Broke Girls ’

Memories of family members triggered in different ways

When family members pass on, what remains are memories.

I remember years ago going to Lake Berryessa with a bunch of friends from church and having a great time playing in the water, eating and hanging out. A few of us played dominoes at one of the picnic tables and all of a sudden it hit me that the three people who I played bones with in the past – my brother Ken, my mom and my dad – were all dead.

Memories can be triggered by many different things – some not so obvious.

My brother Ken

1. What’s black and white and read (and orange) all over?

My brother Ken had a black belt in annoyance. One of the things he pioneered was waiting until you were deeply invested in reading the newspaper – back when you opened it up and it was as big as a clipper ship’s sail – and he would come up behind you and chuck an orange at the middle of the paper. You would not believe the startling ruckus – and anger – that caused.

2. The lil’ ol’ lady from

Pasadena’s 8-track player. In the mid 2000s, I bought a vintage portable 8-track player from Ed’s Record Rack in Suisun City. It was absolutely pristine and works perfectly. It not only had the box, it had the Styrofoam insert, the instructions, the carrying strap – everything! It’s like it belonged to the fabled li’l ol’ lady from Pasadena who only drove her car to church on Sundays.

It reminds me of Ken, not only in the obvious way that he had a similar portable 8-track player, but because he also kept things nice for a long time. When I cleaned out his house after he died, I was surprised to find a toy robot he got for Christmas when we were kids that was almost as good as new.

My dad

1. The Black Rim

Gang. Back in the ’70s at the Fairfield Church of Christ, me and my brothers would be in our Vista Cruiser station wagon waiting for our parents to stop yakkin’ with folks and take us to Smorga Bob’s already. Our dad would be yukkin’ it up with a bunch of gentlemen that included John Gibson, Willie Taylor, Don Clark and others. One day we noticed that they all were wearing similar glasses. We started calling them – never to their faces – the Black Rim Gang. Well, I have now joined the gang. If I want to be reminded of my dad, I just don my specs and look into the mirror. 2. Cold Shoes. The act of opening the refrigerator door and staring at the contents for a while when hungry – we’ve all done it, admit it – can sometimes bring back a memory of my pops. He was running late for work one day and couldn’t find his shoes. When he got flustered he didn’t cuss, much less as a deacon in the church take the name of the Lord in vain. Instead he would say, “Jiminy Crickets!” Only he actually wouldn’t even say that. He would say, “Shiminy Christmas!” It always made me and my brothers want to laugh, but we knew if he'd uttered his substitute swear word, it was not chuckling time. Anyway, he was looking behind pillows on the couch and all around the house and suddenly opened the fridge and said his catchphrase. My mom said that his shoes probably weren’t in there and we almost exploded trying to hold in our laughter.

tony Wade The last laugh

3. Steamin’. My dad used to love to go to the steam room at the Travis Air Force Base gym and hold forth. This was before the ubiquitous use of cellphones and headphones when people actually talked to each other. Well, I enjoy going to the Dover Avenue In-Shape gym and pretending I am in an Instant Pot now and it always reminds me of my dad. But unlike him, I am one of the beheadphoned folk and do not hold forth.

Courtesy photo Black Rim Gang member Tony Wade wearing the vintage 1987 Whitesnake T-shirt given to him by his sister-in-law Co that reminds him of his late mother.

My mom

1. Scattergories, NFL

Kickoffs and the World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band.

What do a board game, NFL kickoffs, The Rolling Stones and Katie Lou Tanner Wade have in common? Let me explain. My mom was not a fan of the rock music I loved. I remember once I was listening to The Police song, “Can’t Stand Losing You,” the chorus of which repeats the title (I can’t, I can’t stand losing) over and over and she burst into my room and said, “Who are these people that can’t stand Lucy? I thought everybody loved Lucy!”

One song she did like though was “Start Me Up” by The Rolling Stones. It’s often used by NFL games right before the kickoff. I loved to hear her singing along to it. So yes, The Rolling Stones remind me of my mom.

The game Scattergories is where you have about a minute to write down unique answers to different categories all beginning with the same letter. Once we played and one of the categories was, “Stones/Gems” and the letter was W. I wrote down "Watts" for Charlie Watts, the Stones’ drummer. They all denied me that one point and I'm still bitter over it. 2. A vintage Whitesnake t-shirt. My sister-in-law, Co, over the years has shipped me all kinds of awesome gifts including a Bob Ross sticker book and this electronic game called Scrabble Flash that I love. Not too long ago she sent me a vintage 1987 Whitesnake T-shirt with lead singer David Coverdale on the front. Now there is no way she could have known that that old rock shirt would remind me of my mom, but it did. Their huge hit, “Here I Go Again,” was another tune that I liked back in the day that my mom did as well. So when Tawny Kitaen, who had been married to Coverdale and famously danced on top of cars in the “Here I Go Again" video,” died recently, it (kind of awkwardly) reminded me of my mom.

Now, if I was in the In-Shape steam room listening to Whitesnake on my headphones, I could get a family remembrance twofer. I could pull off the hat trick if I could somehow use my 8-track player in there.

Reach Fairfield humor columnist and accidental local historian Tony Wade at toekneeweighed@gmail.com.

bright spot

CorreCtions & CLAriFiCAtions poLiCy

The Benicia Fourth of July Picnic in the Park, hosted by Benicia Main Street, was canceled this year. There were no events scheduled in Benicia for the Fourth of July. An article published Friday stated otherwise. In addition, City Park is not located at 90 First St. The park, along with the Fire Department, is bounded by First Street, Military West, Second Street and West K Street. We regret the errors. n n n

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