A sexguide for teenagers
A few ! o f n i d juicy
Why do young pe
ople have sex?
The six greatest caus es for early sex amon g teenagers in Sout (according to LoveLiv h Africa e’s chief executive offi cer, Dr David Harriso n) are: · Group pressure (come on guys, you are your own person!). someone, there is only · Force (if you are forced by one word for it: rape).
· Sex for money (you definitely have enough talents
It is oral sex. The boy stimulates the girl’s genitals with his tongue. Teenagers call it “muff”. When a girl gives oral sex to a boy, it is called a blowjob or a “BJ”!
and therefore don’t have to sell your body). · A low self-esteem. (Ev ery teenager struggles with this problem – you are not the only one. Se x definitely doesn’t make you Superman!) ·
ones talking. sucks? It’s your horm life o, (S . ism im ss Pe rted out, ese hormones are so th ys da e es th of e And on forever!) going to feel like this so relax. You are not
A lack of communicatio n from your parents. (Yes, sometimes it is jus t as freakin’ difficult for them. Give the guys a bre ak and make it a little bit easier for them to talk to you.)
A woman is born with 400 000 –
600 000 egg-cells that
mature with the rest of her body (but that doesn’t mean you have to start making children immediately. There is still more than enough time!).
r not – o t i e v e Beli
Afr of South
A total of of the teenagers who already had sex had more than one previous sex partner.
According to the YoungAfricaLive Youth Sex Survey
10% of our country’s youth votes with President Jacob Zuma for polygamy! And it is even worse . . .
xually a e s s i h t u
16% ad sex after they 14% after they
And a total of used alcohol and useddrugs.
n – 500-million With every ejaculatio believe this . . . sperm-cells! You have to
A total of of the participants in the YoungAfricaLive Youth Sex Survey believe that one out of four men in South Africa rape women because “too many women are
wearing provocative clothes”.
According to a Youth Risk Behaviour report by the National Medical Research Council in of 13-19 year-old 2008, almost
teenagers said that they already had sex and 13% of them reported that
they did it for the first time when they were were younger than 14.
A teaspoon of semen contains approximately five
e) (gamma-hydroxybutyrat Drugs such as Rohypnol mixed into a drink – it is and ketamine are easily what , but it makes you forget transparent and tasteless happens!
Be careful –it is possible for a girl to get pregnant
even if a penis wasn’t in her vag
ina. If the semen is
spilled outside her vagina, she can Remember that sperm-cells are Ryk Neethling a serious go!
still get pregnant.
so fast that they can give
boy masturbates (satisfies himself with the hand!). The appropriate word for this is simply “masturbates”. BJ: This is a shortened version of the word “blowjob”, The words that you may hear . . . The sexual is often described with extremely crude words, and which is when a girl gives oral sex to a boy. It is also you will often hear many of these words, especially at school. called oral sex, but the correct, appropriate word for this is “fellatio”. Some of them are too disgusting to publish, but here are a few meanings to help you not to feel totally dumb if you hear Clit: A shortened version of the word “clitoris”, which it . . . just remember that this is not the kind of language that is the small part on the forefront of your vagina which, you are supposed to use. It is robust, disgusting and teenagers when it gets stimulated, gives you an orgasm. The correct name is just “clitoris”. who use this kind of language make intimacy common. Horny: This is when you get carried away by your hormones Muff: It is when a boy stimulates a girl’s genitals with his tongue. The right word for this is “cunnilungus”. and your body has a craving for sex (the correct way to Home run: Penetration of the penis into the vagina, in describe this is that you are turned on). other words full-out sex. “Draadtrek”: This Afrikaans word’s meaning is when a
By ELMARI CRAIG + ANNELIZE STEYN
The basics about Be clever about your body!
Puberty is the time for growing up and nowadays teenagers are earlier physically and sexually mature than ever before. Be prepared for the changes. Remember, some of this information may sound strange to you and even gross, but God carefully planned and meant it like this. Your body is unique, normal and wonderful!
The first sign of puberty in a girl is when her nipples become small buds and her breasts are swelling out. You are actually getting breasts, wow! One breast can develop faster than the other one and the two breasts may possibly never look the same. Don’t be worried. After the breast buds stadium the whole breast and areola (the brown area around the nipple) start to enlarge. Your breasts can be sensitive because the milk glands are growing fast, so feel free to drink a pain pill. After a year or two the form of the breasts start to show, but it takes approximately four years for the breasts to get a nice, full shape and for the nipples to become bigger and darker. A few hairs may also appear around the nipples. As the fat around your breasts, shoulders and hips are now appearing fast to give you pretty feminine curves, you may begin to get little cracks or stretch marks – put on a nice body cream or oils. The best way to have your breasts looking at their best is to wear a bra, something that will also help that you don’t get hanging breasts due to stretched ligaments later on. Some girls’ nipples look like they are dent in instead of making a tip to the outside. Such inward or reversed nipples will later automatically begin to stand out more. You can also do an exercise to help this on by
taking the areola between your thumb and index finger and pulling it slightly forward. A girl’s nipples are very sensitive for cold or sexual excitement. Then they form hard little buds. It is absolutely normal. Luckily a bra also helps to hide this so that it doesn’t look like you are smuggling with jelly tots! Remember that you never have to be ashamed because your breasts start to develop or because you have to start wearing a bra. It is all part of God’s unique plan to let you develop into a beautiful, healthy young woman. A few months after your breasts started to develop, the hair on your labia gets longer and darker. The hair under your arms appears later – nearer to the time of your first menstruation. When the hair around your vagina begins to show when you wear a swimming costume, it is a good idea to cut, wax or shave it. Now you will also start to sweat more and the sweat won’t smell nice. An antiperspirant will help you to sweat less. Deodorant smells nice, but it will not prevent you from sweating. Also keep the hair under your arms short by waxing or shaving it. If you wax right from the start, the hair will eventually get less, softer and lighter. A girl’s oil glands now also get active. Your skin and hair will now get oilier and you may start to struggle with pimples. Take good care of your skin, use sun block and keep your skin clean – the sooner you get a good skin care routine of washing, refreshing and moisturising, the less wrinkles you will have one day. And remember that you can rather go to bed without brushing your teeth than going to bed with make-up! Eat healthy and drink enough water to ensure a beautiful skin. The correct name for a girl’s external genitals is the vulva. On the inside of the vulva there is an opening between the thin lips (the labia minora). This opening stretches like a tunnel approximately 5-8 centimetres into the body. This tube is very elastic and has mucous
membranes on the inside. It is called the internal genitals or the vagina. On top of the vagina is the womb, where a baby grows and develops. The ovaries and all the egg-cells are situated on both sides of the womb. It is connected to the womb with two tubes, the fallopian tubes, one on each side. The fertile egg-cells move through these tubes into the womb. Between the womb and the vagina is the cervix. The cervix gets thicker when a woman is pregnant to protect the baby. The cervix unlocks when the baby is born. And then the vagina stretches big enough for the baby to be born! The cervix releases a fluid that always keeps the vagina slightly wet. It keeps the vagina clean and helps with lubrication when a person has sex.
You will see the external genitals, the vulva, when you sit on the side of the bath and use a hand mirror. The big labia or labia majora, which is covered with hair, folds down the small labia or labia minora. They cover and protect the vaginal opening and the clitoris. The clitoris is on top of the vulva (for which you don’t need to be ashamed) or groove, and is a solid little pop-out covered with a piece of skin. The clitoris is just as sensitive as the penis for sexual stimulation and can also swell up and gets stiff. The clitoris will get more sensitive during sex and will eventually make contractions. These contractions, which can also be contractions of the womb and the whole body, are called an orgasm. Most women only get an orgasm if the clitoris is stimulated directly or indirectly. It is unbelievable that the clitoris has no medical function. It was created specially by God for a woman’s pleasure – just another piece of evidence that sexual joy is part of His plan for us.
A woman urinates through a separate hole just underneath the clitoris in front of the vulva. This means that there are actually two openings, the vaginal opening and the urethral opening. The bladder is situated like a balloon, protected by the pelvic bone and partly underneath the womb. When you stretch the labia minora open with your fingers, you will see the virginal membrane or hymen (also called the “virgin”). It is a soft membrane that can be stretched substantially and that covers a young girl’s vagina partially. There are usually a few holes in the hymen through which normal secretions and menstruation can flow. When a woman has sex for the first time, this hymen is torn by the penis that penetrates the vagina. Therefore some people refer to it as “he broke her virgin”. For most women it is not painful when they have sex for the first time and a person doesn’t always bleed.
Puberty begins around the age of 12 years for boys. Where the first sign of growing up with girls is that their breasts start to develop, a boy will see that his testicles are starting to enlarge. Suddenly your body becomes bigger, your voice starts to change and there is hair everywhere! But it may bother you that all the girls in the class are getting taller than you. This is absolutely normal – they start to develop earlier and the chance is good that you will catch up with most of them. This is an uncertain time and you will possibly compare yourself with your friends – and won’t like what you see. You will see that some boys start to get pectoral muscles. Others will get broad shoulders, while some boys are thinner and shorter. Remember that puberty starts with each person according to his own schedule, so you don’t have to rush. Eat healthy and be active. This will help you to be strong and fit. You will see as soon as you reach puberty that all kinds of hair start to grow on your face (around your chin area), on your cheeks and above your lips. Hair also grows on your chest, under your arms and even down under in
your private parts. You will also begin to sweat and won’t smell too good, so get yourself an antiperspirant that will help to keep these smells at bay. Wet dreams are also now becoming a reality. An erection is what happens when your penis is pumped full of blood and gets hard. During puberty the lots of testosterone causes a boy to get erections often. You can barely look in the direction of a pretty girl! Often boys wake up with an erection in the morning (morning glory) because the testosterone levels are then at their highest. If you get an erection when it will cause you an embarrassment, like when you look at the pretty girls on the beach, it is the best to quickly think about something completely different – like your mathematics test for which you still have to study! Erections can happen any time with you. Some days you will get many of them and other days nothing at all. It all depends on your age, your sexual maturity, your activity levels and even the amount of sleep that you get. It is absolutely normal and healthy – unless you have pain (in which case you should rather go and see the doctor). As you go through puberty, your larynx will also get bigger and your vocal cords will lengthen and thicken. So, your voice gets deeper and while your body is getting used to this change, your voice might “crack” or “break”. It only lasts for a few months. All right, let’s talk openly about your penis! The male sex organs consist of the penis (not totty or little mister, and a snake and a bird can be found in a game reserve!) and the testicles (not eggs or balls). The testicles can be found in the scrotum. Sperm-cells are produced in the testicles. A 13-year-old boy’s testicles already produce about 200-million sperm-cells per day. Normally the one testicle is hanging a little bit lower than the other one. The testicles are the most sensitive part of the male anatomy and therefore a person would think that they will be situated inside the body, like a woman’s ovaries. But there is a very good reason why they are situated outside the body. It is because the healthy production of sperm is very dependent on the temperature of the testicles. The temperature must be kept relatively constant and it must be lower than the normal body temperature. The skin of the scrotum is smooth and
thin when it is quite hot. However, when it is cold, the testicles are drawn closer to the body and the scrotum skin becomes thicker and more wrinkled for extra protection. The chance is good that you will see your buddies naked, maybe after a rugby game or in the hostel. It is normal for guys to secretly look at each other’s penises to determine if the size of theirs is normal. But it is not accurate! Most boys are worried about the size of their penises. The size of your penis doesn’t determine if you will have a good sex life one day. Also remember that when you look at another guy’s penis you see the whole organ, but when you look at your own from above you only see two thirds!
Don’t worry if your one testicle is hanging lower than the other one or if the veins on your penis are standing out very prominently. It is normal. You also don’t grow boobs if your nipples are often sore. It only lasts for a short time and is hormonal. Sometimes it is called “stonies” and it happens because the hormones that stream into your body so quickly cause the glands behind the nipples to start swelling up. It is also normal if it only happens in one breast. These sore and swollen nipples disappear within 2-18 months. Suddenly the girl in the class who always irritated you becomes sexy. And soon you can think about nothing else except her and how she looks under her school dress. What are you doing with all these cravings and hormones? Manage it. Stay active. Sport is a good outlet. Try to develop a healthy attitude towards your sexuality. Don’t fear your erections and don’t be ashamed of it. Feel free to talk to an older person, like your dad, brother or a good friend, about it. Also remember that it is completely healthy to masturbate and get rid of your sex cravings in this way – as long as masturbation doesn’t become an obsession with you.
MYTH OR TRUTH:
You won’t get pregnant if he takes his penis out in time.
MYTH: There is a myth going around that a girl won’t get pregnant if a guy doesn’t ejaculate in her vagina. So, if he just puts it in a few times, you are safe. Unfortunately this is wrong! There is something called pre-ejaculation, where fluid comes out of the penis befóre a guy actually ejaculates. This fluid also contains sperm-cells, which swim fiercely in order to get to that egg-cell. So, if any semen around the penis gets into contact with any veins of the vagina, there is a risk for pregnancy.
How can I pick up the virus?
HPV is a dangerous sexually transmittable virus. INTIEM asked Dr Elna Rudolph to tell us more. What is HPV? The human papilloma virus (HPV) is a very common sexually transmittable infection. It belongs to a family of more than 100 kinds of viruses. HPV 16 and HPV 18 are responsible for ± 70% of all cancer types in the cervix, vagina, vulva, penis and anus. HPV 6 and HPV 11 cause ± 99% of all warts in the anal-genital area.
I am a teenager. Why should I be afraid of HPV?
HPV is transmitted very easily. The virus is transmitted from skin to skin just by touching someone. There doesn’t have to be penetration during sex to get the virus. You can get the virus through any form of sexual contact – oral sex, genitals against genitals, hand against genitals, or sex with penetration.
What diseases are caused by HPV?
It depends on the kind of HPV: cancerous lesions on the genitals and anus, cancer of the cervix, as well as warts on the genitals.
At what age can I get HPV? You can get the virus at any age.
Can only girls get the virus or can boys get it as well? HPV affects boys and girls, men and women. Although boys are the primary carriers of the virus, they often don’t have any symptoms of the virus and won’t even know that they have it.
I am not sexually active. Am I safe?
No, the virus is primarily transmitted from skin to skin. The virus is very common and can live up to 48 hours outside the body.
In 98% of cases the virus is transmitted from skin to skin. It can also be transmitted through oral sex or sex with penetration. In 2% of cases the virus can also be transmitted from a mother to her child, through examination gloves, underwear or mirrors.
How will I know if I picked up HPV?
HPV often has no symptoms. It depends on the kind of HPV, but some people get ugly genital warts and others have no symptoms, although they are carriers of the virus. In most cases a person will only know that you picked up the virus when you get an abnormal pap smear or genital warts. The virus causes damage over a long period and your body has the wonderful ability to get rid of the virus by itself. Don’t get paranoid if you suspect that you already have it – but do everything in your ability to prevent it.
How can I protect myself against HPV?
You can start by getting inoculated. Currently two vaccines are available to protect you against HPV. The first one is Cervarix, which is manufactured by GSK. This vaccine will protect you against HPV 16 and HPV 18. The second vaccine is known as Gardasil and it is manufactured by MSD. Gardasil is what we call a quadrivalent vaccine. This means that the vaccine protects a person against four kinds of HPV (HPV 16, 18, 6 and 11). HPV 6 and HPV 11 are the two types that are responsible for genital warts. Always use a condom during sex. Unfortunately condoms are not 100% safe against HPV – this virus can also be found in other areas than the genitals. Remember to go regularly for pap smears if you are sexually active – even if you already had the inoculation. For more info please contact: 0860 HPV HPV (0860 478 478) or visit www. everything-i-can.co.za