Volume 49, Issue 18

The Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Toronto Mississauga since 1974

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Issue 18 Volume 49

February 13 2023

Valentine’s Day

MANJOT PABLA, A GROWING ROSE, 2022

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NEWS

Editor | Larry Lau news@themedium.ca

Celebrating Valentine’s Day with UTM students, staff, and faculty UTM students and professors share their Valentine’s Day traditions, focusing on the appreciation of loved ones above all.

Cristina Pincente Staff Writer

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very year on February 14, people celebrate Valentine’s Day by writing greeting cards, gifting flowers, and buying sweets, all to show affection and appreciation to their loved ones. The origins of Valentine’s Day are shrouded in mystery, potentially tracing back to an ancient Roman holiday called Lupercalia.

Regardless, Valentine’s Day focuses on celebrating all the love in our lives, and over time, has extended to include family and friends rather than exclusively romantic relationships.

As such, The Medium spoke with students, staff, and faculty at the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) about their plans for Valentine’s Day. Francesca Velardi, a fourth-year student studying English, Italian, and creative writing, believes that Valentine’s Day is “A nice excuse to show the important people in your life that you love them. I don’t think Valentine’s Day should be limited to couples either since you can feel love for friends and family.”

Some families, like Velardi’s, have specific traditions—every year, she and her parents go out to a particular sushi restaurant close to home.

“I’m an only child, so when I was born my parents didn’t really know what to do with me on Valentine’s [Day],” she shares.

People had offered to babysit Velardi for her parents, but they decided to bring her along for their special dinner. Since then, “Valentine’s Day has evolved into a family tradition. My parents and I go out for sushi, and we just celebrate being a family. The sushi restaurant we’d frequent has long been closed, but I have a lot of great memories from there and I treasure them.”

When it comes to celebrations for Valentine’s Day, things change when parenting is involved. UTM professor of psychology, Emily Impett—who specializes in close relationships, sexuality, and emotions—

shares her perspective of Valentine’s Day as a parent of three children. “Since having kids, Valentine’s Day has taken on a different meaning. I spend the build-up to Valentine’s Day figuring out what kinds of Valentine’s Day cards my friends like, or think their friends would like,” Professor Impett shares.

Each of Professor Impett’s children have about 25 friends in their class. She works with her children to write Valentine’s Day cards for each of their friends. “I’m helping to make 75 cards. It’s a lot of work, but a lot of love, and this is what Valentine’s Day is all about: expressing that you value others and care about them.” As a relationship scientist, Professor Impett says, “Showing

VALENTINA GUZMAN-MARTINEZ, LECTURE ROMANCE, 2023

people you value, understand, and care about them is just about the best gift you can give to others.”

Not all UTM students, staff, and faculty are looking to only celebrate platonic and familial love—there are many lovebirds around the campus. Megan Freedman, a newlywed fourth-year student studying English, history, and creative writing, shares, “Valentine’s Day, to me, is about celebrating your nearest and dearest.” When Freedman lived in her hometown, “My friends and I showed our love and appreciation for each other by exchanging handmade cards.” While the practice has stopped since Freedman and her friends moved away from their hometown, the expressions of love have not.

Recently married, Freedman explains, “My husband and I don’t really make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, but last year we got dressed up and went to see Scream 5 (2022).” Freedman and her husband plan to take it easy this year, stating, “We’re keeping it low-key, I’m doing some baking, and we’re ordering takeout and watching The Sopranos.”

Naturally, the meaning of Valentine’s Day varies across person. Regardless of what your definition of Valentine’s Day is, whether your focus is on family, friends, or your partner, what matters is showing love to the people you hold dearest.

The dangers of online dating Government agencies advise dating app users to exercise skepticism and reject money transfers to avoid emotional and financial heartbreak on Valentine’s Day. Angelina Jaya Siew Staff Writer

Trigger warning: Sexual assault.

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he prevalence of online dating has grown exponentially in recent years. Yet, while people can use online dating forums and apps to find love, they can just as easily find themselves in life-threatening situations.

According to a NBC article, on January 4, 2023, a man assaulted and tortured a woman he met through Bumble, an online dating app.

After she rejected his sexual advances, the

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woman was kidnapped, beaten, and starved for five days. She was only able to escape after her kidnapper left the apartment.

The man was subsequently charged for aggravated kidnapping and placed in jail.

Additionally, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC) noted that in 2021, there were 1,928 romance scams reported to the CAFC, which resulted in a total loss of $64,604,718 for victims. The CAFC explained that romance scammers use online apps to build trust with unsuspecting victims, subsequently defrauding them by asking for money or gifts.

Some scammers might send a love declaration before meeting you in person, ask to speak with you outside of the online app through phone or email, and not want you to tell others about your relationship with them.

Ultimately, the most obvious sign that the person chatting with you is a scammer is if they ask you for money.

According to an article published by Norton—an antivirus and cybersecurity software provider—women are more vulnerable to romance scams than men.

Despite the dangers, there are numerous ways for dating app users to protect themselves while still capitalizing on dating opportunities provided by such platforms. Most importantly, when meeting online dates in person, users should ar-

range to meet in a public space and let friends or family know of the meetup location.

Additionally, Canada’s Edmonton Police Service emphasizes that dating app users should never send money to someone they are dating online. Users are also advised against accepting any money transfers from online companions, which can cause them to become unintentional participants of money laundering schemes. Additionally, users should avoid sending sexually explicit photos of themselves, since they can be used by scammers as blackmail. To safeguard their personal safety, the police also advise users to avoid disclosing their location.

Furthermore, online dating platform users should not hesitate to research the name and find images of their online date.

This helps with determining the authenticity of the dater’s profile and identity.

Due to reports of sexual harassment related to dating apps, many dating platforms are implementing various measures to ensure user safety. For example, Tinder installed a mechanism that automatically identifies offensive language in texts and requests the sender to change their words. Likewise, Bumble has introduced a “Private Detector,” a technology that initially blurs inappropriate images sent to other users. Dating apps have also installed user verification to limit catfishing. Regardless, online daters must be cautious when using these platforms to avoid both physical and financial harm.

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The Aphrodite Project connects U of T students for a fourth year For 2023, the student-run Valentine’s Day matchmaking service is matching 3,563 students across U of T’s campuses, hoping to help its users forge new and meaningful connections.

Emily Prete Staff Writer

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very Valentine’s Day since 2020, the Aphrodite Project, a student-run matchmaking program, has paired U of T students and alumni based on their answers to a questionnaire about lifestyle preferences, values, and personality. The Aphrodite Project runs in universities across the world, from U of T and the University of British Columbia to Harvard University and the University of Hong Kong.

Sign-ups for the 2023 program opened on January 23, 2023, and closed on February 9, 2023. Match results were released on February 13, 2023. This year, 3,563 students, or 8 percent of the U of T’s student population, signed up for the Aphrodite Project. To learn more about how the program works, The Medium spoke to Aiden Low, co-founder of the Aphrodite Project.

The “science” is based on a paper that builds on the Gale-Shapley algorithm, which is associated with a 2012 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. “We take the questionnaire, and from there we generate a preference list for every single participant,” explains Low. The program ranks the participants within a given pool, after which “We run the stable matching algorithm off that.”

Other dating apps like Hinge also utilize the Gale-Shapely algorithm, but the Aph-

rodite Project stands out due to the questionnaire it uses. “We try to be really intentional about all the factors that would make a meaningful match,” says Low. Participants in the romantic pool can set dealbreakers, including gender, age, religion, ethnicity, and which campus they attend, whereas those in the platonic pool cannot. Along with the dealbreakers, Low says the questionnaire includes questions about OCEAN personality factors, habits, values, concrete plans for the future, and one focusing on hobbies that use natural language processing.

To ensure the program works as intended, the Aphrodite Project team synthesized psychology papers to determine factors that make a meaningful match possible. In addition to the research, Low states that the team uses their own data models based on past reports to improve the algorithm.

In 2022, the Aphrodite Project team added several new elements to the program, including the ability to block certain people from

ELIZABETH S. LING

being your match, new profile features, and the ability to “matchmake” for your friends.

“There [are] definitely quite a few [algorithm] improvements underneath the hood,” says Low, explaining some changes to the 2023 run. “We also use a natural language processing model, so we use an updated model, because there’s a lot of improvements in the natural language space.”

Registered users can view numerous graphs about U of T users’ 2022 demographics on their dashboard. In 2022, 3,471 U of T students and alumni participated in the program, including 2,962 undergraduates. Of those participants, 2,877 identified as heterosexual, with 570 identifying with other sexualities. Additionally, 1,905 identified as men, 1,520 identified as women, and 46 identified as non-binary. The Aphrodite Project’s comprehensive data and privacy policy assures that all personal data remains confidential, and that, “Your privacy is not for sale,” emphasizes Low. Missing from the graphs is data about dealbreakers, which was an intentional decision “to avoid perpetuating any harmful stereotypes about the social desirability of any sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion, or diet,” Low explains. In response to community suggestions to disallow “dealbreakers” altogether, the Aphrodite Project team released a statement, explaining that “[The Aphrodite Project team] disabling these options does not magically wave away those underlying considerations people might have for their

romantic and/or life partner.”

In the event of harassment from a match, users are encouraged to email the Aphrodite Project team for assistance. Low recognizes that this has happened before, saying, “The first thing we do is reach out to the person affected by the harassment to talk to them and work out a plan they are comfortable with.

We don’t do anything without their consent.

We don’t reach out to the other person and try and step in, because that might not take into account the full context of their situation.” Instead, they would propose for the team to reach out to the offending user or help contact law enforcement. If the incident escalates to sexual assault, Low explains that the best advice will be to involve more support mechanisms. “I think it’s a really difficult situation that we try to tackle with empathy,” Low expresses.

The Aphrodite Project’s website advertises a rate of two in five connections made, and Low points out, “We celebrated a couple’s marriage recently in Toronto who matched from the U of T Aphrodite Project.” Data on their Instagram from the 2021 run states that two per cent of matches were dating when they responded to the Aphrodite Project’s feedback survey.

No matter how many people find their soulmate through the Aphrodite Project, Low hopes that “Everyone out there can see that we are genuinely, just really trying to connect people and celebrate people’s happy moments together.”

Earthquake strikes Turkey and Syria Compromised infrastructure and poor weather conditions pose great obstacles to saving survivors in earthquake-stricken communities.

Larry Lau News Editor

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n the early morning hours of February 6, 2023, a 7.8 magnitude scale earthquake struck Turkey and Syria, leaving 33,905 dead and over 80,000 injured as of February 12, 2023.

The earthquake has surpassed the 1999 Izmit earthquake both in death toll and intensity, and is among the region’s most severe earthquakes in a century.

According to the US Geological Survey—a government agency that studies natural hazards—the epicentre of the 7.8 magnitude mainshock was located near the Turkish city of Gaziantep. Numerous aftershocks occurred afterwards, with one reaching 7.5 magnitude. As such, the regions of southern Turkey and northern Syria were the most affected. In response to the earthquake, the president of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has placed the ten affected provinces under a state of emergency that will last until May 14, 2023.

Images from media and international organizations show desolation and destruction throughout several towns and communities. The earthquake and its aftershock tore through buildings and infrastructure, with over tens of thousands of

buildings collapsed and damaged. Over 300,000 people are left homeless, with shelters and tents set up to serve as protection against the elements. Many educational institutions, medical facilities, and places of work have also been left inoperable or damaged.

In the aftermath of the earthquake, destroyed and damaged roadways—combined with harsh weather conditions— have hindered rescue operations. Snow, accompanied with freezing temperatures, has made circumstances grimmer for survivors who are trapped beneath rubble or living without adequate shelter.

The earthquake also exacerbated the humanitarian crisis in northern Syria, which was already severe due to the ef-

ERCIN ERTÜRK/ANADOLU AGENCY

fects of an ongoing civil war. The World Health Organization (WHO) also warns of a cholera outbreak currently taking place in Syria—with approximately 85,000 people infected with the disease.

Many international organizations are currently offering humanitarian assistance to earthquake victims. The United Nations (UN) and its associated agencies have been contributing to rescue operations and setting up temporary shelters for those in need. The WHO has mobilized its emergency medical teams to provide care and treatment for the injured.

Countries around the globe are sending humanitarian relief funds as well. In a tweet, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau pledged that the Canadian government would match any donations made between February 6 and February 22 to Red Cross Canada’s Earthquake in Türkiye & Syria Appeal. The matching amount is capped at $10 million. The US has also promised to send US$85 million as funding for relief efforts.

At this time, the UN is also welcoming donations from the public to support humanitarian aid efforts. The donated funds will be dedicated to assisting those in need in northwest Syria—where civil war and cold weather, among other reasons, are threatening communities.

The Medium sends its condolences to all community members whose loved ones have been affected by the earthquake.

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04

OPINION

Editor | Kareena Kailass opinion@themedium.ca

Enemies to lovers: Single-people x Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day is the most ideal holiday for single people.

Yasmine Benabderrahmane Contributor

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ou know Valentine’s Day is near when we are approaching the middle of February. Or perhaps, more notably, when the groans of single people echo in every corner. Sometimes, I wonder if their rage is simply a natural response to their surroundings. I would be no different if all I saw was red.

But this is the day and age of change—to wake up and accept that Valentine’s Day is indeed the most ideal holiday for single folks. Now, before you furiously search for my email address and attempt to defend Halloween or Canada Day, think again. Do you really think celebrating death is in any way… festive?

While my reasons may be few, they surely will be enough to sway you to celebrate this day with the one you can’t live without: yourself.

First, Valentine’s Day as a couple… in this economy? Besides, the gift-giving sphere has gotten far too competitive. Comparing ourselves to others on the internet is no less than a pastime hobby for this generation. Not only will you feel pressure from the whole gift-giving scene, but I guarantee the pressure will stay long after the holiday in the form of your bank account.

Second, being single on February 14 is so unique and different.

Going against these societal norms is so dystopian. It’s the very first step in becoming the main character of your own story.

Third, Valentine’s Day has been under heavy scrutiny recently for becoming a celebration of capitalism. “We love capitalism,” said no couple ever.

Fourth, while all the couples make their way to their overpriced, understaffed, candlelit restaurants, fast food chain stores are all yours. No more waiting an hour at the sole-standing Krispy Kreme in Mississauga or the two-hour line at Starbucks in the Library.

Fifth, you can freely be a hater and avoid getting hated on.

Valentine’s Day may just be on the cusp of rebranding as “Hate Couples Day.” Yes, kindness is free, but so is hating—and hating is so much more fun. The judgement-free lifestyle will definitely help ease your bitterness towards romance as a whole.

Lastly, the weather in February is not so cute for dates.

With the snow melting and turning brown, the unpredictable weather, and midterms approaching, the scene isn’t quite reflective of romance and love. It may just be better suited for the bitter, sad, and lonely.

For those who still remain unsure of my reasoning, try contacting your local mansplainer to help you better understand this article. Staying single for Valentine’s Day might just be convincing then.

MEGHAN-SCHIERECK/UNSPLASH

Say goodbye to soulmates Advice from an amateur date-goer that may reshape your views on relationships.

Julia Skoczypiec Arts & Entertainment Editor

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hen I was in elementary school, I used to think that I would meet the love of my life by crashing into him in a school hallway and dropping my textbooks. I know, cringe. But after hours of watching cliché love scenes in my favourite Family Channel and Disney shows, my understanding of romance was that of a typical princess-loving young girl. I thought that soulmates were found in a “love at first sight,” Dirty Dancing dramatic high-lift type of way. Well, I was wrong.

Romance is not really my forte. I learned this in university. After multiple failed dates and gross conversations with horny men online, I nearly gave up in my search for a significant other. I was on dating apps, then off them, then back on. Truthfully, I had no idea what I was doing and why, but it seemed to be the norm— meeting “your person” online. So, I kept trying until I found someone that I genuinely wanted to know.

There is a common misconception that soulmates are people that you find. For years, I had this three-page list in my Notes app full of qualities that would make up my “perfect partner.” If my expectations were not met by date one or two, I would send a polite text message that said something like, “I think we are meant to see other people.” My wishful thinking led me on a tired trajectory of hopeless café visits and mundane conversations.

In season four of the Netflix series The Good Place (2016), directed by Michael Schur, there is a scene where one of the main characters, Michael (Ted Danson), describes what soulmates truly are. He says, “If soulmates do exist, they’re not found. They’re made.

People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship.”

This quote has stuck with me for a while now.

In a sense, it reshaped the way I think about dating. It reminded me of the value of getting to know people for them, not for what you expect of them.

Essentially, relationships are escalated friendships. So, why does it feel like such a rollercoaster to get into one? I feel that terms like “soulmate” are the cause. They make something that is supposed to feel natural feel unnatural—because of this false belief that things must feel perfect. It’s not like when you make friends you have a list of qualities that you need to enjoy someone’s company. Like friendships, relationships just sort of happen.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three years now.

We started off as two unresponsive photographs, barely chatting online, but have turned into two goofs who are trying to navigate through our 20s together. When we met, I didn’t see him as a soulmate, or a companion, or an admirer. I just saw him as a friend—as someone that I wanted to know.

So, while I am in no way a relationship expert, I will say this: if you are in search for love, stop. Search for friendships and love will appear—often when you least expect it.

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Love is…

...epic

Cristina Pincente Staff Writer

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was troubled by the concierge’s news that our room did not have a balcony. I knew the balcony was a big part of the alluring charm of the view from the window. I recall the glistening sun dancing along the bay’s water and the tranquillity of the sailboats anchored to the dock. I wondered what it looked like inside that boat. He admitted he would like to go sailing someday too. I smiled and told him it was a deal; we must go.

The room’s grandeur didn’t seem to matter as much as the fact that we were together. And what a beautiful place it was to be with him. I sat on this perfectly-made bed, and despite its grand size, we found ourselves gravitating closer to one another. Less than five feet apart, then four, then three, until one of us accidentally touched the other’s hand, and we made eye contact. I’d thought before that kissing him was the most intimate touch, and that remains true. It’s a conversation where everything becomes clear without words.

And then, we kissed. In that moment, I understood the ships’ appeal to sailors. It’s their escape from everything and everyone. From responsibility, troubles, hard labour, and struggle. When they sail out far out enough in the bay, there lies the mark of freedom. Out on the water, nothing can touch them. And right there, in that moment and space in time, it was only him and I that existed.

Nothing can touch us.

This is our escape.

This is love.

…a risk worth taking

…a declaration of faith

Tia Cummins Contributor

Mashiyat Ahmed Contributor

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like to think that love is a gamble. It is probably one of the biggest gambles we choose to take in life, but also the most rewarding. In love, there is always a possibility of hurt and heartbreak. Love causes your personal dynamic to change, as you work the overwhelming feelings into your everyday life. Not only are you devoting time, energy, and even money into someone, but also your heart and mind. You confide in them, opening yourself up and placing yourself in a vulnerable position.

Taking these risks as you invest yourself into another person is what love is in itself. You remember how much it hurt when something like this ended before, and you are still willing to go through that again. The support they offer and the unexplainable feeling they give you deep down inside is all worth it. Just like any other gamble, the thrill of risk and reward in love is addicting.

n August of 1851, the American poetess Emily Dickinson wrote to a close friend, “I am half afraid to hope for what I long for.” The context this was written in remains ambiguous, as it has shifted through the currents of historical and emotional interpretation. But, whether we know if she was referring to the emotion of love or not, Dickinson’s words never fail to capture the essence of love in all its precarious glory.

True love is not an easy feat to describe, and the closest I can come to it is expressing the declaration of faith that is needed to entertain the possibility of unconditional love. No matter how easy our lives are or how much we hold onto our principles, people still fall victim to the perils of desirability, the awkwardness of vulnerability, and the overall uncertainty that comes from sharing one’s life with another. Given all the problems of our modern times, it seems like a daring act to hope, to declare faith in something we cannot see, or at times, feel.

So, what do I mean by a “declaration of faith?”

Love is the action of having faith in yourself and your partner—even if that faith is sometimes resting on unsteady ground—to commit to a goal that is greater than oneself or one’s partner. Love is the choice to work towards something that neither partner can see or feel at a particular moment, but that is brought closer through a mutual faith in each other’s potential to grow and evolve, even if it means on separate terms.

The choice of loving on unconditional grounds demands a hope that dares to transcend the uncertainties of the time, and commit to something larger than immediacy. And sometimes, the only thing that can save a dwindling love is renewing faith in that mutual decision to work towards something greater and more formidable than ourselves.

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…warm, like hot chocolate

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A OR

HE I/T L TTO CIO P IC

Zitong Chen Staff Writer

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t starts with the drawing of my attention. In the crowd, people gather together, but my sight only follows one person. Every movement, every action, every glance, every smile from her feels like the sparkle of fireworks, with a certain heat to light up my world, yet not enough to burn it. It’s just enough to leave a vivid image in mind. Perhaps after this moment, it will take me a lifetime to recall that image, but at least my endless nonluminous life could be comfort.

Then that fear of loss is drowned out by the words that jump out of her mouth.

“What’s your name?”

Her sparkle surrounds me, like fireworks being shot off nonstop. Perhaps I can save the lifetime to not recall, but to cherish the moments that I have it in my life.

From our first date in a movie theatre, to the popcorn that we shared, to the coffee we make for each other every morning. From the first day we reveal our trauma to each other, to the comfort we provide for each other whenever one of us gets hurt. We are each other’s safe zone.

And now, late at night, what she whispers in my ear makes me feel warm, like I’m drinking hot chocolate on a cold winter day, and of course, we tell each other “I love you.”

06

: Five ways to get over your crusty dusty ex

From microwave cookery to canned frog’s legs, these books have got something for everyone, no matter how lonely they are.

Elizabeth Provost Editor-in-Chief

My dear Valentine,

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es, you! You’re my Valentine!! (Unless you already have a Valentine, then how embarrassing, I just got rejected.) I love Valentine’s Day, because I think that no matter your relationships status, February 14 allows us to celebrate our layered and intimate connections with our partners, friends, family, and with ourselves! There’s nothing like self-love; so, make sure you light a candle, fill the bathtub with your favourite lavender bubble bath, and eat heart-shaped candy on this special day.

For some of us, Valentine’s Day might be difficult, especially when we’re trying to get over our exes. So, here are five ways to move on before (or on) love day.

1.

2.

Recently, for $25, the Toronto Zoo Wildlife Conservancy offered patrons the opportunity to name a cockroach in someone’s honour (or dishonour). Although the “Adopt an Animal” program is sold out, feel free to capture a roach or insect of your own and name it after your ex.

Give yourself time. The truth is, it might take you until next Valentine’s Day to fully get over your ex, but between now and then, you will grow stronger, and your heart will grow bigger.

Heartbreak can be messy, and healing is not linear. It’ll come and go—but remember to feel any and all emotions (good and bad), because if you don’t face them, they’ll creep up later. It’s not time that heals all wounds, it’s the healing process that does.

3.

Get out there. And not in the go date or hook up with a bunch of other people way—though, you could. However, what I mean is travel. Go absolutely anywhere, far or near, to remind yourself of how huge the world is. Life is so vast. You’ll meet new people, travel to new places, and experience beautiful things. What you feel right now is not forever, and being reminded of all of life’s opportunities, especially when meeting new people, might help ease the pain a little more. And who knows, maybe you’ll meet your future partner while dogsledding in Nunavut.

3.

Rally the girl squad (or dude squad). Don’t spend your Valentine’s Day, or any day you’re hurting for that matter, alone.

Have a cute Galentine’s dinner and make little love day trinkets for one another. Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but friendship is forever. Besides, your best friend probably realized your ex was a piece of shit ages ago.

4.

Four books to warm your frigid heart this Valentine’s Day

Take charge, cut off all communication, and cleanse your timeline of their presence. Remember—the block button exists for a reason and is a great tool to show your ex that you are willing to and capable of living on without them. There’s nothing like that nagging reminder when they post the latest Premier League score on their story. This last one is optional but has always worked for me. Others feel more fulfilled knowing they got over their ex while they were still haunting their social media like a groupie at a Harry Styles concert. Up to you!

I say “Thank you” to your ex for going because they weren’t meant for you.

Those who go are meant to go. These tips have worked for me, so I share them with you now. I promise that you will find what works best for you. Being single does not mean there is anything wrong with you—it is just an opportunity to prioritize yourself and determine what you truly want in love. And if you ever need a listening ear (or a threatening message sent someone’s way), my line is always open.

With Love,

Frog Raising for Pleasure and Profit

River Knott Copy Editor

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isten, let’s just keep it real! Not all of us have a date this coming Valentine’s Day. I mean, I sure do—but I’m naturally very sexy and charismatic (and you probably aren’t).

Alas, never fear! While a good book certainly won’t keep you warm at night, reading is still a great activity for singles who, frankly, have lost all hope in finding “the one.” Instead, find solace this Valentine’s Day tucked away with a novel in your dreary dorm rooms, all alone, so very alone…

Microwave Cooking for One Meatloaf in a mug! Microwaved liver! This book is an absolute goldmine of recipes to warm your cold, cold heart during this dark, frigid February. Luckily, author Mary T. Smith predicted your dismal dorm room solitude back when this masterpiece was written in 1981, as she has provided us with nearly 300 flavour-packed recipes, cooked from the comfort of your very own microwave! A boiled egg? Sure!

Chocolate pudding? Why not? A Salisbury steak?

Toss it in the microwave for three minutes on high!

If you enjoy mushy textures and dull flavours, look no further than Microwave Cooking for One. If you have too much self-respect, however, this makes a great gift for those lonesome singles in your life! Be sure to send anyone who has recently gone through a breakup this book to help them feel more confident in their newfound independence.

The Carma Sutra The Kama Sutra is an ancient text detailing hundreds of sexual positions for couples to try. The Carma Sutra is a modern twist on this archaic romp, which considers countless solutions to the cramped, uncomfortable nature of having sex in a car. Whether you’re working with a Mini Coop or a Tahoe, this book has something for everyone, as long as you’re turned on by sore joints and suffocating claustrophobia. However, from personal experience, I will note that almost all of these positions do not work on a moped or any other variation of street-legal electric scooter.

Catflexing While our furry friends can help keep us warm during the winter, those of us who are cat owners tend to miss out on all that great exercise that dog owners get going on long walks during the winter. Don’t worry! This book has everything the cat owner needs to know to sculpt some sweet abs, sexy delts, and powerful glutes. Only one piece of equipment is needed, and that’s your very own kitty cat! Here’s a little sneak peek at one of the included workouts: • • • •

3 sets of 8-12 “kitty cat curls” 3 sets of 6-8 “meow meow muscle ups” 3 sets of 8-12 “feline front squats” Finish with 3 sets of “cuddles” to boost morale and eliminate muscle soreness.

Listen up, singles! Your mom told you, your therapist told you, and now I’m telling you—you need a hobby.

Maybe you’d finally get a date if you had anything interesting to say!

Do you love water, but stop shy of watersports? I have just the book for you. For aquatic thrills with no frills, look no further than Frog Raising for Pleasure and Profit by Dr. Albert Broel. This mid-century classic is perfect for anyone lacking a personality or any special interests. Broel was the founder and CEO of the American Frog Canning Company, so he definitely knew a thing or two about frog rearing.

Learn all about keeping frogs as pets, as well as canning and selling their legs for profit. Dr. Broel promises a hearty five-dollar sale price per dozen frog legs through following his techniques. Pick up a copy of Frog Raising for Pleasure and Profit at the UTM bookstore to start your new career in frog canning today!

All jokes aside, Valentine’s Day is about celebrating all kinds of love, including the love we have for ourselves, our friends, and our families. So, even if you don’t have a partner to celebrate with, a moped to experiment on, frog’s legs to sell for profit, a kitty cat to workout with, or a microwave to cook a steak in, remember to treat yourself with kindness this Valentine’s Day. Be open minded, be compassionate, tell somebody how much they mean to you, and maybe even pick up a book. Happy Valentine’s Day.

07

Why I strive to be a caterpillar The effects of toxic relationships on self-love and self-growth, and how we can heal ourselves from breakups by listening to our own emotions and identities.

A.L. Zaritzky Contributor

A

noticeable flaw of the human heart is our willingness to love someone who does not deserve it. Just a few months ago, I began the process of recovering from an emotionally draining relationship that ended last June. My ex-girlfriend was often cold and withdrawn from my love, only dealing it out to me when I was at my lowest points and she feared I would cut ties for good. Despite living on this emotional rollercoaster that depended on how much love she felt like giving me that day, I continued to fight for her affection. Listening to sad playlists, I would catch myself crying in the middle of the day.

How can I cry?

Am I not in love?

Wiping away my tears as if they meant nothing, I would call her and ask to see her again, hoping that another date would mean the end of this cycle of love and loneliness.

On Saturdays, I would travel an hour by train to visit her.

In December, I once travelled an hour by train only to be refused by her when I arrived, taking the train home short of a twenty-dollar bill and a beautiful winter afternoon.

However terrible this refusal was, I only began to notice my downfall when one day in May, I realized I had not written a single story since I met her.

The destruction of my craft became a turning point for me. Writing was what I had always turned to since I was a small child. It was what made me who I was and who I could become.

A few weeks later, I broke up with her. This was the first decision in a year that I had made for myself and not for someone else.

When I first began post-breakup therapy, the first thing I asked my therapist was how I could start to build myself up again. He suggested that I return to writing, my first and forever love. With the help of writing creatively, I started to come to realizations about life.

One important thing I learned through writing is that life is full of intense realizations. Life is the act of constantly realizing. No one on Earth right now is completely stagnant, and if they are, it is not a good state to be in. Stagnancy limits us, freezing us before the act of transformation. It is like destroying the caterpillar before the formation of the cocoon. Noticing small differences in ourselves is a natural thing; we are built to grow and adapt as long as we live.

What we are not built for is self-hatred, ignorance, or the narrow boxes of unfulfilling relationships.

I am done pressing pause on my shifting feelings. If I were to have pressed pause in the throes of my heartbreak, staying sad

and heartbroken, I would not have had the chance to get back into my writing. As most humans do, I sometimes reconsider my breakup—if I should have done this thing or that thing—but I have stopped hating myself for these small human inconsistencies.

The caterpillar before the cocoon is likely also plagued by uncertainty. He probably wonders if it is normal to feel this or that twitch, or maybe he’s worried about whether he will feel the same tomorrow or the day after. With him in mind, it now comforts me to wake up, see the sunrise, and feel different about something, to realize and to actualize what I am feeling.

While we may flip between emotions on the daily, I believe that it is the consistency of a thought that counts. For me, it’s that I do not have it in me to allow someone to disrespect my love again, to be born a whole person only to be reduced to halves and quarters by someone else. The person who I eventually love will find me wonderful as I am, whole and susceptible to small, everyday changes.

Love is in the ‘gram An exploration into how we display affection on social media.

Hannah Grace Wang Staff Writer

C

By: Reid Fournier

ome every February, stores start selling Valentine’s Day themed candies, stuffed bears, and chocolates. With all the “I love you,” “Babe,” and “Lover” merchandise out there, it’s hard to escape the love-centric month. You’ve probably seen posts of the elaborate chocolate-covered strawberry bouquets from celebrities, or the classic balloon arches with rose petals scattered around the floor for a romantic Valentine’s Day setting. When your partner does something nice for you, it’s natural to want to share those gestures online. But have we gone too far with sharing public displays of affection (PDA) on social media?

Love should be shared. And believe me, it is shared all right.

Just scroll through your social media feeds and you’ll see numerous posts of sweethearts posting about their “soulmate” and all that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing an appreciation post for your partner. However, when we feel entitled to share our partners online whenever we wish, we should ask ourselves: are we still respecting their boundaries? It’s one thing to tag your partner in a post and declare your love for them. It’s another to shove it in people’s faces.

Social media has shown us what an “ideal” relationship looks like. And in our consumerist society, that can look like expensive dinners, promise rings, huge flower bouquets, and fancy outings.

When we see influencers and celebrities post about their love life on Instagram, it’s natural to feel like you (or your partner) aren’t doing enough. It can be hard to feel content with a box of chocolates and a handwritten card when other people are going on elaborate dinners in a limousine. Perhaps we’ve come to expect too much out of relationships, but don’t forget that social media is only a reflection of what people choose to show off.

Only seeing the highlights of someone’s relationship can actually be harmful to your mental health, and push you to start comparing your relationships to those online, since seeing these

posts can contribute to unrealistic expectations in your own relationship. And that can lead to feelings of disappointment, and even resentment. Big gestures and dates are nice, but so are the little things: stroking their hair, watching a movie cuddled up together, going on a walk, and “Good morning” texts are equally important in a relationship.

But the truth is, these little everyday moments you share with your partner can get lost amid the endless social media posts.

Social media has definitely changed our expectations of what a relationship should look like, but these new expectations aren’t all bad either. When we know how we want to be treated, we can leave relationships that don’t make us happy.

If you and your partner want to share a Valentine’s Day appreciation post, then by all means, go for it. There is nothing wrong with some PDA on social media—as long as you don’t overdo it.

Whether you decide to share your love life on social media or not, that’s totally up to you. But remember, it’s not helpful to fall into the trap of comparison. At the end of the day, only you know how genuine your relationship is.

AURORA PICCIOTTOLI/THE MEDIUM

08

features

Editor | Prisha (Maneka) Nuckchady features@themedium.ca

To date or not to date: How dating apps are still affecting young women The number of young people on online dating platforms has increased threefold in the last few years. But for women, they remain unsafe and uncomfortable.

Olga Fedossenko Associate Features Editor Some last names have been omitted to protect anonymity.

V

alery Li downloaded Tinder when she moved to Toronto last year to start her studies at Seneca College. As a 19-year-old international student from Kazakhstan, Li looked to connect with people in a new city and find someone to show her around.

“It was a great ego boost for me,” she said.

“I never expected thousands of guys swiping right on me. And it was really easy to cut them off in case I did not like talking to them anymore.”

Research shows that the 18-to-24-yearolds of the current decade are looking to online dating services three times more than young people of the earlier 2000s. In 2013, only 10 per cent of young Canadians reported using online dating sites, whereas now, 27 per cent are looking for matches online.

The majority of Millennials and Gen Z-ers who use apps like Tinder, Bumble, Badoo, and eharmony say that these platforms are great ways to find dates. In fact, according to eharmony, the young people of today have better chances of finding someone online than at a bar or a club.

“According to eharmony, the young people of today have better chances of finding someone online than at a bar or a club.”

And yet, dating sites and apps often become a venue for harassment, especially for women under the age of 35, making many of them wish to stop dating altogether.

“I added a couple of guys on Snapchat after chatting to them,” shares Li, “And the next day, I received pictures of them naked and a video of one guy masturbating.

None of that was consensual.”

Li believes it is also the reputation of certain apps that creates problems for women who use them. “[People on] Tinder are mostly looking for casual hookups. Bumble has a friendlier vibe.

And Hinge has the most attractive men, but a lot of them are extremely fake,” she explains.

More than 50 per cent of dating app users lie on their profiles and even more do so in conversation. Isabella, who has chosen to use a pseudonym to maintain her privacy, is a fourth-year student at the U of T. She found herself in a dangerous situation a few years ago because her match had lied about his intentions. Isabella was messaging a young man she had matched with for a few days when he asked her out for a drink. “For two days, we had talked about our lives and interests. And I felt spontaneous, so I was like, ‘Okay, I’ll be there.’”

When she got to the bar, her match was almost blackout drunk. He had brought his friends, who tried to force Isabella to drink shots with them. She quickly realized they had come to Canada from the UK for vacation, which her match did not disclose.

Despite Isabella making it obvious that she wanted to leave, her date followed her outside, trying to force himself on her until she kicked him and ran to her car.

A report from Pew Research Center says that about six in 10 female users under 35 claim that their matches have sent a sexually explicit message or image without asking first. 44 per cent of younger women say that someone has used offensive language in conversations with them on a dating app. 19 per cent of young women also say they have been threatened—roughly twice the percentage of men in the same age group who experience this.

Women often feel uncomfortable in conversations with men on dating apps. A study published by Jill McCartney and Susan Hellier from Robert Morris University in 2021 proves that sexually aggressive comments while chatting online can deteriorate women’s self-confidence and self-esteem.

They lose trust in their potential partners online and in real life.

Isabella says that the nonconsensual encounters and sexual aggression that she experienced while dating online caused a

rocky start to her current four-year-long relationship with her boyfriend. “The first year and a half of the relationship [was] characterized by a lot of fear and even resentment.

I felt like I had to be fearful of my boyfriend even though he didn’t do anything. I needed a lot of reassurance,” she confesses.

The bigger problem is that dating apps are not equipped to deal with harassment cases.

Dating services do not have clear rules on how to respond to reports of sexual violence that happen to their users online and offline, and they take weeks to respond to their users’ messages. Even apps like Bumble— which calls itself “female-friendly”—have had many cases of stalking, sexual assault, and rape that they have failed to address.

“The first year and a half of the relationship [was] characterized by a lot of fear and even resentment. I felt like I had to be fearful of my boyfriend even though he didn’t do anything.”

Even with all the dangers of online dating, women keep turning to the apps, hoping to find their next healthy relationship or a consensual hookup. Nancy Jo Sales, author of American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers (2016), says this has to do with how addictive the apps are.

“So addictive that many people say they use them without intending to ever meet up with someone in person. I think this is one of the greatest dangers of online dating: that the new dating technologies will eventually become more important to people than other human beings,” writes Sales, in her article for The Guardian.

Sales believes that every woman who uses dating apps could benefit from deleting them from her phone forever. In the meantime, the apps keep causing stress and additional risks, especially for young women.

Are the apps so useless and harmful that not a single woman has ever found a healthy relationship? Certainly not—many women have found healthy relationships and positive encounters through dating apps. But this does not mean the harm that others experience daily is any less urgent to address.

09

phenomenon

Love: An undefinable

Alexandra Gustafson, a PhD candidate, shares how different forms of love aside from romance can create fulfillment.

Mari Khan and Prisha (Maneka) Nuckchady Staff Writer and Features Editor

W

e all seek love, be it platonic, familial, or romantic.

But as Valentine’s Day approaches, we tend to focus solely on romantic love. While many philosophers have acknowledged our fundamental desire for love, understanding what constitutes love and why we seek it proves complicated.

Alexandra Gustafson, a current PhD student in U of T’s Department of Philosophy, explores the philosophy of love, ethics, aesthetics, and the philosophy of disability. As the co-founder and former co-chair of the department’s Mental Health & Disability Caucus, she is an avid advocate for mental health. But Gustafson has not always been interested in studying love from a philosophical perspective. She completed her undergraduate thesis on the philosophy of language, focusing on poetry, from the College of Wooster in 2016. During her master’s at Brandeis University, she fell in love with another philosopher. While Gustafson studied continental philosophy, her partner studied analytic philosophy. The distinction between analytic and continental philosophy is mostly geographical, with analytic philosophy having Anglo-American origins and continental philosophy having European origins. However, Gustafson notes that analytic philosophy is more focused on language, content, and meaning analyses, whereas continental philosophy is more metaphorical. The two fields seem at odds with each other.

“We hated each other; we couldn’t agree on anything philosophically or otherwise.

And then one day we realized we were in love, and it was just so surprising and so shocking that I had to stop what I was doing to figure out what had just happened to me.”

That philosophical tension mirrored their initial feelings toward each other. “We hated each other; we couldn’t agree on anything philosophically or otherwise. And then one day we realized we were in love, and it was just so surprising and so shocking that I had to stop what I was doing to figure out what had just happened to me,” she explains. From there, Gustafson shares that her interest in the philosophy of love bloomed: “I’ve experienced other loves since then, but my interest in the philosophy of love has remained because it’s a total shock and surprise every time I find myself in love.”

She explains that love isn’t something we can look for.

It’s not something we can break down and check off of our to-do lists. That said, the fact that romantic love can be so hard to find creates frustration. The absence of romantic love can make us feel disvalued. “You know, it’s just the case that whatever that mysterious ‘x’ factor is like, it hasn’t occurred yet. That can be disheartening because it feels like it’s out of our control whether anyone ever comes to love us or not,” she elaborates.

However, Gustafson stresses that we should not rely solely on romantic love for fulfilment—love comes in other forms.

We tend to believe that romantic love is the only cure for our loneliness—but it isn’t. Gustafson explains that the sentiment behind the belief is that to not die alone, one must find their true love to spend their life with. However, she argues that this vision reliant solely on a romantic partner is unrealistic. In 2022, over 2.7 million Canadians obtained a divorce. Further, only one in over 100,000 individuals find

their “soulmates”—the odds aren’t in our favour. Instead, Gustafson stresses the importance of embracing platonic, familial, and self-love. “We are loving, not just romantically, but also platonically. We have people who are choosing to spend their lives with their best friends. We’ve got familial love. We have the love of ideas and objects, and all of these things can fill our lives with meaning and purpose. We need not find that one romantic partner,” explains Gustafson.

“Romantic love doesn’t need to exist, doesn’t need to develop.

And so being loved by someone in this special way, I think feels different. It’s validating in a kind of way that maybe these other loves aren’t.”

She thinks that we tend to idealize romantic love because it seems miraculous. When it comes to familial love, that love is seen as a default setting. We come to love our friends partly due to proximity. Romantic love, on the other hand, happens surprisingly. “Romantic love doesn’t need to exist, doesn’t need to develop. And so being loved by someone in this special way, I think feels different. It’s validating in a kind of way that maybe these other loves aren’t,” explains Gustafson.

“I think we should be cautious about this narrative that finding someone completes us.”

Our experiences of love, however, vary. No two individuals will feel love in the same way—our love languages differ.

For example, Gustafson remarks that while in the past, sexual attraction was deemed an essential component of love, this isn’t true: many individuals are asexual. “I think love is experienced differently based on who you are and who you love,” she explains.

Love’s uniqueness might be what makes it more difficult to define. Philosophers have attempted to define it, but unsurprisingly, they don’t agree.

She shares that some philosophers, like Hegel, Aristotle, and Solomon, have described love as a union. They argue that love is the coming together of two souls to create something new. “This is very much in line with the thought that finding a romantic partner somehow completes us or makes us more whole,” she adds. However, she believes that this generates unrealistic expectations for our loved ones. “We’re out there searching for our perfect other half and of course, in a world in which nothing perfect exists, that perfect other half can’t exist. So, I think we should be cautious about this narrative that finding someone completes us,” she stresses.

For Gustafson, contrary to what many philosophers believe, love is not rational—it’s not something we do for specific reasons. Many think that what distinguishes humans from other

animals is our rationality. And so, philosophers have thought that the emotion of love also arises from reasoning. However, Gustafson believes that love is not something we deliberate about—it just happens to us. “I think that love involves a capacity beyond reasoning. [We] don’t quite understand how it works, but we’re able to do it. And I think this is the common feature that links all kinds of love, that it’s not rational, rather that it happens to us kind of mysteriously,” she shares.

As opposed to emotions, which arise from reason, Gustafson thinks of love differently. For example, we feel angry at people when they’ve done something we deem wrong. But we don’t necessarily have to feel love to know it’s there. Instead, Gustafson thinks of love as what she calls a disposition. “A disposition is just a tendency to behave a certain way under certain circumstances,” she explains.

“This balance is something that we can learn through loving, through being loved, learning to value ourselves and love ourselves, and to compromise rather than always just give.”

Gustafson argues against the common notion that to love someone, you must first love yourself. Though we should not let others define our value, this notion fails to acknowledge that many have struggled to embrace self-love since growing up, and teaching a child to love themselves is difficult.

Through loving others, we understand ourselves from a different perspective; we learn to love ourselves and compromise instead of sacrificing our well-being for someone else.

“This balance is something that we can learn through loving, through being loved, learning to value ourselves and love ourselves, and to compromise rather than always just give,” explains Gustafson.

For those pessimistic about love, Gustafson says: “I think just the fact that we have this capacity [to love] is something to rejoice in. It’s one aspect of what makes us human and even if that’s something bittersweet, there is a sweetness to it.” For Gustafson, love is ever-present. “We can’t help but love, whether our family members, our friends, or some potential romantic partner. I think there’s something very human in us that recognizes the humanity in other people and marvels at it, and this is such a beautiful thing,” she concludes.

10

Did Cupid make the right call?

Students share their best and worst Valentine’s Day experiences.

The most frost-rating date EVER

An un-bear-ably cute Valentine’s Day

“Be mine!”; To: Myself, From: Myself

Manisha Basuita Contributor

Meghna Parhar Contributor

Abigail Savage Contributor

“S

o,” he asked, a cup of hot chocolate in his hand and a smirk on his lips, “Can I take you out again?”

I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and said “No.” The night began when he asked me to meet him at the Bramalea City Centre parking lot. That should have been the first red flag.

He wore blue jeans and a thick, cozy jacket. “I wanted to try this new wing place nearby,” he said as I sat in his car. He drove us to WOW! Wing House, a wing joint about five minutes from the mall. At this point in the pandemic, we could not dine in. So, I expected us to sit in his car and eat, chatting away and listening to 92.5 FM on the radio.

“The food will take 45 minutes, please return for pickup then,” uttered the cashier. “And your total will be $38.95.” I looked over at him as he felt around his pockets. He opened his wallet and paid for our food. Then, we left the restaurant and headed toward his car. “I wasn’t expecting there to be a wait, but I did see a park on the way here with string lights,” he said.

I assumed we were going to drive by the park. Perhaps, we would sit in the car and chat some more. But that didn’t happen. He parked the car and opened his door. We got out and walked through a trail for what felt like 30 minutes until we reached the skating rink with the string lights. For some context, it was January—cold, windy, and snowy. Remember how he wore jeans and a winter jacket? Well, I wore ripped jeans and a lightly lined sweatshirt.

By the time we reached the skating rink, my ears felt numb, and my toes were frozen. I could no longer walk without feeling wobbly. “It’s a little cold, maybe we should head back?” I asked. He turned and faced me, “I’ll go get us some hot chocolate! That should warm you up.”

I continued to stand in the cold and barely surviving the rest of our date. But that wasn’t the end of it: I had a raging cold for weeks after to remind me of that terrible night.

“The student council came around with roses and candy today,” I sighed, fiddling with the dial of the radio. Valentine’s Day had fallen on a random Tuesday that year, but that certainly didn’t stop the world from turning red, white, and pink.

“Did you get any?” my dad asked and shooed my hand away, turning the music off instead.

“Only from my friends,” I frowned, thinking of the paper bag of roses and lollipops sitting in my backpack, “I feel lonely.”

“That’s stupid,” he said, shaking his head, “You’re not.”

“Gee, I feel much better now,” I responded, rolling my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest, and staring out the car window.

We were only a few minutes away from home when he turned the car around and stopped at the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart, leaving me in the car to go inside. When he walked out a few minutes later, he was holding a big, white bear under his arm.

“Dad…” I stared at the bear when he sat back down in the car and asked, “Who is that for?”

“It’s for you,” he shrugged, holding it out to me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, practically ripping it from his hands. It was soft to the touch and had a red bow tied around its neck. “Really? Why?” I asked.

“You said you felt lonely,” he explained and gestured to the bear, “He’s a new friend.”

I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed so loud. I hugged the bear close to my chest, burying my face into its fur. “You love me so much,” I said.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, “Just don’t tell anyone I said it.”

I didn’t stop talking about it for days.

I

t’s not even a real holiday! It’s a marketing scheme created to manipulate people into believing that love is a necessity by purchasing chocolate and pink-coloured merchandise, I thought to myself.

Not that I have anything against chocolate or the colour pink—on the contrary, I’m a fan of both. But the idea of a holiday which encourages spending money to verify love has always rubbed me the wrong way.

Exactly one month following the end of my three-year relationship, I found myself alone on Valentine’s Day. During my relationship, I had always prided myself on not requiring superfluous expressions of love to validate my feelings. Now that I was alone, I realized that what I actually loved about the “day of love,” was having someone else there.

Everywhere I went, I was reminded of my newly found “single” status. The lavish decorations of hearts and balloons, which I once rolled my eyes at, now brought forth feelings of failure and loneliness. Why had a day that I once scoffed at become a source of pain?

Instead of spending my day vacillating between internal pity and external annoyance, I decided that I would redefine how I celebrate love. Even if I no longer experienced romantic love, I realized there are countless forms of love to celebrate— including self-love.

I shifted my perspective and fully embodied the concept of “treat yourself.” Treating yourself simply includes engaging in acts that make you happy for your own sake. What I learned from this practice was an invaluable lesson: loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give and receive on Valentine’s Day. So don’t despair if you find yourself newly alone this Valentine’s Day. Try practicing self-love, and maybe, like me, your worst Valentine’s Day might miraculously change into the best.

My spooky valentine Dalainey Gervais Associate Features Editor

F

ive years ago, for our first Valentine’s Day, my partner surprised me with a haunted tour of one of my favourite spots in Toronto: the Distillery District. I have always been a history buff and loved scaring myself with stories of paranormal activity—this was the perfect blend of the two.

Surprisingly, being from Toronto, I had never taken such a tour in the city, despite there being so many haunted options.

The tour took place in the evening; the dark sky added to the excitement. We walked around the Distillery District with a guide dressed in a cloak with a lantern. We listened to stories of the people who helped build the District and their unfortunate demises. We finished the evening scouring the city for an open ice cream shop so we could try the most fun flavour they had. I had no idea this would be the beginning of my favourite tradition.

Unfortunately, the pandemic has made it difficult for us to continue this tradition but this year, we’re back at it! Now living in Ottawa, we’ll be spending our Valentine’s Day holding hands during a haunted tour of former Prime Minister Mackenzie King’s summer estate. Maybe, we’ll finish the evening with a warm beavertail rather than ice cream—after all, we are in the birthplace of the iconic Canadian treat.

11

Arts

Editor | Julia Skoczypiec arts@themedium.ca

What makes a love song great?

Highlighting some of the many love songs that have shaped society for generations.

Cristina Pincente Staff Writer

L

ove is a remarkable subject from which we draw inspiration. In the music industry, love songs have dominated the charts for centuries. And while some of the greatest tracks of our generation are love songs, the question remains: what makes a great love song?

I always think that a love song becomes epic when you hear it and think of it as the soundtrack to your life. The most crucial element is the lyrics. It does not matter if you are 15 years old or 50, somehow artists can put universal emotions into words. As we listen, the connections we make in our hearts allows us to visualize specific moments that allow us to relate to the music.

Simple lyrics that convey authentic emotions are favoured over complex and hard to understand phrases. Some examples of two timeless love songs include Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and Frank Sinatra’s “You Make Me Feel So Young.” These tunes allow listeners to paint a mental picture. Through each artist’s authenticity, we understand their stories. We understand them. After all, they say art imitates life.

It’s not all about the lyrics when it comes to a great love song—there are also vocals and instrumentals. Love songs with acoustic rhythms do better than beats with electronic, fist-pump inducing sounds, in my opinion. Major key signatures tend to resonate better than minor keys—like in “My Girl” by The Temptations or Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” Although, some fast-paced and upbeat love songs, like “More Than You Know” by Axell and Ingrosso, describe the kinds of confessions that we sometimes need to get off our chests.

According to writer and music critic Martin Chilton, “it has been estimated that more than 100 million love songs have been recorded, and the variety is staggering.”

Songs about love each have their own meanings. For some, love is an eternal promise, like in “Everlasting Love” by Love Affair and “Make You Feel My Love,” originally written and recorded by Bob Dylan, but later covered

by Billy Joel and Adele. Then, there are more complementary love songs that are full of praise and put the lover on a pedestal— like “When a Man Loves a Wom-

an” by Percy Sledge and Franki Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” More so, some songs portray situations of forbidden lovers—a more modern R&B-pop example of this would be “Don’t Matter” by Akon. Finally, songs about love can also be categorized through sex and desire, like “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Regardless of the era, love is timeless and appeals to younger and older generations. A personal favourite of mine is “To Love Somebody” by the Bee Gees.

Love is not always about feeling happy, and if you ask me, there are two sides to everyone’s secret playlist of romance-inspired tunes. Heartbreak is reflected on in some of today’s great love songs—like “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, “Happier” by Ed Sheeran, and “You Are the One” by Shiny Toy Guns. Meanwhile, other breakup songs feature artists who swear that they will move on from lost love, like “Go Your Own Way” by Fleetwood Mac. Additionally, most people consider Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone” their break-up anthem. Even Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name” falls under the genre.

Before writing this article, I made a playlist called “The Greatest Love Songs of All Time.” It includes many more songs like the ones I have discussed, but I came to realize that whatever tracks you add to your own playlists will depend on your experiences with love. So, the next time you are blaring a love song in your room or in the car, think about what makes that song so great.

BEATRIZ SIMAS/THE MEDIUM

From clichés to practical love scenes—the evolution of Bollywood romance How Bollywood films are evolving with contemporary stories, unique music, and a refreshed audience.

Malavika Puri Staff Writer

I

magine this: in the heart of the snowy mountains, a beautiful woman, clad in a red satin saree and a backless blouse, throws her arms open and calls for her lover. As if it were fate, a man in a bright white sweater and blue pants comes running through the snow right into her arms. They look into each other’s eyes intensely. They hug each other. They fit together as though they are destined. Sounds cliché, right?

This style of unrealistic romance defines the plots of most Bollywood movies of the 2000s. These movies consist of a hero and heroine fighting against numerous challenges—like the differences in their families’ belief systems that result in their tragic social or personal circumstances. They do all this for the sake of love. Sometimes they are successful, but other times, they aren’t as lucky.

From Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan) and Anjali’s (Kajol) fight for acceptance in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham (2001), to the con stories of a thief couple in Bunty Aur Babli

(2005), love is professed with a complex choreographed dance set to meaningful Hindi songs. These songs consist of a beautifully arranged backdrop of scenic mountaintop views, sunflower fields, or a clearwater lake.

The love in these films is dramatic and remains etched in the epic history of Bollywood romance—encapsulated with songs like “Suraj Hua Madhaam,” “Bairi Piya,” “Main Yahaan Hoon,” and “Chup Chup Ke.” The scenery of Bollywood in the 2010s has taken a turn for practicality—reflecting the rapidly Westernized Indian society.

In newer films, Bollywood romance is much more local and imaginable to the public. The love between couples consists of the traditional stages in a relationship—from dating to breaking up. The plotlines reveal more realistic social taboos and daily life challenges, making them relatable to many of today’s audiences. Some movie examples that effectively showcase Bollywood’s new style are I Hate Luv Storys (2010), Band Baaja

Baaraat (2010), Pad Man (2018), and Bareilly ki Barfi (2017). Each film captures the essence of love realistically and believably.

While the hero and heroine still profess their love through music and dance, it is much less grand and low budget.

The Bollywood movies of the 2020s are taking this change a step further. The industry is opening a space for the representation of historically underrepresented communities—like the 2SLGBTQI+ community.

These films also showcase the differences between inter-caste and religious marriages.

While many audiences appreciate such diverse content, politically motivated critics do not feel the same. Movies like Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga (2019), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), and Chandigarh Kare Aashiqui (2021) did not receive a lot of critical acclaim and recognition even though some of them made a fortune across box offices.

The originality of Bollywood movies lies in the use of dance and music to convey emotions. The choreographed sequences and larger-than-life music are a part of Bollywood, no matter how unrealistic it is. The stories, however, are chosen by the storytellers. This turn of the industry from clichés to practicality is proving to be popular with the latest young audiences.

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How When Harry Met Sally… remains a timeless rom-com While the film’s plot may seem ordinary, Reiner’s 1989 classic remains relevant for its depiction of heterosexual relationships.

Megan Freedman Associate Arts & Entertainment Editor

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hen thinking about romantic comedies, we must discuss the beloved When Harry Met Sally… (1989). The movie’s plot is the epitome of the enemies to friends to lovers trope. Director Rob Reiner and writer Nora Ephron took audiences on a journey through the twelve-year relationship of the cable-knit-sweater-wearing Harry (Billy Crystal) and America’s sweetheart Sally (Meg Ryan). But why is it such an influential romantic comedy?

The film begins as Harry and Sally depart on an eighteen-hour road trip from the University of Chicago to New York City. Their personalities do not seem compatible—Harry is cynical and dry while Sally is particular and sensitive. When Harry hits on Sally, she informs him that they will just be friends— which he claims is impossible. Five years later, they have another unpleasant meeting, where Sally is surprised to hear that Harry is engaged. Fast forward another five years, Sally and Harry meet again when both of their relationships have come to an end. This

is the official beginning to their friendship.

When Harry Met Sally… asks the age old, heteronormative question: can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way? Harry argues that they cannot.

This question is never answered in the film. Throughout Sally and Harry’s friendship, they deny that they are in love with each other. They even attempt to set one another up with their friends Jess (Bruno Kirby) and Marie (Carrie Fisher). The setup backfires as they find that Jess and Marie are attracted to each other—and eventually get married.

Harry and Sally have a “will they or won’t they” style of tension throughout the film.

This creates an enjoyable viewing experience, especially when Sally calls Harry late at night for support as she has found out that her ex, Joe (Steven Ford), is engaged. Prior to this point in the film, Sally had never shown any strong emotions. When Harry arrives at her house, he finds Sally distraught and she tells him: “All this time I’ve been saying that he didn’t want to get married, but the truth is he didn’t want to marry me. He didn’t love me.”

Harry and Sally kiss and eventually sleep together. In the morning, Harry is clearly disturbed about the situation and leaves. They

agree it was a mistake, but their friendship is ruined because they do not want to admit their true feelings for one another. But with time, and after Sally writes him off as both friend and lover, Harry professes his love for her. They get married three months later.

Thirty-four years after the release of When Harry Met Sally…, audiences are still falling in love with the titular characters. Katz’s Delicatessen, a deli in New York where Harry and Sally ate in the movie, has a sign above the table where Sally publicly proved that it is easy for women to fake an orgasm. The sign says “hope you had what she had,” an ode to the iconic line “I’ll have what she’s having,” said by a bystander in the restaurant scene—who happened to be the director’s own mother, Estelle Reiner. The film redefined romantic comedies and led to

the kickoff of Meg Ryan’s rom-com career in the 1990s.

Since the late 1980s, Hollywood has released countless romantic comedies. Still, audiences keep coming back to watch When Harry Met Sally…. The film not only utilizes the enemies to friends to lovers trope effectively, but it shows the progression of growth in its main characters. When we meet Harry and Sally, they are flawed 21-year-olds. Every new life stage brings them back together and though they remain flawed they grow with each other. In my opinion, it is not Harry Connick Jr.’s fantastic soundtrack or the cut scenes of elderly couples discussing their own love stories that make this film so charming. It is the fact that Harry and Sally are just ordinary people who realize the true potential of love.

SABRINA MUTUC/THE MEDIUM

Will human-made art be replaced with AIgenerated art?

Current artists facing technological threats can look to art history for clues to understand the way forward.

Maja Tingchaleun Arts & Entertainment Associate Editor

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iscourse on art generated by artificial intelligence (AI) versus human-made art has been making its rounds on social media platforms for the past several months. In case you’ve missed it, many are growing alarmed that works by commissioned artists are being replaced with AI-designed graphics. Artists and art fans alike worry about lessened demands for “real art.”

For AI to have the ability to generate images, it relies on huge amounts of data from art that already exists. Thus, some argue that the “creators” of AI-generated art are stealing profit from the artists whose work the AI consumes. The main favourable quality of using AI-generated images is that the results are attractive, effective, available for a fraction of the price, and take less time compared to a human artist’s work.

Although it may be somewhat surprising, debates about the threats that technology poses to art started more than a century ago. Artists and art critics immediately grasped the dangers of a new form of media: photography.

As photographic prints of paintings became increasingly available and accurate, there was a seemingly infinite supply of art—and,

if anyone could put the Mona Lisa up on their bedroom wall, what role could current artists fulfill?

Arguably, the most fascinating response to the threat of photography was the creation of modernism—or, as Marcel Duchamp, the father of modern art called it, “anti-art.” Irreverent, bitingly ironic, and bizarre in its oscillation between complexity and simplicity, the words “modern” and “art” conjure up images of strange cubes, multimillion-dollar canvases with a single stripe of colour, cans of Campbell’s tomato soup, or sinks mounted to museum walls.

As a movement, modernism was effective and divisive— much of modern art, at least at surface level, doesn’t seem to require much talent to create. And that, in fact, was the point.

Modernists, cubists, futurists, surrealists, and impressionists pointed out that technology had removed the public’s need for their works. If anyone today can have art, they argued, anything can be art—like a crowded street, a tin can, a urinal, or the same water lilies painted over and over again. So, ironically, while some consumers declared “real art” was no longer being created, Duchamp, Monet, Van Gogh, Picasso, Munch, and Kahlo all came and went, doing what only art can do: immortalizing the profound signs of their times.

Today, AI art introduces many similar challenges. Regardless of whether you enjoy human-made art, humans will continue to create.

But if there’s one thing modern art taught us, it’s that something that doesn’t look like art can still be “real” art. Perhaps the lesson from AI-generat-

ed images is that something can look like art or be used like art and yet not be considered “real” art. This is because art is more than just a product—it is an intention, a process, and a challenge to the heart and mind.

AI, like the modernists, is faced with a near-limitless supply of masterpieces to copy or draw inspiration from. Unlike the modernists, however, AI will not buckle down into selfexpression. Instead, it will continue to generate multiple versions from the prompt. If you don’t like the options that the AI generates first, it can simply re-generate more. Intentionality is only introduced after the fact, when you pick the images that appeals to you.

Conversely, if you have any friends who are artists, think of how much time they spend drafting before they begin a project. The creative process is the act of playing with one’s choices—until the right way to present a scene is found. The artist is constantly in dialogue with the subject of their work, as well as with the viewers they are looking to present their art to. Artistic decisions dynamically reflect the outcomes of a piece.

There is a certain type of soul in human art that other humans recognize. Maybe it’s because, deep down, we’re all wired to crave meaningful and intentional connection. Art is ultimately all about relationships, and it allows us to recognize and connect with the soul of the person behind the art we consume—even if we criticize it. As the prevalence of AIgenerated images increases, will the humanity and soul of art be something we can still recognize and treasure? I don’t know, but I think that recognizing the humanity in art is something that deserves protection.

13

The Medium’s Ed tor- n-Ch ef sh nes at TEDxUofT A radiant overview of the speakers and performers at TEDx’s latest UofT conference.

Radhia Rameez Associate Sports & Health Editor

social equity consultant to propose a three-step solution: fixing participation, monitoring differences between neighbourhoods, and allocating resources equitably.

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ast Sunday, February 5, 2023, the Isabel Bader Theater in Toronto came alive with laughter, awe, and applause as twelve inspirational speakers captivated the audience with their stories and insights. For their first in-person event since 2019, TEDxUofT centred their 2023 conference around the theme of “Radiance”—a shoutout to the importance of being true to oneself in the face of adversity. Amongst the speakers was Elizabeth Provost, current Editor-in-Chief of The Medium.

Emceed by U of T journalism student Emmy Curtis, the event opened with a land acknowledgement, followed by the U of T Campus Philharmonic Orchestra performing a haunting rendition of Reena Esmail’s “Concerto for You.” A second performance, by Canadian spoken word icon Andrea Thompson, took place after the first intermission. Thompson currently teaches a creative writing course on spoken word at the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM) and has received numerous accolades for her writing and music. Her poetry flowed between spoken word and song with seamless grace, telling a story of her faith, the North American Black diaspora, and the Underground Railroad. In the final performance, Mahmood Magic, a magic duo made up of twins Saqib and Aaqib Mahmood, performed some classics—like Houdini’s East Indian needle trick.

They reminded the audience that magic connects us to our inner child-like sense of wonder.

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Taylor Ball

Picture this: shoes made of clouds, a dress made of water, and a skirt made of flames. According to Ball, all this and more could be possible with digital fashion—a concept in which people will virtually dress themselves in digital outfits on platforms like Zoom or in the Metaverse. Ball, who is a currently pursuing a Master’s in Sustainability Management at UTM, spoke about the dangers of fast fashion, and the exciting possibilities of digital fashion in terms of sustainability, carbon emissions, and fashion democratization.

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Kamille LeClaire

LeClaire’s talk illustrated the inequities that exist in our cities and how city councils are responsible for what our neighbourhoods look like. One of the main reasons for this disparity, she pointed out, was that people from minority groups and lower income neighbourhoods often refrain from using services like 311 or attending public consultations. LeClaire, who holds a Master’s in Human Geography from U of T, used her own research as a

Paul Nazareth

Nazareth’s talk centered on networking, but not the “weird and gross” version that most people find daunting. Instead, he shared stories of connections he made during his days at New College at U of T and expressed the importance of talking with people rather than at people. He touched on the fact that so many of us have our identities tied to our titles that we can forget to define who we are beyond the work we do. With accounts about his networking initiatives such as one he called “Dinner with 12 Strangers,” Nazareth provided a powerful takeaway: stop thinking of networking and start thinking of community.

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Sheldon Huang

Huang began his speech with a poem on the importance of nurturing kindness, written by artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot, ChatGPT. As a Computer Science PhD student, Huang spoke about how AI impacts human creativity and the new plagiarism challenges that the education system faces in the wake of recent technology. Using memes, poetry, jokes, and beautiful digital art generated by AI to illustrate his points, he raised several important questions about creativity, motivation, and the gift of giving and receiving kindness. “Creativity is not our last defense against automation—kindness is,” Huang pointed out. “We should build more research institutions focusing on kindness, maybe even a faculty of kindness in our universities.”

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Dr. Monica Vermani

As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Vermani spoke about how negative thoughts can manifest as barriers in our lives. Offering insight into where they come from, why they’re so strong, and how we can “clean them up,” Dr. Vermani—who has recently published A Deeper Wellness, a self-help book on healing and growth—narrated inspiring stories that she had encountered in her practice, and encouraged the audience to challenge, rewrite, and reframe their negative thoughts to live their best lives.

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aged, pointing out that poop has the potential to be the earth’s fifth energy source.

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Rebecca Rosenblat-Billings

“The human race would cease to exist if not for pussies,” Rosenblat-Billing told the audience when she took the stage. As a clinical sexologist, life coach, writer, and TV show host, she spoke frankly about female pleasure, “pussy power,” and the stigma and shame associated with female sexuality. The highlight of her talk was the “pussy monologues,” a collection of hilarious and empowering one-liners created by some of her workshop attendees who imagined what their vaginas would say if they had a voice.

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Professor Baher Abdulhai

Starting his talk with a comical story about road rage, Professor Abdulhai, of U of T’s Department of Civil and Mineral Engineering, read into his key question: can we use AI to eliminate traffic congestion on the freeways? Using funnels and rice, he demonstrated how bottlenecks can be avoided if we slow down.

Professor Abdulhai also spoke about how using AI could prevent the need to spend billions on new infrastructure.

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As a speaker, advocate, and educational consultant, Newton believes that the true solution to inclusion is “fitting out” rather than “fitting in.” Newton shared personal stories on the pain of exclusion, speaking about what it was like to be the only Black child in school. She invited the audience to embrace the idea that we are all unique beings meant to “fit out together in unity.”

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Matt Cabraja

Tokyo 2020 Summer Paralympic Games athlete Matt Cabraja— accompanied by his guide dog Goku—spoke about the gruelling difficulties he faced when dealing with failure. “Failure should be worn as a badge of honour,” he told the audience, explaining how failing is a learning process and a means of success. Cabraja, who was born with no vision in his left eye and lost vision in his right eye at nine, won a silver medal and two bronze medals at the 2018 Pan Pacific Para Swimming Championships in Cairns.

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EVA AN-YI TSAI/TEDxUOFT

Diana Burchell

Sharing the story of her own disability following a traumatic brain injury, PhD candidate Burchell revealed the barriers that students with disabilities face in the education system. Her talk focused on the existing biases in the Canadian French Immersion Program in Canada. Through statistics, her own research, and heartbreaking quotes from mothers, she placed importance on rectifying these inequities by spreading the word about them.

Fahad Tariq

Tariq’s talk described an elegant solution to the global problem of sustainable energy—poop. Tariq founded the energy initiative “Shift” (“just take away the ‘f ’”) during his master’s degree.

Through Shift, his team has supplied several communities in developing countries like Pakistan and Uganda with biogas via anaerobic digestive systems that are powered by animal or human waste. “Reframe the way you think about waste,” Tariq encour-

Michèle Newton

Elizabeth Provost

The Medium’s Editor-in-Chief Elizabeth Provost delivered an earnest and engaging talk about the power of student journalism. “Words connect us,” she said, pointing out that words fuel more than just storytelling. “Words fuel movement, they fuel change, and they fuel individuals and communities to stand strong together.”

Supported by vibrant illustrations and photo-collages created by The Medium’s Design Editor, Manjot Pabla, Provost described her journey of getting involved with The Medium— from a screenshot of her first embarrassing email to her role as Editor-in-Chief. She placed focus on how student journalism can serve as a reminder that students are not alone. She also touched on how The Medium operates. “We understand that it might be difficult for students to approach us with their opinion, so we approach them,” she explained, describing how pitches are sent out to writers each week.

One of the highlights of Provost’s talk was when she touched on the history of The Medium, going back 53 years to when it was called The Erindalian. Her words reminisced on memorable and ground-breaking stories—including a 1974 murder, and the discovery of a body near campus in 1991. But what was most compelling about Provost’s speech was its relatability— any student could listen to it and feel a little burst of familiarity.

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sports & health

Editor | Alisa Samuel sports@themedium.ca

Fathema Shaikh has that leadership spirit In November 2022, alongside three other student-athletes, UTM Sports spotlighted Fathema with an Instagram post for her performance, passion, and growth.

Melody Yang Associate Sports & Health Editor

“I

started my athletic career with swimming and track when I was seven years old,” says Fathema Shaikh, a fourth-year biology specialist at the University of Toronto Mississauga (UTM). Scouted to play for the UTM women’s basketball team years later, Shaikh is the only one in her family to play competitive sports. “[This] was sometimes challenging, as no one else resonated with my journey,” she shares.

Despite misunderstandings, Shaikh remembers the love her family had showed her—the current motivation behind her drive for basketball. “From holding my hands and walking me to practice, driving hours for my away games, screaming in the stands [and] cheering me on, and lecturing me when I played bad on the drive back home. […] I appreciate them more than words can describe,” she says.

In her first year at UTM, Shaikh developed her athletic skills under the instruction of, in her words, “some amazing seniors and coaches.” Today, she is captain of the tri-campus women’s basketball team.

“As each year passed, I found myself becoming more and more confident in that I played up to my truest potential and led my team in various ways,” she shares.

Shaikh, however, did not necessarily have the smoothest sport

trajectory in university. Pushing through four back-to-back injuries, she missed games in her last season. “For someone who never missed a game due to injuries in the last 13 years, this took a toll on me, not just physically but also mentally,” Shaikh recounts the struggle of her rehabilitation journey. “At a point, you’re close to giving up, going through a cycle of self-doubt and underplaying all your efforts.”

Finding support in her coach, athletic therapists, and teammates, Shaikh learned the importance of personal care. “They had me smiling throughout and helped me discern many lessons […] I’ve learned to remain patient and strong, keep my head up, and continually push myself to come back stronger each time, because at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason.”

What is Shaikh’s best memory of playing for UTM? “Leading my team into an overtime game winner while dropping a season high of 26 points,” she says. As for what the future holds, Shaikh has no professional goals related to basketball, though she “would love to continue to play in fun competitive leagues even after graduating.”

To students who wish to get involved

in sports, Shaikh advises: “Just show up and do your best. Whether it is to have fun at drop-ins, or tryout for competitive teams, giving yourself a chance is better than doubting your abilities and limiting that

growth. You open yourself to a plethora of opportunities if you just give yourself a chance and step out of your comfort zone.”

Spoken like a true leader, both on and off the court.

SAMIRA KARIMOVA/THE MEDIUM

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Chocolate boosts sex drive?

Unwrapping the science behind lust and attraction Once used to treat fertility issues, aphrodisiacs are now popular gifts that set the Valentine’s Day mood.

Meghna Patil Contributor

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phrodisiacs do not come in the form of love potions, as commonly depicted in media. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, an aphrodisiac is “an agent (such as a food or drug) that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire [and enhance sexual performance].” The term is a derivation of Aphrodite, the name belonging to the ancient Greek goddess of love.

How exactly do aphrodisiacs affect the body, and is the effect as pronounced as it is made out to be? The central nervous system responds to external stimuli through touch, smell, and brain receptors, and thereby regulates sexual desire (libido).

However, there are three groups of aphrodisiacs that each produce different effects on the body. The first group immediately improves the health or wellbeing of the consumer with a surge of nutrients and increases libido and sexual performance. The second group demonstrates time-specific physiological effects that, like increased duration of sexual activity

BEATRIZ SIMAS/THE MEDIUM

by numbness of the genital area. The last group is composed of neurotransmitters, hormones, and drugs—aphrodisiacs that affect mental processes and behaviour. For example, dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters—chemical messengers in the brain that induce feelings of pleasure—may lead to greater arousal, geni-

tal reflexes, and copulation (sexual) instincts.

Foods that contain aphrodisiacs—or are aphrodisiacs themselves—include truffles, oysters, and chocolate.

Truffles are a well-known delicacy—the fruiting body of a type of fungus with an enticing smell. The steroidal compound in truffles

has been recognized as a pheromone (stimulating scent) that could lead to an increase of sexual arousal in women.

Oysters, seemingly unexpectant animalbased aphrodisiacs, contain zinc, an essential mineral for the production of testosterone (male sex hormone) and sperm. Additionally, oysters contain specific molecules that make proteins (amino acids) and serotonin, both of which assist the neural pathway of the pleasure response. This significantly influences an individual’s sexual arousal and desires.

Finally, perhaps the most common and popular aphrodisiac worldwide: chocolate. From Hershey’s Kisses to Godiva, chocolates can vary in levels of sweetness, aroma, and presentation.

Containing biogenic amines and cannabinoidlike fatty acids, chocolates are linked to increased serotonin levels in the brain. Additionally, chocolate consists of appealing sensory characteristics, such as an attractive aroma and unique flavours.

Some studies support the use of certain natural sexual enhancers, but more research is needed to expand on the benefits and drawbacks of plant-based, animal-based, and lesserdiscussed cannabis-based aphrodisiacs.

Trade deadline disappointment The February 9 trade deadline raises questions about performance success and failure for the Raptors.

Justyn Aleluia Columnist

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ince their championship run in 2019, the Raptors have been doomed with seasons of mediocracy. In 2020, they were seemingly on their way to a deep playoff run, but all momentum was lost after Covid-19 delayed the season. In 2021, the Raptors spent the season in Tampa Bay, where federal pandemic restrictions deemed them ineligible to host games in their home city of Toronto. That same year, some hope was gained after the team drafted Scottie Barnes with the fourth overall pick. Barnes later went on to earn the title of 2021/22 Rookie of the Year and led the Raptors to an unexpected playoff appearance.

The Raptors in their current season look unlikely to succeed. Fred VanVleet and Gary Trent Jr., two of the team’s core players, will be up for new contracts at the end of the season, which puts Raptors President of Basketball Operations Masai Ujiri and General Manager Bobby Webster under a lot of pressure from fans.

Going into the 2023 NBA trade deadline, the Raptors were 10th in the Eastern Conference and narrowly owned a spot in the play-in tournament. But the team’s inconsistencies and

some poor individual performances by a few starters have left fans and management in a tough spot heading into the trade deadline. Their situation between “contenders” and “lottery pick hopefuls” left the fanbase divided between embracing a rebuild or hoping for a retool.

Since the week of February 5, 2023, it’s rumoured that O.G. Anunoby, another core player, is unhappy with his role in Toronto. One league executive hinted that Anunoby would be “the best available player at the deadline.” Rumours also surrounded VanVleet, who fans hoped would be traded for assets rather than walking for nothing in free agency.

Despite high expectations for the deadline, Ujiri and Webster ended the day with mediocre results and an unclear direction for the future. At 12:51 AM on Thursday, February 9, 2023, they sent Canadian player Khem Birch two future second-round picks and a protected 2024 first-round pick to the Spurs in return for Jakob Poeltl, a quality centre on both ends of the court. The early trade left Raptors fans falsely excited, as this exchange was the only move that the team made.

The addition of Poeltl fulfills the team’s dire need for a centre, but it doesn’t push the roster close to contention, nor does it offer any hope of success in the future. The truth is, there’ll be a vacancy for the guard position in the offseason when Trent Jr. or VanVleet leave due to salary restraints, and with

Toronto’s lacklustre track record when it comes to free agency, it looks like the Raptors could be headed toward another season of mediocracy.

They say the worst place to be in sports is in the middle: too good to draft high, but too bad to make a deep playoff run. After the trade deadline, the Raptors appear to remain in this dreadful limbo. With the team’s success in mind, the only solution now seems to be a major roster reconstruction. The Raptor’s rest-of-season performance should be decisive, or else fans will be waiting until the offseason to gain some hope.

ROCKY WIDNER/NBA

Ken G

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