PARENTHOOD

by David W. Proefrock, PhD

Your 16 year-old son wants to get a part-time job after school or on weekends. He has always managed to get by in school but is not making the kind of grades you think he should be. You are afraid a job will lower the grades he is making now. What do you do?

A. Be glad that he wants to work. Let him get a job.

B. If he doesn’t have to work to help the family, there’s no reason for him to take time away from his studies. Don’t let him get a job until he demonstrates much better grades.

C. Arrange jobs around the house for him so he can earn extra money. Jobs at home are less likely to interfere with his grades because you control his schedule.

D. Allow him to get a job on the condition that if his grades drop below their current level, he will have to quit.

If you answered:

A. This is a good response if you add the condition that he will have to maintain his current grades in order to keep the job.

B. Working is good for kids, and they should be encouraged to work if they are able to maintain their grades. Figure out a way for him to work but to also maintain his studies.

C. Working at home does not teach the same lessons as working outside the home. Most of the time, the parent/child employee arrangement leads to problems.

D. This is the best choice. It recognizes both the importance of learning the lessons that employment teaches and the importance of education.

Real employment is almost always good for kids. It teaches responsibility, dependability, and positive relationship skills. Earning your own money contributes to self-esteem and confidence.

Dr. Proefrock is a retired local clinical and forensic child psychologist.

OUR NEXT ISSUE: APRIL 21