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Wanting to be happy Dear Annie: I have been married for over 20 years to a woman who has been a good mom, but not a woman I am in love with. I care about her tremendously, but I have lost all interest in her romantically. She refuses to work to help with the rising cost of living and impending college tuition for two older teenage kids. She doesn’t really keep a clean house. I do as much or more of the cooking — probably as I prefer to. She wears T-shirts and, half the time, no makeup when I get home. She just doesn’t seem to care about pleasing her husband. I’ve asked about counseling for years, but she blames me for not going. “You wouldn’t do it,” she says. I want to live the rest of my life happy and in love. The thought of living without being in love for the rest of my life is terrifying. I’m a romantic and need that spark. Then along comes another woman. Yeah, same old story, I know. There is absolutely nothing going on between us, but I admit I wish there were. So, I can see what’s out there that I want to be with. But I’m married and feel obligated to that person who helped build a family. To say I am conflicted is an understatement. I know if I left, then there is zero guarantee and little chance of the other woman being interested. Yet, to be able to try to find happiness, to give that a chance, that is starting to seem worth it. My marriage has been going through this for 15 of the 20-plus years. It’s not new. So being in a highly emotional state, I keep thinking I need to choose between finding passion or remaining in stale obligation. I need advice. I don’t want to hurt my wife. I don’t want to hurt my kids, although I think they are old enough to deal with me leaving. I want to be happy. — Conflicted Dear Conflicted: Marriage is a two-way street, and I’m sure your wife is not thrilled about being married to someone who is highly critical of her. She can probably sense that you don’t find her
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attractive romantically and is sad about that. It could be part of the reason that she seems to have given up looking nice for you or cooking you a nice meal. Marriage is a give and take, and it sounds like neither of you is giving, and you’re both unhappy. At this point, marriage counseling would be the first step to take. When your wife says about marriage counseling, “You wouldn’t do it,” is she right? If so, look in the mirror. You were close during the first five years of your marriage. With professional help, the two of you might rekindle your early romance. It will take a lot of work, but I can’t think of anything more important. If during your counseling you decide that you don’t want to make it work, then set her free. No one should have to be in a relationship where the person outwardly says they are not “in love” with their spouse. But remember that there is a difference between love and lust.
year, and we’re expecting a baby. But ever since we’ve known that I was expecting, it’s like our whole relationship turned upside down. He thinks that I’m cheating on him behind his back with his cousin, which I’m not. Every month until today, we would always have arguments over the same conversation, and I really cannot handle it anymore. I can only take so much. I just want our relationship to go back to how it was before, when we were happy. — Distraught Dear Distraught: You are wise to write in now, because my guess is that, if left unaddressed, his jealousy will only worsen once the baby arrives. Try to show him more affection and reassure him that you love him. Perhaps the pregnancy has triggered some old hurt and insecurities from his past, leaving him to feel vulnerable and act out. Be understanding, and try to talk to him. It sounds like he might be a Lost intimacy little obsessed or stuck on the idea Dear Annie: My wife and I of you with his cousin. If the talkhave been married coming on 19 ing doesn’t seem to go anywhere years. We have two kids. Since we and he is almost harassing you, it had children, she never seems to is time to seek professional help want to be intimate with me — so from a therapist. ——— much so that she went to her genDear Annie: I have two beautieral doctor for some help. That ful children, a daughter and a son. was three years ago. She finally figured things out I raised my son, while my daughand determined that it was stress- ter’s father raised her. My son does everything for me, and he is marrelated. I take care of the kids during ried and has a 4-year-old boy. My COVID-19 and work full time. daughter is a pharmacist, just Not sure I can stay in this mar- divorced, and has no children. She riage; in fact, I am close to done. never comes to see me — no birthday gifts or Christmas presents. I am very lonely. Any advice? I’m 60 and in not-so-good — Sexless in Seattle Dear Sexless: You have two health. I feel her dad probably children to think about. Don’t talked about me over the years. I give up before you have tried left when she was 9. But I still marriage counseling. Making a had my visitation rights. Do you life-altering decision is never a think I’m a bad mom? — Bad Mom good idea during a global panDear Bad Mom: I am not here demic. Everyone’s stress levels are way up. Instead, use this as an to judge whether you are a bad opportunity to find a good mar- mom or not. It sounds like you riage therapist and work on your probably made some not-so-great decisions when your children marriage. were young. You are 60 now, and ——— Dear Annie: My boyfriend and a lot of time has passed. You can’t I have been together for almost a go back in time, but instead of blaming your daughter’s father for your daughter’s behavior toward you, take responsi$700 a month bility and 132 E Street, Suite 320 repair it. Admit your Davis CA 95616 mistakes, and Office has a furnished waiting just tell her room shared with 3 other offices how much you and is wheelchair accessible. love her and
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Nothing wrong with morning routine Dear Annie: I am a woman in my 80s, and I like to sit and enjoy my morning daily cup of tea looking out of the upstairs window of my home. The window faces the street and has Venetian blinds that I can adjust horizontally. One day, a male neighbour in his 40s was walking to his car that was parked on the street near the front of my house. He looked up at me and shouted at me to leave my window. I was surprised that he even noticed me and that I was yelled at. I have been nervous to look out my window ever since. Is window watching OK? — Window Watching Dear Window Watching: Don’t let some overly paranoid and rude man ruin your morning ritual. Assuming you don’t have a pair of binoculars and are not disturbing anyone, keep looking out your window and enjoying your tea. No one has the right to take that away from you. In fact, one could ask what that man was doing looking up at your window. All that said, in the interest of getting along, you could also introduce yourself and show him this column. ——— Dear Annie: After four years of a long-distance relationship, my fiance just moved from his home state to mine. He retired, and although he is financially stable, we still have to stay on a budget to be able to afford our living expenses, future travel and entertainment. We budget how often we can go out to dinner each week. We even budget our drinks. Because I have lots of single girlfriends who love him and are excited for me, every time we go out to meet them for a drink or meal, they don’t budge on getting their wallets out when the bill comes, and my fiance feels obligated to get the whole bill so as not to look cheap. However, we are now in a position of having to go out less frequently or lower the quality of restaurants we go to. Do I need to stop seeing my girlfriends or just meet them alone, where we can split the bill like we used to before he moved here? I just don’t know how to not sound cheap but make sure he isn’t always stuck with the bill. — Frustrated at the Single Gals Dear Frustrated: Congrats on this new chapter of your love. If your friends love him that much, why are they treating him like a sugar daddy? I understand if he wants to be generous and pick up the bill a few times, but it is sort of rude of your friends to not even
budge on getting out their wallets. Regardless of gender, no one likes to give when they feel the party they are giving to expects it and doesn’t appreciate it. Perhaps you should just stick to girls’ night out and go back to splitting the bill. If you want your friends to get to know your boyfriend more, maybe have them over to the house, or wait until they find their own boyfriends and double date.
From passive-aggressive to patient & adventurous
Dear Annie: I have been married for 34 years. Like all couples, there have been ups and downs. We have seen several counselors over the years to work with us in tough times. During those times, we still had intimacy in our marriage. We are now going on 15 months with no intimacy at all. She just says she can’t because she does not feel connected to me. We are going to counseling, and she said she was too overwhelmed with doing our finances alone. So, I got involved in that. Then she said that I could not make any sexual advances; it had to come from her. I have tried to make none, but I have slipped a few times. Now, she says that my drinking every day is our problem. So, I have cut back to a few cocktails on my off days. Still, I see no changing on her part. I hate to think of starting my life over again without her, but I want a partner who wants me. I’m a good person and husband. I’ve been loyal, do my own laundry, most of the house cleaning and, until this year, all the yard maintenance and house maintenance, all while working 50 hours a week and advancing at work. I’m at a loss of what else to do. — No Matter What I Do Dear No Matter: Clearly, your wife is making excuses and being passive-aggressive instead of just telling you why she doesn’t feel connected to you. Marriage takes work and tough conversations. Next time you are in counseling, express all of your concerns to her and make sure you tell her how she makes you feel when she puts you off. You both deserve to have a loving and connected marriage. After 34 years of marriage, it is worth figuring out how to reconnect and add that spark back into your lives. Some ideas for reigniting intimacy in your relationship could be creating a date night, being spontaneous or adventurous, sharing the things that you love about each other rather than blanket “I love yous” or even taking a road trip together. These are just some actionable suggestions, but the real work is going to come through going to therapy, talking through your feelings and gaining a better understanding of each other’s needs.
Your Puzzle Solutions Sudoku 1
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Have you lost a pet? Do you want to help shelter animals get back home? Please join the Yolo County Lost and Found Pets Group on Facebook at facebook.com/ groups/yolopets
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PUBLIC NOTICE FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Prime Development Land for Sale Filed: October 1, 2020 FBN Number: F20200816 SEALED BID SALE 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Suggested Asking Price: $3,500,000 Classic Business Solutions 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of 3031 2nd Street, Davis, CA 95618; Principal Place of Business in California. ±6.56 acre development parcel, Business is located in Yolo County. APN: 071-403-010. 19 Yolano Drive Woodland, CA 95776 For information, showings, and/ 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), or bid package, contact Jim Gray or Residence Address, State, and Zip Nahz Anvary, who may be reached at Muhammad Ahmad Waheed 916.947.5142 (Jim) / 916.284.8385 (Nahz) 19 Yolano Drive or jim.gray@kidder.com / nahz.anvary@ Woodland, CA 95776 kidder.com, of Kidder Mathews. 4. Business Classification: Bids to be delivered to The Regents of Individual the University of California, c/o RESS 5. Beginning Date of Business: The 1111 Franklin St., 6th Floor, Oakland, Registrant(s) commenced to transact CA 94607-5200. Attn: Brendon Lydon, business under the fictitious business no later than 5:00PM PST on Thursday, name or names listed above on: N/A “I declare that all information in November 12, 2020. Public bid opening will be on Friday, November 13, 2020 this statement is true and correct.” at 10AM. (A registrant who declares as true 1009 information which he or she knows to be 10/14, 10/21, 10/28 false is guilty of a crime.) PUBLIC NOTICE 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Muhammad Ahmad Waheed NOTICE OF SALE-LIQUOR LICENSE 10/7, 10/14, 10/21, 10/28 1005 Pursuant to BPC 24049.5 and RTC 6796, the California Department of Tax & Fee Administration (CDTFA) will sell the following ABC License during a public auction held at 3321 Power Inn Road, To SUBSCRIBE, please call 530-756-0826. Sacramento, CA 95826 on November To place an AD, email nhannell@davisenterprise.net 11th at 10:00 am, unless the liability is paid by the licensee. 47-453679 (Yolo) For LEGAL NOTICES, email legals@davisenterprise.net Minimum bid $30,000. Contact CDTFA at For CLASSIFIEDS or OBITUARIES, email (916)309-8779 classads@ davis enterprise.net or obit@davisenterprise.net 10/14, 10/21, 10/28 1013
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that you want a relationship with her. But don’t expect her to take care of you. Remember, you are the mother.
PETS
Public Notices ORDER TO SHOW CAUSE FOR CHANGE OF NAME Case Number: CV2020-1121 1. Joanna Rometsch Mathias filed a petition with this court for a decree changing names as follows: Maximus Frederick Rometsch Mathias to Jack Maximus Frederick Mathias 2. THE COURT ORDERS that all persons interested in this matter shall appear before this court at the hearing indicated below to show cause, if any, why the petition should not be granted. NOTICE OF HEARING Date: November 3, 2020 Time: 9 a.m. Dept: #9 Room: N/A The address of the court is 1000 Main Street, Woodland, CA 95695 3. a) A copy of this Order to Show Cause shall be published at least once a week for four successive weeks prior to the date set for hearing on the petition in the following newspaper of general circulation, printed in this county: The Davis Enterprise 315 G Street, Davis, CA 95616 Date: August 18, 2020 Stephen L. Mock Judge of the Superior Court 9/30, 10/7, 10/14, 10/21 994
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2020 B5
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: October 5, 2020 FBN Number: F20200823 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) STOARCEY RESEARCH 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 506 Marina Circle Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Stuart Andrew Ross 506 Marina Circle Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Individual 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: July 27, 2011 “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Stuart A. Ross 10/14, 10/21, 10/28, 11/4 1018
FICTITIOUS BUSINESS NAME STATEMENT Filed: October 2, 2020 FBN Number: F20200819 1. Fictitious Business Name(s) Spotlight 2. Street Address, City, State and Zip of Principal Place of Business in California. Business is located in Yolo County. 2312 Lassen Place Davis, CA 95616 Mailing address: 105 E Street Suite 2A Davis, CA 95616 3. List Full Name(s) of Registrant(s), Residence Address, State, and Zip Opinion Interactive LLC 2312 Lassen Place Davis, CA 95616 4. Business Classification: Limited Liability Company 5. Beginning Date of Business: The Registrant(s) commenced to transact business under the fictitious business name or names listed above on: November 9, 2015 “I declare that all information in this statement is true and correct.” (A registrant who declares as true information which he or she knows to be false is guilty of a crime.) 6. Signature of Registrant(s): Joshua Newman, CEO Opinion Interactive LLC 10/21, 10/28, 11/4, 11/11 1026