Melbourne Observer. 020918. September 18, 2002. First edition of new series. 20 pages

TV RADIO LIF TOU T INSIDE Ph 1-800 231 311 Fx 1-800 231 312

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2002

including GST

GOSSIP

SHOWBIZ

LIFESTYLE

SPORT

Melb. ‘society priest’ jailed

John-Michael to write for us

Best wines to enjoy

Footballers face court

- Page 2

- Page 13

- Page 12

- Page 3

RADIO WARS M ELBOURNE entertainer John Blackman is commencing legal action against struggling radio station 3AK.

Blackman, best known for his TV appearances on Hey Hey It’s Saturday, was last month sacked without notice from 3AK’s breakfast program, despite a 12month contract being in place with the radio station.

News of the bitter legal action comes as 3AK’s parent company announced this week that it has lost more than $11 million in just 12 months.

Kim is Material Girl ■ KIM KILBEY - host of Australia’s Funniest Home Videos - is a Melbourne girl ... who just launched her own children’s clothing label ‘Material Girl’.

■ Her family started the childern’s wear label called Braggers in 1982, and have always been inthe rag trade. Kim studied fashion at Box Hill TAFE, working with her father before winning the Channel 9 role in Sydney ■ Kim was raised in Melbourne, with her family still living in Patterson Lakes.

She is a passionate Collingwood supporter, and recently married actor William Snow.

■ Kim says the launch of the ‘Material Girl’ fashion label is exciting, with the first collection just hitting Myer stores this month.

Melbourne excited over Lotto bonanza Large queues are expected at suburban Tattslotto agencies today and tomorrow for this week $30 million Powerball draw.

Punters are taking extra tickets in a bid to win the giant first prize.

Earlier this year, a Perth couple won the entire $30 million jackpot. In June, a syndicate won a $20 million jackpot.

$30,000,000 The syndicate members were the workers at a nursing home at Kilmore, north of Melbourne.

They purchased their lucky ticket at the Wandong General Store agency.

Tattersalls says that if the first division prize is not won tomorrow night, next week’s jackpoy might exceed a record $40 million.

The most regular numbers drawn from the barrel in the Powerball draw are 26, 45 and 33.

The number 9 has only been drawn twice in the history of Powerball, which started in 1996.

Blackman says he is taking the action against Data & Commerce Ltd (3AK), its managing director Jeff Chatfield, and director Ron Hall.

He refuses to make any comment on the matter.

Speculation is wide that Sydney businessman John Singleton will soon submit a bid to buy 3AK, and its sister station, 3MP. Both stations are languishing in the listener ratings: 3AK has only been able to muster 2.4 per cent; 3MP has a share of only 3.4 per cent.

‘Downturn’ Company chairman Kevin Campbell blames "consequences of the downturn in the technology and telecommunications sectors" for the poor financial performance of the 3AK and 3MP division of DC&L.

Meanwhile, John Singleton, 2GB-2CH principal has tripled the turnover of his radio stations in the same period, and has mentioned nothing of a telecommunications downturn in his comments about his company.

Loss Mr Campbell said: "On a combined basis the radio assets are not performing to a level where they are generating sufficient cashflow to meet the operating their costs (sic) and the radio subsidiary is dependent on the reserves of Data & Commerce Limited to sustain the operations.

“Ultimately the radio operations will be required to generate a return to the company and our expectation is for this to happen in the current year," Mr Campbell told the Stock Exchange.

■ John Blackman is taking legal action against 3AK

Inside

■ Jeff Chatfield, CEO: station loses $11 mil.

Uncertain future for 3AK presenters?

■ Melbourne Director jailed. Page 2 ■ Society priest jailed for 10 years.Page 2.

■ School bullies invade Internet Page 3.

■ ‘Long Shots’ - with Ash Long. Page 4.

■ Stonnington City Council sues woman for feeding pigeons.

Page 5.

■ Talk OfThe Town.

Page 6.

■ TV Program Guide.

Pages 9, 10, 43, 44 ISSN 1447 4611

■ 3AK’s line-up of hosts includes (from left): former Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett, Derryn Hinch, Greg Evans, James Dunn, Don Crawford and Doug Aiton.

ADVERTISING THE BEST OF EVERYTHING

■ Page 2 - Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002

FAST FORWARD

Inside This Week

SHOWBIZ

Young lions purr ■ Alexandra Davies and Nadine Garner are in ‘Young Lions’. Page 3 PEOPLE

Oprah weighs in ■ The National Enquirer magzine says Oprah is now 20 stone. Page 5.

LONG SHOTS

Jeff’s lazy ways ■ Former Premier Jeff Kennett fails to respect local listeners. Page 4.

FEATURES

Talk of the Town ■ The inside scoop on all the hot gossip around Melbourne. Page 6.

SPORT

Grand Finals book ■ Jim Main and Rohan Connolly have issued a new edition of their AFL Grand Finals book. Page 19.

Our Front Page Photo ■ Melbourne girl Kim Kilbey may have moved to Sydney for work reasons, but her heart is definitely in Melbourne.

Kim is a passionate Collingwood supporter.

Director paid debts with firm’s cash E Melbourne LTHAM businessman John Charles Freeman has been sentenced to two years jail after pleading guilty to two charges of failing to act honestly as an officer.

Mr Freeman was sentenced on Friday, in the County Court of Victoria, to two years jail, to serve a minimum of nine months.

The charges were brought by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission , and prosecuted by the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions.

Freeman was the director of Freeman Hall Investment Services Pty Ltd, a licensed securities dealer, from 1992 until 1999. He was also a director of Bankswood Developments Pty Ltd, which was involved in the building of a block of residential units.

ASIC alleged that between February and August 1998, Freeman obtained $174,300 of clients' funds, which he used to pay debts of Bankswood, or for his own personal use.

His clients were told these funds had been used to purchase publicly listed shares in their own names.

Mr Freeman was charged following an investigation

by ASIC into his conduct as a financial adviser.

Confidential

In August 1999, both Freeman Hall and Bankswood were placed into liquidation, following an application by ASIC. Those people involved in the management of companies, particularly those acting as financial advisers, must act honestly in the discharge of their duties and put the interests of their clients before their own’, ASIC Director of Enforcement, Jamie Orchard said.

10 years for society priest

■ JERRY LEWIS made plenty of headlines when he abruptly cancelled shows at Melbourne’s Crown Casino and Darwin when he suffered meningitis.

■ Lewis, who starred with Hollywood’s Dean Martin, has bloated after being treated with cortisone. Lewis, now in his 70s, this month hosted his Muscular Dystrophy telethonin America, raising $A116 million.

■ Lewis, 76, collapsed last week, just prior to a scheduled public appearance at the London Palladium.

F r Vincent Kiss, the former Melbourne ‘society priest’, has been sentenced to 10½ years in jail, after pleading guilty to sex offences against teenage b oys.

Fr Kiss, 70, had already served a jail term after admitting stealing $1.8 million for a charity trust.

Fr Kiss admitted 10 charges of indecent assault and three charges of buggery against four b oys, ahed 13-17, fro m 1996 to 1973, at a Catholic secondary school in Albury.

J u d g e PPee n e l o p e Hock told the priest he had committed“a gross b reach of trust and exploitation”.

Have You Heard?

FRANKSTON

Knife edge

■ Six knife attacks in four weeks is causing concern for Frankston Police.

“Violet crimes seem to be on the increase again,” says Det. Sgt. Steve Fyffe.

NORTHCOTE

Dead frog

■ A dead frog has been sent in the mail to Darebin Councillor Cr Melissa Salata. The surprise arrived in an official municipal envelope.

MELTON

Doctor crisis

■ The outer-western suburb of Melton is in crisis, with its inability to attract enough doctors. It has a ratio of one doctor to 2600 patients. The figure should be 1 to 600.

ASCOT VALE

Showtime!

■ The Royal Melbourne Show starts tomorrow (Thurs. Sept. 19) and continues until Sunday, September 29. Check out www.royalshow.com.au

Observer Recommendations BEDDING BAYSIDE BEDDING 2/300 Kororoit Creek Rd, Williamstown Phone: 9397 3388 Contact: Vic See Page 16

CABINETS CLASSIQUE DESIGN CABINETS Factory 12, 5-7 Paul Ct, Dandenong Phone: 9793 9574 Contact: Kerry See Page 13

COMPUTER NETWORKS EXTREME NETWORKS www.extremenetworks.com.au Phone: 9785 7162 Contact: James See Page 17

COSTUME HIRE IN DISGUISE COSTUME HIRE Phone: 9974 1685 Mobile Phone: 0402 984 479 Contact: Josina See Page 18

DOG TRAINING FOUR PAWS K9 TRAINING Keilor Park Phone: 0412 523 998, 0408 145 758 Contact: Trish See Page 4

DOORS W.H.F. DOORS Factory 3, 67-71 Russell St, Werribee Phone: 9742 7343 Contact: Brian See Page 18

EMBROIDERY STITCHERY BLUE 95a Ferguson Street, Williamstown Phone: 9397 2005 Contact: Viv See Page 8

JEWELLER EUREKA DIAMONDS Shop 5, Mountain Gate Shop. Centre Phone: 9758 8844 Contact: Leanne See Page 17

KITCHENS KITCHEN IMPULSE PTY LTD 283 Holt Parade, Thomastown Phone: 9464 6766 Contact: David See Page 3

MECHANICAL REPAIRS JACKSON AUTOMOTIVE Factory 1, 756 Burwood Hwy, F.T. Gully Phone: 9752 2289 Contact: Danny See Page 7

PANEL BEATER PETER THE PANELBEATER Factory 2, 154 High St, Melton Phone: 9743 0258 Contact: Peter (Kamps Car Care) See Page 5

PHOTO STUDIOS BODYFORM PHOTO STUDIOS 10 Attenborough Street, Dandenong Phone: 9794 9479 Contact: John See Page 15

PROFESSIONAL HYPNOTHERAPY HARVEY DUNKLEY Southern Suburbs Phone: 9553 1963 Contact: Harvey See Page 6

SECURITY DOORS DAVID & MICHELLE’S HOME IMPROVEMENTS Factory 6, 399-401 Old Geelong Rd, Hoppers Crossing Phone: 9369 8688 Contact: David See Page 19

STONEMASON TIMELESS STONE Bayswater Phone: 9720 5258 Contact: Jason, Tabatha See Page 14

IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR BUSINESS OR SERVICE TO BE IN THE OBSERVER ‘RECOMMENDATIONS LIST’, CALL 1-800 231 311

Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 3 ■

Local Newsline

School bullies abuse the net

BREAKING NEWS: UK fans have started a 25hour fundraising marathon of watching 70 episodes of The Simpsons .

BY OUR CHIEF ST ATE R OUNDSMAN STA ROUNDSMAN

Melbourne Newsdesk S Drought hits Vic. ■ Paul Weller, head of the Victorian Farmers Federation, says a quarter of the state is now in drought.

“Like many farmers, we have been hoping for late rains, but the failed crops across northern Victoria from the lack of rains could not be ignored.”

Sex shop rejected ■ Crs Naim Melhem and Geraldine Gonsalvez of Greater Dandenong Council have led the move to not allow a sex book shop in Cheltenham Road, Keysborough. They said a planning application should be rejected because it introduces retailing into an industrial zone.

Rape victims wait ■ Rape victims in the eastern suburbs sometimes have a wait of up to five months before receiving counselling, according to the Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault. Spokeswoman Carolyn Worth says a $1.2 million deficit is to blame.

Footballers in Court ■ A Mornington Peninsula Nepean Football League player and a key Chelsea Football Club member have been arrested and charged on two counts each of obtaining property be deception. They are due to face Dandenong Magistrates’ Court tomorrow (Thurs.) on charges allegedly relating to betting transactions at Berwick and Pakenham TAB.

chool bullying is now being done by computer and mobile phones.

Gayle Pike, middle school head at Mowbray College, is telling parents that ‘electronic bullying’ is being predominant out of school hours.

The Melton-based school is telling parents that one in four incidents is now done through electronic means.

The problem is said to be commonplace amongst female students in Years 7 and 8.

KEW

School’s meningitis alert ■ Trinity Grammar, the prestigious private school in Kew, has warned parents of the danger of meningitis. Deputy Principal Rohan Brown says parents should look out for headaches, stiff nexks and drowsiness intheir children.

CRAIGIEBURN

Group fights freeway ■ Green group, Friends of the Merri Creek, plans a Federal Court challenge to the new $306 million Craigieburn by-pass. President Max Sargent says the project - which will generate 3000 jobs - is a ‘disaster’of noise, fumes and traffic for the Lalor and Thomastown communities.

Conflict “Although messages are not usually sent from school, they impact on our school environment and cause conflict between students at school and anguish for both students and staff.”

John O’Shea, Deputy Principal, says it is easy for persecutors to open free e-mail accounts, make up a user name and post’abusive stuff’ about another students, report Penny Harrison and Paige Hawkett of The Moorabool Leader newspaper.

MELBOURNE

Young Lions just purr-fect ■ Alexandra Davies (left) and Nadine Garner are appearing in the current episodes of the Australian drama, ‘Young Lions’, on Channel 9.

■ They play the characters of Detective Senior Constable Donna Parry and Bec Sharpe in the Southern Star Entertainment Productions. Garner’s character ‘Bec’ walks into a gang rape situation in a hotel car park, and - using her kickboxing skills - kills one oft he men.

Melbourne Observer publishes FREE private FOR SALE and WANTED TO BUY classifed ads for readers. Free ads will be published in order of receipt. Send by fax to 9431 6247, or e-mail to freebees@melbourneobserver.com.au Sorry no phone bookings.

Payment of $5.50 will GUARANTEE publication same week.

Time out on number plates ■ Drivers with illegible number plates on their cars have only until the end of September to exchange the plates, to avoid a $110 fine.

LOWER PLENTY

Divorce program ■ The last program for 2002 of Tabor Journey will be held October 18-20 at Lower Plenty. Tabor Journey is a program for people who are separated, divorced or widowed and is designed to help with the pain of the loss, anger, sadness and emptiness that follow the end of a marriage. Contact Centacare Catholic Family Centre on 5221 7055.

MANSFIELD

5 Crs for new Shire ■ Five Councillors will form the new Mansfield Shire Council, following the State Government’s for a municipality to breakway from Delatite Shire.

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■ Page 4 - Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ed.nesda ed.nesdayy, September 18, 2002

Long Shots with Ash Long, Editor

CONTACT US Vol. 34 No. 1 - Wednesday, September 18, 2002 Melbourne’s Weekly Lifestyle Newspaper Head Office: 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Vic. 3095 Postal Address: P.O. Box 1014, Research, Vic. 3095 Telephone: 1-800 231 311 Fax: 1-800 231 312 Web: www.melbourneobserver.com.au E-Mail: editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

ABOUT US Editor: Ash Long Sub-Editor: Kristi Long Features Editor: Peter Mac Reporters: ‘Veritas’ (TV/Radio), Larry Lawrence (Humour) Distribution: Gordon & Gotch Ltd. Printing: Latrobe Valley Express, Morwell Melbourne Observer (ISSN# 1447-4611) is published weekly (except Christmas/January and Easter Wednesday) for $2.00 a copy by Local Media Pty Ltd (ABN 67 096 680 063), 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Victoria, 3095.

Copyright 2002. Local Media Pty Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

The Melbourne Observer is printed under contract by the Latrobe Valley Express Partnership, 20 George Street, Morwell, for the publisher, Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 91 003 450 207, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Vic. 3095. Distributed by Gordon and Gotch. Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long. Copyright © 2002, Local Media Pty Ltd - a division of Local Newspapers Australia Ltd. ISSN 1447-4611

melbourneobserver.com.au

Kennett fails to tune in J

EFFREY Kennett: you can be a silly goose!

Once Premier of our fine state, you have reduced yourself to a boring, ponderous radio host ... who hasn’t ‘paid his dues’in radio, nor one that does his homework.

Jeff was an embarrassment on his 3AK ‘drive’ program last week when he continually referred to 9/11 (September 11) observances as “7-11”.

Does his own producer not listen to Jeff’s gaffes?

You would have thought by the FOURTH time that Kennett made the stupid error, that someone at AK would have pulled him up!

Jeff Kennett: lazy work will fail to win ratings

MEMORIES OF MACCA ■ Robert MacDonald, one of the really popular men of the Melbourne newspaper world, has died at the much-tooyoung age of 49.

■ For many years, Rob was Group Real Estate Manager for the Leader Newspapers suburban chain.

■ ‘Macca’ started his early days of selling newspaper space in the eastern suburbs, becoming manager of the Lillydale and Yarra Valley Express.

■ I had the privilege of working alongside Mac from 1978 to 1983. He was a fun bloke, and part of a fun team.

■ Graeme Trainor, on of our great bosses of the time, offered a fine eulogy to the memory of ‘Mac’.

■ May we extend our sincere sympathies to Sue and family.

For the kids Victoria’s Good Friday Appeal for the Royal Children’s Hospital may see some new fundraising activities, if the latest US practices comes here.

Jerry Lewis (see P2) ran his 37th telethon for Muscular Dystrophy, which included a TV ‘jail’ segment where celebrities are locked in a cell with a phone, raising a $25,000 ransom to secure their effect. Ideal for Lillian Frank and friends.

Dial OOO The ‘1144_’ series of phone numbers of accessing Police, Fire or Ambulance is about to end.

The State Government is running a publicity campaign to remind people to dial ‘000’ if they require these services in an emergency.

A Friendly Reminder ... Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.

Short Shots ■ HELLO POSSUM! Greg Long, of Corryong and Walwa, my dear brother, celebrates a special birthday on Friday next week (Sept. 27).

Dale Peters, high-flying Councillor with the Cityof Banyule enjoys his 27th birthday this Friday (Sept. 20).

Chris McPherson, country newspaperman based at Shepparton, is set to blow out 48 candles on Monday (Sept. 23). He is sure to be reading this.

Happy daze all! *** If you or a friend wants to be listed in our Melbourne Observer Birthday Book, drop me a line at PO Box 1014, Research, 3095. *** Keep smiling!

- ASH LONG

Possums are causing so many problems in the Monash area, requiring United Energy to spend $250,000 on the ‘plague’.

■ WHAT A REAL SHOCKER! The $1.5 million fire at Pipeworks marketplace, Campbellfield, was caused by overloaded electrical sockets, say invest-igators.

■ PILL POPS. The Metropolitan Ambulance Service is asking people to get rid of out-of-date medicines.

■ TOORAK TRACTORS (4WD ‘buses’) are now also being known as ‘Mosman Monsters’ in Sydney.

Send news items to ash@long.com.au

DOG OBEDIENCE CLASSES 5 WEEK CER TIFIC ATE COURSES CERTIFIC TIFICA

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 5 ■

Council sues pigeon feeder Local People Thelma Wilson, The Observer’s Social Editor, brings you the latest news of Melbourne people.

Send your snippets to thelma@ melbourneobserver. com.au

MELBOURNE

Dutch community meets

■ Anne Farley, Secretary of the DutchAustralian Community Council, advises ofthe ‘Over 50s’ group that meets every Thursday, 10am-3pm. A Klaverjas Marathon will be held on Sunday (sept. 22), $12.50 all day. Contact 9312 5831 for more details.

HURSTBRIDGE

L

ora Stock, a South Yarra resident, has been sued by Stonnington Council, in Melbourne ... for feeding pigeons!

The Council took legal action against the local resident for encouraging and feeding pigeons on her third-storey balcony at Kensignton Road, South Yarra.

Hadley Sides, Chief Executive Officer of Stonnington Council, said the legal action was launched against Ms Stock failed to comply with a notice requiring her ‘to abate a nuisance’.

“We’re talking two to three dozens pigeons here and there are diseases humans can catch from there.”

The Council says it is concerned about the lung disease psittacosis, which can be contracted from the pigeon’s faeces.

To be included in this ‘Melbourne Observer’ promotion, phone 1-800 231 311

Gershwin Musical

■ Fred Astaire’s all-dancing Gershwin spectacular, My One And Only, will be presented by the CLOC Musical Theatre, at the Alexander Theatre, monash University, Clayton, from October 11-26.

■ Set in 1927, the razzmatazz and drama of jazz age America leaps off the stafin a story of adventure, romance and espionage.

■ Contact Sandra Davies, CLOC Administrator, 9592 2897, for booking details.

Diseases

Headline

■ Eric Smith, Chair of the Hurstbridge Fire Brigade Building Fund Committee, says a fundraising auction will be held on Sunday, October 20, to help build and equip a new station to be built on Main Road. Call Julie Sharp, 9712 0185, for more details.

TOORAK

“The Council normally wouldn’t intervene in these circumstances, but the body corporate couldn’t solve the issue,” Mr Sides told The Stonnington Leader.

Suspended jail term for Frankston man ■ TV star Oprah has not hit 275 pounds (19st 9ozs), according to the US supermarket tabloid, The National Enquirer.

Isaacson judges papers

■ Peter Isaacson, 82, war hero and Melbourne businessman, has judged Rupert Murdoch’s Toorak-South Yarra local paper, Stonnington Leader, as the best in the Southern Division of Community Newspapers of Australia.

■ Isaacson published his own paper, Southern Cross, in the same area for 50 years, before being bought out

by APN News & Media.

MELBOURNE OBSERVER PHONE NUMBER OF THE WEEK

9670 1881 Contact: Melbourne Oyster Bar to book a great night out

MELBOURNE

PM asks for applications

■ Prime Minister John Howard is promoting his awards for excellence in Community Business Partnerships. www.partnership.zip.com.au

Biz Buzz

Melbourne Observer publishes FREE private FOR SALE and WANTED TO BUY classifed ads for readers. Free ads will be published in order of receipt. Send by fax to 9431 6247, or e-mail to freebees@melbourneobserver.com.au Sorry no phone bookings.

Payment of $5.50 will GUARANTEE publication same week.

■ Antony David Smales, a company director from Frankston, has been given a suspended jail sentence.

■ Smales, a director of Spiderweb Solutions Pty Ltd, pleaded guilty to two charges of making improper and dishonest use of his position as a director to gain an advantage for himself.

■ He faced the Melbourne County Court on two charges brought by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC).

■ Smales was sentenced to 12 months imprisonment, to be fully suspended upon him entering a recognisance in the amount of $1000 to be of good behaviour for two years.

■ He was also ordered to repay $120,218 to the company, which was placed into administration.

■ The charges related to Mr Smales’ withdrawal of $134,921 from the company’s bank account without the knowledge of his co-directors. Smales used the money to gamble at Crown Casino and other venues.

PETER THE PANELBEATER TRADING AS KAMPS CAR CARE

Spray Painting Restorations Insurance Work Free No-Obligation Quotes Ask For Peter Factory 2, 154 High St, Melton

Phone 9743 0258 Self-employed for more than 30 years

■ Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Talk Of The Town with Observer Reporters

Kylie takes a break

Need To Know ...

Want publicity for your organisation or news event?

Fax to us on 9431 6247.

KYLIE MINOGUE, the Camberwell girl who took on the music world, is holidaying with her mother CAROL, around Broome.

London tabloids have been quick to speculate that Kylie had a nervous breakdown, after a split with her boyfriend JAMES GOODING. Minogue’s management was not pleased with a Melbourne morning newspaper revealing that she was staying at the Cable Beach Club Resort.

Their phone ran hot!

Gamblers Anonymous ■ Melbourne is hosting Gamblers Anonymous Awareness Week. They hold 32 meetings across Melbourne. If people think they have a gambling problem, they can phone 9696 6108.

Death by accident ■ Coroner Jacinta Heffey says 21-year-old prison inmate Paula Richardson died atthe former private women’s prison in Deer Park ‘by accident’ ■ “It was the result of a simulated suicide that went wrong,” stated the Coronial Report.

High fire danger in West

■ Melton and Bacchus Marsh residents have beenasked to prepare themselves for the worst fire danger season in 20 years.

You’re No 1

Today’s Promise ■ “He that spareth his rod hateth his son.”

- The Bible: Proverbs.

Just A Thought ■ “Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves.”

- William Lowndes 1652-1724 Letters To His Son

The Last Word ■ “In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.”

- Charles De Gaulle

melbourneobserver.com.au

THE OBSERVER has the nicest readers.

This week we salute DAVID SPARKS Bar Manager at the Melbourne Marriott Hotel, who is assisted by his associate MICHAEL CROFTS

Local Headliners ■ JOHN FLETCHER, Coles-Myer CEO, brought on the SOLOMON LEW - STAN WALLIS boardroom fight, according to business journalist ALAN KOHLER. “If Lew wins he’s out a job,” Kohler wrote in The Weekend Australian Financial Review. *** ■ Sympathy to radio veterinarian JACK AYERBE, on the loss of his brother, LT. COL. TONY AYERBE, who passed away on Thursday at Cabrini, Prahran. (Dr Ayerbe appears weekly on DERRYN HINCH’S radio program.) A service was scheduled to be held at the Wesley College Chapel, Prahran, yesterday (Tues.). *** ■ FRANK LOWY, Australia’s second richest man with $4.2 billion, was at Deer Park Secondary College to congratulate local teacher LEAH DOWNEY on winning a $24,000 Westfield scholarship.

‘Old Scoop’ Says ■ THAT the Mornington Peninsula Council is so worried about being accused of corruption in regard to tendering contracts, that it will hire an independent auditor at a cost of $1250-a-day, to make sure the process is seen as transparent.

■ THAT the Moorabool Council’s tape recorder strangely went out of action when an officer compared Bacchus Marsh to Toorak, and Ballan to Broadmeadows. A local resident asked for a copy of the tape to take to an appeal hearing.

■ THAT Council Officer Greg Jakob told a local newspaper reporter: “I can’t explain why the tape didn’t work that night.”

■ THAT you haven’t heard much lately about Governor-General Peter Hollingworth, have you?

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 7 ■

Court Reports

melbourne observer.com.au

Action helps Coogi workers E

mployees of the failed Coogi Group will now have a better chance to recoup some of their entitlements following a Court decision last week over a restructuring of the group’s assets.

Justice Merkel, in the Federal Court of Australia, has made a ruling that

the March 2000 transfer of the employment and responsibility for approximately 240 employees from the primary Coogi Group to shell companies, with minimal assets, was not effective or binding.

As a result of the ruling employees will now have a greater potential to receive their full employee

entitlements, estimated to exceed $2,500,000, as they will be treated as continued employees and creditors of the pre-restructure Group.

In action taken as part of its role to protect creditors, the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) was granted leave to appear

'amicus curiae' (friend of the court) in yesterday's proceedings and argued that the steps taken in March 2000 to transfer the employment of employees, by changing the name of the employer in payroll, taxation and other company records, without appropriate consultation or the employees' consent,

Legal Briefs

PATTERSON LAKES

MELBOURNE

WORLD

ALTONA

Vandals hit

Privacy act

Mac attack

Weapons

■ Some 70 trees,valued at $2000, have been ripped out by vandals, at Gladesville Boulevard, Patterson Lakes.

■ Victoria has a new Information Privacy Act. Peoplemay complain to a Privacy Commisisoner if they believe an act or practice of an organ-isation may interfere with their privacy.

■ French fries may be hazardous to your health, according to a lawsuit filed in America against the McDonald’s and Burger King Corporations.

■ The Council for Education and Research onToxics claims the two fast-food chains violated a Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act, because their French Fries contain the toxic chemical acrylamide, a suspected carcinogen, found in high levels of fatty food.

■ Snr Sgt Bill Myers of Altona North Police says weapon carrying in the local area is a ‘phenomenon’, despite new laws being passed from July 1.

Snr Sgt Myers said there was concern for young people.

“They seem to carry them incase of an attck but the law does not recognise self-defence when carrying a weapon if they are illegal,” the policeman told reporter Dinah Arndt of the Footscray Mail local newspaper.

SEDDON

Unlawful jail?

■ Rodney Nielsen, 30, says he was unlawffuly jailed for 12 days after a magistrate’s order was misread. Lawyer Rob Matthews says: “They’ve made an error and Mr Neilsen is entitled to be compensated for that.

ALTONA

Umpire grab ■ Central Altona Tigers footballer Abdul Haddara, 20, has escaped legal action after grabbing an umpire in a headlock in a WRFL game.

were not effective or binding.

ASIC further submitted that the Court had the power to grant the orders sought in relation to the employee creditors.

Dangers Justice Merkel spoke of 'the dangers of corporate restructures that are implemented to suit the interests of the controllers in disregard of the existing employee entitlement rights of the employees, without whom the corporations would have little or nothing in their business to restructure'.

ASIC has recently accepted an enforceable undertaking from Mr Jacky Taranto, the sole director and controlling shareholder of the Coogi Group, and companies associated with Mr Taranto, to preserve proceeds from the sale of property owned by a Taranto company for the benefit of both employee and unsecured creditors of the Coogi Group, in the event that creditors resolve to accept a deed of company arrangement.

Police Beat SUNBURY

Metal detectors used ■ Police officers in the outer north-west are using Minelab detectors in an effort to find weapons. Det. Sgt Sam Stouppos says the battery-operated device will be in police cars in a bid to detect flick knives, knuckle-dusters and pistols.

HAWTHORN

Crime reports increase ■ Inspector John Todor, of Boroondara police, says reports of crime are increasing slightly. A rise of 2.6 percent was reported for the 2001-2002 year, represented by an extra 172 reports to Police.

HEIDELBERG

Street lives in fear ■ Some residents in the Heidelberg West area have taken to sleeping in their cars in an attempt to catch a man causing havoc in the area. Reports say the manhas been performing lurid acts as well as stalking residents and breaking into their properties. Police ask the residents to let them do their job, rather than put themselves in danger.

SOMERVILLE

150 gatecrash party ■ Some 150 youths gatecrashed an 18th birthday party at the Somerville Mechanics Institute this month. A Mornington family had their special night ruined when troublemakers threw bottles around the hall. It was planned that the party was to have gone until 3am. Instead, it was shut at 11pm.

JACKSON

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■ Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Your Stars with Christina Le Cross

ARIES (March 21st-April 20th) A social gathering that you are going to be attending could lead to romance, but don't push it let the other person take the initiative and then you will know for sure that the feeling is mutual. Call my star line now to find out what rewards the stars may bring.

Travel melbourneobserver.com.au

Do duck in at Gunning, NSW

TAURUS (April 21st-May 21st) More interest is indicated in sporting activities and you seem to be particularly concerned about getting in shape. Don't go overboard though and forget to meet up with the friends you were supposed to see. Call my star line now to find out whose feelings for you are stronger than you thought.

GEMINI (May 22nd-June 21st) If you persevere you should be able to achieve your aims and ambitions. However an offer of help from a friend may not be needed just now but keep it in mind as it could prove to be very useful in the future. Call me now to find out where you may find the real love matches.

Observer Fact File NAME: Do Duck Inn Guesthouse and Bentley On Hume Cafe WHERE: Old Hume Highway, Gunning, NSW. PHONE: (02) 4845 1207 WEB: www.doduckinn.citysearch.com.au E-MAIL: doduckinn@webone.com.au

CANCER (June 22nd-July 23rd) You appear to have two courses of action that are open to you and it may be rather difficult to make up your mind, which is the best one to take. Call my star line now to find out more about your week in life and love.

LEO (July 24th-August 23rd) Try and get some sort of a break from your usual routine and social obligations. You seem to have been caught into a bit of a rut of late and a change of scene is what's needed. Call my star line now to see why holiday plans are so prominent.

VIRGO (August 24th-September 23rd) A minor difference of opinion with a family member could develop into a much more serious argument, so take care not to turn a trivial difference into a major problem. Call my star line now to improve on those shaky finances.

LIBRA (September 24th-October 23rd) This should be a most satisfying time all round and you should be feeling very pleased with yourself. A younger person is particularly prominent at this time, but you may be required to find some extra energy in order to keep up with them. Call now to find out more.

SCORPIO (October 24th-November 22nd) A sentimental journey is indicated which could put you in a most nostalgic mood. However it really is no good dwelling on what might have been when there is so much on offer to you for the future. Call my star line now to see what's happening in work.

SAGITTARIUS (November 23rd-December 21st) n interfering relative may annoy you but is best ignored considering the time you are going to have to spend in their company. Call my star line now to find out which sign you can't trust with those secrets. CAPRICORN (December 22nd-January 20th) Please try not to rush any work that is put before you. The stars are going to be doing their best to cause silly mistakes and if you do not take your time you are going to harm your otherwise untarnished reputation. Call now for news on love and romance.

AQUARIUS (January 21st-February 19th) You must try to be a little more careful of the amount of ammunition you give to friends concerning your personal life. You may find that it comes back on you when events turn around. Call now to find out what brilliant ideas Gemini's can offer.

PISCES (February 20th-March 20th) Talk of moving house or changing the one you're in may not be met with the approval you'd hoped. You may have been thinking about it for a while, but it is all very new to others so try to break any ideas or plans to them gently. Call me now for your week in full.

The Do Duck Inn Bed and Breakfast, and Motel, is located on the major Hume Highway route to Sydney.

Gunning is a comfortable day’s drive, just 7 ½ hours from Melbourne.

The property is at a quiet location, but just 500 metres off the Hume Freeway, making it easy to locate, but also easy to relax.

The Do Duck Inn provides comfortable four-star accommodation at both the Bed and Breakfast, as well as the Motel. This comprises all-new ensuites, with air conditioning and television provided.

One of the special features that keeps people coming back to the Do Duck Inn is the open fires – especially romantic in winter and spring.

You can be treated with a gourmet breakfast, whilst overlooking the attractive cottage gardens. Evening dinners are available to the rooms, or at the wonderful Bentley On Hume café.

The café is a favourite amongst travellers, and is open for breakfast, as well as morning tea and afternoon tea sessions, with gourmet foods and special coffees available.

‘Ansett aniversary should be warning’

T

he anniversary of Ansett's demise should serve as a warning to the government on avia tion policy, according to the Opposition.

Labor MP Martin Ferguson said last year's collapse should act as a warning to the government not to roll out "an unconditional welcome mat" for Singapore Airlines (SIA) to enter the domestic aviation industry.

Mr Ferguson said Labor advocated pursuing talks with SIA to ensure it would not fly "rich routes" while regional communities were ignored and to see that priority was given to former Ansett workers.

"Twelve months on, Australia is still feeling the impact on jobs, tourism and regional aviation services (of the Ansett collapse)," Mr Ferguson said.

Mr Ferguson claimed the government was failing to heed the lessons of the last airfare war.

"Australian workers, businesses and the communities they support do not need another airline collapse.

Australia needs a Government that is interested in a stable, secure and sustainable aviation policy," he said.

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 9 ■

Observer TV THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25

‘Nine breaches TV code’- ABA M

elbourne’s Channel 9 has breached the Commercial Television Industry Code of Practice with a broadcast of A Current Affair, the Australian Broadcasting Authority has found.

Cyclops Melbourne’s One-Eyed TV Critic ■ JENNIFER KEYTE’S two-minute guest spot next week on Channel 7’s Tonight Live Revisited has angered some of her Channel 9 colleagues who want to see a ratings bonanza in the same 9.30pm Thursday (Sept. 26) timeslot in which EDDIE McGUIRE’S Footy Show has its Grand Final episode. *** ■ STEVE VIZARD is listed in a Channel 7 news release as co-hosting the show with JENNIFER KEYTE, whose 120-second appearance was said to have been given the OK personally by Nine boss IAN JOHNSON. *** ■ PETER HITCHENER and JO HALL offered an impressive ‘two-hander’ for the National Nine News coverage last week, especially for the hourlong coverage of US observances of the September 11 anniversary. Expect more double-headers later in the year, especially with Premier STEVE BRACKS tipped to call an early State election. *** ■ DARREN JAMES (3AW, Buy, Swap & Sell, Saturdays, 6am-8am) scared a few Melburnians on Saturday. At 7.15am, he gave a time-call of 9.15am, prompting a few to spring out of bed!

Melbourne

Observer

The ABA investigated A Current Affair after it broadcast a segment that dealt with ‘chroming’, which involves inhaling aerosol spray from a plastic bag.

One viewer said the segment served to promote the practice, that certain scenes should have been edited ot, and that a warning preceding the segment should have been given.

Another viewer said the segment breached the privacy clause ofthe Code.

ACA host Mike Munro

The ABA determined that GTV-9 breached the code in that it did notexercise care in selecting material for broadcast “having regard to the likely audience of the program”.

Quips & Quotes "He's called my mother trailer-trash, and I think any person in Australia would be offended by that. If I were him I wouldn't come too close to me. I am going to get even. I'll do it publicly and I'll do it quite loudly. When I turn I'm like a black snake in the sun. I will strike! I couldn't give a fat rat's clacker what he thinks of me but he cannot say that about my mother. I am, just for once, quite serious." Roland Rocchiccioli, quoted by Jonathan Green of The Age, after a review by Herald Sun critic Chris Boyd.

Middle East: through the eyes of children The story of seven children – neighbours, but all growing up very far apart - is told in Promises, screening on SBS Television on Sunday (September 22) at 8.30pm.

Promises presents a compelling vision of the Middle East conflict through the eyes of seven Palestinian and Israeli children growing up in Jerusalem.

Each child offers an intimate, refreshing and sometimes humorous perspective on issues that lie at the heart of the conflict.

Living no more than 20 minutes apart, but locked in separate worlds, the film explores the boundaries between these children and tells the story of the few who dared to cross the lines to meet their neighbours.

Promises was nominated for Best Documentary at the 2002 Academy Awards and was produced and directed

by Justine Shapiro, host of the awardwinning Lonely Planet series, and B.Z. Goldberg, an American/Israeli who

PICK OF THE WEEK ‘PROMISES’ Sunday, September 22 SBS-TV, 8.30pm “Any Jew who sees me would think I’m a terrorist. They think about their relatives who’ve been killed. So we both think the same thing. We each think of our relatives who’ve been killed by the other side… so we try to finish each other off to kill one another quickly.”

- Faraj Adnan Hassan Hussein grew up in Jerusalem and was a journalist during the “Intifada” (Palestinian Uprising). After the terrifying attacks on America, people are struggling to understand the conflicts in the Middle East.

7-DAY TV PROGRAM GUIDE

Thursday, September 19 ABC

4.30 M ovie.All Coppers A re ...6.00 N ew Dimensions.6.30 Business Breakfast.7.00 George Shrinks.7.25 Simon InThe Land Of Chalk Drawings.7.30 RockyAndThe Dodos.7.40 Stickin’ A round.7.45 Old Tom.8.00 Bob The Builder. 8.10 O swald.8.20 ThomasTheTank Engine.8.25 Sesame Street.

9.25 Bananas In Pyjamas.9.30 Play School.10.00 ForThe Juniors.10.15 OurAnimals.10.20 Number Crew.10.40 Made By Design.11.00 Handmade.11.25 Australians.11.30 Hello aus Berlin.11.45 PathwaysTo Australian Science.12.00 WorldA t Noon.12.30 Take The High Road.1.00 Universe.1.50 Feedback.2.00 Federal QuestionTime.3.00 The Hoobs.3.25 Caillou.

3.30 Play School.4.00 Bananas In Pyjamas.4.05 Engie Benjy.

4.15 Pongwiffy.4.25 Olliver’s Adventure.4.30 Stickin’A round.

5.00 AngelaAnaconda.5.25 Daria.5.50 FlyTales.

6.00 Rolf Harris’ Animal Hospital.

6.20 Feedback.

6.30 N ew Dimensions with George Negus.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 The 7.30 Report.

8.00 Catalyst.

8.30 Chaser NoNstop News Network.9.00 DaAli G Show.9.30 Back Berner.10.00 True Stories:Search for ‘The Afghan Girl’. 10.55 Lateline.

11.25 Studio 22. 12.00 Parliament Question Time. 1.00 M ovie. Madonna Of The Seven Moons.2.45 M ovie. Pasionate Summer. 4 . 3 0 M ovie. Bitter Harvest.

SEVEN 6.00 Sunrise.9.00 The Book Place.

9 . 3 0 A Country Practice. 1 0 . 3 0 S even Morning News.11.00 Ricki Lake.12.00 M ovie. Extreme Justice.

2.00 Chicago Hope.

3.00 Passions.4.00 The BigA rvo.

4.30 Home Improvement.

5.00 MASH. 5.30 Wheel of Fortune.

6.00 S even Nightly News.

6.30 TodayTonight.

7.00 HomeAnd Aw ay.

7.30 Stargate.

8.28 Powerball.

8.30 2 4 9.30 James Cameron’s DarkAngel.

10.30 Mutant X. 11.30 S even Late News.

12.00 Nash Bridges.

1.00 NBCToday.

3.00 Danoz Direct.

4.00 Victor Paul.

5.10 Punky Brewster.

5.35Video Power.

NINE

TEN

SBS

C31

6.00 National Nine Early News.7.00 Today.9.00 Here’s Humphrey.9.30 Cushion Kids.9.35 Cliffo rd. 10.00 pacific Drive.10.30 Fresh.11.00 National Nine Morning News.11.30 EntertainmentTonight.12.00 D ays Of Our Lives.1.00 YoungAndThe Restless.2.00 Water Rats.3.00 Spin City.

3.30 Nikki.4.00 Escape of theA rtful Dodger. 4.30 Family Ties.5.00 The Looney Tunes Show. 5.30 Burgo ’s Catch Phrase.

6.00 National Nine New s 6.30 A CurrentAffair 7.00 Fraiser.7.29 Keno.

7.30 Getaw ay.

8.30 This IsYour Life.9.00 R PA.9.30 The Footy Show. 11.15 Nightline.

11.45 The Fugitive.12.45 The Footy S h ow (NRL). 2 . 1 5 T h e D avid Letterman Show. 3 . 1 5 M ovie.

Entertaining Mr Sloane.5.00 Family and Friends. 5.30 Entertainment Tonight.

6.00 YogaT V.6.30 Aerobics Oz Style.

7.00 CheezT V.8.30 InThe Box.9.00 Good MorningAustralia.With Bert N ewton.11.00 Huey’s CookingAdventures.11.30 Ten News.12.00 Je rry Springer. 1.00 Judge Ju ry.1.30 Beauty and The Beast. 2 . 3 0 T h e OprahWinfrey Show. 3.30 Neighbours.4.00 Totally Wild.4.30 The Bold &The Beautiful.5.00 Ten News.

6.00 The Simpsons.

6.30 Neighbours.

7.00 Seinfeld.

7.30 D awson’s Creek.

8.30 L aw & Order S.V.U. 9.30 Law & Order 10.00 Ten Late Night News.11.00 Sports Tonight. 11.30 Spin.12.00 Thursday Late Night Movie:Divided

By Hate.1.40 Video Hits.2.00 Home Shopping.4.00 Life InTheWord.4.30 Kenneth Copeland.5.00 Life Today with James Robison.5.30 This IsYour D ay with Benny Hinn.

5.00Weatherwatch.5.30 Japanese N ews.6.04 Cantonese News.6.25 Mandarin News.6.55 Telegiornale (Italian).7.30 DAS Journal.8.00 Ta NeaTon Ennea (Greek).9.00 Le Journal.9.30 S evodnia (Russian).10.00 Weatherwatch.10.10 Telediario.

11.00 Siaran Berita (Indonesian).

11.30 The Journal.12.00 Business Report.12.30 Dateline.1.30 Docum e n t a ry : Chemical Kids. 2 . 2 5 Weatherwatch.3.00 TV Ed.3 . 3 0 Documentary:A Fork In Australia.

4 . 0 0 School To rq u e. 4.30 Toyota World Sports.5.00 N ewshour with Jim Lehre r.6.00 GlobalVillage.6.30 World News.7.00 Toyota World Sports.7.30 Drama Series:MeetThe Ancestors. 8.30 Insight.With jenny B rockie.9.30 World NewsTonight.

10.00 Soccer. UEFA Champions.

11.55 Drama:The Hypocrites.12.30 Thriller:Patriot (In Slovenian,English .1.55 Close. sub-titles).1.55

8.00 M ove It Or Lose It (Exe rcise).

8.30 Disappearing Frontier. 9 . 0 0 Upstairs Downstairs.10.00 Gomer Pyle. 10.30 Ke rr’s Kitchen.11.00 To ny’s Great EuropeanTour. 11.30 Retirement Forum - RetirementVillages inAustralia.12.00 M ovie: Horror Express.2.00 Unearthed.2.30 W hyWe Fight:The Nazis StrikeAgain.

3.30 Sports Page.4.00 Fishcam.

6.00 N ew s 6.05 Geelong News and Commerce 6.30 Racescar 7.00 At Home With The Baccalas (Italian) 7.30 GDFL Football Focus 8.00 C New s 8.05 Public Hangings 8.30 Geelong Live 9.00 ‘Jaanz Live’At Funkies 9.30 Raucous 10.30 Yartz 11.00 The Big Leaguers 11.30 Priority One.12.00 Fishcam

6.00 National Nine Early News.7.00 Today.9.00 Here’s Humphrey.9.30 Cushion Kids.9.35 Cliffo rd. 10.00 pacific Drive.10.30 Fresh.11.00 National Nine Morning News.11.30 EntertainmentTonight.12.00 D ays Of Our Lives.1.00 YoungAndThe Restless.2.00 Water Rats.3.00 Spin City.

3.30 Nikki.4.00 Kangaroo Creek Gang. 4.30 Family Ties. 5.00 T h e Looney Tunes Show. 5.30 Burgo ’s Catch Phrase.

6.00 National Nine New s 6.30 A CurrentAffair 7.00 Fraiser.7.29 Keno.

7.30 Burke’s Backyard 8.30 M ovie. Most Wanted.11.00 Nightline.11.30 The District.12.30 Late Show with David Letterman.

1.30 M ovie.The Face of Fu Manchu.

3.20 m ovie.The Brides of Fu Manchu.

5.00 Family and Friends.Diane Craig, Justine Clarke.5.30 Entertainment Tonight.

6.00 YogaT V.6.30 Aerobics Oz Style.

7.00 CheezT V.8.30 InThe Box.9.00 Good MorningAustralia.With Bert N ewton.11.00 Huey’s CookingAdventures.11.30 Ten News.12.00 Je rry Springer. 1.00 Judge Ju ry.1.30 Beauty and The Beast. 2 . 3 0 T h e O p r a h W i n f rey S h ow. 3 . 3 0 Neighbours.4.00 Guinevere Jones.

4.30 The Bold &The Beautiful.5.00 Ten News.

6.00 The Simpsons.

6.30 Neighbours.

7.00 Seinfeld.

7.30 The Simpsons Hour.

8.30 Friday Night Movie.

10.55 Ten Late Night News.

11.25 SportsTonight.

11.55 Video Hits Uncut.

2.00 Home Shopping.

4.00 E Street.

5.00 This IsYour Day with Benny Hinn.

5.30 Christian CityT V.

5.00Weatherwatch.5.30 Japanese N ews.6.04 Cantonese News.6.25 Mandarin News.6.55 Telegiornale (Italian).7.30 DAS Journal.8.00 Ta NeaTon Ennea (Greek).9.00 Le Journal.9.30 S evodnia (Russian).10.00 Weatherwatch.10.10 Telediario.

11.00 Siaran Berita (Indonesian).

11.30 The Journal.12.00 Business Report.12.30 Documentary:Hitler’s Henchmen. 1.30 Documentary: Constant Cravings.2.20 Weatherwatch.3.00 TV Ed.3.30 Asia Sport.

4 . 0 0 Insight. 4 . 3 0 Toyota World Sports. 5.00 N ewshour with Jim Lehre r. 6 . 0 0 Global Village. 6 . 3 0 World News.7.00 Toyota World Sports.7.30 M y W ay:The Soccer Lady. 8.00 Food Lovers guide To Australia.8.30 About Us: Rainbow Bird and Monster Man.9.30 World N ewsTonight.10.00 QueerAs Folk.

10.50 QueerAs Folk.11.40 Eat Carpet.12.45 M ovie.2.30 Close.

8.00 M ove It Or Lose It (Exe rcise).

8.30 Making History 9.00 Time Of Your Life.9.30 JackAnd The Green Talk.10.00 The Beverly Hillbillies.

10.30 M ovie: Colonel Effinghams Raid.12.00 WinningWomen.12.30 Drive.

1.00 Bonanza.

2.00 M ovie:Red Fury 4.00 Fishcam.

6.00 C New s 6.05 The Eastern Footy Show 6.30 The Geelong Footy Show 7.30 Nat Chat 8.00 C New s 8.05 G reek CurrentAffairs (Greek) 8.30 Above All Is Health (Greek) 9 . 0 0 TV Hellas Documentary (Greek) 10.00 The Greek Beat Show 10.30 Stuff.Sketch Comedy.

11.00 The Comic Box. 11.30 NoiseT V 12.00 Fishcam

Friday, September 20

6.00 N ew Dimensions.6.30 Business Breakfast.7.00 George Shrinks.7.25 Simon InThe Land Of Chalk Drawings.7.30 Rocky AndThe Dodos.7.40 Stickin’A round.7.45 OldTom.8.00 Bob The Builder.8.10 O swald.8.20 ThomasTheTank Engine.8.25 Sesame Street.9.25 Bananas In Pyjamas.9.30 Play School.10.00 Take OnTechnology.10.15 Puzzle Maths.10.30 Our History: EatingThen and Now.10.40 Australians.10.45 BehindThe N ews Specials.11.00 Living Australia.11.30 ExplodingThe World of Music.12.00 WorldAt Noon.12.30 TakeThe High Road.1.00 M ovie.The Naked Truth.2.30 Dinnerladies.3.00 The Hoobs.3.25 Caillou.3.30 Play School.4.00 Bananas In Pyjamas.

4.05 Engie Benjy.

4.15 Pongwiffy.

4.25 Olliver’s Adventure.

4.30 Stickin’A round.

5.00 AngelaAnaconda.

5.25 Life Fo rc e.

5.50 Fly Tales.

6.00 Rolf Harris’ Animal Hospital.

6.30 GardeningAustralia 7.00 ABC News.

7.30 Stateline.

8.00 TheVicar of Dibley.

8.30 Dalziel and Pascoe.

10.00 The Glass House.

10.30 Lateline.

11.00 Four Fathers.

11.50 Rage.

6.00 Sunrise.9.00 The Book Place.

9 . 3 0 A Country Practice. 1 0 . 3 0 S even Morning News.11.00 T h e D avis Cup -Live.Tie:Australia v India.

4.00 The BigA rvo.

4.30 Home Improvement.

5.00 MASH. 5.30 Wheel of Fortune.

6.00 S even Nightly News.

6.30 TodayTonight.

7.00 HomeAnd Aw ay.

7.30 Auction Squad.Johanna Griggs with help, turns 50s drab to dazzling.

8.30 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries:Well Schooled in Murder 10.30 TheVilla.

11.30 S even Late News.

12.00 Holly wood RealTo Reel.

1.10 NBCToday.

3.10 Victor Paul.

4.10 Danoz Direct.

5.10 Punky Brewster.

5.35Video Power.

■ Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Melbourne

Observer

TV - Radio - Showbiz

Funny Mal, perfect gent, sadly missed stalwart Bruce Ruxton, who rushed from Geelong to one of the many paying tribute.

Mal Meikle worked in England for some years after the War, and honed his craft as a fine showman. So much so that he was invited to appear at THREE Royal Command performances.

By ASH LONG, Observer Editor

M

ELBOURNE has just lost one of its finest and unique showbiz characters.

And I've lost a good mate.

Hundreds gathered at the Diamond Valley Baptist Church late last month to farewell comedian Mal Meikle, who died at the age of 76.

Malcolm Jeffrey Meikle made service the hallmark of his life, displaying it as a 50-year member of Rotary, and making it his calling card as a professional show business identity around the world.

Service Mal Meikle was at much at home with members of the Royal Family, as we was with the common man.

Whilst in England, he joined the Rotary Club of Weymouth, and this was to start an association of more than 50 years with the international service organisation dedicated to helping others.

Upon his return to Australia, Mal expanded his business interests, including running his own artists' management business.

He was an accomplished writer, and for a while penned the popular 'Veritas' TV/radio/showbiz column.

Mal's business talents also extended to being General Manager of the Age Suburban Publications group of local newspapers.

He was also a Company Director.

Local

Mal was born in the Melbourne suburb of Brunswick in 1927, with his family soon moving to Footscray and, for a while, living in a tent!

Mal completed his education at Footscray, joining the Royal Australian Air Force in 1943.

If you do your arithmetic, it's easy to see that Mal fibbed about his age so he could serve Australia in the military conflicts of World War II. Mal's Air Force service took him to New Guinea, and he was 'demobbed' in 1946. His patriotism was legendary, exampled by the tribute paid by his fellow members of the Greensborough RSL sub-branch at his funeral service. Also paying tribute was Victorian RSL

Melbourne

Observer

Tribute ■ Melbourne showbiz man Mal Meikle will be missed by many friends

A number of speakers at the funeral service emphasised that Mal's work as an entertainer was often one of service to his fellow man.

He often appeared at functions, without charge, in an endeavour to

assist the disadvantaged, underprivileged, as well as community groups.

Roy Hampson, one of Melbourne television's best-known identities from the days of Channel 0 (now Network 10), paid tribute to our friend.

Roy said many comedian were loathe to appear on TV as they were afraid of losing their 'material' to other artists, or it becoming familiar to the public.

Not so Mal Meikle. He also lent a hand, often at his own personal cost.

Example

Many speakers remembered Mal Meikle as a man who willingly gave his time across Victoria to others.

Leading Rotarians Alan Sartori and Terry Grant spoke of his motto of 'Service Above self'. Business colleagues recalled his fine ethics. A neighbour noted the fine partnership of more than 40 years between Mal and his wife Joan.

Showbiz colleague Gordon McKenzie played an organ and accordion tribute; video expert Tony Ladgrove put together an audio-visual remembrance; soloist John Lidgerwood sang "How Great Thou Art".

The Melbourne Observer joins with the community in extending its sympathy to Joan, son Wayne and the Meikle family on their loss.

Melbourne has lost one of its finest sons.

"Love ya, buddy!

7-DAY TV PROGRAM GUIDE

Saturday, September 21 ABC

6.00 Rage.

9.00 Saturd ay Morning Fly. Including 9.00 Fly Mix.10.30 Fly Toons:T h e Ripping Friends. 11.00 popsui 12.00 Stateline 1 . 0 0 B owls: Australian Indoor Championships. 2nd Semi-Final.

2.00 M ovie.TheYoung Lovers.

3.30 M ovie.The Card.

5.00 Frontier.1788-1830:They Must Alw ays Consider UsAs Enemies.

6.00 Landline.

6.30 Richard Morecroft GoesWild: N avy Seals.

7.00 ABC News.

7.30 BeingApril.

8.25 ABC News.

8.30 The Bill.

9.25 ABC News.

9.30 FabulousWomen:Marilyn.The Ultimate Investigation.

10.25 NightAnd Day 11.15 Spaced 11.40 Rage.

SEVEN 6.00 Scooby DooWhere A reYou? 6.30 Power Rangers:The Lost Galaxy.7.00 Saturd ay Disney.9.00 Short 10.00 Cuts.9.30 Disney’s Hercules.10.00 101 Dalmatians. 10.30 Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show.

11.00 Generation 7.

11.30 The Davis Cup - Live.Tie:Australia v India.

2.00 Sportswatch.

4.30 Sportswatch - Final Score. Live.

With Bruce McAvaney.

5.00 TheWorldA round Us. 6.00 S even News. JenniferAdams.

6.30 Perfect Match.

7.30 M ovie. Honey, I Shrunk T h e Kids.

9 . 3 0 M ovie.The Silence Of T h e L a m b s . Jodie Foster, A n t h o ny Hopkins.

10.00 S even’s Match of the Round.

1.00 M ovie. Deuce Coupe.3.10 Victor Paul.5.10 Punky Brewster.5.35 Video Power.

NINE

TEN

SBS

C31

6.00 Thunderbirds.7.00 The Shapies.

7.30 Goodsports.8.00 Ketchup and theToothbrush Family.8.30 The Gift.

9.00 Outriders. 9.30 Detention.

10.00 Sheep InThe Big City.10.30 GiletteWorld Sport Special.11.00 Special: Life Beyond Earth. 1 2 . 0 0 Burke’s Backyard.1.00 Castaw ay.

2.00 Touched ByAnAngel.3.00 Premiere Special:MissTeen USA 2002.

5.00 EscapeWith ET.5.30 Postcards.

5.59 Keno.6.00 national Nine News.

6.30 australia’s Funniest HomeVideos. 7.00 Body + Soul.

7.30 JudgingA my.

8.30 M ovie.WildThings.

10.45 National Nine Newsbreak.

10.50 Special:Topless ButTasteful.

11.50 Rugby League Finals:Semi-Final No.1.1.50 Late Show With David Letterman.2.50 M ovie. Don’t Look N ow. 4.50 Nine Lives.5.00 Jesse Duplantis Ministeries.5.30 C refloA. Dollar Jr.

6.00 RobotWars 7.00 Horace andTina 7.30 The Big Cheez 9.00 TotallyWild 9.30 Video Hits 12.00 Bright Ideas 1.00 Harry andThe Hendersons 1.30 M ovie:The Swan Princess II 3.00 Totally Footy 3.30AFL Premeirship Season 2002 - Preliminary Finals. Collingwood v Adelaide.

7.00 Ten New s 7.30 AFL Premiership season 2002 P reliminary Finals. Brisbane v Po rt Adelaide.

11.25 SportsTonight. Coverage of all the day’s local,national and international sporting news.

11.55 Video Hits Uncut.

2.00 Home Shopping.

4.00 E Street.5.00 This IsYour Day With Benny Hinn.5.30 Christian CityT V.

5.00Weatherwatch.5.30 Japanese N ews.6.04 Cantonese News.6.25 Mandarin News.6.55 Telegiornale (Italian).7.30 DAS Journal.8.00 Ta NeaTon Ennea (Greek).9.00 Le Journal.9.30 S evodnia (Russian).10.00 Weatherwatch.10.10 Telediario.

11.00 Siaran Berita (Indonesian).

11.30 The Journal.12.00 Business Report.12.30 A rts On Saturd ay: Faust.2.25 A rts On Saturd ay:Australian Biograp hy: Jimmy Little.3.00 Sport:9th IAAFWorld Cup InAthletics.4.00 Sport:National Football League. 4.30 Speedweek.5.30 English Premier League Preview.6.00 The Movie Show.6.30 World News.

7.00 ToyotaWorld Sports.7.30 As It H appened:The Berlin Airlift. 8.30 Pizza. 9.00 South Park. 9.30 Jo h n Saffran’s Music Jambore e. 1 0 . 0 0 M ovie: Baby Cart In Peril.. 1 1 . 2 5 Fetching Shorts.11.58 Soccer. Live English Premier League. 2.00 Close.

12.00The Eastern Footy Show 1.00 G’d ay Maltaussies 2.00 Fishcam 4.30 Asian CommunityTleevision (Chinese) 5.30 Russ Kellet’s Melbourne (Music) 6.00 Melbourne Muso’s (Drum Lesson with Chris Quinlan) 6.30 Jaanz Live At Funkies.Talent Show.

7.00 Sports Page.

7.30 Public Hangings.A rts.

8.00 M Zone.Talent Show.

8.30 Chartbusting 80s. 80s music clips and cover bands hosted by Josie Perrelli.

9.30 Champagne Comedy.

10.00 A dd T V. 31 takes control of your remote control.

10.30 M ovie.The Perils of Pauline.

1947. Comedy/Bio. Betty Hutton.

(Breakaw ay).

12.00 Fishcam.

6.00 Turn ‘Round Australia. 6.30 WorldView. 7.00 Primetime.8.00 Business Sunday.9.00 Sunday.11.00 The Sunday Footy Show. 1 2 . 0 0 Documentary: Island Sand, City Street.With Jamie Dunn.1.00 P aw s ‘n’All.1.30 M ovie.Tweety’s High Flying Adventure. 3.00 Rugby League Finals:Semi-Final No. 2.5.00 Documentary Special: Glenn Ridge Australia’s Lake Eyre.6.00 National Nine News.

6.30 Backyard Blitz.

7.00 Location, Location.

7.29 Keno.

7.30 60 Minutes.

8.30 M ovie. Drop Dead Gorgeous.

10.30 National Nine Newsbreak.

10.35 Dead Man’s Walk. Part 1.

1 . 1 0 L a t e S h ow w i t h D av i d Letterman. 2.10 British Open 2001 Official Film. 3.10 Nightman. 4.05 The Baron.5.00 Family & Friends.

5.30 Skippy -The Bush Kangaro o.

6.00 Mass ForYou At Home. 6.30 HillsongTelevision.7.00 The New A d ventures of Ocean Girl. 7 . 3 0 Thunderstone.8.00 TotallyWild.8.30 Video Hits.10.30 Pepsi Live - Music Show.11.00 Chilli Factor.11.30 Meet The Press.12.00 V8X.12.30 Xtreme 1.30 RPM.2.30 The 2002 Tri-State.1.30 Australian Safari.3.30 Trackside.5.00 Ten News.5.30 SportsTonight.6.00 Premiere.With Antonia Kidman.

6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond.

7.30 AllAussieAdventures.

8.00 Becker.

8.30 M ovie. Mystery Men. 10.55 Ten Late Night News.

11.25 SportsTonight.

11.55 Moto GP. 2.55 Video Hits Filler. 3.00 H o m e Shopping.4.00 life InTheWo rd.4.30 Kenneth Copeland.5.00 Life Today with James Robison.5.30 This IsYour D ay with Benny Hinn.

5.00Weatherwatch.6.00Worldwatch. 6.01 L-ahbarijiet (Malta). 6.30 Pangunahing Balita (Manila). 7 . 0 0 Hungarian New s . 7 . 3 0 V i s ny k Ukrainy. 8.00Weatherwatch.8.55 Kalejdoskop (Polish). 9 . 3 0 Esta Semana (Chile).10.00 Italia news.

10.30 Documentary: Sydney 2000.

11.00 Sport: 9th IAAFWorld Cup Athletics.12.00 Sport:The World Game.2.00 Sport: FootballAsia.3.00 Soccer: European Champions League.4.00Western UnionWorld Football.4.30 Soccer: English Pre mier League Match of theWeek.6.00 The Business Show. 6 . 3 0 World N ews. 7.00 ToyotaWorld Sports.

7 . 3 0 Documentary:A History of Britain.8.35 Documentary:Promises.

9.05 Masterpiece:Two Thirds Sky. 10.05 Cinema Classics: Drama- Unholy Desire (in Japanese,English subtitles).1 . 4 0 Documentary Series: ReturnTo Wonderland.2.25 Close.

10.00 D avid Boske Ministeries.10.30 G’d ay Maltaussies.11.30 TV Sri Lanka.

12.00 Arab TV (Arabic). 1.00 A l Hadara (Arabic). 2.00 Insegna Media (Italian).2.30 Slovenian Magazine (Slovenian). 3.00 Waltzing Matila (Maltese).3.30 HungarianTelevision (Hungarian).

4.00 Tamil TV (Tamil).4.30 Tagata Polenisia (Samoan).

5.00 EntreTodos (Spanish).

5.30 Buone Notizie (Italian).

6 . 0 0 Good Evening Melbourne (Greek).

6.30 Zontas 100% (Greek).

7.00 Asian CommunityTV (Chinese).

8 . 0 0 G re e k C o m munity Affairs (Greek).

8.30 TV Hellas Sunday Greek Movie (Greek).

10.00 C roatian Program (Croatian).

10.30 Bizce Boyle (Turkish).

11.00 Wo rd of Life.

11.30 Fishcam

Sunday, September 22

ABC-TV Pr ograms for Programs Sunda Sundayy, September 22 not to hand, when we went to press.

Check programs at: w w w.abc.net/au/tv/guides/ guides.htm.

6.00 One.6.30 The Bishop,The Chef, andThe Fisherman.

7.00 Wipeout.7.30 L’il Horrors.

8.00 Sunday Sunrise.

9.30 Sportsworld.

10.30 Rex Hunt’s Footy Panel.

11.00 The Davis Cup - Live.Tie:Australia v India.

2.00 Sportswatch - Live.

4.30 Sportswatch -Final Score.

5.00 Rex Hunt FishingAdventures.

5.30 Discover.

6.00 S even News. JenniferAdams.

6.30 Harry’s Practice.

7.00 Surprise Chef.

7.30 Alw ays Greener.

8.30 M ovie.

11.25 M ovie.The Champ.

1.55 NBCToday.

2.55 NBC MeetThe Press.

3.55 Victor Paul.

5.05 Punky Brewster.

5.35 Video Power.

Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 11 ■

TV - Radio - Showbiz

Radio’s Red is in the pink

Tele-Tales

Curious headlines

■ James Packer is part of the family that

Red Symons may well win a permanent radio time-slot.

His ratings have been an outstanding success for ABC 774 (the station formerly known as 3LO), whilst he has been a temporary stand-in for Lynne Haultain.

A TV film-clip on The Insiders (ABC-TV, Sundays, 9am) showed how seriously Symons is taking the breakfast shift.

He was dressed in an impressive suit-and-tie combination for an interview with Federal ALP leader Simon Crean.

That’s a long way from Red’s days of heavy face make-up for performances by pop band Skyhooks.

Radio active

■ Denis O’Kane, Program Director at 3AK3MP, seems to have dropped the idea of going on air once a month to hear listeners’ comments about 3AK. O’Kane had a popular segment with former evening presenter Gavin Wood, who has since been replaced with Yvonne Adele, in the seemingly endless musical chairs that have plagued the station.

Melbourne

Observer

Veritas MELBOURNE’S LIVELIEST TELEVISION-RADIO CRITIC

Bare facts ■ John Wood, aka Sgt Tom Croydon of Blue Heelers, is appearing nude nightly in the stage presentation of The Elocution of Bejamin Franklin.

This was a role made famous by Gordon Chater in the 1990s.

Wood has still been able to maintain his record of appearing in every episode of Heelers (Channel 7, Wednesdays, 8.30pm) In tonight’s episode, an Afghani family struggles to comes to terms with life in country Australia.

When Grace’s son, Daniel (Kane McNay), is in a fight at school, Tom rushes to intervene. But Ben (Paul Bishop)is already there tryingto break up the brawl.

The other boy, Karim (Amene Kai) continues to strike out after the separation - hitting Ben in the face.

25 yyears ears of TV ca ptions captions 1956 may have her alded the beginning of tele viheralded television ffor or most people in this countr as not countryy , but it w was until 25 yyee a rrss later later,, in September 1982, that this n eew w e rraa became accessible to deaf and hear hearii n g alians thr ough the intr oduction of i m p a i rree d A u s t rralians through introduction alian Caption Centr captions bbyy the Austr Australian Centree .

Captions show the entire soundtra ck of aTV pro g ra m ,video, DVD or cinema screening in text format at the bottom of the screen.Captions are coloured and positioned to indicate who is speakingAND also show sound effects and music.

Despite this 20 year history of captions, hundreds of thousands ofAustralians with hearing loss are still missing out on being able to enjoy watchingTV due to lack of awa reness and knowledge of what captions are and h ow to access them.

Robert Scott,Australian Caption Centre CEO says, hearing loss, especially as a result of old age, can be a very stressful and isolating experience, but captions are a free service and even people with mild hearing loss can benefit hugely from them.

D u ring the 20 year history of theAustralian Caption Centre the amount of captioning has increased dra matically and now we need to make sure that more and more people take advantage of it.

Observer TV takes care in compiling programs, which are supplied by the TV stations.

All programming is subject to late changes.

Silence please ■ It may be a re-run, but expect a big audience for Seven’s Saturday movie at 9.30pm: The Silence of The Lambs.

Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins star in this winner of five Academy Awards, based on the best-selling novel by Thomas Harris. It is the story of a FBI agent’s search for psychotic sex-killer.

controls the Nine Network ... and any news about his marriage bust-up with wife Jodhi is sure to generate headlines.

■ However, we’re confused with the Sydney Sun-Herald newspaper’s coverage on Sunday, with a giant front-page photo-story: ‘Jodhi’s Divorce Settlement’. Even the headline on Annette Sharp’s story said ‘What Jodhi Got: cash, house, car and the dog’.

■ Then scroll down to Paragraph 2: “The price placed on 20 months of matrimonial bliss is unknown.”

Down on his luck ■ Steve Vizard and family are expected to

Fox returns ■ Four-time Emmy winner Michael J Fox is comingbackto TV,this time to write and produce a family comedy for America’s ABC network.

The show is to be produced by Touchstone Television and Dreamworks TV, which did Spin City, in which he starred from 1996 to 2000.

It is not known whether Fox, 41, will also appear in front of the cameras.

He recently published a best-selling memoir called Lucky Man and has been spending much time with his wife andfour children because of his battle with Parkinson’s disease.

sell their Roxby Park farm, at Gnarwarre (near Geelong), for $4.5 million at auction on October 25. The 1247-hectare farm was purchased by Steve and his brother Andrew for about $1 million, about 12 years ago.

Suburban Star-Watching ■ Kerry Armstong and Jason Donovan

have been spotted recording episodes of MDA (ABC, Tues., 9.30pm) at Hawthorn Town Hall, Glenferrie Hotel and St James Park. Many of the show’s episodes are filmed at the Caulfield Town Hall.

Head ■ Lana Cantrell, the Melbourne singer

turned New York-lawyer, led the singing of tributes at the September 11 observances in the US last week. Remember when she was ‘engaged’ to Graham Kennedy?

7-DAY TV PROGRAM GUIDE

Monday, September 23 ABC

ograms for ABC-TV Pr Programs Monda Mondayy, September 23 not to hand, when we went to press.

Check programs at: w w w.abc.net/au/tv/guides/ guides.htm

SEVEN 6.00 Sunrise.9.00 The Book Place.

9.30 Wipeout.10.00 Chuck Finn.

10.30 S even Morning News.11.00 Ricki Lake. 12.00 M ovie.A ddams FamilyValues.2.00 Chicago Hope.

3.00 Passions.4.00 The BigA rvo.

4.30 Home Improvement.

5.00 MASH. 5.30 Wheel of Fortune.

6.00 S even Nightly News.

6.30 TodayTonight.

7.00 Home And Aw ay. Dani discovers the truth about Kirsty and Kane.

7.30 The Great Outdoors.

8.30 24: 2.00pm-3.00pm 9.30 Ally McBeal 10.30 The Monday Dump.With Roy and H.G. 11.30 S even Late News.

12.00 Ricki Lake 1.00 NBCToday.

3.00 Victor Paul.

5.10 Punky Brewster.

5.35Video Power.

NINE

TEN

SBS

C31

6.00 National Nine Early News.7.00 Today.9.00 Here’s Humphrey.9.30 Cushion Kids.9.35 Cliffo rd. 10.00 pacific Drive.10.30 Fresh.11.00 National Nine Morning News.11.30 EntertainmentTonight.12.00 D ays Of Our Lives.1.00 YoungAndThe Restless.2.00 M ovie.The True Story of Laura IngallsWilder. 3.00 Spin City.

3.30 Nikki.4.00 D ownload.4 . 3 0 CourageThe Cowardly Dog.5.00 I D ream of Jeannie.5.30 Burgo’s Catch P h r a s e. 6 . 0 0 N a t i o n a l N i n e 6.30 A Current Affair. 7 . 0 0 N ew s6.30 Fraiser.7.29 Keno.7.30 Friends.8.00 Malcolm InThe Middle.8.28 N ews, Crime Stoppers. 8.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire ? 9.30 Band of B rothers. 10.40 Nightline. 1 1 . 1 0 CurbYour Enthusiasm.12.20 Higher G round.1.20 Walker.2.15 EntertainmentTonight.2.45 TheAnanda Lewis Show.3.40 snow y.4.35 Fresh Prince of Bel Air.5.00 48 Hours.

6.00 Aerobics Oz Style.6.30 Cheez T V. 8 . 3 0 In The Box . 9 . 0 0 G o o d MorningAustralia.With Bert New ton.11.00 Huey’s Cooking Adventures.11.30 Ten News.12.00 Ripley’s Believe It Or Not 1.00 Judge Ju ry.

1.30 Beauty andThe Beast.2.30 The OprahWinfrey Show. 3.30 Neighbours.4.00 Totally Wild.4.30 The Bold &The Beautiful.5.00 Ten News.

6.00 The 54thAnnual EmmyAwards.

Hosted by Conan O’Brien from the Shrine Auditorium. Presenters include Charlie Sheen, Jill Hennessy, Bernie Mac, Debra Messing.

8.30 The 2002 Brownlow Medal.

10.30 Ten Late Night News/Sports Tonight.

12.00 Cops.12.30 C over Me.1.30 Off Limits. 2.00 Home Shopping.

4.00 Life InTheWo rd.4.30 Kenneth Copeland. 5.00 LifeToday with James Robison.5.30 This IsYour Day with Benny Hinn.

5.00Weatherwatch.5.30 Japanese N ews.6.04 Cantonese News.6.25 Mandarin News.6.55 Telegiornale (Italian).7.30 DAS Journal.8.00 Ta NeaTon Ennea (Greek).9.00 Le Journal.9.30 S evodnia (Russian). 9 . 4 5 Weatherwatch.10.10 Telediario.

11.00 Siaran Berita (Indonesian).

11.30 The Journal. 1 2 . 0 0 Kalesjdiosko p. 12.30 M ovie:Welcome Back, Mr McDonald (In Japanese, English sub-titles).2.15 Weatherwatch.3.00 TV Ed.3.30 The Business Show. 4 . 0 0 S p o rt: Futbol Mundial.4.30 ToyotaWorld Sports.

5.00 N ewshour with Jim Lehrer.5.50 Hotline. 6.00 GlobalVillage. 6 . 3 0 World News.7.00 Toyota World Sports.7.30 Soccer:English Premier League.8.30 Comedy:CrankYankers.

9.00 Life Support.9.30 World New s Tonight.10.00 Soap Opera: Queer As Folk.10.45 M ovie:Criminal Lovers.12.25 M ovie.2.10 Close.

8.00 M ove It Or Lose It (Exe rcise).

8.30 TheWorld In Focus.9.00 Coronation Street.9.30 Stories OfThe Century.10.00 The Honeymooners.

10.30 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.11.30 Victory At Sea.12.00 Roots:The Next Generation.2.00 M ovie: Murder.3.45 Buster Keaton Shorts.4.00 Fishcam.

6.00 N ew s 6.05 Eastern Newsbeat 6.30 Vietnamese Program (Vietnamese) 7.00 HungarianTelevision (Hungarian) 7.30 Nat Chat 8.00 N ew s 8.05 Access New s 8.30 Pathways 9.00 BentT V 10.00 DharmaT V 10.30 SerbianTV Presents 11.30 RMIT Construction Management. 12.30 Fishcam

6.00 National Nine Early News.7.00 Today.9.00 Here’s Humphrey.9.30 Cushion Kids.9.35 Cliffo rd. 10.00 pacific Drive.10.30 Fresh.11.00 National Nine Morning News.11.30 EntertainmentTonight.12.00 D ays Of Our Lives.1.00 YoungAndThe Restless. 2 . 0 0 M ovie: Big Bully 4 . 0 0 D ownload.4.30 Mike,Lu & Og.5.00 I Dream Of Jeannie. 5.30 Burgo ’s Catch Phrase.

6.00 National Nine New s 6.30 A CurrentAffair 7.00 Fraiser.7.29 Keno.

7.30 Smallville 8.30 CSI:Crime Scene Investigation.

9.30 Stingers. 10.30 E.J.Whitten Legends Game.12.30 Nightline.1.00 Late Show with David Letterman.

2 . 0 0 Codename: Eternity. 2 . 5 5 M ovie.Te rrain.4.40 H o o ked On W ater. 5 . 0 0 Family and Friends.

Diane Craig, Justine Clarke. 5 . 3 0 EntertainmentTonight.

6.00 Aerobics Oz Style.6.30 Cheez T V. 8 . 3 0 In The Box . 9 . 0 0 G o o d MorningAustralia.With Bert New ton.11.00 Huey’s Cooking Adventures.11.30 Ten News.12.00 Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.1.00 Judge Ju ry.

1.30 Beauty andThe Beast.2.30 The OprahWinfrey Show. 3.30 Neighbours.4.00 Totally Wild.4.30 The Bold &The Beautiful.5.00 Ten News.

6.00 The Simpsons.

6.30 Neighbours.

7.00 Seinfeld.7.30 Becke r.8.00 Eve rybody Loves Ray m o n d 8 . 3 0 C rossing Over With John Edward.

9.30 R ove Live.10.30 Ten Late Night N ews. 11.00 SportsTonight. 11.30 Pepsi Live.With Dylan Lewis.12.00 M ovie.Accidental Meeting. 1 . 5 0 Video Hits Filler. 2.00 Home Shopping. 4.00 Life InThe Wo rd. 4.30 Kenneth Copeland.5.00 Life Today with James Robison.5.30 This IsYour D ay with Benny Hinn.

5.00Weatherwatch.5.30 Japanese N ews.6.04 Cantonese News.6.25 Mandarin News.6.55 Telegiornale (Italian).7.30 DAS Journal.8.00 Ta NeaTon Ennea (Greek).9.00 Le Journal.9.30 S evodnia (Russian).10.00 Weatherwatch.10.10 Telediario.

11.00 Siaran Berita (Indonesian).

11.30 The Journal.12.00 Business Report.12.30 M ovie:Stella (In Greek English sub-titles).2.05 Weatherwatch.3.00 TV Ed.3.30 Documentary:Tales From A Suitcase.4.00 Australian Biograrphy: Charles Perkins.

4 . 3 0 Toyota World Sports. 5 . 0 0 N ewshour with Jim Lehrer.6.00 GlobalVillage. 6.30 World News.7.00 Toyota World Sports.7.30 D avid suzuki’s The Nature ofThings.8.30 The Cutting Edge:The Secret war.

9.30 World News Tonight.10.00 M ovie:Slow At Heart.11.05 M ovie: Karan andArjun (From India,in Hindi, English sub-titles).1.55 Close.

8.00 M ove It Or Lose It (Exe rcise).

8.30 Inside Health. 9.00 Upstairs D ownstairs.10.00 I Love Lucy.10.30 Thai OzTalks.11.00 UKToday.11.30 Time OfYour Life. 12.00 The Designers:GianniVersace.12.30 M ovie: Svengali.2.00 London FashionWeek.

2.30 Spies.

3.00 Poldark.

4.00 Fishcam.

6.00 N ew s 6.05 LivingWo rd 6.30 Geelong Newsbeat 7.00 Gunnamatter Outfall 7.30 Fashion Nations 8.00 C New s 8.05 N ewsline 8.30 Hos.Pots 9.00 Living It Loud 9.30 In Pit Lane 10.00 Race Scar 10.30 Asylum 11.00 TomorrowsWorld 11.30 Fishcam

Tuesday, September 24

ABC-TV Pr ograms for Programs Tuesda uesdayy, September 24 not to hand, when we went to press.

Check programs at: w w w.abc.net/au/tv/guides/ guides.htm

6.00 Sunrise.9.00 The Book Place.

9.30 Wipeout.10.00 Chuck Finn.

10.30 S even Morning News.11.00 Ricki Lake. 12.00 M ovie. Dead On The Money.2.00 Chicago Hope.

3.00 Passions.4.00 The BigA rvo.

4.30 Home Improvement.

5.00 MASH. 5.30 Wheel of Fortune.

6.00 S even Nightly News.

6.30 TodayTonight.

7.00 HomeAnd Aw ay.

7.30 Better Homes and Gardens.

8.00 Home Improvement.

8.28 Oz Lotto.

8.30 All Saints.When All Is Lost.

9.30 Marshall’s Law. 10.30 Talking Footy. 90-min Special.

11.55 S even Late News.

12.00 The Outer Limits 1.00 NBCToday.

3.00 Victor Paul. 4.00 Danoz Direct.

5.10 Punky Brewster.

5.35Video Power.

■ Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Melbourne

Observer

TV - Radio - Showbiz

Radio Waves

John-Michael Howson to write for us ‘Pe rsonal Heroes’. N ew Dimensions with George Negus.ABC-TV. Thursday, Sept.19.6.30pm

Heroes seen on ABC-TV ABC-TV’s Personal Heroes looks ata number of people who have achieved remarkable things in their lives, and who have been inspired by a personal hero.

Troy Cassar-Daly is one of Australia's most renowned country music artists and winner of numerous Golden Guitar and Aria Awards. He grew up in Grafton NSW, and because of his part-indigenous background, he's particularly inspired by Jimmy Little and Lionel Rose. One of his biggest hits They Don't Make Em Like That Anymore is all about great Australian heroes from the past. We go on the road with Troy through western NSW to learn what inspires him and why.

At 17, David Hicks was the first teenager to circumnavigate the globe solo. After 264 days at sea he became an instant international celebrity through his remarkable feat. His personal hero and the man who inspired him, is triple solo and around the world yachtsman, Jon Sanders. We meet the two of them sailing together near Perth and find out how their relationship helped create history.

And, three time gold medal winner and Australia's longest serving female hockey player, Rechelle Hawkes, now 35, has had an amazing career, and most of it was inspired by Ric Charlesworth, former coach of the Australian women's hockey team - the Hockeyroos. Recently Rechelle came to national attention by joining other athletes to pose nude to raise money for the last Olympic campaign.

Melbourne

Observer

J

OHN-MICHAEL ‘Hollywood’ Howson will soon join the Melbourne Observer newspaper to bring a weekly look at the doings of Tinsel Town: Hollywood.

John-Michael presents a weekly segment on Bert Netwon’s Good Morning Australia (Channel 10, weekdays, 9am-11am).

He also appears weekly with Ernie Sigley (3AW, weekday afternoon program, 12 Noon-4pm).

John-Michael work as a writer and performer started with Adventure Island (ABC-TV).

He went on to become a regular on The Mike Walsh Show, earning a reputation to snare the big Hollywood interviews.

Today, he lives in West Hollywood, and has become well-known in the US as a screenwriter, as well as producing TV commercials.

He collaborated with David Mitchell to write the Shout stage show, which portrayed the turbulent life ofAustralian rock star Johnny O’Keefe.

His latest production is a tribute to the life of Dusty Springfield, and is expected to open in Australia next year.

‘ARIEL’ keeps an ear out for the latest in Melbourne radio

First class radio Oh, my Lord ■ Hollywood film star Tom Cruise has converted Aussie media mogul to scientology. That’s the wild rumour canvassed in the Sydney newspaper, the Sun-Herald last weekend.

Pretty woman’s disease ■ Superstar actress Julia Roberts may be suffering from a deadly blood disease, according to America’s Star magazine. Her movie career was at its peak, earning her $US20 million per picture – and her personal life was even better.

■ The magazine says that with her July 4 marriage to cameraman Danny Moder, the Pretty Woman had finally become a happy woman and was ready to start the family she had been dreaming of for years.

■ But just days after their wedding, sources claim Danny noticed some disturbing black and blue marks on his bride that she couldn't explain. ‘Friends’ say Julia was worried because she was bruising easily and tired often, so she decided to visit her doctor.

Aussie makes good ■ Simon Baker, the 33-year-old Tasmaniannow starring as The Guardian, has just scored US-wide publicity with a profile story in the national Parade magazine. Baker also starred in E-Street and Home & Away.

■ 3AW’s breakfast buddies Ross Stevenson and John Burns put together some fine broadcasts from New York last week, for a first-hand view of the September 11 observances. But what about the repeated plugs for Qantas (“flying direct from Melbourne to New York”?) Two things: ■ It’s pretty obvious there was an exchange of air tickets for radio spots. Nothing wrong with that. (We hear Ross and John were booked Business Class, but technicians Wes and Stephen were very hopeful about getting upgrades for their economy tickets).

■ Qantas don’t actually fly direct from Melbourne to New York. Their planes stopin Los Angeles. The correction was made later in the week.

Nostalgia on air ■ Community radio station Golden Days Radio now has 1400 members, after being granted a licence 13 months ago. Marketing Manager Geoff Phillips says membership levels are hoped to reach 5000 over the next three years. The station, based in the easternsuburbs, broadcasts on the 95.7 FM frequency.

7-DAY TV PROGRAM GUIDE

Wednesday, September 25 ABC

ABC-TV Pr ograms for Programs W ednesda ednesdayy, September 25 not to hand, when we went to press.

Check programs at: w w w.abc.net/au/tv/guides/ guides.htm

SEVEN 6.00 Sunrise.9.00 The Book Place.

9 . 3 0 Wipeout. 1 0 . 0 0 C h u c k 10.30 S even Morning News.

Finn.10.30 11.00 Ricki Lake.12.00 M ovie. Perry Mason Returns.2.00 Chicago Hope.

3.00 Passions.4.00 The BigA rvo.

4.30 Home Improvement.

5.00 MASH. 5.30 Wheel of Fortune.

6.00 S even Nightly News.

6.30 TodayTonight.

7.00 Home AndAw ay.

7.30 G round Fo rce.

8.28 Wednesday Lotto.

8.30 Blue Heelers.Parenthood.To m finds it no easier second time round.

9.30 Bumps,Biffs & Brawlers #2.

11.30 S even Late News.

12.00 Hill Street Blues.

1.00 NBCToday.

3.00 Victor Paul.

4.00 Danoz Direct.

5.10 Punky Brewster.

5.35Video Power.

NINE 6.00 National Nine Early News.7.00 Today.9.00 Here’s Humphrey.9.30 Cushion Kids.9.35 Cliffo rd. 10.00 pacific Drive.10.30 Fresh.11.00 National Nine Morning News.11.30 EntertainmentTonight.12.00 D ays Of Our Lives.1.00 YoungAndThe Restless.2.00 M ovie:AceVentura:When Nature Calls.4.00 D ownload.4.30 Toonsylvania. 5 . 0 0 I Dre a m O f Jeannie.5.30 Burgo’s Catch Phrase.

6.00 National Nine New s 6.30 A CurrentAffair 7.00 Fraiser.7.29 Keno.

7.30 McLeod’s Daughters 8.30 The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.

9.30 Young Lions.10.30 Anatomy of Disaster. 1 1 . 2 5 Nightline. 1 2 . 0 0 F reakylinks..1.00 Late Show with D avid Letterman.2.00 TheAvengers.

3.00 The Ananda Lewis Show.3.55 The Baron.4.55 Nine Lives.5 . 0 0 Family and Friends. 5 . 3 0 EntertainmentTonight..

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 13 ■

Homemaker

melbourneobserver.com.au

Which came first: cork or screw?

Handy Home Hint ■ GARDEN watering has enormous potential for

saving water. Consider that on a hot summer day about 50 per cent of water is poured onto gardens much of itis running towaste. A well managed lawn should need a thorough soaking only once a week.Don’t poron water faster than the soil can absorb it, or more thanit can absorb. Don’t scalp yourlawn.Leaving grass a little longer encourages deeper root growth. Always water in the early morning or evening to lessen loss by evaporation. Check hose fittings and taps for leaks and turn off sprinklers securely. Plant natives that are less sensitive to drought.Mulch, pebbles or bak chips will help reduce evaporation.

Wine Quote ofTheW eek There are people who build up huge cellars, most of which they have no hope of drinking. They are foolish in over-estimating their capacity but they err on the right side and their friends love them. Len Evans.

Late Pr essings ...

Pressings Seppelt Chalambar Shiraz 1999. Cellar to 2007.

About $18. KKKK Victorian regions. Medium red, edge of purple. Spicy, plummy nose. Full grippy palate, plenty of grapes in the bottle as the saying goes. Generous flavours of ripe blackberries nicely enhanced with oak. Lovely as a main course accompaniment and with potential for the cellar.

Q ‘Hi Martin, I may, in my haste, have missed something here, but, which came first, the cork or the corkscrew?

If it was the cork, how did they plan to extract it from the bottle?

If it was the corkscrew, what did they envisage it would be used for?

I'm probably unimaginative but I can't think of any use for a corkscrew other than ripping out a cork or performing prefrontal lobotomies so it could suggest that they put the cork in the bottle without a definite idea of how they would eventually remove it?

Not a bad plan if you intend to lie down the vintage until somebody invents a means of opening it but a definite problem if, like me, you are impetu-

By Martin Field E-Vine marteno@ozemail.com.au Readers who wish to support E-vine’s ongoing publication may subscribe annually - for a modest $20.00. Cheques/money orders in Australian dollars, payable to Martin Field, can be sent to: Martin Field. PO Box 226, Fairfield. Victoria 3078.

A GST receipt will be issued upon payment

ous and can't hold out for more than a day or two, which is why my wine cellar consists of a pile of neckless bottles and some punctured wine casks ...premature ejaculation comes to mind...Or did they invent the Champagne bottle and its cork first?

Yours thirstily, Bruno of Brighton

A Well Bruno, I like to think it was the corkscrew that came first.

I remember reading somewhere that in prehistoric cave paintings there is a representation of a simple double helix corkscrew among a few naïve paintings of bison and phallic imagery.

The pre-historian who analysed the artwork suggested that the helix was simply an attempt by a bright young Neanderthal to get his or her head around a few prototypical ideas on recombinant DNA theory.

“Au contraire!” I thought at the time.

This was obviously an antediluvian Leonardo in search of the yet uninvented cork.

I rest my case.

- Martin

E-vine is a free, not-for-profit newsletter distributed (every 2-3 weeks) to wine enthusiasts, wine media and the food and drinks industry. Letters and input are welcome – they may be edited and links may be inserted. Freelancer Martin Field has written about wine since late last millennium, is a wine educator and has never been accused of taking booze too seriously.

Food

& Wine

Angoves St Agnes 7 Star XO Very Old Brandy About $55 KKKK½ Medium amber. Rich spirited bouquet showing aged characters and lovely oak. Powerful and mouth-filling flavours, sweet spirit, smoothed by twenty years and more in the cask. Finishes like velvet, with clean, nutty and persistent aftertaste. Quality is easily on a par with any premium world brandy.

Diamond Valley Pinot Noir 2001. Cellar to 2005.

About $25. KKKK Yarra Valley. Ruby red. Both youthful and savoury on the nose, hints of strawberry. Softly tannic mouthfeel supports solid varietal flavours of dark cherry and strawberry. Long, dry aftertaste will suit substantial food. d’Arenberg The Stump Jump Grenache Shiraz Mourvedre 2001. Cellar to 2005 About $10 KKK½ McLaren Vale. This one was presented masked to the Tuesday lunch table. Comments from eight lunchers included: “Attractive nose and fruit, Soft finish. Appealing nose, nice balance. Lovely wine, good acid, sangiovese? Nutty fruity taste, round.

Good strong tannins. Sweetness is cloying.” I thought it was a likeable, soft fruity style made for relatively early consumption.

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■ Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Serial: Ivanhoe - Part 1 www.melbourneobserver.com.au Sir Walter Scott initially wrote novels with Scottish subject matter, but Ivanhoe, published in 1819, was the first to deal with English subject matter (although critics such as the historian Freeman questioned the continued hostility between the Saxons and Normans upon which Scott bases the story).

The novel is historical and deals with the reign of Richard I. Wilfred of Ivanhoe becomes a favoured subject of Richard during the crusade, but as the familiar story continues John, brother of Richard, plans to depose the king assisted by immoral Norman noblemen.

Events The novel chiefly concerns two events: the great battle at Ashby de la Zouch where Richard defeats the knights of John with the assistance of Ivanhoe; and the siege of the castle of Torquilstone where the beautiful Rebecca has been imprisoned by the Normans.

The latter involves Locksley (Robin Hood) who aids King Richard in the conflict. Subsequently, with Rebecca still hostage to an appalling Templar knight, Sir Brian de Bois-Guilbert, Ivanhoe has to show courage and nobility in confronting the Norman enemy. Eventually, Ivanhoe and his sweetheart Rowena are brought together by King Richard. The novel was one of the first to attempt to deal with subject matter from the Middle Ages in a historically accurate manner - even if it does not always manage to achieve this aim.

Melbourne

Observer

Chapter 1 Thus communed these; while to their lowly dome, The full-fed swine return’d with evening home; Compell’d, reluctant, to the several sties, With din obstreperous, and ungrateful cries.

Pope’s Odyssey

I

n that pleasant district of merry England which is watered by the River Don, there extended in ancient times a large forest, covering the greater part of the beautiful hills and valleys which lie between Sheffield and the pleasant town of Doncaster.

The remains of this extensive wood are still to be seen at the noble seats of Wentworth, of Warncliffe Park, and around Rotherham. Here haunted of yore the fabulous Dragon of Wantley; here were fought many of the most desperate battles during the Civil Wars of the Roses; and here also flourished in ancient times those bands of gallant outlaws, whose deeds have been rendered so popular in English song.

Such being our chief scene, the date of our story refers to a period towards the end of the reign of Richard J., when his return from his long captivity had become an event rather wished than hoped for by his despairing subjects, who were in the meantime subjected to every species of subordinate oppression.

The nobles, whose power had become exorbitant during the reign of Stephen, and whom the prudence of Henry the Second had scarce reduced to some degree of subjection to the

crown, had now resumed their ancient licence in its utmost extent; despising the feeble interference of the English Council of State, fortifying their castles, increasing the number of their dependents, reducing all around them to a state of vassalage, and striving by every means in their power to place themselves each at the head of such forces as might enable him to make a figure in the national convulsions which appeared to be impending.

T

he situation of the inferior gentry, or Franklins, as they were called, who, by the law and spirit of the English constitution, were entitled to hold themselves independent of feudal tyranny, became now unusually precarious.

If, as was most generally the case, they placed themselves under the protection of any of the petty kings in their vicinity, accepted of feudal offices in his household, or bound themselves by mutual treaties of alliance and protection to support him in his enterprises, they might indeed purchase temporary repose; but it must be with the sacrifice of that independence which was so dear to every English bosom, and at the certain hazard of being involved as a party in whatever rash expedition the ambition of their protector might lead him to undertake.

On the other hand, such and so multiplied were the means of vexation and oppression possessed by the great Barons, that they never wanted the pretext, and seldom the will, to harass and pursue, even to the very edge of destruction, any of their less powto the laws of the land.

A

circumstance which greatly tended to enhance the tyranny of the nobility and the sufferings of the inferior classes, arose from the consequences of the Conquest by Duke William of Normandy.

Four generations had not sufficed to blend the hostile blood of the Normans and Anglo-Saxons, or to unite, by common language and mutual interests, two hostile races, one of which still felt the elation of triumph, while the other groaned under all the consequences of defeat.

The power had been completely placed in the hands of the Norman nobility by the event of the battle of Hastings, and it had been used, as our histories assure us, with no moderate hand.

The whole race of Saxon princes and nobles had been extirpated or disinherited, with few or no exceptions; nor were the numbers great who possessed land in the country of their fathers, even as proprietors of the second, or of yet inferior classes.

The royal policy had long been to weaken, by every means, legal or illegal, the strength of a part of the population which was justly considered as nourishing the most inveterate antipathy to their victor.

All the monarchs of the Norman race had shown the most marked predilection for their Norman subjects; the laws of the chase, and many others equally unknown to the milder and more free spirit of the Saxon constitution, had been fixed upon the necks of the subjugated inhabitants, to add weight, as it were, to the feudal chains with which they were loaded.

At court, and in the castles of the

great nobles, where the pomp and state of a court was emulated, NormanFrench was the only language employed; in courts of law, the pleadings and judgments were delivered in the same tongue.

In short, French was the language of honour, of chivalry, and even of justice, while the far more manly and expressive Anglo-Saxon was abandoned to the use of rustics and hinds, who knew no other.

Still, however, the necessary intercourse between the lords of the soil, and those oppressed inferior beings by whom that soil was cultivated, occasioned the gradual formation of a dialect, compounded betwixt the French and the Anglo-Saxon, in which they could render themselves mutually intelligible to each other; and from this necessity arose by degrees the structure of our present English language, in which the speech of the victors and the vanquished have been so happily blended together; and which has since been so richly improved by importations from the classical languages, and from those spoken by the southern nations of Europe.

Look to our next week’s edition for Part 2 of the 'Ivanhoe' story

by Sir Walter Scott

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 15 ■

Media Flash TV • Radio • Press • New Media • Showbiz

Latest Media Jobs ■ The Colac Herald (Vic.), a tri-weekly newspaper, wants to hire a graded journalist. PO Box 21, Colac, 3250. Closing date: Friday, September 20.

■ Thomson Learning Australia, Southbank (Vic.), seeks to appoint an experienced Editor for its secondary language teaching materials. 102 Dodds St, Southbank. Closing date: Friday, September 27.

■ Monash University is offering 30 cadetship opportunities with Australia's largest media companies.

A six-week course is completed in conjunction with the University of New South Wales, with a number of sales positions then offered by the companies. www.mediasalescadetship.com.au ■ Paul Brant, Indigenous Employment CoOrdinator at the ABC, has information on TV Presenter Researcher Cadetships. (02) 8333 1089. recruitment@your.abc.net.au Closing date: Oct. 4.

■ The Herald Sun Real Estate section is hiring an Advertising Sales Co-Ordinator. Applications to Julie Narduzzo, Herald & Weekly Times Ltd. narduzzoj@hwt.newsltd.com.au Closing date: Friday, September 20. The company is also hiring an Accounts receivable/Collections Officer, as well as offering Apprenticeships in Lithographic Web Offset Printing at its Port Melbourne plant.

■ Melissa Simmons, Herald Sun, wishes to recruit an Advertising Sales Team Leader, to work at Southbank. (03) 9292 2264.

■ Paul Thomas's Star suburban newspaper (South East Newspapers), based in Melbourne's north-west suburbs, is looking to hire an Advertising Telemarketer. Level 1, 34 Amis Cres., Keilor East. star@senews.com.au ■ Allison Willie, Fairfax Community Newspapers, Melbourne, is hiring an outbound casual telephone sales person. (03) 9238 7631.

■ Robert Hutchinson, ABC, has details on a 12month contract position with the ABC at Brisbane, for a Technical Production Manager. Phone (02) 9333 2520.

melbourneobserver.com.au

$101,000 grant for gay station ■ Joy Melbourne 94.9 FM, a community radio station, has won a $101,000 grant to assist ‘same-sex attracted people’.

■ Col Allan, the Australian Editor in charge of Rupert Murdoch's New York Post, sure has things boppin' in the Big apple.

His New York Post has a cover price of 25 cents, and 32 pages of its 92page editions are full of advertising revenue. Competitor Daily News, with a $1 cover price, is down to 48 pages - with just two pages of advertising.

■ While we're in New York ... quite a giggle that the New York Post's famous 'Page Six' column now appears regularly on Page 10.

■ The Wall Street Journal is extending its brand through a network of many Sunday newspapers throughout the States. The

paper provides a WSJ Sunday section for those papers. Wonder whether we'll see Fairfax provide a similarly branded Financial ReviewSunday page or section for its Sun-Herald (Sydney) and Melbourne Sunday Age papers.

■ The Australian this week starts a 'Worldwide' section. The Monday feature will include material from The Economist,The Times of London, The Sunday Times, The Spectator and New Republic.

■ Beyond International, producer of Stingers and Hot Auctions, has posted an annual net loss of $22 million.

■ Graham Reaney has been appointed as a nonexecutive director of PMP. He is a director of St George Bank and the Australian Gas Light Company.

- Media Flash

More Media Jobs ■ Janet Champness, Office Manager, Weber Shandwick, seeks an Account Director. jchampness@webershandwick.com ■ Gerri Dibsdall, at Neutral Bay, seeks a senior Copywriter for a Sydney ad agency. $130,000. PO Box 317, Neutral Bay, 2089.

Media Flash is Australia and Asia-Pacific's daily e-newspaper for the media industry. Check the headlines at www.long.com.au or take out a subscription at www.mediaflash.candela.com.au for the special annual price of $195.

Visa, Mastercard, Bankcard and American Express accepted.

Pith & Point ■ AOL Time Warner may remove the AOL section of its name. AOL revenues have plummeted since the dot.com boom, and share prices have fallen. The future of the company's Chairman Steve Case is uncertain.

■ Professor David Flint, head of the Australian Broadcasting Authority, has lost a dispute with the Australian Taxation Office over the tax deductibility of a $25,000 retirement benefit.

■ John Singleton has tripled the revenue at his 2GB radio station, according to an interview he has given Philip Luker of B&T Weekly. “I thought we’d double the costs (by signing Alan Jones) - any fool can do that - but it would take us a year to double the audience, then we’d double the revenue. We doubled the cost, and before Alan started on 2GB, we doubled the revenue. Then we doubled the audiences are the revenue has tripled. Macquarie’s revenue is almost 300 per cent upon last year and the market is up 2 per cent. So someone’s hurting.”

■ The Daily News, New York, has shown some chutzpah in part ofits coverage of the September 11 anniversary. It sent its reporters (armed with prohibited items) through airport security. 14times at 11 different airports. Not one was caught.

■ Ned Zeman, Vanity Fair writer, may regret his series on the mafia. He has been threatened at gunpoint. LA Times writer Anita Busch found a dead fish on her car bonnet.

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■ Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

The Funny Page

melbourneobserver.com.au

With 'Laughing Larry' Lawrence

Old jobs never die, they just become a joke How all careers come to a finish

■ Lawyers are disbarred.

■ Ministers are defrocked.

■ Electricians are delighted.

■ Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.

■ Drunks are distilled.

■ Alpine climbers are dismounted.

■ Piano tuners are unstrung.

■ Orchestra leaders are disbanded.

■ Artists' models are deposed.

■ Cooks are deranged.

■ Dressmakers are unbiased.

■ Nudists are redressed.

■ Office clerks are defiled.

■ Mediums are dispirited.

■ Programmers are decoded.

■ Accountants are discredited.

■ Holy people are disgraced.

■ Pastry chefs are deserted.

■ Perfume makers are dissented.

■ Butterfly collectors are debugged.

■ Students are degraded.

■ Electricians are refused.

■ Bodybuilders are rebuffed.

■ Underwear models are debriefed ■ Painters are discolored.

■ Spinsters are dismissed.

■ Judges are disappointed.

■ Vegas dealers are discarded.

■ Mathematicians are discounted.

■ Tree surgeons disembark.

■ Old numerical analysts never die, they just get disarrayed.

■ Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.

■ Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.

■ Old professors never die, they just lose their class.

■ Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

■ Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.

■ Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

■ Old preachers never die, they just ramble on, and on, and on, and on....

■ Old printers never die, they're just not the type.

■ Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.

■ Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.

■ Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

■ Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.

■ Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.

■ Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.

■ Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

■ Old skateboarders never die, they just lose their bearings.

■ Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.

You Wouldn’t Read About It Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 per cent of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

■ Old Soldiers never die. Young ones do.

■ Old steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.

■ Old students never die, they just get degraded.

■ Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.

■ Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

■ Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation.

■ Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.

■ Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip

"The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it."

-Elaine Agather

They Said It ...

"Why don’t you write books people can read?"

- Nora Joyce, to her husband James "Education is a companion which no misfortune can depress, no crime can destroy, no enemy can alienate,no despotism can enslave. At home, a friend, abroad, an introduction, in solitude a solace and in society an ornament.It chastens vice, it guides virtue, it gives at once grace and government to genius. Without it, what is man? A splendid slave, a reasoning savage."

-Joseph Addison

Sleeping on the job Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk 15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

14. "This is just a 15 minute powernap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

13. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper" 12. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

11. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

10. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance" 9. "Actually I'm doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned it at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress."

7. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me?

I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

6. "The coffee machine is broken...."

5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"

2. "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands." and the number one thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk ...

"Amen"

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■ Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 18, 2002

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Melbourne Obser Observv er - W ednesda ednesdayy, September 18, 2002 - Page 19 ■

Good Sports

Grandstander Hammerheads cash

melbourneobserver.com.au

‘Footy Show’ knocks 7, 10 T

he Footy Show, hosted by Eddie McGuire and Sam Newman with Trevor Marmalade, scored a mammoth ratings win in Melbourne last week The Channel 9 show, which featured interviews with embattled Carlton president John Elliott and new Blues coach Dennis Pagan as well as an exclusive interview with Wimbledon champion Lleyton Hewitt, was so dominant it outrated Seven and Ten combined.

The Footy Show averaged 563,000 viewers between 9.30pm and 10.30pm compared to 275,000 for Ten's Law & Order:SVU and a paltry 198,000 for Seven's Dark Angel.

Earlier in the night Getaway smashed Seven's The Club and Ten's Dawson's Creek.

Getaway averaged 545,753 viewers to be the night's No. 1 program.

The Club limped into 17th with 277,419 and Dawson's Creek slumped to 24th with 202,032.

Sports Briefs ■ SIREN TIME. Have a look at the new edition of More Than A Century of Grand Finals, edited

by Jim Main and Rohan Connolly (at right).

Their coverage includes photographs, swap card reproductions, quarterby-quarter scores, accompanied by a scoreboard panel.

■ The Pepsi Max Team, featuring Australia’s No. 1 freestyle motocross rider, will tour this december with Rumba, the world’s biggest pop festival. The team will add a taste of extreme sports mayhem to a massive pop line-up which includes Pink, Shaggy, Natalie Imbruglia and Kelly Osbourne.

■ In preparation for the Max Team demo tour - which showcases the best of skateboarding, inline skating, BMX and freestyle motocross – highly respected freestyle motocross racer and freestyler Jono Porter completed 30backflips on his RM250 dirt bike over a gap of 45 feet.

■ Porter joins less than a handful of riders in the world who have completed the stunt. He is the first Australian to do it on a 250cc motorbike, using a metal upramp and jumping such a distance.

■ ‘My role with the Max Team is a dream come true and I want to push myself to be the best for the team,’ says Porter, who developed his signature trick ‘The Max’ in honour of the team. ‘I’ve seen a couple of guys do backflips on TV, but wanted to take it to the next step doing it on a metal up-ramp and wooden down-ramp over massive gaps and – hopefully – the Max Team vert ramp.’

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■ Eddie ‘Everywhere’ McGuire, Presidentof the Collingwood Football Club, says the Hammerheads Football Club has been a worthwhile experiment for the Western Region Football League. The club creation of Channel 7 Producers Tim Watson and Craig Hutchison has apparently reaped about $500,000 for the suburban league.

Out of bounds ■ ‘Grandstander’ understands that Police will not lay charges against the Collingwood FootballClub player allegedly found behaving in a provocative way in Clifton Hill earlier this month. A woman claimed that the Magpies player was masturbating in a car.

Grand Finals book ■ Jim Main and Rohan Connolly have released a new edition of their More Than A Century of AFL Grand Finals. Two pages are devoted to each of105 matches. Enquiries: Bev Friend, 9379 0087.

■ PLAYER LISTS. Some of the Grand Final players covered include Dick Lee, Ivor Warne-Smith, Gordon Coventry, Norm Smith, Dick reynolds, Jack Dyer, John Coleman, Ron Barassi, John Nicholls, Royce Hart, LeighMatthews, Terry Daniher, Peter Matera, Wayne Caery and Mark Bickley.

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