Melbourne Observer. October 3, 2018

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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2018

VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

49TH YEAR OF PUBLICATION $2.95

S TATE EDITION Vol 50 No 1714 SERVING VICTORIA SINCE 1969

IT’S GOODNIGHT including GST

● Ian Henderson, ABC-TV newsreader, is hanging up the microphone. His final bulletin will be on Thursday next week (Oct. 11). Ian Henderson joined the ABC in 1980 and reported at home and abroad, including working as a state political and industrial reporter during his 38-year career at ‘Aunty’.

Grosvenor in Cairns Holiday Apartments Fully Self Contained 1 and 2 bedroom apartments Looking to escape the cold this winter; then head on up to Cairns - always warm!

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or ring 1800 629 179

SEE OUR AD ON PAGE 49

● See Page 66 FRANCSHISEES WANTED URGENTLY Melbourne Metro and Country Vic Options available; Some territories already trading; Some leads provided Low cost entry

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● See advert, back page

See ad on Page 8 Camberwell Sewing Centre

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Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018

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Best Places

STOP - before you 'flick' the page over … read on (it's worth it)

ANOTHER AD….? YEAH ... But a "great" little ad and worth reading! NOW is the time to be planning and booking a holiday away from Melbourne … to the and sun of Cairns in Far North Queensland.. What a fantastic time to visit; You won't find any 'advertising hype' here … we don't need to talk like that; we just give you the plain, simple truth about what we offer - great accommodation in Cairns at a good price. Choose from a 1 or 2 bedroom, fully self-contained apartment that is complete with a full kitchen, large living room, bathroom with walk in shower plus FOXTEL and air-conditioning. FREE WiFi & FREE use of the 24/7 fitness center/gym across the road. The pool is solar heated so even in winter when the temperature is down a bit the pool is still usable (21 to 25 degrees as opposed to 17 degrees in an unheated pool). Adjacent to the pool is an undercover meals/BBQ area that has a shower room and bathroom. SO … COME ON UP…. Contact us now!

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GROSVENOR IN CAIRNS SPECIALS for Melbourne Observer readers only (must mention this ad when booking)

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10% off - plus an arrival taxi transfer and a bottle of wine SO … visit our website …. Choose your holiday dates and Accommodation type … and then ring or email (don't forget to mention this Ad) … and we will take care of the rest for you! www.grosvenorcairns.com.au PHONE 1800 629 179 (Toll free call - within Australia only) 07 4031 8588 (from outside Australia ring 61 7 4031 8588) 07 4031 8521 (from outside Australia ring 61 7 4031 8521) Mobile 0403 15 0805 EMAIL info@grosvenorcairns.com.au (accounts/information) reception@grosvenorcairns.com.au (bookings) SEND MAIL PO Box 2735 Cairns, Queensland. 4870 STREET ADDRESS 186 to 188 McLeod Street Cairns (on the corner of Grove St)

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Melbourne

Tap Dance Festival in Melb.

What’s On Benalla Art Gallery

■ The 7th annual Australian Tap Dance Festival takes centre stage in Melbourne this spring until October 6, with a line-up of talented Tappers arriving for Australia’s premier celebration of Tap. The Australian Tap Dance Festival is the only festival of its kind in Australasia and offers an action-packed week of Tap and choreography, lessons and master classes, dance battles, seminars, a Gala show and special events for all ages and levels. The festival will run at Melbourne’s Ministry of Dance, a full accredited dance and training studio founded by renowned Australian dancer, choreographer, performer and presenter Jason Coleman. This year’s Festival faculty features an exceptional line up of aTap artists including American headliner Melinda Sullivan – one of the most sought after Tap soloists and choreographers in the world (The Late Late Show with James Corden, La La Land, SYTYCD USA). Other esteemed faculty include Winston Morrison (founder of Melbourne Tap Dance and Australian Tap Dance Festival Director), Tyler Knowlin (currently touring with Riverdance), Peta Anderson (currently touring with Eireborne), Bill Simpson (founder of Red Hot Rhythm and choreographer Strictly Gershwin), Brianna Taylor (one of the first female Australian Tap dancers to perform on Broadway in Untapped USA and currently touring with Nick Young’s Tap company in LA), Shane Preston (Tap Dogs), Luke Alleva (London West End performances, The Dancin’ Man), Jack Egan (The Forge Tap Project), Eden Read (OperaAustralia, The Space Dance & Arts Centre), Leanne Driel (WATap Orchestra), Jessie Cram (Rhythm Tap Melbourne) and Emma Wickham (creator of Footnotes Tap troupe). Event Dates: Until October 6 Venue: Jason Coleman’s Ministry of Dance. 64 Sutton St., North Melbourne Bookings: australiantapdancefestival.com.au/ book-now/

Art on Saturdays Artist Janet Leith kicks off Benalla'sArt on Saturdays program with a drawing session focussing on portraiture-facial proportions and tonal structure-using graphite pencils, charcoal, oilsticks/oil pastels and canvas paper. This workshop is suitable for beginners, but will also appeal to those with more experience and is the first of four sessions in October led by Janet. Artists Kate Jenvey and Margaret Zaal will also be leading five more workshops throughout November and December. Begins Saturday October 6 from 1 - 4pm. Venue: Education Space $20 members. $25 non-members. Four sessions $70 members, $85 non-members ★ Broken River Potters Workshop Join Benalla's BrokenRiver Potter's Group for an exhibition tour and pottery workshop. You will learn ancient potterymaking techniques that involve creating forms without a pottery wheel, using hands, fingers and simple tools. For families. $20 members, $25 nonmembers. Bookings essential on 03 5760 2619 Payment required on booking. All materials supplied. Saturday, November 17, 10am - 2pm. BenallaArt Gallery Botanical Gardens, Bridge St. Benalla - Peter Kemp

Kingston Arts ■ Tired of running art projects on a shoe string? One of Australia's top producers, Erin Milne takes you through a hands-on practical workshop, building a case for funding your art project through targeted writing, support materials and budgets. Wednesday October 17. 6pm - 8pm. $10 Full. $5 concession. Kingston Arts, 979 Nepean Hwy. Moorabbin. - Peter Kemp

Observations

with Matt Bissett-Johnson ● American tap dancer Melinda Sullivan.

Zelos released

Mike McColl Jones ● Ben Mortley and Shannon Ashlyn in Zelos ■ The new independent Australian film titled can settling the score ever save a relationZelos will be launched on the iTunes Store, ship? Amazon Prime and Google Play on October The story tells of Bernard the 35 year old 13. he always planned to be. He has a successful Writer and producer Claire Harris said this career, a meticulously neat beachside apartdigital release is very exciting as Zelos has ment and a girlfriend, Sarah, whom he adores. been filmed on a low budget through a mixBut his pristine existence is turned upside ture of self-financing, government funding, down when Sarah confesses to an affair. To private investment and fundraising. salvage the relationship, Sarah insists they Although the crew is predominantly fe- equal the playing field: male, including the writer, director, producers Bernard should sleep with another woman. and camera department, the story centres A man who would never cheat is asked by the around a male protagonist. Since men often woman he loves to have sex with someone write stories about women, the writers figured else to save their relationship – a compromise it was about time that a male story was told which may ultimately destroy them. through a female lens. For further information about this film, visit The film asks a unique question that many http://www.zelosthemovie.com/about-theyoung people navigating the complex world film/ of real-world and online dating can relate to: - Maggie Morrison

Top 5

THE T OP 5 C OMMENT S TOP COMMENT OMMENTS HEARD A T THE ‘G’ AT LA ST S ATURD AY. LAS SA TURDA

5. "That's not a statue - that's Molly! 4. "Look whose selling Footy Records Michelle Guthrie and Justin Milne". 3. "Bloody Hell! I had to sell some BHP shares to pay for two pies!". 2. "It was a bit like Mr Ed beating Winx". 1. "Nathan, Eddie here. Could you pop into my office please?”

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Melbourne

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Observer The Arts Melbourne

Observer Artlands Victoria inc orpor a ting the Melbourne A d vvertiser ertiser, incorpor orpora Ad Melbourne T ict orian Rur al Ne ws Trr ader ader,, V Vict ictorian Rural New and Melbourne Seniors News News.. Victoria’s Independent Newspaper First Published September 14, 1969 Every W ednesda y Wednesda ednesday

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■ The crucial dialogue on the impact created by regional arts and artists continues as Artlands Victoria unites the national sector to share knowledge, trade resources and exchange gifts at a platform to learn and understand innovative research and new ideas into regional cultural practice. Held in Bendigo and Castlemaine over five days in October, the full Artlands Victoria program is onw announced - it includes 13 panels, 23 sessions over 20 workshops, works in progress, conversations and special events with over 20 cultural and local visual arts projects all interspersed around the eight keynote presentations. TheArtlands Victoria program id curated to connect creative projects with critical conversations on key themes - from health and wellbeing in the arts to innovative practice across industries, and form indigenous practice on country to developments in technology, education and skills development. Linking the arts sector with industries that export growth, productivity and innovation in a regional context, Artlands Victoria facilitates a dialogue that advocates a model that is socially, creatively, financially, environmentally and artistically sustainable. Celebrating 20 years in 2018, Artlands is a biennial event presented by Regional Arts Australia's member organisations that shines a national spotlight on Australia's regional arts. Artlands Victoria: October 10 -14. - Peter Kemp

Morn. Peninsula Regional Gallery Jamfactory Icon Jamfactory's icon series celebrates /south Australia's most influential artists. Catherine Truman's practice is renowned for its diversity and incorporates contemporary jewellery, objects, digital image and film installation with a focus on the parallels between artistic process and scientific method. Investigating Truman's 20 years of collaborative practice at the nexus of art and science, this exhibition is an important retrospective of the multiple engagements Truman has had working with scientists over this time as well as featuring a new body of work. Intimate Journals -Anne Ferran: Anne Ferran spent over a year working with the collection of Boyd family books in the Bundanon Library, searching for hidden notes in the margins and items slipped between the pages. This Bundanon Trust commission reflects upon the Homestead and the people who inhabited it over time. It is characteristic if Ferran's images that the subject is not what it seen but rather who haunts it. Line of Enquiry: Includes artists who explore social and political issues through historic sources; from a contemporary take on Colonial Australia by Danie Mellor, Sally Smart and Rew Hanks to a postmodernist approach, referencing art history alongside heir own cultural histories by Juan Davila and Brian Robinson. The exhibition includes works referencing varied sciences; Martin Howard Boscott's examination of colour dispersal; Trinh Vu's investigation of technological change and its impact; and animal behavioural research informs the work of artists Lisa Roet, Jazmina Cinenas and Deborah Williams. Exhibitions close on November 18 Mornington Peninsula Regional Gallery Civic Reserve Dunns Rd, Mornington - Peter Kemp

“Abuse often exists behind the pretense of nurture. The exaggerated length of the sleeves point to growth impeded by the past, and to the present where the effects of trauma can never be fully exorcised. “The raincoats point to the presence of the perpetrator. I have attempted to play with notions of the unheimlich, as well as on Catholicism as an institution that is replete with images that aestheticize pain and suffering." -Simon Crosby. Exhibition Saturday October 6 - Saturday October 27. Gallery hours Wednesdays - Saturdays 12pm. - 5pm. Dark Horse Experiment Level 1, 20-24 Wharf St. The District, Docklands, Melbourne - Peter Kemp

Hamlet Apocalypse The Danger Ensemble presents The Hamlet Apocalypse from November 7 – 18 at Theatre Works, St Kilda. Directed by Steven Mitchell Wright, the story of The Hamlet Apocalypse unfolds as seven actors stage Hamlet on the eve of the apocalypse. As the clock ticks down and the line between fiction and reality blur, actors, characters, and worlds collide... distilled into the simplest of human states. It’s a high stakes game where audience and actors alike are left asking; What’s fact? What’s fiction? What really matters? “We were looking at the idea of the apocalypse in all its forms. We soon realised that how the world was ending was irrelevant, but it was essential that it was specific and personal for each performer, and that needn't be shared with the audience.”, explains Director Steven Mitchell Wright on the particular style of the work. “It was evident that Hamlet was the best fit because of its themes around death, legacy, ghosts, incoming war or destruction, and love”, said Wright. “As a company we actively pursue the collision and blurring of the actors as themselves and the characters they play. The mash up of personal truth and experiences on stage and a characters journey creates a tension that we really enjoy - it's difficult and it's not always comfortable, but it's rich territory. We want to take risks and make work that can't be easily dismissed - we aren't interested in the idea of the audiences 'liking' or 'not liking' a work. A show should make an audience feel something, and that feeling should never be bored.” Performed by Chris Beckey, Katrina Cornwell, Nicole Harvey, Thomas Hutchins, Polly Sará, Peta Ward and Mitch Wood Performance Dates: November 7-18 Times: Tues - Sat 8pm, Sun 5pm Tickets: $47.50 Full, $39.50 Concession, $35.50 Preview (booking fees included) Bookings: 9534 3388 or online at www.theatreworks.org.au/program/hamletapocalypse Venue: Theatre Works - 14 Acland St, St Kilda www.dangerensemble.com Running time: 70 mins no interval - Cheryl Threadgold

Your Stars with Kerry Kulkens Aries: March 21- April 20. Colour blue Lucky day friday Racing numbers 1.6.5.2. Lotto numbers 1.15.18.24.25.22. Most will be feeling rather generous and give away some presents. They may also go on a spending spree. Travel is indicated and someone is causing you to change your mind on a certain subject. Taurus:April 21- May 20. Colour black Lucky day sunday Racing numbers 1.3.5.3. Lotto numbers 10.20.5.44.2.8. Good news is indicated and your reputation should be in for a boost. Your future looks pretty good. The cnace to realize a dreanm travel to a far away place could come true. Gemini . May 21- June 21. Colour red Lucky day tuesday Racing numbers 5.6.2.1. Lotto numbers 5.36.34.45.41.40. You will get more done and do it better if there is a partner to share the load with you. Do not fight with your neighbours or friends as this could affect your nerves and your judgement. Cancer: June 22- July 22. Colour blue Lucky day. Saturday Racing numbers 5.8.6.1. Lotto numbers 1.5.18.16.23.32. Partners could get a little annoyed if you over spend. There could be a conflict of interests over children or elderly people. Travel could come as a surprise. Leo: July 23-August 22. Colour bone Lucky day tuesday Racing numbers 1.2.5.2. Lotto numbers 1.2.25.36.33.3. Most should be more in the mood for love. Spontaneous overtures from loved ones should delight. Most will be busier than ever before. Virgo:August 23- September 23. Colour blue Lucky day tuesday Racing numbers 1.5.6.3. Lotto numbers 1.5.22.32..25.24. There may be some emotional pressure on you at present. Try not to blow your stack, especially at home. Some luck at a gamble is indicated. Libra: September 22- October 23. Colour peach Lucky day monday Racing numbers 5.6.2.4. Lotto numbers 1.5.13.15.32.33. It should not be the worst period for your money matters so if you plan well you should benefit. The possibility of some social entertaining could throw your resting palns a bit. Scorpio: October 24-- November 22. Colour lemon Lucky day friday Racing 1.2.4.1. Lotto numbers 12.16.25.24.45.40. You should be able to let go a little and have some fun now.After a busy period a good rest is also needed do take advantage of a holiday of sorts to be offered to you very soon. Sagittarius: November 23- December 20 Lucky colour red Lucky day tuesday Racing numbers 2.6.3.5. Lotto numbers 13.15.11.10..42.45. This is a period in which you should get your own way. Try not to over do the celebrating as your energies will be needed very soon on something else. Capricorn: December 21- January 19. Colour green Lucky day friday Racing 5.6.3.3.. Lotto numbers 36.35.24.42.11.10.. To get somewhere over this period you have to make an extra effort. There could be some big changes coming your way and your talents could be needed in an unusal way. Aquarius : January 20- February 19. Lucky colour jade green Lucky day saturday Racing numbers 5.2.7.8. Lotto numbers 10.13.15.45.42.11. Best time for romantic interludes and something surprising could happen to you or a close one. Do not let this put you off your usual work routine as this is a period for promotions. Pisces: February 20- March 20. Colour dark pink Lucky day thursday. Racing 2.1.3.1. Lotto numbers 1.5.12.21.24.42.. People might not agree with you during this period so try again a bit later, as your ideas are not bad as you think. No good worrying over yesterday look towards tomorrow.

Dark Horse Experiment

Aries : March 21-April 20. Colour: Red Lucky day: Sunday Racing numbers: 9.6.5.4. Lotto numbers: 3.5.14.40.12.10. This will be a period of improvements in all aspects; you could be more health conscious than usual and try out some new diets. You could find a new way of making money. try resting occasionally if you can.

Trauma/Pre-Trauma by Simon Crosby. " I see clothing as a metaphor for human actions and wool as a tactile and familiar medium that evoke memory. This is a biographical piece based on experiences at a Catholic boarding school and the consequences that follow.

KERRY KULKENS PS YCHIC LINE 190 2 240 051 or 1800 727 727 CALL COST: $5.50 INC G.S.T. PER MIN. MOB/PAY EXTR A. VISIT KERR Y KULKENS MAGIC SHOP AT 1 693 BURW OOD HWY BELG RAVE PH/FAX (0 3) 9754 4587 W WW .KERRY KULKENS.C OM.AU Like us on Facebook

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GISBORNE. Gisborne Newsagency. Shop 20, Village Shopping Centre. GLENFERRIE. Glenferrie Newsagency. 660 Glenferrie Rd GLEN WAVERLEY. Kingsway Newsagency. Shop 4, 39 Kingsway. GLEN WAVERLEY. Syndal Newsagency. 238 Blackburn Rd. GLEN WAVERLEY. The Glen Newsagency. Shop 2, 065 The Glen Shopping Centre. GLENROY. Glenroy Newsagency. 773 Pascoe Vale Rd. GRANTVILLE. Grantville Newsagency. 1509 Bass Hwy. GREENSBOROUGH. Plaza News. Shop 4/5, Greensborough Plaza. GREYTHORN. Greythorn Newsagency. 272 Doncaster Rd. HADFIELD. Hadfield Newsagency. 120 West St HAMPTON. Hampton Newsagency. 345347 Hampton St. HAMPTON EAST. Hampton East Newsagency. 412 Bluff Rd. HAMPTON PARK. Hampton Park Newsagency. Shop 3, Shopping Centre HAWTHORN . Glenferrie South Newsagency. 546 Glenferried Rd HAWTHORN. Hawthorn News & Lotto. 89 Burwood Rd. HAWTHORN EAST. Auburn Newsagency. 119 Auburn Rd. HAWTHORN EAST. Auburn South Newsagency. 289 Auburn Rd. HEIDELBERG. Heidelberg Heights Newsagency. 35 Southern Rd. HEIDELBERG. Heidelberg Newsagency. 124 Burgundy St. HEIDELBERG WEST. The Mall Newsagency. Shop 18 The Mall. HOLMESGLEN. Holmesglen Newsagency. 637 Warrigal Rd. HUNTINGDALE. Huntingdale Newsagency. 290 Huntingdale Rd. INDENTED HEADS. Intended Heads Newsagency. 13 The Esplanade. KEILOR. Keilor Newsagency. 700 Old Calder Hwy. KEW. Cotham Newsagency. 97 Cotham Rd. KEW. Kew Newsagency. 175 High St. KEW NORTH. North Kew Newsagency. 93 Willsmere St. KINGSVILLE. Kingsville Newsagency. 339 Somerville Rd. KNOX CITY. Knox City Newsagency, Wantirna South. KNOXFIELD. Knoxfield Newsagency. 1597 Ferntree Gully Rd. KOOYONG. Kooyong Newsagency. 483 Glenferrie Rd. KYABRAM. Kyabram Newsagency. 117 Allan St. KYNETON. Collins Newsagency. 95 Mollison St. LANGWARRIN SOUTH. Langwarrin South Newsagency. 1/143-149 Warrandyte Rd LARA. Lara Newsagency. 44 The Centreway. LILYDALE. Lilydale Newsagency. 237 Main St. LOWER PLENTY. Lower Plenty Newsagency. 95 Main Rd. MALVERN. Lucky Malvern Lotto. 167 Glenferrie Rd. MALVERN. Malvern Newsagency. 114 Glenferrie Rd. MALVERN. Malvern Village Newsagency. 1352 Malvern Rd. MALVERN EAST. Central Park Newsagency. 393 Wattletree Rd. MALVERN EAST NEWSAGENCY. Waverley Road Newsagency. 336 Waverley Rd. McKINNON. McKinnon Newsagency. 163 McKinnon Rd MELBOURNE. Domain Newsagency. Shop 6, 401 St Kilda Rd. MELBOURNE. Flinders Street Newsagency. 65 Flinders St. MELTON. Newsxpress Melton. MENTONE. Mentone Newsagency. 24 Como Pde. MERLYNSTON. Merlynston Newsagency. 17 Merlyn St. MIDDLE PARK. Middle Park Newsagency. 16 Armstrong St. MILDURA. Klemm's Mildura Newsagency. 53 Langtree Mall. MILDURA. Mildura Newsagency and Lotto. 71 Langtree Ave. MILL PARK. Mill Park Newsagency. 4 Stables Shopping Centre. MITCHAM. Mitcham Newsagency. 503 Whitehorse Rd. MITCHAM NORTH. Mitcham North Newsagency. 228 Mitcham Rd MOOROOPNA. Mooroopna Newsagency. 84 McLennan St. MORDIALLOC. Warren Village Newsagency. 87 Warren Rd. MORNINGTON. Mornington Newsagency. 97 Main St. MORWELL. Morwell Newsagency. 176 Commercial Rd. MOUNT ELIZA. Mount Eliza Newsagency. 102 Mount Eliza Way.

MOUNT GAMBIER. Posters Newsagency. 79 Commercial St East. MOUNT MARTHA. Mount Martha Newsagency. 2 Lochiel Ave. MOUNT WAVERLEY. Pinewood Newsagency. Shop 59, Centreway Shopping Centre. MOUNTAIN GATE. Mountain Gate Newsagency. Shop 9B, Mountain Gate Shopping Centre. MULGRAVE. Northvale Newsagency. 901 Springvale Rd. MULGRAVE. Waverley Gardens Newsagency. Shop 44, Waverley Gardens. MURRUMBEENA. Murrumbeena Newsagency. 456 Neerim Rd. NARRE WARREN. Narre Warren Newsagency. Shop 1, Narre Warren. NEWBOROUGH. Newborough Newsagency. 30 Rutherglen St. NEWMARKET. Newmarket Newsagency. 292 Racecourse Rd NOBLE PARK. Noble Park Newsagency. 422 Douglas St. NORTHCOTE. Newsplaza Newsagency, Northcote Plaza. NORTHCOTE. Northcote Newsagency. 335 High St. NORTH MELBOURNE. Ledermans Newsagency. 234-244 Macauley Rd. NUNAWADING. Mountainview Newsagency. 293A Springfield Rd. PARKDALE. Parkdale Newsagency. 238 Como Pde. West. PASCOE VALE SOUTH. Coonans Hill Newsagency. 67 Coonans Rd. PASCOE VALE SOUTH. Paper N Post. 372-380 Bell St. PRESTON. Preston N’agency. 377 High St. PRESTON. Preston Town Hall Newsagency. 247-249 Murray Rd. PRINCES HILL. Princes Hill Newsagency. 607 Lygon St RESERVOIR. Broadway Newsagency. 279 Broadway. RICHMOND. Swan St Newsagency. 108 Swan St. RICHMOND. Vernons Newsagency. 308A Bridge Rd. RINGWOOD EAST. Ringwood East Newsagency. 52 Railway Ave. RINGWOOD NORTH. North Ringwood Newsagency. 182 Warrandyte Rd. ROBINVALE. Robinvale Newsagency. 67 Perrin St. ROSANNA. Rosanna Newsagency. 135 Lower Plenty Rd. ROSEBUD. Rosebud Newsagency. 1083 Point Nepean Rd. RYE. Rye Newsagency. 2371 Pt Nepean Rd. SALE. Sale Newsagency. 310 Raymond St. SANDRINGHAM. Sandringham Newsagency. Shop 5, 18-34 Station St. SCORESBY. Scoresby Newsagency. 14 Darryl St. SEAFORD. Seaford Newsagency. 124 Nepean Hwy. SEBASTOPOL. Sebastopol Newsagency. Shop 3, 'Safeway Complex'. SHEPPARTON. Goulburn Valley Newsagency. 314 Wyndham St. SHEPPARTON. Lovell Newsagency. 246 Wyndham St. SOMERVILLE. Somerville Newsagency. Shop 24, Plaza, Eramosa Rd. SOUTH MELBOURNE. Clarendon Newsagency. 9 Thistlewaite St. SPRINGVALE. Springvale Newsagency. 321 Springvale Rd. STRATHFIELDSAYE. Strathfieldsaye News and Lotto. Shop 5, 939 Wellington St. TARWIN LOWER. Tarwin Lower Newsagency. 45 River Drive. TATURA. Tatura N’agency. 138 Hogan St. TEMPLESTOWE. Macedon News and Lotto. THORNBURY. Normanby News and Lotto. 25 Macedon Rd TOORADIN. Tooradin Newsagency. 92 South Gippsland Hwy. TOORAK. Toorak Village Newsagency. 479 Toorak Rd. TORQUAY. Torquay Newsagency. 20 Gilbert St. TRARALGON. Seymour Street Newsagency. 83 Seymour St. TRARALGON. Traralgon News and Lotto. 51-53 Franklin St. TULLAMARINE. Tullamarine Newsagency. 2/191 Melrose Dr. VERMONT. Vermont Authorised Newsagency. 600 Canterbury Rd. VERMONT SOUTH. Vermont South Newsagency. Shop 14, 495 Burwood Hwy. WANTIRNA SOUTH. Wantirna South Newsagency. 223 Stud Rd. WARRAGUL. Warragul Newsagency. 43 Victoria St. WARRNAMBOOL. Reinheimers Newsagency. 145 Koroit St. WATSONIA. Watsonia Newsagency. Watsonia Rd. WHEELERS HILL. Wheelers Hill Newsagency. WODONGA. Mahon's Newsagency. 168 High St. YARRAVILLE. Yarraville Newsagency. 59 Anderson St.

MARKETING FEATURE

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 13

Observer Magazine

Stateside with Gavin Wood in West Hollywood

Birthday of International Hotelier ■ Hi everyone, from my suite at the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites comes this week's news.

Alan Johnson celebrates

■ It was a huge day in West Hollywood as we celebrated Alan Johnson's birthday. Alan is your typical hotelier and always serves the guests first and makes sure they are comfortable in the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites. This time we got to celebrate all of what Alan Johnson has brought to West Hollywood. The many hospitality awards that he has received, indicates that Alan is on top of his game. Most of his loyal and trusted Ramada staff, many have been with him for over 35 years, all got to celebrate with him. To wrap up the birthday celebrations it was on to the Palm Restaurant in Beverly Hills where Alan was special guest with all his corporate and personal friends. It was a long day of celebrating and to say thank you for a job well done. Alan is pictured at the Palm Restaurant in Beverly Hills some with some of his closest friends in Los Angeles.

Fly me to the Moon, Elon ■ Elon Musk's SpaceX sells passenger seats on proposed moon trip to Japanese billionaire Yusaku Maezawa who will be the first private passenger to fly around the moon on SpaceX's Big Falcon Rocket. Maezawa, who founded online retailers Start Today and Zozotown and, is one of Japan's richest citizens, purchased all passenger seats on the flight. He said he intends to give the other seats to "six to eight artists from around the world," who will then create works inspired by the journey upon their return. SpaceX did not disclose how much Maezawa will pay for the voyage other than that the amount is "significant," and that he has, so far, made a down payment. Maezawa's trip still depends on whether or not the vessel, which will be funded in part by his payments, is completed. Musk also said it will stand 387 feet tall, with front actuator fins and three back wings that will also serve as functional landing pads. SpaceX is currently working on a prototype in a temporary facility located at the port of Los Angeles. Musk said that the total development cost of the rocket is expected to be around $5 billion.

● Left to right: International movie director Rod Hardy, birthday boy Alan Johnson, international freight forwarder Mike Pattinson, Gavin Wood and Global Wine Chairman Peter Whitfield.

Out and About Americans love pizza

Small Emmy audience ■ Final ratings are in for the Primetime Emmy Awards. The NBC special's 2.4 rating and 10.172 million total viewers officially makes the show the lowest-rated and least-watched Emmys of all-time. But hey, a couple got engaged on the show. Last year's show drew 11.38 million total viewers to CBS, which means the decline from 2017 to 2018 was 10.6 percent. The Stephen Colbert-hosted version received a 2.5 rating in the key adults 18-49 demographic. Both of those prior-year stats were all-time lows at the time, though the overall audience count technically marked a tie with 2016. They've both since been eclipsed (in the wrong direction) now.

‘Fear’ breaks records ■ Fear, Bob Woodward's inside look at the Trump White House, has broken its publisher's record for first-week sales, Simon and Schuster has announced. The publishing house said that Fear sold more copies in ebooks, audio books, and print copies in its first week, which was the top mark in its 94-year history. Simon and Schuster didn't disclose its previous seven-day record holder. "There is only one word to describe the sales of Fear and that word is huge," Jonathan Karp, president and publisher of Simon & Schuster, said in a statement. "What's especially gratifying is the appreciation readers and reviewers have for the integrity and importance of Bob Woodward's reporting." The book's content is taken from hundreds of hours of interviews with aides, first-hand participants and witnesses conducted on "deep background," as well as from meeting notes, personal diaries and government documents. President Trump himself did not sit down for an interview with Woodward. Fear portrayed Trump as a disorganized and unprepared commander-in-chief with the president's cabinet members often

GavinWood

From my Suite at the Ramada Plaza Complex on Santa Monica Blvd crambling to control his worst impulses. White House Chief of Staff John Kelly is described as frequently losing his temper, telling colleagues that the president is "unhinged," Woodward wrote. "He's an idiot. It's pointless to try to convince him of anything. He's gone off the rails," Kelly said in one small meeting, according to Woodward. "We're in Crazy Town. I don't even know why any of us are here. This is the worst job I've ever had."

Ask for Jennifer ■ If you are considering a move to Los Angeles or just coming over for a holiday then I have got a special deal for you. We would love to see you at the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites, 8585 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood. I have secured a terrific joliday deal for readers of the Melbourne Observer and The Local Paper. Please mention 'Melbourne Observer' when you book and you will receive the 'Special Rate of the Day'. Please contact: Jennifer at info@ramadaweho.com

www.gavinwood.us

■ Americans eat approximately 350 slices of pizza per second. ■ The word "pizza" means, "pie" in Italian. ■ While pizza in some form has been baked since antiquity, the first "official" pizzeria opened in Naples around 1830. ■ Samuel Morse, an American most famous for inventing the telegraph, noted that pizza was a "nauseating cake" that looked like "a piece of bread that had been taken reeking out of the sewer." ■ In America, annual pizza sales exceed $28 billion a year. ■ More than three billion pizzas are sold every year in the United States alone. ■ Pizza is the second-leading source of calories in the diet of American children, second behind grain desserts, such as cookies and other carb-heavy treats. ■ More than five billion pizzas are sold each year worldwide. ■ Halloween unseated Super Bowl Sunday as the biggest pizza day of the year. ■ Thanksgiving is the day Americans eat the least amount of pizza.

Roseanne killed by pills ■ Roseanne Barr says her character will be dead when ABC's Roseanne spinoff The Conners debuts later this year. After Barr was abruptly fired by ABC over a racist tweet earlier this year, it had previously been unclear how the show's once-titular character's absence would be explained. ABC still has made no formal announcements about the show's plans but Barr now says she knows how it will play out. "Oh ya, they killed her. They have her die of an opioid overdose," Barr said in an interview with YouTuber Brandon Straka over the weekend. Barr's on-screen husband, John Goodman, previously said that Roseanne would likely be killed off the show, but revealed no details. When asked last month about his own character's future on the spinoff, Goodman said things were still "unknown." "I guess he'll be mopey and sad because his wife's dead," he suggested at the time.

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018

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History

Kinglake was named after writer ■ There is no lake at Kinglake. So how did the region come by its name? Kinglake is named after English travel writer and historian Alexander William Kinglake (August 5, 1809 – January 2, 1891). He was born near Taunton, Somerset, and educated at Eton College and Trinity College, Cambridge. He was called to the Bar in 1837, and built up a thriving legal practice, which, in 1856, he abandoned to devote himself to literature and public life. His first literary venture was Eothen; or Traces of travel brought home from the East (London: J. Ollivier, 1844), a very popular work of Eastern travel, apparently first published anonymously, in which he described a journey he made about 10 years earlier in Syria, Palestine and Egypt, together with his Eton contemporary Lord Pollington. Elliot Warburton said it evoked "the East itself in vital actual reality" and it was instantly successful. However, his magnum opus was The Invasion of The Crimea: Its Origin, and an Account of its Progress down to the Death of Lord Raglan, in eight volumes, published from 1863 to 1887 by Blackwood, Edinburgh, one of the most effective works of its class. The History, which Geoff Bocca describes as a book "by which no intelligent man can fail immediately to be fascinated, no matter to what page he might open it" has been accused of being too favourable to Lord Raglan and unduly hostile to Napoleon III for whom the author had an extreme aversion. The town of Kinglake and the adjacent national park are named after him. A Whig, Kinglake was elected at the 1857 general election as one of the two Members of Parliament for Bridgwater, having unsuccessfully contested the seat in 1852. He was returned at next two general elections, but the result of the 1868 general election in Bridgwater was voided on petition on February 26, 1869. No by-election was held, and after a Royal Commission found that there had been extensive corruption, the town was disenfranchised in 1870. Eothen is reproduced by The Local Paper. ★ INTRODUCTION Eothen is the earliest work of Alexander William Kinglake, best known as the historian of the Crimean War. It is an account of a tour—or rather of selected adventures which occurred during a tour—undertaken in the Levant in 1834, but was not published until 10 years later. The biographical notices of the Author are somewhat meagre, as by his dying directions all his papers were destroyed. He was born near Taunton in 1809, and educated at Eton and Trinity College, Cambridge, at which latter he is said to have been the friend of Thackeray and Tennyson. On leaving college he started on his Oriental tour with Lord Pollington (the Methley of Eothen), and on returning to England was called to the Bar at Lincoln’s Inn, and obtained a lucrative practice. But the life was too tame to suit

● Alexander William Kinglake. Portrait by Harriet M. Haviland (1863) his taste. In 1845 he visited Algeria, and went through a campaign with the flying column of St. Arnaud; and in 1854 went to the Crimea with Lord Raglan, and was present at the battle ofAlma. On returning to England he decided to go into politics, and was elected for Bridgewater in 1857 in the Liberal interest. He seems to have been a poor speaker, and to have exercised little parliamentary influence; but we are told that in 1859 he was strongly opposed to the Conspiracy Bill, which was introduced after Orsini’s attempt to murder Napoleon III, and that in 1860 he denounced the cession of Nice and Savoy to France. In both cases he was apparently actuated by his personal dislike of Napoleon, which is evident in his historical works. In 1868 he was again returned for Bridgewater, but unseated on petition, for bribery. One might have supposed that he had acquired this habit in the East, but his biographers assert that he knew nothing of the irregularities which were committed by his agents. But the chief business of his later life was the composition of the History of the War in the Crimea, of which the first two volumes appeared in 1863, and the seventh and eighth (completing the work) in 1887. He died in 1891. II His earlier and less ambitious, though perhaps more charming, book was rejected by several publishers, but proved an immense success. It caught the popular fancy at

once, and after the lapse of more than 50 years still maintains an honourable position. In the year after its first appearance it passed through three editions, containing several variations from the editio princeps which have attracted the attention of those who are interested in bibliography. It is only fair to reprint the book with these corrections, which seem mostly due to the author’s laudable desire for greater accuracy. For instance, he was apparently seized with qualms as to his assertion (end of chap. xiii.) that when he emerged from the Dead Sea after bathing therein his “skin was thickly encrusted with sulphate of magnesia,” and cautiously substituted “salts” for the more chemical expression. Yet I observe that the most recent Encyclopædia states that “the water of the Dead Sea is characterised by the presence of a large quantity of magnesian salts,” so perhaps his first statement was not so wrong after all. He also found that he had talked of Jove when he should have said Nep tune in his account of the Troad, and, conceiving a mistrust of the former deity, removed his name not only from this passage but also from chap. xviii., in which he altered “That touch was worthy of Jove” into “In that touch was true hospitality.” I confess that I think this regard for truth might have moved him to expunge his account of the advances made to him by the young ladies of Bethlehem (end of chap. xvi.); I cannot believe that narrative to be even probable, but anyone may retort that my scepticism is due to the absence

of those attractive qualities which Kinglake possessed. In chap. xvi. he says that shrouds are dipped in the holy water of the Jordan and “preserved as a burial dress which shall inure” (later editions “enure”) “for salvation in the realms of death.” Some critical scholar of eminence should be called upon to emend or explain this mysterious passage. At least, if people are allowed to print such things in the 19th century what right have we to emend the classical authors when they choose to be unintelligible? The truth is that Eothen, despite its great literary merits, is often comfortably slipshod. And very properly so, for if there is to be any correspondence between subject and style, it must be inappropriate for a traveller recounting confidentially his diversions and mishaps to adopt the phraseology of Gibbon. Matthew Arnold, in his Essay on the Literary Influence of Academies, selected the History of the Crimean War as an example of what he called the Corinthian style. Eothen certainly presents specimens of this manner, but they are hardly characteristic; it is often “urbane,” and has “the warm glow, blithe movement, and pliancy of life,” which, according to the critic’s definition, Corinthians lack. It is not devoid of unity, but it is many sided and kaleidoscopic. The author varies from the trivial to the solemn, from boisterous exuberance to careful austerity, from flippancy to rhapsody, and is perhaps never quite serious. One wonders whether one is reading a clever but somewhat slangy letter, or a long-meditated essay polished and repolished by incessant labor limæ. Perhaps between 1834 and 1844 he worked up and rearranged old spontaneous effusions, as indeed his preface suggests. He often writes like a school boy, and sometimes like a philosopher; he is at his best when he records what he has seen in phrases not without rhetoric and not without humour, but distinct and clear as his own impressions. “The foot falls noiseless in the crumbling soil of an Eastern city, and silence follows you still. Again and again you meet turbans, and faces of men, but they have nothing for you—no welcome—no wonder—no wrath—no scorn—they look upon you as we do upon a December’s fall of snow—as a ‘seasonable,’ unaccountable, uncomfortable work of God, that may have been sent for some good purpose to be revealed hereafter.” How vivid and how true! But perhaps the reader may ask, as I ask myself, whether an introduction to Eothen is really necessary. The book is so simple and complete in itself that it seems to require no explanation or commentary. But for the benefit of those who are not acquainted with the Levant of to-day, it is well to explain that the 64 years which have elapsed since Kinglake made his Eastern tour have brought about important changes in the extent, and some few in the condition, of the Turkish Empire. The “unchanging East” is a popular phrase which is only true in a very limited sense.

of pious publishers of representing Abraham in the costume of a modern Bedouin Sheikh, and it is peculiarly audacious to apply it to regions like Constantinople and Egypt, which have witnessed exceptional vicissitudes and undergone remarkable changes,—political, religious, and linguistic. It is however just to say that the Turk is unchanging,—and it is to the presence of the Turk that are due the peculiar characteristics of the Levant, as the region visited by Kinglake may conveniently be termed; like the Bourbons, he forgets nothing and learns nothing; as he was on the day when he entered Europe, so he was in 1834 and so he is now. The boundaries of Turkey have changed; there are now no Pashas at Belgrade, or even at Sofia; and Ottoman territory is no longer plague-stricken. But whenever one crosses the Turkish frontier, one may find functionaries like the delightful potentate of Karagholookoldour, and be conscious of effecting within the space of a few hundred yards a change greater than can be experienced in any amount of travel in other European countries, including Russia. One passes from regions where people have roughly the same habits and ideas as ourselves—where they believe in political economy, get drunk in public, sit upon chairs, and do not feel there is anything indelicate in mentioning their wives—to a land where people do none of these things, where the naked desolation of the country at the side of the railway offers a startling contrast to the smug prosperity of the Balkan States, where people prefer to sit curled up on hard sofas, and where it s bad taste to condole with a man on his wife’s death. In 1834, the year of Kinglake’s journey, Turkey in Europe was considerably more extensive than at the present day. Greece had already revolted and been recognised as an independent state. Wallachia and Moldavia were in process of securing their freedom. But the territories now known as Bulgaria, Bosnia, and Herzegovina were still integral portions of the Ottoman Empire; and though Servia (in which the scene of the opening chapters of Eothen is laid) had been constituted a principality under Milosh Obrenovich as prince, in 1830, several of the fortresses were still garrisoned by Ottoman troops, which accounts for the presence of the Pasha at Belgrade. It is interesting to observe that though our Author must have proceeded to Adrianople straight across Bulgaria, he never mentions the name of that country. This apparently strange omission is really quite natural. The Bulgarians, though in some ways the most vigorous element among the Balkan races, passed through greater trials than the Servians or Roumanians, and for a time lost their national consciousness more completely. They were nearer Constantinople, and therefore any political movement was more easily kept in check; while all the religious and educational establishments of the country were in the hands of Greek priests who practically proscribed the Bulgarian language. Continued next page

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 15

History ● From previous page I have been informed by a gentleman who has resided 40 years in Turkey, that when he first entered the Ottoman dominions every educated Bulgarian called himself a Greek, and would have been ashamed to employ his national designation, which was hardly in general use before the movement of 1860. Another striking omission of Eothen is that it contains hardly any allusion to the Sultan. At the present day the descendant of Osman, who claims to be also the successor of the Prophet, is a well-known figure to the British public. The Pall Mall Gazette familiarly calls him “The Shadow.” The friends of the Armenians hold him personally responsible for the massacres; and a modern Kinglake, even if bent on avoiding “political disquisitions,” would certainly describe the Selamlik or weekly visit of the Sovereign to the mosque. You cannot travel in Turkey without hearing the name of “Our Master” (Effendimiz) or “the Imperial Person” (Zat-i-Shahane) daily mentioned, and feeling that his wishes (which usually do not coincide with those of European travellers, and affect the minutest details) are the only real power in the country. This state of things is due almost entirely to the personal energy of the present occupant of the Ottoman throne, who for good or evil has succeeded in concentrating all power into his hands, and in displaying the greatest example of practical autocracy ever seen. In 1834 Mahmoud was Sultan, one of the most vigorous of Ottoman princes, but then near his end, and doubtless wearied out by a reign of constant reverse and ineffectual efforts at reform. The Armenian question, like the Bulgarian, is of recent date, and we consequently find that Kinglake says as little of the one as of the other; but he often speaks of the doings of Mehemet Ali and his son Ibrahim Pasha, which at this period formed one of the chief preoccupations of the Porte. Mehemet Ali was a native of Cavalla who held a military command in Egypt. In the troubles which succeeded the French occupation of that country, at the beginning of the century, he succeeded in making himself head of the popular party in Cairo, ousted the Turkish Governor, and established himself in his place. He was recognised by the Porte in 1805, and the Khediviate was subsequently made hereditary in his family. At this time the Mamluks (or descendants of the Turkish Guard instituted by the Sultans of Egypt in the 13th century) occupied a position somewhat similar to that of the Janissaries at Constantinople. Mehemet Ali, like Sultan Mahmoud, felt that this military imperium in imperio rendered fixed Government impossible, and determined to consolidate his own rule by breaking the power of the Mamluks. He did so by inviting their leaders to a banquet, at which they were surprised and massacred. The Sultan, in return for his recognition of Mehemet Ali as ruler of Egypt, made use of him during some years to keep in order various rebellious provinces of the Empire. He was first ordered to quell the Wahabi insurrection in Arabia, and his campaign there is alluded to in chap. xviii. These people were a sort of Mohammedan Puritans [xvi]

● Eastern Travel, from a drawing by A.W. Kinglake who had made themselves masters To have made this prediction at a Salisbury once said, they have put of the Holy Cities of Mecca and time when India was still under the their money on the wrong horse. In Medina. Company, when we had no interests the Eastern Derby there are no winMehemetAli sent against them his in North-East Africa or the Red Sea, ning horses. son Tosun, who captured Mecca in before the Suez Canal was a serious One after another they have all 1813, but died, and was replaced by project, perhaps before we had oc- disappointed their backers; the faults his younger brother Ibrahim Pasha, cupied Aden, [xvii] is indeed an ex- of Eastern Christendom brought who is often mentioned in Eothen. ample of no ordinary political fore- about and still keep up the rule of the He finally concluded the Wahabi sight. Turk, and few who have an adwar in 1818, and is next heard of Such was the political condition equate knowledge of the facts of the fighting against Greece, which was of the lands which Kinglake visited, case believe either that the Chrisbeginning the struggle for indepen- and of many aspects of which he tians are happy under that rule or dence. that they furnish in themselves the gives a most living picture. Mehemet Ali was again called In his diverting preface he dis- elements of anything much better. upon to assist the Sultan in suppress- claims all intention of being instrucYet this dreary tragedy—this daily ing rebellion, and again sent his son tive, of describing manners and cus- round of oppression and misgovernto represent him. toms, still less of discussing political ment, varied by outbursts of interraIbrahim captured Missolonghi in and social questions. cial fury—has a brighter side. 1825, but was defeated in 1827 by To the mere spectator, to the inPerhaps his narrative sometimes the united fleets at Navarino, under reminds the reader of his statement telligent traveller with literary taste Sir Edward Codrington, and retired (chap. viii.) that a story may be false and a sense of humour, the surface from Greece. as a mere fact but perfectly true as of Levantine life is a stream of perIn return for these services an illustration. petual amusement, often broadenMehemet Ali claimed that the Some great writers impart dura- ing into comedy, and sometimes Pashalik of Syria should be added bility to their work by selecting from bursting all bounds and breaking into to his dominions. a mass of details such traits as are a screaming farce. The Sultan refused the request important and characteristic, and The number and variety of races of his powerful vassal; but the latter passing lightly over what is transi- and languages afford infinite possipicked a quarrel with the Turkish tory. bilities of misunderstanding and misgovernor of Syria, and sent Ibrahim For instance, the main impression translation (which it must be admitto invade the province. left by Thackeray’s novels is not that ted are the basis of many good stoIbrahim not only made a trium- the life there described is old-fash- ries); the Orientalised European and phal entry into Damascus, but de- ioned, but that it is in essentials the the Europeanised Oriental are alike feated the Turkish Army at Beilan life of to-day. inexpressibly droll. and advanced into Asia Minor, Their very crimes have an eleSo, too, in Eothen a reader acwhere he routed a second force, sent quainted with the East hardly notices ment of the burlesque, which seems against him by the Sultan, near anachronisms. to disarm censure and remove the Konia, in December 1832. Judged as a description of the Le- whole transaction to a non-moral The defeated Turkish troops vant of 1898, it is inaccurate, or rather sphere where ordinary rules of right joined the Egyptians, Ibrahim ad- inadequate, almost exclusively on and wrong do not apply. vanced victoriously to Broussa, and account of its omissions. The Turk, if not precisely witty had Constantinople at his mercy. But the principal descriptions, in- himself, is at least the cause of wit in The Sultan in his extremity called cidents, and portraits—the Moham- others. the Russians to his assistance. Extreme Asiatic dignity amidst lumedan quarter at Belgrade, the conThe Treaty of Unkiar Iskelesi versation between the Pasha and the dicrously undignified European surwas concluded in 1833; Ibrahim Dragoman, the meeting of the two roundings, a mixture of pomp and was obliged to retire, but the Englishmen in the desert, Dimitri homeliness, power and childishness, Pashaliks of Syria and Adana were and Mysseri—are, if considered as give rise to humorous anecdotes of given to Mehemet Ali, and treated types, as true to nature to-day as they a peculiar and very characteristic with great rigour, as mentioned in were 60 years ago, and doubtless will flavour, examples of which may be chap. xv. found in several works besides be 60 years hence. At the time of Kinglake’s visit to Kinglake treats the Levant in the Eothen, notably Robert Curzon’s Egypt the plague seems to have been only way it ought to be treated if it is Monasteries of the Levant. the one absorbing preoccupation of to be enjoyed—half-seriously. Another excellent illustration is everyone in Cairo, and we learn little Those whom business or philan- supplied by Vazoff’s Under the Yoke, from him of the normal state of the thropy p. xixoblige to devote to it any a translation of which has been pubcountry at this period. real exertion, sentiment, or interest, lished in English. The most remarkable of his lay up for themselves nothing but disIt is an historical novel, written Egyptian sayings is the prophecy at illusion and disappointment, for, by a Bulgarian burning with indigthe end of the chapter called The whether they are fascinated by the nation against the Ottoman rule. Sphinx. Yet the Turkish Caimmakam, as picturesque and manly virtues of the “The Englishman leaning far Moslems, or roused to honourable drawn by a bitter enemy, is no bloody over to hold his loved India will plant indignation by the slaughter and op- tyrant, but an exquisitely diverting old a firm foot on the banks of the Nile pression of their fellow-Christians, gentleman whose every appearance and sit in the seats of the faithful.” they will find in the end that, as Lord is hailed by the reader with impa-

tient delight. As the violence of the Turk, so also the dishonesty and corruption of the Rayah seem to lose their enormity when viewed in this gentle, humorous light. The swindling is so palpable, and yet so gravely decorous in its external forms, that it ceases to shock; it is so universal that in the end no one seems to have suffered much wrong. To vary the celebrated remark about the Scilly Islanders, one may say that these people gain a precarious livelihood by taking bribes from one another. Again the elaborate and ceremonious phraseology essential to all literary composition in the East enables a writer to make intrinsically preposterous assertions with a gravity which renders criticism impossible. What reply can be given to the officials who assert that Armenians commit suicide in order to throw suspicion on certain excellent Kurds residing in their neighbourhood? or who when called upon to explain why they have incarcerated a foreign traveller under circumstances of extreme indignity, blandly reply that “the said gentleman was indeed hospitably entertained in the Government buildings”? This last instance shows that Oriental travelling must not be undertaken without due precautions. A certain retinue, and sufficient influence to secure the courtesy of the authorities (which Kinglake evidently had), are essential. With them the traveller acquires a feeling, often manifest in Eothen, that he is a sultan possessed of absolute authority over his surroundings. There is just enough hardship to make comparative comfort seem luxury, just enough danger to make it pleasant, when all is over, to hear from what perils one has escaped. Should, however, any reader be inclined to use Eothen as a practical manual, he must be cautious in following some of its precepts. Kinglake constantly insists that intimidation, haughtiness, and defiance of all regulations are the only means of impressing Orientals; and chronicles with great satisfaction his own exploits in this line, concluding with “the Surprise of Satalieh.” What he says is true enough as long as the Oriental believes that the traveller is a prince in his own country, and that any interference with his mad whims will bring severe punishment. But unfortunately the secret is out. Enlightened officials are well aware that many Englishmen are not cousins of the Queen, and have a shrewd suspicion that hindrances placed in the way of the prying European are not displeasing to the Imperial Government. The “Lord of London,” who 50 years ago obtained a firman which made every provincial official bow before him, may now be kept waiting days or weeks for a travelling passport; and, unless he uses tact as well as bumptiousness, may find himself in a position to write to the Times about the interior of Turkish provincial prisons, and become the subject of a Blue Book. Still even now, if travellers will be cautious and polite in dealing with people of whose language and customs they are profoundly ignorant, and not bluster unless they know very well what they are about (for I admit that bluster has its uses), they will find travelling more interesting, diverting, and enjoyable in the Levant than in any other part of the world. ● To Be Continued

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Observer Magazine

■ When I was a lad my tastes were mainly for the popular music of the day or rock and roll. I would never have believed that as I grew older I would become a fan of Gracie Fields. Gracie Fields belonged to the generations before me but now I appreciate her singing and have recently watched her old films. I am sure that many of our readers would be fans of Gracie Fields. Grace Stansfield was born in Lancashire in 1898 and made her professional stage debut at the age of 12 in a stage show. Her younger sisters were Betty and Edith. She married her manager Archie Pitt in 1923. The theatre audiences loved Gracie. In 1928 she recorded Because I Love You for HMV and that was the start of a recording career that would continue throughout her lifetime. Gracie's first film in 1931 was Sally in Our Alley where she sang her hit song Sally. The film was a huge box office success. She made four films for the Twentieth Century Fox studios but they were all filmed in England. The film Ship Yard Sally which featured her most popular song Wish Me Luck As You Wave Me Goodbye was directed by her second husband Monty Banks. By 1937 Gracie was the highest paid film star in the world. Gracie's other films included Looking on the Bright Side, Sing as We Go, This Week of Grace and Keep Smiling. Her films are available for purchase on the

Whatever Happened To ... Gracie Fields

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM

internet. Other hit songs included The Biggest Aspidistra in the World, I Took My Harp to a Party, Now is the Hour, Christopher Robin is Saying His Prayers and When I Grow Too Old to Dream. She spent part of the Second World War in America and went on many tours entertaining the troops in Britain, France, the Middle East and Canada. In 1945 she toured Australia with popular Melbourne singer Peggy Shea. When Monty Banks died in 1950 Gracie married Boris Alperovici and they lived all their married life on the Isle of Capri in Italy. She took part in television programs after the war and in 1956 played Miss Marple in an adaption of Agatha Christie's A Murder is An-

● Gracie Fields

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nounced. Gracie sang in 10 Royal Variety Concerts - her last was at the age of 80, when as a surprise guest, she walked onstage and sang Sally. My friend, the late Tony Osborne, was musical director for Gracie's last hit song in 1957, Around the World. Tony told me that he had to go into the recording booth and tell Gracie that he could hear the sound of her false teeth clicking in his headphones as she sang. "No worries love," Gracie responded and took her teeth out to continue the recording, singing beautifully. Her last Australian tour was in 1965 when Gracie performed at the Palais Theatre, in St Kilda. In 1977 Gracie attended Bing Crosby's concert in Brighton and posed with him for the last photograph ever taken of Bing, he died two days later. Gracie Fields was made a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire just days before she passed away on the Isle of Capri in 1979. I was thrilled to see Gracie's home on a visit to Capri in 1995. Kevin Trask Kevin can be heard on 3AW The Time Tunnel - on Remember When Sundays at 9.10pm With Philip Brady and Simon Owens. And on 96.5 FM That's Entertainment - Sundays at 12 Noon

Paris pub’s pampered pooches OK. With John O’Keefe Danger money at 3AW

● Darren James ■ Word amongst the radio industry in Melbourne is announcers need to ask for Danger Money to work at 3AW. First of all, there was the faulty microwave incident , per courtesy of midnight to dawn announcer Tony Mo clair, when the station microwave burst into smoke and flames. Just recently Darren James spent 45 minutes locked in a malfunctioning lift when he was meant to be on air. Take a Bertocchi ham, Darren.

Memories of the drive-in

■ Remember the good times at the Village Roadshow Coburg? The owners are putting the drive-in on the block with a proviso of a lease back for 10 years. Stump up $11 million and it’s yours, all 8.2 hectares. Sale includes the iconic yellow Holden positioned atop of the ticket box.

Operation: Rainfall

● Exterior of the La Reserve Paris Hotel and Spa … the entire five-storey building was once the private mansion of just one family, that of fashion guru, Pierre Cardin. ■ A travel writing colleague who fashionable eighth arrondissement likes to boast of having seen every(neighbourhood,) and where 2018’s thing he reckons has been worthwhile prices start from a mind-blowing seeing in forty years of jotting his way E1400 per room or suite a night around the world, has ‘fessed up that (AU$2,260.) on a recent trip to Paris he found a Those pooches, our colleague pub that finally made him stop and found, are offered Evian water in specatch breath before putting pen to notecially-designed bowls if the tap stuff’s pad. not good enough for them, and lounge For while he may have said pub, back on pillows while their owners he was in fact referring to a hotel and discuss with the hotel’s Pets Butlers, spa that last year was voted in the menus for their canine’s gourmand Condé Nast Traveller magazine’s 30th stays. Annual Readers’ Choice Awards, the Menus, for instance, that for E36 Number 1 Hotel in the World. per dish (AU$58) can include a choice Which is not a bad effort considerof chef-cooked boneless chicken ing some 300,000 of the magazine’s breast with steamed brown rice, varireaders voted on 7320 hotels and reous other prime beef or lamb selecsorts, ultimately giving their Number tions with spinach and rice, ham in 1 ranking to Paris’s La Reserve Hotel pasta, or fish with carrots and spinand Spa. ach. And whilst those who have stayed Which reminds us we must menwith David Ellis there would obviously agree, it was tion these tonight to our own pooch for a totally different reason that our pandered to today in the 40 bedrooms/ when she gets her bone from the suites of this mansion that was once chuckaway bin at our family’s colleague stopped to take note. For he was blown away with how owned by just one family, that of fash- butcher. the four-legged pooches of patrons are ion guru Pierre Cardin in the city’s

Struth

■ In the current blockbuster movie Crazy Rich Asians actor Ken Jeong is a standout performer. News comes across our desk that Ken is on his way to Australia to perform in a sci-fi film Occupation: Rainfall. Apart from Jeong ,the rest of the cast is made up of a bevy of well-known local and overseas talent. Jeong is a man of many talents as he has an action packed-2019 lined up withgigs including judging a celebrity singing competition on TV, and another, left of centre booking as a stand-up competition. Is there anything this man can’t do ?

Legend retires ... well, sort of

■ Triple M Program Director Lee Simon has bowed out after a lifetime on radio. In his 47 years on radio Lee has excelled at all levels – first as a DJ on 3XY, then as a founding director at EON FM, celeb interviews through to calling AFLfooty. An all round top bloke who has been a mentor to many of today’s star performers. Soon he’ll be off on a overseas holiday, then to adding his creativity to Classic Rock radio.

Mick invests in brewery

■ The past couple of years have been very kind to comedian Mike Malloy. His radio program with Jane Kennedy on Triple M is rating well. Then there’s the Front Bar on Seven that has put the nails in the coffin to Nine and The Footy Show. Mick must be making a fortune. He has just become a major investor in a new boutique brewery called Brick Lane Brewing. Along with seven other heavy hitters in the business world Mick sits on the brewery board, provided product samples are freely available. It’s not unusual for comedians to invest in booze. In the UK funny man Graham Norton owns a vineyard with international sales. - John O’Keefe

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 17

Antiques and Collectables

JACK’S ANTIQUES Open 7 Days

After 30 years of trading in Sandringham we have moved to a new showroom, jam packed with interesting quality items, and constantly changing items including lots of antiques and modern furniture, bronze, clocks, vases, displays, French, leadlight, lots of colourful art, etc. We always buy anything of quality. 368 Reserve Rd, Cheltenham Ring Jack on 9583 7099, 0419 303 861

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Places To Go

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 21

Santorini on Mudjimba Beachfront accommodation on the Sunshine Coast 4 STAR ACCOMMODATION IN MUDJIMBA, SUNSHINE COAST, QUEENSLAND This four star resort offers you the opportunity to get away from it all. You can do as much or as little as your heart desires. Come and experience Mudjimba, the way the beach used to be. Just 5 minutes from Sunshine Coast Airport, Santorini Resort on Mudjimba Beach is a favourite for families, sporting groups and romantic escapes. The Mudjimba surf patrolled beach is on your doorstep and the parkland opposite comes complete with barbecues, shaded picnic areas and children’s playground. The beach captures the very essence of what makes the Sunshine Coast so special; with golden sands stretching as far as the eye can see. In keeping with its prime beachside location, Santorini on Mudjimba will meet all your expectations for a holi-

This Month’s Sale Item is a ready-to-hang Limited Edition Art Print of Melbourne in 1882. This is a stunning Melbourne aerial view showing the historical development of the 1880's era. It is a beautiful reminder of our wonderful past and development.

day to remember. The apartments are spacious and well appointed. Santorini’s onsite facilities include a resort style swimming pool, half court tennis and a large BBQ & entertainment area. The resort is a non-smoking facility. Come and experience this unique and convenient location on the Sunshine Coast’s pristine coastline. Mention this advert or visit our website for special direct booking discounts. www.santorinitw.com

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Homemaker

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 23

Best Places

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Port Melbourne

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 25

M & A McCormack FUNERALS Also trading as Bamfords F.S. Murrindindi 1800 080 909 Family owned and operated

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Eddy’s Towing and Transport

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 29

Observer Classic Books

Mrs Lirriper’s Lodgings - by Charles Dickens “Well I hardly know,” I says to the Major. “It depends upon circumstances. Would YOU object Sir for instance?” “I?” says the Major. “Object? Jemmy Jackman? Mrs. Lirriper close with the proposal.” So I went up-stairs and accepted, and they came in next day which was Saturday and the Major was so good as to draw up a Memorandum of an agreement in a beautiful round hand and expressions that sounded to me equally legal and military, and Mr. Edson signed it on the Monday morning and the Major called upon Mr. Edson on the Tuesday and Mr. Edson called upon the Major on the Wednesday and the Second and the parlours were as friendly as could be wished. The three months paid for had run out and we had got without any fresh overtures as to payment into May my dear, when there came an obligation upon Mr. Edson to go a business expedition right across the Isle of Man, which fell quite unexpected upon that pretty little thing and is not a place that according to my views is particularly in the way to anywhere at any time but that may be a matter of opinion. So short a notice was it that he was to go next day, and dreadfully she cried poor pretty, and I am sure I cried too when I saw her on the cold pavement in the sharp east wind — it being a very backward spring that year — taking a last leave of him with her pretty bright hair blowing this way and that and her arms clinging round his neck and him saying “There there there. Now let me go Peggy.” And by that time it was plain that what the Major had been so accommodating as to say he would not object to happening in the house, would happen in it, and I told her as much when he was gone while I comforted her with my arm up the staircase, for I says “You will soon have others to keep up for my pretty and you must think of that.” His letter never came when it ought to have come and what she went through morning after morning when the postman brought none for her the very postman himself compassionated when she ran down to the door, and yet we cannot wonder at its being calculated to blunt the feelings to have all the trouble of other people’s letters and none of the pleasure and doing it oftener in the mud and mizzle than not and at a rate of wages more resembling Little Britain than Great. But at last one morning when she was too poorly to come running down-stairs he says to me with a pleased look in his face that made me next to love the man in his uniform coat though he was dripping wet “I have taken you first in the street this morning Mrs. Lirriper, for here’s the one for Mrs. Edson.” I went up to her bedroom with it as fast as ever I could go, and she sat up in bed when she saw it and kissed it and tore it open and then a blank stare came upon her. “It’s very short!” she says lifting her large eyes to my face. “O Mrs. Lirriper it’s very short!” I says “My dear Mrs. Edson no doubt that’s because your husband hadn’t time to write more just at that time.” “No doubt, no doubt,” says she, and puts her two hands on her face and turns round in her bed. I shut her softly in and I crept down-stairs and I tapped at the Major’s door, and when the Major having his thin slices of bacon in his own Dutch oven saw me he came out of his chair and put me down on the sofa. “Hush!” says he, “I see something’s the matter. Don’t speak — take time.” I says “O Major I’m afraid there’s cruel work up-stairs.” “Yes yes” says he “I had begun to be afraid of it — take time.” And then in opposition to his own words he rages out frightfully, and says “I shall never forgive myself Madam, that I, Jemmy Jackman, didn’t see it all that morning — didn’t go straight up-stairs when my boot-sponge was in my hand — didn’t force it down his throat — and choke him dead with it on the spot!” The Major and me agreed when we came to ourselves that just at present we could do no more than take on to suspect nothing and use our best endeavours to keep that poor young creature quiet, and what I ever should have done without the Major when it got about among the organ-men that quiet was our object is unknown, for he made lion and tiger war upon them to that degree that without seeing it I could not have believed it was in any gentleman to have such a

such a time without seeing the dull June evening when that forlorn young creature sat at her open corner window on the second and me at my open corner window (the other corner) on the third. Something merciful, something wiser and better far than my own self, had moved me while it was yet light to sit in my bonnet and shawl, and as the shadows fell and the tide rose I could sometimes — when I put out my head and looked at her window below — see that she leaned out a little looking down the street. It was just settling dark when I saw HER in the street. So fearful of losing sight of her that it almost stops my breath while I tell it, I went downstairs faster than I ever moved in all my life and only tapped with my hand at the Major’s door in passing it and slipping out. She was gone already. I made the same speed down the street and when I came to the corner of Howard Street I saw that she had turned it and was there plain before me going towards the west. O with what a thankful heart I saw her going along! She was quite unacquainted with London and had very seldom been out for more than an airing in our own street where she knew two or three little children belonging to neighbours and had sometimes stood among them at the street looking at the water. She must be going at hazard I knew, still she kept the by-streets quite correctly as long as they would serve her, and then turned up into the Strand. But at every corner I could see her head turned one way, and that way was always the river way. It may have been only the darkness and quiet of the Adelphi that caused her to strike into it but she struck into it much as readily as if she had set out to go there, which perhaps was the case. She went straight down to the Terrace and along it and looked over the iron rail, and I often woke afterwards in my own bed with the horror of seeing her do it. The desertion of the wharf below and the flowing of the high water there seemed to settle her purpose. She looked about as if to make out the way down, and she struck out the right way or the wrong way — I don’t know which, for I don’t know the place before or since — and I followed her the way she went. It was noticeable that all this time she never once looked back. But there was now a great change in the manner of her going, and instead of going at a steady quick walk with her arms folded before her — among the dark dismal arches she went in a wild way with her arms Charles Dickens opened wide, as if they were wings and she was power of bursting out with fire-irons walking- the second floor. A terrible loud scream sounded flying to her death. sticks water-jugs coals potatoes off his table through the house the minute after she had We were on the wharf and she stopped. I stopped. the very hat off his head, and at the same time opened it, and I found her on the floor lying as if I saw her hands at her bonnet-strings, and I so furious in foreign languages that they would her life was gone. My dear I never looked at the rushed between her and the brink and took her stand with their handles half-turned fixed like face of the letter which was lying, open by her, round the waist with both my arms. She might the Sleeping Ugly — for I cannot say Beauty. for there was no occasion. have drowned me, I felt then, but she could never Ever to see the postman come near the house Everything I needed to bring her round the Ma- have got quit of me. now gave me such I fear that it was a reprieve jor brought up with his own hands, besides run- Down to that moment my mind had been all in a when he went by, but in about another ten days ning out to the chemist’s for what was not in the maze and not half an idea had I had in it what I or a fortnight he says again, “Here’s one for house and likewise having the fiercest of all his should say to her, but the instant I touched her it Mrs. Edson. — Is she pretty well?” “She is many skirmishes with a musical instrument rep- came to me like magic and I had my natural pretty well postman, but not well enough to rise resenting a ball-room I do not know in what par- voice and my senses and even almost my breath. so early as she used” which was so far gospel- ticular country and company waltzing in and out “Mrs. Edson!” I says “My dear! Take care. How truth. at folding-doors with rolling eyes. When after a ever did you lose your way and stumble on a I carried the letter in to the Major at his break- long time I saw her coming to, I slipped on the dangerous place like this? Why you must have fast and I says tottering “Major I have not the landing till I heard her cry, and then I went in come here by the most perplexing streets in all courage to take it up to her.” and says cheerily “Mrs. Edson you’re not well London. No wonder you are lost, I’m sure. And “It’s an ill-looking villain of a letter,” says the my dear and it’s not to be wondered at,” as if I this place too! Why I thought nobody ever got Major. had not been in before. Whether she believed or here, except me to order my coals and the Ma“I have not the courage Major” I says again in disbelieved I cannot say and it would signify jor in the parlours to smoke his cigar!”— for I a tremble “to take it up to her.” nothing if I could, but I stayed by her for hours saw that blessed man close by, pretending to it. After seeming lost in consideration for some and then she God ever blesses me! and says she “Hah — Hah — Hum!” coughs the Major. moments the Major says, raising his head as if will try to rest for her head is bad. “And good gracious me” I says,” why here he something new and useful had occurred to his “Major,” I whispers, looking in at the parlours, is!” mind “Mrs. Lirriper, I shall never forgive my- “I beg and pray of you don’t go out.” “Halloa! who goes there?” says the Major in a self that I, Jemmy Jackman, didn’t go straight The Major whispers, “Madam, trust me I will military manner. up-stairs that morning when my boot- sponge do no such a thing. How is she?” “Well!” I says, “if this don’t beat everything! was in my hand — and force it down his throat I says “Major the good Lord above us only knows Don’t you know us Major Jackman?” — and choke him dead with it.” what burns and rages in her poor mind. I left her “Halloa!” says the Major. “Who calls on Jemmy “Major” I says a little hasty “you didn’t do it sitting at her window. I am going to sit at mine.” Jackman?” (and more out of breath he was, and which is a blessing, for it would have done no It came on afternoon and it came on evening. did it less like life than I should have expected.) good and I think your sponge was better em- Norfolk is a delightful street to lodge in — pro- “Why here’s Mrs. Edson Major” I says, “strollployed on your own honourable boots.” vided you don’t go lower down — but of a sum- ing out to cool her poor head which has been So we got to be rational, and planned that I should mer evening when the dust and waste paper lie very bad, has missed her way and got lost, and tap at her bedroom door and lay the letter on the in it and stray children play in it and a kind of a Goodness knows where she might have got to mat outside and wait on the upper landing for gritty calm and bake settles on it and a peal of but for me coming here to drop an order into my what might happen, and never was gunpowder church-bells is practising in the neighbourhood coal merchant’s letter-box and you coming here cannon- balls or shells or rockets more dreaded it is a trifle dull, and never have I seen it since at to smoke your cigar! — And you really are not than that dreadful letter was by me as I took it to such a time and never shall I see it evermore at Continued on Page 30

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Observer Classic Books From Page 29 well enough my dear” I says to her “to be half so far from home without me. And your arm will be very acceptable I am sure Major” I says to him “and I know she may lean upon it as heavy as she likes.” And now we had both got her — thanks be Above! — one on each side. She was all in a cold shiver and she so continued till I laid her on her own bed, and up to the early morning she held me by the hand and moaned and moaned “O wicked, wicked, wicked!” But when at last I made believe to droop my head and be overpowered with a dead sleep, I heard that poor young creature give such touching and such humble thanks for being preserved from taking her own life in her madness that I thought I should have cried my eyes out on the counterpane and I knew she was safe. Being well enough to do and able to afford it, me and the Major laid our little plans next day while she was asleep worn out, and so I says to her as soon as I could do it nicely: “Mrs. Edson my dear, when Mr. Edson paid me the rent for these farther six months —” She gave a start and I felt her large eyes look at me, but I went on with it and with my needlework. “— I can’t say that I am quite sure I dated the receipt right. Could you let me look at it?” She laid her frozen cold hand upon mine and she looked through me when I was forced to look up from my needlework, but I had taken the precaution of having on my spectacles. “I have no receipt” says she. “Ah! Then he has got it” I says in a careless way. “It’s of no great consequence. A receipt’s a receipt.” From that time she always had hold of my hand when I could spare it which was generally only when I read to her, for of course she and me had our bits of needlework to plod at and neither of us was very handy at those little things, though I am still rather proud of my share in them too considering. And though she took to all I read to her, I used to fancy that next to what was taught upon the Mount she took most of all to His gentle compassion for us poor women and to His young life and to how His mother was proud of Him and treasured His sayings in her heart. She had a grateful look in her eyes that never never never will be out of mine until they are closed in my last sleep, and when I chanced to look at her without thinking of it I would always meet that look, and she would often offer me her trembling lip to kiss, much more like a little affectionate half broken-hearted child than ever I can imagine any grown person. One time the trembling of this poor lip was so strong and her tears ran down so fast that I thought she was going to tell me all her woe, so I takes her two hands in mine and I says: “No my dear not now, you had best not try to do it now. Wait for better times when you have got over this and are strong, and then you shall tell me whatever you will. Shall it be agreed?” With our hands still joined she nodded her head many times, and she lifted my hands and put them to her lips and to her bosom. “Only one word now my dear” I says. “Is there any one?” She looked inquiringly “Any one?” “That I can go to?” She shook her head. “No one that I can bring?” She shook her head. “No one is wanted by ME my dear. Now that may be considered past and gone.” Not much more than a week afterwards — for this was far on in the time of our being so together — I was bending over at her bedside with my ear down to her lips, by turns listening for her breath and looking for a sign of life in her face. At last it came in a solemn way — not in a flash but like a kind of pale faint light brought very slow to the face. She said something to me that had no sound in it, but I saw she asked me: “Is this death?” And I says: “Poor dear poor dear, I think it is.” Knowing somehow that she wanted me to move her weak right hand, I took it and laid it on her breast and then folded her other hand upon it, and she prayed a good good prayer and I joined in it poor me though there were no words spoke. Then I brought the baby in its wrappers from where it lay, and I says: “My dear this is sent to a childless old woman. This is for me to take care of.” The trembling lip was put up towards my face for the last time, and I dearly kissed it.

“Yes my dear,” I says. “Please God! Me and the Major.” I don’t know how to tell it right, but I saw her soul brighten and leap up, and get free and fly away in the grateful look. *** So this is the why and wherefore of its coming to pass my dear that we called him Jemmy, being after the Major his own godfather with Lirriper for a surname being after myself, and never was a dear child such a brightening thing in a Lodgings or such a playmate to his grandmother as Jemmy to this house and me, and always good and minding what he was told (upon the whole) and soothing for the temper and making everything pleasanter except when he grew old enough to drop his cap down Wozenham’s Airy and they wouldn’t hand it up to him, and being worked into a state I put on my best bonnet and gloves and parasol with the child in my hand and I says “Miss Wozenham I little thought ever to have entered your house but unless my grandson’s cap is instantly restored, the laws of this country regulating the property of the Subject shall at length decide betwixt yourself and me, cost what it may.” With a sneer upon her face which did strike me I must say as being expressive of two keys but it may have been a mistake and if there is any doubt let Miss Wozenham have the full benefit of it as is but right, she rang the bell and she says “Jane, is there a street-child’s old cap down our Airy?” I says “Miss Wozenham before your housemaid answers that question you must allow me to inform you to your face that my grandson is NOT a street-child and is NOT in the habit of wearing old caps. In fact” I says “Miss Wozenham I am far from sure that my grandson’s cap may not be newer than your own” which was perfectly savage in me, her lace being the commonest machine-make washed and torn besides, but I had been put into a state to begin with fomented by impertinence. Miss Wozenham says red in the face “Jane you heard my question, is there any child’s cap down our Airy?” “Yes Ma’am” says Jane, “I think I did see some such rubbish a-lying there.” “Then” says Miss Wozenham “let these visitors out, and then throw up that worthless article out of my premises.” But here the child who had been staring at Miss Wozenham with all his eyes and more, frowns down his little eyebrows purses up his little mouth puts his chubby legs far apart turns his little dimpled fists round and round slowly over one another like a little coffee-mill, and says to her “Oo impdent to mi Gran, me tut oor hi!” “O!” says Miss Wozenham looking down scornfully at the Mite “this is not a street-child is it not! Really!” I bursts out laughing and I says “Miss Wozenham if this ain’t a pretty sight to you I don’t envy your feelings and I wish you goodday. Jemmy come along with Gran.” And I was still in the best of humours though his cap came flying up into the street as if it had been just turned on out of the water-plug, and I went home laughing all the way, all owing to that dear boy. The miles and miles that me and the Major have travelled with Jemmy in the dusk between the lights are not to be calculated, Jemmy driving on the coach-box which is the Major’s brassbound writing desk on the table, me inside in the easy-chair and the Major Guard up behind with a brown-paper horn doing it really wonderful. I do assure you my dear that sometimes when I have taken a few winks in my place inside the coach and have come half awake by the flashing light of the fire and have heard that precious pet driving and the Major blowing up behind to have the change of horses ready when we got to the Inn, I have half believed we were on the old North Road that my poor Lirriper knew so well. Then to see that child and the Major both wrapped up getting down to warm their feet and going stamping about and having glasses of ale out of the paper matchboxes on the chimneypiece is to see the Major enjoying it fully as much as the child I am very sure, and it’s equal to any play when Coachee opens the coachdoor to look in at me inside and say “Wery ‘past that ’tage. —‘Prightened old lady?” But what my inexpressible feelings were when we lost that child can only be compared to the Major’s which were not a shade better, through his straying out at five years old and eleven o’clock in the forenoon and never heard of by word or sign or deed till half-past nine at night, when the Major had gone to the Editor of the Times newspaper to put in an advertisement, which came out next day four- and-twenty hours after he was found, and which I mean always

carefully to keep in my lavender drawer as the first printed account of him. The more the day got on, the more I got distracted and the Major too and both of us made worse by the composed ways of the police though very civil and obliging and what I must call their obstinacy in not entertaining the idea that he was stolen. “We mostly find Mum” says the sergeant who came round to comfort me, which he didn’t at all and he had been one of the private constables in Caroline’s time to which he referred in his opening words when he said “Don’t give way to uneasiness in your mind Mum, it’ll all come as right as my nose did when I got the same barked by that young woman in your second floor”— says this sergeant “we mostly find Mum as people ain’t over-anxious to have what I may call second-hand children. YOU’LL get him back Mum.” “O but my dear good sir” I says clasping my hands and wringing them and clasping them again “he is such an uncommon child!” “Yes Mum” says the sergeant, “we mostly find that too Mum . The question is what his clothes were worth.” “His clothes” I says “were not worth much sir for he had only got his playing-dress on, but the dear child! —” “All right Mum” says the sergeant. “You’ll get him back Mum. And even if he’d had his best clothes on, it wouldn’t come to worse than his being found wrapped up in a cabbage-leaf, a shivering in a lane.” His words pierced my heart like daggers and daggers, and me and the Major ran in and out like wild things all day long till the Major returning from his interview with the Editor of the Times at night rushes into my little room hysterical and squeezes my hand and wipes his eyes and says “Joy joy — officer in plain clothes came up on the steps as I was letting myself in — compose your feelings — Jemmy’s found.” Consequently I fainted away and when I came to, embraced the legs of the officer in plain clothes who seemed to be taking a kind of a quiet inventory in his mind of the property in my little room with brown whiskers, and I says “Blessings on you sir where is the Darling!” and he says “In Kennington Station House.” I was dropping at his feet Stone at the image of that Innocence in cells with murderers when he adds “He followed the Monkey.” I says deeming it slang language “O sir explain for a loving grandmother what Monkey!” He says “Him in the spangled cap with the strap under the chin, as won’t keep on — him as sweeps the crossings on a round table and don’t want to draw his sabre more than he can help.” Then I understood it all and most thankfully thanked him, and me and the Major and him drove over to Kennington and there we found our boy lying quite comfortable before a blazing fire having sweetly played himself to sleep upon a small accordion nothing like so big as a flat-iron which they had been so kind as to lend him for the purpose and which it appeared had been stopped upon a very young person. My dear the system upon which the Major commenced and as I may say perfected Jemmy’s learning when he was so small that if the dear was on the other side of the table you had to look under it instead of over it to see him with his mother’s own bright hair in beautiful curls, is a thing that ought to be known to the Throne and Lords and Commons and then might obtain some promotion for the Major which he well deserves and would be none the worse for (speaking between friends) L. S. D.-ically. When the Major first undertook his learning he says to me: “I’m going Madam,” he says “to make our child a Calculating Boy. “Major,” I says, “you terrify me and may do the pet a permanent injury you would never forgive yourself.” “Madam,” says the Major, “next to my regret that when I had my boot- sponge in my hand, I didn’t choke that scoundrel with it — on the spot —” “There! For Gracious’ sake,” I interrupts, “let his conscience find him without sponges.” “— I say next to that regret, Madam,” says the Major “would be the regret with which my breast,” which he tapped, “would be surcharged if this fine mind was not early cultivated. But mark me Madam,” says the Major holding up his forefinger “cultivated on a principle that will make it a delight.” “Major” I says “I will be candid with you and tell you openly that if ever I find the dear child fall off in his appetite I shall know it is his calculations and shall put a stop to them at two minutes’ notice. Or if I find them mounting to his

head” I says, “or striking anyways cold to his stomach or leading to anything approaching flabbiness in his legs, the result will be the same, but Major you are a clever man and have seen much and you love the child and are his own godfather, and if you feel a confidence in trying try.” “Spoken Madam” says the Major “like Emma Lirriper. All I have to ask, Madam, is that you will leave my godson and myself to make a week or two’s preparations for surprising you, and that you will give me leave to have up and down any small articles not actually in use that I may require from the kitchen.” “From the kitchen Major?” I says half feeling as if he had a mind to cook the child. “From the kitchen” says the Major, and smiles and swells, and at the same time looks taller. So I passed my word and the Major and the dear boy were shut up together for half an hour at a time through a certain while, and never could I hear anything going on betwixt them but talking and laughing and Jemmy clapping his hands and screaming out numbers, so I says to myself “it has not harmed him yet” nor could I on examining the dear find any signs of it anywhere about him which was likewise a great relief. At last one day Jemmy brings me a card in joke in the Major’s neat writing “The Messrs. Jemmy Jackman” for we had given him the Major’s other name too “request the honour of Mrs. Lirriper’s company at the Jackman Institution in the front parlour this evening at five, military time, to witness a few slight feats of elementary arithmetic.” And if you’ll believe me there in the front parlour at five punctual to the moment was the Major behind the Pembroke table with both leaves up and a lot of things from the kitchen tidily set out on old newspapers spread atop of it, and there was the Mite stood upon a chair with his rosy cheeks flushing and his eyes sparkling clusters of diamonds. “Now Gran” says he, “oo tit down and don’t oo touch ler people”— for he saw with every one of those diamonds of his that I was going to give him a squeeze. “Very well sir” I says “I am obedient in this good company I am sure.” And I sits down in the easy-chair that was put for me, shaking my sides. But picture my admiration when the Major going on almost as quick as if he was conjuring sets out all the articles he names, and says “Three saucepans, an Italian iron, a hand-bell, a toasting-fork, a nutmeg-grater, four potlids, a spice-box, two egg-cups, and a chopping-board — how many?” and when that Mite instantly cries “Tifteen, tut down tive and carry ler ‘toppin-board” and then claps his hands draws up his legs and dances on his chair. My dear with the same astonishing ease and correctness him and the Major added up the tables chairs and sofy, the picters fenders and fire-irons their own selves me and the cat and the eyes in Miss Wozenham’s head, and whenever the sum was done Young Roses and Diamonds claps his hands and draws up his legs and dances on his chair. The pride of the Major! (“HERE’S a mind Ma’am!” he says to me behind his hand.) Then he says aloud, “We now come to the next elementary rule — which is called —” “Umtraction!” cries Jemmy. “Right,” says the Major. “We have here a toasting-fork, a potato in its natural state, two potlids, one egg-cup, a wooden spoon, and two skewers, from which it is necessary for commercial purposes to subtract a sprat-gridiron, a small picklejar, two lemons, one pepper-castor, a blackbeetle-trap, and a knob of the dresserdrawer — what remains?” “Toatin-fork!” cries Jemmy. “In numbers how many?” says the Major. “One!” cries Jemmy. (“HERE’S a boy, Ma’am!” says the Major to me behind his hand.) Then the Major goes on: “We now approach the next elementary rule — which is entitled —” “Tickleication” cries Jemmy. “Correct” says the Major. But my dear to relate to you in detail the way in which they multiplied fourteen sticks of firewood by two bits of ginger and a larding needle, or divided pretty well everything else there was on the table by the heater of the Italian iron and a chamber candlestick, and got a lemon over, would make my head spin round and round and round as it did at the time.

To Be Continued Next Issue

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Quantity Surveyors

Property depreciation services Just Depreciation is always going the extra mile to help all our clients whenever we can. We have decided to answer some of our frequently asked questions to help give you some advice and get a better understanding of our services to save you time and money. If, for any reason, there are still questions you would like to ask us about our property depreciation services then don’t hesitate to call our friendly team who would be only too happy to help. My property is old is it worthwhile getting a report prepared? Yes, all properties regardless of age have some form of depreciation. The fixtures and fittings in the property must be valued at the date that you first make the property available for rental. Just Depreciation recommend reports for all residential properties no matter how old the building may be. I have owned the property for a number of years and not claimed any depreciation, have I missed out? No, we will start your report from the first date of rental and your accountant can apply to the Taxation Office to get previous returns adjusted. It’s never too late to claim any property depreciation. How long does the report last for? Our reports have 10 years of detailed information and enough detail for your accountant to expand on the individual items after this date so you won't have to arrange for a another report unless you carry out major renovations or improvements. Do you guarantee your report will be worthwhile? Yes of course, and we guarantee that if you do not receive a deduction that is twice the amount of our fee in the first year, then the report will be free. We believe this is the fairest and best possible outcome either way for our clients. What is the process? Do I have to make appointments? No, we make the appointments on your behalf via your rental manager and liaise with tenants for a suitable time for the property inspection so you need not worry about a thing. What happens at the inspection? We measure the property, take photos, take note of all depreciable items and any capital building write off deductions that may apply and then return to the office to calculate and process the report.

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 35

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 39

Observer Crossword Solution No 19 AD J US T A B L E DA SHOF F SCRUNCH I NG L A S H R O M O D U P G U SOT U N D E R GO S WOO L T UB A A GRA B B ED L D I G T HUMP D E L DER E R I D T RE A T Y GR I NS S A Y E L GAR US A B L E E K E S E RY E PRONG S P I E S YODE L ROS E F L OU T CAUS T I C S E A L S ADDS E P I OUS Y ARD PUS SCOOP E L AD HYDRAN T S RE V EREN T RAC I S T S Y BU L K DEN T S C L I DO DOER E S ECOND KHA K I C I AO L ADY MEDA L S RA T Y E AH NE T H U ONE RE ADS S GRE Y DERB Y ME L F R A U S K EW NO T A A R RA B B I R EM I T S I F T S AWN M V RECE I V E S SO L I C I T L O A D TWO T I M E I N I L MA L T K E E L SCAM E S S Y TOADS GU L F W RA I D OBOE L I ED T I N J AUN T RA Y S CA B S AGO DAR G SORD I D MA X I I L I E NY L ON R CHA I N S L A B F E E S T A B R I P E OA T H T A X ED EN I D S L AM I M I N T GNUS D R OA K E AR L DHA L P ANG A D O REDE F I NE S E AM AR I S I NG BU L L I ON F L E A S WO E S T E A T S MANE T H U V L I NO D I V A ME AD Y E S E S S ACK UP S L A Y S ROS S DAN N U RAG L E A K S J E T S FORGED P E K I NG DRA I N RODE R S A L E S T E ED T P I E S S I DE L B A B Y T A L K E V ER ONCA L L K I NGDOMS SCONE EDAM AC T ME L E E E E F L AN E P I CS S K I L I F T MA L L S MAMA F U RAM E T HER E L I T E MA I L S MA P DOC TOR S E TON L OS NANNY HOOP L A I L SD L N MA I NS E R E R D H B L UGGAGE L E A F I ER O ED I T CO I N A I L A N OUR A L E I L U S R E GADGE T S S L E E V E L E S S DECRE EN I S I

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Observer Victorian Sport Melbourne

Just another Mattie Monday ■ For the second week in a row, Terang's Mattie Craven chalked up another stable treble - this time the venue was Hamilton on Monday September 24 with first starter Mynameisjeff saluting the judge in the Hamilton Grange Concrete 3Y0 Pace over 1660 metres. Spearing away from gate six to lead before surrendering the to red-hot favourite Go In Style also on debut, Mynameisjeff enjoyed a cosy passage. Using the sprint lane, the gelded son of Rock N Roll Heaven and Nightoffire locally owned, gained a half head decision in a rate of 1-54.5. Foolish Pleasure was third 13.5 metres away after racing in the open. Smart Kiwi bred 4Y0 BetterthancheddarGotta Go Harmony mare My Harmony Blue made a one act affair of the 1660 metre Hamilton Dry Cleaners Pace for C1 class, leading throughout from gate two in smashing the track record to score by 5.6 metres in a rate of 2-02 over a death-seating Jilliby Mako who was brave, with Priddy Catchy (one/two - three wide last lap) third 1.2 metres back. Quality 5Y0 Art Maker-Benelse gelding Wardan Express brought up the treble when successful in the Judith Astbury Memorial Pace for C4 to C6 class over 1660 metres. Beginning with a rush from gate five, Wardan Express couldn't cross the long odds-on favourite Somerocksomeroll (gate three), having to be restrained to three back along the markers. Going forward in the last lap, Wardan Express was able to drop down and trail the leader and with full steam up, finished hard along the sprint lane to prevail by 4.3 metres in advance of Itsallaboutex from mid-field in a slick 1-53.2. The Cullector ran home late from the tail to be third a half head away.

Swift steps

■ Armstrong trainer Tim O'Brien's 5Y0 Lawman-Speedy Naomi gelding Hammers Law overcame a 30 metre equal backmark to land the Great Western Pizza Trotters Handicap for T0 or better class over 2160 metres at Hamilton. Stepping swiftly as the tapes released, driver Mick Bellman wasted no time in sending Hammers Law forward and after doing his fair share of work, crossed to lead racing for the bell. Despite a strong challenge on straightening by Aballofmuscle which had surrendered the lead, Hammer Law fought on courageously to win by 3 metres in a mile rate of 2-02.9. Iron mare Its Not Dark Yet (one/two - three wide last lap) was third 5.2 metres away.

Snared Schweppes

■ At Bendigo on Tuesday, Pyramid Hill partowner-trainer Andrew Grogan snared the Schweppes Pace for C1 class over 2150 metres with 11Y0 The Wrath Of Pan-Fly Home gelding Nuggetpan. Taking a concession for Burrumbeet junior James Herbertson, Nuggetpan after starting inside the second line was able to trail the speedy poleline leader Mio Christisimo and travelled beautifully throughout. Making full use of the sprint lane on turning, Nuggetpan ran home stylishly to score by 1-6 metres in a mile rate of 1-58.5 over the leader, with hot favourire Machs Gold 1.4 metrs back after racing exposed from the bell. It was Nuggetpan's 11th success in 98 outings.

T

■ Classy ex-Kiwi Art Major-So Green 4Y0 gelding The Brooklyn Brawler resumed at Bendigo with an all of the way victory from the pole in the 1650 metre Ranvet Pace for C0 & C1 class. Trained and driven by Kilmore's Phillip Walters, The Brooklyn Brawler a former member of Christchurch trainer Robert Dunn's team hadn't raced since February and after controlling the tempo, ran out a 4.3 metre victor over Blissful Penny which trailed in 1-56.5. Nelbell was third 1.9 metres back after following the pair.

Harness Racing

Surged past leader

Sulky Snippets

■ The other highlight of the evening - the $20,000 (Group 3) McIvor Estate Kilmore Trotters Cup for TM0 or better class over the marathon trip of 3150 metres went the way of Bolinda trainer Brent Lilley's internationally bred ex-Kiwi 8Y0 Love You-Juliana gelding Father Christmas with Greg Sugars in the sulky. Starting from an equal 10 metre back mark, Father Christmas stepped cleanly to settle five back in the running line as Majestic Ess Jay (barrier five) began brilliantly to lead from Kyvalley ■ Wednesday - Terang, Thursday - Echuca, Friday - Ballarat, Saturday - Melton, Sunday Barney on his back. Going forward hitting the back straight with - Cranbourne, Monday - Maryborough, Tuestwo laps to travel, Sugars was content to park in day - Kilmore. the open for the remainder of the journey. Surging past the leader prior to the home turn, Father Christmas held a margin to the wire, scoring easily by 10 metres from the ever reliable ■ Amelia Holmes, Rock Albert, Our Quick Margaret Ruth (five wide home turn) which ran Cash, Jilliby Mako, Artoripace, Dream To home strongly from an impossible position five Share. back the markers at the bell. Kyvalley Barney was a head away in third place. In quarters of 30.6, 33.2, 28.9 and 30.7, Father Christmas returned a mile rate of 2-06.4. ■ Veteran Lancefield trainer Leon Conway combined with Kilmore's Robbie Walters to land the Your Sold Real Estate Pace for C1 class over 1690 metres at Shepparton on Friday with ■ Goulburn Valley (Arcadia) trainer Steven free legged 7Y0 Dawn Ofa New Day-Rumbleon Duffy snared the Momentum Gaming Pace for gelding ForeverAnd A Day. Raced by Leon and M0 class over 2180 metres at Kilmore with very partner Lisa Horton, Forever And A Day was honest 7Y0 Passmaster Hanover-Forever Cute taken back at the start from gate five before gelding Winkanditsover in a rate of 1-59.7. moving to the prime one/one spot with a circuit Trapped wide from gate six, driver Chris to travel as Manonthemoon crossed Harrys Alford pressed forward to cross the leader The Flight leaving Postal Express facing the breeze. Sparrow Hawk in the back straight on the first Despite being under extreme pressure apoccasion and proved too good for his rivals, de- proaching the final bend, Forever And A Day feating the hot favourite Diamonds N Cash rallied to grab Postal Express right on the wire which shadowed him from the bell by 3.2 metres, and score by a half head, with Manonthemoon with Cruz (one/one last lap) third 10.9 metres holding down third 2.2 metre away. The mile rate 2-00.1. away.

This Week

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with Len Baker

Driving double

■ Much travelled reinsman Corey Bell now with Russell Jack in Shepparton, landed a driving double at Bendigo - Rocknroll Noah for Amanda Turnbull in the 2150 metre Gold Central Victoria Claiming Pace and Rockon Angel for Russell Jack in the C2 class Garrards Pace over 1650 metres.

Led throughout

■ Burrumbeet's Mick Stanley snared a stable double at his home track Bray Raceway Ballarat on Wednesday with 4Y0 Shadow Play-Armbro Sharon mare Macey Jade taking the 1710 metre Matt's Cellarbrations Pace for C3 & C4 class and Four Starzzz Shark-Victoria Street colt Vicstar Sharazzz the ID18 @ Ballarat On 4/12 Book Now 3Y0 Pace over 2200 metres. Macey Jade (S1.20) led throughout from gate four to defeat Cest La Classe and Hosier Lane in 1-56.6, as did Vicstar Sharazzz ($23.50) in accounting for Miss What Usain and Kash Us back in 2-01.7.

Kilmore Cup night

■ The Kilmore Cup, once regarded as the pinnacle of provincial cups throughout Australia where champions such as the great Popular Alm was successful on two occasions, plus the likes of Paceface Adios, Welcome Advice, Nevada Smoke, Pure Steel and Koala King to name just a few, was held in a new timeslot last Thursday - one of several since the first in 1964 when programmed on the Monday following Moonee Valley's Cox Plate which attracted thousands of patrons for decades. This resulted in two cups being held this year. Sponsored once again by Jet Roofing, the $70,000 (Group 2) M0 or better class feature over 2690 metres was taken out by Avenel trainer David Aiken's multiple cups victor of last season Im The Boss. In what was a training triumph by Aiken, Im The Boss first up since June showed his usual speed to lead from gate four, with regular reinswoman Kima Frenning being allowed to set the tempo as Craig Demmler sent the favourite My Kiwi Mate forward from mid-field to park outside him in the early stages. In quarters of 31, 30, 27.8 and 30.2 seconds for the final mile, Im The Boss never looked like being beaten, cruising to the wire 2.6 metres in advance of Three Ways off a three wide trail on the back of Bathurst visitor Bettermatch from mid-field for the last lap, with Bad Billy (one/ one) at the bell third 2 metres away after switching down to the sprint lane on turning. The mile rate two minutes even. Raced by the Stokie Racing Group managed by Luke Stokie, Im The Boss a 7Y0 Mach Three-Golden Navajo gelding who was claimed from the "Battle Of The Claimers" at Melton 12 months ago chalked up his 19th victory from 84 outings, returning a mile rate of Kima Frenning was ecstatic following the race, describing the victory as one of her all time highlights and there has been plenty of them during the last year.

Horses to follow Taken back

Shadowed

Melbourne Arts extra ■ Applications now open for Moonee Valley's annualArt and Design Award for students now open and close midnight, Wednesday October 31. Exhibition opening night Friday March 1 . Exhibition: February 26 - March 24. The Incinerator Gallery is calling for years 11 and12 students who live, work or attend school in Moonee Valley to enter Fireworks 2019, the city's annual art and design award and exhibition. Successful candidates will have their works exhibited in the gallery between February6, 2019 and March 4 , with an opening night celebration on March 1. Finalists will also have the chance to win one of five prizes. Fireworks is a fantastic opportunity for younger artists to gain exposure and have their art and design works showcased in a professional gallery space. The works will be judged by a selection panel of highly esteemed arts educators, and prizes include $500 Fireworks Arts Award, $500 Fireworks Design Award and $200 Mayoral Award for Excellence in Art, 4200 Mayoral Award in Design and a People's Choice Award where the inner will receive a $200 art and supplies voucher. Incinerator Gallery 180 Holmes Rd., Moonee Ponds - Peter Kemp

Grau Projekt

■ Matt Bax is opening his new venue in Melbourne on the 22nd of November. His new project is Grau Projekt, a contemporary art space, with lofty ambitions. Matt, an artist/bartender, believes that the commercial art gallery model is pretty much broken, and art is too often pushed to the background of the entertainment queue. Matt Bax sees the Grau Projekt experience is a night out with art; of course, his expertise in cocktails is in the spotlight. Grau Projekt's signature manoeuvre is a con-

cept he has coined 'artist-curated drinking' : every show will be celebrated with a collaborative cocktail. This will be a drink conceived with Matt and his team and the exhibiting artist to enhance the mood and philosophy of their show. The project has been more than four years in the making: matt has been interested in bridging the gap between drinks and art since Der Raumdays. Another ambitious initiative of the program is dedicated to creating new collectors. A small number of works with every show will be offered at a heavily subsidised price. These pictures will be held reserve until the public openings and are expected to be one of the most anticipated activations of the gallery. Gallery opening November 1. Gallery hours Thursdays and Fridays 6 - 11pm. Saturday 3pm 11pm. Sunday 11am - 3pm and by appointment. Grau Projekt Level 1, 2-12 Alexandra Pde., Clifton Hill - Peter Kemp

Nicholas Thompson Gallery Logic - Genevieve Felix Reynolds The tightly-choreographed paintings of Sydney-based Genevieve Felix Reynolds hatch multi-layered dialogues between classicism and contemporaneity; materiality and digitisation. Representational fragments of ancient artefacts are set within non-objective, geometric frame-works, conjuring new complex new conceptualisations of space. Exhibition closes October 14. Nicholas Thompson Gallery 155 Langridge St Collingwood. - Peter Kemp

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 53 e urn lbo Me

Every Week in the Melbourne Observer

ver N ser O Ob TI C SE 3

Observer Showbiz

Theatre: Local shows, auditions ............................ Page 57 Arts: Peter Kemp’s round-up ........................................... Page 54 Country Music: Rob Foenander’s column ................... Page 54 Jim and Aar on: Latest movies, DVDs, lists ........................ P age 56 Aaron: Cheryl Threadgold: Local Theatre Summary ........................... Page 57 PL US THE LLO OVATT”S MEGA CRO PLUS CROSSSWORD

WE CAN WORK IT OUT Bottomless

● Uncle Jack ■ Fortyfive downstairs presents Bottomless by Dan Lee from November 28 – December 14. Written in 2013, Bottomless has been developed by Playwriting Australia, Melbourne Theatre Company and Red Stitch, and was a recipient of the RE Ross Trust Script Development Award in 2014. Following a reading at fortyfivedownstairs in 2015, Artistic Director Mary Lou Jelbart felt Melbourne audiences needed to experience Lee’s powerful work and set her sights on producing the play. Under the direction of multiple award winner Iain Sinclair (Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf at the Ensemble Theatre and A View from the Bridge at Sydney’s Old Fitz), Bottomless will finally have its world premiere. The cast includes Uncle Jack Charles, Mark Coles Smith, Jim Daly, Julie Forsyth, Margaret Harvey, Alex Menglet and Mark Wilson - Bottomless is a tragicomedy inspired by the real places and people that Lee found while pursuing his own sober life nearly ten years ago in Broome. The central character Wil, a once desperate alcoholic, returns to Broome with a radical plan to break the cycle of booze he was once caught up in. Broome Prison sits across the road from the Sober Up Centre, like just another resort in a tourist town, promising a temporary reprieve from the tightening cycle of “black out” drinking. On a chaotic night, as the usual suspects stagger into the stifling heat of the centre, Wil’s unorthodox method is revealed. But he has a much deeper connection to the town and its past than anyone could have imagined, including himself. Capturing the diversity of Broome’s residents and its alcoholics, Bottomless is a shared story for all, and a reminder that no group is out of addictions’ reach. “I wanted to put the audience right at the centre of it,” says Lee. “I wanted them to feel the ‘dis-ease’ in a very visceral way. If people can feel it, then they can have empathy for those stuck in it.” Uncle Jack Charles, who has been attached to the project since its inception, has developed a close relationship with Lee throughout the process. “I have intimate knowledge of his chosen characters and believe Dan is on a winner with this production,” says Charles. “I reckon it’ll be a hoot.” Performance Details: November 28 – December 14 Venue: fortyfivedownstairs, 45 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Bookings and information: www.fortyfivedownstairs. com/wp2016/event/bottomless-by-dan-lee - Cheryl Threadgold

● Karl Sarsfield (Paul), Kashmir Sinnamon (John), Troy Larkin (George) and Brett Wolfenden (Ringo) in We Can Work It Out. ■ The influence of the Beatles cannot be underestimated. They set, interpreted and responded to the zeitgeist of their times and remain a cultural reference point. Gabriel Bergmoser’s play, We Can Work It Out, deliberately utilizes the identities of the ‘fab four’ to explore the purpose of art; to entertain, to create culture, to protest or to simply make The Winsome Collection money. The Winsome Collection is a curated collection of rare Incorporating such well known identities as characters in a and other-worldly hand coloured lantern slides, restored play may well offend fans for each is given a particular arguand transformed into large scale photographic artworks. ment to push. The lantern slide has its origins un 17th century optical John, (Kashmir Sinnamon) advocates protesting, Paul (Karl viewing devices which came to be known as "magic lanSarsfield) wants to entertain, George (Troy Larkin) has a melterns." ancholy outlook and Ringo (Brett Wolfenden) is the most laid The earliest slides for magic lanterns consisted of handback. painted images on glass, projected by itinerant showmen to As such, an element of nuance is denied the character with amuse their audiences. John being the most outspoken and psychologically complex. The rare lantern slides were sent to specialists who Balanced against this examination of artistic identity is the hand-coloured the slides with pigment washes. emerging schism between the band members who begin to bait These images are up to 150 years old and reveal astonisheach other. ing moments from ancient Egypt to the picturesque ScotThey are, after all, simply boys and we see this in the manner tish lochs, all somehow managing a contemporary aesthey verbally and physically deal with each other. They can be thetic through their composition and colouring. childish. Sitting alongside these astonishing large format photos This is where the director, Gregory Caine, had his work cut are early 20th century European oil paintings, serigraph out for him. The confines of the Butterfly Club stage make moveprints and etchings. ment problematic and the staged fisticuffs lack the timing needed Exhibition opened October 6 and closes Sunday Octoto be convincing. ber 28. The premise, overall, is interesting. The Beatles were the Merricks House Art Gallery pinnacle of popular culture but they were ordinary as well which 3460 Frankston Flinders Rd, Merricks challenges the notion of the respect that should be given to those - Peter Kemp that are creators of culture. There is an element of unevenness to the work but there are glimmers of a very intriguing debate about the making of art and those responsible for what becomes an expression of our times. Allen Hicks: Matter & Light – Review by David McLean Allen Hicks discovered drawing while a young boy. He completed a Master of Fine Art at RMIT with a focus on post modernism and is represented in private and public collections in Australia and overseas. Hicks is an intrepid traveller and has been engaged by Parks and National Geographic to lead expeditions into pristine and uncharted Australian environments. Exhibition: October 31 - November 22.

Merricks Gallery

Alliance Français

Country music round-up: Page 54

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Observer Showbiz

Country Music, Radio, Theatre, Almanac Country Crossroads

Waiting On You Melbourne Arts

By Rob Foenander info@countrycrossroads.com.au

Lonnie in Melb. ■ Australian music legend and pioneer Lonnie Lee is heading to Victoria for a number of shows. Saturday October 6. Tabcorp Park Melton. Monday, October 8. Ararat Art Centre Tues. and Wed. Oct. 9-10. Deakin Centre,Federation Sq. Thurs., Oct. 11. Maryborough Vic

October at Guild ■ The Country Music Guild Of Australasia hosts live bands every Friday night at the Pascoe Vale RSL. October line up includes. Friday, October 5. The Excellent Smithers Friday. October 12. Rodger Delfos and The Beatriders Friday, October 19. The Moonlighters. Friday, October 26. The Prairie Oysters

Daniel Downunder ■ Ireland's superstar crooner Daniel O'Donnell will return to Melbourne for two concerts on Sunday-Monday, February 2425. The Arts Centre will once again play host to the country ,gospel and popular music singer who it is said was given his Australian break by the late Keith McGowan on Radio 3AW. - Rob Foenander

● Cat Morvell and music composer Emily Dynes in Waiting On You. Majella Productions present Waiting On You, the original stage play, at the Melbourne Theatre Company’s Lawler Theatre for a four show season from November 1 – 3. This original play by Gabrielle Pearson follows a young woman's move abroad. Georgi must learn to keep up with the unfamiliar hard and fast lifestyle of the underground hospitality industry. She is new to the world of waiting tables and rules and quickly falls for the thrill of the ‘big smoke’ lifestyle. Featuring music composer Emily Dynes performing an original setlist throughout the performance, the audience are lured into the nightmare of modern day 20 something year olds, and are invited to explore the darker corners of their lives unapologetically. Including a cast of up and coming actors and a female dominant production team, the story hones in on relevant themes within the hospitality industry that will hit home to a broad range of young people who are travelling, or away from home, and are adapting to the life style of lower middle class independence, particularly women. Performance Details: November 1 – 3 Venue: Lawler Theatre, 140 Southbank Boulevard, Southbank Bookings and further details: https:// www.waitingonyoustageplay.com

may be a tad macabre but its songs, monologues and everyday observations on life produce plenty of laughs. Perhaps just as much a work about reinventing yourself as it was about mortality, this creative and quirky piece was imagined by the creative directors behind Hearsay Theatre, writer and performer, Glover and co-directors David McNamara and Oliver Cowen. Death is an edgy one-woman cabaret fronted by Glover, backed by musicians, Cowen, Michael Davidson and Kayla Hamill - it evokes laughs, gasps, sadness and awkwardness. Glover is a contradiction - riddled with selfdoubt, but oozing front and confidence, haunted by death and the macabre, but aggressive in life when threatened. Glover’s candour is endearing. Dissatisfied with her performance she re-starts the show at various intervals in a different genre of performance with hilarious effect. The humour is peppered with some stark and confronting commentary about the world we live in and the creatures that inhabit it. Glover is also quite the physical comedian and engages well with the audience. Her musical highlights include the Crack of Doom and I’m not a Killer. Vocally, she has natural ability but would benefit greatly from some formal training. Ultimately, Death and Other Things was a worthwhile and fun Fringe entrant that skilfully applied multiple theatre techniques to create a funny, but also thought-provoking, performance. - Review by Beth Klein

Death and Other Things ■ Eidann Glover has no problem in her opening sequence in Death and Other Things reeling off at least 20 euphemisms for death – quite an achievement. However it’s the ‘other things' in this Fringe Festival offering at the Butterfly Club from the Hearsay Theatre Group that challenge and amuse. Death and Other Things, a musical cabaret,

r Obser vbeiz On This Day Show

Wednesday Thursday October 4 October 3

■ Tennis player Neale Fraser is 85. Gore Vidal, American author, was born in 1925. He died aged 80 in 2012. Australian actress Noeline Brown was born in Sydney in 1938 (80). American singer Chubby Checker is 77.

■ Radio-TV personality Terry Dear was born in 1913. He died aged 81. American actor Charlton Heston was born in 1922. He died aged 84 in 2008. English writer Jackie Collins, who died last week, was born on this day. Actress Susan Sarandon was born in 1946 (72).

● Eidann Glover in Death and Other Things.

With One Voice ■ Anyone can sing – it’s a natural form of therapy that unites people, changes the brain and creates positive human collisions. For the past ten years CreativityAustralia’s With One Voice program has inspired tens of thousands of lives by enabling opportunities for social inclusion that bring a montage of people and communities together through singing in a choir, sharing supper and helping grant peoples wishes. On Sunday,December 2 at the Melbourne Town Hall, over 400 voices will sing together to commemorate the With One Voice ten year milestone at a celebratory concert: With One BIG Voice that will include singing a range of well known favourite songs: You're the Voice, Hallelujah, Imagine, What a Wonderful World, Can You Feel the Love Tonight and Fix You. Currently, every week the With One Voice program transcends borders by supporting 21 choirs across Australia that include people aged 9 to 90 from children to grandparents and from newly arrived migrants to corporate leaders. By 2020 and with up to $10,000 seed funding, Creativity Australia aims to support up to 40 choirs, which will create extremely positive outcomes that contribute to alleviating loneliness, depression and social isolation. Social entrepreneur, soprano and CreativityAustralia founder, Tania de Jong, explains that the With One Voice choirs empower all participants to find and share their voice in many ways – anyone can sing, there are no auditions and everyone is welcome. “We recognise that singing in a group improves wellbeing, inspires personal growth and transforms communities. Our With One Voice choirs create new social connections and extend opportunities for everyone to participate, celebrate diversity and develop social cohesion,” said de Jong. Swinburne University research showed that 98 per cent of With One Voice choir participants experienced less stress, 91 per cent have improved social bonds, 84 per cent made new friends, 71 per cent feel more included and 66 per cent are less depressed. Date and time Sunday, December 2 from 3pm – 5.30pm (including interval) Venue Melbourne Town Hall, 90-130 Swanston Street, Melbourne Tickets $15 – $25 (plus booking fees) Bookings events.humanitix.com.au/wobv Information creativityaustralia.org.au - Cheryl Threadgold Melbourne

Observer

Friday October 5

Saturday October 6

■ Australian actress Anne Haddy was born in 1930. She died aged 68 in 1999. Actress Diane Cilento was born in 1933; died in 2011. Irish singer songwriter Bob Geldof was born in 1951 (67). Wilbur Wilde (Nick Aitken) is 63 (1955).

■ American actress Carole Lombard was born in 1980. She died aged 34 in 1942. The late ricketer Richie Benaud was born on this day. Swedish actress Britt Ekland was born in Sweden in 1942 (76). Cricketer Tony Greig was born on this day.

Sunday October 7 ■ US singer Al Martino was born in 1927. He died aged 82 in 2009. TV presenter and author Clive James was born 79 years ago. American singer John Mellenkamp is 67 (1951). Skating champion Jayne Torvill was born in 1957 (61).

Monday October 8

■ Australian actor Paul Hogan was born in Lightning Ridge in 1939 (79). Actor David Caradine was born in 1940. Actor Chevy Chase was born as Cornelius Chase in 1943 (75). Actress Sigourney Weaver (Susan Weaver) was born in New York in 1949 (69).

Tuesday October 9 ■ Guitarist and vocalist John Lennon was born in Liverpool in 1940. US singer songwriter Jackson Browne was born in Germany in 1948 (70). Celebrity Sharon Osbourne is 66. Smooth 91.5 FM morning newsreader Jennifer Hansen is 54.

Thanks to GREG NEWMAN of Jocks Journal for assistance with birthday and anniversary dates. Jocks Journal is Australia’s longest running radio industry publication. Find out more at www.jocksjournal.com

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Movies, DVDs with Jim Sherlock, Aaron Rourke What’s Hot and What’s Not in Blu-Rays and DVDs FILM: JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM: Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi. Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeff Goldblum, Toby Jones. Year: 2018. Rating: M. Length: 128 Minutes. Stars: **** Review: Four years after the Jurassic World theme park was closed down, Owen and Claire return to save the dinosaurs when they learn that a once dormant volcano on the island is active and is threatening to extinguish all life there, and along the way, an ulterior motive rears its head that could disrupt the natural order of the entire planet. As far as creature-features go, flaws aside, it doesn't get any better than this! Director J.A. Bayona, whose previous credits include the heartwrenching coming-of-age horror fantasy "A Monster Calls," the nerve shattering and chillingly gothic ghost story "The Orphanage" (2007) and the supremely harrowing historical-drama "The Impossible," has taken this running, jumping, chomping franchise and kept it well with-in its established formula, but has also made it very much his own. A full throttle, high octane, adrenaline pumping thrill ride, there are wonderful touches throughout with nods to "Jaws" (1975), "Alien" (1979), the original "Jurassic Park" (1993), and most notably a very deliberate homage to F.W. Murnau's silent German horror 1922 gothic masterpiece "Nosferatu," which is worth the price of admission alone. A leap forward to 2015s previous and softer "Jurassic World," as far as the plot goes it's a pretty paper thin script by Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly, but that works in its favour, and there are a few spoilers that I won't reveal. As you would expect, the CGI, animatronics and sets are exemplary, brought more vividly to life with a more distinct and richly textured colour palate, and the cast are all well placed and give solid performance, most notably J.A. Bayona favourite Geraldine Chaplin as a wickedly deceptive but sympathetic nanny, a bad boy Toby Jones, and a welcome, albeit brief, return from Jeff Goldblum, who clearly avoiding anything with teeth, yet may be being set up for the next instalment. Creature features have been around almost since the dawn of film, and none are without their flaws, and this latest in a long line of classics is a dizzying, dazzling, wildly spectacular rollercoaster ride, an exciting adventure that makes cinema-going so much fun! .... and don't leave before the end credits! FILM: THE BOOKSHOP: Genre: Drama. Cast: Emily Mortimer, Bill Nighy, Patricia Clarkson, Honor Kneafsey. Year: 2017. Rating: M. Length: 113 Minutes. Stars: ***1/2 Summary: Set in 1959, widow Florence Green risks everything to open up a bookshop in a sleepy seaside town in England, but she struggles to establish herself by introducing the local townsfolk to the literature of the day including Nabokov's scandalizing "Lolita" and Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451", causing a culturally rude awakening in a town which has not changed for centuries, but her activities bring her an unlikely ally in the figure of the reclusive Mr. Brundish, who is himself sick of the town's stale atmosphere. Delightfully quirky, visually elegant and sublimely performed, "The Bookshop" relies purely on presence, performance, the written word, setting and a period of time and change, and succeeds more than admirably for those who are willing to be whisked along by the more refined, intelligent and eloquently traditional story-telling process that cinema all too rarely offers, developing its own emotional force between the characters and dialogue from between the pages. Sensitively and respectfully directed (by Isabel Coixet), beautifully photographed (by Jean-Claude Larrieu) and based on the novel by Penelope Fitzgerald of the same name, the stellar cast includes Emily Mortimer as the good-hearted widow, Florence Green, Bill Nighy as the lonely and mysterious, Edmund Brundish, along with Patricia Clarkson as the ambitious Mrs. Gamart and Honor Kneafsey as the young Christine. who all excel in their respective roles. To say any more would be an injustice, as well as disrespectful to the film and to all those who have not seen it, only that, "The Bookshop" is a beguiling and beautifully restrained British period drama on the winds of change, a richly engaging, charming and poignant experience, with a haunting undercurrent on today with the fading of characters, their journey's and places in the all-too forgotten literary worlds of dreams and imagination - through the coldness of today's technological advances. FILM: HEREDITARY: Genre: Horror/Mystery/Drama. Cast: Toni Collette, Gabriel Byrne. Alex Wolff, Ann Dowd. Year: 2018. Rating: MA15+ Length: 127 Minutes . Stars: *** Verdict: When the matriarch of a family passes away, her daughter's family begins to experience strange and inexplicable events, and as they search for answers, they unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry. Eerily unnerving and disquieting psychological horror relies largely on atmosphere, performance and patience to grip and hold attention, and succeeds for the most part, however, the films slow burning minimalistic approach at times delivers a menacing and inconsistently ambiguous effort more visually arresting than it is intellectually stimulating, and seemingly promises more along the way than it ultimately delivers with searing emotional depth. Far removed from the slasher-horror-genre and more in reflectively and respectfully in tune with "The Sentinel" "Rosemary's Baby" "The Wicker Man," "The Shining" and "The Changeling," among others, "Hereditary" is troubling, touching, frustrating, haunting, dry, overlong, poignant, wearisome and terrifying a moody, surreal and thought provoking progression of haunted paranoia and fear with an awkward balancing act it doesn't quite get right, but either way, is sure to get under your skin.

Rourke’s Reviews American Animals

■ (M). 116 minutes. Opens in selected cinemas October 4. Though it unfortunately becomes a case of style over substance, this heist drama, based on a true story, is still quite a bit of fun. Beginning in 2003, the story centres on Spencer Reinhard (Barry Keoghan), a Kentucky university art student who feels his life isn't amounting to anything. During a tour at the university's special collections room, Spencer hits on an idea of how to make his life special; steal the rare art book on display, worth around $12 million. Teaming up with wayward friend Warren Lipka (Evan Peters), and given added support by fellow students Eric Borsuk (Jared Abrahamson) and Chas Allen (Blake Jenner), the determined, if totally misguided, group come up with a plan to extract the expensive item from under the watchful eye of head librarian Betty Jean 'BJ' Gooch (Ann Dowd). Writer/director Bart Layton, who received wide acclaim for his stranger-than-fiction 2012 documentary The Imposter, makes a confident jump to feature films, but in a quest to impress, focuses more and more on visual flourishes, leaving his screenplay rather underdeveloped, keeping his characters static, shallow creations. This lack of depth and plot momentum makes its almost two hour running time feel excessive (the group even directly reference Kubrick's The Killing and Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, two heist flicks that are lean and efficient). Anyone who has seen Kevin MacDonald's Touching The Void (2003) will recognise this film's blueprint straight away, where a dramatisation is interspersed with interviews and narration by the actual people who concocted the robbery. The deliberate vagueness of what may-or-may-not-have happened is also reminiscent of the recent HBO movie The Tale (starring Laura Dern) and the underrated Tony Scott action/thriller Domino. Performances are fine, including a very amusing cameo by iconic cult actor Udo Kier (Suspiria, Brawl In Cell Block 99). American Animals is entertaining, but just don't look for much underneath its very slick surface. RATING - ***

A Prayer Before Dawn

■ (R). 116 minutes. Opens in selected cinemas October 4. In what can be glibly described as Midnight Express meets Rocky, this grim tale makes for relentlessly punishing viewing, and may prove too much for more sensitive moviegoers. Based on a true story, the film details the experiences of Brit Billy Moore (Joe Cole), a boxer aiming for a career in Thailand, but is

hampered by his chronic drug addiction. Arrested for selling illegal substances, Billy soon finds himself in the country's most notorious prison, and it isn't long before he sees the violence and horror up close. Supplied with heroin by corrupt guards, Billy's life looks like it is going to end badly inside these rusty, imposing walls, but his life takes a turn once he befriends ladyboy Fame (Pornchanok Mabklang), which subsequently leads him to the prison's boxing gym. Becoming part of the Muay Thai team, Billy starts training for the inter-prison championships, a quest that will hopefully put his mind and body back on track. A Prayer Before Dawn is hard to watch at times, with director Jean-Stephane Sauvaire wanting to make this journey as brutal and vivid as possible, and without reverting to cheap sensationalism, has succeeded to a striking degree. Sauvaire even cleverly keeps a good percentage of the Thai dialogue un-subtitled, to keep the audience as disorientated and intimidated as Billy is. Performances from a largely non-professional cast are convincing (Cole was in Green Room and Peaky Blinders TV series), and technically the film is extremely well-made. Just be prepared for what you're going into, as the film does deserve its R-rating. RATING - ****

The Seagull

■ (M). 98 minutes. Opens in selected cinemas October 4. Stagy and hollow, this latest adaptation of the classic Anton Chekhov play offers nothing new, making the whole enterprise feel completely redundant. Set in the early 20th century, most of the action takes place at a Russian country estate, where we initially see family members arriving to comfort seriously ill Sorin (Brian Dennehy), including sister Irina (Annette Bening), her partner Boris Trigorin (Corey Stoll), and son Konstantin (Billy Howle). Also among the crowd are the housekeepers, Polina (Mare Winningham) and Shamrayev (Glenn Fleshler), Doctor Dorn (Jon Tenney), and Masha (Elisabeth Moss). When the mysterious Nina (Saoirse Ronan) secretly arrives to see Konstantin, we then flashback to two years earlier, where all manner of complications and confrontations are playing out between these characters, filled with moments that range from playful to heartbreaking. The Seagull never breaks free from its stage origins, due to poor direction from Michael Mayer (Flicka, A Home At The End Of The World), who never injects any life, imagination or relevance into proceedings, taking the sting out of Chekhov's dialogue. This misfire only goes to show how well filmmakers such as Kenneth Branagh, Tom Stoppard, Sally Potter, and Laurence Olivier have brought other literary works to the screen, and the talent required to successfully do so. RATING - *½

Top 10 Lists SEPTEMBER 30-OCTOBER 6 THE AUSTRALIAN BOX OFFICE TOP TEN: 1. JOHNNY ENGLISH STRIKES AGAIN. 2. LADIES IN BLACK. 3. A SIMPLE FAVOUR. 4. CRAZY RICH ASIANS. 5. THE PREDATOR. 6. SMALLFOOT. 7. CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. 8. THE NUN. 9. THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS. 10. TEEN TITANS GO! TO THE MOVIES! NEW RELEASES AND COMING SOON TO CINEMAS AROUND AUSTRALIA: SEPTEMBER 27: ALPHA, CUSTODY, DON'T WORRY, HE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT, MCKELLEN: PLAYING THE PART, MY HERO ACADEMIA: TWO HEROS, NIGHT SCHOOL, THE NEGOTIATION, ZAMA. OCTOBER 4: AMERICAN ANIMALS, HARMONY, HELLO, MRS. MONEY, PAW PATROL MIGHTY PUPS: THE MOVIE, THE GREAT BATTLE, THE SEAGULL, VENOM. THE DVD AND BLU-RAY TOP RENTALS & SALES: 1. JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM [Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi/Chris Pratt]. 2. CHAPPAQUIDDICK [Biography/Crime/ Drama/Jason Clarke, Kate Mara]. 3. ADRIFT [Drama/Adventure/Shailene Woodley, Sam Claflin, Jeffrey Thomas]. 4. THE BOOKSHOP [Drama/Patricia Clarkson, Bill Nighy, Emily Mortimer]. 5. HEREDITARY [Drama/Mystery/Horror/ Gabriel Byrne, Toni Collette]. 6. OCEAN'S 8 [Crime/Comedy/Drama/ Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter]. 7. DISOBEDIENCE [Drama/Romance/ Rachel Weisz, Rachel McAdams]. 8. TULLY [Comedy/Drama/Charlize Theron, Mark Duplass, Ron Livingston]. 9. DEADPOOL 2 [Action/Adventure/ Comedy/Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin]. Also: CARGO, IDEAL HOME, AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, GRINGO, UNSANE, THE PARTY, THE GUERNSEY LITERARY & POTATO PEEL SOCIETY, A QUIET PLACE, LAST FLAG FLYING, THE ESCAPE. NEW HOME ENTERTAINMENT RELEASE HIGHLIGHTS THIS WEEK: SOLO: A Star Wars Story [Action/Fantasy/ Adventure/Alden Ehrenreich, Woody Harrelson]. SHOW DOGS [Comedy/Family/Adventure]. SPINNING MAN [Thriller/Mystery/Drama/ Guy Pearce, Pierce Brosnan]. BROTHER'S NEST [Comedy/Drama/Shane Jacobson, Clayton Jacobson]. MY FRIEND DAHMER [Drama/Ross Lynch, Anne Heche]. DVD AND/OR BLU-RAY NEW & RE-RELEASE CLASSIC MOVIES HIGHLIGHTS: PONYO: 10th Anniversary Edition [Anime/ Adventure/Comedy]. NEW RELEASE TELEVISION, DOCUMENTARY AND MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS: HOUDINI & DOYLE: Season 1. GREAT CONTINENTAL RAILWAY JOURNEY'S: Series 2. PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK (2018). ANH'S BRUSH WITH FAME: Series 3. - James Sherlock

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 57

Observer Showbiz

Local Theatre with Cheryl Threadgold and team NEWSBOYS FOUNDATION ■ With an impressive 125-year milestone, the Newsboys Foundation will celebrate this achievement through a collaboration with Melbourne Youth Orchestras and Outer Urban Projects to present a diverse cross-cultural concert, 125BPM at the Melbourne Recital Centre in October featuring over 60 young artists who represent an orchestra, rappers, beat boxers and gospel singers. 125BPM will also feature virtuoso didgeridoo soloist William Barton, who will be an inspiration and mentor for the Melbourne Youth Orchestras classical musicians and Outer Urban Projects contemporary artists. An 125 year old story that celebrates the energy, vitality and diversity of an enormous cohort of young people, 125BPM is an energetic allegro tempo concert – it will be fast, quick and bright. Directed by Melbourne Youth Orchestras Music Director, Brett Kelly, 125BPM will combine classic orchestral works from Jean Sibelius and Gustav Holst with original composition and arrangements by William Barton, Irine Vela and Outer Urban Projects artists. Since their humble beginnings in 1893 as a club for newsboys selling newspapers on the streets of Melbourne, the Newsboys Foundation has supported young Victorians who need assistance to realise their full potential and enable them to participate in academic pursuits, arts and culture, sport and outdoor education and develop lifestyle skills. As a twelve year old in 1946, Bob Urquhart (now 84), started selling newspapers on the corner of Russell and Little Collins Streets and explains that the Newsboys Club changed his life, “The club was something wonderful for the thousands of kids who passed through its doors … It helped them when they were struggling and it was a place where they could have fun, where they could learn valuable skills … It set a lot of us up for a better life than we might have had without it.” Melbourne Youth Orchestras receives Newsboys Foundation funding to support access to specialist tutors and educators to over 25 young musicians, including 19 year old Emma Amery, concertmaster for the flagship Melbourne Youth Orchestra, who travels a 500km round trip each week from Thoona to Melbourne to attend rehearsals. The Outer Urban Projects’ Linkage Employment Generator program utilises Newsboys Foundation funding to provide mentoring and development assistance to talented artists from Melbourne’s northern suburbs, including 21 year olds twins: Ruci and Joanne Kaisila who are gifted gospel singers that regularly perform in Outer Urban Projects’ Social Enterprise gigs and are also linked into other external performance opportunities with partner Arts Centre Melbourne. Artists and musicians from Outer Urban Projects and Melbourne Youth Orchestras previously collaborated throughout 2010-11, including creating a new work and composition, SubUrban Exchange, written for over 70 performers. Sandy Shaw, CEO, Newsboys Foundation, said: “Melbourne Recital Centre, Melbourne Youth Orchestras and Outer Urban Projects have been supported by Newsboys Foundation for many years. They have helped thousands of young people find their voice, discover their creativity, build friendships and create belonging. Newsboys is delighted that these well-respected organisations have come together to produce the Newsboys Foundation 125th anniversary concert which showcases young people and a wide range of performance styles.” Dorian Jones , CEO, Melbourne Youth Orchestras “The Newsboys Foundation has been a key supporter of Melbourne Youth Orchestras since 2010, helping us to engage specialist music educators through our program and provide financial support to young musicians and their families.” - Contributed

Coming Back Out Ball at Melbourne Town Hall ■ The second Coming Back Out Ball returns on October 25 at the Melbourne Town Hall, celebrating Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) elders aged 65+. Established for its inclusivity and cultural significance, The Coming Back Out Ball aims to empower LGBTI elders to assert their social agency, value and worth within a mainstream and ageist paradigm. The Coming Back Out Ball Artistic Director, Tristan Meecham, explains that the ball is a gift to honour the LGBTI aging community. “LGTBI elders are able to attend the ball for free. We want to acknowledge and champion the paths they’ve forged. Our vision is that The Coming Back Out Ball becomes an adored regular event on Melbourne’s social calendar.” Blending showbiz bells and whistles, community celebration and heartfelt story telling with a full dinner service, this evening features performances from Briefs: Close Encounters, Meow Meow, Electric Fields and a Coming Back Out Ball Band. The Coming Back Out Ball is conceived as a long-term ongoing project that supports the social needs and development of the growing LGTBI community – it successfully brings together different tiers of government and crosssectorial partners to address the complexity of ageing and social isolation for this often marginalised group. In 2018, The Coming Back Out Ball will address social isolation, ageism, homophobia and transphobia through a series of creative actions that celebrates and acknowledges LGBTI elders across rural and regional Victoria. All The Queens Men will initiate social dance

events to connect with socially-isolated LGBTI elders in partnership with municipalities across Victoria, including Greater Shepparton City Council, Mitchell Shire Council, Glen Eira City Council and Yarra City Council. In the middle of the 2017 Australian samesex postal survey, the inaugural The Coming Back Out Ball featured LGBTI performers, including Robyn Archer, Carlotta, Deborah Cheetham, Toni Lalich, Gerry Connolly, Lois Weaver and supported by The Coming Back Out Ball orchestra conducted by Dr. Kathleen McGuire. Lizzi Craig who attended last year’s ball explained, “It’s the first time I have been honoured for all the decades of struggles and my lifetime commitment to my activism for my community.” The Coming Back Out Ball has been augmented with long- term ongoing social transformation projects that include the LGBTI Elders Dance Club, which was been held monthly for the last three years at the Fitzroy Town Hall and this year has expanded throughout regional Victoria. In 2017, The Coming Back Out Ball also inspired a feature length film documentary, which recently premiered at the closing night gala for the 2018 Melbourne International Film Festival, with a national cinema release soon to follow. Date: Thursday, October 25 at 6pm Venue: Melbourne Town Hall, 90–130 Swanston Street, Melbourne Tickets: FreeLGBTI+ Elders (65+), $150 Full and $75 Senior Concession Further information: comingbackoutball.com - Cheryl Threadgold

Latest shows, auditions SHOWS ■ ARK Theatre: It's a Wonderful Life (Based on the story by Philip Van Doren Stern, book adapted by Doug Rand),Until October 6 at Lilydale Heights Performing Arts Centre, 17 Nelson Rd., Lilydale. Director: Candice Farrugia-Roberts. Bookings: www.trybooking.com/XODW ■ Leongatha Lyric Theatre: Death and the Maiden (by Ariel Dorfman) September 28 October 6 at Mesley Hall, Cnr. Horn and Ogilvy Sts., Leongatha. Director: David Tattersall. Bookings: 0490 525482. ■ Hartwell Players: Realism (by Paul Galloway) September 28 - October 7 at Ashwood High School, Vannam Drive, Ashwood. Director: Samuel Chappel. Bookings: 95139581. ■ Frankston Theatre Group: Charley's Aunt (by Brandon Thomas) September 28 - October 7 at Frankston Mechanics' Institute, 1A Plowman Place, Frankston. Director: Lachlan CaseyRoleff. Bookings: 1300 665 377. ■ Ballarat National Theatre: Pride and Prejudice (by Jon Jury adapted from the novel by Jane Austen), September 29 - October 6 at The Courthouse Theatre, Lydiard Street South, Ballarat. Director: Alexandra Meerbach. Bookings: 5333 5888 or www.hermaj.com ■ LOTS Theatre Incorporated: Legends of the Skies Series 6 , October 11 - 13, October 18 - 20 at 8pm, October 16, 17 at 2pm at the Australian NationalAviation Museum, MoorabbinAirport. Artistic Director; Maggie Morrison. Booking details: https://www.trybooking.com/ book/sessions?eid=382961 ■ CLOC Musical Theatre: Jekyll & Hyde October 12 - 27 at the National Theatre, St Kilda. Director: Shaun Kingma. Bookings: www.cloc.org.au

SHOWS

■ Babirra Music Theatre: Dusty - the Original Pop Dive October 12 - 20 at the Whitehorse Centre, Whitehorse Rd., Nunawading. Bookings: www.babirra.org.au ■ Mordialloc Theatre Company: Things My Mother Taught Me November 9 - 24 at Shirley Burke Theatre, 64 Parkers Rd., Parkdale. Directors: Laura Bradley and Michaela Smith. Bookings: 9587 5141 www.mordialloctheatre. com ■ Nova Music Theatre: Doctor Zhivago October 27 - November 11 at The Whitehorse Centre, Whitehorse Road, Nunawading. Bookings: 1300 304 433.

AUDITIONS ■ Peridot Theatre: Brilliant Lies (by David Williamson) October 7 at 5.00pm, October 8 at 7.30pm at The Unicorn Theatre, Mt Waverley Secondary College, Lechte Rd., Mt Waverley. Director: Damian Jones. Enquiries: 0419 537 871. ■ Ark Theatre: Visiting Mr Green (by Jeff Baron) October 9 and 11 at 7.30pm at Lilydale Heights Performing Arts Centre, 17 Nelson Rd., Lilydale. Director: Lisa McNiven. Auditions by appointment: lm.mcniven@optusnet.com.au ■ Heidelberg Theatre Company: Lost in Yonkers (by Neil Simon) October 23 and 26 at 7.00pm at 36 Turnham Ave., Rosanna. Director: Gayle Poor. Enquiries: gaylepoor@hotmail.com ■ Sherbrooke Theatre Company: Neighbourhood Watch (by Alan Ayckbourn) October 28 at 6.30pm and October 29 at 7.30pm at The Shed, 4/22 Jesmond Rd., Croydon. Director: Stephen Barber. Enquiries: 0422 384 985.

THE SEAGULL ■ Chekov’s plays are comedies. They look at the inexorable pathos behind the human condition; our insecurities, aspirations, jealousies, loves and losses. He employs observation rather than mockery to show just how vulnerable we can be. Michael Mayer’s film adaptation of The Seagull is true to Chekov’s intention of illustrating the frailties of those, young and old, who are in love, out of love and between loves. The sterling cast, too numerous to name in this short review, capture the spirit of the ageing queen of the stage, the pining alcoholic spinster, the shallow man of letters, the would-be youthful author and the aspiring ingénue. The art-house quality of the production speaks of sumptuous interiors, well lit close ups and period costumes. For all that, there seems to be no reason for the film version, no use of the filmic craft to interpret the naturalism of which Chekov was a forerunner. This is a presentation of what Chekov intended rather than a realization or insight into the humanism the playwright explored. The irony is, of course, that The Seagull is a play about nothing other than unrequited love and unfulfilled promise. The play takes its name from the gull senselessly and pathetically shot by one lover as a representation of his frustration and sense of displacement. At the same time, the theme is as epic and endless as the Russian steppes. This film will serve to introduce Chekov to those unfamiliar with his works and reacquaint those who studied him years ago, like me. But for all that, I would have it on the stage. The Seagull – in cinemas from October 4. – Review by David McLean

FILM REVIEW: DON’T WORRY, HE WON’T GET FAR ■ On the last day he walked, John Callahan woke up without a hangover, still drunk from the night before. What followed on that day was a monumental bender culminating in an encounter with a car and a telegraph pole. A biopic of a quadriplegic cartoonist tracing his journey through Alcoholics Anonymous’ 12-step program sounds like a weird pitch for a movie. Gus Van Sant’s oddball film. Don't worry, he won't get far on foot, stars Joaquin Phoenix as cartoonist Callahan and tracks Callahan’s life-long struggle with alcoholism. Prompted by his therapist girlfriend, Annu played by Rooney Mara, Callahan reluctantly joins an AA group run by an almost unrecognisable, Jonah Hill. Hill is sponsor to an eclectic group of sponsees, including Reba played by Beth Ditto of The Garbage and Corky, played by Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth fame. Hill is captivating as Donnie, a Svengali-esque, Studio 54, disco dancing, exhippie cajoling and reproaching his misfit tribe to take stock of their lives. Framed by his journey through the 12 steps, Callahan moves from se Interspersed with animations of Callahan’s offbeat and idiosyncratic cartoons, the film features cameos from Carrie Brownstein and Heather Matarazzo, and a poignant performance by Jack Black as Callahan’s nemesis – the guy who walked away from the accident unscathed. Funny and heartrending in equal measure, what could have been saccharine-sweet is a moving, quirky drama about redemption and life after catastrophe. - Review by Kathryn Keeble

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Page 58 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 Melbourne

Observer Lovatts Crossword No 19

Across 1. Able to be modified 6. Run away (4,3) 10. Crumpling 16. Drunkard 17. Canary Islands port, ... Palmas 19. Endure 20. Sheep fibre 21. Brass instrument 22. Snatched 23. Wallop 26. Church senior 28. Alliance 30. Smiles 31. Recite 33. Composer, Sir Edward ... 35. Serviceable 37. Wild grass 38. Fork point 39. Espionage agents 41. Mountain call 43. Supplement, ... out 44. Fragrant flower 45. Scornfully disobey 46. Corrosive substance, ... soda 48. Aquatic mammals 50. Contributes 51. Devout 52. Small fenced-in area 53. Sore secretion 55. Ice-cream server 57. Respectful 60. Ethnic bigots 62. Young man 64. Fire-fighting fixtures 67. Mass 68. Damages (bodywork) 69. Public pool 71. Achiever 72. Endorse (motion) 74. Camouflage colour 75. Italian farewell 77. Naked rider, ... Godiva 79. Bravery badges 82. A single entity 83. Peruses 85. Betray, ... on 87. OK (informal) 89. Tennis barrier 90. Ashen 91. Epsom annual horse race 92. Actor, ... Gibson 94. German Mrs 96. Distort 98. The N of NB 99. Synagogue scholar 100. Send back 102. Sort (through) 104. Cut (timber) 106. Gets 107. Tout 109. Cargo 111. Be unfaithful to (3-4) 112. Nothing 113. Milkshake ingredient 114. Ship's spine 116. Fraud 118. Frog relatives 119. ... of Carpentaria 121. Incursion 123. Woodwind instrument 125. Fibbed 127. Can metal 128. Excursion 130. Sunbeams 132. Truck compartment 134. Palm cereal 136. Tanzania's ... es Salaam 137. Squalid 139. Large racing yacht 140. Tennis ace, ... Nastase 141. Fishing-line fibre 143. Convict's ball & ...

Across 145. Mortuary table 147. Lawyer's charge 148. Wound with dagger 149. Ready for picking 150. Pledge 152. Put strain on 154. Writer, ... Blyton 156. Basketball shot, ... dunk 158. Flavouring herb 159. Oxlike antelopes 161. Acorn bearer 163. Prince Edward, ... of Wessex 165. Spicy lentil dish 167. Hunger pain 169. Restate 171. Fabric join 173. Cropping up 175. Silver bars 177. Pet's parasites 179. Ills 181. Nipples 182. Lion's neck hair 183. Honey wine 185. Positive replies 187. Dismiss 189. ... & downs 190. Kitchen flooring 191. Female opera singer 192. Cloth remnant 194. Security lapses 196. Non-clergy 197. Antarctic inlet, ... Sea 198. Judo level 199. Beijing's former name 202. Deplete 204. Cycled 205. Fast planes 206. Counterfeited 208. Auction 210. Knight's mount 212. Filled pastries 213. Sports team 214. Infant babble (4,4) 216. Happily ... after 217. Contactable (2,4) 219. Realms 221. Devonshire tea cake 223. Red-rind cheese 225. Perform 226. All-in fight 227. Open tart 230. Long films 232. Snowfields elevator (3,4) 235. Shopping precincts 236. Mother 238. Smash into 240. Anaesthetic gas 242. Exclusive group 243. Dispatches 244. Town plan 245. Physician 246. Attacked (3,2) 247. City, ... Angeles 248. Nursemaid 249. Ring-throwing game 251. Hallucinogenic drug (1,1,1) 253. Electricity power source 255. Greener 256. Revise (text) 258. Cash disc 259. Cases 260. Belonging to us 261. Beer 262. Divorce order (6,4) 263. Gizmos 264. Armless (dress)

Down 1. Marriage cheat 2. Vibrates 3. Pixie 4. Very eager 5. Radiant 6. Destines to grim fate 7. At summit of 8. Smoke vent 9. Tale 11. False pretences 12. Push for 13. Unrefined 14. Partook of liquor 15. Aphrodite & Athena 16. Moved to & fro 18. Regrettably 24. Clue 25. Low platform 27. Swollen heads, big ... 29. Yes vote 30. Tile mortar 31. Potatoes 32. Even so 34. Stretch 36. Alias (1,1,1) 38. Cheap booze 39. Indian gowns 40. Drink delicately 42. Windies batsman, Clive ... 45. Pasture 46. Desert plants 47. Kill selectively 49. ... & Gomorrah 51. Dried plum 52. Jerks 54. Voyage 56. Primp & ... 58. Peeper 59. Black wood 60. All set 61. Neck warmer 63. Date of offensive (1-3) 65. Cosmetics boss, Elizabeth ... 66. Israeli city, ... Aviv 68. Sheikhdom, Abu ... 70. Dedicatory verses 72. Cloyingly sweet 73. Duress 74. Roadway edgings 76. Rowing aids 78. Jabbers 80. Vaporised 81. Removes whiskers 83. Resist openly 84. Half 86. Fox brush 88. High temperature 91. Actor/singer, Sammy ... (5,2) 92. Fade (away) 93. Touch with tongue 95. Flying saucers (1,1,2) 97. World Wide Web (1,1,1) 99. Cheese skin 100. Entertainer, ... Harris 101. Layers 103. Mexican food shell 105. Carol, The First ... 107. Common seasoning 108. Afternoon meal 110. Gentle strokes 113. Humdrum 115. Lawful 117. Groaning 118. Close-fitting 119. Cunning 120. Polishes (car) 122. Tibet's ... Lama 124. Pyramids country 126. Blowpipe missiles

Down

129. Commercials 130. British flying force (1,1,1) 131. Produce 133. Overalls, ... & brace 135. Bullfight cry 137. Big cricket hit 138. Unique model (3-3) 142. Persona ... grata 144. African anteater 146. Inclination 148. Clever 149. Betrothal token, engagement .. 151. Scrutinising (accounts) 153. Every day 155. Sketched 157. So! 158. Provides with personnel 159. Squall 160. Obtain (support) (4,2) 162. Bend to pray 164. Mekong valley nation 166. Holidays owed, time in ... 167. Coal mines 168. In attendance (2,4) 170. Abated 172. Breakfast or dinner 174. Enervates 175. Forbids 176. One, numero ... 178. Browns (meat) quickly 180. Disfigure 182. Feel the loss of 184. Michaelmas ... 186. Skim on ice 188. Environmental treaty, ... Proto col 190. Plenty 191. Challenged 193. Midges 195. Filter 197. Cotton spool 198. Avoid 200. Age 201. Candied 203. Requires 205. Abandon (lover) 206. Financial penalties 207. Shady tree 209. Flee to wed 211. Duck's mate 212. Agreement 213. Window ledges 214. Confused 215. Fuses (of bones) 218. Coffee lounge 219. Surfer, ... Slater 220. Sailors 222. Troop formations 224. Flour factory 226. Yacht's principal canvas 228. Antiquated 229. Crooner, ... King Cole 231. Hardens 233. Leo animal 234. 'Tis (2'1) 235. Death in Venice author, Thoma ... 236. China's ... Zedong 237. Pacify 239. Portable 241. Horse-riding show 243. NE US state 244. Corpse repository 248. Fixes with hammer 250. Ayatollah's land 252. Former Italian currency 253. Castle ditch 254. Model, ... Macpherson 257. Used spade

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018 - Page 59

Solution on Page 39

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Page 60 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Observer Victorian Sport Melbourne

Guineas attracts the best ■ The Caulfield Guineas one of the main attractions for our top three-year olds over 1600 metres to be run at Caulfield on Saturday October 13, has attracted some smart three-year olds. The brilliant The Autumn Sun, trained by leading trainer, Chris Waller, is taking the racing world by storm with his brilliance, and is at the head of the charts for the Caulfield Guineas. He has put together four wins from his only five starts with an unlucky third on a heavy eight track at Rosehill. His win in the Golden Rose stakes at Rosehill had to be seen to be believed, running terrific sectionals beating his stablemate, Zousain, narrowly, but well. Impeccably bred by leading sire, Redoute's Choice from a Galileo mare, is the one to beat, with Waller having a very high opinion of the colt. His stablemate, Zousain, beaten by only a long neck is very smart, and has won two with three placings from his eight starts. He has been clashing with the best of the three-year olds in Sydney, and recently run second to Lean Mean Machine, The Autumn Sun, and now a great second to The Autumn Sun. He always gives 100 per cent and will be hard to beat in anything he contests. The Darren Weir trained Leonardo Da Hinchi will be right in the firing line having won two of his four starts and running a great second narrowly beaten by the good colt, Brutal, at Flemington. Beautifully named he is by leading sire, Hinchinbrook from Portrait. Weir also has a big opinion of the colt. Another promising three-year old in the market, is the Anthony Freedman trained, Declaration of Heart, another well named being by Declaration of War from Cardiac. Before Flemington he had won two in good fashion at Geelong and Sandown. He is raced in the colours of Blue, Gold Australian Chinese Jockey Club logo, gold armbands and cap. ● Leonardo Da Hinchi proves too good at Sandown. Racing Photos. Like the above, the stable has a big opinion Though his trainer, Darren Weir, said the to be lame in the near foreleg. of the three-year old. Land of Plenty who ran a great third in the Sir Of the others at the top of the market, horse was 100 per cent the next day. International galloper, Folkswood, who ran Rupert Clarke Stakes, could have been a bit Good'N'Fast, is smart and is in the top camp of Hayes and Dabernig and has won two of his third to Winx in last year's Cox Plate, was found unlucky after crashing into the mounting yard gate, but was passed fit to run upon examination four starts at Flemington and a second. behind the starting gates. He is by former Golden Slipper winner, There were excuses for top mare, Global Sebring, from the American broodmare, Glamour in the last after over racing in the early Hennessy. and middle stages. Another from the Hayes-Dabernig barn is After pulling up she was found to be lame in Ocean Knight, by Cox Plate Winner, Ocean the off hind leg. Park, who shows promise, having won at Caulfield four starts back. On the next line is one that impressed me with his gutsy win at Caulfield was Extra Brut, ■ Racing Victoria's Off The Track program although winning narrowly, he showed a ton of and Equestrian Victoria, the Governing body for heart with a win over Thunderdome over the equestrian sport in Victoria, have announced an Guineas distance of 1600 metres. extension to the ongoing sponsorship of EV's He is yet another of the Weir team, and will 2018-19 affiliated horse trials, a series of evening right there at the finish. competitions, that encompass Dressage, Show He is by Domesday, the sire of the unlucky, Jumping and Cross Country, and the subsequent Royal Symphony, who is out with an injury. support of retired racehorses competing. In 2018-19, a total of 17 EV horse trials across Victoria will be formally recognised and financially supported by the Off Track Program. ■ Like last time, the Stewards report into runOff The Track thoroughbreds excel in a ners at Caulfield, indicate once again several of range of disciplines due to their speed, stamina the top fancies had problems. and agility, the aim is to drive the demand for In race one, the aptly named, A Fighting Fury, the breed as performance and pleasure horses. part of Richmond's theme song, like the Tigers The Off Track program was created to eduhe had a slow recovery after his unplaced run. cate the community about various life after racIn the third the Blue Diamond Stakes winner, ing options, versatility of use, and the appropriWritten By was most impressive winning first ate care and retaining of the thoroughbred, and up. the partnership with EV allows them to do that It was found after pulling up, that the threeto a wider and more varied demographic. year old had lost his near fore plate in the run. Amanda Ross and her retired Bianconi Mare, He is all class and it would pay to follow up this Koko Popping Candy, recently won the CIC3 at spring. this year's Melbourne International Three-dayIn the fifth the Queenslander, Whypeeo, preevent, proving that thoroughbreds can compete pared by leading trainer, Toby Edmonds, jumped with some of the best horses in the state. awkwardly, and after pulling up after his unplaced At every nominated Horse trial, the Best Perrun was found to be lame in front. formed OTT Thoroughbred will be awarded a In the Naturalism, the winner, Night's Watch, prize. after coming from near last, was found to lame - Ted Ryan in the off hind leg.

Ted Ryan

Program extended

Excuses

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Wine Column When cricket was serious fun

● Having a good time: Dennis Lillee at Yalumba on a rest day ■ I'm old enough to remember when most first-class cricket matches had a rest day, quite often a Sunday to coincide with the Sabbath. One of the really beaut things about the Adelaide Test, particularly when the English were involved was the bus trip for players and media to the Barossa to visit Yalumba. The owners of Yalumba have always been confessed cricket tragics. Clem Hill was an Australian captain in the late 1800s and later Wyndham Hill Smith represented Western Australia. There's plenty of evidence for the fun that was had on those visits held in Yalumba's museum, notably a picture of Dennis Lillee and Ian Botham stripped down to their budgee smugglers and obviously having a great time. The museum contains plenty of other Yalumba memorabilia and is a great venue to visit, especially if you're having a decadent lunch in the Tanks 11 and 12, which have been converted to fine dining places from their original use as waxed-concrete wine-storage tanks. And while I'm on a cricket theme, just one more cricket yarn. When he was launching Yalumba's premium cabernet-shiraz, the Caley, current chief of the family company, Robert HillSmith, told his PR assistant to make sure that Lillee and Marsh were at the event. Apparently she's still scouring the globe looking for Lillian Marsh, and wondering who this obviously most important person is. WINE REVIEWS Yalumba 2016 The Virgilius Viognier ($48): Yalumba's chief winemaker, Louisa Rose, is generally regarded as the Australian master of this temperamental grape variety, and it shows in this flagship white release. It's both powerful and restrained, showing excellent balance of exquisite perfumed fruit and skilled winemaking subtlety. Drink with a cleverly sauced, fairly fill-flavoured chicken dish. Yalumba 2014 The Signature Cabernet Shiraz ($65): Yalumba uses this hearty red, generally made from 100 per cent Barossa fruit, to honour the services of exceptional employees or others who've made an major contribution to the company. This particular vintage honours Chris Greening, a long-serving member of the S Smith & Son sales force. A full-flavoured dry red deserving of the finest steak.WINE OF THE WEEK Yalumba 2012 The Caley Cabernet Shiraz ($349): No, the price isn't a typo. You'll have to fork out just on $350 to enjoy Yalumba's ultra-premium red flagship. Tasting this wine a rare treat. It combines the elegance of the very best Coonawarra cabernet with the robust richness of superb Barossa shiraz. The winemakers suggest pairing it with a slow-roasted rack of veal. Who am I to argue the toss? - John Rozentals

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Deck-Doc

Local company chosen as best in the world

For many years Deck-Doc has been supplying retailers throughout Australia with their premium range of timber and decking oils. For the past three years, Deck-Doc has been predominantly selling their products online to service the whole of Australia as well as international customers.

Deck-Doc was recently chosen over other companies to supply their oils to an international company and is in the process of sealing an agency agreement for exclusive distribution and selling rights in Sri Lanka and the Maldives. Deck-Doc timber oil is environmentally friendly and the business has been manufacturing unique, lanolin-based timber oil in Geelong for 15 years. The formula was developed by Robert Hylands to preserve the natural oils and tannins in the timber. The timbers oils and tannins determine the colour of the timber. If the tannins dry out, the timber will lose its own natural colour. The formula is made up of many different plant oils, waxes and lanolin and designed to stay soft and pliable when absorbed into the surface layers of the timber, therefore will not solidify and form a hard membrane of the surface. It will move with the timber during all weather conditions preventing water absorption and drying out of the tannins. Mr Hylands first developed the timber oil when he noticed there was nothing on the market that preserved the timber and protected the timber’s natural colour. Before his time at Deck-Doc, he gained experience when he owned a factory making hand carved, handpainted wooden decoy ducks for duck hunters. The timber used for the ducks had to maintain its natural colour and stay on the water without absorbing moisture. After extensive research, he found lanolin (wool grease) gave excellent water repellency as well as UV protection. Mr Hylands developed lanolin-based timber protection oil and found the water-repellent protection and preservative way far superior and says lanolin is “Nature’s natural UV protection”. Lanolin comes from the wool of sheep and is extracted from the fleece. It is a substance that waterproofs, insulates, and protects sheep from the cold, wind, rain and harmful CV sun rays. Deck-Doc uses the best merino wool to extract lanolin. Throughout history ancient mariners such as the Vikings used lanolin to protect, waterproof and preserve the wooden boards on their ships. Many of the ships were away from their home bases for many years and their ships were subjected to wild storms at sea. They survived thanks to the protection of Lanolin. Deck-Doc invites all to visit their showroom in Moolap for free advice in a number of important issues concerning timber care. There is a large selection of timber types that have been exposed to severe weather conditions, enabling people to understand the importance of choosing a suitable timber type. for the right application. Also know what happens to the different types of decking stains and coatings, how they weather, and the maintenance required. The friendly staff have useful hints for anyone preparing to build a new deck.

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Rural News

SPRING IS HERE, ORDER YOUR TANK NOW

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Learning to Ride

Balance Bikes from Ivanhoe Cycles Balance Bikes (also called training bikes) are pedalless bikes designed to provide fun and exercise and to teach the basic skills of steering, balance and co-ordination. They are suited to a child from 2 to 5 years of age. The child simply sits astride the balance bike and "walks" while steering with the handlebars.

It effectively allows them to learn balance without having to learn to pedal at the same time. It cuts the learning "gradient" down. They are also called pre bikes or first bikes. Balance bikes are becoming increasingly popular, as it is so much easier to learn to ride. Learning to ride can be achieved at their own pace. A less confident child can “walk” it around for as long as they like, then

when ready, they can gradually lift their feet and scoo along until they are ready to simply push off and jus roll along. More confident kids will be flying around with huge smiles in no time at all. Because they have a sturdy aluminium or steel frame and well constructed wheels they are virtually trouble free, and can be passed down from child to child.

BYK E250L PURPLE $219

GIANT PRE BIKE - RED $199

Mongoose Lilgoose WNR Girls Balance Bike 12 Inch $179

Byk E250L Purple - Girls 14inch Balance Bike

12 inch boys balance bike that is a perfect gradient for learning to ride a real bike

The low stand-over height makes it very easy to get on and off the bike,

LIL ZOOMER BALANCE BIKE - GREEN $99

BYK E200L $189

Little Zoomer Balance Bike in any colour. A fun way to teach balance and coordination! Suitable 2-4 years.

Byk E200L. Balance Bikes make it so much easier for your child to learn to ride.

MONGOOSE LILGOOSE WNR BOYS BALANCE BIKE 12 INCH $179 The Mongoose Lilgoose Balance bike is not only one of the cutest designs we've seen on a training bike.