Methodist Message: August 2023

Yong-en Care Centre: Of good friends, teachers and church buildings The Church's role in being salt and light in the world Vol 125 No 8 AUGUST 2023

Hospitality as justice:

Addressing

homelessness

ISSN 0129-6868 MCI (P) 031/11/2022

in Singapore

Contents

Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications

/ Bishop’s Message /

Communications Manager Lynn Tan

/ News /

Managing Editor

3 Range of subjects, diverse community,

Alvin Tay

Editor Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

caring and professional faculty, among reasons why students choose TTC

Kathrynn Koh

/ Feature /

Sub-editors

6 Yong-en Care Centre:

Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai Elliot Soh

Of good friends, teachers and church buildings

Proofreaders Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan

/ Opinion / 10 Young Voices: Hospitality as justice—

Addressing homelessness in Singapore 14 Soundings: The Church's role in being salt and light in the world

/ Outreach / 16 Seeing poverty in Singapore through a new lens The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936

20 Community work and Christian missions

/ Relationships / 23 At The Well 28 You and Your Family: Mixed doubles

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communications@methodist.org.sg Layout by Londonbob Design Printed by Adred Creation Print Pte Ltd

/ Worship / 31 Inclusive worship

/ People / 33 Are we doing enough to work together?

Act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Editorial credit: Hit1912 / Shutterstock.com

Micah 6:8 (NIV)

G

od's commission in Micah 6:8 is especially

prayer, fasting and Christian worship. "Works

relevant in at least two ways this month.

of mercy" referred to acts of charity and compassion for the distressed in society.

Firstly, Singapore celebrates her National Day, and the call in Micah 6:8 is addressed, not

Such "works of mercy" or social concerns are

only to "Christians", and not only to "men",

in line with Micah's call to act justly and love

but to all human beings. The rendering "O

mercy as part of a disciple's walk with God.

mortal" in NIV's 2011 edition helps to clarify

John Wesley regarded "works of mercy" as

the Hebrew word used here for "humanity"

the most important mark or characteristic of

(in contrast to many English translations

true godliness. Whilst "works of piety" were

which use "O man"). The call to act justly, to

important, Wesley said that godly persons

love mercy and to walk humbly goes out from

should be "more zealous for works of mercy".

God to all human beings in every nation, and

And, should there be occasion where "one

not least to our nation also.

interferes with the other, works of mercy are to be preferred. Even reading, hearing, prayer

Secondly, we are "a people called

are to be omitted, or to be postponed, at

Methodists", and Micah 6:8 emphasises

charity's almighty call; when we are called to

what Methodism's founder John Wesley also

relieve the distress of our neighbour, whether

stressed. In a sermon On Zeal, Wesley said

in body or soul." 1

that Christian disciples ought to be zealous in doing both "works of piety" and "works of

May all human beings and Methodists in

mercy". By "works of piety", Wesley meant

Singapore be zealous to act justly, to love

the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading,

mercy and to walk humbly with God.

1

http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-sermons-of-john-wesley-1872-edition/sermon-92-on-zeal/ August 2023 Methodist Message 1

Coming up

2 Methodist Message August 2023

News

By Trinity Theological College Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of TTC

Range of subjects, diverse community, caring and professional faculty, among reasons

why students choose TTC

A

s the oldest seminary in Singapore,

Lutheran Church in Singapore.

Trinity Theological College (TTC)

has been equipping Christians for

This August, TTC will conduct its annual

ministr y since its founding in 1948.

Open House, and welcomes anyone who

T TC celebrates its 75th anniversar y this

might want to be trained as a full-time

year with the theme "Changing World,

pastor, missionary or para-church worker.

Unchanging Light".

Members of the laity who want to be equipped to serve their churches better

As a union college, TTC is an extension of

and to become more effective witnesses

the ministry of four Governing Churches

for Christ through their vocations in

of different denominations, namely

society are also welcome.

The Anglican Diocese of Singapore, The Methodist Church in Singapore, The

Past and present students of TTC share

Presbyterian Church in Singapore and the

about their experience at this seminary.

My first year of studies in TTC has been one of the most enriching periods in my Christian walk.

TTC has provided the time and space to fully immerse myself in the pursuit of "faith seeking understanding". Together with my fellow classmates, I grapple with what has been taught and learn how to apply the lessons to many areas of life and ministry.

The teachings and guidance by our lecturers have played a key role in deepening my understanding of God. The learning doesn't stop there. It goes beyond the confines of the classroom—

genuine concern for my well-being, going

even the moments when we walk to the

the extra mile to address my concerns and

dining hall or library, or hang out in the

challenges in ministry and even in my

lounge or hostels, our discussions and

personal life, while my friends provide

learning continue.

an invaluable source of support and encouragement.

While challenging at first, I've learnt to enjoy the journey with my lecturers and classmates—my lecturers demonstrate

Benjamin Huang Second year Master of Divinity student

August 2023 Methodist Message 3

Range of subjects, diverse community, caring and professional faculty, among reasons why students choose TTC

Why study in TTC? One reason would be the range of academic subjects taught: from Church History to Christian Ethics, from biblical languages to Field Education. These provide a comprehensive foundation that equips one for ministry or research.

Another reason would be the teachers in TTC. They are more than repositories of knowledge and wisdom; they are mentors who model what it means to be pastoral.

Finally, it is the community. Because TTC is a union college, you get an opportunity to interact and learn from believers of different Christian traditions.

I would liken studying in TTC to wading into a stream that opens to the vast sea of scholarship. The stream will refresh spiritually; the sea will sometimes overwhelm.

But ultimately it is an invitation to grow, academically and experientially, in understanding the depth and the richness of the truth and grace of God in Jesus Christ.

Khaw Siew Ping Third year Doctor of Theology student

What has been transformative for me during my study at TTC was writing a Master of Theology (MTh) thesis on the psalms of vengeance. The research on Old Testament theologies as a possible lens for reading curses in some psalms has helped me to see God in a new light and deepened my trust in God's promise of justice in the world.

I greatly valued the learning experience at TTC in many ways. The faculty and staff at TTC are caring, professional and highly proficient in their fields of expertise. What makes them different from others is the level of interest they take in their students, the quality time they spend with them and the depth of academic training they provide throughout the learning process.

The supervision and academic training I received through the MTh programme have helped to strengthen my research competencies and critical thinking skills.

The positive atmosphere at TTC is very conducive for spiritual formation as well as doing research work.

Sim Joo Yee Master of Theology (2023) First year Doctor of Theology student

4 Methodist Message August 2023

My time at TTC was very formative and foundational in my journey as a Christian minister. In particular, God used TTC to provide me with a solid biblical and theological foundation. The fact that I had the opportunity to study two biblical languages was a huge blessing. This gave me the capacity to do deeper exegetical study when preparing to preach and teach in church.

The three semesters of theological classes have also given me a grounding in the theological core of the Christian faith, for example, in my understanding of the Trinity. This has proved invaluable as I pastor the congregation, especially the young adults who are eager to know the theological anchors of their faith.

Apart from training the mind, TTC also trained my heart and hands by giving me opportunities to grow in practical ministry. The field education and pastoral praxis classes were especially useful to this end. All in all, my period of study in TTC was God's gift to me for my formation and transformation—as a servant of the living God.

Benjamin Sun

CONSIDERING A THEOLOGICAL EDUCATION? Do you desire to be equipped to serve God more effectively in the church and marketplace?

Is God calling you to be theologically trained for ministry?

Come to the TTC Open House 2023 for lectures, and worship at the chapel. Dine with the community, tour the campus, and interact with the faculty and students.

Master of Divinity (2022) Ministry Staff Covenant Evangelical Free Church

23 Aug (Wed) 2023 8.30 a.m. – 2.00 p.m.

Trinity Theological College Registration is required.

Please register by 20 Aug (Sun) 2023 at

ttc.edu.sg/english/ OpenHouse2023 or via QR code

August 2023 Methodist Message 5

Feature

Kate Lim works as a speech therapist and worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Yong-en Care Centre and Kate Lim

Yong-en Care Centre: Of good friends, teachers and church buildings

W

hen Yong-en Care Centre was set up in 1996, it served the flats around Chin Swee Road, Jalan Kukoh, Everton Park and Kreta Ayer Road. These were residential sites that typically had more elderly residents, and the majority of Yongen's activities revolved around assisting people in this age group.

The Centre, a community service supported by Fairfield Methodist Church (FFMC), was started and registered as a society in 1996, and then as a secular charity in 1997. It was awarded Institution of Public Character (IPC) status in 2001, and is now an established care and family support provider located in Chinatown.

Yong-en Care Centre: How it began After Fairfield Methodist Church (FFMC) moved to Tanjong Pagar Road in 1986, some church members began befriending older residents at Block 5 Banda Street in Chinatown. They visited regularly, offering simple health or nursing care, friendship and advice. Others offered free tuition to students.

When the late Rev Dr Clarence Lim returned to FFMC as interim Pastor-in-Charge in 1996, he set the wheels in motion to formalise the work in serving Chinatown, known today as Yong-en Care Centre. The centre initially operated on church premises, and moved to Smith Street in 2000 with the firm support

However, the profile of the residents is no longer dominated by seniors now, and Yong-en's programmes have evolved accordingly.

6 Methodist Message August 2023

of former Finance Minister, Dr Richard Hu.

A skating holiday programme which involved Yong-en's corporate volunteers

The tuition ministry is run by paid tutors and volunteers

Beyond eldercare After launching a Dementia Day Care service in 2002, Yong-en Care Centre has since adapted and broadened its range of services to provide more family-centred help for different age groups. They now provide a holistic range of programmes in home care, case management, financial assistance, educational support for children, and even youth mental health wellness and weekly youth drop-in sessions.

Gracie Ngoi, Manager (Community Relations) at Yong-en explains, "The profile of the rental flat dwellers has changed over the years. To cater to the needs of the community now, we provide holistic care, going beyond our initial core work of eldercare, such as free tuition. Our annual education awards are ways to encourage our children, and help them reach their fullest potential."

The profile of the residents now includes transnational families. The problems that arise grow more complex when they become single-parent families due to family conflicts, the incarceration or death of one parent, or absence of a spouse.

Consequently, understanding the unique family situations and needs of the individuals involved becomes a significant part of Yong-en's work.

"Many of the children and youths from these families do not receive adequate support from their families. It is Yongen's mission to demonstrate care through giving guidance, and mould them into confident, self-sufficient and productive adults. We do so via educational support and youth personal development programmes," explains Brendon Chua, Programme Executive (Children and Youth Team).

Children who are preparing for critical exams, such as PSLE, and lack support at home, receive help from Yong-en.

Every week, 15 volunteer tutors and five paid tutors provide English and Math tuition. The free tuition classes are held at FFMC's premises, with about 40 students between the ages of 10 and 16 in attendance.

A former beneficiary of Yong-en's tuition programme is Ling Wen Jian, who returned in 2021 to volunteer as the tuition programme coordinator at Yong-en.

The 26-year-old software engineer says, "This was the only tuition I had access to when I was a student. I am very grateful to have been tutored by a generous and knowledgeable teacher who always shared Math Olympiad articles with me.

He helped to strengthen my love for, and develop my potential in, Math."

August 2023 Methodist Message 7

Yong-en Care Centre: Of good friends, teachers and church buildings

Like big brothers and sisters Small group tuition sessions also ensure each child receives attention and support beyond their academic needs. Wen Jian says that the children see the tutors as more than just their teachers. "We're like their big brothers or sisters. They remember our names, even after we have stopped teaching them for a long time."

Siblings Det Lam*, 15, and Viv Lam*, 16, have been attending the tuition programme since they were in kindergarten. They share how Yong-en has made an impact in their lives.

Viv recalls, "The concern that the youth workers and teachers have for us, and their dedication to support our learning, keeps us coming every Saturday morning, even though weekends are very precious for sleeping in."

"We remember very fondly the times we went for horse-riding and laser tag during the school holidays. We feel motivated to learn with our friends and teachers here.

We are so thankful to them for believing in us and helping us to improve in our schoolwork," said Det. Another beneficiary, Siti*, 13, who is Indonesian, has been attending the weekly tuition programme and youth drop-in sessions. She says, "The teachers are very understanding and patient. They never give up on me, trying many ways to help me understand difficult concepts."

Such human connections and relationshipbuilding can make a huge difference in the lives of these children and youths.

Siti's brother, Aqil*, 14, looks forward to the weekly sports activities. He says, "Being with the staff at the Centre beats being at home and playing games on my handphone. Here, the mentors take time to understand me, speak my language, listen to me. They feel like good friends to me."

"I am thankful to the centre staff for these activities. They help me learn new skills and hobbies like basketball. I also learn that I can be good at something," agrees Siti.

"I feel very happy to learn from the teachers here. I hope to become a writer one day. Here is my first picture story of good friends, teachers and the church building!" Aishah*, 10, who receives weekly English tuition.

8 Methodist Message August 2023

(left) A volunteer from NUS helps out during the school holiday programme (middle) Yongen's tuition students are taught in small groups (right) Aishah's picture story

More after-school activities for youth

The new youth dropin centre at Jalan Kukoh—a pilot project in collaboration with Ministry of Social and Family Development— started operations in the 3rd quarter of this year

Many of the children and youths may not have opportunities to participate in after-school activities due to financial constraints. They are also at critical growth phases in their lives and have developmental and emotional needs, which might not be adequately met by their parents due to irregular work schedules.

Brendon says, "We are excited to extend our activities to the youths. At our weekly youth drop-in sessions at the Centre's premises on Smith Street and its surrounds, we hope to provide an avenue for them to engage in meaningful activities after school. We want to provide a safe space for them to connect with supportive mentors, to realise their potential, discover their unique strengths, and become youth leaders who can guide their peers and younger siblings, and contribute back to their respective communities."

Wen Jian agrees that relationships are key to what Yong-en offers, beyond academic support. "As a volunteer at Yong-en, I hope that the children can be like me too, to have the chance to build a stronger academic foundation, have someone to ask when they have difficulties with their school work, someone to share their happy moments with, and someone to talk to."

The team at

Yong-en Care Centre (Children and Youth Programmes) welcomes more people to join them in their mission. More tutors, befrienders and mentors for the children and youths are needed.

Email mail@yong-en.org.sg or contact the team at 62251002.

Visit www.yong-en.org.sg and @yongencarecentre on Instagram for more information and updates.

*Not his/her real name

August 2023 Methodist Message 9

Young Voices (left) Jonathan Chan is a writer and editor. He is the author of the poetry collection going home (Landmark, 2022). He serves as a worship leader in the Main and Korean-English services of Covenant Community Methodist Church (CCMC) and as Director of the CCMC Gospel Choir. He previously interned at HealthServe and Tamar Village and volunteered at the Open Home Network and Cambridge Cyrenians. More of his writing can be found at jonbcy.wordpress.com.

(right) Tan Jing Min is a public servant and writer.

She worships at Wesley Methodist Church. She has served with the Covid Migrant Support Coalition and Prison Fellowship Singapore. Her writings can be found on thir.st, ETHOS Institute and Rice Media.

Hospitality as justice Addressing homelessness in Singapore "People don't become homeless because they run out of cash ... they become homeless because they run out of relationships."

Source: Shutterstock

Abraham Yeo, Co-Founder, Homeless Hearts of Singapore

I

n the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public

years or more for a third of respondents.

Policy's (LKYSPP) inaugural street count

Their relative obscurity has relegated

of homeless people in Singapore in 2019,

Singapore's homeless population to the

it revealed between 921 and 1,050 street

periphery of public attention, especially

homeless across the island. They were

given the pride Singapore takes in its

observed to reside primarily in larger

housing policy and home ownership levels.

1

and older housing estates and estates with more rental flats. Most were older,

The LKYSPP outlines three types of

single Singaporean Chinese men of low

homelessness: primary or absolute

education, with homelessness commonly

homelessness, i.e. those who do not have

attributed to economic, family and health

accommodation and sleep in public spaces;

problems. Chronic homelessness lasts six

secondary homelessness, i.e. those who

10 Methodist Message August 2023

stay in temporary, crisis or transitional accommodation; and relative or tertiary homelessness, i.e. those who are at risk of

"For I was hungry and you gave me no food,

homelessness, such as through eviction,

I was thirsty and you gave me

or in overcrowded or hostile conditions.

no drink, ... Then they also will

Homelessness is not merely being without accommodation, but extends to

answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we

any situation of residential precarity or

see you hungry or thirsty or

instability. (The term "rough sleeping" is

a stranger or naked or sick

often used in Singapore.)

The LKYSPP's second count in 2022 saw the number of street homeless dropping to 616 by 2021. 2 However, this saw a

or in prison, and did not minister to you?'"

Matthew 25:42, 44

concurrent increase in occupancy in temporary shelters, from 52 to 420. This

The justification behind this

iteration identified three distinct groups:

inheritance is articulated clearly. The

the long-term homeless sleeping rough

logic here is not transactional: the

prior to the pandemic, the newly homeless

inheritance of God is not a reward

seeking housing support because of the

for hospitality. Rather, it inheres in

pandemic, and those temporarily rendered

the notion of imago Dei, where each

homeless by the closure of borders,

person bears the undeniable imprint

mostly from Malaysia and Indonesia. The

and likeness of God and is to be loved

pandemic catalysed housing insecurity,

in the same way he loves us. God

exacerbating familial divisions, precarious

accords particular attention to the

employment, and deficiencies in the public

marginalised and the poor, especially

rental housing scheme. Such examples

those with some form of material

are a jarring demonstration of the

lack: a lack of food, shelter, clothing,

wealth inequality that has predominated

healthcare or companionship.

Singapore in the last 20 years. The influx of

Tending to immediate, physical needs

high-net-worth individuals into Singapore,

is a tangible expression of the love of

as well as the palatial homes occupied by

God. Care for the soul and the body

Singapore's wealthiest, make the existence

are entwined.

of homelessness all the more galling.

Homelessness has deleterious effects A response to homelessness can be found

across various dimensions of health:

in the Gospel of Matthew. Addressing his

physical, emotional and mental. To

disciples, Jesus speaks of eschatology, of

accord hospitality to a stranger is

the moment of his return, of the "Son of

an outworking of an understanding

Man [coming] in glory" to be seated on

of God's love and his shalom, a

his throne. It is then that he will offer his

connection of the excluded individual

inheritance to those blessed by the Father:

to a collective. Theologian Henri

the kingdom prepared for them since

Nouwen writes that hospitality is not

the world's creation. In Matthew 25, Jesus

about effecting change in people, but

describes the behaviour of those who are

rather about lavishly providing space

denied this inheritance:

where such change can occur.

August 2023 Methodist Message 11

Hospitality as justice: Addressing homelessness in Singapore

Real hospitality is meant to have a

S3P. SowCare, the charity arm of the

freeing, rather than constricting effect

Bible Society of Singapore, set up a

upon others. This balance between

temporary shelter for rough sleepers

receptivity and confrontation

at the Bible House. Similarly, Yio

reminds us that hospitality is a

Chu Kang Chapel opened its doors

reciprocal dynamic: just as the

as a night shelter in November 2019,

ministry of presence is vital, tending

providing beds, pillows, blankets,

to the needs of a guest, so too is the

refreshments, heated showers,

ministry of absence—holding space

washing machines, dryers and Wi-Fi

for individuals to flourish.

for the stayers free of charge.

The realisation of justice for the

The provision of a home, rather than

homeless requires not only short-

an alternative shelter, is an approach

term solutions such as temporary

shared by the Open Home Network

housing, food and clothing, but also

(OHN), an initiative of community-

long-term solutions and initiatives

based management consultancy

that allow for the changing of

Solve n+1. The OHN sees staying with

convictions and the imagining of

host families as a more viable way of

pathways forward. For example,

helping those in crisis. The network

Homeless Hearts of Singapore

has designed a system to match

(HHOS) aspires to help the homeless

people-in-crisis, including those

reintegrate into the community

who sleep in public spaces, reside in

via temporary aid, advocacy, and

shelters, live in overcrowded homes,

local partnerships. Part of this

face domestic violence or lack social

involves inspiring volunteers to

support, with host families. Beyond

befriend the homeless in their

simply having a roof over their heads,

own neighbourhoods, enabling a

persons-in-crisis are also then given

longer-term vision of full community

time, stability, space and community

support for reintegration. Many of

that may help create bridges for them

the homeless that HHOS serves

towards reconciliation with their

align with the primary demographic

families or independence.

identified by the street count—older Singaporean men.

Other initiatives have emerged to provide this ministry of shelter to the marginalised from other demographics. Hope Initiative Alliance, an inter-religious group of social service organisations, civil groups and corporations, launched the Safe Sound Sleeping Places (S3P) initiative amidst the height of the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020.

The missional call has been made manifest in the way Christian organisations have responded to

12 Methodist Message August 2023

OHN's volunteers engaging with residents of Jalan Kukoh to better understand the community, its views on relationships, and interests to host or volunteer to support personsin-crisis / Image courtesy of Solve n+1

cash, but they become homeless because they run out of relationships."

May these examples of radical hospitality move us to action: through church, individual, or self-initiated collectives, we can identify if there are homeless individuals within our vicinities, build relationships with them, and see how best they can be supported. In doing so, we may more fully embrace and fulfil the vision described by Jesus:

Volunteers gathering to prepare before engaging with the Jalan Kukoh community, where the current OHN 2.0 pilot is based / Image courtesy of Solve n+1

There are many other organisations undertaking important work in providing homes, such as Humanitarian Organization for Migration Economics' (HOME) shelter

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.

Matthew 25:40 (NIV)

for female migrant workers or Tamar Village's efforts to help former sex Fundamentally, these initiatives share

Methodist churches' responses to homelessness

an understanding that being housed,

During the first Covid-19 circuit breaker

and placed in a home, is crucial for

in 2020, Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church,

the mental, physical and emotional

Ang Mo Kio Chinese Methodist Church

well-being as individuals, which

and Ang Mo Kio Tamil Methodist

cuts across age, gender, ethnic and

Church put their premises to good use

socioeconomic lines.

by registering as Safe Sound Sleeping

workers move into their own homes.

Places (S3Ps) with the Ministry of Social How can the church fully embrace the

and Family Development (MSF), so

call to love and welcome the stranger,

that they could provide shelter to the

as so beautifully articulated by Jesus

homeless and displaced. Another joint

in the Gospel of Matthew? How can

initiative was between Faith Methodist

we see the achievement of safety and

Church and Queenstown Chinese

peace for the marginalised as being

Methodist Church, which opened their

part of the pursuit of God's justice?

shared premises to female stayers.

Each Methodist church is situated in a unique neighbourhood. Many of our

Toa Payoh Methodist Church's (TPMC) S3P

churches may already have ongoing

started before the pandemic, and continues

initiatives or partnerships to love the

today. Its Rough Sleepers Ministry volunteers

homeless. Abraham Yeo of HHOS

regularly go out to Toa Payoh Central to

suggests that, "People don't become

reach out to, and befriend, rough sleepers.

homeless because they run out of 1

https://lkyspp.nus.edu.sg/research/social-inclusion-project/homelessness-street-count/key-findings

2

Ibid.

August 2023 Methodist Message 13

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

The Church's Role IN BEING

I N T H E WO R L D

I

n his great Sermon on the Mount, Jesus

nourishing, and illuminating—in a word,

uses two metaphors to describe his

life-giving. Put differently, the Church's

Church: salt and light (Mt 5:13–16).

being in the world must be truly sacramental: it must be the means by

"You are the salt of the earth," he insists.

which the love, mercy and grace of God is

"[B]ut if salt has lost its taste, how shall its

made manifest and real.

saltiness be restored?"

The Church can only be present in the "You are the light of the world," he adds.

way that radiates the divine grace and

"In the same way, let your light shine

love when it intentionally and sacrificially

before others, so that they may see your

serves the community. The Church is

good works and give glory to your Father

indeed called to such a service when she

who is in heaven."

is tasked to proclaim the gospel not just with her words, but also with her works.

These two metaphors suggest that God's people must be present in the world

In fulfilling this task, the Church is merely

in a certain way. They suggest that the

imitating her Lord (imitatio Christi), who

Church's presence in the world must bring

in the incarnation, "emptied himself, by

something that is absent—it must supply

taking the form of a servant" (Phil 2:7).

what the world lacks.

In her "incarnational" presence in the community, the Church seeks to follow

More specifically, "salt" and "light"

the example of Christ who "came not to

suggest that the Church's presence

be served but to serve, and to give his life

in the world should be enriching,

as a ransom for many" (Mt 20:28).

14 Methodist Message August 2023

To truly serve the community, the Church

there is no male and female" (Gal 3:28).

cannot stand aloof from the complex confluence of aspirations and challenges

In her service to the community, the

that characterise its common life. She

Church must address the injustices

must be energetically invested and

perpetrated by the rich and powerful

engaged in the community of which she

against the weak and the marginalised.

is a part even as she carefully discerns

The Church must also speak out against

the needs of its members and the forces

the oppressive structures that are

that are at work.

responsible for the violation of the dignity and rights of the vulnerable and voiceless

In a world marked by divisiveness and

members of society.

toxic rivalry, the Church can be a catalyst for enhancing solidarity and constructive

The Church does this not because it seeks

collaboration, which build relationships of

to take the place of the State, or to be

trust and invigorate civil society. To this

engaged in party politics, or because

end, the Church must work collaboratively

she is anxious to establish her status in

with other actors (religious as well as

society. The Church has no interest in

secular) in the service of the common

such things. She challenges injustice and

good.

oppression because she wishes to restore the dignity of victims who are made in

In order for the Church to serve the

God's image and valued by their Creator.

community, she must always be mindful of its weak and vulnerable members

In her service to the community, the

and stand in solidarity with them. Such

Church seeks only to obey the command

solidarity with and service to the needy

that she received from her Lord to "love

was modelled powerfully by the early

your neighbour" (Mk 12:30–31). She knows

Christians who refused to abandon

that this unconditional love that she

the sick and the dying during times of

is commanded by God to show to the

epidemics, but stayed and cared for them.

neighbour—which includes even the enemy (Mt 5:43–45)—is the true evidence

Not only must the Church stand in

of her love for God (1 Jn 4:20).

solidarity with the weak and those in need, she must also empower them. She

Finally, the Church's service to the

does this by eradicating those obstacles

community is not motivated by the

that prevent the weak and vulnerable

misplaced ambition to create an earthly

from participating more fully in society,

utopia. Rather, it is prompted and

and by creating opportunities for

energised by true Christian hope. It is her

participation.

trusting response to God's invitation to his promised future in which his justice,

The Church also serves the community by

love and shalom will prevail, and God will

exposing the dehumanising stratifications

be all in all (1 Cor 15:28).

in society that breed discrimination and exclusion. She does this firstly by removing social segregations within her own communal life and by embodying the truth that in Christ "there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free,

August 2023 Methodist Message 15

By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services

poverty

Seeing in Singapore through a new lens I

n affluent Singapore where we rarely

Natalie's and Deborah's situations say

see beggars or the homeless, few would

nothing of their financial circumstances.

imagine that the issue of poverty is worth a

But the brokenness in emotional, mental

conversation.

and relational well-being—was palpable.

But is that because of how we see poverty?

Widening the definition of poverty is necessary in order to address the whole person.

At the tender age of 11, Natalie* lost her father, who was her confidante and best

Poverty is complex

friend. For years, she could not process

We would never want to diminish the

the grief and ended up mixing with bad

realities or struggles of those experiencing

company and eventually lost interest in

poverty by trying to package it in a simplistic

her studies. At 15, she was referred to MWS

way. It is a complex topic and numerous

Girls' Residence.

experts have spilled much ink on it.

Deborah's husband was a proud man and he

For many, "poverty" may conjure images

was temperamental towards her. When he

of starving children with flies swarming

fell ill, she struggled emotionally to dedicate

their faces. Many of us may also think that

herself to his care. Due to past hurts, she

poverty is the state of a group of people,

harboured deep hatred towards him.

whom we may refer to as "the poor".

16 Methodist Message August 2023

(left) MWS Girlsʼ Residence provides 24/7 care in a safe and nurturing environment for girls aged 15 to 21 years old, who are at risk (right) MWS employs a trauma-informed approach for families experiencing multiple complex challenges such as domestic strife, incarceration and chronic illness

The problem with this understanding is that

"We think sometimes that poverty is only

it divides. By its nature, the label separates

being hungry, naked, and homeless.

people into hierarchical groups where "the poor" is framed as helpless individuals

The poverty of being unwanted,

whom society deems inept and in need of

unloved, and uncared for is the greatest

whatever we have, for which we decide.

poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty."

Mother Teresa

A Christian perspective Corbett and Fikkert note in their book When Helping Hurts that "poverty is the absence of shalom (peace)". It is the result of relationships—with God, self, others and the rest of creation—that do not work. By this definition we are all susceptible to poverty, and that levels the playing field.

Founded in 1981, Methodist Welfare Services (MWS) is a Christian non-profit organisation that serves people across all ethnicities and

Poverty is not just about financials

religions. Today, we serve over 9,000 families

Another common perception is that

and individuals who are experiencing

poverty is a situation of dire financial

different forms of poverty—including

constraint or lack of material resources.

children from disadvantaged backgrounds

But poverty is not just about money. An

and youths at risk; seniors battling chronic

individual who lacks fulfilment of any deep

illness or social isolation; and families

need or faces impoverishment in any facet

troubled by fractured relationships, financial

of their well-being is in fact experiencing

woes and other forms of distress.

poverty in that area.

But more than social service and healthcare, For instance, many children from

our work is really a mission to alleviate

disadvantaged backgrounds or youths at

all kinds of poverty, to ignite God-given

risk may experience a poverty of love, self-

dignity into the hearts of all who experience

belief or hope.

poverty, by empowering them—us—to be who God has created us to be.

Among those who are socially isolated or battling chronic illness, many experience

Matthew 2:3-4 (NIV) says, "Truly I tell you,

poverty of physical health, as well as

whatever you did for one of the least of

crippling mental and emotional anguish.

these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." At the heart of Jesus' words is that

Similarly, families who are struggling

people are created in God's image. The call

with debt and financial distress may not

to alleviate poverty is compelling because

only face monetary constraint, but also

every person bears his likeness, regardless

marginalisation and a poverty of choice or

of their ethnicity, religion, economic status

even identity, as if they do not exist.

or social standing. Our Christian response to

August 2023 Methodist Message 17

14

METHODIST MESSAGE, JULY 2013

Seeing poverty in Singapore through a new lens

poverty thereby recognises the dignity and

enjoy appropriate autonomy and curated

value of the person, and our goal is to see

activities from urban farming to purposeful

the person flourish.

voluntary work in-house that makes for a vibrant and more dignified life.

Because we believe that every person is made in God's image, every person has God-

A transformative approach

given potential. John 10:10 (NIV) tells us that

At MWS Girls' Residence, Natalie enjoyed a

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and

safe environment and learnt to handle her

destroy; I have come that they may have

anxiety and grief. After getting her N-Level

life, and have it to the full." The ability to live

certificate, she is today working in a local

life to the fullest honours the dignity that

nursing home.

God has given us.

As for Deborah, her husband was

A response that honours

subsequently referred to MWS Home Care

These perspectives have a direct impact on

& Home Hospice. The team not only guided

MWS' way of care.

her on caring for her husband physically, they were a huge source of emotional

Firstly, instead of trying to "rescue" people

support. Over time, he became gentler and

from their despair, we aim for a more

more loving, and even asked to be baptised.

empowering approach. What this looks

The couple eventually reconciled before he

like is togetherness, walking alongside

passed on peacefully.

those experiencing poverty with them in the driving seat. Hence, no matter how

Natalie's transformation was more than

tempting it is to push through case plans so

the outcome of therapy and rehabilitation.

as to see clients' situations improve rapidly,

The change in Deborah and her late

our social workers are mindful of moving at

husband's situation was more than just

clients' pace and carefully considering their

responses to medical aid and counselling.

experiences, hopes and strengths.

These are the results of restoration and growth towards God-given potential.

Secondly, we seek holistic transformation by addressing the whole person. For instance, at MWS nursing homes, residents

This article was first published on MWS' website. *Not her real name

We love because God first loved us. We care because he loves all.

We act because he has placed in our hearts a passion for these issues, such that we run towards all who face poverty, not as saviours but as those who have been saved.

Visit mws.sg today and we welcome you to come alongside and support those we care about.

August 2023 Methodist Message 19

Prof Dennis Lee serves as Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building, at Methodist Missions Society. He was a Visiting Professor with Copenhagen Business School, a Fellow with Singapore University of Social Sciences, and an alumnus of Regent College (MTS '88 & MDiv '89). He worships at Kum Yan Methodist Church.

Community work and Christian missions

C

ommunity work is a concept that we are not unfamiliar with, be it schoolbased community service projects or volunteering in our spare time. In this article, the theological underpinnings of Christian and church-based community work will be discussed.

•

Types of community work Firstly, what is community work?

Here are four different, if somewhat overlapping, types of community work in churches, some of which you might have participated in yourself.

A new profession of community work has emerged, complete with training courses, qualifications, and recognised salary scales.

Some churches have been able to get grants and funding to employ community workers to strengthen their missions.

•

•

Community service

Some churches set up projects which help specific groups such as soup kitchens for the homeless and youth clubs. Church members may volunteer to participate, or provide the occasional prayer or gift.

20 Methodist Message August 2023

Christian advocacy

Christians have a duty to speak and act against social ills and unfair practices for those unable to fend for themselves, as we grapple with what it means to be salt and light (Mt 5:13-16).

•

Professional community development

A commune church

Churches of the New Testament were a mass movement of people in communes involved in the struggles of everyday life.

The concerns and work of the people, of the Christian community, and of God himself are one and the same.

Community work such as establishing schools, training projects for unemployed youth, and welfare projects for the elderly are now common. Its roots are in distinct minority (sub-)cultures and experiences of oppression or discrimination. Such indigenous-led (IPLC) 1 initiatives and the theological thinking behind them present a fascinating contrast and challenge to the community work of 21st-century urban churches.

Finally, the Holistic Mission view asserts that missions are broader than evangelism. Evangelism is viewed as an equal partner with social action as two sides of the same coin. Missions comprise all that God is doing through his church to bring about his Kingdom on earth.

Community development is an essential part of God’s mission, whereby the church promotes active citizenship to enable people to work together to improve

Integrating community work and missions

human circumstances for the well-

Sometimes, community work also takes us beyond Singapore’s shores. Missions involve sending individuals and groups across boundaries, most commonly geographical, to carry out evangelisation, church planting, and community work. If one of the objectives of missions is church planting—the building of a commune church—how can community work be integrated into our thinking and practice of holistic missions? Here are three different views we can consider.

engage in community work regardless of

being of their communities. 2 Christians whether it brings people into the church.

We should be willing to work alongside non-Christians on specific issues in the community, while not embracing nonChristian world views and lifestyles.

Now that we have a clearer understanding of the perspectives of community work, let’s explore some theological pointers related to Christian community work.

We can refer to Genesis 1:28 for the

Firstly, the Fundamentalist view perceives the world as intrinsically evil and sold under sin until Christ’s return.

Evangelism is seen as a rescue mission— to rescue as many souls as possible before they are lost eternally. Social action, other than minimal pastoral care for converts, is seen as a dangerous diversion from mission.

Creation Mandate. The starting point for any human involvement in God's work should begin with the doctrine of Creation.

In God’s creative order, human beings are stewards to care for and develop the resources of the earth. As imago Dei, 3 we share in his creativity, moral judgement, and provision for needs. Everyone has an equal claim to respect, dignity, a just share in resources which are available,

In the Church Growth view, it sees the

and a responsibility to contribute to the

primar y task of missions as the making

community and environment.

of disciples and the numerical expansion of the church. It acknowledges social

Therefore, Christians should work

action as a secondary concern. The

towards these ends and be willing to

tendency is to view community work as

work alongside all people on the basis of

bait for evangelistic "fishing". The church

common humanity alone. Part of the task

will gain credibility from its good works

is to enable people to see themselves as

and build relationships which will be

fully human, and not as powerless and

fruitful in making disciples. Community

dependent on other people. We also need

work is a social service which facilitates

to assess our community work practice

church planting.

in light of scripture and ensure that our

August 2023 Methodist Message 21

Community work and Christian missions

practice enables and empowers the kind of

Firstly, we need analysis—sociological,

community which God desires.

political, and theological—to understand why things are as they are and how

In Micah 6:8, Micah paints a picture of a

they ought to be. Secondly, we need our

just yet merciful God, and we his people

emotions as we respond to people in their

as his agents. God has shown us what

hurt, by aligning our feelings with God's

is good—the very words used in the

own heart. Thirdly, we need vision for

Creation narrative in Genesis 1:26-31. As his

how things should be in specific contexts,

regents in a world misguided by sin, the

and clarity so that we can set realistic,

Restoration Mandate calls on us to act

measurable, and achievable goals for our

justly, embrace his lovingkindness to reflect

community work.

his covenantal promise, and live humbly, aware of the abiding presence of God.

Finally, and most importantly, we need a Godly boldness that will enable us to work

Finally, Philippians 2:6-7 reminds us that

tirelessly, and to persevere in our missions

at the heart of the Christian faith is the

and ministry of reconciliation—reconciling

message of God with us—Jesus emptied

the fallen world to our Creator.

himself and took on the form of a servant, who although rich became poor for our sake. We are called to follow the example of Jesus, not claiming our own rights, but to take the role of servants. We need to be willing to wash one another ’s feet and not refrain from costly involvement in people's lives and struggles—not providing mere "first aid" activities but transformational changes. It is here we need the wisdom of God and not just the ideology of community work.

When engaging in community work, we need four things.

The term "Indigenous Peoples and local communities" and its acronym "IPLC" are widely used by international organizations and conventions to refer to individuals and groups who self-identify as indigenous or as members of distinct local communities. https://www.ipbes. net/glossary-tag/indigenous-peoples-and-localcommunities

1

2 Msebi, Mawethu, 2022. https://www.researchgate. net/publication/363905435_An_Analysis_of_the_ Role_of_the_Missional_Church_in_Community_ Development

Ref Gen 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

3

WE ARE HIRING!

PROPERTY MANAGER To apply and view other Employment Opportunities at MCS, visit

bit.ly/mcsjobs

Alternatively, send your resume to

hr@methodist.org.sg

Benny Bong has over 40

years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently

pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered

clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Dating & Marriage

Should I start a relationship with a non-Christian?

I am a Christian and wondering if I should start a relationship with a nonChristian. The guy is sincere and willing to try to go to church with me and know about Christ. What should I do? Jo

Benny says Dear Jo, If I assume that it is your hope this relationship will end in a lifelong marriage, then being with someone of the same faith becomes an important consideration.

This is because having a similar faith may mean that there are more similarities in ways of looking at the world, having common values and aspirations.

However, the key word there is "may".

Just because one is baptised or of the same denomination does not mean that you both will see eye to eye on every matter. It helps, but it is not a guarantee. What it should mean is that a Christian couple can have a similar foundation upon which to build a lifelong, satisfying relationship.

And when there are differences, they can perhaps have a better chance of resolving these amicably.

If your friend shows an interest in your faith, this is good, but it should be out of a genuine interest in what he sees is important to you. The testimony of your devotion to God should spark a desire in him to want to know more. Becoming a Christian should be because he has found the answer to life's deeper needs, and not just as a way of finding a life partner.

August 2023 Methodist Message 23

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP).

Senior Leadership Team

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Achievements include • Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP • 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years • Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

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Dating & Marriage

My wife and mother don't get along I have been married for less than two years. My wife and my mother don't get along. My mother thinks that my wife does not like her and is now threatening to cut off all ties with me so that I will not be stuck in the middle. My wife does not want to be too close to my mother. How do we strike a balance between leaving our parents after marriage and honouring them at the same time? I am really stuck and praying that God will bring peace to my family. Helpless

attend to mother's complaint about a leaky tap or respond to your wife's need to help her with her work—you will have to decide. A useful principle, and not the rule, to keep in mind is that the wife's interest often comes first. You can then attend to mother's needs later. The latter—"collectively"— means doing family activities together. If during these times, both women choose to sit apart, so be it. You cannot force them to come closer but you can provide opportunities for this. It is hoped that with time, both women will feel more assured of their standing with you and each other.

Benny says Dear Helpless, When trying to work out the redrawing of personal boundaries and loyalties, the biblical principle for newlywed couples is to "leave and cleave". This means, husbands and wives should re-evaluate which relationship is of primary importance, and do the necessary to leave old loyalties and make space for their spouses.

So much for the easy response. But what happens when the conflict between the two women does not make it easy for parties to renegotiate new roles? Perhaps your mother is worried of your wife's acceptance of her and your wife fears getting too close will result in more disappointment and conflict.

May I suggest two things that may help?

Firstly, let time do its job. Two years into a marriage is still very early days. New routines need to be worked out and any reassurance of devotion needs time and action to take effect.

The second and more important ingredient, is you. You need to work out your relationship with both women independently and collectively. The former is about how you, on a one-to-one basis, show your love and loyalty to each. Mother and wife need to know that they are each important. Not necessarily equally important but important when and where it counts. If and when there is a conflict of interest—for example, do you

Family

My parents treat the helper badly My elderly parents have unreasonably high expectations of domestic helpers.

When everyday things are not done their way, they get upset and raise their voices.

This causes a lot of tension at home.

Many helpers have come and gone, and I am afraid we will soon be barred by the Ministry of Manpower from hiring any more. How do I persuade my parents that they need a mindset change about helpers and to treat them kindly? Carol

Ai Jin says Dear Carol, This may require you to persevere in achieving clear communication between your parents and helper. It would be expedient to speak to each of your parents individually, enlisting their help to be willing to cooperate and work with you on this.

Often, it helps to provide a listening ear to simply acknowledge their frustrations.

August 2023 Methodist Message 25

At The Well

While detailed planning is not everyone's strong suit, most households benefit from having a timetable and comprehensive task lists drawn up at the beginning. Instructions written down succinctly gives clarity, provides order and consistency for everyone to agree and adhere to.

First, make a list of the helper's tasks, detailing the steps required of each task. Note your parent's expectations and translate that to simple instructions for your helper to follow.

Do state also the method, frequency and other pertinent details. Put the instructions in a place that is visible to everyone.

As you communicate the instructions to the helper, do check that she understands and have the helper demonstrate that she is able to achieve them. Suppose the tasks are not achievable, they will have to be renegotiated with your parents, and have them agree with you what can be done instead.

Frustrations and heightened emotions can hijack your efforts for clear communication.

Do schedule down times to give your helper and parents physical space apart. This provides everyone an opportunity to calm down before returning.

Friendships

My friend is always late and on the phone when she's with me I have been friends with G for over ten years and our families are close. Lately, I am realising that G has not matured much despite us being in our early 30s.

She is perpetually late (15–40 minutes), always on her phone, and defensive if you point this out. When we meet, she tends to unload her worries without asking how I am doing. She complains constantly about her job and love life even though I can see that sometimes it is her own fault.

While there has been no major falling-out between us, I realise more and more she is someone I do not want to be friends with, as I have become busier with my own life.

Is it wrong to want to cut her out of my life? Bad Friend 26 Methodist Message August 2023

Ai Jin says Dear Bad Friend, I am not sure if G is aware of how her behaviours are affecting you. Being late, being on the phone while with others are bad habits that demonstrate little consideration for the other. And if it's done perpetually, it will make anyone angry. Perhaps, you may also feel guilty for not being patient and forgiving of the person. If you have taken steps to help her see your point of view and there is still no awareness, it compounds your frustrations.

Perhaps this is why you feel the need to disengage from her because the less you are in contact with her, the less you'll need to be subjected to this emotional roller-coaster.

It is okay to draw boundaries to prevent yourself from feeling so negative, recognising that you can't change a person nor do you have full control of how the friendship can turn out. Meantime, as you become busier, do turn your attention to the aspects of your life that are going well. Over time, you may come to feel better or find yourself better able to extend acceptance towards G. If she realises how her behaviour has affected you, you may change your mind then and decide to embrace the friendship. Afterall, being friends for over ten years is noteworthy.

At The Workplace

Dating & Marriage

Oppressed and bullied at work

Choosing a church with my fiancé

It's been three months since I took over a managerial role. I am not supported or welcomed by my staff of four, my boss and assistant boss. I feel very oppressed and bullied at work. I feel like I need to outsmart them and break up their clan. Oppression at work

Li Ping says

My fiancé and I grew up in different Methodist churches and both of us serve actively in our churches. We are struggling to decide which church to attend after marriage. Both of us have our own community and ministry so it is really difficult for us to decide which church to attend. Can you advise us on how to decide and what factors we should consider? kopi

Dear Oppression at work, Before you act, discern if the oppression you feel is truly due to your not being part of "their clan". It is unusual, though not impossible, that both subordinates and supervisors alike see you as an outsider.

It is worth asking if your own actions have contributed to the resistance you are facing. This will not be easy as it will require going beyond your subjective feelings, engaging in prayerful selfreflection, and paying attention to feedback your colleagues may have given you since taking on this role. If no feedback has been given, consider asking for it from a colleague that you think is the least unfavourable towards you.

Whether your colleagues truly are in one camp against you, or if your own actions have contributed to the situation, prayerfully ask how you should then act, remembering that as followers of Christ, we are called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-14). Taking a combative and adversarial stance is likely to harden your colleagues' position against you. Consider actively trying to build relationships with them instead.

If, however, despite your best and wellintentioned efforts, you still experience bullying, then seek the Lord's guidance on whether this is where he has called you to be vocationally.

Li Ping says Dear kopi, Some factors to consider: (1) Do either of you sense the call to continue the work in any of your existing ministries or communities? A couple I know stayed in one church in order to continue reaching out to seeker friends in that church's cell group. (2) What future ministry do you sense a calling to serve in as a couple? (3) How would the adjustment to the new community be for the one needing to make the change? (4) Which community would you want to raise your future children in?

Take turns to visit each other's churches (or even a third!) for a season as you discern. Consult with mature Christians in either of your churches or one outside of your current communities who can provide wise, unbiased counsel.

The undergirding principle is where you both sense God calling you to, which may or may not align with your human reasoning. My husband and I felt called to go to his Methodist home church despite us both preferring my church in another denomination. It was only later, when I heard the call to become a Methodist pastor, that I realised that one reason I was called out of my previous denomination was because it did not ordain women.

August 2023 Methodist Message 27

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Mixed doubles

M

y wife and I had the opportunity

Although some of the differences may

recently to visit and observe up

seem trivial, over time it could become

close some couples—all married for more

the pebble in one's shoe, causing

than 20 years—who appeared as different

annoyance that eventually leads to open

as chalk and cheese.

warfare or even a permanent schism. We may have heard of couples who fight over

You, too, probably know of such couples.

their toothpaste, because one spouse

For example, where one spouse is a lark

systematically begins from the bottom

while the other an owl in their sleeping

and carefully rolls up the tube while

and waking patterns. One whose idea of a

the other squeezes the tube wherever

good holiday involves dashing off to cover

convenient.

as many sights as possible, while all the other wants is to stay put and relax. One a hoarder while the other a minimalist in their approach to possessions. I think you get the idea of what I mean by the differences which "mixed doubles" have to endure living with one another.

28 Methodist Message August 2023

As a marital therapist, I have a

Another characteristic is the recognition

professional interest in this area. How

that we all have faults. In strong

is it that some marriages can weather

relationships, there is no competition

such turbulence and others do not? This

over who has more faults or whose

question highlights that it is not the

faults are more damning. When spouses

absence of differences nor even conflict

start keeping score on how each has

that makes a marriage strong. Even

been disappointed, the relationship

in spite of apparent mismatch, some

descends to unforgiveness and bitterness.

marriages are fundamentally strong.

Remember not to be overly critical of each other and of yourself.

I made some observations in our interactions with the long-married

And like any enduring relationship, it

couples.

is important to set aside time regularly to give the marriage some TLC (tender

One feature is humour, or a couple's

loving care). If we take spa retreats

ability to laugh about and with each other

to care for our tired bodies or treat

but not at each other. The difference

eyebags, why not do the same for our

is small but critical. You may complain

tired relationships? Spending a few days

about your spouse's need to check

together, not immersing yourselves in

repeatedly that the door is properly

activity but sharing slow meals and quiet

closed before leaving home but you also

walks is a useful start. Then take time to

accept that the anxiety has a good intent

reflect on the past, maybe giggle about

and in the greater scheme of things,

the petty fights, or mourn jointly over

amounts at most to an annoyance.

past losses. Acknowledge and give thanks for where you currently are. Perhaps

The phrase "greater scheme of things"

recalibrate plans for the near future.

encapsulates another coping feature. In

Doing all this as part of a relationship's

other words, the couple keeps in mind

repair or maintenance can help build a

the big picture, which helps them not

mixed but effective doubles match.

to "sweat the small stuff" or "major in the minors". They acknowledge that the irritations and annoyances do exist but there are bigger things holding them together, be it their children, shared history or hopes for the future. To be sure, this important glue may change over time. For example, the children will grow up and the couple may then band together to be better caregivers to their ailing parents.

August 2023 Methodist Message 29

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$4000

$7200

For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.

Worship

Amelia Leo is a Programmes Executive at the Methodist School of Music.

She worships at Fairfield Methodist Church with her husband, Joshua, and daughter, Faith.

Inclusive worship PSN, ASD, GDD, CP. Any idea what they mean?

In my previous workplace, I had the privilege of working in support of the special needs community, and these were some of the terms I learnt: PSN refers to a person with special needs, ASD is autism spectrum disorder, GDD is global developmental delay, and CP is cerebral palsy. I also learnt of the efforts that our society has taken to increase awareness, acceptance and inclusion of persons with special needs. One example of this is the implementation of universal design in new building projects and in the renovation of existing infrastructure. The objective is to make the physical environment accessible to as many people as possible, regardless of age, disability or other factors.

Increasingly, we see more lifts, ramps, Braille on the walls, accessible parking lots, and even sensory level notices at museum exhibits.

Universal design is steadily becoming the norm in architecture, but what about in our churches? Besides the physical aspects of our church buildings, could we also plan our worship services with universal design in mind, so as to enable persons of varied abilities and disabilities to worship together?

calm down. The uncle who recently had leg surgery would feel less left out if the worship leader said, "Please stand, in body or in spirit, for the Scripture reading." And the girl with Down syndrome who loves to sing would join in with gusto, if only the songs had simpler words and rhythms.

Taking universal design into account may result in changes to our worship services that are not in line with our personal or stylistic preferences. However, Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." May God give us the courage to step out of our comfort zones and welcome all persons— including those with disabilities—to be part of the conversation with God!

The Methodist School of Music is organising a singing retreat for families, including those with special needs children, on 9 September 2023, 9.00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m., at Pentecost Methodist Church.

The worship and workshops at the retreat will be designed with the principles of inclusivity and universal design in mind.

Perhaps the elderly aunty who cannot see or hear very well would appreciate having a printed bulletin with large font. The boy with autism would love it too, because knowing what will happen next helps him

More information can be found here: https://msmusic.edu.sg/ events/tfws-day2/ August 2023 Methodist Message 31

Walking alongside you with compassion and care

ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD LTD

Christopher Lim is the LCEC Chairperson at Grace Methodist Church. / Photo courtesy of Christopher Lim

Are we doing enough to work together?

I

've been attending Grace Methodist Church since my secondary school days, when I became a Christian through The Boys' Brigade. Through the privilege of serving in leadership positions, and in various committees or workgroups at the Annual Conference, I became aware of strategic issues that were much bigger than the local church, which cannot be managed by local churches alone.

At the same time, churches are dealing with a barrage of negative influences, while being confronted with stagnant or even declining church membership. An observation I've made is that it is to the detriment of churches if they refuse to stay relevant or are too inward-looking.

As Christians, we are here to be the hands and feet for God’s agenda. As Methodists, there is so much more we can do together as a united OneMCS, especially when some churches have resources or expertise in certain ministries. We need not compete or duplicate our efforts, but instead, should optimise our collective resources.

(from left) Joshua, Kristen, Sharon (Christopher's wife), Jireh and Christopher

Instinctively, we know we are stronger together but are we doing enough to work together? We can start by doing things with our sister churches, to solve problems or carry out projects, whether it is for awareness, equipping or outreach. Of course, this may lead to some friction. But when we come together as a family of God, we put on the mind of Christ and focus more on what we have in common instead of our differences.

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

August 2023 Methodist Message 33

TTC OPEN HOUSE 23 August (Wednesday), 8.30 a.m. – 2.00 p.m.

Trinity Theological College, 490 Upper Bukit Timah Road, S678093 Register by 20 August, via https://www.ttc.edu.sg/english/slideshow/ttc-open-house-2023/ Considering a theological education? Do you desire to be equipped to serve God more effectively in the church and marketplace? Is God calling you to be theologically trained for ministry? Visit Trinity Theological College during the Open House for lectures and worship at our chapel. Dine with our community, tour our campus and interact with our faculty and students.

Organised by Trinity Theological College

2023 DISCIPLE FACILITATORS’ TRAINING 4-5 September (Monday – Tuesday), 9.00 a.m. – 5.30 p.m. for DISCIPLE Red, Green, Purple, Gold (Chinese) 7-8 September (Thursday – Friday), 9.00 a.m. – 6.00 p.m. for DISCIPLE 1 (English) 7 September (Thursday), 9.00 a.m. – 5.00 p.m. for DISCIPLE 2 and 3 (English) 8 September (Friday), 9.00 a.m. – 5.00 p.m. for DISCIPLE 4 (English) Methodist Centre, 70 Barker Road, Singapore 309936 Register by 15 August, via http://disciple.methodist.org.sg/index.php/en/component/rsform/ form/11:disciple-facilitators-training $140 – $200 depending on the module The DISCIPLE Facilitators’ Training programme is a four-module course that will equip you to lead the DISCIPLE Bible Study.

DISCIPLE 1 (Red) – Becoming Disciples Through Bible Study DISCIPLE 2 (Green) – Into the Word Into the World DISCIPLE 3 (Purple) – Remember Who You Are DISCIPLE 4 (Gold) – Under the Tree of Life *Pre-requisite: DISCIPLE Facilitators must be pastors or ministry staff who are theologically trained, or lay personnel who have gone through DISCIPLE. Organised by Disciple Agency

THE FAITH WE SING 2023: A SPECIAL ALLELUIA 9 September 2023 (Saturday), 9.00 a.m. – 11.30 a.m.

Pentecost Methodist Church, 4 Pasir Ris Drive 6, S519420 Register by 12 Aug at https://msmusic.edu.sg/events/tfws-day2/ $25 per family (up to 8 persons) A singing retreat about family for Christian families.

All families are welcome, including those with special needs children!

What’s in store for you and your family: - Discover God’s desire for families (both biological and spiritual) through song - Sing old and new Christian songs that help families live up to their calling - Experience what inclusive intergenerational worship could be like - Participate and bond over music-making activities as a family Organised by Methodist School of Music

Information prepared by Tan Yan An