ParentingNH July 2019

YOUNG WRITERS CONTEST, PAGE 4 • HAMPTON BEACH 21+ FUN

JULY 2019

COMPLIMENTARY

Get ready for

baby

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INSIDE features

8

First-time parent FAQ Pregnant? Planning to be? Local experts answer your questions.

18 Yes, you will sleep again Personalized sleep plans are helping parents and child get their zzzz’s.

JULY 2019 24 Traveling with your infant Tips on how to get there from here.

28 Headed to a baby shower?

Check out our picks for a unique gift.

31 Car seat guide What you need to know — from buying to installing.

departments ON THE COVER: Meet Iris Brindley, 10 months. Photo taken by mom and photographer, Kate, of Kate Brindley Photography at home in New Hampshire in June 2019. Find more of her work at www.kate brindleyphotography. com.

3 From the editor’s desk

4 The short list 6 I want that 38 Dad on board 40 House calls 42 Out & about 44 Time out

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| JULY 2019 1

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150 Dow Street, Manchester, NH 03101 (603) 624-1442, fax (603) 624-1310 www.parentingnh.com SUBSCRIPTION: ONE YEAR (12 ISSUES) $15 ©2019 MCLEAN COMMUNICATIONS, LLC

ParentingNH® is published by McLean Communications, 150 Dow St., Manchester, NH 03101, (603) 624-1442.

All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

The publisher assumes no responsibility for any mistakes in advertisements or editorial. Statements/opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect or represent those of this publication or its officers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication, McLean Communications, LLC.: ParentingNH disclaims all responsibility for omission and errors.

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from the editor’s desk HOW TO ENSURE THAT YOUR FAMILY HAS A GREAT SUMMER Enjoy free fun. Towns and cities are putting their best foot forward when it comes to entertaining families during the summer. Manchester and Nashua offer free musical performances and movies all summer; you’ll find free things to do in Hampton Beach on any given day, including the annual weeklong Children’s Festival in August; even smaller communities such as Milford and Lebanon have an impressive slate of free fun. For a ton more ideas, get your copy of PNH ’s Family Summer Fun Guide at your favorite pickup location or view it online.

Be aware. Maybe you’ve noticed there are more vehicles with out-of-state license plates in your area. It’s not an illusion — millions of tourists will visit New Hampshire this summer.

So naturally the highways and turnpikes are going to be more crowded, with many drivers who might not know where they are going opting to take that highway exit at the last second.

This time of year it’s more important than ever to keep your eyes on the road, have more patience and keep the speeds down. Along those lines …

Watch out for motorcycles. Even when wearing helmets, they are the most vulnerable in a crash. It’s harder for them to stop suddenly, navigate around road hazards and they aren’t surrounded by airbags.

Read. Find time to relax and get lost in a novel, check out a new cookbook or listen to a book on your phone. Start at your local library where they’ll be happy to give you a few reading suggestions and tell you how to access digital books, magazines and more for free.

During the summer, libraries are also great places to take the kids for summer reading fun.

Most importantly, if you are reading, your child will be reading, too.

Do nothing. Do absolutely nothing. It’s hard for busy parents to find those moments when they can just be. Send the kids out to play, drop them off at a summer program or wait until the fall asleep. Be still, even for a few minutes and revel in the peace and quiet. You are allowed.

Don’t feel guilty and don’t sweat it. Parents often feel the pressure to make sure their kids have the summers of their lives — every summer. They hear about all the “fun” other parents have lined up for their kids. But what summers do you remember? It could be the summer you spent in your neighbor’s pool or the one when you slept outside in the backyard and had a campfire or maybe it was the summer you visited Grandma. There was time to make your own fun.

Your children won’t necessary remember all the money you spent and all the activities that they did. What they will remember is being happy and the good times they had with family and friends.

contributors • JULY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS has worked as a journalist and a marketing director, and now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Mom to Everett, she has lived on the Seacoast for the past 20 years.

MARY ELLEN HETTINGER, APR is an award-winning reporter, editor and writer, and accredited public relations professional. She has won multiple awards from the Parenting Media Association and is a longtime contributor to ParentingNH. BILL BURKE has been writing the gold-award winning Dad on Board column since 2008 and is the author of the Mousejunkies series. When he isn’t at Disney World, he’s the managing editor for custom publications for McLean Communications in Manchester.

MELANIE HITCHCOCK, EDITOR

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the short list

CELEBRATE THE FOURTH Check out PNH’s list of the state’s best July Fourth celebrations, events and fireworks. And the fun doesn’t stop after July 4. If you haven’t yet planned out what you’ll be doing with your kids, check out the online Guide to Summer in NH. Also, if you have not picked up a copy of ParentingNH ’s 2019 Family Summer Fun Guide at a Welcome Center or at a regular distribution spot, you can view the digital edition online.

Write-on! It’s time for the Young Writers Essay Contest ParentingNH is holding its fifth-annual essay writing contest. If you are a Granite State kid who loves to write, we want to put the spotlight on you.

Winners will be chosen from three age groups: age 7 and younger; age 8-11, and age 12 and older. A winner from each of these age categories will have their essays published in the September issue of PNH. Additionally, an overall winner will be selected — their essay will also be published and they will be photographed for ParentingNH ’s September issue.

The essay topic is: What is your favorite book? Tell us about it.

Why is it your favorite? Why is it important and meaningful to you?

What do you like most about it? Do you have a favorite character?

Essays will be judged on clarity, thoughtfulness and creativity.

The deadline is Wednesday, Aug. 7. Winners will be contacted via email or phone on Thursday, Aug. 8; a photo shoot will be scheduled for the winner shortly after they are notified.

for even more fun ParentingNH.com

facebook.com/ParentingNH

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twitter.com/ParentingNH

CONTEST RULES: Essays must be 100 to 300 words.

Submissions must be received via email or postal mail by Wednesday, Aug. 7, at 5 p.m. Email to editor@ parentingnh.com with Writing Contest in the subject line; or mail to ParentingNH Editor, McLean Communications, 150 Dow St., Manchester, NH 03101.

All essays must include the child’s name, age, grade level, name of school they attend (or home school), parent’s name, address and phone and email. For more information, go to www.parentingnh.com.

Children of Yankee Publishing Inc. or McLean Communications employees are not eligible.

BUILDING ON HOPE’S NEXT PROJECT IS THE NASHUA PAL YOUTH SAFE HAVEN

A young visitor engages with the new Children’s Museum exhibit that opened in June.

COURTESY PHOTO

Lights! Shadow! Action!: New exhibit open at the Children’s Museum The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire in Dover has opened “Lights! Shadow!

Action!”, an interactive classroom incorporating low-profile interactive technology that can quickly transform a classroom to an exhibit space with a flip of the switch.

When visiting this new exhibit, guests will be able to create colorful designs with Everbright, an interactive LED light wall for all ages with a 4-foot by 4-foot grid of hundreds of adjustable color dials that rotate endlessly in either direction through the color spectrum. Guests can also explore color mixing with light at the Additive Mixture “Shadow” exhibit, which shines red, green and blue LED lights onto a white wall to create a white light. When any of those light beams are interrupted, it creates a different color shadow on the wall.

For more information, go to www.childrens-museum.org.

The New Road Project is marching for reform to state’s child protection system The New Road Project, a new organization advocating for full reform of New Hampshire’s child protection system, is hosting the March for Children and Families on July 27 from 12:303:30 p.m. in front of the State House in Concord. All ages are invited to attend this event meant to celebrate families and demonstrate that New Hampshire citizens demand swift change to the state’s child protection infrastructure.

The event will include a march around downtown Concord, invited speakers representing different aspects and

Building on Hope, an organization of New Hampshire volunteers, including designers, architects, suppliers and builders who have completed more than $4.1 million in community-supported renovation projects, announced that the Nashua Police Athletic League will receive major renovations to its facilities in 2020.

The Nashua PAL Youth Safe Haven provides a safe environment for Nashua’s at-risk youth to gather outside of school; approximately 20 percent of both felony assaults and heroin overdoses in Nashua occur within one mile of Nashua PAL. Nashua PAL’s free afterschool and summer programming is designed to help children and teens build leadership skills through educational experiences, mentoring and the development of trusting relationships between Nashua’s at-risk youth and Nashua police officers. More than 400 Nashua youth are cared for each year at Youth Safe Haven at no cost to families.

Building on Hope and Nashua PAL are seeking help from the community including tax-deductible contributions, a commitment to volunteer or donation of materials. For more information, go to www.buildingonhope.com.

experiences within the child protection system, a vigil to honor those children and families negatively impacted by the system, and a community resource and activity fair to bring resources to families. Planned activities include free family photography sessions, free car-seat safety checks, craft projects, and free trauma-friendly activities and exercises for families to try hosted by a professional counselor and occupational therapist. Learn more at: www. thenewroadproject.org.

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I want that

Summer’s here

Sole support EEGO flip flops feature heel control and arch support, so they help reduce the strain on your arches and maintain heel position when your foot hits the ground.

The flip flops were designed by a physiotherapist and podiatrist with comfort in mind. Several colors available for both men and women.

Available at www.thegrommet.com; $29.95

Kick it

A hat with something extra

Keeps cool then collapses

Wallaroo Hat Company will have your mini-mes looking their best while keeping their scalp and skin safe from the sun’s harmful rays. Made to block 97% of UV rays, Wallaroo’s UPF 50+ hats have been granted the Skin Cancer Foundation seal of recommendation. The fashion-forward hats come in a variety of styles and colors for any kiddo’s style.

The Tahoe leak-proof collapsible cooler by Clevermade can hold up to 50 cans, but then folds down to a three-inch layer. Equipped with a built-in bottle opener, outer pockets, and durable handles, this cooler keeps drinks cold up to 36 hours.

Snap to collapse it flat and avoid a bulky container when you return from a trip.

Available at www.wallaroohats.com; $25-$29

Available at www.thegrommet.com or Amazon; $29.95

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Rukket’s Backyard Kickball Set — complete with bases, ball, cones and pump — is portable and easy to set up. Play in the backyard or basement. High visibility bases and foul cones make the sport easy to understand for anybody wanting to join the fun.

Available at www. rukket.com; $39.99

Bicycle art Hook Chalktrail to a bike then get riding. Draw figure eights, wavy meandering paths, perfect circles, and fascinating designs by retracing the same route again and again in succession.

Create a masterpiece on sidewalks, parking lots and streets.

Available at www.fatbraintoys.com; $19.95

Practice time.

Practice time.

Show time.

Show time.

College saving time. time.

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First-time parent

FAQ Pregnant? Planning to be? Local experts answer your most popular questions

BY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS

F

or first-time mothers, the months leading up to childbirth include a long to-do list and oodles of advice from wellmeaning family and friends. From planning the perfect nursery to tying up loose ends at work, it’s hard to know what to prioritize. Here are some tips to help you plan everything from choosing a hospital to taking care of yourself to making sure you spend your money wisely on baby goods.

WHERE SHOULD I GIVE BIRTH?

Depending on your health insurance carrier, you will likely have some latitude in deciding where to give birth. Most hospitals in New Hampshire have labor and delivery units, and depending upon where you live, you might be able to choose between hospitals only a few miles apart. But how do you choose and when should you decide?

Christine McKenney, RN, BSN, CLC, CCBE is the perinatal education coordinator and a lactation counselor at Catholic Medical Center in Manchester. She’s worked as a prenatal, postpartum, and NICU nurse at CMC since 2012, and has two

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‘‘

It’s important for families to do their research and find out all of the information they can about local hospitals.

’’

— Christine McKenney, RN, BSN, CLC, CCBE

children with one on the way. She encourages all expectant families to tour a few hospitals, even if they think they want to deliver at a particular hospital.

“It’s important for families to do their research and find out all of the information they can about local hospitals and what their care practices are,” she said. “If you are a first-time parent, you often don’t know what’s out there and what you want. That’s why it’s important to know what your options are early in your pregnancy journey.”

CMC offers a free 90-minute tour to expectant parents; families can meet staff, explore birthing suites and ask questions.

Some questions to ask, according to McKenney, include: • What prenatal offices/providers deliver at this hospital?

• Do you have midwives and doctors who deliver? What about residents or students?

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• What are your practices for moms wishing to labor and birth in positions other than in bed? Can moms labor in the tub?

• Do you encourage rooming in (staying with your baby at all times)?

• Is there ample lactation support?

• Do you have a labor and delivery doula program or allow doulas if families hire them privately? (Doulas are non-medical personnel who provide support to women during labor and delivery.)

• Do you encourage skin to skin immediately after birth? What about for cesarean births?

• What is your policy on support people during labor/birth?

What about visitors during our stay?

• What do you provide us with during our stay? What should we bring?

• How many patients does a labor nurse at your hospital typically care for at one time? (Ideally there should be one nurse per mom during labor.)

It’s important for families to understand that where they choose to receive prenatal care determines where they will be able to deliver their baby.

“If a family wants to give birth at a particular hospital, they will need to establish prenatal care at an office that delivers at the hospital they desire. Often moms have been seeing a gynecologist for years, but when they get pregnant and start receiving obstetrical (prenatal) care, they later learn their midwife/doctor only has delivery privileges at a specific hospital,” McKenney said.

For example, the following practices deliver at CMC: Women’s Wellness and Fertility Center and The Pregnancy Care Center (both affiliated with CMC), and the obstetricians, midwives, and Dartmouth-Hitchcock OBGYN-Bedford.

DO I NEED TO TAKE CHILDBIRTH EDUCATION CLASSES? We’ve all seen the TV sitcoms that show couples on a mat breathing heavily through “labor pains” in childbirth class. But what would be helpful to learn before you deliver your baby?

Like most hospitals, CMC offers a variety of childbirth education classes. In these, couples learn the basics about childbirth and the standard labor and delivery process, McKenney said.

“What makes our classes unique is that we dive much deeper into preparing parents for their birth and parenting journey than a typical hospital birth class. We use multi- sensory experiences and our discussions go beyond ‘this is what you can expect,’ she said.

“We challenge parents to think about how they can be resourceful and solution-focused in any situation they find themselves in.

By gaining knowledge, confidence, and expanding their ideas on what this experience may be like, parents report how empowered and prepared they felt having taken our classes.”

Other specialty classes offered at CMC include breastfeeding, infant CPR and parenting your newborn. For parents who need a refresher, CMC also offers a “Birthing Again” class and a class for women who will be planning a vaginal delivery after a cesarean section (VBAC).

“Every birth is unique — there is always something unplanned and unexpected that happens and catches the family by surprise,” McKenney said. “People often are shocked by how powerful their birth experience is. No book, advice, or movie can fully prepare you for your transition into parenthood. It is momentous.”

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WHAT SHOULD I BRING TO THE HOSPITAL? The hospital tour provides a good opportunity for you to learn what should come with you to the hospital and what should stay home, McKenney said. At CMC, among the items moms can expect to receive include diapers, wipes, a digital thermometer, a nasal aspirator and self-care supplies for mom. Moms also receive a newborn care and postpartum care book and the formula they need

8/31 /19.

18.

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‘‘

Lay low for the first couple of weeks after you get home...asking family and friends for help.

’’

— Christine McKenney, RN, BSN, CLC, CCBE

to feed their infants while they are staying in the hospital. What you don’t need to bring are excessive amounts of baby clothing, formula or a breast pump.

One of the most important things you can bring is a safe car seat: it’s the one thing every baby must have before he or she leaves the hospital.

“You must have an unexpired car seat to take the baby home in. Read your manual, play with the car seat in your car ahead of time to figure out how it works, install the car seat, and make an appointment at a local car seat check station (usually your fire or police department),” McKenney said.

“Eight out of 10 car seats are installed wrong, even after people follow the instructions. In the hospital, nurses will provide you with car seat safety information and check if your baby is properly strapped in prior to you leaving, but they are not allowed to go to your car to check or install your seat.” (See related story, Page 31)

WE ARE HOME. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? It’s a good idea to lay low for the first couple weeks after you get home. Resting as much as possible, limiting the number of visitors who come to your house, and asking family and friends for help are all good rules of thumb, McKenney said.

Here are some other things families should tackle after they return home: • Set up a follow-up appointment with a pediatrician.

At CMC, parents are encouraged to make those appointments before they leave.

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• Set up a follow-up appointment with your OB/GYN. Most moms are seen six weeks postpartum, but some practices schedule follow-ups between two and six weeks, depending on the patient’s needs and what kind of birth she experienced, McKenney said.

• Know the number of your lactation consultant. Breastfeeding a newborn can be challenging. At CMC, there is a “warm line” moms can call to get help. “Sometimes breastfeeding can be difficult in the first few weeks — we don’t ever want moms to feel alone. We can help moms by answering questions over the phone or by having them visit our lactation office. It’s great to have support from friends and family, but if there are issues it is best to seek expert advice,” McKenney said.

• Recognize the signs of postpartum depression. It’s normal to be tired, overwhelmed, and cry sometimes. But, if

Recognize the signs of postpartum depression and seek help if needed.

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What should I know about maternity leave?

Many moms feel a pit in their stomach before they tell their boss that they plan on taking a maternity leave. Fear of losing a job or title, confusion about whether you are entitled to compensation, and concern about who will do your work when you are gone may all play into your anxiety — even if your boss and coworkers are thrilled by your announcement.

No matter how you break the news, it’s important to understand that for both sides it’s all about good communication, according to Charla Stevens, an attorney and chair of the employment practice group at McLane Middleton in Manchester, where she advises workplaces on employment law.

Employees need to make the best decisions they can, based on how much time they can afford to take off to care for a newborn, while balancing that with the cost of child care. It’s an even bigger burden for employers when employees quit jobs or are unable to return to work, particularly in this labor market, she said.

important to know the basics about the federal Family Medical Leave Act and New Hampshire state law as it pertains to maternity leave, your own company’s benefits, and any disability pay you might be entitled to receive while you are recovering.

The amount of time, compensation and disability pay you receive as a result of maternity leave can differ, but there are some basic laws that can provide most moms a general rule of thumb about what they might expect, Stevens said.

FAMILY MEDICAL LEAVE ACT This is a federal law that applies to full-time employees who work for an employer who has 50 or more employees in a 75-mile radius. It states that an employee is entitled to a leave of absence and job protection for 12 weeks after the birth of a child. This time period is not paid unless your company has a separate benefit.

• Both parents are eligible for unpaid FMLA time off after childbirth • If both spouses work for the same employer, that 12-week time period must be split.

However, if you do think you will stay home to care for your baby, it’s best to be up-front with your employer if you are 100 percent sure of your decision.

• If the mom has medical complications, she might be able to receive more than 12 weeks of FMLA under state law.

“The last thing an employer needs to hear at the last minute, a week before you are supposed to go back to work, is that you’ve changed your mind and plan to stay home with the baby,” she said. “Assuming you didn’t just make that decision just that last week, the decent thing would be for you to be in communication with your employer to alert them of your plan.”

• Health insurance, if you purchase it from your employer, has to continue during the FMLA time period. However, you are responsible for paying your portion of your premium while you are away from work.

Before you go public with your pregnancy and finalize your plans, it’s

• If you work for an employer with fewer than 50 employees, you are not eligible for protection under FMLA.

• You cannot complete unpaid work for an employer during the FMLA period. However, some employees do opt to do some work for pay if

you can’t take care of yourself and/or your baby, it’s a bigger concern. Moms should reach out immediately to providers if they are having trouble getting out of bed and functioning.

While you might be excited to dig into your baby “stuff” and even have a desire to buy more to ensure you have what you need, McKenney urges families to keep it basic.

“Websites and companies tell us we need to fill our homes with $5,000 worth of baby stuff. In reality we may never use most of these ‘must have’ items they recommend or use them for a short period of time and then store them to collect dust in our attic,” she said. “You don’t need to spend a lot of money to be prepared.”

She adds that some baby gear like jumpers and other devices can actually force a babies’ bodies into positions they aren’t ready for. It’s most important to hold them, keep them warm and fed — and let them play on the floor to allow them to explore their body and environment.

14 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE: • Basic supplies for feeding, whether you formula-feed or breastfeed • A safe sleeping place (flat, firm) • Diapers/wipes • Car seat • Blankets • Bibs/ burp clothes • Baby carrier/wrap

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• Baby monitor • Bottle warmer • Activity mat

Visit the Possibilities the employer doesn’t cover part of that leave, but it has to be completely voluntary, Stevens said.

• Your job is protected during the FMLA time period, with some caveats. “You aren’t exactly guaranteed the same job, but a job with equivalent conditions of work, pay and responsibility,” Stevens said. “However, your employer does not have the right to ask you to work third shift or in Rochester if your job was on the first shift in Manchester.”

NEW HAMPSHIRE STATE LAW State law provides the employee a leave of absence and job protection for the period of time in which a mom is disabled as a result of pregnancy or related medical complications for employers with more than six employees.

“Unlike FMLA, under NH law, you are entitled to whatever unpaid time off you need that has to do with medical conditions resulting from childbirth (bedrest, high-risk pregnancy) and it could be more than 12 weeks,” Stevens said.

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Charla Stevens is an attorney and chair of the employment practice group at McLane Middleton in Manchester.

HOW CAN I GET EXTRA HELP IN MY ‘FOURTH TRIMESTER’?

After settling down with baby during your maternity leave, you may find that you need extra help after all of your visitors have departed. What many moms may not know is that you can hire a postpartum doula to help you adjust during the postpartum period known as the “fourth trimester.”

Although postpartum doulas do not have a medical background, they are experts in newborn care and behavior. Postpartum doulas often help moms after the first three months of birth. They answer questions about newborn care and feeding, make sure the new mom is eating well and stays hydrated, and assist with tasks like meal preparation, housework, and child care while moms nap, shower, or run errands, according to Darcy Sauers, a postpartum doula and the founder of Dover Doula in Dover.

“Throughout history when women had a baby the community came around and supported that family and helped with the birth and caring for the baby afterwards,” Sauers said. “Society is not set up that way anymore — often people are taking care of their new baby in total isolation.”

A doula’s role is to help by providing nonjudgmental physical and emotional support to moms in whatever ways they need.

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‘‘

Having a safe sleep space is the most important thing.

’’

— Kateri Kaloyanides, director of education at Nini Bambini

Sauers is also a certified lactation consultant and can help support breastfeeding moms, too. Although she supports her clients during the day, her partner provides overnight help to moms who might need assistance with night-time feedings, for example.

It’s important for moms to realize that there is no stigma to asking for help, she said, and that working harder at being a new parent doesn’t make it easier.

“The birth and postpartum experience is seared in your mind, you might as well make that time enjoyable,” Sauers said.

“A doula can help you enjoy it all instead of making you feel like you are pushing and struggling.”

Other tips Sauers has for new moms: • Cook and freeze meals ahead of time for easy-to-reheat meals • Put the changing table in the living room • Consider interviewing postpartum doulas before your baby is born

WHAT SHOULD I INCLUDE (OR HAVE INCLUDED) ON MY BABY REGISTRY? Maybe you scanned random pieces of furniture at the department store or checked off a bunch of items on an online retailer’s website, but you still don’t find that you have quite what you need.

That’s fairly common, according to Kateri Kaloyanides, director of education at retailer Nini Bambini in Bedford.

“With my oldest I was walking through the aisles just scanning things, and you end up buying a million things you don’t need,” she said.

16 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

Nini Bambini offers parents specialty products in its boutique, including locally handmade items such as baby blankets and essential oils. Swaddles and creams for mom and carriers are some other products on the store shelves.

Kaloyanides, who teaches the newborn care and breastfeeding classes at the store, urges moms not to feel like they need to purchase every product at once.

“You have lots of time to set up the nursery and the baby doesn’t usually go in it until after a couple of months,” she said.

“Having a safe sleep space is the most important thing; and if a mom is nursing, I recommend good nursing bras, a nursing pillow, and a pump. Beyond that, there is not a huge amount you need right away.”

One thing you should avoid is registering for one brand of any particular item. For example, if you order one brand of baby bottles and your baby doesn’t end up liking that bottle, you may end up with a box of bottles you’ll never use, she said.

“Some people have a closet of newborn-sized diapers that their babies never fit into,” Kaloyanides said.

Strollers, carriers, bassinets, and other big-ticket items can all be bought used, as well as clothes. At Nini Bambini, moms often purchase from one another and donate items. Breast pumps should be bought new, she said.

While there’s a lot to consider while you are planning for your baby to arrive, with a little preparation, you can get back to enjoying this special time.

Krysten Godfrey Maddocks has worked as a journalist and a marketing director, and now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts.

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Rest assured you will A custom sleep plan and better sleep habits could help you get more zzz’s

BY KRYSTEN GODFREY MADDOCKS

S

amantha Foster was waking up every two to three hours with her baby and trudging to her full-time job every morning, frustrated and exhausted.

She and her husband, who live in northern Massachusetts, found themselves bickering about schedules and unable to enjoy their evenings. Something had to give, she said, which led her to seek out a sleep specialist, Arielle Greenleaf of Expect to Sleep Again, who helped turn her family’s nightmares into sweet dreams.

While the internet, how-to books, and friends and family all have well-meaning advice, there’s something to be said for working with an expert one-on-one, Foster said.

“I worked with Arielle and discovered that bed-

18 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

Greenleaf started Expect to Sleep Again in 2016, a little more than a year after the birth of her daughter. She knew firsthand how anxious parents were about getting their children — and themselves — back to sleep.

“My story starts much like many new moms would — I was tired! Really tired. And I desperately needed sleep. As a child, I didn’t sleep through the night until I was four years old. And even after that, I struggled with sleep. I knew I needed to address my daughter’s sleep issues for her sake and for mine. I felt confused, defeated, scared, and exhausted,” she said.

Greenleaf said “the clouds parted for her” after she worked with a sleep consultant.

Thanks to her positive experience, she wanted to assist others who were suffering from sleep deprivation like she had and became a certified sleep pediatric consultant.

Greenleaf and her team of sleep consultants create personalized sleep plans for parents of newborns and kids up to age 10.

Plans not only take into account a child’s developmental sleep pattern, but also the method the family prefers. They consider holistic, developmentally appropriate recommendations, while also supporting families with their individual needs.

For example, some families prefer a gentler method, while others prefer a firmer one. Greenleaf and her consultants who are based in the Boston area work with parents from all around the country, communicating with parents by phone or email.

Specific sleep services include newborn packages, help for parents challenged by their 4- to 6-year-olds, and a special “refresher” option for returning clients who find themselves stuck.

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time did not have to be an anxious activity — and four or five days later, my husband and I could have dinner together and we could watch TV. I could shower alone. Just being on a schedule was so wonderful and I had no idea it was even possible,” she said.

Foster’s daughter is now 19 months old and will be joined by a baby sister in August. She’s more than ready to tackle sleep deprivation head on; Foster is now one of Greenleaf’s sleep consultants who helps other families enjoy better infant and toddler sleep.

“It’s important to understand that every baby is different; what works for one child may not work for another. That’s the hardest misconception that I think a lot of parents have,” she said.

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For those parents who want guidance in lieu of a personalized plan, Expect to Sleep Again offers a self-paced online newborn sleep course that gives parents the basics to survive the newborn stage, a newborn guide for purchase, and a self-paced online sleep course.

Whatever path families decide to take regarding sleep, one thing is for sure: sleep is an important building block that shouldn’t be ignored.

“Sleep is important for growth and development. Studies show that sleep helps a baby’s brain develop. During the newborn stage, your baby should be sleeping anywhere from 15 to 18 hours in a 24hour period,” Greenleaf said.

“Because newborns don’t have clear-cut sleep patterns, the most important thing is to attempt to get them to sleep before they become overtired. This means getting them down for naps during the day about every 45-60 minutes.”

At around 4 months, sleep patterns shift again, often surprising parents. At this point, babies sleep cycles can become more adultlike, she said. This is the point where sleep scheduling may become possible, although this varies by child as some aren’t able to get on a good schedule until closer to 6 months. Throughout infancy, babies do tend to experience sleep disruptions during developmental “leaps.”

“Technically speaking, a ‘leap’ is when your baby is going through a developmentally sensitive period during which time her cognitive skills are rapidly developing,” Greenleaf said. “Due to these developments, babies can often struggle with sleep disruption. Likewise, physical developments can also disrupt sleep, crawling and walking in particular.”

When should parents be concerned about a newborn’s sleep?

While you do have to “survive” the newborn stage, if a baby is inconsolable much of the time and not sleeping at all, you may need to uncover whether there are physical issues at play such as gastrointestinal discomfort or ear infections.

“If your baby is inconsolable and appears to be struggling to sleep for a few days, definitely consult your pediatrician,” Greenleaf said.

BATTLING SLEEP DEPRIVATION WITH SLEEP TRAINING Christine Brown, a certified sleep consultant and owner of Nashua-based Bella Luna Sleep Consulting -- who also teaches classes at Nini Bambini in Bedford -- developed her passion for sleep after the birth of her twin boys in 2014. Like Greenleaf, she now works fulltime helping families and their children get back to sleep.

Long-term sleep deprivation not only affects children, but it affects moms and dads, too.

“Sleep deprivation affects mental, emotional and physical health and can contribute to increases in postpartum mood disorders including postpartum depression and anxiety,” Brown said. “For optimal growth and development, babies need happy and healthy parents. A lack of sleep oftentimes brings out the worst in us and then we aren’t the parents or spouses that we want to be due to the negative effects of sleep deprivation.”

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| JULY 2019 21

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Sixty to 70 percent of Brown’s clients seek sleep support for their children between the ages of 4 and 11 months, which represent a major development period in a baby’s life. The other 30 to 40 percent are parents of toddlers and preschoolers, up to age 6.

In addition to the 4-month sleep regression, babies also experience an 8-month sleep regression, Brown said.

Whether parents are already aware of how these developmental milestones affect sleep, it’s helpful for them to have a road map to develop healthy sleep habits from the start, she said.

Parents often resort to sleep theories they’ve read about such as “Cry it Out,” co-sleeping, or laying down with their child to provide comfort. Often, these attempts can backfire, particularly if you aren’t consistent, Brown said.

“It’s difficult for humans to make change in general. But if you don’t follow recommendations, it’s not fair to you or your child. You are setting them up to be confused by giving them mixed messages,” she said.

Brown and her Bella Luna consultants offer families customized sleep plans based on answers to a detailed family intake form and information gathered from a one-hour video consultation. Most consultation takes place through text, phone, and email.

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Brown and Greenleaf agree that providing a safe sleep space is one of the most important aspects related to newborn sleep. Neither recommends co-sleeping, as it’s not considered to be safe by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

“Always place your baby on a flat, firm surface such as a crib, bassinet, or pack and play. Babies should always be placed on their backs for sleep and their sleep space should be free of any blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, lovies or any other toys before the age of 12 months,” Greenleaf said.

It’s also best for your baby to be swaddled (up to 8 weeks of age or until your baby is mobile enough to begin rolling) and the AAP recommends pacifiers for SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) prevention as well, she said.

Rooms should be kept dark, with temperatures between 65 and 72 degrees.

You’ll especially want to avoid any product marketed as a “sleeper” that does not have a flat, firm surface. Recently, the popular Fisher Price “Rock and Play” inclined sleeping product was recalled from the market.

“Only use approved cribs, bassinets and play yards for sleep,” Greenleaf said. “Avoid all inclined sleep as it increases the risk for positional asphyxiation; including wedges, bouncers and swings.”

Although room sharing can be convenient from a breast-feeding standpoint and can potentially reduce SIDS incidences, Brown suggests that parents reconsider if no one is able to sleep as a result.

Bed-sharing is another story. Many parents resort to bed-sharing as a reaction to not being able to get their babies to sleep. When working with families, Brown always recommends an independent

Develop healthy sleep habits from the start • Keep baby’s awake windows short so that your baby doesn’t get overtired • Learn baby’s sleepy cues so you can get them down before they become overtired • Respect and prioritize your baby’s need for sleep (They don’t fit into our schedules; we fit into theirs) • Starting at 8 weeks, put your baby down tired, but awake, so they can learn to put themselves to sleep • Discontinue sleep crutches such as feeding to sleep; rocking, bouncing or holding to sleep; replacing the pacifier, or putting baby to sleep using movement (for example, car seat, swing, or stroller) • You can wake a sleeping baby — this is particularly true for newborns who need to learn the difference between night and day • If you need help or guidance, seek the advice of a qualified sleep expert

sleep space for babies, especially since spikes in SIDS incidences have been linked to bed-sharing.

“This is a personal choice and my only advice would be to recommend that they do their research to ensure that they are taking every precaution to make co-sleeping as safe as possible,” she said.

A FINAL WORD: RECOGNIZE ‘SLEEP SHAMING’ In our culture of busy, moms can be made to feel shamed when they prioritize themselves and their sleep, Greenleaf said. Now that many more moms are working, and are critical to supporting their families, it’s even more important that they have access to tools and resources that allow their families to be happy, functioning members.

“There are false claims out there that if you are sleep training your baby, you aren’t being responsive to their needs. That is false. It does not cause learned helplessness,” she said.

Megan Knopik, of Minneapolis, Minn., is a mother to twins who will turn 3 this summer. Owen is a champion sleeper, while Claire needed extra help getting to sleep. At one time, Knopik woke up 14 times a night and remembers what life was like before hiring a sleep consultant.

“I went from being homebound to getting my life back,” she said.

Now a sleep consultant for Expect to Sleep Again, she is excited to assist families and is happy when she hears they are finally getting rest, thanks to her guidance.

“One of the things I love most about sleep consulting is waking up to emails from parents who just got their first good night’s sleep in months, or even years. It brings me back to when my children first started sleeping well and how good it felt,” Knopik said.

Krysten Godfrey Maddocks has worked as a journalist and a marketing director. Mom to Everett, she has lived on the Seacoast for the past 20 years.

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Traveling with your very young one Flying or driving long distances with an infant can be tricky. Here are some tips.

BY MARY ELLEN HETTINGER

W

hen it comes to traveling with an infant, a good rule may simply be not to unless absolutely necessary. But if you do have to travel with your newborn, here are few things to keep in mind before you take off for your journey.

“When you have a very young infant who is not yet immunized, be very careful not to expose your baby to people. With very young children, make sure they get their vaccines, and they’re up to date before traveling. Babies are very susceptible to things, and you should avoid large groups of people,” Dr. Pamela Hofley of

24 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

Dartmouth-Hitchcock Manchester said.

There are many reasons why traveling with a baby is not a good idea, besides being exposed to a multitude of germs. Planes get delayed, leading to lengthy stays on the tarmac. Weather causes cancellations and unexpected overnight stays. Ear pain and fussiness can make a flight a nightmare for everyone. Luggage gets lost, and how many outfits, diapers and formula can you fit in a carry-on?

Summer heat on long drives can lead to carsickness.

Have the grandparents visit you instead of taking an infant on a cross-country tour to meet the family. But if you have to travel, “if your child is healthy and well, off you go,” Dr. Hofley said. And don’t forget the appropriate car seat.

MORE TIPS • Never leave a child in a vehicle, not even for a minute. It can be tempting, especially if they are asleep, but don’t do it. Cars heat up to dangerous levels very quickly.

• Don’t give your baby Benadryl or anything to make them sleep before flying or a long car trip. “It could have the opposite effect and you don’t want to travel with a strungout child,” Dr. Hofley said.

• Recent ear infection? Clear air travel with your pediatrician first before flying.

• An international trip requires planning months in advance. Depending on your destination, your family may need extra vaccines that need to be given over a span of time. You may also need visas.

FLYING WITH BABIES Before you get on board — early and before the crowd — does your baby have the proper identification?

In the United States you’ll need a birth certificate (contact the airline first: some require the original certificate, some will accept a photocopy or digital copy), possibly a passport, and immunization records.

If your infant is less than two weeks old and you absolutely must fly, check with the airline first. Most will require a doctor’s note saying the newborn is OK to fly.

In fact, play it safe and notify whatever commercial airline you’re traveling on that you will have a babe in arms with you. Then you can find out everything you need to

know to avoid any hold-up at the counter or being turned away at the gate.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, even though most domestic commercial airlines still allow babies to travel on your lap, it’s not safe. Whether in a jet or a car, in turbulence or with sudden stops, unsecured children get thrown around.

If you expect to fly a few times throughout the year with your child, not every Child Restraint System is approved by the Federal Aviation Administration. The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends using an FAA-approved device.

www.parentingnh.com

| JULY 2019 25

GETTING THROUGH SECURITY The Transportation Security Administration has modified screening procedures for children under 12 and babies and their gear are not exempt. Your child is considered an infant if you have to carry him or her through screening; a toddler is a child who needs help walking through screening with a grownup.

Don’t leave home without them, but formula and breast milk in “reasonable quantities” must be removed from your carry-on for screening. If you have more than 3.4 ounces of liquid, the TSA officer will X-ray it. Baby food in a can or jar is OK but may be subject to additional screening. (The Food and Drug Administration says there are no known adverse effects from consuming liquids, medicine or food that has been X-rayed.)

Also: • Ice and freezer packs are allowed in a carry-on but may be screened if they are “slushy.”

• Bring hand-washing gel and use it liberally. Use disinfectant wipes on the seats and arm rests, tray tables — every surface you come in contact with.

• To deal with ear pain from changes in pressure during takeoff and landing, plan to nurse or have the baby suck on a bottle or pacifier.

• The website of the Military Wife and Mom (www.themilitarywifeandmom.com) has

26 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

lots of tips for travel with children. Lauren Tamm, who is also a parent coach, suggests this hack for nursing moms: Wear a nursing tank top with a zippered active-wear jacket or sweatshirt for discreet nursing. But first, thread a colorful shoelace through the zipper hole. Baby can play with the shoelace, but the key is bringing a few small toys to tie on to the shoelace, one at a time, for distraction without playing “dropsies.”

ROAD TRIP First, be sure to take care of yourself when driving and stop every few hours to stretch or rest, Dr. Hofley said. To keep kids entertained, she suggests having them read or playing road games, “not 15 hours of screen time.” Even a preschooler can help entertain a baby; making faces, playing peekaboo and singing silly songs can go a long way.

Bring water and healthy snacks with you but leave the soda and juice at home.

YOU’VE ARRIVED When baby’s on board, safety never takes a vacation. Whether staying with relatives,

at a motel, campground or resort, childproofing is vital. Dr. Hofley recommends blue painter’s tape for covering outlets and wires. Warn grandparents to lock up or move medicines and cleaning products higher up, or pack a few cabinet locks.

Bring your own Pack ‘n Play, playpen or bassinet so you know you’ll have a nice clean bed for your child. Even if a resort has them for guests, “You can’t be sure they’re really clean,” the pediatrician warns.

By the water or a swimming pool, you can’t count on a lifeguard (or there may not even be one). Besides being vigilant about watching your children, “I recommend kids wear life jackets whenever they are around a pool or on a boat,” said Dr. Hofley.

“Parents should set an example by wearing theirs too, on a boat, for example.” Children and toddlers may not even make a splash when they fall into water, so keeping them in flotation devices is much safer.

Finally, when the inevitable traffic jams, detours and lost reservations happen, keep your cool. Months from now mishaps will become part of family lore and yes, you will laugh about it — even that trip to urgent care with everyone in their bathing suits after your toddler crammed a popcorn kernel way up her nose.

Mary Ellen Hettinger is a frequent contributor to ParentingNH.

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magine suddenly being uprooted from everything you know about your world … being put in a new building with strangers and not understanding the language or what is expected of you. As an adult, that would be very confusing and hard to adjust, right? But what if you were only two years old in that same scenario… and had never been away from your parents!

Children being introduced into a childcare center or preschool setting have to learn to cope with a multitude of changes all at once … being separated from parents, finding comfort in and taking direction from unfamiliar adults, getting their needs met, being surrounded by new people and lots of noise, and learning new routines … without being able to fully understand why all these changes are suddenly happening.

Fortunately, good early childhood educators understand this process, as they see it every day, and are trained in how to make these situations easier for our youngest and sweetest. We know the special ways to approach children, to hold them, to soothe them and to support them, so they feel connection and comfort.

Some children just jump right into the new setting and thrive; others are apprehensive, shy and take time to become acclimated to the new situation. There are those who just flat out cannot handle so many changes at once, and we are careful about initiating that child into the group. We do it slowly, mindful of respecting the child’s need for pacing and allow him/her to move on when he/she is ready.

The key to a successful start to school is in the preparation. Children at all levels, even the most fearless, need to know/be prepared for what is happening to them. Proper transitioning from one activity or setting to the next helps children feel some measure of control. This can be done at any age. Just as an adult adapts with warning, prior to a major change taking effect, children will surprise you with how resilient they can be when transitioned in the right way.

With intentional preparation and practice, even the youngest children can get prepared for big changes and learn that their families are happy for their new experiences. They will form valuable connections with others, learn self-regulation and gain self-esteem as they accomplish the developmentally-appropriate tasks supported by their teachers and care givers. They will have fun and will flourish.

At World Academy, we intentionally have students come for an observation hour to help determine how a new child’s transition into our center may go. This allows the new student to adapt and move into his/ her new setting slowly and carefully, to meet new friends and teachers and to explore at a personal pace to establish trust. Our teachers are able to support families through the transition into care by helping with tips that are personal to each particular child, to lessen child anxieties, based on the observation time. (And parent’s anxieties, as well!) The start of school at any age is an anxious time of uncertainty for all, but when facilitated by well-trained educators, both the new students and their parents can feel at ease knowing that all of their experiences are going to be individualized to meet the needs of all. And just like that they are on their way!

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30 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

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A parent’s guide to

car seats What you need to know about ‘the right seat, the right size, the right use’

BY MARY ELLEN HETTINGER

R

emember those cute “Baby on Board” stickers of years back?

The thought was sweet, but you can’t count on other drivers to avoid hitting your vehicle just to protect your little one. Your best defense against injury, or worse, in an accident is having your child tucked securely into an appropriate and correctly installed car seat.

“Car seats are absolutely vital, whether in your car, on a plane, in a grandparent’s car or Uber or rental car.

Because kids who are not secured in car seats get thrown around in any collision, the American Academy of Pediatrics is very strong about this,” said Pamela Hofley, MD, MPH, Medical Director at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Manchester and a pediatrician.

“Improved vehicle crashworthiness and greater use of child restraint systems have significantly affected the safety of children in automobiles,” the AAP wrote in November 2018. Child safety seats reduce the risk of injury by 71% to 82%, their latest research shows, compared to child passengers using just seat belts.

www.parentingnh.com

| JULY 2019 31

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Why register your car seat?

It’s vital to fill out the registration that comes with the seat and mail it in or go online. In case of a manufacturer recall due to a defect, you’ll be notified of steps to take for repair or replacement. If you have a used car seat, look the model up online to see if there are issues.

You can also register your car seat at www.nhtsa.gov

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One of the first things to know is that car seats belong in the back seat.

The same airbags in the driver and passenger seats that protect adults and save lives in a crash can be fatal to a child. The back seat is best because it is farther away in case of a head-on impact.

Also, the seat (or Child Restraint System, or CRS) should be installed with the baby facing the rear. These are a must, the American Academy of Pediatrics said, because the baby’s “head, neck, and spine are all supported by the hard shell of the car safety seat, allowing the car seat to absorb most of the crash forces, and protecting the most vulnerable parts of the body.”

Rear-facing seats should be used for as long as possible, according to www.safety.com. A baby in a front-facing car seat is “much more likely to sustain a head or spinal injury if the car stops short,” according to the Journal of Pediatrics.

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Car seats can cost as little as $30 or as much as your first car. But you must use it every single time you have your child in a vehicle, any vehicle. So it’s vital to know how to install and remove the restraint as needed.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is part of the U.S. Department of Transportation. Their online car-seat finder rates seats on several criteria, including ease of use. When you are getting ready to buy take this into consideration as well as consumer reviews and safety ratings. Read all the information carefully because not all seats fit in all vehicles.

There are three types of car seats: one for infants, a convertDid you know ible seat that can be changed to New Hampshire state law a forward-facing car seat as the requires that kids be in an child grows, and all-in-one seats appropriate safety seat that can go from rear-facing to until they are 7 years old or front-facing to booster seats 57 inches tall, whichever (there are also several types of comes first. After that, they must be restrained properly booster seats). with a seat belt.

Convertible and booster seats allow children to stay in a

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| JULY 2019 33

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rear-facing position as they grow, which is safer.

The first child restraint system you need is a rear-facing seat for newborns to age 2, or when your toddler is at the upper weight and/ or height limits for that seat. If there is a seat belt in the middle of the backseat, that’s the best place to install the rear-facing car seat, because it’s the farthest from areas of impact in a crash.

Some of the seats designed for infants have a base so you can slip the seat out and use it like a carrier without having to uninstall the whole contraption.

Next, it’s time for a forward-facing seat to be used until at least age 5, or again when the child has surpassed the limits of that particular car seat.

Booster seats follow, for kids anywhere from 30 to 120 pounds until you can fit a seat belt properly around your child. This means that the lap belt is across the upper thighs (not the abdomen) with the shoulder belt across the chest (not the neck).

And always wear your seat belt. Dr. Hofley said parents need to model safe, responsible behavior long before their kids get behind the wheel themselves.

THERE’S A TECH FOR THAT To ensure you have “the right seat, the right size, the right use” there are “inspection stations” across the state at police and fire stations, and AAA offices. Most of these operate by appointment. Go to www.safercar.gov or www.nhtsa.gov to find a Child Passenger Safety technician near you. And, of course, read the manufacturer’s directions.

“It’s important to know how to install your car seat properly,” said Dr. Hofley. “You should learn to do it yourself, because you’ll need to be able to take it out and put it back in correctly.” If you don’t have the manual it came with, check the manufacturer’s website.

For more tips regarding car seat safety, see this month’s House Calls column on Page 40 written by Tom Leach, the Child Passenger Safety Coordinator for the Injury Prevention Program at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (CHaD).

Mary Ellen Hettinger, APR is an award-winning reporter, editor and writer, and accredited public relations professional.

34 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

Advertisement

Local teen running away to the traveling circus

B

en Miron, Cyr Wheelist, juggler and acrobat of Bedford, NH, has earned a spot with Circus Smirkus, the award-winning traveling youth circus based in Greensboro, Vermont.

One of the most beloved family arts events of the New England summer, the 2019 Circus Smirkus Big Top Tour opens June 29 in Vermont and takes to the road on 69-show tour that will visit 5 states and 16 towns over 51 days this summer, including Keene, Hanover and Wolfeboro, NH. Ben Miron auditioned and was selected to be part of the award-winning troupe that has wowed audiences across New England for more than three decades. The 30 budding circus stars in the 2019 troupe are all ages 11 to 18, and bring youthful exuberance and polished circus skills to grace the Circus Smirkus Big Top from regions across the United States and Canada.

Ben is a rising senior at the High Mowing School in Wilton, NH, and for the last 5 years has been part of Flying Gravity Circus, a local youth-training and performing circus. This will be Ben’s second summer tour with Smirkus after an amazing run in last summer’s “Vaudeville” tour, which was seen by over 45,000 people over the course of the summer.

Ben practices a wide variety of circus arts, but particularly enjoys juggling, acrobatics, the Cyr Wheel (an oversized metal hula hoop that you flip, twist, and spin around inside of) and Chinese Pole (climbing up, down and doing tricks on a freestanding pole).

“I love the circus because of the challenging physicality of Cyr, pole and acrobatics while also being able to unleash my creativity through performance. It’s a real thrill to be selected to be part of this amazing group of talented and enthusiastic artists who will work together to create an amazing show for audiences of all ages to enjoy this summer. I hope you come and see us!”

Now in its 32nd year, Circus Smirkus is the only traveling ‘tented’ youth circus in the United States where artists perform ‘under canvas’ in a traditional European-style circus tent. Audiences experience the authentic and historic flair of the iconic circus, under a Big Top where there’s not a bad seat in the house. (Note: there are no animal acts in these performances.)

The 2019 Circus Smirkus show theme is the great American Carnival. Inspired by the elegance of the carousel ride, the thrill of the roller coaster, and games of chance and skill, the young artists will perform a vast array of circus skills including aerials, acrobatics, wire-walking, juggling and clowning in a show that features live music, brilliant costumes and many other surprises.

The 2019 Big Top Tour takes to the road in late June and travels through mid-August with a tour caravan that requires some 23-support vehicles and 80 people including artists, tent crew and a live circus band playing an original score written specifically for this show.

Circus Smirkus will pass through New Hampshire to perform “Carnival” in Keene on July 15 and 16, Hanover on July 18 and 19 and Wolfeboro on August 11 and 12. Show times: at 1pm and 6pm. Full tour schedule and tickets are available at www.smirkus.org or 1-877-SMIRKUS.

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BREASTFEEDING: The Benefits tunity to bond with your baby, but occasionally it is uncomfortable, especially during the teething phase of your child’s development. It should never cause intense pain, however. When your baby is teething, their gums tend to be swollen and sore so it may seem like they are trying to relieve the pain by clamping down (ouch). If you are experiencing this, it is important to do your best to stop that behavior. Before breastfeeding, consider giving your child a teething toy to help soothe their gums a bit. You can also try to break the baby’s suction by firmly saying, “no.” You don’t want to scare them, but a word or noise could encourage them to loosen their grip. Additionally, by carefully placing a bit of pressure on one of your baby’s nostrils, you should notice some relief. Just be certain that you aren’t blocking the baby’s airway completely.”

While breastfeeding a newborn can be one of the most gratifying and healthy experiences a mother can share with her newborn — offering a number of benefits for both mom and baby — it can also be as challenging as it is rewarding.

Parenting NH reached out to three lactation experts who tell us about getting started, what to expect, and to offer a few tips to make it a successful effort.

OUR EXPERTS: Brenna Stapp, D.O., Manchester OBGYN Associates, manchesterob.com; Janet Perkins, M.D., Garrison Women’s Health, gwhc.com; Mary Shupe, MPH, APRN, CPNP and Cathy Leighton, APRN, CPNP, River Road Pediatrics, riverroadpediatrics.com.

Brenna Stapp, D.O., Manchester OBGYN Associates What are the benefits of breastfeeding?

Stapp: “So many! Before I go further — I always point out that the one thing every parent has to do is feed the baby. That can be strictly breast, strictly bottle, or any combination in between. However, for those women that are considering breastfeeding, there are many benefits for mother and baby to consider. For babies — breastfeeding provides maternal antibodies that help protect the baby until his or her immune system starts to develop (around six months). This can lower the rates of ear infections, diarrhea, respiratory illness and allergies.

Any amount of breastfeeding has been shown to decrease the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) as well as juvenile diabetes. Breast milk has the right balance of nutrients a baby needs at birth and adapts that content as the baby gets older.

36 www.parentingnh.com | JULY 2019

A mother’s body is truly amazing. Moms benefit as well by a metabolic booster — we burn an extra 500 calories a day by breast feeding. It lowers the risk of hypertension, diabetes and heart disease. It also lowers the lifetime risk of breast and ovarian cancer.”

What breast-feeding related rights do I have in the workplace?

Stapp: “Knowing your rights and having plans in place before you come back from maternity leave starts you and your employer on a good path for successful breastfeeding. Here are the legal protections in place in New Hampshire: • As of 1999, breastfeeding in public is not considered indecent exposure — in fact, it is a protected legal right.

• Since 2010, under the U.S. Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, employers are required to provide breastfeeding mothers time and a place (other than a bathroom) to express breast milk for the first year of the baby’s life.

• If a workplace has fewer than 50 employees, they may be exempt from this law. If your workplace has fewer than 50 people, having a conversation with your employer about your breastfeeding goals before you return from leave will hopefully reach a mutually reasonable plan.

As a mother of two that breastfed, I recognize and commend the time, effort and troubleshooting this can involve. Your OB care provider is a great resource for more information, support and encouragement — we wish you the best of luck, regardless of how you feed your baby!”

Janet Perkins, M.D., Garrison Women’s Health What is your advice to mothers with babies who are teething?

Perkins: “Breastfeeding is a wonderful oppor-

What are the best tips to increase milk production?

Perkins: “As mothers, we typically don’t put ourselves first. Taking excellent care of yourself is often the best way to increase milk production. This includes drinking enough water, getting plenty of rest, eating a well-balanced diet, and allocating time each day for movement. Some women take herbal supplements like fenugreek or thistle, or they drink Mother’s Milk Tea or coconut milk to help with milk supply. These items can be found at your local supermarket or online. Before your bundle of joy arrives, consider taking a breastfeeding class or meeting with a lactation consultant for guidance.”

When should I start pumping to build up a supply of milk for returning to work?

Perkins: “This decision is best left to the mother as all circumstances are different. Depending on the length of one’s maternity leave, most women try to breastfeed as long as they can before beginning to pump. It is almost always best to wait until at least two weeks after your baby is born to begin pumping, and ideally four or five weeks. For mothers who are pumping in preparation for their return to work, remember that breast milk lasts 6-12 months in the freezer.”

Mary Shupe, MPH, APRN, CPNP and Cathy Leighton, APRN, CPNP, River Road Pediatrics What are the signs of a proper latch while nursing?

Leighton: “An infant gets an adequate amount of breast milk by latching on and suckling at the mother’s breast by forming a tight seal around the mother’s nipple and most of her areola with his/ her mouth. When an infant is latched correctly, the mother may briefly feel some discomfort for the first 30 to 60 seconds which then decreases. When an infant has properly latched onto the mother’s

s and Challenges breast, there is at least a 120-degree opening between the top and bottom lips, the lower lip is turned outward against the breast, the infant’s cheeks appear full, and the tongue extends over the lower lip and remains below the areola during nursing.

“If a mother continues to feel discomfort beyond the first 60 seconds of nursing, the infant may be poorly latched onto the breast. Some signs of a poor latch include the upper and lower lips touching at the corner of the infant’s mouth while latched, a sunken appearance to the baby’s cheeks, clicking sounds, the infant’s tongue not visible below the mother’s nipple while nursing, or a crease in the mother’s nipple after nursing. If a mother suspects a poor latch, she should insert her clean finger into the infant’s mouth and gently break the seal to prevent further trauma to her nipple. If you are having difficulty with your infant latching on properly and

comfortably, try not to despair and reach out to your clinician or lactation consultant who will often have measures to help.”

What food /drinks should be avoided while breastfeeding?

Shupe: “There are some foods and beverages a breastfeeding mother should consider avoiding while breastfeeding. Alcohol of any type is not recommended. Caffeine also gets into the mother’s milk, so switching to decaffeinated drinks is a better option. Some infants become very gassy and fussy if the mother is eating a lot of gas-producing foods, such as raw vegetables, spicy foods, onions, garlic, etc. One might consider altering her diet to a bland diet to see if baby’s fussiness improves. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience for both mom and baby, however if challenges arise please don’t hesitate to reach out to your health care provider.”

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dad on board WAITING FOR THE STUMBLE CHARACTER-BUILDING MOMENTS HAVE BEEN FEW FOR MY DAUGHTER – THAT’S GOOD, I GUESS

BY BILL BURKE Growing up, there were three things I loved: reading Robert E. Howard’s ‘Conan’ novels in English class, listening to Iron Maiden, and playing hockey.

I loved everything about hockey — the camaraderie, the 5 a.m. practices and even that instantly recognizable locker room stink that brings me right back to the Graf Rink in Newburyport where there’s still probably a ninja throwing star stuck in the ceiling of locker room 4 that I had nothing to do with whatsoever.

There was just one small problem about my hockey career — I wasn’t good. I was the guy that was on the first line of the junior varsity team, but never got to skate alongside the varsity players from my school who went on to Hockey East, Europe, and even the NHL. However, there was an upside to my complete lack of hockey IQ. Rejection and disappointment, I was taught, builds character. At the end of a hockey career unencumbered by items such as trophies, championships or scoring titles, I emerged with enough character to win the gold medal at the character Olympics. So while I want my 16-year-old daughter to have strong character, I just can’t find it in myself to root against her.

She’s having a year. Let’s just say there were a number of victories during her junior year in high school and things went fairly well, and that’s great. I want my child to have the perfect life with no obstacles or difficulties. But we know that’s not how life works.

Someday, unfortunately, disappointment will rear its stupid head.

Whether it’ll be stumbling during an audition or fumbling a college interview, it’s bound to happen. That’s when she’ll learn what was ingrained into me about disappointment and character — because I think there’s some validity to it.

We recently had a chance for her to experience a defeat/character-building moment. She auditioned for an improv troupe at her school. It’s a tough tryout, and there was a real chance she’d get passed over. Sadly, she succeeded.

While we wait, the best her mom and I can do is parent our butts off, and point to the assemblage of excellent role models in our family for her to emulate. We have a police officer, a minister, several veterans, and hardworking white- and blue-collar workers aplenty. While she’s an only child, there are many surrogate siblings for her to learn from.

In the meantime, we’ll have to wait for setbacks to occur organically as they do in nature or in Toronto during the NHL playoffs. That’s when she’ll blossom.

When she was little, I’d swing through Friendly’s and anything that was irking her was quickly forgotten. Until science proves that Fribbles build character, I’ll have to help her learn from whatever obstacles may pop up.

I’m ready, disappointment. Let’s do this.

Bill Burke is the all-time world champion of character and a writer who lives in southern New Hampshire with his wife and daughter. He is also the managing editor of custom publications for McLean Communications.

www.parentingnh.com

| JULY 2019 39

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The National Safety Council reports that vehicular crashes increased 13 percent from 2016 to 2018 — even with improved safety features. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, car crashes are a leading cause of death for children ages 1 to 13.

Help keep your child safe by following these recommendations.

When to use a car seat or booster seat • Children shorter than 4 feet, 9 inches, must be in a car seat or booster.

• Children younger than 3 should be rear-facing.

• Children should be in harnessed seats until they reach the car seat/ booster manufacturer’s maximum size recommendation. Federal standards require that guidelines be labeled on the car seat, and in the instruction manual.

• Children need to be able to sit comfortably with their knees bent and feet on the floor to use a regular seat belt.

How to install a car seat or booster • Learn car seat terms before trying to follow installation instructions at Safekids.org.

• Convertible car seats, which can be used for both rear and front facing, have two belt paths.

• Make sure the belt is strapped in closest to the vehicle’s seat back. The car seat should move no more than one-inch, side-to-side and front-toback, at the belt path.

• Make sure the seat belt is locked. It may lock at the retractor (which happens when you pull the seat belt all the way out to lock it) or it may lock at the buckle of the seat belt with a locking latch plate.

• If your child is less than 45 pounds, you can install car seats using lower anchors — horizontal bars located in the vehicle’s seat, that provide a secure anchor for the car seat’s lower attachments.

• The car seat must be tight and the harness snug. If you can pinch the harness material together at your child’s shoulder — it is too loose.

• All forward-facing harnessed seats must use top tethers, straps that “anchor” the top of the car seat to a tether anchor in the vehicle.

• Booster seats, used when your child has outgrown a car seat, position your child so that the belt rests across the center of their chest and the lap belt goes across their hips — “pocket to pocket.”

Other safety considerations 1. Look for a local car seat inspection station. Certified technicians will show you how to correctly install your car seat.

2. Register your car seat with the manufacturer to be notified if there is a recall or safety alert. You can register or sign up for recall and safety alerts at the NHTSA website.

3. Have a used car seat? The NHTSA website has guidelines if it is safe to use or not.

4. Be a role model! Buckle up every ride, every time.

For more information about car seat safety, go to NHTSA.gov or Safekids.org.

Tom Leach is the Child Passenger Safety Coordinator for the Injury Prevention Program at the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (CHaD).

SPONSORED BY

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What makes New Hampshire such a wonderful place to live?

Voting starts July 15 at www. parentingnh.com

You tell us!

It’s time to vote for ParentingNH’s Family Favorites for 2019. Help us give props to the places, people and things that make this state a great place to raise a family.

www.parentingnh.com

| JULY 2019 41

out & about

COMPILED BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

Fireworks at Hampton Beach 6 SHOWS IN JULY Firework shows are held every Wednesday during the summer at Hampton Beach, on the beach at the top of B and C Streets, beside the Atlantic Ocean. Bring a blanket and the family to experience the magic of the night sky lit by fireworks .

Don’t miss the special display on July 4. All of the shoots are at 9:30 p.m. with a rain date of the following Friday if they are cancelled due to inclement weather.

ROYAL TEA PARTY 2 TUESDAY WOLFEBORO – Town Hall, 86 S. Main St. Northeastern Ballet Theatre invites all princes and princesses to a Royal Tea Party. Dress in your royal finery and come see the Northeastern Ballet Theatre Princess ballerinas and prince dance. Have your picture taken with the princesses and a prince.

Crafts, tea, sweets, goody bags and more. All ages.

Cost: $15/$20 at the door; adults free with paying child. 10-11:30 a.m. www.northeasternballet.org

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REVOLUTIONARY STORY TIME 4 THURSDAY EXETER -- Folsom Tavern, 164 Water St. Re-enactor and musician Mike Welch will share books, stories, crafts, and music in the first 30 minutes. Parent-super vised playtime follows and includes crafts, imaginary

play, colonial games and period dress-up. Free. 2 to 4 p.m. www. independencemuseum.org

FOURTH ON THE FARM 4 THURSDAY MILTON – NH Farm Museum, 1305 White Mountain Highway.

Bring a picnic lunch and listen to live music, sign the Declaration of Independence after a reenactor brings it by horseback and the Levi Jones role player reads it to the crowd.

Decorate a bike, wagon, etc. and join in a Farm Parade, play games, eat strawberry shortcake, make and eat ice cream and take a wagon ride. Admission: $25 per family (two adults and their children/grandchildren); members free. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Find more information on Facebook.

NEW ENGLAND REPTILE EXPO 7 SUNDAY MANCHESTER – Doubletree by Hilton, 700 Elm St. Thousands of reptiles on display and for sale as pets. Vendors will also be selling cages, supplies, frozen feeder rodents, feeder bugs, and many other reptile-related items. Admission: Adults, $10; age 7-12, $5; younger than 7 gets in free.

10 a.m. to 4 p.m. www. reptileexpo.com

HILLSBORO FEST & FAIR 11 THURSDAY HILLSBOROUGH – Grimes Field, 24 Preston St. This event offers something for everyone – carnival rides, entertainment, activities for kids, lawn tractor pulls, 5k road race and a variety of food. The Saturday fireworks spectacular is one of the premier fireworks displays in New Hampshire. The Hillsborough Hometown Parade

COURTESY OF MANCHESTER.UNH.EDU

is Sunday. The four-day event runs through July 14. Complete schedule on website. Free admission; $10 parking fee. www. balloonfestival.org

HIGH-ENERGY FUN WITH KEITH MUNSLOW AT UNH MANCHESTER

UNHM SUMMER MUSIC SERIES FOR KIDS 11 THURSDAY MANCHESTER – UNH Manchester, 88 Commercial St. UNHM invites children and their families to laugh and learn at the Summer Music Series all month long. Thanks to the Frederick Smyth Trust, all shows are free and open to the public.

Registration is required as seating is limited. Register at https://manchester.unh.edu/ blog/campus-news/free-kidssummer-music-series • July 11: Little Red Wagon-Cleo’s Egyptian Tale, 10 a.m.

• July 12: Steve Blunt & Friends, featuring Marty Kelley, 10 a.m.

• July 18: Judy Pancoast and the Judy Crew, 10 a.m.

• July 19: Keith Munslow, 1 p.m.

• July 26: Lindsay Aucella and Her Puppet Pals, 10 a.m.

THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE 12 FRIDAY NASHUA – Court Street Theater, 14 Court St. The Actorsingers present, “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.” An eclectic group of six students vie for the spelling championship

LUNAR SCIENCE AND EXPLORATION ON DISPLAY

of a lifetime. While candidly disclosing hilarious and touching stories from their home lives, the tweens spell their way through a series of (potentially made-up) words, hoping never to hear the soul-crushing, pout-inducing, life un-affirming “ding” of the bell that signals a spelling mistake. Six spellers enter, one speller leaves.

Show tonight at 7:30. Shows also July 13 at 2 and 7:30 p.m.; and July 14 at 2 p.m. Cost: $15/$17.

320-1870; www.actorsingers.org

live music and animal shows, face painting, balloon art and caricaturists, games, storytelling and more. Admission: Adults, $12; ages 5-17, $10; members, $9; age 4 and younger get in free. 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. www. wright museum.org

42ND ANNUAL LOON FESTIVAL 20 SATURDAY

CIVIL WAR RE-ENACTORS COURTESY OF WRIGHT MUSEUM

FAMILY DAY AT THE WRIGHT MUSEUM

MOULTONBOROUGH – The Loon Center, Lee’s Mill Road.

There’s something for everyone at the Loon Festival – crafts and balloons for the kids, slide presentations by loon biologists for the adults, and food, beverages and wildlife exhibits for everyone. Take the Loon Facts quiz and win throws at the dunk tank. Also face painting, music and the Squam Lakes Natural Science Center Discovery Table with animal exhibits. Rain or shine. Free. 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. www.loon.org

14 SUNDAY

TO THE MOON!

WOLFEBORO – Wright Museum of WWII, 77 Center St. Activities include rides in military vehicles, getting up close to Sherman and Pershing tanks, seeing WWII and Civil War re-enactors, enjoying

CONCORD – McAuliffeShepard Discovery Center, 2 Institute Drive. On July 20, 50 years ago, humans first set foot on the Moon. The Discovery

Center team is hosting a full-day celebration to mark the opening of the new To the Moon! exhibit, a special exhibition on lunar science and exploration, past, present and future. www. starhop.com

30 SATURDAY

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| JULY 2019 43

UMPHREY’S MCGEE PHOTO COURTESY OF CASINOBALLROOM.COM

time out

HAMPTON BEACH FUN — IF YOU ARE OVER 21

BY MELANIE HITCHCOCK

H

ampton Beach is known for being an inexpensive, fun, familyfriendly destination in the summer. But there’s also plenty of adult fun to be had every day of the week. If you are headed to the coast for a night or a weekend or longer, here are a few of our suggestions for how you can have a great time, day or night.

The heart of Hampton Hit the deck The Casino Ballroom has been an entertainment hub for residents and visitors since 1899. Despite the name, the Casino was never a gambling establishment.

According to its website, the Casino got its moniker because the word translated from Italian is “summer house.” In its more than 100-year history it has undergone many changes, but since the 1990s it has been known as a place national acts must perform at each summer. Each summer the Casino features a variety of acts — from comedy to rock, blues to country. The schedule in 2019 includes The Beach Boys, Trevor Noah, Get the Led Out, Johnny Lang, Pat Benatar and Chase Rice.

169 Ocean Boulevard www.casinoballroom.com

Bernie’s Beach Bar lays claim to having the largest deck on the Beach. There’s no better place to relax on a warm summer night for a meal, and an adult beverage. There’s live music seven nights a week, with several national acts making appearances this summer including G Love on July 2 and Stephen Marley on July 17. Be sure to check out the weekly cornhole tournaments, reggae nights and the fireworks party every Wednesday.

73 Ocean Boulevard www.berniesnh.com

Get your motor running You can see Ocean Boulevard/ Route 1A on foot, by bike and by car, but one of the more exciting ways to tour the area is by scooter. Seacoast Scooters rents by

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the hour, day or week. Its flagship location is in North Hampton, but you can also rent from their second location on L Street. www.seacoastscooters.com

Fishing for fun Looking for adventure and time on the water? Go fish. Sunrise Adventure Charters fishes inshore along the New Hampshire coast and the Hampton and Merrimack rivers. Board the Sunrise Adventure for a half-day or full-day fishing charter. All bait, tackle and licenses are provided. Al Gauron Deep Sea Fishing and Whale Watching also has morning, afternoon and night fishing trips, or go for the whole day. Find both at the beginning at Ocean Boulevard, right off the Route 1A bridge. www.sunriseadventurecharters.com www.algauron.com

More to do On-the-water fun: Hampton Beach Parasail and Paddle Board, 1 Ocean Blvd., Find on Facebook

Karaoke, dining & dancing: Charlie’s Tap House (formerly known as Stacey Jane’s), 9A Ocean Blvd. www.hamptonkaraokebar.com

Live country music: The Goat Restaurant and Whiskey Bar, 20 L St.

Summer events calendar: www.hamptonbeach.org

We’re always here for those can’t wait moments.

Open 7 Days a Week | 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.

603.673.5623 BestUrgentCareNH.org

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| JULY 2019 3

ALLIYAH LIVES WITH SICKLE CELL DISEASE, BUT IT DOESN’T STOP HER FROM LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

Alliyah S. Manchester, NH

NEW HAMPSHIRE’S ONLY CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL. Born with sickle cell disease, Alliyah has relied on the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth-Hitchcock (CHaD) her entire life. As the only children’s hospital in New Hampshire that offers advanced pediatric services, CHaD is dedicated to providing every child with outstanding and compassionate primary and specialty care. With a focus on innovative research and education, Dartmouth-Hitchcock is there for Alliyah and her family every step of the way.

go.d-h.org/kids

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