Melbourne Observer. 120418A. April 18, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-26, Pages 39-46

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Observer GOLD LOGIE JOY STATE EDITION Vol 44 No 1466 SERVING VICTORIA SINCE 1969

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LATEST SHOWBIZ NEWS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2012

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■ Tony Bennett scores a kiss from Denise Drysdale

Page 16

NEW FOOD BOOK Page 10

RACING: WE TOLD YOU SO

■ Above: Johanna Griggs accepts Better Homes and Gardens’ Logie

Page 59

■ Hamish Blake accepts the 2012 Gold Logie at this week’s awards presentations held at Crown. Report, more pictures on Page 3, 9, 11 and 12

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Observer ISSN 1447 4611

■ Above: Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson at the Logies podium ■ Far left: Shaun Micallef announces the Gold Logie winner ■ At left: Esther Anderson (Home And Away) awaits the announcement

VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

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Melbourne Observer

W hen you lose someone you love you don’ don’tt need someone telling you how it is is..

You need ggenuine enuine empathy and sup port. support.

You need clear arrang ement details arrangement details..

You need things done the way you want. eel included Most of all you need to ffeel - lik amily. likee a ffamily.

How do we know?

Because that’ hat we do that’ss w what do..

T ender Moments - Tender Care

9369 4919 24 Hour Service Altona - Laverton - Werribee www.candlepines.com.au

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 3

Breaking News

LAWYER FORGED WIFE’S SIGNATURE

HAMISH WINS GOLD LOGIE

Frankston’s night in Vienna

● Jack Nicolson, who attends Focus Adult Disability Support, with his mother, mezzo soprano Lucy Nicolson.

■ To assist promoting Autism Awareness turing songs from Viennese operetta, Rogers Month, Melbourne City Opera mezzo so- and Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music and prano Lucy Nicolson is hosting A Night in a Marlene Dietrich tribute.

Vienna at The Boathouse, 366-388 Nepean Joining Lucy Nicolson will be the Von Highway, Frankston on Monday (April 23) Trapp Family Children’s Ensemble. Tickat 6.30pm drinks for 7.00pm dinner and show. ets: $85, include the three course dinner and This Austrian themed event will include floor show. Bookings are essential. Call 9770 a three course dinner and live floor show, fea 5330.

■ Lawyer Graeme Jackson has been penalised $5000 plus $3552 costs after admitting forging his wife’s signature on documents.

Jackson pleaded guilty to professional misconduct after making a false document, and using it on six occasions. He was reprimanded when appearing before Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal Senior Member Jonathan Smithers.

The Tribunal heard that Jackosn had pleaded guilty at Ballarat Court, after his forged wife’s signature was discovered on Australian Securities and Investments Commission documents used to register a company, which would be trustee of his family trust.

Jackson also forged his wife’s signature on tax refund cheques, and deposited them into a bank account.

“It is alleged that (Jackson’s) conduct would be reasonably regarded as disgracefuil and dishonourable by professional brethren of good repute and competency,” Mr Smithers said.

The marriahe broke down, and the divorce was a bitter one, the Tribunal heard. His wife had worked for him as a legal secretary.

“Clients, courts and other instititions rely on solicitors being utterly honest in all their dealings,” Mr Smithers said.

PENSIONER, 69, REFUSED TOW TRUCK LICENCE It’s All About You!

Melbourne

Observer In This 64-Page Edition

News: Bankrupt lawyer faces Tribunal .... Page 5 Report: Victorian teacher struck off ...... Page 5 Melbourne People: Been and seen ........ Page 6 Melb. Confidential: Closures at paper .... Page 9 Di Rolle: Rob Mascara’s 40th birthday ... Page 10 Long Shots: Return to Bali Ha’i ........... Page 12 New Column: Family and friends .......... Page 12 Outback Legend: Nick Le Souef ........... Page 16 Readers Club: Pages From The Past ..... Page 18 Melb. Trader: Free reader ads ............. Page 27 People Pix: Old school ties ................ Page 39 ASTRA nominees Independent theatre Movies and DVDs Country music

Observer Showbiz

Rape case goes to trial ■ There is enough evidence to convict three men of the gang rape of a 21-year-old Bendigo mother, a magistrate has ruled.

Magistrate Richard Wright has committed Mohammed Elnour, 19, Akoak Manon, 19, and Mohammed Zaoli, 21, to stand trial on a series of charges including 14 of rape.

■ A 69-year-old pensioner is considered not to be of appropriate character to hold accreditation as a tow truck driver.

Kenneth Parfrey was refused accreditation after he appealed to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal over a VicRoads decision to disqualify him for three years.

VCAT Senior Member Gerard Butcher was told that a National Police Certificate check last year disclosed numerous convictions, aminly for theft6, in the 1960s.

“As a result of these convictions, it is clear from the sentences that Mr Parfery served considerable periods of imprisonment,” Mr Butcher said.

In 2009, Parfrey pleaded guilty before the County Court to five counts including imposing on the Commonwealth, defrauding the Commonwealth, and one count of obtaining a financial advantage.

The Tribunal was told that Parfrey fraudulently received payments from Centrelink, in the false name of James Johnson from 1983 to 1987, and from 1989 to 2006.

VCAT heard that Parfrey received unemployment benefits whilst either being employed or receiving workers compensation payments from his job at Australian National Lines.

Parfrey had received sickness benefits, an invalid pension, a disability support pension, then an aged pension, as well as Centrelink payments in his own name.

The overpayments had totalled $202,633, with just over half re-paid.

VCAT was told that Parfrey was an alcoholic, but he denied this. Mr Butcher said he was prepared to accept Parfrey’s drinking is presently under control.

Parfrey had suffered from chronic depression with anxiety for 40 years. His intellectual function is imparied, Mr Butcher said.

● One Direction performs at the Logies ■ Hamish Blake won the Gold Logie at the Australian television industry’s big night held at Crown on Sunday.

Other Gold Logie contenders were Karl Stefanovic, Adam Hills, Asher Keddie, Carrie Bickmore, and Esther Anderson.

Award winners: Silver Logie – Most Popular Actress: Asher Keddie Silver Logie – Most Popular Actor: Hugh Sheridan Most Popular Light Entertainment Program: Hamish and Andy’s Gap Year (Nine Network) Most Popular Factual Program: Bondi Rescue (Ten Network) Most Popular Sports Program: 2011 AFL Grand Final (Ten Network) Most Outstanding Sports Coverage: State of Origin III (Nine Network) Silver Logie - Most Popular Presenter: Adam Hills (ABC) ● Turn To Page 11

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

Big Geelong drug raid ■ Two Leopold men were remanded in custody after Police uncovered what is believed to be one of the biggest drug hauls found in the Geelong region

Laptop allegations ■ A computer technician at Wangaratta High School was allegedly caught red handed, trying to steal 11 laptops.

Banned from the footy ■ Ballarat Football League has banned two Melton South supporters from attending matches of the 2012 season for abusing indigenous community leaders

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 COMMENTS HEARD DURING THE LOGIES 5. "You need to go to SpecSavers.

That's not a Logie. That's Steve Price!".

4. "Yes, the Channel 10 table is BYO".

3. "Things must be tough. Look at the waiter ... it's John Burgess".

2. "Is it true that Channel 9 plans a new show based on the renovation of an old Cadbury's factory called Choc A Block?".

1. "It's Wednesday ... has the show finished yet?"

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

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Mark Richardson ♥

Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

INSPIRATIONAL PORCH THOUGHTS I am really inspired by the story of Joe Simpson. He wrote Touching The Void, about his attempt to climb Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes with one of his closest friends.

On their way down from the summit they ran into treacherous weather, Simpson fell and shattered his leg - a veritable death sentence.

Simpson faced an epic battle for survival. I don't want to give the end of the story away but Simpson imparts some life changing advice on the power of decision making.

Whenever I feel scared or defeated, I refer to that passage for inspiration and motivation.

You are a successful lawyer, chartered accountant, Master of NLP and Clinical Hypnotherapist and have appeared on CNN, Bnet/CBS, Channel 7, Channel 9, Kochie's Business Builders and 3AW. You write for various organisations including Yahoo and MYOB, so

Rhondalynn Korolak ■ Rhondalynn Korolak is the author of On The Shoulders Of Giants; a book I recently discovered on my friend’s coffee table on his porch and couldn't put down.

It is a creative and inspiring story that proves we CAN BE, DO and HAVE anything we set our minds to.

It's about what really works and WHY. Following the success of her previous book and audio series; Financial Foreplay and Imagineering Your Destiny, Rhondalynn parted her wisdom with the Melbourne Observer for an exclusive Porch Thought Interview at her favourite café, St Ali in South Melbourne.

I detect a very distinct accent, where did grow up?

I am originally from Calgary, Alberta, Canada but I have called Melbourne home now for just over nine years.

Sixteen years ago, I understand you received a call that your mother had been brutally murdered, and that you knew the person who was responsible; how did this tragedy influence your book?

It took a lot for me to sit down and write this book. There were memories and emotions I had deliberately locked away and hid from friends and colleagues.

There was a huge part of me that didn't want anyone to know what had happened.

But a very wise friend of mine convinced me that I needed to share my story - that by doing it I would empower and inspire others to leave their own past and perceived limitations behind.

How manage to cope with this turmoil in your life?

The people who made the biggest impact in my life and who carried me when I thought I couldn't walk another step were just every day people - a teacher, grandparent, next door neighbour or childhood friend.

These everyday heroes profoundly touched my life and changed its course, without ever really knowing the gift they have given.

Do we really need another selfhelp book?

We definitely don't need more books that are a regurgitation of quotes from famous people.

What we do need more of is real

● Rhondalynn Korolak life stories of everyday people (like time of conditioning - every event that you and I) who have overcome we have ever experienced and what seemingly insurmountable obstacles. we have chosen to make them mean They show us that anything is pos- for our future.

Self sabotage is the sole reason sible and that we can become who we are truly meant to be because of that most of us are not living the life (not despite) our greatest fears and that we say we want to have.

And the good news is - self sabochallenges.

I know a lot of people can be tage is reversible! Our minds can be sceptical about the concepts of The re-trained over time to produce the Secret or the "law of attraction" results we want.

How can people change the rethat your book explores - those ideas seem a bit too metaphysical sults that they have right now?

If you want to know what you and ambiguous. Can you really help people make changes in their were thinking yesterday about wealth, health, relationships etc, all lives for the better?

My story proves that it is not what you need to do is look at your results happens to you that matters - it's what today.

By making an effort to expand you decide to do about it, and who you become because of it, not de- your thinking and develop new and positive habits, you can expand the spite of it.

Let's say that some people feel toolkit of your mind and ensure that like they may be sabotaging their you have far more choice in how you own success - what wisdom or strat- treat the events and situations that egies can you share to help them fix arise.

What is the easiest way for me to this problem for once and for all?

We sabotage our own success change my life right now, today?

The easiest way to change your because our minds are wired that way: S abotage is an automatic life is to change the questions that response of the subconscious. The you repeatedly ask yourself and the subconscious is very powerful and it meanings that you have attributed to can only ACT or CREATE based the difficult events or adversity in your past. upon what is of value to us.

Who inspires you and why?

That value is determined by a life

what's next for Rhondalynn Korolak?

I'm currently working on a sequel to Financial Foreplay and I will also launch in May a new version of a cloud software that I designed which analyses the financial statements of a small business and shows the owner what to do to grow it safely and profitably.

If you could invite anyone to your Porch, who would it be and why?

Meeting Nick Vujicic would definitely be a life-changing moment for me. Nick was born in 1982, right here in Melbourne, without any arms of legs.

He now lives in America and inspires audiences around the world to overcome their disabilities and challenges.

What is your 'Porch Thought' of the day?

It's never too late to become the person you were meant to be.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 5

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Breaking News

Financial Planning

BANKRUPT LAWYER FACES TRIBUNAL Briefs To jail ■ Benjamin Edward Schultz, 24, who led police on a high-speed chase while a loaded rifle lay on the back seat of his car has been jailed for 15 months.

Pill find

■ Suspected ecstasy pills were seized by Albury Police after searching a car and motel rooms at the weekend.

Spider bite ■ Observer columnist Yvonne Lawrence is in the wars yet again this time Yvonne is suffering from a dreadful spider bite. Yvonne promises her column will return soon.We wish her a speedy recovery.

● Yvonne Lawrence

■ Nigel Mark Turner, a member of the Victorian Bar, must pay a $5000 fine and $8233 costs, after appearing before the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal over failure to lodge 10 years of tax returns.

Turner had pleaded guilty to professional misconduct relating to his faiolure to lodge on-time income tax returns, BAS returns, his several convictions, and his being made bankrupt.

VCAT Member Gerard Butcher was told Turner had incurred an upnpaid GST bill totalling $63,460. Additionally, Turner’s overall tax liability was $47,375.

It was said Turner’s delinquency in taxation materrs arose from the breakdown of his marriage.

He was expected to be discharged from bankruptcy this month.

Syncopators at Surrey Music Cafe with Jon and Andrew Rancie of Rancie McLean Financial Planning Level 4, 420 Collins Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Phone: 9671 4990

Dollar Cost Averaging Does It Work?

● The Syncopators are playing at the Surrey Music Café. From left: Jeff Arthur, Peter Gaudion, Richard Miller, James Clark, Andrew Swann, Chris Ludowyk, Stephen Grant.

■ The Syncopators, one of Melbourne’s best known Trad Jazz Bands, will feature the music of the masters such as Satchmo, the Duke, Mills Brothers and Louis Prima.This seven piece jazz band is long renowned throughout Melbourne for quality and style and will present classic trad jazz of the 1920s and 30s, through the swing years, up to the pre-rock jump jive era.Tickets: $18 from Whitehorse Centre, Nunawading 9262 6555 or online www.surreymusic.com

TEACHER’S ‘SERIOUS MISCONDUCT’ Trask at Brighton East Probus

● Observer columnist Kevin Trask was guest speaker at the Brighton East Probus Club meeting at the Bentleigh Club, talking about Diana Trask and his career in showbusiness.

Pictured, from left, are Kevin Trask, Les Severino, Wilma Warren, Nancy Dowling and Frank Dwyer.

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

■ Victorian school teacher Chad Andrew Anderson, 31, has had his regsitrarton cancelled.

Anne Sarros, Chair of the Disciplinary Proceedings Committee of the Victorian Institute of Teaching, advised last Thursday of the cancellation.

Anderson was found by the Institute to be guilty of serious misconduct and unfit to teach.

Under law, the Institute may find a teacher has engaged in serious misconduct, has been seriously incompetent and/ or is not fit to teach and may decide to cancel the registration of the teacher.

Valuable lessons can sometimes be lost due to emotional responses created from short-term volatility and disruption. It can be so frustrating!

One of the most straightforward strategies that can be utilised to assist client portfolios in times of high frustration and volatility is that of dollar cost averaging.

Dollar cost averaging is an investment strategy that can be used with any investment. Dollar cost averaging involves investing equal monetary amounts regularly over specific time periods (such as $100 monthly) in a particular investment or portfolio.

By doing so, more shares are purchased when prices are low and fewer shares are purchased when prices are high. The point of this is to lower the total average cost per share of the investment, giving the investor a lower overall cost for the shares purchased over time.

The really interesting thing with dollar cost averaging actually works better in volatile markets rather than those that gradually increase.

As investors we all prefer markets like those from 2003 to early 2008 when despite the odd “market correction” along the way the overall direction was pointing up.

Since the start of 2008 and the global financial crisis volatility has been ever present. 1% to 2% swings on a regular basis have coursed a significant amount of stress but interestingly enough some of us have become a little conditioned to it!

That’s a discussion for another time.

An example of a dollar cost averaging strategy is where $100 is invested over five time periods.

The market price of the investment begins at $10, falls to $7.50, falls further to $5.50 before bouncing back to $11 before settling back at $10. In other words the market over the five investment periods has ended where it started.

The bad news about dollar cost averaging is that some times you will be buying into a market at high prices although you will also be buying in at low points, which is where you essentially make your money.

In this case, at the end of the period by dollar cost averaging the investment portfolio was worth $606. Keep in mind, $500 was invested and the market ended where it started.

Foxtel fined ■ Foxtel Management Pty Ltd has paid seven infringement notices totalling $46,200 regarding advertising of its Christmas Sale which the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission believed was misleading.

Foxtel ran a nationwide advertising campaign which included a prominent headline that customers could acquire a Foxtel subscription for $55 per month on a six-month contract.The price rose to $77 in the second six months.

If you had invested the same amount in a market that rose steadily from $10 in $1 increments to $14, you would have had a portfolio worth close to $591.

The average cost of the dollar cost averaged portfolio was $8.25 compared to $11.83 for the gradually increasing market.

What we quickly learn here is less about the end portfolio value and more about overcoming our natural behaviour. We generally feel good about investing when markets are trending up steadily.

Markets that are volatile unsettle us and create doubt about the wisdom of investing and have us second-guess our decisions.

A disciplined investment approach like dollar cost averaging helps overcome that natural behavioural that wants us to try and time the market, which is fraught with danger.

As always, if you would like to review your personal financial situation we would be happy to meet with you initially, at our expense.

Jon & Andrew Rancie are Authorised Representatives of Australian Financial Services (AFSL: No. 297239) Note: In this article we have not considered your personal situation nor your goals or objectives. You should not base your future investment decisions on the content of this article. Before you invest your hard earned money you should consult a Financial Adviser and have your situation reviewed, clarified and agree to a strategy for investing for the future.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Lyn heads to London

● Lyn Robinson

■ Lyn Robinson, an engineering coordinator at Crowne Plaza Melbourne has been given a once-ina-lifetime opportunity to take part in the Olympic Torch Relay ahead of the 2012 London Games. The 53-year-old Crowne Plaza employee was nominated by her manager, Robin Power.

People Melbourne

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Fax: 1-800 231 312

On the right wave length

● Roy Hampson met with Hillel Benedykt, Deputy Grand Master of Freemasons Victoria, at the Croydon studios of Radio Eastern 98.1, for the Matinee program hosted by Ray Lawrence. Story, photo on Page 50.

Happy birthday

■ Singer Maria Venuti was a welcome guest at the 40th birthday party for Melbourne TV celebrity Rob ‘Belvedere’ Mascara. Rob is pictured just prior to blowing out the candles. More photos on Page 40.

Photo: Sue Deenim

● Cheryl Barker in the title role of Opera Australia’s Manon Lescaut ■ Classical music radio station, 3MBS-FM takes listeners behind the scenes this Sunday (6pm, Tropic Island Discs) to meet internationally acclaimed Australian soprano, Cheryl Barker, ■ Melbourne entertainer Don Crawford hosted a Cheryl is the special guest in the program, where a Good Friday Fish Fry for many friends on the Easter prominent Australian identity talks about life and mulong weekend. The party included a visit by a cossic. tumed Mr E. Bunny. More photos on Page 40.

She speaks with Melbourne Observer arts writer Julie Houghton, who will host the one-hour interview and music program.

Cheryl will talk about her life in music, along with her equally famous opera singer husband, Peter Coleman-Wright.

Cheryl and Peter met as teenagers at high school in Geelong, and later attended the Victorian College of the Arts, where Cheryl began her singing studies with a lady who was to become her great mentor, the late Dame Joan Hammond.

Cheryl had her first professional break as a member of the Victoria State Opera chorus at the age of 19, but she kept her day job as a teller with the ANZ Bank, which was most supportive of her juggling act in running two jobs.

In 1984 Cheryl moved to London with husband Peter, and as the years passed they both became in-demand soloists with major English and European companies.

Cheryl has recently released another CD, Pure Diva with Melba Recordings, which is a tribute to Dame Joan Hammond.

Find out more at 6pm on Sunday on 3MBS-FM, 3MBS ● Heath and Diana Simons Digital or online at www.3mbs.org.au

Egg-cellent!

Yearly reunion

Sue signs on at Library

● Sue Roberts

■ Sue Roberts, the State Library ofVictoria’s new Chief Executive Officer and State Librarian, has taken up her position.

Ms Roberts comes to the role with 15 years’ experience in strategic library leadership in the UK and New Zealand.

She relocated to Melbourne from Wellington, where she has been University Librarian at Victoria University since 2007.

● Rob Vinnard on keyboards Photos: Gigi Hellmuth

■ Melbourne Observer Editor Ash Long was pictured with Geoffrey Davey when Ivanhoe Grammarians hosted Old Scotch Collegians for their yearly combined meeting. More photos on Page 39.

Photo: Rahim Samat

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 7

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Melbourne Observer

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 9

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Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

LOGIES GLAMOUR

Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets

Cocktails in courtyard

● Adam Hills

● Asher Keddie

● Rhiannon Fish

Whispers

Fined

■ Fo o t s c r ay restaurant operators have been fined $72,000 for exploiting a cook recruited from India.

Taj Palace Tandoori Indian Restaurant Pty Ltd was fined $60,000. Manager and partowner Nathi Singh Rawat, of Sydenham, was fined $12,000.

Service ● Darren Fishman and Suzanne Carbone Photo: Sue Deenim ■ Observed sharing cocktails and Fish Bites® in the courtyard of the Vineyard Bar and Restaurant at St Kilda were businessman Darren Fishman and celebrity columnist Suzanne Carbone.

Kev’s star story topped

● Esther Anderson

● Megan and Paul Castran

Seal of approval ■ Entertainer ‘Seal’, now being seen on Channel 9’s The Voice, was so taken by one Melbourne female reporter, that he became quite tactile. The interview was very touchyfeely for a while.

VIC. GROUPS LOSE STATUS

● Hedy Lamarr ■ Observer columnist Kevin Trask received a shock last week after his column about Hollywood star Hedy Lamaar.

Kev was talking about the film star, as he gave a talk at a Melbourne retirement village, and a lady in the audience was able to better his story.

He tells:“I was giving a talk on my cousin Diana Trask at a retirement village last week and I mentioned that I written the article and talked about Hedy Lamarr.

“Can you imagine my shock when a lady in the audience stood up and told me that she went to school with Hedy Lamarr in Vienna.

“Gertrude Langham said that Hedy was in her class at primary school and recalled her memories of the young girl whose name was Hedwig Kiesler at that time.

“Both girls escaped from Europe and went to England just prior to the Holocaust.”

■ A number of Victorian organisations have had their incorporation status cancelled, says Deputy Registrar David Betts.

A notice in last week’s edition of the Victoria Government Gazette advises that the cancellations apply to: Mildura Business ExcellenceAwards Inc., Bellarine Futsal Club Inc., Sportsnet Inc., Probus Club of Geelong West Inc., United Warriors Cricket Club Inc. Circolo Giovanile Italiano Inc., Sea Lake Croquet Club Inc., Invergordon Tennis Club Inc., Bed & Breakfast Association of Phillip Island & Bass Coast Inc., Australian Dingo Breeding Inc., Arachne Craft Group Inc., Hopetoun Badminton Association Inc., The Heyfield Hub Business Inc., Aceldean Sacred Heart Society Inc., Southern Right Aquatics Inc., Goulburn Valley Men’s Issue Group (G.V.M I.G) Inc. L N Inc., Latrobe Group of Pony Clubs Inc., Sunraysia Canary Society Inc., Grampians Regional Manufacturing & Industry Group Inc., The Peninsula Women’s Fund Inc., Macedonian Aged Care Inc. Dumbalk Tennis Club Inc., Save Our Park Inc., Iven’s Reserve Committee of Management Inc., Recreational Environment Group Inc., Leadership South West Inc., East African Refugee Relief Organisation-Australia Inc., Matured Aged Activity Group Inc., Hopetoun Mens Basketball Association Inc., Alternatives to Empire Inc., Medley Mag Inc., Northern Film Network Inc., Australian Agricultural and Allied Equipment Forum (AAAEF) Inc., The TGG Eucalypt Committee Inc., Inspirational Quilts Inc., and Performance American Bulldog Club Inc.

● Shelley Craft

Rumour Mill Hear It Here First

Your Trading Room closes ■ Provisional liquidators have been appointed to financial services company, Your Trading Room Pty Ltd, following an application by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission.

The appointment follows ASIC enquiries when revealed that the company had no director and had vacated its Australian business premises.

Simon Vertullo and Damian Templeton, of KPMG, were appointed as provisional liquidators by the Court to secure the assets and records of the company.

Closures at paper groups ■ The weekly Star Trader newspaper has closed.

The paid-circulation 48-page paper was on sale throughout newsagencies across Victoria every Friday. It sold less than 2000 copies. It lasted 95 editions.

Its publishers, the Star News Group, have also closed offices at Berwick and Kilmore over the past month. The giant Leader group closed a similar publication, Leader Friday Trader, last year.

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

● Sheila Scotter ■ The funeral service for Sheila Scotter is due to be held at 11.30am this Friday (Apr. 20) at St Silas Anglican Church, Albert Park. She is to be buried in a favourite white quilted dressing gown.

Jail term ■ Craig Douglas Terrick and Matthew Andy have been found guilty of a vicious assault on a lone tyraffic officer. Terrick was sentenced to 15 months in a youth justice centre. Andy will be sentenced later.

Denied ■ Cr Frank Penhalluriack, of Glen Eira, is denying claims of misconduct in which he is accused of conflict of interest and bullying.

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Happy 40th, Rob!

● Maria Venuti’s daughter Bianca with Mal Walden ■ I remember turning 40 and was so shocked at the thought that I was out of my teens, twenties and thirties, I was living in Sydney at the time and doing PR for Channel Nine and the Sydney Swans (oh dear it was a few years ago) but I do remember I had a wonderful party, lots of music, lots of fabulous dresses and good looking footballers if I remember!

It was a special time. My apartment looked over the harbour and I remember everyone had a great celebration!

French romantic poet, novelist and dramatist Victor Hugo wrote “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age’.

It was party time for my dear friend Rob Mascara, known to everyone on television as ‘Belvedere’, a name given to him by Bert Newton during Rob’s time on Good Morning Australia as Bert’s loveable floor manager.

Rob turned 40 last week and threw a fabulous birthday party for his friends. The gorgeous invitation of Rob at age 6, in Grade 1 in 1978 read : “Little Robbie grew up full of cheer and TV became his career, it was on GMA that we first heard Bert say, Oh come over here Belvedere!”

There waS A beautiful birthday cake that had to be seen to be believed (from AbFab cakes in Kew).

When your cake just has to be absolutely right, you cannot go past AbFab! Rob organised everything: the music, the food, the guests, the invites, the red carpet out the front of the venue which everyone loved and walked proudly!

All guests were met by handsome security guys in black suits, (always a good look at a party!)

Mon Bijou in Flinders Lane was the venue, it looked fantastic when we all walked into the room, candles on the bar and all around the room and stunning lighting and champagne galore – it was a very classy night.

Speeches and laughter a plenty lovely guests including Mal and Pauline Walden, Maria Venuti (who sang Happy Birthday a la Marilyn Monroe), the gorgeous Musical director John Foreman, Rob’s mother Joanne (who Bert used to talk about a lot on the show), Rob’s sister Pina and her husband Richard, John Michael Howson, Joe Avarti and lots of gorgeous mates of Rob’s.

A highlight with the emphasise on light was when the beautiful Di Gillet, wife of George Donikian was standing talking to me, she looked so beautiful, she always does. sHE has to be one of the best dressed women in Australia and was wearing a beautiful black jacket which was feathered all over.

She and I were chatting. She turned to speak to George which meant she had her back to me and she was in flames!

I couldn’t believe my eyes – so without thinking I put my right hand all over her jacket to get the flames out and for what seemed minutes but was only seconds fire was put out by me, one InDIana Jones!

I couldn’t believe how quickly it travelled and had it not been picked up quicker it would have been one HOT Good Friday night!

Rob is much loved and everyone had a great time!

Suzanne Carbone, a good friend, who writes the Postcode 3000 column for The Age was also at the party,having a great time.

My hand is better and I have the best creams for burn., I am right for life now in case it ever happens - and I hope it doesn’t again!

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

To

Di

I love my job!

Di Rolle is heard most Mondays with Andrew McLaren on 3AW, just after the 1am quiz.

For CHRISTI JOINS SUNDAY FOOTY SHOW

■ I make no secret of how Before The Game is my favourite football show on telly.

However, I was impressed to see that Christi Malthouse has joined The Sunday Footy Show for 2012 and started last Sunday at 11am on Channel 9.

Joining fellow new additions Simon O’Donnell and Matthew Lloyd, Christi delivers all the latest news from the sports world both in Australia and abroad in the weekly Sunday Footy Show sports update.

The daughter of recently retired Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse is no stranger to the football world after working for many years as a boundary rider and was one of the first female reporters to break through into the world of AFL coverage.

Joining regulars Billy Brownless, Shane Crawford, Nathan Brown and Damian Barrett, the respected sports journalist who also previously worked as a sports commentator on the Today Show, returns to the Nine Network after taking a hiatus from her media career to care for her young children.

Go Christi!

Lots of fun ■ Well I didn’t score a guernsey this year to the Logies, which doesn’t worry me as I have been to the Logies about 12 times during my career.

I love it on the telly though and have great fun SMSng my friends whilst we are watching.

It’s a great night and always a lot of fun!

I also haven’t put

myself up for an audition for the fabulous show Cabaret De Paris coming to Palms At Crown.

Cabaret De Paris is a burlesque extravaganza featuring the beautiful Moulin Rouge star Marissa Burgess who will be in town to appear at the show on Saturday, May 26 at 8pm.

Book at Ticketek on 132 849 , www. ticketek.com.au The Palms at Crown tickets are from $74.50 Auditions for showgirls to appear with Marissa are on today (Wed., Apr. 18) at 3pm at Patrick Studios Australia, 2/359 Plummer St, Port Melbourne.

I am considering popping along, think it would be fun to attend.

Cabaret ■ In case you don’t know about Marisa, I

● Christi Malthouse must tell you about her.

After a record length stint in Paris, the real-life star of Moulin Rouge is now in Australia to finally perform for her home audience.

She has a huge following and this will be a chance to fall under the charm of this legendary showgirl, the toast of Paris and the international image of the most famous cabaret in the world!

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

Australia’s gastronomic heritage by South Australian author Barbara Santich.

“Barbara Santich …. author, historian, all-round font of food wisdom,” said John Lethlean from The Australian, in a spot on description.

Barbara, who has

written a really fabulous book.

In Bold Palates, Professor Barbara Santich focuses on Australia’s gastronomic heritage.

She describes how, from earliest colonial days, the nation’s cooks have improvised and invented, not only adopting and domesticating indigenous ingredients but also transforming and ‘Australianising’ foods and recipes from other countries, laying the foundations of a distinctive food culture along the way.

Bold Palates tells the stories behind the foods and recipes and the ways of cooking and eating that represent characteristic Australian responses to unique Australian situations.

This revealing book explores the perennial quest to identify our national cuisine.

The range of dishes proposed over the years is not surprisingly broad: from meat pies and Vegemite on toast (yum) to ANZAC biscuits and pavlova.

Book launched ■ Speaking of gorgeous food and lovely people, I was invited to a wonderful book launch during the week.

However it was in Adelaide, and still nursing a sore hand from my putting out fires at parties, I couldn’t attend.

The book launch was for a book called Bold Palates,

● Marisa Burgess

Game and bush tucker also get a mention.

What makes the Australian barbecue characteristically Australian?

Why are pumpkin scones an Australian icon? (yum) How did eating lamb become a patriotic gesture?

And why are Australian cooks so ready to experiment, adapt and innovate?

Bold Palates is lovingly researched and extensively illustrated.

I certainly picked up from the author a deeper understanding of Australian identity by examining the way we eat.

Raised on meat and three veg I love Australian cooking, its comfort food.

I felt reading through it that it was not simply a gastronomic history, her book is also a history of Australia and Australians.

“Australia’s leading culinary historian ….both a scholar and passionate practitioner of food writing.’ is how Professor Donna Lee Brien, from Central Queensland University describes Barbara Santich as an internationally renowned food historian whose research and writing explores the role of food in culture.

She teaches courses in food writing and food history and culture at the University of Adelaide.

Bold Palates published by Wakefield Press, is available at all good bookstores for $49.95

More photos from Rob’s party are on P40

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 11

Logies Souvenir

54th TV Week Logies Night Crown Melbourne Photos: Murray Howard-Brooks, Sue Deenim, Ash Long

Logie winners

● Hamish Blake and Andy Lee

● Susie Elelman walks the red carpet

● Carrie Bickmore of The Project

● Jacki Weaver and Derryn Hinch

● Chrissie Swan

● Donna Demaio and Jackie Epstein

● Continued from Page 3 Most Outstanding Children’s Program: My Place (ABC3) Graham Kennedy Award For Most Outstanding New Talent: Chelsea Preston Crayford Most Popular New Male Talent: Steve Peacocke (Darryl ‘Brax’ Braxton, Home and Away) Most Outstanding Factual Program: Go Back To WhereYou Came From (SBS) Most Popular New Female Talent: Melissa Bergland (Winners and Losers) Silver Logie - Most Outstanding Logie: Rob Carlton (Paper Giants) Most Outstanding Public Affairs Report: A Bloody Business, Four Corners (ABC) Silver Logie - Most Outstanding Actress: Melissa George (The Slap, ABC) Most Popular Lifestyle Program: Better Homes and Gardens (Seven Network) Most Popular Drama Series: Packed To the Rafters (Seven Network) Silver Logie - Most Outstanding Drama: The Shap (ABC1) Gold Logie: Hamish Blake (Hamish & Andy’s Gap Year, Nine Network)

● Hamish Blake is congratulated by on-air partner Andy Lee

They said it ...

● Delta Goodrem

● Rove McManus on the red carpet

● Megan Gale

● Kat Stewart

● Melissa Bergland

● John Wood and Suzanne Carbone

■ @EmRusciano: Flo Rida is wearing leather with no foundation garments. I'm tipping armpit thrush for someone tomorrow ■ @LukeDennehy: Prue and Trude may steal the Logies show. Can't wait for the movie ■ @spicertracey: My husband: "I need more beer if we're going to watch this."

■ @BenFordham: Awesome tribute to Molly at the Logies. What a bloody legend. Don't miss it.

■ @Drew_1981 (Drew Pearson): I love that Sunrise is in the Light Entertainment category for the #logies it's such an insult.

■ @melissahoyer: Kate Ritchie is looking bloody amaze at the moment ■ @tomsteinfort: Can ovaries melt? If so, Adam Hills just did that to every woman in the room ■ @SydConfidential: .The kitchen has better food ... and a sneaky drinks cupboard. Oops theres the tripper! Shelly Craft is 7 mths preg and tripped on steps ■ @DeanFelton7: #logieawards2012 got it right with Adam Hills as most popular presenter. Chrissie Swan a nominee? Really?

■ @kylieminogue: Congrats to Molly Meldrum ■ @PMOnAir (Paul Murray): TV ppl, don't blame twitter. SHOW IT LIVE! It's the height of industry arrogance to make the audience wait till 12am while u party ■ @mrpford (Peter Ford): Hamish Blake will be the first to joke about him being the Gold Logie winner when he isn't on TV (technically) Well at least Hamish's win shows it isn't rigged ... as it's kind of the last nail in credibility of the Logies ■ @hornery (Andrew Hornery): Reporters from the Herald Sun being evicted from logies media room!

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Long Shots

Family No 1 & Friends In this occasional series, Editor Ash Long profiles family and friends - no matter how tenuous the link ... and in no special order.

And now for some good news

Our Doors are Open!

Albert Henry Robertson GALLIPOLI HERO

Freemasons Victoria volunteers set a record with the Good Friday Appeal

Born: January 24, 1896 Died: March 7, 1977 Mother-In-Law’s Uncle Ash Long (Pa), grandson Jack, and Fleur Long (Oma)

with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

● Bob Jones with Freemasons Task Force volunteers from Bayside District: Fernando Casada and Hayden Carroll.

Good Friday means different things to different people: some use the public holiday to catch up on some much-needed sleep, spend time with friends or a take the kids to the cinema; usually, it is a day of rest and doing not much else.

But for the 400 Freemasons Victoria Task Force volunteers, Good Friday 2012 was spent like every other Good Friday: out on the streets - rain, hail or shine - shaking collection cans for Uncle Bobs Club.

The 'charity with a strange name and proud history' was formed in 1941 to assist the sick and disabled children in Victoria through various hospitals and institutions. Uncle Bobs Club long association with the Good Friday Appeal dates back to 1948.

"Uncle Bobs have raised an incredible $15 million for the Good Friday Appeal which is an extraordinary amount that requires great dedication and organisation for which we are very grateful," says Good Friday Appeal Director, Christine Unsworth.

With this year's Good Friday Appeal donation a record $507,000 - Uncle Bobs Club has raised over $16 million.

"Our 12-year association with Uncle Bobs Club has been a long and happy one," says Merv Dyer, Freemasons Victoria Task Force State Coordinator.

"Sometimes the planning and coordination for such a large scale volunteer-based event can get a little crazy but with only three weeks to organise everything, we managed to pull together and got a response from volunteers who were more than happy to get their hands dirty for this wonderful initiative," he says.

Good Friday Appeal funds from the 2011 appeal were used to purchase medical equipment, and fund research and scholarships.

Freemasons Victoria volunteers were rostered on a morning or afternoon shift and collected public donations from 228 7-Eleven stores across the Greater Melbourne area.

Bob Jones, Freemasons Victoria Grand Master, who has been in the top job for less than a month, visited a dozen 7-Eleven sites across the city, from South Melbourne to Ringwood.

"The volunteers were out there doing an amazing job as they always do," says Bob. "Kids were donating their pocket money, mums and dads were giving whatever they could spare I was amazed at the generosity shown and humbled by this experience. I'm proud of the relationship we have with Uncle Bobs Club and can't wait to do it again next year - we need to do better on this year's figure!"

The Good Friday Appeal accepts donations all year round. To donate, please visit www.goodfridayappeal.com.au or phone 9292 1166

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, or attend upcoming public events, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

■ Long Shots is back after a quick Easter break.

We hope you had a restful and reflective time.

We took to the Hume Hwy, and spent the holiday weekend with daughter Kristi, her husband Paul, and our 19-monthold grandson Jack, who had his first Easter Egg hunt.

(We hope to see our grand-daughters Emma and Madison in Townsville next month.)

Most of the countryside is looking mighty green.

The Southern Highlands of New South Wales are welcoming visitors, and we have a special feature on the region in this week’s Observer.

dancing with then-TV Week Editor Frank Crook and other media types in the 1970s in a Southern Cross penthouse party.

There must have been something in the water!

Short Shots ■ We’ve heard most excuses ... but one real estate agent told us this week that he wouldn’t be advertising in the Melbourne Observer because it had too much nudity!

● Gold Logie winner Norman Gunston with Denise Drysdale in the 1970s the TV Week Logies were ■ We will publish next staged. Photographers week’s Observer on Sue Deenim and Murray ANZAC Day (Wed., April Howard-Brooks were 25) as normal. there for the Observer.

Long Shots started at- ■ One cruel wit at Logies tending the Logies in the night suggested there mid-1970s, when they could be a new TV ‘gig’ were staged at the South- for the troubled Matthew ern Cross Hotel - and Newton, after his latest Norman Gunston (Garry arrest. They suggested he Macdonald) was winner. could be a candidate for In those days, copies World’s Strictest Parents. of TV Week - with the win- It’s a bitchy industry! ners’ photo on the cover could be seen rolling off the Southdown Press machines early on a Friday night, before the presentations.

Other memorable (and some memory-challenged) Logies nights have since been with the stars at the Hilton and ● Bartlett Sher ■ Melbourne has been Crown.

We do have a vague hit with an autumn that has had some stunning recollection of cossack ● Matthew Newton sunny days, along with some extremely chilly mornings.

We will be soon invited to think of warmer climates when the Australian cast for a new production of South Pacific is announced at the Plaza Ballroom on Monday, ■ “Anthing you buy at a low price that you don’t April 30.

Publicist Eileen need is not a bargain.”

O’Shea tells us that American director Bartlett Sher will be here for the media launch, which ■ “The average girl would rather have beauty than will include a selection of brains because the average man can see better musical highlights from than he can think.” the South Pacific Orchestra.

We will bring you all the details.

■ “To the same apostles also, after his suffering, he presented himself alive with many convincing proofs. He was seen by them over a forty-day period and spoke about matters concerning the king■ What a showbiz night dom of God.”- Acts 1:3 at Crown on Sunday when

Return to Bali Ha’i

Observer Treasury

Thought For The Week

Observer Curmudgeon Text For The Week

Logies time

● Robertson Shell House, Nobbies Rd, Cooinda, Phillip Island ■ Albert Robertson and his wife Myrtle (nee Parker) were probably best known as operators of the Shell House tourist attraction and seashell display on the Nobbies Road at Phillip Island.

They settled there in the 1950s, after Albert had served in World War II. He had also served in World War I in the 8th Battalion at its formation, and was wounded seriously in both legs at Gallipoli in April 1915.

Albert Henry Robertson was born on January 24, 1896. Family historians believe that he was the first white baby born in the Monbulk area. He was son of William Walter Robertson-Wright (-1904), and Maria (born 1859, Ipswich, England; died September 9, 1936).

Albert’s early life was in the Monbulk area, which was predominantly a fruit growing district.

Albert was member of the 1st AIF. At age 18½, he enlisted on August 24, 1914 (Service Number 818) at Surrey Hills. He served 1616 days, of which 1497 days were spent in service abroad.

Albert Robertson was a transport driver. In November 1914, he embarked on the S S Benalla with the 1st Australian Convoy for overseas. He arrived in Egypt in December 1914, training there, and serving on guard in the Suez Canal.

After being wounded at Gallipoli, he was evacuated to hospital in England. After convalesence, he rejoined the Battalion by now in Mex Camp, Alexandria. He rejoined as a driver in G Company.

He served in France from March 1916. He worked through the 1916-1917 winter on Somme, and on through August push 1918 until October.

Albert received news of the November 11 Armistice as he sailed back to Australia on first leave.

He arrived in Port Melbourne on November 23, and was discharged on January 25, 1919.

Albert married Myrtle Winton Parker (born in Adelaide on August 19, 1893) on February 21, 1920 at St Columbus Church of England, Hawthorn.

The couple lived in Moores Rd, Monbulk, where they built their first ‘shell fence’ brought back from the Bare Gully, near Walkerville.

He worked for the Lilydale Shire, and was injured when hit by a car while working on a road gang.

The couple purchased about 30 acres which over time were subdivided and a large portion was sold to Harry Seamer. They progressively built a number of houses on the blocks, and sold them on vendor’s finance. Josh Mertens, a Dutch immigrant, was the builder.

Upon the outbreak of World War II, Albert received his ‘Notice to Applicant for Enlistment’ in 1940, into 10 Brigade of the 2nd AIF, he reported to Ringwood on June 10. He enlisted (VX31183) in 2/ 22 Training Battalion, 2nd AIF at Royal Park, and after 261 days service was discharged “being medically unfit for service, not occasioned by his own default”.

He immediately re-enlisted (V11982) at Royal Park in the Garrison Battalions on March 12, 1941, later discharged in February 1943 “being required for employment in a reserved occupation”.

Albert and Myrtle moved to Phillip Island, progressively building up the Shell House. He died at the Bush Nursing Hospital in Cowes, where he was a Life Governor after many years of fund-raising.

Myrtle died on May 18, 1990.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 13

Healthy Living

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 15

Theatre Independent

Reports co-ordinated by Cheryl Threadgold

Two Portly Gentlemen

● Polash Larsen is one half of the duo The Two Portly Gentlemen in East Meets West, currently playing at 23 Meyers Place until April 22.

Photo: Nic Velissaris ■ Two Portly Gentlemen in East Meets West is presented as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival at LOOP, 23 Meyers Place until April 22.

Directed by Alex Pinder, East Meets West introduces the Two Portly Gentlemen, Polash Larsen and Nic Velissaris in a new show as they explore music, masks and mayhem in pursuit of the comedic arts.

Watch as an Eastern suburbs Bengali comes face to face with a Western suburban Greek. Sparks will fly, cultures will clash and dance moves will be demolished.

Performances: April 18, 19 at 6pm, April 21, 22 at 3pm Venue: LOOP, 23 Meyers Place, Melbourne Tickets: $22 full, $18 concession/group Bookings: through trybooking.com and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website

Local Theatre on Page 53

■ Bookings are now open for a Bastille Day fundraising event on Sunday, July 15 at 12 noon at Veraison, 269 Myers Rd., Merricks North (Bluestone Lane Winery).

Enjoy a three course French dinner and live show, with Can Can dancers. Melbourne Opera mezzo soprano Lucy Nicolson will perform, and support artists are a capella vocal trio Perfect Day featuring Laura Silver, Naomi Woodward and Stephanie Poon.

All proceeds from this event will be donated to the Kindilan Society in Red Hill, trading as Focus, an individualised support service. $85 per head.

Drinks at bar prices. Bookings: 5987 0988

Linguistic Lunacy at La Mama ■ La Mama presents Linguistic Lunacy until April 22 as part of the 2012 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

It is written by Graham (Affie) Parker and performed by Graham (Affie) Parker and Maureen Hartley, in the guises of Razor Hope and Mavis Hart, Razor Hope’s personal body guard.

Entering the La Mama Theatre, you are not quite sure what to expect and the program tells us “Linguistic Lunacy consists of a number of short sound poems and performance pieces”.

The minute we are introduced to Razor Hope and he explains Arp Language to us, the audience knows they are in for a tantalizingly intelligent explosion of humour.

The opening night audience chuckled away without reservation at the extremely witty and clever banter and social commentary.

Graham (Affie) Parker as Razor Hope did not miss a beat and kept the crowd totally entertained and thinking throughout the hour-long performance.

He was wonderfully supported by the dead pan antics of Maureen Hartley as Mavis Hart.

It you have not visited La Mama before you are in for a rare treat, and if you are an old friend, no doubt you will be happy to revisit and be very impressed with this most enjoyable and engaging show.

Linguistic Lunacy is on at La Mama Theatre, 205 Faraday St, Carlton - Thursday, Friday, Saturday at 7.30pm and Wednesday and Sunday at 6.30pm.

Tickets are $25 full price and $15 concession. Call 9347 6948 or visit www.lamama.com.au - Debbie Keyt, guest reviewer

● Charles Jenkins

■ Charles Jenkins is presenting a solo set of his new songs, to be followed by a second solo set of his old songs as determined by listeners sending their requests via the magic of Facebook. Charles is performing tonight (Wed., April 18) at 8.30pm at the Empress Hotel, 714 Nicholson St., Fitzroy North. The show also features acrobatics and high wire shenanigans. $5 entry fee.

Not many laughs at‘Dingo’s Baby’ ■ Dingo's Baby is part of the Melbourne Comedy Festival, but there were not many laughs coming from the audience at the preview even though the ensemble cast of 10 accompanied by three musicians, did a sterling job interpreting the text and lyrics by Ella Filar, Sarah Berry, Neil Ryan and Mary Gentile.

The premise appeared to be 'what or who are Australians?'

A busload of middle-aged Australians travelling through the outback to Uluru collides with a dingo and they are stranded.

They begin to question whether they are all part of the 'stolen generation'. Some of the confused passengers believe that they are and one passenger compounds the belief by reciting Kevin Rudd's 'Apology'.

Two psychiatrists on the bus psychoanalyse their fellow passengers in turn to try to help them find out what and who they are. At the same time, a young indigenous man, Justin Grant, also driving through the outback hits a dingo and is stranded.

He behaves like a typical Aussie bloke and believes that he is an Australian. If he is part of the 'stolen generation', no one has told him that he is.

It is not so much a case of that well known tourist advert 'where the bloody hell are you' but more a case of 'what the bloody hell are we?

The work is in cabaret/song/story style. If you are studying theatre or if you like fringe or new experimental theatre, this production by Kommisar Kabaret and Canto Coro may be worth a look.

Performances: Until April 22, Wednesday, Sunday 6.30pm.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday 7.30pm.

Bastille Day event

● Ian Michael (Doctor Fritz) and Justin Grant (Aussie) in Dingo's Baby at La Mama Courthouse until April 22.

Venue: La Mama Courthouse, 349 Drummond Street, Carlton.

Performance time: 75 minutes.

Tickets: $25/$15.

Bookings: (03) 9347 6948 or online at www.lamama.com.au - Rita Crispin, guest reviewer

● Affie Parker and Maureen Hartley in Linguistic Lunacy, playing at La Mama until April 22.

What’s behind the red velvet curtain? ● Barry Von Peabody ■ What does “tour-de-force” conjure up in your mind? Certainly not, I would suspect, tiny 12cm puppets and a hidden man operating mini backdrops, eclectic music, contortionists, whales, erotic dames.

To discover the complexity of this amazing conglomerate one must enter the world of magic currently on offer at La Mama Theatre, Carlton and lose oneself in The Cautionary Tale of Barry Von Peabody.

This is wonderful , innovative theatre with the following road map: from Faraday St., Carlton, enter La Mama courtyard. Enjoy a drink by the welcoming brazier, before being invited into the custom built black tent, which houses the magical puppet world of The Scarlett St Theatre.

Intimate (only 15 seats, so do book now to avoid disappointment) interactive, engaging, colourful and with an epic story ranging from imminent theatre closure, Nazi Germany, the petrol cans of arson, sea voyage and love won and love lost.

Follow three generations through backdrops of tornadoes, train stations, displacement and heartache, to ultimately find cultural redemption .

This seemingly chaotic story, peopled with caricatured puppets, is truly epic, yet bursting with silliness and whimsy.

There are lessons to be learnt, but one doesn’t realise that until the laughs have subsided.

Book for a wonderfully different night of theatre fun with Jacob Williams, creator/puppeteer at La Mama Theatre, until April 22. Tickets: $25 $15 conc.

Bookings: 93476948 www.lamama.com.au PS. Collect your free raffle ticket and you may just be the lucky winner of one of the puppet family!

– Maggie Morrison, guest reviewer

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

■ I mainly remember Dick Bentley in the radio series Take It From Here. At that time I had no idea that Dick Bentley was born in Melbourne and had found fame in England as an actor, comedian and singer.

I was sure he was an Englishman.

Charles Walter ‘Dick’ Bentley was born in Melbourne in 1917. He had learnt to play the violin as a child and when he was sixteen joined a local dance band where he played saxophone and clarinet.

He adopted the stage name of Dick Bentley and worked professionally as a comedian and ‘crooner’.

He frequently performed in sketches with Roy Rene ‘Mo’ at the Tivoli Theatre. Dick appeared on ABC radio during the 1930s and was a resident comedian.

In 1938 he went to England to further his career. Dick was immediately hired by Radio Luxembourg and worked in a comedy double act with another Australian, Albert Whelan.

Dick also teamed up with George Moon on the BBC for the very successful radio series Lucky Dip. When the war broke out Dick returned to Australia with his wife Petronella. He spent several years entertaining the troops in concert party shows throughout the South-West Pacific region.

After the war, he was one of Australia's highest paid radio stars and returned to the UK to resume his career.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To ...

Dick Bentley

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM His most popular vocal recording was Praise The Lord And Pass The Ammunition.

In 1948 Dick was in a BBC radio series titled Take It From Here which was a variety show set in a commercial radio station office. His co stars were Jimmy Edwards and another Australian, Joy Nichols.

The series developed into The Glums, a dysfunctional family with Jimmy as the father, Joy as ‘Eth’ his loving daughter, and Dick as the simple minded ‘Ron’ who has been engaged to ‘Eth’ for many years.

1953 the novelty recording The Little Red Monkey performed by Dick, Jimmy and Joy went into the UK hit parade.

When Joy Nichols moved to the US, ‘Eth’

● Dick Bentley

was played by Alma Cogan and later June Whitfield.

Take It From Here was a very popular radio show for 12 seasons and it was written by Frank Muir and Denis Norden.

In 1951 Dick Bentley was back in Australia to record 10 episodes of the radio show Gently Bentley for the ABC. He later starred in the BBC television series And So To Bentley which featured a young upcoming comedian named Peter Sellers.

Dick's film roles included The Sundowners, The Adventures of Barry McKenzie and Barry Holds His Own. He guest starred in television series such as The Saint, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em and Love Thy Neighbour.

In 1973 he retired to the London suburb of St John's Wood.

His wife Petronella passed away in 1988 and Dick Bentley died from complications from Alzheimer's Disease in 1995 at the age of 88.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.30pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts

THEY DON’T ALL GET OFF SCOT-FREE

■ Not all drunken miscreants get off scot free when their inebriation causes some personal injury to themselves.

A few years ago my mate Ozzie was driving up to see Les Pilton at Barrow Creek when he encountered a couple of local gentlemen walking along the middle of the road.

One of them seemed to harbour a grudge against automobiles, so as Ozzie drove by he directed a swift kick to his car, breaking the headlight.

Ozzie didn't stop, but just kept on to Barrow and reported the matter to the Police.

Some time later the same gentleman was driven into town with a smashed ankle, bones protruding. He was treated, but also charged with wilful damage to Ozzie's car.

Last week in Alice a "heavily intoxicated" person walked straight into a passing car. He will be given an infringement notice when he recovers, Police report.

Then they were called to a domestic disturbance to check on a "very aggressive" gentleman. He began to throw concrete ornaments, and finally a spear, at them.

A further incident where an inebriated gentleman was about to attack a car with a large rock was just averted, and other Police were confronted with sharp garden knives.

Another quiet week!

■ Most reptile keepers experience some occasional escapees in their cars, but don't advertise the fact!

And last week in a related situation in Barwon Heads, a snake crept into a lady's car and nipped her.

However when a snake slithers onto an aeroplane, that's another story!

This happened last week in Darwin when the pilot spotted an unwelcome visitor in the cockpit.

He immediately radioed a ‘Mayday’ and shortly thereafter emergency landed.

The snake eluded discovery, and the plane has been grounded until it's located. It is suspected to be a small harmless python.

The same thing happened on an Alice-Melbourne flight a few years ago.

There was a package of 12 snakes in a Boeing 737's cargo hold, but four freed themselves during the flight.

Their absence was discovered upon arrival in Melbourne.

Two flights were cancelled while

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au a search was made. However they were never found, and the plane was fumigated, and then back into the air.

The reptiles themselves were only 15cm Stimson's Pythons, which only grow to about 3ft anyway, being the smallest python in Australia.

They're totally harmless and inoffensive and non-venomous. About as dangerous on a plane as escaped white mice!

My escapees were generally Tiger Snakes!

■ Still on reptiles, one of the world's rarest snakes, the Oenpelli Python, has been given a special dispensation for legal trapping from the wild.

This is generally strictly prohibited, but the authorities are experimenting with a breeding program.

A Top End herpetologist, Gavin Bedford, is working with traditional owners to capture some specimens and then breed them for sale.

They expect that the offspring will fetch about $7500 each.

This situation is far preferable to the current state of affairs, whereby reptiles and birds are illegally caught

in the wild and exported. They are often wrapped in socks to avoid detection, and there is obviously a high mortality rate.

Common old garden variety Blue Tongues and Stumpy Tails can bring thousands of dollars each in the US. I noticed a pair of Sulphur Crested Cockatoos in a pet shop in LA years ago for $6000. Then $10 each in the Vic Market.

Hopefully this will point the way to the legal harvesting and breeding of a few other species such as the beautiful Princess Parrot and some Territory reptiles so that they can be protected from these predatory smugglers.

Australia's got some wonderful wildlife to share with the world!

■ Even though the March of the Cane Toad cannot be stopped, it can hopefully be slowed down a bit.

Frog Watch in the Top End is forever devising new ways to discourage their proliferation, and to exterminate as many as possible.

Western Australia set up a ‘Toad Border’ to keep them out, just as they do with starlings down south.

Toads are a total disaster for local wildlife, and goannas and lizards and Johnson River Crocs are being decimated in their thousands because they can't distinguish between a favoured food, a harmless frog, and a poisonous toad.

However, Groote Eylandt is being kept toad-free - because of a toad Sniffer-Dog! Ozzie the Charmaine Terrier has been specifically trained, just like the ‘Hash Puppies’ at the airports.

He's employed at the barge terminal, which accepts all the freight from the mainland.

So he's let loose to check it all. Not many actual live toads hitch a ride on the cargo, so to keep his nose in they hide a few frozen specimens in each load.

"We reckon that if he can detect dead toads, he'll be certainly spot-on with live ones!" his handler reports.

"He's never missed any yet!"

■ They're in Siberia and Poland - now Alice Springs. Salt mines!

About 120 kms south of Alice lies Maryvale Station, just near Titjikala, and a 500 milion year old salt deposit has been found there.

Tellus Holdings are just about to open up a mine which should be op-

"Salt has about 14,000 recorded applications, so we're only limited by our imaginations as to what we can do," observed Duncan van der Merwe, the managing director.

What! 14,000? The mind boggles!

Salt sculptures, bush food and spa treatments are some related ventures.

When I drive up to Alice Springs I encounter quite a few salt lakes along the way, some with huge mounds bulldozed from the dry lake bed, to be refined later and elsewhere.

No mines though - in fact this will be the first in Australia.

Poland's famous salt mine, in Krakow, was opened in the 13th century, and boasts an underground church, just like Coober Pedy.

Poland's church gets over a million visitors a year, so maybe some ● Sulphur Crested Cockatoos enterprising prelate should stake a erational in about two years. Not only claim! will salt itself be refined on the spot, - Nick Le Souef but a tourist venue is planned.

‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ Bob Brown's recent strange speech where he wondered whether global warming could have already killed off aliens from outer space had even the ABC wondering but now Brown has packed up his bags and gone off to spend more time with those faeries at the bottom of the garden.

Brown's Greens, helped by Gillard, has put Australia firmly in the mess it is in today and his mad plans to close down our coal mines - if they came to pass - would result in us joining the Third World.

The Greens, written by Brown and Peter Singer in 1996, has some incredible themes and I wonder how many Coalition MPs have read it. The Greens have conned a lot of Australians over environmental issues but sensible Australians are waking up that they have sinister motives that would lead to a socially engineered Australia along totalitarian lines.

Of course we want to live in a clean and healthy environment and past mistakes have taught us. Successful farmers look after their land and don't need politicians telling them how to run their lives.

Christine Milne tells us that she will take the Greens forward and she will be a role model for women in politics - is she thinking of more like Joan Kirner, Carmen Lawrence, Cheryl Kernot, Stott Despoja and Anna Bligh?

When Don Chipp left the Democrats, that party began its road to ruin. Will the same fate befall the Greens?

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au

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Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

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Observer Readers’ Club

100 Years Ago: Coburg Leader Friday, April 19, 1912 THEANTI-PROGRESS CAMPAIGN The members of, the Coburg Un improved Passenger Transit League are carrying on their campaign of passive resistance combined with active misrepresentation, and' are ably supported by. the journalistic exponent of their views, who by the way seems remarkably: anxious to. assure a number of people-that he is in no way opposed to the trams.

It is somewhat amutsing to watch the changes in face of this anti progressive aggregation of alleged well wishers of Coburg.

At first, they proposed absolutely nothing. except a stone age policy of sitting still and waiting to see if anything happens. Next a rumour crept abroad as to motor buses as a substitute, and the latest phase is an advocacy of stor age batteries on the present cars.

Their literary adviser lightly alludes to electric light and poweri n Brunswick, and then cheerfully talks in connection there with of electrifica tion of the hire cars, as if the power would lightly spring over Brunswick and harness itself on to the antiquated and diminutive bath ing machines carrying Coburg's traffic.

Of course, all this would cost nothing, nothing whatever. It would all be done just to oblige the Coburg Unimproved Transit League.

There is still a funnier thing, and for all we know the above League may not be connected with it in any way. The literary genius voicing anti-trams for Coburg, is a staunch supporter of a tram and power house and manager and trust all for the length of Nicholson street, East Brunswick, fringing a creek and ending - in a quarryhole.

Money spent on that short line is all right enough, but not on an up-to-date service along Sydney road, Coburg. The same persistent,. stupid mis statements are repeated again and again by. this weird exponent of fair play and truth in his organ.

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● An elderly war veteran at the ANZAC Day march, Melbourne, 1962.

Life’s Lessons

Reader Recipes

FAX: 1-800 231 312 E-MAIL: editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

■ I have heard that you cannot help those who do not wish to be helped.

Birthdays/Celebrations

Word Of The Week

■ Wednesday, April 18. Singer John Farnham, 23, married Jillian Billman, 17, in Glenroy, in 1973.

■ Thursday, April 19. Observer reader Jeff Blades of Wantirna (1937) is 75. Media man Mark Day (1943) is 69; he was born in South Australia. Radio-TV man Graham Webb is 76; he was host of Blind Date. Businessman Lindsay Fox was born in 1937 (75). Sportsmen Roger Merrett (52) and Paul Reiffel (46) celebrate today. Deb Sukarna is 56 ■ Friday, April 20. Radio man Max Rowley was born in 1937 (75). The late Tim Burstall is remembered; he was born on this day in 1927, and died aged 77 in 2004. Actress Elspeth Ballantyne was born in Adelaide in 1939 (73).

Athlete Debbie Flintoff-King was born in Frankston in 1960 (52). Nick Le Souef and John David Buckland are both 69. Julia Morris is 44 ■ Saturday, April 21. It is Queen Elizabeth’s actual birthday today in 1926 (86). Ex-Premier John Brumby was born in 1953 (59). Ex-skier, ex-MP Kirstie Marshall is 43. Tom Andronas is 26. Stacey Christopoulos is 31.

■ Sunday, April 22. HBTY Cosgun George Suluk.

■ Monday, April 23. Birthday honours belong to 3AW newsman Denis O’Kane. The late Jim Stynes was born on this day in 1966.

■ Tuesday, April 24. Radio man Bruce Mansfield is 68 today (1944). Comedienne Denise Scott is 57 (1955). Radio man Jules Lund is 33.

■ Ucalegon (noun) - a neighbour whose house is on fire.

Trivia Challenge ■ Which airport carries the most international passengers? (2012 figures)

Answer: Heathrow

THe Way We Were

Your Stars with Christina La Cross Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) You're feeling lucky enough to try to sweet talk your way in or out of something which you could not even get close to last week. Lies lose you friends.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) Plans to visit those who live far away, or even a plane trip away are likely. You're feeling ready to spread your wings and see what others are up to. A temporary offer becomes a permanent one.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You might have to accept the fact that you've grown apart from certain faces. This does not mean that you have to fall out with them. Just that you have to agree to live and let live.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Mercury, the planet of communication, helps you to shine at work but could also evoke a lot of jealousy from the faces you work alongside. Make a more concerted effort to involve them. It's sure to benefit you.

Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) No longer do you seem so impressed by the material but you are for once willing to look and enjoy the more simple and spiritual things in life. Experience has made you wise of late my friend.

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23) The stars are making many of the signs in the zodiac feel more independent so don't get too paranoid if a close one wants to spend time apart. It's sure to be a temporary, not a permanent phase.

Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) Friends will be seeking your help in personal issues affecting their life but just be careful that you are not blamed for the decisions they have made. Keeping a polite distance appears to be the right move.

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Not a great time to make too many promises or commitments, as this time tomorrow you are likely to be screaming out for your freedom. Keep options open. There's much for you to learn right now.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) Phone calls or contacts you make at this time appear to have an air of excitement about them. You're no longer going to be bored by your life but excited about it.

Prepare to be pleasantly surprised.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Watch what those around you say and do. Someone's using you for your contacts. You need to make sure that you're not being taken advantage of. Make sure your hard work is noted by others.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Don't turn down invites just because you're unsure if they'll be suited to your taste.

Take the test and give new experiences a go. It's about time you opened your mind and tried new things.

Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) So called friends have gone awol since you wanted to accept the help they offered.

Better to find out who your true friends are sooner rather than later, especially with the good fortune coming your way.

● ANZAC Slice Makes: 24 pieces Ingredients 1 1/4 cups plain flour 1 1/4 cups rolled oats 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar 1 cup shredded coconut 150g butter, chopped 2 tablespoons golden syrup 1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda 2 tablespoons boiling water Method Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced.

Grease and line a 3cm-deep, 19cm x 29cm (base) slice pan with baking paper, allowing a 2cm overhang at long ends.

Combine flour, oats, sugar and coconut in a large bowl. Make a well in the centre.

Place butter and syrup in a saucepan over low heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 8 to 10 minutes or until smooth. Combine bicarbonate of soda and boiling water in a jug. Remove butter mixture from heat. Stir in bicarbonate of soda mixture. Add to flour mixture. Stir to combine.

Transfer to prepared pan. Using the back of a spoon, press mixture evenly into pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden. Cool in pan.

Cut into squares. Serve.

Make the most of summer produce with our zucchini recipes, strawberry recipes and mango recipes.

Cheerios

Quote Of The Week ■ “There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

- Carl Jung

Just A Thought ■ Why is it that most people turn the music down in the car when looking for a street sign?

Do they think it will help them to see it better?

Bumper Sticker ■ Spotted in Red Hill: “There is more to life than chocolate, but not right now.”

● Natasha of Bali ■ Natasha of Bali sends a cheerio to Chris, Sue and John all the way from Paradise.

■ Suzanne of Docklands sends a cheerio to Bruce Bradfield and Raphael Atkins Cocks.

■ Julie of Mont Albert sends a cheerio to Valerie Coppin of Faversham Private Hostel, Canterbury.

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 19

Real Estate News

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

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Real Estate - Homemaker

QBSA Lic. No. 77579 www.civictseelhomes.com.au Ph: (07) 3714 5900

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 21

Camping,Caravans and Touring - Grey Nomads

Bruce, Marg tour Australia ■ Bruce and Margaret Gow, of Moama, are already well known to Melbourne Observer readers, through their family connection to Keith McGowan of 3AW Overnighters fame.

Bruce and Margaret are now getting to know many more Australians as they tour the mainland and Tasmania, as part of their connection with the What’s Up Downunder TV program, website and magazine.

So far the couple’s tours have taken them to Far North Queensland, Tasmania .. and presently they are back in Victoria, making their way around the Rushworth and Inglewood areas.

Soon on the list is the National Celtic Festival.

The couple were living at Moama, where Bruce had worked on the Port

● Bruce and Margaret Gow are touring Australia of Echuca, where he and his bowler hat were familiar icons, as he promoted tourism amongst the paddlesteamers.

The couple count their 10-week tour of Tasmania as one of the highlights, being based for a while at Stanley. They were able to indulge in their passion of tracing their family history whilst in the Apple Isle.

The couple are recording their tour for the TV program, and have just completed a three-page feature in the What’s Up Downunder magazine.

Whatsupdownunder.com.au is a website in Australia dedicated to caravanning, camping, 4WDing and ‘on the road’ travel that is supported by its very own TV show.

Bruce Gow is also updating his status most days through his Facebook ● Free camping at the Inglewood (Vic.) footy ground page.

Lighting up the Kokoda Track

■ Melbourne-based adventure tour operator, No Roads Expeditions, has helped purchase 250 solar powered LED lights for the village of Kagi along the Kokoda Track.

The ‘Light Up The Track’ program has been put together by the Kokoda Track Foundation, a Sydney based organisation committed to improving the lives of those that live along the famous Kokoda Track.

No Roads Expeditions has been operating along the Kokoda Track for seven years and is considered one of the biggest Kokoda operators.

The ‘Light Up The Track’ program asked No Roads Expeditions if they could help purchase the lights for villages along the Track.

Many of the porters contracted to No Roads Expeditions come from the village of Kagi Managing Director of the company, Peter Miller, says "This is a great program for those that live along the Track. We have a close relationship with Kagi and it was only natural that we helped them out with the 250 lights the KTF asked us for."

The LED lights are solar powered. During the day they charge up and at night they will be used to help light up the thatched huts people live in.

Mr Miller says, "This will help the children of Kagi to do their homework. It will also help people prepare food at night without the need of lighting a fire in their hut, thus reducing the chance of fire".

The solar lights have just been delivered to Kagi, so those that walk the Track will see the benefits already. They can be clicked together so two, three or four families can come together at night and share a meal or participate in a community meeting, and click their lights together to form a panel that will light up a large space such as a community hall, church or school.

Page 22 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Camping,Caravans and Touring - Grey Nomads

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 23

Camping,Caravans and Touring - Grey Nomads

Page 24 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Melbourne Homemaker

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 4, 2012 - Page 31

Observer Classic Books

er

rv se US N Ob N IO BO CT SE

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Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER 33 He answered her in the same style, and the subject dropped. To interrupt a silence which might make him fancy her affected with what had passed, she soon afterwards said: “I imagine your cousin brought you down with him chiefly for the sake of having someone at his disposal. I wonder he does not marry, to secure a lasting convenience of that kind. But, perhaps, his sister does as well for the present, and, as she is under his sole care, he may do what he likes with her.”

“No,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam, “that is an advantage which he must divide with me. I am joined with him in the guardianship of Miss Darcy.”

“Are you indeed? And pray what sort of guardians do you make? Does your charge give you much trouble? Young ladies of her age are sometimes a little difficult to manage, and if she has the true Darcy spirit, she may like to have her own way.”

As she spoke she observed him looking at her earnestly; and the manner in which he immediately asked her why she supposed Miss Darcy likely to give them any uneasiness, convinced her that she had somehow or other got pretty near the truth. She directly replied: “You need not be frightened. I never heard any harm of her; and I dare say she is one of the most tractable creatures in the world. She is a very great favourite with some ladies of my acquaintance, Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley. I think I have heard you say that you know them.”

“I know them a little. Their brother is a pleasant gentlemanlike man — he is a great friend of Darcy’s.”

“Oh! yes,” said Elizabeth drily; “Mr. Darcy is uncommonly kind to Mr. Bingley, and takes a prodigious deal of care of him.”

“Care of him! Yes, I really believe Darcy DOES take care of him in those points where he most wants care. From something that he told me in our journey hither, I have reason to think Bingley very much indebted to him. But I ought to beg his pardon, for I have no right to suppose that Bingley was the person meant. It was all conjecture.”

“What is it you mean?”

“It is a circumstance which Darcy could not wish to be generally known, because if it were to get round to the lady’s family, it would be an unpleasant thing.”

“You may depend upon my not mentioning it.”

“And remember that I have not much reason for supposing it to be Bingley. What he told me was merely this: that he congratulated himself on having lately saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage, but without mentioning names or any other particulars, and I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort, and from knowing them to have been together the whole of last summer.”

“Did Mr. Darcy give you reasons for this interference?”

“I understood that there were some very strong objections against the lady.”

“And what arts did he use to separate them?”

“He did not talk to me of his own arts,” said Fitzwilliam, smiling. “He only told me what I have now told you.”

Elizabeth made no answer, and walked on, her heart swelling with indignation. After watching her a little, Fitzwilliam asked her why she was so thoughtful.

“I am thinking of what you have been telling me,” said she. “Your cousin’s conduct does not suit my feelings. Why was he to be the judge?”

“You are rather disposed to call his interference officious?”

“I do not see what right Mr. Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend’s inclination, or why, upon his own judgement alone, he was to determine and direct in what manner his friend was to be happy. But,” she continued, recollecting herself, “as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn him. It is not to be supposed that there was much affection in the case.”

“That is not an unnatural surmise,” said Fitzwilliam, “but it is a lessening of the honour

● Jane Austen of my cousin’s triumph very sadly.” This was spoken jestingly; but it appeared to her so just a picture of Mr. Darcy, that she would not trust herself with an answer, and therefore, abruptly changing the conversation talked on indifferent matters until they reached the Parsonage. There, shut into her own room, as soon as their visitor left them, she could think without interruption of all that she had heard. It was not to be supposed that any other people could be meant than those with whom she was connected. There could not exist in the world TWO men over whom Mr. Darcy could have such boundless influence.

That he had been concerned in the measures taken to separate Bingley and Jane she had never doubted; but she had always attributed to Miss Bingley the principal design and arrangement of them. If his own vanity, however, did not mislead him, HE was the cause, his pride and caprice were the cause, of all that Jane had suffered, and still continued to suffer. He had ruined for a while every hope of happiness for the most affectionate, generous heart in the world; and no one could say how lasting an evil he might have inflicted.

“There were some very strong objections against the lady,” were Colonel Fitzwilliam’s words; and those strong objections probably were, her having one uncle who was a country attorney, and another who was in business in London.

“To Jane herself,” she exclaimed, “there could be no possibility of objection; all loveliness and goodness as she is! — her understanding excellent, her mind improved, and her manners captivating. Neither could anything be urged against my father, who, though with some peculiarities, has abilities Mr. Darcy himself need not disdain, and respectability which he will probably never each.” When she thought of her mother, her confidence gave way a little; but she would not allow that any objections THERE had material weight with Mr. Darcy, whose pride, she was convinced, would receive a deeper wound from the want of importance in his friend’s con-

nections, than from their want of sense; and she was quite decided, at last, that he had been partly governed by this worst kind of pride, and partly by the wish of retaining Mr. Bingley for his sister.

The agitation and tears which the subject occasioned, brought on a headache; and it grew so much worse towards the evening, that, added to her unwillingness to see Mr. Darcy, it determined her not to attend her cousins to Rosings, where they were engaged to drink tea. Mrs. Collins, seeing that she was really unwell, did not press her to go and as much as possible prevented her husband from pressing her; but Mr. Collins could not conceal his apprehension of Lady Catherine’s being rather displeased by her staying at home.

CHAPTER 34 When they were gone, Elizabeth, as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy, chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent. They contained no actual complaint, nor was there any revival of past occurrences, or any communication of present suffering. But in all, and in almost every line of each, there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterise her style, and which, proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself and kindly disposed towards everyone, had been scarcely ever clouded. Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness, with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal. Mr. Darcy’s shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict, gave her a keener sense of her sister’s sufferings. It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next — and, a still greater, that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again, and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits, by all that affection could do.

She could not think of Darcy’s leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him; but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all, and agreeable as he was, she did not mean to be unhappy about him.

While settling this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better.

She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began: “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement; and the avowal of all that he felt, and had long felt for her, immediately followed. He spoke well; but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed; and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority — of its being a degradation — of the family obstacles which had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man’s affection, and though her intentions did not vary for an instant, she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive; till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger. She tried, however, to compose herself to answer him with patience, when he should have done. He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavours, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer. He SPOKE of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther, and, when he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks, and she said: “In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could FEEL gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot — I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration. The feelings which, you tell me, have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard, can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation.”

Mr. Darcy, who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise. His complexion became pale with anger, and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature. He was struggling for the appearance of composure, and would not open his lips till he believed himself to have attained it.

The pause was to Elizabeth’s feelings dreadful.

At length, with a voice of forced calmness, he said: “And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little ENDEAVOUR at civility, I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance.”

Continued on Page 32

Page 32 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 4, 2012

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Observer Classic Books From Page 30 “I might as well inquire,” replied she, “why with so evident a desire of offending and insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character? Was not this some excuse for incivility, if I WAS uncivil? But I have other provocations. You know I have. Had not my feelings decided against you — had they been indifferent, or had they even been favourable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining, perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?”

As she pronounced these words, Mr. Darcy changed colour; but the emotion was short, and he listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued: “I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you acted THERE. You dare not, you cannot deny, that you have been the principal, if not the only means of dividing them from each other — of exposing one to the censure of the world for caprice and instability, and the other to its derision for disappointed hopes, and involving them both in misery of the acutest kind.”

She paused, and saw with no slight indignation that he was listening with an air which proved him wholly unmoved by any feeling of remorse.

He even looked at her with a smile of affected incredulity.

“Can you deny that you have done it?” she repeated.

With assumed tranquillity he then replied: “I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice in my success. Towards HIM I have been kinder than towards myself.”

Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection, but its meaning did not escape, nor was it likely to conciliate her.

“But it is not merely this affair,” she continued, “on which my dislike is founded. Long before it had taken place my opinion of you was decided.

Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received many months ago from Mr. Wickham.

On this subject, what can you have to say? In what imaginary act of friendship can you here defend yourself? or under what misrepresentation can you here impose upon others?”

“You take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns,” said Darcy, in a less tranquil tone, and with a heightened colour.

“Who that knows what his misfortunes have been, can help feeling an interest in him?”

“His misfortunes!” repeated Darcy contemptuously; “yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed.”

“And of your infliction,” cried Elizabeth with energy. “You have reduced him to his present state of poverty — comparative poverty. You have withheld the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him. You have deprived the best years of his life of that independence which was no less his due than his desert. You have done all this! and yet you can treat the mention of his misfortune with contempt and ridicule.”

“And this,” cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across the room, “is your opinion of me!

This is the estimation in which you hold me! I thank you for explaining it so fully. My faults, according to this calculation, are heavy indeed!

But perhaps,” added he, stopping in his walk, and turning towards her, “these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design. These bitter accusations might have been suppressed, had I, with greater policy, concealed my struggles, and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified, unalloyed inclination; by reason, by reflection, by everything. But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related. They were natural and just. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? — to congratulate myself on the hope of relations, whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?”

Elizabeth felt herself growing more angry every moment; yet she tried to the utmost to speak with composure when she said: “You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”

She saw him start at this, but he said nothing, and she continued: “You could not have made the offer of your

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hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.”

Again his astonishment was obvious; and he looked at her with an expression of mingled incredulity and mortification. She went on: “From the very beginning — from the first moment, I may almost say — of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”

“You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been.

Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time, and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.”

And with these words he hastily left the room, and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the house.

The tumult of her mind, was now painfully great.

She knew not how to support herself, and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half-anhour. Her astonishment, as she reflected on what had passed, was increased by every review of it. That she should receive an offer of marriage from Mr. Darcy! That he should have been in love with her for so many months! So much in love as to wish to marry her in spite of all the objections which had made him prevent his friend’s marrying her sister, and which must appear at least with equal force in his own case — was almost incredible! It was gratifying to have inspired unconsciously so strong an affection. But his pride, his abominable pride — his shameless avowal of what he had done with respect to Jane — his unpardonable assurance in acknowledging, though he could not justify it, and the unfeeling manner in which he had mentioned Mr. Wickham, his cruelty towards whom he had not attempted to deny, soon overcame the pity which the consideration of his attachment had for a moment excited. She continued in very agitated reflections till the sound of Lady Catherine’s carriage made her feel how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte’s observation, and hurried her away to her room.

CHAPTER 35

Elizabeth awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and meditations which had at length closed her eyes. She could not yet recover from the surprise of what had happened; it was impossible to think of anything else; and, totally indisposed for employment, she resolved, soon after breakfast, to indulge herself in air and exercise. She was proceeding directly to her favourite walk, when the recollection of Mr. Darcy’s sometimes coming there stopped her, and instead of entering the park, she turned up the lane, which led farther from the turnpikeroad. The park paling was still the boundary on one side, and she soon passed one of the gates into the ground.

After walking two or three times along that part of the lane, she was tempted, by the pleasantness of the morning, to stop at the gates and look into the park. The five weeks which she had now passed in Kent had made a great difference in the country, and every day was adding to the verdure of the early trees. She was on the point of continuing her walk, when she caught a glimpse of a gentleman within the sort of grove which edged the park; he was moving that way; and, fearful of its being Mr. Darcy, she was directly retreating. But the person who advanced was now near enough to see her, and stepping forward with eagerness, pronounced her name.

She had turned away; but on hearing herself called, though in a voice which proved it to be Mr. Darcy, she moved again towards the gate.

He had by that time reached it also, and, holding out a letter, which she instinctively took, said, with a look of haughty composure, “I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honour of reading that letter?” And then, with a slight bow, turned again into the plantation, and was soon out of sight.

With no expectation of pleasure, but with the strongest curiosity, Elizabeth opened the letter, and, to her still increasing wonder, perceived an envelope containing two sheets of letter-paper, written quite through, in a very close hand. The envelope itself was likewise full. Pursuing her way along the lane, she then began it.

To Be Continued Next Issue

Observer Crossword Solution No 11 F L OP P I E R A Z U K I CHOR T L E S E N U D I S H E E P S N O M H AG R EG I ME N D N P E B F OR E S AW W N R UN S T UD I E N N N N L I A I S I NG O R E U VO L T AGE U L NO E D E POS E D R V MO I E NC AMP M I L L E A L E T SGO G A R E Y R I ME A N T N E W B A N A T R E L A Y S X T H A I A PO L L O O E A R I N P L A S T E R P R R E I MA R T I N I I P G E N I CHO L A S T O L T OU T S I D E R N P I EMB A S S Y A R MA N I N I T I A L L A Y E A H Y E N A S B A D MA U MA RGA R E T N G N E I D E S C E ND S

N V U N B I N D S

N S P E L L S N

A S S I G N S T E

E X C A V A I GU Y RO A E L MA ND E E N N H E C T L E R L EON P W F UNG HUN I L L U S T O O H E C K L E K V R A I S E T N N OUGH T N I S AM I D I E UNCOU D U U F OS U L I L L OY D E M L F I B R E T U N ODDME V S S E NME S R E A I N T R T R H E A V L E M R E P A T M C H A B I T A A I T URNO G N S CO T S

A T E E L DOR A DO H A S T E N W P E S N A Z A R E T H D Y L A N N S O L A O I NDOOR S N Y L ON O M T I C L GA ND E R T E N S E S T I OR E E R H E A T S ME A T A X E N T I R S I N A N E S UND A E S OR B E E B T S E T S E P S A L M U I D E R S E A RMU F F S O M D M Y T M I A OW O V I N E I P N OWN N A T O T EM E DGE D L E E A I D E M I R E L A ND MOB S M V P O I R P L E P A L A T I A L E R A I A C T A T T L E S S U I T S P I N E T S N P L E A T WE DGE I E D R S I I M T RUC E N E R V E I P A K T R N T S S T A L L I NG E A V E S E N I H M P A S T E RN OP E N A I R S AG O N R ROA S T T E E N AGE W C E S T S L A S H R E S P E C T R E L S T L A S S E N T CH A F F C E P U E T F I A NC E E T BON E L K N V E R O I L P A I N T R A YON E N MA N N EG L I GE E

T ON E D E NOM M V WA R B L I V E R E C R P R E T A S T E L D H A S B E D E A L O I N I TW I C N E T R AGE D I S R F M EGG F L I U O T A I R B A OMB T T L E S S E NGE R L E ME A D A N T I N G N AGG CH E E P E I P L A U S U A L R K ME A S T HOU P A L E A D I NC E C U T T E R OA R E E R E A P E E T L E NG I N E S T M C UN S C E N T L R U T MA R A U A T E D N N S L A C K A S S E E T D E S I OA H T G MA NHO L U P S I O S P A C I O

A F O NG G T Y H E N A T S R E S I P S T S E R E S V OW K E D I Z A R L Y I T O R E D E R S I E R E E D N D S L E N S S T E E S T U S

Melbourne People

Old Scotch Collegians, Ivanhoe Grammarians

● Howard Purcell and John Connell with Old Scotch Collegians’ Brian Turnley

● Graeme Hawke and Michael Holloway of Ivanhoe Grammarians

● Frank Jenkins with Jim Puohotaua

● Kev Poke with Clive Smith

● John Bell and Peter Turnley (Old Scotch Collegians)

● Stephen Carpenter, George Foenander and Neville Emerson

● Scott Dando with Les Elkin

● John Blyth with Steve Latimer

Melbourne People

Celebrations Around Melbourne Photos: Sue Deenim and Gigi Hellmuth

40th Birthday Party for Rob Mascara (‘Belvedere’)

● Rob Mascara with John Foreman

● At Good Morning Australia

● Showbiz sensations Maria Venuti and Suzanne Carbone

Melbourne television identity Rob Mascara, nicknamed by Bert Newton as ‘Belvedere’, celebrated his 40th birthday with close friends this month.

Rob has been a popular Floor Manager on local TV productions, particularly news and morning programs at Network 10.

● George Donikian was at Belevdere’s party

● Rob Mascara with Mal Walden

Don Crawford’s Good Friday‘Fish Fry’

● Don Crawford with Diana Simons

● Musicians Howard Rowe (washboard) and Don Gallagher (cymbals)

● Glenyce and Bill Leithhead

● Phyllis ‘Iris’ Crawford with Pamela Rowe

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 41

Touring The Southern Highlands,NSW

Glorious Southern Highlands Bradman honoured at Bowral

■ Trying to pinpoint why so many people are attracted to the Southern Highlands is all but impossible.

The scenery? Yes, but visitors are divided between the rolling green hills and the dramatic waterfalls in the true national park wilderness.

Shopping? Definitely, but is it the markets, the antiques, the books or the specialty shops.

The sense of history is a big drawcard, some like the quaint villages, while others enjoy the sporting memorabilia.

While away a day or two, visiting cellar doors and treating the senses to a cool climate food and wine experience.

The Southern Highlands is a unique area. In fact it is hard to find a region similar anywhere else in Australia.

No matter what brings you to the Southern Highlands, you'll have something in common with everyone, and that's trouble deciding what to do first.

Through its Visitor Information Centre, Tourism Southern Highlands sells tickets for many local attractions.

The Southern Highlands is well known for its colourful gardens, leisurely pursuits, diverse landscape, history and heritage, and welcoming accommodation.

But there is another side to the area that offers a range of activities to pursue and enjoy.

The Southern Highlands can cater to those who: ■ are seeking action and adventure, bushwalking, exploring wilderness, horseback riding ■ are perfecting pastimes, playing or practising golf, or trying their hand at fly fishing ■ enjoy festivals and shows, or explore historical pursuits ■ appreciate art and fine goods, art and antiques collectors.

■ appreciate a "good drop" with cool climate cellar doors and excellent local eateries.

■ The International Cricket Hall of Fame is located in Bowral at the heart of the Southern Highlands in New South Wales. Located just 90 minutes from Canberra, The International Cricket Hall of Fame is a must see attraction for any visitor.

The Bradman Experience is just one of the highlights of a trip to Bowral and the Southern Highlands.

Discover the local wineries, boutiques, Restaurants and before you know it you’ve turned it into a two day trip. From only $199 you can enjoy overnight accommodation for two, tickets to the International Cricket Hall of Fame, a Bradman DVD and a special Peppers experience.

Featuring cutting edge technology, interactive touch-screens and much more, The International Cricket Hall of Fame is dedicated to promoting the game of cricket not just to the keen followers of the game but to all who wonder, what is cricket and why is it so important to millions of people around the world?

Cricket is Australia’s national summer sport and has become one of the most popular sports, for players and spectators, in the world. After your visit to The International Cricket Hall of Fame, you will have a deep appreciation of cricket, the game Sir Donald Bradman described as ‘the greatest character builder of all our sports’.

Open everyday 10am – 5pm, except for Good Friday and Christmas Day.

Page 42 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Touring The Southern Highlands,NSW

Bring in this ad for

FREE ENTRY

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 43

Touring The Southern Highlands,NSW

Page 44 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Queensland Travel

SENIOR SPECIAL

COSY LOG FIRE Upgrade to a spa suite

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012 - Page 45

Places To Go

WANDERERS RETREAT PORT STEPHENS Winner - NSW Tourism Gold Award A unique wildlife oasis at One Mile Beach, just 7 km from Nelson Bay. Nestled in natural bushland near the beach, with pockets of gardens and lush lawns within a koala habitat.

Do a little or a lot on your holiday ☛ Lounge by the pool, relax on your spacious verandah, be amazed by the koalas, possums, birds or kangaroos, meander along beautiful bush and beach walks, OR ☛ Experience the attractions and restaurants of Port Stephens, using the many discount vouchers Wanderers has organized for you.

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Enjoy your quiet private balcony or relax in your large double corner spa with complimentary champagne and chocolates. ☛ Eco Cottages for 2 to 5 - delightful, fully self-contained. Everything to make your stay easy and comfortable. ☛ Beach Spa House for 2 to 9 amazing, modern and beautifully appointed with stunning furnishings, 4 bedrooms, 4 verandahs, huge outdoor spa.

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Visit our website:

www.wanderers retreat.com to see lots of photos and information.

7 Koala Place, One Mile Beach. 2316 Phone: 02 4982 1702 All offers valid for minimum 2 night stays until September 27, 2012. Not valid Public Holidays breaks or with any other offer. Subject to availability.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 46 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Places To Go