ParentingNH September 2018

complimentary

september • 2018

A few of their favorite things Meet PNH’s essay contest winners

Preschool: What parents need to know School bus driver tells all Fall family fun

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Contents september departments

3 From the editor’s desk

4 The short list

6 I want that

38 Dad on board

39 Raising teens & tweens

40 House calls

42

features 8 Young Writers Essay Contest winners

12 What you need to know about preschool

29 Meal options for busy school nights

34 Don’t miss these fall festivals

22 Secrets from the school bus

Out & about

44 Time out

keep in touch ParentingNH.com facebook.com/ParentingNH On the cover: The winner of PNH ’s Young Writers Essay Contest Aidan Sevigny, 12, of Bedford.

Photo by Kendal J. Bush Photography, www. kendaljbush.com.

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 1

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©2018 McLean Communications, LLc Parenting New Hampshire Magazine® is published by McLean Communications, 150 Dow St., Manchester, NH 03101, (603) 624-1442. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part without the written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no responsibility for any mistakes in advertisements or editorial. Statements/opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect or represent those of this publication or its officers. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication, McLean Communications, LLC.: Parenting New Hampshire Magazine disclaims all responsibility for omission and errors.

2 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

from the editor’s desk Finding comfort in a familiar friend Earlier this month I had the pleasure of reading through dozens of essay contest submissions for our fourth annual contest, in which I asked kids and teens to answer the question: “What is your most prized possession?”

I expected to read about tablets or cell phones, a PS4, Beats headphones — any technology you see on the ears and in front of the eyes of kids.

So I was surprised that I did not receive an entry that mentioned anything with Apple or Samsung in the name.

The items kids wrote about were sentimental and ranged from a Bible to a dollhouse to pets — dogs, cats, horses, even a rabbit.

But what was talked about most by our young writers was their stuffed animal.

Like the live versions, the ones of the stuffed variety include a number of species — from dogs to bears to frogs. Doggy, Teddy and Froggy are beloved by their owners. They go where their owners go, are well cared for, and in some cases are basically a member of the family.

I couldn’t help but smile as I read these stories. I, too, had a stuffed bear named, yes, Teddy. He was made of dark brown fabric and he had a yellow tummy, a piece of red felt for his tongue, and a random button sewn on for an eye — a repair my mother must have made while on staff at the animal hospital.

I had many stuffies, but Teddy was the original go-to for comfort. No matter what changed in my life, he was there.

Psychologists have a term for stuffed animals — transitional objects. The object doesn’t have to be a stuffed animal; it can be anything — a blanket, a piece of clothing, a doll. The child chooses it, assigns special value to it and it comforts and soothes child as they separate from their mother. Later in life, it becomes a keepsake that brings an older child back to a comforting, familiar place. These transitional objects play an important role in a child’s emotional development.

Doggy, Teddy and Froggy are more than toys; they ground children and give them a sense of connection and safety as they grow.

If your child is still insisting you make a space at the dinner table for their friend and put their friend in the shopping cart at the store and cry like hell when their friend is accidentally left behind, remember that it’s all part of healthy development.

contributors • september Krysten Godfrey Maddocks is a former journalist and marketing director who now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. Mom to 4-year-old Everett, she has lived in the Seacoast for the past 20 years.

Andrea Bushee Belanger has been writing for New Hampshire newspapers and magazines since 2004. She is based in Pembroke and is a mom to three children. She won a gold award from the Parenting Media Association in 2017 for her feature, “Get Ready to Raise Chickens in Your Backyard.”

Michelle Lahey is a food writer who has been writing about (and eating) food in New Hampshire for over 10 years. Outside of food, you can find her sipping on a good IPA, correcting other people’s grammar, or hiking in the White Mountains.

Tracey Tucker writes the Tweens and Teens column. She is also the executive director of New Heights: Adventures for Teens and a licensed mental health counselor at Tradeport Counseling Associates in Portsmouth.

Melanie Hitchcock, Editor

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| september 2018 3

the short list

compiled by melanie Hitchcock

This month on www.parentingnh.com:

Fall into family fun Summer is just about over and the kids are back in school, so that means corn mazes, fall festivals and apple picking is right around the corner. There are many activities going on throughout the Granite State for families that you won’t want to miss. Check out our web-exclusive listings and plan out your family fun for September and beyond.

• Parenting NH’s Guide to fall: www.parentingnh.com/fall • Where to pick your own apples: www.parentingnh.com/apples • Find a corn maze: www.parentingnh.com/cornmazes • Fall events and festivals listing: www.parentingnh.com/fallevents • Where to take your family hiking: www.parentingnh.com/hiking

for even more fun ParentingNH.com

facebook.com/ParentingNH

4 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

twitter.com/ParentingNH

Visit a museum (for free!) on Museum Day Sept. 22 Here’s your chance to visit one of the Granite State’s museums for free on Sept. 22. Tickets for Smithsonian magazine’s annual Museum Day are now available for download at www. smithsonianmag.com. The theme this year is “Women Making History,” honoring women in society who are trailblazers in the arts, sciences, innovation and culture, and emboldening others to be pioneers.

Participating New Hampshire museums include: American Independence Museum, Exeter; Aviation Museum of New Hampshire, Londonderry; McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center, Concord; Millyard Museum, Manchester; New Hampshire Boat Museum, Wolfeboro; New Hampshire Historical Society, Concord; New Hampshire Telephone Museum, Warner; Seacoast Science Center, Rye; Strawbery Banke Museum, Portsmouth; The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire, Dover; The Fells Historic Estate and Gardens, Newbury and Wright Museum of World War II, Wolfeboro.

Fairies, trucks and a harvest festival – enter to win

Genome Exhibit at SEE Science Center opens Sept. 15 On Monday, Aug. 20, SEE Science Center in Manchester installed a new exhibit focused on the wonders of the human genome. The exhibit is so large it had to be hoisted into the building through a third-story opening on the Commercial Street side of the building.

The exhibit offers learning opportunities to explore how life works. It answers common questions that surround the human genome, such as genetic predetermination, the nature of mutations and the very slight differences in genetic material that separate one human being from another. The genome exhibit uses interactive displays, visually rich environments and family-friendly activities.

Correction:

Congratulations to the winners of ParentingNH’s Day Out with Thomas ticket giveaway. Bryce Anderson, 7, Cole Anderson, 3, (pictured) along with dad Harry Anderson III and mom Kari Canfield headed to Conway Scenic Railroad in July. They didn’t let a little rain spoil their fun.

In the article, “Watch out, universe – here comes Julie Sage,” in ParentingNH’s August issue, it should have read that Julie was one of 20 kids from the John D. O’Bryant School or from the Clay Amateur Radio Club, located in the Boston area, participating in MIT’s CubeSat program. Also, she was the NH merit winner for the 3M Young Scientist Challenge.

In September you’ll find no shortage of fun family events going on in New Hampshire, and ParentingNH is giving away family passes to three of them. Go to www.parentingnh.com by Sunday, Sept. 16, to enter for your chance to win.

The 14th annual Fairy House Tour is Sept. 22-23 in downtown Portsmouth. More than 250 fairy houses built by creative professionals, community members and students will be on display on the grounds of Strawbery Banke, the Governor John Langdon House and in Prescott Park. Enter to win a family pass, valued at $25. www.portsmouthfairyhousetour.com Touch-A-Truck is Sept. 22-23 at Pease International Tradeport in Portsmouth. This annual touch-a-truck event, featuring more than 40 vehicles, is a fundraiser for the Richie McFarland Children’s Center. Enter to win a family pass, valued at $20. www.richiemcfarland.org Remick Country Doctor Museum and Farm in Tamworth hosts its annual Harvest Festival on Saturday, Sept. 22.

Festivities include tractor-drawn wagon rides, meet and greet with the farm animals, games and a scavenger hunt, apple cider making and samples, corn grinding, wood sawing, music and touring historic buildings.

Enter to win a family pass, valued up to $40. www.remickmuseum.org

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 5

I want that

compiled by melanie Hitchcock

Tag, ping and ring Are your kids notorious for losing things at school? With the small Bluetooh Cube Tracker, just tag, ping and find them with ease. Use it to find their backpack, jacket, or lunch pail. Just ping Cube with your mobile phone to make it ring so you can find it.

Available at www.cubetracker.com; $24.95

Color-changing fun Kids love watching as the handle of Fiskar Color Change Pointed-tip Kids Scissors changes right before their eyes. The longer they hold the handle, the more the color changes. Ideal for kids ages four and up, the contoured handle boasts a playful pattern and accommodates both right- and left-handed users. Different sizes available.

Available at major retailers; $1.49-$4.99

Ditch the brown bag Funkins Lunch Bags keep food fresh, cool and readyto-go. Each neoprene bag is thoughtfully designed with interior patterns, soft handles, durable zippers, reinforced seams, interior labels and a convenient interior pocket.

Lead-, phthalate-, PVC- and BPA-free. Easy to pack and clean. Choose from several fun designs.

Available at Amazon or www. myfunkins.com; $14.95 and up

6 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Notebook 2.0 The Everlast notebook by Rocketbook provides a classic writing experience built for the digital age. Endlessly reusable, It feels like a traditional notebook. Use any pen from the Pilot Frixion line and it sticks to Everlast pages like regular paper. Use the Rocketbook app to scan your notes into editable documents and save them to cloud services including Dropbox, Google Drive, and Evernote and more.

Available at www.getrocketbook.com; $34

Backpack with a purpose Looking for a sturdy, roomy backpack? This one fits the bill, and your purchase helps others.

Fenrici donates five percent of net proceeds to Global Genes to fund the education and research for pediatric rare diseases. The backpack, available in a number of bold designs, has three large compartments with multiple interior pockets and a laptop sleeve, deep mesh side pockets and is built to be comfortable.

Available at www.fenrici.com and www.amazon.com; $65

Practice time.

Show time.

College saving time.

The first step to helping their dreams come true is to make saving part of your routine.

The UNIQUE College Investing Plan account offers tax-deferred growth and no minimum to open an account.1 There’s also the Fidelity Investments 529 College Rewards® Visa Signature® Card, which lets you earn unlimited 2% cash back2 on everyday purchases. Rewards are deposited directly into your 529 account to make sure your saving and spending are in perfect rhythm.

To learn more, or to open an account, visit

Fidelity.com/unique

Managed by:

or call 800.544.1914.

Please carefully consider the plan’s investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses before investing. For this and other information on any 529 college savings plan managed by Fidelity, contact Fidelity for a free Fact Kit, or view one online. Read it carefully before you invest or send money.

The UNIQUE College Investing Plan is offered by the state of New Hampshire and managed by Fidelity Investments. If you or the designated beneficiary is not a New Hampshire resident, you may want to consider, before investing, whether your state or the beneficiary’s home state offers its residents a plan with alternate state tax advantages or other state benefits such as financial aid, scholarship funds, and protection from creditors.

Units of the portfolios are municipal securities and may be subject to market volatility and fluctuation.

Zero account minimums apply to self-directed brokerage accounts only. Account minimums may apply to certain account types (e.g., managed accounts) and/or the purchase of some Fidelity mutual funds that have a minimum investment requirement. See https://www.fidelity.com/commissions and/or the fund’s prospectus for details.

2 You will earn 2 Points per dollar in eligible net purchases (net purchases are purchases minus credits and returns) that you charge. Account must be open and in good standing to earn and redeem rewards and benefits. Upon approval, refer to your Program Rules for additional information. You may not redeem Reward Points, and you will immediately lose all of your Reward Points, if your Account is closed to future transactions (including, but not limited to, due to Program misuse, failure to pay, bankruptcy, or death). Reward Points will not expire as long as your Account remains open. Certain transactions are not eligible for Reward Points, including Advances (as defined in the Agreement, including wire transfers, travelers checks, money orders, foreign cash transactions, betting transactions, lottery tickets, and ATM disbursements), Annual Fee, convenience checks, balance transfers, unauthorized or fraudulent charges, overdraft advances, interest charges, fees, credit insurance charges, transactions to fund certain prepaid card products, U.S. Mint purchases, or transactions to purchase cash convertible items. The 2% cash back rewards value applies only to Points redeemed for a deposit into an eligible Fidelity account.

The redemption value is different if you choose to redeem your Points for other rewards such as travel options, merchandise, gift cards, and/or statement credit. Other restrictions apply. Full details appear in the Program Rules new card customers receive with their card. Establishment or ownership of a Fidelity account or other relationship with Fidelity Investments is not required to obtain a card or to be eligible to use Points to obtain any rewards offered under the program other than Fidelity Rewards.

The creditor and issuer of the Fidelity Investments 529 College Rewards® Visa Signature® Card is Elan Financial Services, pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A., Inc. The Fidelity Investments and pyramid design logo is a registered service mark of FMR LLC. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC, Member NYSE, SIPC, 900 Salem Street, Smithfield, RI 02917. © 2018 FMR LLC. All rights reserved. 790730.4.0 1

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ongratulations to Aidan, Meara, Molly and Tejan, the winners of 2018’s Young Writers Essay Contest.

Essayists were asked to answer the following question: What is your most prized possession? And they were asked to explain why it is important and meaningful to them.

Writers age 7 and older submitted essays about items that ranged from stuffed animals to beloved pets to books.

The question must have resonated with kids and their parents as ParentingNH

Young Writers Essay Contest 2018 received a record number of entries for the contest.

I couldn’t be more pleased with the quality and depth of the essays. I’m happy to see so many parents encouraging their young writers to express themselves. Writing skills are critical to a child’s future success, personally and professionally. We may live in a society that increasingly depends on technology to communicate, but being able to explain ideas and thoughts concisely and clearly will never go out of style.

Thank you to all who submitted essays; I enjoyed reading each and every one of them.

Keep writing! It’s a skill that improves with practice.

— Melanie Hitchcock, Editor

8 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

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o me, my most prized possession is my collection of snow globes. Each one tells a story about where and when my family and I visited someplace special.

I have snow globes from the coast of Maine all the way to Las Vegas. On our most recent vacation, my family and I went to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina. I got a particularly nice snow globe featuring an anchor partially buried in sand. This past April, we went to Nevada and Arizona for April school vacation. I brought back two from that trip — one from the Grand Canyon and one from Las Vegas.

To date, I’ve collected 15 snow globes and they all sit in chronological order on a shelf in my room. I treasure my snow globes because they are like tiny little memories. Somewhat similar to pictures, they wrap up the entire trip or outing we went on in a simple glass ball full of water and flecks of “snow.”

I like to buy snow globes myself with money I have earned doing chores around the house, but every once in a while, my parents will buy one for me. For example, my dad travels for work and last year he came back with a snow globe from Canada for me. My parents went to Cancun for a wedding and brought back a Riviera Maya snow globe.

I pass by my collection of snow globes every time I leave my bedroom. If all or even one of my snow globes went missing, I would be devastated. Each one has a special meaning to me, each in its own unique way. I equate my snow globes to a lifetime of family photos.

I’m only 12, so it may not be a long lifetime, but it’s my lifetime.

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y most prized possession is my MD300 electric guitar. It all started when my dad decided to sign me up for music class and I was 6 years old and I knew I wanted a guitar but there was a problem. My hands could not fit on a full sized guitar. So my dad brought me to the guitar store and got me a three-fourth size acoustic Yamaha. I practiced and practiced on my acoustic Yamaha.

I still remember the day when I forgot to get my acoustic guitar to music class. My teacher offered his white STRATosphere electric guitar which was super cool to play.

Soon a whole year passed and my 7th birthday was coming so when my dad asked me what I wanted I said I am a big boy now, I want a full sized electric guitar. So then me and my dad went to Guitar Center and played a few guitars and then we chose a MD300 electric guitar.

My MD300 electric guitar is walnut stain color. It has a basswood body. It has a locking tuning mechanism.

I like my guitar because it makes nice sounds especially when it’s attached to the amplifier and I can play like a rock star.

OVERALL WINNER

Aidan Sevigny Aidan, 12, is a seventh-grader at Ross A. Lurgio Middle School in Bedford. He’s a Boy Scout in Bedford’s Troop 5. He enjoys creative writing and spends a lot of time reading. He plays soccer, baseball and loves to kayak and ski with his family. He lives in Bedford with his parents, Brian and Kathy, and his older brother, Jacob. His family also includes a rescue dog named Otis and a 19-year old cat named Mocha.

WINNER, AGE 7 & YOUNGER

Tejas Nyaharkar Tejas, 7, son of Uday and Jayshree Nyaharkar, is passionate about his guitar. His favorite music is classic rock. He is also very fond of reading and loves building robots.

Tejas, and his brother, Ishaan, 6, love swimming, doing yoga with their grandmother, and running around in the backyard. He will be a second-grader at Thorntons Ferry School in Merrimack in the fall.

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Meara Horan, 10, of Londonderry, loves writing. Her idols are her parents and her sister. She also loves books. She has two cats that she adores. Meara is into Star Wars, Harry Potter, Jurassic Park and giraffes. In her free time she plays soccer, reads, writes, dances, and acts in plays. She is the daughter of Michelle and Brendan Horan and will be a sixth-grader this year at Londonderry Middle School.

WINNER, AGE 12 & OLDER

Molly McNeill

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very year my family from my mother’s side goes to Emerald Isle, North Carolina, to stay on the beach in a big house. It’s a time when we reconnect as a family.

When I was six, my cousin found a little glass dolphin lying on the sand. Dolphins are our favorite animals; they are wise and family oriented creatures.

My cousin gave that little figure to me telling me to hold on to it and to keep it safe as it is a symbol of our family love and bond. My cousin said, “When you look at this dolphin think of me and I will be thinking of you.”

That little dolphin figure is my most prized possession. Every year when we went back to our house on the beach I brought it with me to show it to my cousin so she knew I still had it. As the years went on we stopped going to our home on the beach every summer and family started to move away.

As every year turned into every other year then to not going at all, I would look at the dolphin and smile knowing my cousin and other family still loved me even if I did not see them at our house on the beach like I used to. To this day I still hold onto our dolphin because I know my cousin, even thousands of miles between us with an adult life, my cousin still loves me. Our dolphin is the WRI T NG real life symbol and reminder of the bond we share one that even years later remains as strong as the glass dolphin.

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Molly McNeill, 17, of East Kingston, is the youngest of six kids. In addition to her parents Kathy and Dan McNeill, her family includes three brothers, Danny, Mike and Sean, and two sisters, Kaity and Nikki. Her hobbies are baking, reading, singing and dancing. She is a big fan of Marvel’s Avengers movies. She adds, “hanging out with my friends and family is a big part of who I am. If I’m not reading or writing something I am with my mother watching movies or with dad practicing my martial arts or with one of my friends laughing and having a good time.” She is a junior at Exeter High School.

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Meara Horan

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WINNER, AGE 8-11

y most prized possession is a giraffe blanket that is 17 ½ inches long and is white with brown spots. He isn’t very big, but he is a portable blanket with a little head on top. His name is Raffi.

I have had him my whole life. He is actually older than me because he was a baby shower gift for my sister. When I was an infant and realized my sister had a lovey, I just needed one. So once I could crawl I took him for myself. Now his is mine and mine only.

Raffi is very special and important to me because he’s there for me when I get mad or when I can’t sleep; I have him to hug and squeeze.

I still sleep with him even at age 10. Some people drop their loveys when they are young because they don’t need them anymore, but Raffi sleeps with me every single night.

I have a realistic baby doll named Sami. Raffi spends his days with her when I’m at school. I pretend they are very good friends. They spend most of their days together in Sami’s crib.

I wouldn’t be able to live without my amazing giraffe friend for a day. You may not understand why my Raffi is so important but claiming him for myself changed my life forever. He goes everywhere with me. Thank God I found Raffi.

I wouldn’t be able to sleep a night without him. Raffi is a world traveler. He’s been to Mexico, Florida, Ireland, LA, Arizona, Las Vegas and more! He has even kissed the Blarney Stone. But his home sweet home is with my family, in my little warm welcoming home, in my purple cozy room, in my soft comfy bed. With me.

Y CONT

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www.parentingnh.com

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Beyond the ABC’s and 123s — the skills parents should expect their child to learn

By Krysten Godfrey Maddocks

12 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

e school prep L

ast year, CeCe Harris, 4, of Portsmouth, attended The Children’s Garden in Portsmouth two half-days a week.

This year she’ll add another day to her schedule and is more than ready to spend additional time in the classroom. CeCe’s mother, Jessica Harris, a former preschool teacher, said that she was lucky that CeCe exhibited no initial separation anxiety and has always been naturally social. Still, attending a structured preschool helped further develop CeCe’s social and fine motor skills.

“CeCe has been home with me since she was born, and I feel that this gradual increase prepares her for the full-week schedule she’ll face in kindergarten,” Harris said. “As much as I have used my skill set to assist her at home with academic tasks, I think there is something to be said for the classroom environment.”

Thousands of families across New Hampshire are sending their 3- to 5-year-old children to preschool this fall. Families can choose to send their children two to five days a week, and program days can range from 3 to 10 hours long.

Some programs are an extension of child care; others serve preschool-age children only. Whether parents are looking for their children to grow their social and emotional skills, develop academic proficiency or simply separate from their families a few hours a day, many are curious about what skills preschoolers should grasp before they head to kindergarten. From potty training to speaking, reading and writing, several experts weigh in on what you should expect your preschooler to learn – and how you can support their growth.

Develop a sense of independence through play Katelyn Dennis, executive director of Great Bay Kids Company, a 50-year-old nonprofit child care center with sites in Portsmouth, Exeter and Newmarket, said preschool students should first aim to develop independence and self-help skills.

GBKC’s preschool program serves children ages 3 to 5 from 6:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Friday, in addition to providing care for children from age six weeks through kindergarten and after-school programs. GBKC reaches 600 students each day.

“We often [as parents] want to do everything for them at home. It’s important to develop independent skills so that they can take care of their body and be healthy,” she said.

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| september 2018 13

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september • 2018

complimentary

NOw eNrOlliNg fOr fall 2018!

A few of their favorite things

year ’rou nd

meet pnH’s essay contest winners

Preschool: What parents need to know School bus driver tells all Fall family fun

51 Old BedfOrd rd Bedford•(603) 669-2811 LearningadventuresnH.com

For more information or to purchase tickets, please For more information or to purchase tickets, please call theorBox Office at (603) 886-7000 or visit... call the Box Office at (603) 886-7000 visit...

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For more information or to purchase tickets, please For more information or to purchase tickets, please call the Box Office at (603) 886-7000 or visit... call the Box Office at (603) 886-7000 or visit...

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Great Bay Kids Company completes regular individual student learning assessments and follows the Creative Curriculum, which outlines developmentally appropriate activities for children according to their age. Dennis said that GBKC also follows the School Administrative Unit 16’s report card for both pre-K and kindergarten, as teachers work closely with educators in the district to support children with individual education plans who attend the center.

Teachers focus on activities that help develop fine and large motor, social, and emotional growth.

“We know that 85 to 90 percent of the brain develops before the age of 5,” Dennis said. “What may look like play is an activity a teacher has set up on purpose to develop specific skills.”

And for those parents worried about potty training — a prerequisite for entry into many preschool programs — Dennis said it is built into the curriculum at GBKC. “Children model their peers’ behavior and support each other,” she said.

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‘‘

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I don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on preschoolers’ knowledge of their ABCs and 123s, but they should be asking questions and be an active communicator. They should be able to self-regulate before they learn as part of a group.

356 Exeter Road • Hampton Falls • New Hampshire 03844

’’

— Kate Glennon, speech language pathologist with Clearly Speaking

Johanna Booth-Miner’s preschool students focus on building resilience and independence through connections made in nature.

“Taking away ages 4 and 5 so that children can be 6 is a crime,” Booth Miner said. “I don’t believe in worksheets or sitting down with workbooks.”

Since 1974, students at Live and Learn have spent a lot of time outside. As the first Nature Explore Certified Outdoor Classroom in the state, the school offers three classrooms of preschoolers (and their younger and older peers ages 6 weeks to kindergarten, as well as children up to age 13 in their afterschool program) 25 acres of land to explore, including five miles of nature trails and plenty of animal friends.

“Every classroom as a mammal and fish tank. We have two donkeys, two sheep, 14 chickens and four rabbits [in barns]. Our children tell you eggs come from chickens, not the grocery store,” Booth-Miner said.

Through feeding and caring for animals, students develop caregiving skills and empathy. They learn also math and science www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 15

Country Village MONTESSORI SCHOOL

What does a high-quality preschool program look like?

Teachers focus on these areas to help children learn best.

Creating a caring community of learners

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In a high-quality preschool, children develop positive relationships with each other and their teachers.

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• Are warm and caring, and they get to know each child and family well • Help children learn how to play, work together, and make friends • Plan activities so that all children can join in • Include every child’s family, language, and culture in the program

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Teaching to support children’s development and learning Teachers set up the classroom, choose materials, and plan activities that support children’s learning.

They also: • Provide materials and activities that interest children and challenge them • Encourage children’s efforts by making specific comments • Set clear limits for children’s behavior and explain the reasons

Planning and adapting curriculum A preschool curriculum is based on what most preschoolers should know and be able to do.

Teachers plan and adapt curriculum to help children learn and grow by: • Setting learning goals for children that are challenging but achievable with help

through gathering and collecting data outdoors. Teachers photograph students as they are completing activities and “tag” them according to skill set — for example, fine motor — and send them to parents so they can see student learning in action. Later, these photographs become part of an annual portfolio.

Potty training is not required before students move up to a preschool classroom; classrooms are fluid and students can “try out” the next age level classroom to ensure it’s a fit.

“Can children succeed if they don’t know all the letters in their name by kindergarten? Yes. If they know how to risk-take and understand failure is not the end, but the beginning of the learning process, the child is ready,” Booth-Miner said.

Focus on speech, language, and literacy “By age 4, you should understand pretty much every word your child is saying,” said Kate Glennon, a speech language pathologist

16 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

• Balancing group activities and instruction guided by the teacher with activities children choose themselves • Providing enough time for children to get deeply involved in activities and learning • Paying attention to and supporting children’s interests, skills, and knowledge

Assessing children’s development and learning Through regular assessment, teachers understand what each child knows and can do. This helps them decide which materials, activities, and experiences to add to help children continue learning.

Teachers assess children’s learning and development by: • Regularly taking notes on what children do and say • Collecting samples of children’s drawings and writings • Taking photos of the things children make • Using screening tests to identify when children need more learning support • Asking you what activities your child does at home and what interests he has

Developing relationships with families Teachers want to build trusting relationships with families.

They know that you are the most important people in your child’s life.

• Encouraging families to participate in the program in different ways

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• Showing respect for each family and its language and culture

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Teachers partner with families by: • Listening to families’ goals and concerns for their children

• Trying to find ways to communicate in a family’s home language — Courtesy of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC); www.naeyc.org

with Clearly Speaking, a speech therapy practice with offices in Dover, Hampton Falls and Londonderry. While shyness is a normal behavior, by age 3 and 4, children should understand how to take turns, play cooperatively and verbally relate experiences to their peers and adults, Glennon said.

Parents can support their preschool-age child’s communication skills by empowering them in their communication, in whatever stage they happen to be in.

“They are just beginning to express ideas, frustrations and feelings ­— acknowledge them for that,” she said.

Reading to your child helps develop critical vocabulary skills, and in addition, they get the one-to-one communication and reciprocal sharing with someone else, Glennon said.

“I don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on preschoolers’ knowledge of their ABCs and 123s, but they should be asking questions and be an active communicator. They should be able to self-regulate before

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| september 2018 17

they learn as part of a group,� Glennon said.

A good preschool teacher should be enthusiastic and excited about books and talking about them. Good preschool classrooms include plenty of pencils, markers, lined paper, construction paper and other materials to help foster interest in reading and writing, according to Ruth Wharton-McDonald, an assistant professor at the University of New Hampshire and director of Seacoast Reads, a oneto-one tutoring program.

Some activities that support early literacy include reading nursery rhymes, singing songs, learning to recognize rhymes and even re-reading the same books to help support children re-telling a story in a different way, she said. Learning how to take turns while talking and listening while someone else is taking are important skills for little ones to learn as well.

At the same time, parents should understand that some children might not talk much compared to other 3-year-olds but might instead enjoy music or dance. Or kick a soccer ball better than other children. A good preschool is aware of the developmental trajectory that kids follow, but also pays lots of attention to individual children, Wharton-McDonald said. “In young children, we know there is a natural tendency in the community to compare your child to a neighbor, cousin or older

18 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Summer Camp is back at Gymnastics Village with half and full day options (9am-3pm)! Designed for boys and girls from 6 to 14, kids will participate in gymnastics rotations, fitness activities, Ninja Challenge obstacle courses, games, crafts, party apparatus like our inflatables, zip-line and more.

Registration for summer camps and recreational classes begins April 1st. Call 603.889.8092 or visit gymnasticsvillage.com.

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child. In most cases, that’s not particularly helpful. We know kids develop at their own pace and with their own interests,” she said.

Parents of preschoolers should not rely on drills to improve reading and writing, but should instead allow children to experiment, said Bethany Silva, research assistant professor of education and director of the Community Literacy Center at the University of New Hampshire.

As children learn how language works, they develop their receptive language, move on to spoken language and then focus on representational words in reading and writing, she said. Imaginative play around letters, words and pictures develops literacy.

“The first stage of writing is drawing and pictures,” Silva said. “Often what happens between 3 and 5 is that children go from abstract drawing and scribbles to representational drawing. The child who used to draw scribbles might then be able to draw a family. By the time a child hits the 5-year mark, he or she might be able to draw a lot of letters.”

Continue to build resilience Important preschool self-help skills include the ability to secure a button, jump, balance and hold a marker, said Taylor Prendergast-Moore, a pediatric occupational therapist at Outside the Lines,

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a private practice in Dover that addresses fine and gross motor skills, cognitive and social abilities, and play skills and sensory processing abilities in children.

While at age 3 or 4, children aren’t expected to have mastered those skills, they should feel comfortable attempting them, she said.

“It’s not ‘can they do their buttons,’ but how do they act in the process? Are they calm when they face failures? Do they immediately ask for help when they feel slightly challenged? Do they explore methods and ways to solve a problem?” said PrendergastMoore. “Simply changing wording from ‘I’ll show you,’ to ‘what would happen if?’ can shift a child’s mindset and help build resilience, as they are starting to explore trial and error on their own.”

Parents should also work with their caregivers to model consistency, particularly when potty training. For boys, parents should not worry about mastering potty training

20 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

“They should be involved in learning activities that are immediately intrinsically fun.”

Address concerns

until about age 4. During the preschool years, children are still developing their interoceptive system, which is the part of them that tells them when they are hungry, tired or feeling things in the body. But while children should be gaining more control over their bodies and learning how to function in groups, that does not mean they should be sitting still in the process, Prendergast said.

“Right now, we are asking kids to do things before they are ready to do them. Kids should be outside playing. If they are sitting still, they should be turning over rocks and looking for ants. Or learning how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” she said.

If parents are concerned their preschool-age child is falling behind or could benefit from extra help at home, they should immediately communicate with their child’s teacher. They can also talk to their pediatrician, participate in a public school screenings, or get an evaluation from a private provider with expertise in speech, physical, occupational or behavioral therapy.

“Parents should never feel that they drop off their child in the morning and then are not involved,” said Booth-Miner. “A quality early child care and educational facility deals with the child and their whole family.”

Krysten Godfrey Maddocks is a former journalist and marketing director who now regularly writes for higher education and technology organizations in New Hampshire and Massachusetts.

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| september 2018 21

Secrets from the school bus

A local bus driver tells all (maybe more than you want to know)

By Andrea Bushee Belanger

I

f you are having relationship issues, or gas, your child’s school bus driver probably knows about it.

Working with kids was new to me when I started driving a school bus 12 years ago. I expected to hear rambunctious chatter and some interesting conversations, but I was not prepared to hear about the personal things going on at home.

School bus drivers are often the first person a child sees outside their family each day and many times, especially younger children, will want to let us know what kind of night or morning they had. I have been told about family arguments that happened the night before, or some detail about

22 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

a rushed morning, as a child climbs the stairs to find a seat. I have learned to be empathetic but to quickly change the subject when it is personal.

On one sports trip I was embarrassed for the mom whose son announced how bad his mom’s gas was, loudly enough for the whole team, coaches and I to hear.

But not to worry, we also hear about how great you are, too.

We hear about everyday things like what your son hopes you are making for dinner because it is his favorite and you are such a good cook. We hear about cool trips your family takes and about how they cannot wait to give you their Mother’s or Father’s Day present.

What is Operation Safe Stop?

Operation Safe Stop is a cooperative, one-day, public service project including the joint efforts of the local school district, local police department, and county sheriff’s department with support from the New Hampshire Division of Motor Vehicles, State Police and the Governor’s Office.

It is designed to educate the public on laws about and the dangers of illegally passing Stopped School Buses with Red Lights flashing and Stop Arm extended; and, to increase police presence targeting violators of these laws.

— Courtesy of the NH School Transportation Association; http://www.nhsta.org

Keeping an eye out There can be up to about 72 or so passengers on a full-sized school bus and while we can hear some conversations, mostly up in front, it is impossible to hear what 60 to 70 children are talking about.

Often parents will want to know what the driver was doing while an inappropriate conversation or action took place on the bus.

It is impossible to keep track of or know exactly what that many children are doing at the same time while I’m driving the bus and glancing in the mirror every few seconds. We cannot see or hear everything that goes on. The seat backs are high for safety reasons and most of the time we cannot even see some of the small-

er children unless they are hanging out of their seats, and then we are asking them to sit correctly in their seats.

Sometimes we have to rely on the kids themselves to tell us if something is wrong because we can’t see or hear it, or we rely on parents to report an issue when they hear about it from their child. Many buses across the state now have cameras, which can be a great tool for reviewing these reports.

Most of the time the kids do a good job of monitoring each other. Sometimes too good of a job.

Hearing things shouted out like, “Kate is not sitting right,” and “John won’t stop saying ‘butt’,” and, “I don’t have any room!” and “Hey

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 23

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move over,” all at the same time is a daily occurrence.

Triaging what needs to be addressed while being cut off by a driver who is tired of having to stop behind you can get tricky.

At the same time we rely on the children for help, we also have to rely on other drivers to be doing the right thing. Most drivers are respectful and great about stopping far enough back when we are dropping off and picking up students. But when a driver suddenly makes a wrong move on curvy road, it can be heart-stopping.

Rules of the road Often children have to cross the street to their stop. If someone gets impatient and speeds up to blast through the stop sign just as a student is about to make their way across the street, it can be scary.

I have had to scream and honk my horn to get a young child’s attention so that they stop walking and avoid getting hit. We tell children to stop, wait and look for the drivers signal before they cross but that does not always happen.

Once while driving a smaller bus I had a stop where it took a few

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minutes for the student to board, sit down and put his seat belt on (we are required on small buses to wait until a student is belted in to leave the stop).

A driver behind me pulled up to the side of the bus screaming and swearing at me about how the stop was taking too long and exactly how he felt about me as a driver and about the students on the bus.

He peeled out; we could hear his tires screech as he raced off. I was stunned. I could not gather my thoughts enough to get his license plate number, never mind remember it even if I did.

While days like those happen on the bus, most rides go smoothly. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, children are 70 times more likely to get to school safely when taking a bus instead of traveling by car.

Locally there has been an effort by the New Hampshire School Transportation Association to gather data on where illegal passing is happening most often.

Walter Perry, executive director of NHSTA, says Operation Safe Stop (the most recent one-day project was May 1, 2018; 20-plus

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New Hampshire’s law governing overtaking and passing school buses RSA 265:54 I. The driver of a vehicle upon a way upon meeting or overtaking from either direction any school bus, plainly marked with school bus signs or such other distinguishing identification as the director may require, which has stopped on the highway for the purpose of receiving or discharging school children shall stop his or her vehicle before reaching such school bus at least 25 feet away from such school bus.

The driver shall not proceed until such school bus resumes motion, or until flashing red lights cease to operate.

III. The driver of a vehicle upon a divided highway with separate roadways need not stop when meeting of passing a school bus which is traveling in the opposite direction on the other half of the divided highway, or when upon a controlled access highway if a school bus is stopped in a loading zone which is part of or adjacent to such highway and pedestrians are not permitted to cross the roadway.

IV. Except as provided in paragraph III, no driver of a vehicle who is required to stop his or her vehicle in accordance with paragraph I shall overtake and pass a school bus on the right.

— Courtesy of the NH School Transportation Association; http://www.nhsta.org

communities participated) gives the organization a sample of what is happening in the state concerning bus stop safety. Next school year they will gather more data to compare.

In the meantime parents and others can report any passing they see to the police or bus company and, Perry added, if parents have their children in drivers education courses and are just getting their license, they should go over the laws about passing school buses with them.

Andrea Bushee Belanger is a school bus driver, freelance writer and mom to three children.

26 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

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• NH’S PEDIATRIC SEDATION EXPERTS • COSMETIC DENTISTRY • OROFACIAL MYOLOGY AND ORAL HABIT ELIMINATION

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This marks the 11th year in a row that ParentingNH has been honored by PMA, and we are pumped!

28 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Skip the drive-thru tonight Great take-out dinner options for busy families

By Michelle Lahey

Lexie’s Restaurants

B

ack-to-school means back to busy weeknights. Getting dinner on the table can be an exhausting endeavor. But thankfully, there are plenty of delicious spots across the state that can make eating together as a family a cinch. Here are some fantastic take-out options for those extra hectic evenings.

10 Jenkins Court • Durham; 82 Lincoln St. • Exeter; 212 Islington St. • Portsmouth 815-4181 www.peaceloveburgers.com Why it’s great: “I have three kids and a husband who

also works full-time, so I can say with confidence that Lexie’s is perfect for families that want something quick, affordable and will please everyone,” said Heather Beaulieu, operations manager at Lexie’s. Burgers, fries, hot dogs and fish tacos are just a few of the mouth-watering items any palate will be happy with at Lexie’s. The core menu is the same at all locations, but each spot also has their own specialty burgers; any of which can be made with U.S. prime chuck blend beef, chicken or their almost vegan Black Bean Patty.

Dish worth trying: “My favorite of the on-menu burgers is probably the Fun Guy, which has blue cheese, roasted mushrooms, crispy onion rings, and our horseradish sauce,” Beaulieu said. www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 29

courtesy photo

California Burritos

courtesy photo

101 Factory St. • Nashua; 35 Lowell Road, Unit C • Hudson 718-8745 • 402-2130 www.californiaburritosnh.com

The Gyro Spot

421 Central Ave. • Dover 343-4553 www.thegyrospot.com Why it’s great: The Gyro Spot offers a wide variety of graband-go eats. From gyros (on white or wheat pita) to rice bowls to loaded hand-cut fries, anyone in your brood can choose to be healthy or indulgent. The Gyro Spot even offers a variety of spreads with pita for a fun appetizer when “hanger” strikes — like the Melitzanosalata, made with roasted eggplant, feta, garlic, peppers, scallions and olive oil.

Dish worth trying: The Traditional Pork Gyro, which is filled with rotisserie pork, tzatziki sauce, onions, tomatoes, parsley, and hand-cut fries — all wrapped in a grilled pita.

Why it’s great: California Burritos serves up more than just burritos — think quesadillas, bowls, salads and tacos, too. No matter what dish you choose it’s customized to your liking. You pick the salsa, filling, protein and entrée style (i.e., burrito, taco, etc.). And for kids 10 and under (especially those who are pickier eaters), there’s even a simple kids’ menu featuring a taco or quesadilla stuffed with their choice of chicken, steak or vegetables.

Dish worth trying: Since each dish is customized to your craving, there’s a variety of ways to have a burrito, quesadilla or taco (to name a few) here.

courtesy photo

Goody Coles Smokehouse 374 Route 125 • Brentwood 679 - 8898 www.goodycoles.com

Why it’s great: The husband-and-wife team behind Goody Coles know a thing or two about barbecue. After all, the wife hails from Texas and the husband lived in the South for more than 10 years. Since 2003, they’ve been sharing their low-andslow-cooked meats with New Hampshire diners, served alongside housemade sides, many from family recipes. Your entire crew can feast on Goody Coles’ World-Famous Ribs, BBQ sandwiches or plates, salads and even brisket chili, to name a few.

Dish worth trying: The Family BBQ Packs are perfect for busy weeknight dinners. Goody Coles offers four, family-style meals, including the Rib Family Pack, made with one pound pulled pork, chopped brisket or turkey; one slab of ribs; a pint of beans; a pint of your choice of side (hello, garlic mashed potatoes); and four buns or cornbread.

30 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Live Juice 5 South Main St. • Concord 226-3024 www.livejuicenh.com Why it’s great: If you’re looking for a healthy and quick meal for the family, Live Juice is the place to visit – just make sure you get there early because they close at 6 p.m.

Nutritious wraps, salads and soups are on the menu, full of ingredients from the handful of local farms Live Juice works with. Their menu also boasts homemade juices and smoothies if you need a little extra kick of nutrients at the end of a long day.

Dish worth trying: The Jazzin’ Turkey Club wrap made with roasted turkey, tomatoes, carrots, cheddar cheese, bacon and sundried tomato dressing.

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Tilton House of Pizza

298 Main Street • Tilton 286-7181 www.tiltonhouseofpizza.com Why it’s great: Almost every town boasts their own house of

courtesy photo

pizza, but in Tilton, their pizza joint’s pies are a little extra special.

Each pie is loaded with plenty of cheese and generous toppings that are all miraculously upheld with a thick, nicely chewy crust.

Like most neighborhood pizza places, the value here is great for families, too — and the sense of community, thanks to the plethora of kids’ sports team photos adorning the walls, only adds to this hometown pizza place’s appeal.

Dish worth trying: Tilton House of Pizza offers grinders, entrees, and seafood dishes in addition to pizza but it’s hard to beat the simple onion and pepper pie.

Sandwich Master 19 Sonja Drive • Rindge 899-2211 www.sandwichmaster.net

Why it’s great: From sandwiches and burgers to quesadillas and salads, Sandwich Master has something for everyone. “We cover a large range of choices from those who want to be good…[to] those who say I deserve it and I want it, like our popular Dumpster sandwich,” said Earl Marshall, owner. The Dumpster — found on the Sandwiches Gone Mad menu — is a grilled sub roll loaded with chicken fingers, deep-fried mozzarella cheese sticks, and fried battered onion rings topped with mozzarella cheese and marinara sauce. For the wee ones, there’s a Little Appetites menu, featuring smaller portioned meals.

Dish worth trying: In addition to The Dumpster sandwich, Marshall also recommends their Junkyard Burger and BBQ Western Quesadilla. Not in the mood for something so heavy? Go for the Macaroni Cheese Balls. “The mac and cheese balls are like having a homemade meal in a fun shape that you can dip in a marinara sauce,” Marshall said.

32 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Michelle Lahey is a food writer who has been writing about (and eating) food in New Hampshire for over 10 years.

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Celebrate autumn Fall comes alive in the Granite State with festivals celebrating apples, pumpkins and foliage compiled By Melanie hitchcock

1

ire RiverFy, Oct. 13 • 1-9 p.ma. ge Park in Berlins, ide s hay r such a s ie it fires on ctiv acular y-fun a t il c e m p a f s ley Enjoy d, and inval ces, foo cogg a s r o k c dr u d w.an ter. ww the wa m a

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| september 2018 35

Advertisement

Money Matters: Finance 101 for Families derstand the concepts of earning and saving money. For younger children, we recommend a youth savings account opened with an adult custodian. For teenagers, we recommend a regular savings account with an adult custodian or joint owner.

2. As children get a little older, the next step is to open a checking account with debit card. A student checking account (with a parent or guardian as joint owner) offers a simple and convenient way for students to access their money when they need to make purchases. “

How can my bank/credit union help me manage my family’s budget?

Financial literacy is as important to teach youngsters as reading or writing, according to experts. And local banks and credit unions can play an important role in helping with that education. We reached out to a pair of experts to learn how to begin that process and how they can help.

Our experts: Anne-Marie Sousa, vice president of marketing and financial education at Jeanne D’Arc Credit Union, and Jennifer Marsella, marketing officer at St. Mary’s Bank.

What is the right age for my child to set up a savings or checking account?

Sousa: “What better present for a newborn than a savings account? It is truly the best gift to give a child, although they may not think so for years to come. Contributing to a child’s savings account for birthdays, holidays or other special occasions is truly a gift that keeps on giving because of the power of compound interest.

“I don’t believe that there is a magic age that is right for children to have a checking account, however I strongly believe that be-

36 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

fore opening a checking account, the teen must understand the responsibilities of managing their money. At Jeanne D’Arc Credit Union we have online lessons that cover many topics such as checking/savings accounts, budgeting, credit and much more.

They can be found at Moneystrong.org. All of these quick modules would provide valuable information for people of all ages. In regard to having a parent joint on an account, each financial institution has their own guidelines, but at Jeanne D’Arc a student can have an independent account at age 13.”

Marsella: “Introducing money concepts at a young age, even as young as preschool, is ideal for laying the foundation of good money habits.

1. An easy first step is opening a savings account so that children can begin to un-

Sousa: “Using an online personal finance management tool, such as Mint.com, or Jeanne D’Arc’s Money Compass is a great way to build and manage your budget.

These tools pull all of your accounts together in one place and present a snapshot of your finances. You can set savings goals, create a budget, view account balances, monitor spending and much more.”

Marsella: “St. Mary’s Bank offers a variety of resources to help individuals and families establish their budgets and stay on track.

1. Understand gross income (before all deductions) vs. net income (take-home pay).

Always use your net income as the starting point for your budget because that is the actual amount of money you will have to spend and save. Avoid letting the larger gross income amount make you think you have access to more money than you do.

2. Pay yourself first. It is essential to make saving money a priority rather than what you do with any leftover money. Think of your savings account as a bill and regularly contribute to it each month. Set up automatic deposits into a savings account, and you won’t even have to think about whether to save or spend that money.

3. Learn to make wise money decisions.

St. Mary’s Bank’s Education Center offers financial education classes that walk people through buying a first home, establishing and maintaining credit, protecting themselves from identity theft and scams, and even planning for the financial road ahead. These classes are free and open to our members and the public. Visit www.stmarysbank.com/events.”

What is the best way to establish money saving habits with my children?

Sousa: “The best way to establish money saving habits is to start young — the younger the better.

Just like brushing their teeth, or doing their homework, putting a portion of your child’s money into a savings account should be expected. What is equally important is looking for everyday teachable moments, such as a trip to the grocery store, to begin forming your child’s behavior toward money. Teaching them to save for something they want; to share by buying something for a friend’s birthday; and to spend wisely, are all important concepts in forming healthy habits. At Jeanne D’Arc Credit Union we help our youngest members save by visiting their schools and collecting deposits directly from the children. They receive a small prize for

their deposit and by visiting on a regular basis. They develop the habit of saving.”

Marsella: “Children often model their parents’ behavior, so parents who manage money responsibly play a pivotal role in their children’s money habits. Here are three additional tips to help you establish healthy money habits with your children.

1. Teach them how to earn money by giving them chores and paying small amounts for a job well done.

2. Show them how to organize their money into the categories of spend, share and save. Spend money can be used right away; share money is set aside for gifts or charity; and save money is put away for future large purchases.

3. Check in with them frequently to talk about how well they are saving toward their goals.”

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 37

Experience the

2018 Portsmouth Fairy House Tour

Magic!

Fairy House: Nancy Zechel Photo: Barry Kane

dad on board The not-so welcome wake-up call Mornings start early in our house – our teen daughter is less than thrilled

BY BILL BURKE

More than 250 magical fairy houses on display at the Governor John Langdon House, Strawbery Banke Museum and in Prescott Park.

Meet Fairy Houses author/ illustrator, Tracy Kane!

SEPT. 22 & 23 10 am - 3 pm

Tickets now available online at

portsmouthfairyhousetour.com or at select Portsmouth retailers. proceeds benefit local non-profits & schools FOR MORE DETAILS VISIT:

portsmouthfairyhousetour.com

My daughter is not a morning person.

Unlucky for her, I am.

I’ve always preferred to rise before everyone else. When I was a kid, our family had a lakeside cottage in Barrington, and I used to love getting up early to go fishing. I can’t remember the last time we went on vacation and I didn’t watch the sun rise. Now I spend my days writing in an office in Manchester’s Millyard, where I arrive when it’s still dark. I don’t have to, I just do.

It’s a lifelong approach that I’ve passed along to my child. Even if she doesn’t want it. And as a 16-year-old who would rather hibernate than ambulate, she definitely does not want it.

This is how it normally goes: I swing open her bedroom door, turn on the light and the dog, my enthusiastic 14-pound accomplice who brings chaos and fur to the process, launches onto her bed and mauls her with kisses. From my perspective, it’s adorable. I’m sure from her point of view — going from a deep, peaceful slumber to having a hyperactive mutt tap dance on her head while the light of a million nuclear blasts causes her eyeballs to retreat to the back of her skull — it’s something slightly less than cute.

Occasionally, her mother and I will run away for a long weekend and she’ll stay at my in-laws’ house. There, she’s brought out of dreamland each morning by her grandmother’s soothing tones and a tall glass of orange juice on the bedside table.

Then when we come home, life returns to normal and she’s awakened by a tall glass of get up.

Even though she’s not overjoyed about our routine, it doesn’t really matter, because it’s necessary. She goes to a regional high school a couple towns over, so the school bus picks her up at 6 a.m. And on the weekends, I roust her before dawn so we can go get breakfast together. It’s a nice tradition, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s going to always be delighted with me about it. I honestly think the whole early to bed/early to rise thing is a good way to approach the day — even if it means I will never see the third period of a Bruins game.

Part of me feels bad about the jarring way I bring her round. On the other hand, I remember when she was a toddler and sleep was but an exquisite, unattainable dream – something yearned for with all of my being, yet never fully achieved. As much as she likes sleeping now, it wasn’t her specialty back then. I distinctly remember thinking, “if I could sleep for more than three hours, I could do anything.”

Only she didn’t, and I couldn’t. So as far as I’m concerned we’re even.

Bill Burke is an alarm clock/writer who lives in southern New Hampshire with his wife and daughter — she’ll be the one yawning. He is also the managing editor of custom publications for McLean Communications.

38 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

raising teens & tweens At the finish line Senior year is perilous for both students and parents

BY Tracey Tucker

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High school seniors are pressured with a timeline that is often painstakingly anxiety-ridden, overwhelming and laced with feelings of fear, hope and ambiguity. They are sprinting to the finish line with applications, final projects and college essays. The pressure around which college to attend and how it will be paid for often times leads to sleepless nights.

College has become a professional sport for high school seniors, desperate to find the right college for their future professional life and the right fit that will allow them to enjoy a social life. Seniors are on the go during the fall of their last year, and many times this pressure to perform bleeds over into their family life.

Parents often get frustrated with their child’s procrastination, their “distance” from normal family routine and the behavior and mood of their almost adult. Parents report that they try to help their kid, but they are often pushed away or ignored. As the anxiety of the senior increases, parents find themselves taking on not only their kid’s anxiety but their feelings of hope, fear and ambiguity.

This time period is certainly a recipe for disaster, but it doesn’t have to be.

With seniors, I talk about organization, structuring time and working through feelings of ambiguity. Not knowing what is going to happen never gets easier, but there are ways to cope with these gray areas. I also talk to kids about the realities of their hopes and dreams. Many kids by this time have spoken to college counselors so they understand the process, but I help them get comfortable by aiding them in developing coping skills.

With parents, I focus on one issue — loss. I often find parents are not thinking about the big elephant in the room, and that is that their child is about to embark on a journey away from them. At this time parents tend to lean out or lean in too much with controlling or avoidant behaviors.

I talk to parents about their feelings around the process. I point out the behaviors that can push or pull their kids away. I talk about patience, and allowing their child to go through the process while they display a sense of calm and acceptance. I talk about communication and not feeding into their child’s anxiety by engaging in negative discourse or authoritative edicts.

Seniors “need” their parents more than ever during this time. Although how they show need might be off-putting or downright rejecting, remember that they are about to confront a huge change. In tackling the beginning of their next phase of life, seniors need to know that their parents are there, no matter what, and they are ready to catch them if they fall or watch as they fly.

Tracey Tucker is executive director of New Heights: Adventures for Teens and a licensed mental health counselor at Tradeport Counseling Associates in Portsmouth.

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| september 2018 39

Seacoast SATURDAY, Oct. 27 Mom & Baby 10AM-3PM expo The REGATTA cONFERENCE CENTER Rt. 236 ELIOT, ME

house calls parents must put the ‘Belts on bones’ What you need to know about booster seats

BY Julie Dietrich

THE Founding Sponsors

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Booster seats are the last hurrah of car seats.

Determining when your child should begin to use a booster seat should be based on bone development and maturity.

Many booster seat manufacturers say children should weigh 30 to 40 pounds to use them, but this does not take into account children who are both thin and tall — they may exceed the height allowance, but not the weight.

Early transitions to booster seats can result in ejection. There are tragic stories you can read through the Kyle David Miller Foundation (www. facebook.com/kyledavidmillerfoundation) regarding this issue.

The purpose of a booster seat is to position your child so the lap-shoulder safety belt in your car properly fits them. According to New Hampshire state law, when a child turns 7 they are no longer required to sit in a booster seat, but most children do not properly fit a seat belt until they are between the ages of 10 to12.

If a 7-year-old weighs 56 pounds, in a car crash at just 10 mph that’s 560 pounds of force that is put on a child’s organs and intestines.

That’s why we say “belts on bones”— bones are made to be strong and support force, to jump, and play, and fall and roll. If 560 pounds of force is placed on the soft tissues, organs are going to be compressed and the child will likely sustain internal injuries. If children are not in a booster seat, there is the potential for “submarining,” which is when a child is in a car crash and slips under the seat belt, incurring serious injuries, or death.

When can your child safely use a seat belt? The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a minimum height of 4 feet, 9 inches tall and the ability to pass the five-step test below.

Simply stated, that’s when the seat belt fits them the same way it fits you. Your child also may have a different seat belt fit depending on make, model and vehicle type.

Step 1: Does the child sit all the way back against the auto seat?

Step 2: Do the child’s knees bend comfortably at the edge of the auto seat?

Step 3: Does the belt cross the shoulder between the neck and arm?

Step 4: Is the lap belt as low as possible, touching the thighs?

Step 5: Can the child stay seated like this for the whole trip?

If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, your child still needs to sit in a booster seat, ensuring both the shoulder belt and lap belt fit correctly for the best crash protection.

In addition, all children should ride in the back seat until they are at least 13 as it is twice as safe as the front seat, and their bodies are not yet ready to support the force of an airbag. Development of bone strength is based on puberty, not on how big or tall a child may be.

Julie Dietrich, CPSTI, is the New Hampshire Child Passenger Safety Program Coordinator.

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40 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

The ORIGINAL extreme sport is coming to Merrimack!

2018 ÂŽ

Lumberjack championShipS Bring the whole family to see the power of real lumberjacks and lumberjills! watch the top 60+ athletes from the united States and canada compete head-to-head in twelve exciting events.

Order tickets at merrimackchamber.org/lumberjack2018 OMIC AT TREE SERVICE

Saturday, September 29 • anheuSer-buSch brewery, merrimack, nh

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 41

out & about

courtesy photo

compiled by melanie Hitchcock

9th annual Harvest Festival 15 SATURDAY LACONIA – Prescott Farm, 928 White Oaks Road.

Annual event includes horse-drawn hayrides, face painting, petting farm, food, music, oxen, games, raffles and hay jump. Free admission; hayrides are $1 per person, 3 and younger, free). 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

366-5695; www.prescottfarm.org

7-9 FRIDAYSUNDAY HAMPTON BEACH – Ocean Boulevard. Sample world-famous seafood at New England’s largest beach party. More than 50 of the Seacoast’s top restaurants will serve an abundance of mouthwatering seafood (and non-seafood items, too). Arts and crafts vendors, beverage tent with beer and wine, entertainment on two stages, Lobster Roll Eating Contest at 2 p.m. Saturday, fireworks at 8:30 p.m. Saturday. Admission: Friday, $5; Saturday, $10; Sunday, $8; children under 12 free. Friday, 4 to 9 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.; Sunday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. www.hamptonbeachseafoodfestival.com

Granite State Comicon 8-9 SATURDAYSUNDAY MANCHESTER – Manchester Downtown Hotel (formerly the Radisson), 700 Elm St. Granite State Comicon returns for its 16th year! Enjoy two days of comic book and pop culture fun at this family-friendly event.

Granite State Comicon features guest artists, celebrities, cosplay, vendors, dedicated kids con, workshops, panels, after hours events and more. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission: Saturday, $25; Sunday, $20; $40 for a weekend pass. www.granitecon.com

42 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Art Jam Riverside

8 SATURDAY

MANCHESTER – Arms Park.

This is definitely not your grandmother’s art in the park. It’s hip, bold and expressive — an explosion of color and creativity.

Experience paint, chalk, graffiti, horns, drums and all forms of music and dance from the east side to the west. And it’s all for a good cause; your $10 ticket will help local organizations fight the heroin/ opioid crisis. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. wwwartjamriverside.com

AUBURN – Auburn Village (Hooksett Road). Enjoy a funfilled day in the town of Auburn, featuring the famous duck race, Salmon Falls Apple Pie Contest, Pretty Chicken Contest, 5k Duckling Dash, New Hampshire artisans, crafters, children’s activities, food and more. Event benefits Auburn Historical Association and other local nonprofits. Free to attend. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. www.auburnday.com

courtesy photo

Hampton Beach Seafood Festival

Auburn Day and 26th annual Duck Race

8 SATURDAY

Financial Conference for Women 15 SATURDAY MANCHESTER – The Falls Event Center, 21 Front St. Learn more about managing wealth, building a strong credit history, investment strategies, salary negotiations, retirement planning and more, at this special event geared towards the needs of women. Brought to you by YWCA NH, the keynote speaker of the Financial Conference for Women is Jennifer Lane, founder of Compass Financial Associates in Boston.

She is also the featured personal finance expert on the New England Cable News’ weekly segment “Ask Jennifer,” on Business Day. Tickets: $25. 8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. www.ywcanh.org

Dover Ducky Derby and Family Fun Day

NH Highland Games and Festival

handcrafted fairy houses made by local artists, florists, garden clubs club members, businesses, families and local school children. Tracy Kane, the Fairy Houses Series® author and illustrator will be on hand both days to greet ticket holders and sign autographs. This year’s event will also feature the Artist Invitational, as well as performances by the Southern New Hampshire Dance Theater and the NH Theatre Project. Proceeds benefit Strawbery Banke, Prescott Park Arts Festival, the Governor John Langdon House, Prescott Park and the Portsmouth Elementary Schools.

Tickets: $15, adults, $10, seniors, $5, ages 3-12, and $30 for families of two adults/two children or one adult/ four children. Rain or shine. 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. both days. www.portsmouthfairyhousetour.com

21-23 Friday -sunday LINCOLN – Loon Mountain Resort. A three-day celebration of Scottish music, food and drink, athletics, dance, heritage and more. You don’t have to be Scottish to enjoy the pageantry and excitement of piping and drumming performances and competitions, highland dancing, fiddle, harp, sheep dog trials, and heavy Scottish athletic competitions. Scotland’s cultural history comes to life in living history encampments and the clan village, where more than 60 clans wear their tartans and share their traditions. Also, enjoy activities, games and storytelling designed for sharing our rich Scottish culture with our younger visitors – ages 5 years old to pre-teen. Rain or shine. Weekend tickets are $65; single-day tickets available. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day. For full schedule of events and activities, go to www.nhscot.org.

22 SATURDAY

Fall Fun Fest 22 SATURDAY HUDSON – Presentation of Mary Academy, 182 Lowell Road. Be a part of this historic occasion as we host the fun fest for the first time in The Thompson Center, our new, state-ofthe-art gym. Activities for all ages including a large variety of inflatables, bungee jump station, face painting, pumpkin painting, tie-dye station, petting zoo and more. Test your riding skills on the mechanical bull or mechanical shark. Try your luck at the Super Raffle to win a $500 prize. Also, food including traditional BBQ favorites, fresh pulled pork, pizza and more. Or cool off with Kona Ice, satisfy your sweet tooth with homemade apple crisp or visit the bake sale.

Free admission. 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. www.pmaschool.org

14th annual Fairy House Tour 22-23 SATURDAYSUNDAY PORTSMOUTH – The Portsmouth Fairy House Tour is the world’s largest fairy house tour and features more than 250

Scary Fairy’s Scream House by Nancy Zechel, Photo by Barry Kane

DOVER – Children’s Museum of New Hampshire, 6 Washington St. The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire and the Seacoast Educational Endowment for Dover have joined forces to host the first-ever Dover Ducky Derby. The derby will be held in conjunction with the Museum’s 35th anniversary Free Family Fun Day — a day of hands-on activities inside and outside the museum, including performances and mini-workshops. Free “ducky” activities for all ages include make-your-own duck squawkers and a “Do Like a Duck Does!” story walk. Adopted rubber ducks will launch from Washington Street bridge at 1 p.m. Prizes awarded to the first five ducks finishing the race.

Adopt a duck for the race online or in person at the museum.

Family Day is free. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. www.childrens-museum.org

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 43

time out

Share the experience of learning something new by melanie hitchcock

W

ith the kids back in school, it’s time for you to go on a learning adventure of your own. Try one of these activities and your classroom can be the kitchen, dance floor or art studio. Maybe you won’t become a chef or professional dancer, but you’ll enjoy spending time together learning something new.

kitchen is a take-out menu, or your meal repertoire is limited to chicken tenders and macaroni and cheese, it’s time to sharpen your (knife) skills at a cooking class. Every month Chez Boucher on the Seacoast offers a couples night where you can spend two hours learning new techniques and preparing a four-course gourmet meal you’ll sit down to enjoy, along with a glass of wine. At Culinary Playground in Derry you’ll prepare your meal from start to finish. Be sure to BYOB and register early as classes fill fast.

44 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018

Chez Boucher Hampton www.chezboucher.com Culinary Playground 11 Manning St. • Derry www.culinary-playground. com

Heating up: If the most familiar item in your

So you think you can dance: Whether the last time you danced was at your wedding, or you’ve dreamed about appearing on “Dancing with the Stars,” it’s time to take classes and see what you’ve got. You aren’t limited to the foxtrot or the quickstep — though traditional ballroom dancing never goes out of style. Grab you partner and learn the Tango, Salsa, Rhumba, even Swing. Just agree in advance to not get mad if your toe gets stepped on — it is bound to happen.

Eat

Dance Arthur Murray Dance Center 99 Elm St.• Manchester www.arthurmurraydanceclasses.com Let’s Dance Studio 5 North Main St.• Concord www.letsdancenh.com

Hands-on fun: You may not be able to re-enact the romantic scene in the movie “Ghost,” but you might come close at a local pottery studio. Studio 550 in Manchester offers Date Night on Fridays and Saturdays. You’ll have a pottery lesson and create your own memento of the evening. If you prefer working without instruction, drop in to The Place in Concord on Thursday and Friday nights with wine or beer in tow. Bonus: Every Friday from 5 to 9 p.m. is Date Night with 2-for-1 studio sitting fees.

Clay The Place Studio & Gallery at the Concord Community Arts Center 42 Thorndike St.• Concord www.theplaceconcord.com Studio 550 550 Elm St.• Manchester www.550arts.com

Once again, ParentingNH will honor those dedicated and talented teachers who ignite students’ passions for learning.

Nominate your favorite educator to be recognized in our Top Teacher issue in December.

Find details and the online nomination form in October at

www.parentingnh.com.

www.parentingnh.com

| september 2018 3

4 www.parentingnh.com | september 2018