ahead on 11 April

"ascended" into heaven.

2023, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong cited the statistics, "Our population is not

For Christians, eternity will be spent

just ageing, but ageing rapidly. In 2010,

in either heaven or hell. Revelation 21

about 1 in 10 Singaporeans were aged 65

describes in awe-inspiring detail what

and above. A decade later, in 2020, it has

we can look forward to in "a new heaven

risen to about 1 in 6. By 2030, another

and a new earth". Other religions and

10 years later, it would be almost 1 in 4

philosophies hold different views. Some

Singaporeans over 65." 1 How we tackle

teach cycles of reincarnation. In Greek

ageism and its attendant plethora of

and Asian mythology, eternity is spent in

needs, he said, will determine whether

an "underworld", while an atheist friend

seniors in Singapore "are healthy, savvy,

of mine is convinced that death is a "full-

actively engaged in productive and

stop", and after we die there is "nothing".

meaningful activities, and well-respected, and society benefits from their collective

What is eternity, and does it kick in

wisdom and experience".

immediately upon our mortal death, or at the Second Coming? This will always be a

But death can happen to anyone at any

mystery. Since we know of none who have

age. The Bible sets an average longevity

returned from a real death (like Lazarus')

of "threescore years and ten" (Ps 90:10

to tell their tale, eternity can only be what

KJV), which is 70 years. This is not far

we believe it is from the Bible. (Anecdotal

off from the average human lifespan in

near-death experiences are a whole other

recent centuries. While vast progress in

thing and not relevant here.)

medical science has helped more people to live longer than 70, it is interesting that

Finally, the answers the Bible gives to us

Moses, who wrote this psalm, was born

demand faith, which is the hard part. For

in 1393BC and lived for 120 years himself.

the Christian, the Bible is the infallible,

He must have written this under divine

inerrant Word of God that is the key to

inspiration (2 Tim 3:16).

June 2023 Methodist Message 17

From earth to eternity

I daresay every one of us hopes that we will

dying of a painful terminal illness, or in

pass on before we reach the stage of being

an accident, never be a "good death" ?

bedridden and totally dependent on others for the basics of daily living. And everyone

There are many highly-recommended

craves significance, even though we know

books offering insights and practical

that the tangible manifestations of it, like

advice on how to live our days

wealth, honour and fame, are fleeting and

meaningfully before we set foot in

won't matter a jot to us when we are ashes.

eternity. 2 Practising kindness, helping others and serving God by serving our

In short, the quality of our lives matters.

community, are ways we can spend our

We are born with two innate desires: to live

time to amass quality years. Practical

well and to leave behind a good legacy.

advice includes keeping ourselves

This is consonant with the biblical truth

healthy mentally and physically, by eating

that we are born to be significant, for we

nutritious food, exercising, maintaining

are created by God in the image of God

social contacts, financial prudence,

(Gen 1:27), and for a good, clearly specified

making an advanced medical directive

purpose (Gen 1:26, 28). Here is God's

and a will—in general, putting our house

answer to our questions: Why was I born?

in order. The writers offer common

What is the meaning of my life?

wisdom in pithy phrases: to live well is to die well; add life to your years, not years

A good death

to your life. And to state the obvious, to

I first heard the expression "a good death"

live well in the ways described above, is all

at the wake of a neighbour who had

that we really have any control over.

died in her sleep at the age of 80. Her husband said she had not suffered from any major ailments prior, and her passing was calm and peaceful. His disclosure was met with murmurs of approval: how enviable, and desirable, such a good death! We all know that death does not come presented in a list of options we can choose from. How then can we ensure we have a "good death" ? Can

18 Methodist Message June 2023

In the Christian lexicon then, a good death, contrary to conventional thought, should not be about the manner of our death, how easy or painless or quick, but the manner in which we have spent our God-given days.

True, in our human estimation, some

In our quest to prepare for eternity, we

deaths are more tragic than others—to

should start with an honest assessment of

be gunned down (Maximilian Kolbe at

whether we are truly living our lives daily

the hands of the Nazis in a concentration

in accordance with God's word.

camp, Rachel Joy Scott who refused to deny her Christian faith in the Columbine High School massacre), or to die of a terminal illness at a relatively young age (Paul Kalanithi, of cancer at 37, whose

Uphill (2022)

book When Breath Becomes Air became

by Dominique Fam

his much-celebrated swansong).

A depiction of our day-toBut when we consider the intangible

day walk through the hills

legacies left by people like them, it would be

and valleys of life, as we take

arrogant to say that they did not die a good

uneven steps and make

death. Death comes for us all eventually

uncertain strides toward

and unpredictably. To prepare ourselves for

our destinations. The roads

eternity, as far as we can envision eternity,

we walk on may have been

we should commit to the mission of doing

travelled by many who have

all the good we can on earth.

passed the same way before, but it is providence that guides

Doing good on earth

us and illuminates our paths.

Christians do not have a monopoly on the teaching that we should do good in

Dominique Fam is an illustrator

our earthly lives. It is a tenet in many, if

and worships at Wesley

not all, religions and philosophies of the

Methodist Church.

world. What sets us apart from others is the guidance we can freely obtain from

Reproduced with permission

the Bible, and the help of the Holy Spirit to

from Sound of Art

inspire, counsel and encourage.

(https: //www.soundof.art/).

The apostle Paul offered a cogent summary of doing good when he exhorted the Ephesian church: "live a life worthy of the calling you have received". He followed this with, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Eph 4:1-6 NIV).

1 https://www.pmo.gov.sg/Newsroom/PM-LeeHsien-Loong-at-the-Singapore-Ageing-Issuesand-Challenges-Ahead-Book-Launch

Ephesians 4:1 is about how we live our

Some of these titles are (1) Through the Valley: The Art of Living Well and Leaving Well by William Wan (2) The Purpose-Driven Life, by Rick Warren, (3) Half Time: Moving from Success to Significance by Bob Buford.

lives, not just what we achieve or who we

3

2

David Goetsch, in his essay centred on this passage wrote, "The message in

are to the world."

3

https://www.david-goetsch.com/post/walkworthy-of-your-calling-ephesians-4-1

June 2023 Methodist Message 19

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

The storied

self

Reflections on ageing and the elderly

T

he phrase "silver tsunami" is often used

of ageing: On the one hand, it honestly

to describe the extraordinary rise in

acknowledges the physical and mental

the number of older people throughout

decline that comes with ageing; on the

the world today. It is employed by not only

other, it acknowledges and appreciates the

politicians and academics, but also the

presence of the elderly in our midst, and

ageing service sector.

calls for Christians to honour them.

The expression betrays society's attitude

In reminding the Corinthian Christians

towards its ageing members despite the

of their hope for "an eternal glory",

rhetoric against ageism that pervades

the apostle Paul speaks candidly about

political speeches and the media. This is

the deterioration of their mortal bodies

because the metaphor "tsunami" suggests

("outwardly we are wasting away",

that the rising ageing population is a

2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV). In doing so,

doomsday catastrophe that must be

the Bible addresses some of the

expeditiously and effectively dealt with.

misconceptions and triumphalism found in modern discourses about ageing.

Modern society seems predisposed to view ageing persons vis-à-vis its reductive

One example of such misconceptions is

concepts of productivity. Seen from this

the oft-repeated slogan that "age is just

perspective, ageing persons are not only

a number". While the motivation behind

deemed to be of little economic value, but

this catchy phrase is to encourage ageing

also an immense burden to society. Sadly,

persons to remain active and engaged, it

the Church sometimes tacitly supports

can result in unrealistic expectations and

this view, as also evidenced by the little

stubborn denials. In other words, it can

attention given to this topic by theologians.

inspire triumphalism that would bring

The Bible presents a realistic picture

frustrations.

20 Methodist Message June 2023

In his letter entitled To the Elderly, Pope

While the elderly must accept the

John Paul II reminds ageing persons of

decline that comes with ageing, society

the difficulties that they will experience, which are part of their earthly existence.

must acknowledge and appreciate the 1

presence of its ageing members. In fact,

The Catholic spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen,

the absence of the elderly in biblical

points out that it is only when an ageing

communities points to God's disfavour

person acknowledges his finitude that he

(see 1 Samuel 2:31), while their presence

is able to "break through the illusions of

was a sign of God's favour. For example, in

immortality and smile at all the urgencies

Zechariah we read:

and emergencies of his life", and arrive at the "true reasons for living". 2

Thus says the Lord of hosts: Old men and old women shall again

Recognising the limitations that come

sit in the streets of Jerusalem,

with ageing, however, should not be

each with staff in hand because of great age.

used as an excuse to remove oneself

(Zechariah 8:4)

from responsibility to family, friends and the community. On the contrary, Pope John Paul II is careful to stress that ageing persons must continue to "make themselves useful" by putting "their time, talents and experience at the service of others". 3 Far from being a burden, ageing persons can be valuable resources and can contribute to the overall well-being of society.

It is also the responsibility of the community to take care of its ageing members. The theologians of the Church teach that this is but an extension of the fifth commandment to "honour your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12).

The community honours its older members when it welcomes and assists them. It

But most importantly, the ageing person must continue to trust in the Lord. He must live by the words of the Psalmist who declares: O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

So even to old age and gray hairs,

honours its elders when it allows them to make meaningful contributions to its shared life with their talents, experiences and life stories.

The true character of a society or community is revealed in the way in which it respects, honours and cares for its ageing members.

O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.

(Psalm 71:17-18)

It is this trust in God that will enable the ageing person to look beyond the obstacles and impediments that come with growing older, to his life with God in eternity (Romans 8:18-21). In so doing, the Psalmist is also reminding those younger than he that every phase of life must be seen as meaningful preparation for eternity.

1 John Paul II, 'To the Elderly', October 1, 1990, https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/ letters/1999/documents/hf_ jp-ii_let_01101999_ elderly.html 2 Henri Nouwen and Walter J. Gaffney, Aging (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1976), 79.

3

John Paul II, 'To the Elderly', para 16.

June 2023 Methodist Message 21

By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team / Photos courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services

"I would 'die' without help …": Easing the burden of caregiver stress with respite care

I

n the months following his father-in-law's

The couple have two children who are

death, Mr Lim Kay Kwong began noticing

married and no longer living with them. In

signs of early-onset Alzheimer's disease in

order to care for his wife full-time, Mr Lim

his wife Betty Pay.

had to quit his bus driver job back then.

"My wife started to have episodes of

Getting help with caregiving

aggression and anger after losing her father

But caring for his wife took a challenging

in 2016. She would get upset or angry easily,

turn for Mr Lim when her condition

and behaved completely different from the

deteriorated in 2019. Since then, he has

mild-mannered woman she used to be. She

been assisting her in day-to-day activities

also suffered from severe memory loss, and

including toileting, showering and eating.

couldn't recognise her children at times,"

The couple's weekly church outings also

said Mr Lim.

became a thing of the past.

Mr Lim Kay Kwong has found respite from caring for his wife with advanced dementia with the support of MWS Senior Care Centre – Eunos

22 Methodist Message June 2023

Seeing how 24/7 caregiving was taking a

"In Betty's case, as she became comfortable

toll on Mr Lim, the couple's son applied for

with the Centre's staff, she progressed from

day care assistance. "It's very stressful to

engaging with dolls to interacting with the

be a full-time caregiver. If I didn't have day

staff and other clients instead."

care workers to help me look after my wife, I would 'die' from the stress," said Mr Lim.

Mr Lim shared: "My wife is happier now and is able to engage with the staff. They

The 68-year-old first brought his wife to

are very patient with her and treat her very

MWS Senior Care Centre – Eunos (MWS

well, and she listens to them. I used to have

Eunos SCC) in February 2022, shortly after

to force her to go to day care at another

he moved into the neighbourhood. Every

centre. But now, she looks forward to

weekday morning, Mr Lim drops his wife off

coming to day care."

at the Centre, and picks her up in the late afternoon.

Day care has provided invaluable respite for Mr Lim. "I no longer feel so stressed out all the time. My wife has sleep problems and usually stays up till the wee hours of the night talking to herself. That affects my sleep too. When I send my wife to day care, I can catch up on sleep, go grocery-shopping, watch a movie or meet friends," he said.

Dispensing tender loving care Staff took time to settle Betty, who was suffering from late-stage Alzheimer's by the

Give the gift of respite care Respite care is crucial for caregivers like Mr Lim who need a break from 24/7 caregiving.

Caregivers often neglect their own well-being and risk suffering burnout caring for their loved ones, especially those with high care needs due to diseases like dementia.

MWS Senior Care Centre – Eunos provides support and respite to caregivers of frailer older adults through day care services. Besides providing personal care, staff also engage clients in recreational activities like bowling, painting and pedal exercising.

time she came to the Centre.

As the 65-year-old's communication skills and cognitive functions have declined with the disease's progression, life-like dolls were used to engage her, where she would cuddle and care for them like babies.

Most of our clients require financial assistance, and your generous support can help ease the stress of caregiving on carers like Mr Lim. To donate, visit mws.sg/give

"Doll therapy is provided to persons with dementia to engage them emotionally in a way that may be soothing and therapeutic.

This form of therapy is known to improve the well-being, comfort and quality of life of persons living with dementia," shared Valerie Koh, Centre Manager of MWS Eunos SCC.

A version of this article was first published on mws.sg on 31 October 2022.

June 2023 Methodist Message 23

Rev Derrick Lau is the Executive Director of Methodist Missions Society (MMS). / Photos courtesy of MMS

Restructuring for the future

M

ethodist Missions Society (MMS) conducted an Organisational Restructure Exercise to address the issues related to the emerging trends in missiology and alignment of roles according to the arising needs in the mission fields.

The organisational restructuring was also driven by other needs. Firstly, at the MMS Leaders' Summit in August 2022, the need for a more streamlined leadership was raised, with operational matters put under the purview of the Field Director (FD), and strategic and management matters put under the purview of the Executive Director (ED). By removing overlapping responsibilities and areas of authority, it would create greater bandwidth in planning strategically and increasing stakeholder engagement.

Secondly, it was necessary to look into restructuring because of the need to address staff costs, which had exceeded the support cap from The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS). This was brought up at the Executive Committee (ExCo) meeting in September 2022.

Because of the above, MMS was challenged to think holistically about the roles of each position to ensure their alignment with strategic objectives. This is part of a twopronged approach to address the support

24 Methodist Message June 2023

cap, as well as to review the cap itself in relation to the activities executed. The restructuring is therefore a forward-looking exercise, repositioning MMS for the future, and not just to put right past shortcomings in the organisational structure.

The MMS ExCo endorsed the Organisational Restructure on 31 January 2023. The key roles in the restructured organisation are: Field Director (FD) • Provide leadership for the field missions •

Oversee the Regional Directors to ensure all operational matters in the mission fields are in order so as to achieve the established goals

Regional Director (RD) • Formulate goals, objectives, strategies and plans in the mission fields •

Oversee all operational matters in the field to achieve the coordinated and established goals

Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building (SPCB) • Oversee SPCB to identify and analyse issues or in anticipation of challenges, or confronting, particular mission fields or within MMS •

Develop relevant and effective strategies and solutions aligned with the overall MMS strategic directions

From Nepal to Timor-Leste, MMS continues to bring the gospel to the communities through planting indigenous churches and community development

Director, Centre for Missions Analysis, Reconstruction and Development (CeMiRe&D) • Oversee CeMiRe&D, the think tank of MMS, and focus on missiological analysis from materials related to trends and ecclesiological needs in the region, conduct in-depth analysis that promotes missiological reflection of existing ministries, reconstruct or adjust of ministries as necessary, and support the entry into a new mission field •

Research on, and collaborate with, other mission agencies, and serve as mission resource to our Methodist churches

Stakeholder Engagement Manager (SEM) • Ensure MMS field ministries are communicated to and supported by

the wider Methodist community in Singapore •

Broaden funding sources and ensure sustainability of MMS ministries in our mission fields, via adoption and partnership with individual churches

Home Director (HD) • Formulate and implement approved MMS administrative policies, plans, and established goals at the Home Office The Executive Director, being ultimately responsible for delivering MMS performance, has the prerogative of assigning people deemed suitable to positions in the new organisation.

METHODIST MISSIONS SOCIETY

Distinct Field & Strategic Leadership Roles Executive Director

MMS ExCo

Admin Executive & PA

Missionary Service Member Care Executive

Field Director

Regional Director

Regional Director

Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building

Depository, Internship Scholarship Administrator

Cambodia

Stakeholder Engagement Manager

Communications Executive, Volunteer Relations

Field leadership, operations and missionary

TimorLeste

service member care under Field Director

Home Director

Thailand

Nepal

Laos

Vietnam

Director, Centre for Missions Analysis, Reconstruction and Development

Strategic leadership, admin and engagement under Executive

Database Management Executive

Director

East Asia

June 2023 Methodist Message 25

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Change is more than a feeling or

T

an i

nte

he final exam of a counselling course I

concerns bothering the

teach involves my students analysing

Wives, they hesitantly

and proposing a plan of action for a

disclose the sexual

hypothetical case. In addition to writing an

indiscretions. This

essay to demonstrate their analytical skills,

happens only after the

they do a role play.

Wives insist on honesty with the Counsellor.

The scenario involves a couple in their mid40s, married for 15 years with two young

The Husbands typically

children. After being diagnosed with a

express surprise at

sexually transmitted disease, the Husband

their Wives still being

had to reveal to his Wife the double life he

troubled. After all,

had been living for years. On the surface, he

three months have

was a loving father, a good provider for the

passed since they

family and an active church member. With

last spoke about it

the crisis came the revelation of his addiction

and the Wives had

to pornography which started in his late

ostensibly forgiven

teens. He also had a habit of visiting massage

them. The Husbands

parlours and paying for sex.

are disappointed and feel judged by

I find it interesting that the same scenario is

their Wives rather

played out in different ways by the "clients"

than receiving

and the student counsellors. No script is

the support and

given and the students have full liberty to

help they want

improvise.

to battle the addiction to

My observation is that the role plays

pornography

generally fall into three categories, with the

and sex.

prognosis ranging from bleak to potentially

Some of the

positive.

Wives try to "support" their

In the first category, the Husbands initially

Husbands

present themselves as rather confused

by renewing

by their pastor's recommendation to

sexual

see a marriage counsellor, whom they

relations,

approached for help when their Wives

spurred by

expressed outrage over the trivial matter.

fear that if the

When the Counsellor asks about any other

latter’s need

26 Methodist Message June 2023

nt

for sex is not being met in the marriage,

those who played the Wives said that they

they might fall into temptation again.

may attempt to forgive but cannot see how they can forget.

Unsurprisingly, the prognosis for such cases tends to be rather negative. The couples,

The prognosis of this group is uncertain.

should they remain together, find it hard to

Factors that can serve as good reasons to

rebuild trust and emotional closeness.

persevere—such as the children, a common faith and a fairly good marital relationship—

The second group of

help. Those lacking such "glue" may attempt

role plays generally

a reconciliation in the hope that the

have Husbands

behaviour does not repeat.

who admit their mistakes and ask

The last category is fairly similar to the

for forgiveness.

second one, where the Husbands neither

The Wives are,

deny nor minimise their behaviour. Similarly,

understandably, still

their Wives exhibit distress. But critical

shocked, angry and

differences are seen that I, as a marital

in varying degrees of

therapist, think bode well for the "couple".

disbelief. As in the first group, the Husbands

The Husbands, while understanding that

feel judged and upset

their behaviour may be related to childhood

by the apparently

abuse or a long struggle with issues of

superficial forgiveness

self-esteem, do not excuse themselves for

of their Wives. Some

their actions. These Husbands are also more

Wives press their

attentive to the hurts of their Wives. The

Husbands to explain

responses of their "spouses" also help in no

their behaviour. These

small way. Although justly angry, they are

are met by accounts

not consumed by it and do not continue to

of abuse as a child or

hurt either their Husbands or themselves.

statements like "I also

Neither do they blame themselves for the

don’t understand",

wayward behaviour of their Husbands. If

"I just cannot help it" or "It’s

both continue along this path, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

an addiction".

Needless to

Finally, this last group also receives support

say, these

and help from others to point them to

explanations

take concrete steps to change. Change

do not

begins when we confess our wrongs and

engender

are contrite, which is not just about feeling

much

sorry but also wanting to change. Change

sympathy

therefore happens when awareness is

nor offer

coupled with a desire to do better and is

any

supported by clear steps towards turning

assurance.

over a new leaf. Maybe then, with God’s

Many of

grace, we get another chance.

June 2023 Methodist Message 27

Walking alongside you with compassion and care

ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD LTD

Worship

Left: Participants trying out their compositions Right: Participants of TFWS 2023 songwriting retreat

Zachary Yong worships at Wesley Methodist Church.

He is part of the Kopi kakis comics team and loves his coffee with milk and no sugar. / Photos courtesy of Kegan Ang

Songwriters gather to craft a new

B

udding songwriters from Methodist and non-Methodist churches across Singapore congregated in Changi Cove Hotel for a songwriting retreat, called "The Faith We Sing" (TFWS), on 22 and 23 April 2023. The 2-day event, organised by the Methodist School of Music (MSM), was centred on the theme of families.

TFWS is a platform for local Christian songwriters to share their compositions with others in the faith community. Since 2020, MSM has been inviting local Christian songwriters to submit compositions to be featured at each TFWS event. In 2022, the first songwriting workshop was organised.

Before getting into the actual craft of songwriting, participants shared about their various experiences. For instance, some started writing songs inspired by journal entries, while others were commissioned by their church to compose a whole musical! But beyond that, participants were united in their belief that songwriting is a journey requiring humility because of the need to expose their own vulnerabilities. One participant summed songwriting up beautifully as

Alleluia

"something small and broken which the Lord transforms into something immensely powerful".

Dr Judith Laoyan-Mosomos, Director for Worship & Church Music of MSM, shared a brief history of congregational singing, discussing how the latest explosion of hymn-writing began in America in the 1960s amidst the backdrop of the hippie movement and civil rights protests before spreading to various places like Canada and Scotland. She proceeded to share the role of music in supporting the liturgy, and why global songs should be sung (illustrating how folktunes have been used for worship in Asia and Africa), before challenging participants to compose songs that the family can sing, and the church is in want of.

"We need to sing and celebrate God’s idea of family, lament the brokenness in families, restore the generational divide, and renew our commitment to Christ’s body here on earth. Unfortunately, we lack resources for these themes. It is time we write about them," Dr Laoyan-Mosomos said.

June 2023 Methodist Message 29

14

METHODIST MESSAGE, JULY 2013

Songwriters gather to craft a new Alleluia

Participants were given two prompts for their songwriting challenge: Firstly, what does Scripture teach about family that is critical but is lacking in today's church?

Secondly, how does society understand and experience family and what kind of challenge does that pose for Christians?

the idols in their lives, i.e. things which take priority over God. One interesting feature of her song is the incorporation of a 3-note motif as well as a trisagion 2—a form of corporate declaration—and yet simultaneously a personal reminder of the Lord's holiness.

In response to the first question, some shared how fathers needed to step up as the spiritual heads of their households and expressed a desire to see more families serving together in church. For the second question, everyone's attention was drawn to the fact that the Church needed to counter the renewed challenges to the traditional notion and structure of families, and redefine family support to include spiritual support for one another. Yet, despite all the familial mess and worldly trouble Christians may face, Cheryl Tan from Hakka Methodist Church reminded all present to love their neighbours.

Another participant, Dr Denis Cheong from Cairnhill Methodist Church, shared how his song was inspired by an 81-year-old retired pastor from New Zealand, whom various church leaders across New Zealand looked upon as a father figure. God used this example to draw Dr Cheong's attention to the struggles of fathers: from carrying out traditional roles such as providing for the family and raising the next generation to serve the Lord, to the temptation to chase worldly things like career advancements or vices. Dr Cheong noted that the role of fathers had often been relegated to mothers, resulting in fathers neglecting to be deliberate spiritual leaders of the household and eventually shirking their God-given responsibilities. Dr Cheong also meditated on Deuteronomy 11:19, in which Moses exhorts the Israelites to teach God's commandments to their children, "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

It was his hope that his song could not only edify the church, but also inspire and challenge fathers to discharge their Godgiven duties.

With these thoughts in mind, the songwriters embarked on writing new songs.

By the following day, most of the participants were ready with a draft of their songs. It was heartening to see how participants who did not know each other prior to the retreat, came together to help each other in the songwriting process—playing motifs on the piano/guitar, suggesting an alternative chord progression, or new lyrics to be set to the melody. As each songwriter shared about the inspiration behind their song, it was abundantly clear that God had placed a rhema1 word in their hearts.

Yvonne Ong, from Bukit Panjang Methodist Church, shared how she had scoured her journal for ideas. She eventually settled on writing about the challenges a Christian family would face—how the inward-looking, worldly mindsets often tempt believers to stray.

In it, she penned a declaration for families to proclaim so that they may, through worship, commit themselves to serve the Lord, echoing Joshua 24:15. She shared with participants how Christians who live in a contrarian world (1 John 2:15; Colossians 3:2) should seek to remove

The retreat ended with a word of prayer, before all the participants returned home.

As their songs are further refined before introduction to their local congregations, may God use them as his instrument for the extension of his kingdom in redeeming souls for Christ.

Rhema, from the Greek, means the spoken Word of God. https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/what-isthe-rhema-word.html 1

Trisagion meaning 'thrice holy' - https://www. umcdiscipleship.org/resources/history-of-hymnsholy-holy-holy-lord-god-almighty

2

June 2023 Methodist Message 31

Eternal Peace GARDEN OF

THE AIR-CONDITIONED COLUMBARIUM Open daily: 8am-8pm | Public Holidays: 9am-2pm

• • • •

Lo c ated n ext to Commonwea l t h M RT S t a t ion 9 9 -year l ease commencing from 19 64 C l ean an d p eacefu l environment Tran sfer o f urns or exhu ma t ion ca n be a rra nge d

OPEN TO ALL CHRISTIANS Single and double niches are available with the following donations:

REGISTER AT OUR COLUMBARIUM OFFICE 400 Commonwealth Drive Faith Methodist Church Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church (Level 5)

TIERS

SINGLE

DOUBLE

Open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays)

1 or 7

$2400

$4200

2 or 6

$3100

$5800

Tel : 6479 8122 | HP : 9670 9935 Fax: 6479 6960 Email: gepc400@gmail.com

3 to 5

$4000

$7200

For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.

Chris Chow worships at Barker Road Methodist Church and is the chairperson of Epworth Community Services. / Photo courtesy of Chris Chow

Helping the forgotten, unloved and despised "What does it mean to be a Methodist?" Even though I was privileged to attend a Methodist school and church for the better part of my life, I was always challenged to provide a satisfactory answer to this question.

To address my frustration, I decided to find out more. Some distinctive beliefs that define Methodists include being "born again", that salvation is available to all, and an emphasis on the ideals of the social gospel, amongst other things.

Then it struck me that I was taught all these things in Sunday school or during the sermons that were preached in church. That was my "aha" moment—I had heard, but failed to listen.

Of all these teachings, putting our beliefs into action by ministering to those facing social challenges in life is probably the most important to me. One of my favourite

(left to right) Chris Chow with his sons, Jonathan, Nathan, and wife, Cynthia

verses is James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Let us not forget to minister to those who, in the eyes of our society, are forgotten, unloved, and despised. Invest your time, be a good steward and bless them with your resources, so that they too will have the opportunity to be touched by God's love through you.

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

June 2023 Methodist Message 33

COLOURS OF THE BIBLE 2023 ART COMPETITION Online submission by 23 June (Friday) 7 Armenian Street, Bible House, S179932 Details and registration via http://coloursofthebible.org/competition/ Colours of the Bible is an annual art competition and exhibition co-organised by the Bible Society of Singapore and Embassy of Israel in Singapore. The Bible is full of stories about how our Heavenly Father cares for the little ones!

How does God's love for children speak to you? The Colours of the Bible Art Competition celebrates its 10th year and this year's theme is "God's Love for Children in the Bible".

Express your creativity through various art forms—digital art, paintings, craft and textiles, even calligraphy—to bring this theme to life! There are also devotionals, interviews and workshops to look forward to in the months ahead.

Jointly organised by The Bible Society of Singapore and Embassy of Israel in Singapore

MINISTRY TO CHILDREN: HELPING CHILDREN TO LOVE GOD AND LOVE OTHERS 10 July–21 August (Mondays), 7.30–9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom Register before 3 July via https://ttc.edu.sg/english/study-at-ttc/equip-registration Registration required; fees may apply This course will equip lay Christians with biblical foundations as well as knowledge of processes and strategies to minister to children, including children with diverse educational needs. Participants will draw on principles and practices from Scripture and developmental psychology to establish a coherent and integrated philosophy of ministry to children. In addition, participants will learn how to leverage teaching and learning resources to help children build an authentic relationship with Jesus, discover and cultivate spiritual gifts, and be released for ministry to serve God with the power of the Holy Spirit.

Dr Morgan Zhou holds a doctorate in educational leadership from the National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technological University. He has worked as a former vice-principal and teaching fellow at NIE. Morgan has served in The Boys' Brigade and Children's Ministry in his church and currently chairs the Board of Children's Ministry in the Trinity Annual Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore. He is passionate about mentoring, outreach to disadvantaged families, and keenly interested in strengthening the education of children and youth with diverse abilities and special needs.

Organised by EQUIP

GLOBAL CHINESE ALPHA CONFERENCE 2023 12–13 July Bethesda (Bedok-Tampines) Church, 300 Bedok North Ave 3, S469717 Register before 30 June via asiapacific.alpha.org/gcac (Chinese) or asiapacific.alpha.org/gcac23-en (English) $100 per person, or $80 per person for a group registration of 5 and above When talking about revival, we cannot ignore the largest ethnic group in the world with 1.5 billion people. The Global Chinese Alpha Conference is a gathering of pastors and leaders in unity—to be inspired, equipped and empowered to reach the Chinese communities globally. Join us to learn, network and dream God's dream for global mission amongst the Chinese.

Organised by Alpha Singapore